Khuluma_finalStrung1

e-edition December 2020

zanier yours forever - download me please
than
ever* the yum’s inside
(menu on page 3)

Anne Hirsch
(virtually)

* Solo in Antarctica, cold-water swimming, far-out fashion,
long hikes, beds on a bridge, rude podcasts

+ the joys of being an introvert (isolation preferred)

Some say ….

‘Life’s a book
And those who do not travel,
Read only one page’
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Contents All the web PUBLISHED BY
addresses you see PICASSO HEADLINE
DECEMBER 2020 in this magazine are a proud division of Arena Holdings
clickable. Just hover Hill on Empire, 16 Empire Road (cnr Hillside Road),
your cursor over the Parktown, Johannesburg 2193
URL and click. PO Box 12500, Mill Street, Cape Town, 8010

23 38 EDITORIAL
Editor Keith Bain
EXPERIENCE 34 Content Manager Raina Julies – [email protected]
7 The Social space Content Co-ordinator Vanessa Payne
They say three’s a crowd, so remember to keep Copy Editor Nicci Collier
a few metres apart.
ART
11 SOUNDBYTES Head of Design Studio Jayne Macé-Ferguson
These are the voices you want inside your head.
Senior Designer Mfundo Archie Ndzo
EXPLORE Production Editor Shamiela Brenner
17 REST ASSURED Cover Photographer/Retouching Sven Kristian
Next-level hibernation. Make-up Artist Kirsten Murphy-Rossiter

23 SOLO SALES
Mike Horn craves alone time. Project Manager Richard White –
[email protected], +27 83 229 4040
27 DON’T FENCE ME IN khlassifieds Project Manager Steve Norval –
Elephants be like, ‘Get me out of here!’. [email protected], +27 60 401 3598
Sales Consultants Clint Smith, Andre Potgeiter,
34 BUSH TACTICS Andre Theunissen, Randy Grace, Stephen Crawford
Three walking safaris with plenty of wide-open space. Advertising co-ordinator Johan Labuschagne

38 CHILLING WITH A COLD-WATER GURU management
Dive into the Atlantic for a full-system reboot. Business Manager Lodewyk van der Walt –

DISCOVER [email protected]
44 I THINK I’M A LONER NOW Management Accountant Deidre Musha
Meet the ‘me time’ enthusiasts. General Manager, Magazines Jocelyne Bayer

46 SERIOUSLY UPSETTING FASHION Kulula.com
Mind-bending wardrobe trends. Chief Executive Officer Comair Ltd Glenn Orsmond
Executive Manager Sales and Marketing, kulula.com
51 THE GOOD (FOOD) BOOKS
Tomes for a cleaner you. Brian Kitchin
Brand Communictions Manager, kulula.com

Luane Lavery

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44 Picture: Sven Kristian57 KLASSIFIEDSkulula.com
tWhAEnnnLAoKonKonWoWFLhuIKArAtEtDhSbSEturuDyFLIItrnFIhKEgtAEconSSttbotouuuruFFyyrFF???

DECEMBER 2020 57

REMOTE WORK WITH
SURFACE FOR BUSINESS

25%

SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE EXPERIENCE

KEEP IT SAFE

THE SOCIAL SPACE

Cape Town
and online
4-12 December

Surf’s up

The Wavescape Surf and Ocean Festival is back with an epic mix of
marine conservation, surfing action and adventuresome events. Some
screenings and masterclasses have gone online, while there are drive-
in and outdoor cinema nights, as well as a beach clean-up at St James
to attend on person. The awesome festival poster pictured here is by
illustrator Yay Abe (@yay_abe). wavescapefestival.com

kulula.com DECEMBER 2020 7

EXPERIENCE SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE

Colour your world And
thmeorree’s
Norval Foundation in Tokai, Cape Town, currently has three major
exhibitions: photographs by Zanele Muholi; sculptures by Jackson Alfredo Jaar: The Rwanda Project,
Hlungwani; and this huge window vinyl by Athi-Patra Ruga. It’s the Cape Town, ongoing.
first part of his iiNyanga Zonyaka – ‘The Lunar Story Book’ – which
emulates stained-glass church windows and spills magical colours Zeitz MOCAA in Cape Town reopened after
into a large atrium. norvalfoundation.org lockdown’s hiatus with Home is Where the Art
Is, exhibiting over 2 000 artworks submitted by
It’s all Greek to me Capetonians. Now also showing is an exhibition of
selected work by Chilean-born, New York-based
The saucy drag queens at Cape Alfredo Jaar, the artist-activist whose six-year
Town’s Gate 69 cabaret theatre have project honours the 800 000 victims of the 1994
never been known to hold back on the Rwandan genocide. It’s deeply affecting and runs
naughtiness. Eros, their summertime until May. zeitzmocaa.museum
cabaret, promises to be hotter,
fleshier and more risqué than ever. Trail of Lights, Durban, 11–30 December.
It’s a Greek tragedy-inspired musical,
in which they conjure an agony aunt The Durban Botanic Gardens hosts this illuminated
named Aphrodite whose son, Eros, tribute to the festive season: You follow paths
is all raging hormones and no sense. between the trees and landscaped gardens,
Prepare for a whole new mythology of set aglow by lights to create an after-dark
lust and longing. gate69.co.za otherworldliness. There’s also a Festive Market,
music pop-ups, a pair of food gardens and
Drive-in and thrill youngsters can meet Santa in his dedicated grotto.
trailoflights.co.za
Fed up with Netflix on your laptop? Bundle your crew into the car
and time travel back to the days of drive-in movies at GoDriveIn in Soweto Kota Festival, 12 December.
Salt River, Cape Town. There are screenings of old favourites most
Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. This month there’s plenty of family Celebrating our nation’s beloved street food, this is
fare, including E.T. on the 4th and The Incredibles on New Year’s a hunger-satisfying gathering for the whole family.
There’ll be live music and a place for children to
Eve. Grown-up delights such as Pulp Fiction and Jaws are also play, too. It’s at the Soweto Cricket Oval in Rockville.
scheduled. Gates open 6pm, movies start 8pm; computicket.com
you can pre-order hot food (plus popcorn
and snacks) from Truck Norris Newcastle Day with Black Coffee,
when you book your tickets. 12 December.
godrivein.com
The king of Mzansi house music will be rocking
8 DECEMBER 2020 it at Newcastle’s Scrapyard Lounge.
computicket.com

kulula.com

SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE EXPERIENCE

Words: Keith Bain, Pictures: Yay Abe, Mike Hall, supplied Free December Yoga, Sandton, Alan live and unleashed
12 December.
Alan Committie loves the smell of
For early birds, this is an hour of yoga (from comedy in the morning. Mercifully, he
7:30am) at the DAVINCI Hotel & Suites on also loves its aroma in the evening,
Nelson Mandela Square. It’s in the outdoor which is when he’s performing his
area on the 6th floor and mats are provided. new solo stand-up show, Apoca
There’s space for 32 yogis. For R120, there’s LAUGHS Now! After months of
breakfast afterwards, too. 011 292 7000, online hilarity, he’s opening the new
legacyhotels.co.za season at Camps Bay’s Theatre on
the Bay. It runs from 9 December
Joseph and the Amazing until 16 January, and due to Covid
Technicolor Dreamcoat, East London, seating protocols tickets are only
15–23 December. sold in pairs. computicket.com

You know the story, you might even know the songs. The show must go on
But wear a mask and join the limited audience
so you can tap your toes and experience some of If you’ve been craving watching real
that old-fashioned Lloyd Webber magic. It’s being bodies on a real stage, moving as
performed at the Guild Theatre. computicket.com only real, well-trained dancers can,
then The Queen Show is a must. A
Bricklive SA, Cape Town, choreographed tribute to the music
16 December–16 January. of one of the world’s greatest rock
bands, the show is a gorgeous mix
At Canal Walk, children have use of half a million of nostalgia and innovative balletic
toy bricks to create whatever their imaginations athleticism. It’s at the Covid-compliant
dream up. Organisers promise strict health Pieter Toerien Theatre, Montecasino,
protocols inside their dedicated safe-play Brick Joburg from 11 December until
Pods. bricklive.co.za 3 January. computicket.com

Springbok Nude Girls Live, Bah, Humbug!
Stellenbosch, 31 December.
Ebenezer Scrooge’s infamous anti-
Join Springbok Nude Girls live at The Daisy Jones Christmas refrain could well be applied to
Bar at OMG, Summerhill Wine Estate for a hardcore most of 2020, but the Dickensian classic,
farewell and good riddance rock concert, aptly A Christmas Carol, never fails to melt a
titled ‘F**k You 2020’. The Nude Girls are expected frozen heart. It’s been worked into a two-
to start at 10:30pm, but depending on what kind of hand stage production with animation and
curfew is in place, event times may change, so stay puppet ghosts and other clever theatrical
up to speed. webtickets.co.za illusions to create a visually spectacular
family-friendly show. It’s at Montecasino’s
NYE dinner, bed and breakfast, Studio Theatre in Joburg from 3 December
Cape Town, 31 December. until 3 January. computicket.com

Right down at the V&A Waterfront, you can stay
at either The Portswood or The Commodore for
R2 820 per room. The deal includes a traditional
Cape Malay New Year’s Eve dinner-for-two at the
Quarter Kitchen restaurant, plus breakfast on the
first day of what promises to be a much better year.
Bookings are essential. 011 806 6800

kulula.com DECEMBER 2020 9



VOICES IN YOUR HEAD EXPERIENCE

Another thing
that extended time

at home has
reminded us of is that
podcasts are the ideal
accompaniment to
doing the dishes,
gardening and
mundane
chores. Block
out the noise
(or silence) and

immerse
yourself in stories,

deep dives and
bizarre mysteries.
Plus comedy, heinous
histories and even

envelope-pushing

Soundbytesmusicals

Pod-what? ‘Help my blinking tumour go viral!’

A portmanteau of ‘iPod’ Co-created by Hedwig and the Angry Inch
(remember them?) and writer, John Cameron Mitchell, Anthem:
‘broadcast’, the term podcast Homunculus is a 10-episode series that
was coined by journalist Ben dropped last April. It’s a boundary-shattering,
Hammersley who accidentally darkly comic musical drama with original
came up with it in 2004 when songs and a poignant story about a failed
he needed to add some extra artist (played by Mitchell) who launches an
words to a story he’d written app-based ‘tumour telethon’ to crowdfund the
about ‘a revolutionary new medical procedure he hopes will save his life.
audio distribution technology’. It co-stars the likes of Glenn Close and Patti
LuPone, plus Mzansi’s own Nakhane Touré.
Hammersley added You’ll soon be hooked and will want to sign
this: ‘But what to call it? up for the podcast platform’s premium plan
Audioblogging? Podcasting? granting you access to countless other highly
GuerillaMedia?’ The second addictive shows. luminarypodcasts.com

word caught on. DECEMBER 2020 11

kulula.com

EXPERIENCE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD Shining a light Brilliant conversations

Guilty pleasure Who in the world could possibly Whatever your opinion of TED Talks, Chris
make you interested in learning Anderson, the man who started them, is
Stephen Fry’s voice is among about the untold history of the a truly gifted speaker with an incredible
the most delightful things you song, ‘Who Let the Dogs Out’, made way of coaxing knowledge and opinion
will ever have in your ear. His famous by the Baha Men? ‘Who? from people. In The TED Interview, he
ability to string words together Who?’ I hear you chorus… Smooth- speaks with some of the most impressive
voiced podcast legend Roman individuals to have given TED Talks – going
beggars belief – in his new Mars, that’s who! With almost 400 even deeper into some of the world’s
podcast, 7 Deadly Sins, he will episodes since it launched in 2010, most important ideas in these one-on-one
bend your ear towards wholly sessions. It’s now in its third season.
original arguments, ones that 99% Invisible is ingenious in ted.com/series/the_ted_interview
will, with breathtaking scope, the way it manages to be both
conversational (without being
make you rethink human irritating) and slightly academic.
misdeeds altogether. His
thoughts, wittily composed It’s focused on design and
into robust monologues that architecture, but – as the show
are well-researched, rich in proves again and again – good (and
historical scope, packed with bad) design are everywhere. (By
imagination, and deeply lyrical, the way, ‘Whomst Among Us Let
will hold you – enthralled – for the Dogs Out’ was episode 389.)

all nine episodes. 99percentinvisible.org
play.acast.com

Our man in New Amsterdam Strange but true

In The Trevor Noah Podcast, the These four offbeat entertainers – Andrew
New York-based superstar comedian Hunter Murray, Dan Schreiber, Anna
Ptaszynski and James Harkin – are known
teams up with comedy writer David as the QI elves. Their job of collecting
Kibuuka to zoom in on topical issues bizarre facts for the popular British TV
from unexpected angles as they explore show, QI, resulted in No Such Thing as
some of the paradoxes of modern life. a Fish, a brilliant podcast that mixes comedy
They get in some incredible guests, too, and trivia. Each of the elves presents a
like #MeToo founder Tarana Burke (25 strange fact and then the entire team
March) and their 16 Marchepisode, ‘Going sets about adding layers of increasingly
Viral’, was all about one of COVID-19’s strange and only vaguely related facts.
unexpected side-effects: slowing us all nosuchthingasafish.com

down. luminarypodcasts.com

12 D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0 kulula.com

VOICES IN YOUR HEAD EXPERIENCE

Just ask Alexa

Season one of Land of the Giants,
a podcast all about enormous entities,
is all about Jeff Bezos’s tax-evading
corporation. It’s called ‘The Rise of
Amazon’ and will first impress you with
the online giant's first tiny steps, and
then disturb you with how it is taking
over our lives. Season two tackles
Netflix. You know? That thing that got
you through lockdown. vox.com

Stay at home Ron’s back!

Launched mid-lockdown, Texx Talks is a Love him or hate him, Will Ferrell is a master
weekly homegrown podcast in which Tecla of deadpan awkward comedy. Resuscitating
his film role as a legendary San Diego TV
Ciolfi interviews notable South African anchorman full of misogyny, bad ideas,
musicians. The first season kicked off with terrible taste and – mostly – himself,
Zolani Mahola aand there are now three The Ron Burgundy Podcast gives Ferrell
season's worth of interviews, with guests from access to a whole new medium. In it, the
elsewhere in Africa, too. texxandthecity.com seriously unhinged Ron grabs the mic while
he and co-host Carolina Barlow delve into
The time traveller’s podcast inappropriate places with unsuspecting
guests. From using his very first episode to
In Revisionist History, the great journalist, writer and ponder the question ‘What is a podcast?’ he
now podcaster, Malcolm Gladwell, takes listeners into is now knee-deep in season three, having
interviewed the likes of Deepak Chopra and
the nooks and crannies of history, zooming in on the Sia, all the while asking questions that are
misunderstood and overlooked in order to bring a fresh certain to make you cringe and guffaw at the
perspective to something in the past. One episode, ‘The same time. iheart.com

Words: Keith Bain, Pictures: iStock.com/Zodchly, Supplied Obscure Virus Club’, is about the biologist who, in the
1970s, became convinced that something wasn’t right
with science’s understanding of viruses. His discoveries – DECEMBER 2020 13
despite being rejected by colleagues – changed everything

and might be why we’re still all here.
revisionisthistory.com

kulula.com

Jo’burgers, jet off to Durbs or to Cape Town

from R499 one way from R749 one way

Prices include: a FREE 20kg checked bag,
7kg handbag, vat & taxes.
Book now to fly from 1 Dec.

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DON’T STOP ME NOW EXPLORE

EXPLORE

Here. There. Everywhere.

Words: Nicci Collier, Picture: Daviid Swanepoel Itchy feet

In 2018, writer and journalist Don Pinnock wrote, ‘In Africa, an
elephant dies from a poacher’s bullet every 15 minutes. But in
South Africa’s private reserves they’re breeding like bunnies
and there’s trouble up ahead.’
Part of the ‘trouble’ was Riff Raff, a 45-year-old bull
who repeatedly broke fences and, when moved to a new
reserve, turned around and walked the 64km back to
his original territory. The size of a wild elephant’s
home range is staggering, extending up to 11 000
square kilometres.
‘In South Africa, there are virtually no free-roaming
elephants left,’ says Ida Hansen, Project Elephants
manager for the NGO Elephants, Rhinos & People.
‘Elephants break fences because it is natural
for them to migrate, following the rain and the
nutrition. It has nothing to do with testosterone
or aggression.’
In this strange new era, being cooped up is
something most of us can relate to; the desire
to roam and explore is one we’ll probably never
again take for granted. On page 27, you can
follow the thrilling tale of the relocation of a
group elephants to new pastures in hopes
that they’ll never again feel restricted nor
have reason to break fences or venture
into harm’s way.

17 23 34Bot River and beyond
When alone time is prime time Off-grid and at peace

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FAR-OUT DIGS EXPLORE

SUSPENDED HIBERNATION

REST ASSURED

1. Live the pod life in Bot River DECEMBER 2020 17

Visually futuristic, these state-of-the-art wood-clad private abodes
look almost as though they’re levitating above the earth. Rudi, who
designed and built them, likes to describe the ‘Fynbos Pods’ at
KolKol as ‘seamless rectangular cocoons,’ and they really do make
you feel like you’re in your own little magic bubble.

kulula.com

EXPLORE FAR-OUT DIGS Go bos in Bot River
or easy in Elgin
What’ll make you
smile? It’s a marvellous Green Mountain Trail
disappearing act getting This four-day guided gourmet slackpacking hike covers
here – beyond Elgin, down 60km and traverses Overberg wine estates that form
that roller-coasterish part of the world’s first biodiversity wine route within
Houwhoek Pass, across the Groenlandberg Conservancy. It’s relatively gentle,
railway tracks, onto gravel with four to five hours hiking per day (11km to 19km)
road, and into the Groenland and nights spent in four-star country lodges with food
Mountains where you need
high-profile tyres to reach and wine included.
your self-catering cocoon. greenmountaintrail.co.za
Inside, the lounge, kitchen,
bedroom and bathroom are Honingklip Brewery & Restaurant
marvellously interconnected. Outside, it’s hilly panoramas as far In Bot River, this homey brewery-on-a-farm crafts
as the eye can see. Belgian-inspired beers and enjoys a magnificent setting
OMG factor? The pods are not only chicly decorated, but each – you can ogle the enfolding mountaisn from the stoep
has a wood-fired hot tub to laze in as you gawk out across the where casual pub grub is served. The farm has MTB
reserve’s vast vista – a grey-green fynbos carpet stretching
towards the Babilonstoren Mountains looming under an tails and routes for 4X4ers, too.
endless sky. honingklip.co.za
What’s beyond the pod? To explore this unspoiled terrain you
hike through an undulating patchwork of 1 600 different plant Iona
species and make your way up and up for mind-melting views. Elgin’s highest estate and the Cape’s coolest vineyard
There’s a dam to swim in and a 3km circular walking path, or is set in a devastatingly beautiful location overlooking
you can use your stay here to recuperate from the excellent the Atlantic Ocean at 420m above sea-level. It’s utterly
multi-day Green Mountain Trail in the neighbouring Elgin Valley.
Who to take with? Just the one you love – might as well put chilled (as this picture below attests).
that hot tub to good use. iona.co.za
Not for you if… You’re craving a big fat post-lockdown party.
How deep are your pockets? From R2 150 per couple for a
Fynbos Pod. They’re often booked months in advance; put your
name on the waiting list in case of cancellations, though.
kolkol.co.za

18 DECEMBER 2020 Everson’s Cider Tasting Room
Industrial ciders are made from apple concentrate with
added flavourants, preservatives, and stabilisers. Everson
differs in that they ferment juice from freshly crushed
apples (and also pears) – they add nothing. The most
traditional cider they’ve crafted is ‘Gnarr’, made in the
style of English scrumpy – it’s essentially apple wine,
unpasteurised with no bubbles, rough but big on character.

eversoncider.com

kulula.com

FAR-OUT DIGS EXPLORE

Old Mac Daddy
Still one of the most audacious and unique countryside

hotels on the continent, it consists of 12 artistically-
decorated vintage Airstream caravans arranged into
a luxury hillside trailer park. There’s a pair of self-
catering villas, a tented camp, The Barn serving wood-

fired pizzas and wine from the region, and it has a
beach (pictured below) on the pretty little dam.
oldmacdaddy.co.za

Bodemloos Kombuis 2. Try trainspotting in Kruger
For honest local vibe this cool restaurant is an Elgin
Valley institution that opens on Friday evenings. It has Way before the pandemic, someone had the bonkers idea of
rolling grass lawns and a beautiful deck, and all the parking a reconditioned train on the Selati Bridge above the
locals end up going there. They serve pizzas, steaks Sabie River in Kruger National Park and installing a boutique
and a couple of specials. It’s vibe is really laid back and hotel. The wait is finally over: Kruger Shalati Train on a Bridge
is opening mid-December, with 24 handsome ‘carriage rooms’ in
chilled, and sometimes there’s live music. which you can literally sleep above the river, animals doing their
facebook.com/bodemlooskombuis thing down below.
OMG factor? One-of-a-kind concept and location aside, we love
Luddite the fact that there’s a plunge pool hovering off to one side, so you
In Bot River, this is one of those special farms where can take a dip in mid-air. Expect phenomenal sightings right from
your deck chair.
the winemaker believes in minimal interference What’ll make you smile? The finer details thanks to local
– it means that tastings can include considerable designers. You’ll notice Bonolo Chepape’s blankets adding flair
to the bedrooms (that’s one of hers pictured on the bed below);
philosophical analysis of what you’re drinking. and the bathrooms, with their huge panoramas, are set to
luddite.co.za break Instagram.
Not for you if… you need dry land beneath your feet. Although,
Terra Madre they do also have seven rooms in the ‘Bridge House’, where
children under 12 are also welcome.
At this family farm where organic veggies are grown, How deep are your pockets? For South Africans, the special
Nicole Precoudis produces cold-pressed apple and pear rate for stays between 14 December and 31 March is R4 950
per person sharing –
juice, and sells these, plus veggies and fruit from the included are all meals
Valley and a selection of other local products at her (dinner, breakfast, lunch,
afternoon tea, game
intimate farm stall. drive snacks, minibar),
terramadre.co.za one game drive, and
some beverages. They’ll
kulula.com even valet your car.
There’s also a bed and
breakfast only option,
of R3 750 per person.
.krugershalati.com

DECEMBER 2020 19

EXPLORE FAR-OUT DIGS

3. A kingdom in the sky 4. Sauvignon safari? Words: Keith Bain, Peter Frost, Pictures: Lizelle Lotter, Keith Bain, supplied

Bang in the centre of Lesotho, the rugged grasslands No, definitely not the Jurgens in Mossel Bay with
around the faraway mountain town of Semonkong could associated braaihout, Ventertjie trailer and skotel
be the moors of the Scottish Highlands – except that this so’s not to miss an episode of Binnelanders. The
high-altitude terrain is dotted much-anticipated tented camp at Boschendal is
with traditional rondawels very posh, a bespoke experience of fine dining, yoga
and criss-crossed by trails sessions, biking though the 300-year old wine estate
traversed by Basotho cowboys and lots of wine tasting. Tents? Seven fully serviced,
(and -girls) mounted atop sure- luxury suites, each far from its neighbour, high above
footed steeds. You meet these the farm, under the Simonsberg massif.
mountain people as you hike What’ll make you smile? The dawn chorus of birds
towards Maletsunyane Falls, from the deck is a revelation; the fynbos attracts a
southern Africa’s longest single veritable gang of ADHD sunbirds and the resident
drop waterfall which cascades malachite kingfishers make for entertaining dam-side
almost 200 metres down a theatre.
gigantic basalt cliff into a fury Craving nature? The tents are close to a large dam,
of white spray and ceaseless used in the old days for irrigation but now exclusively
thunder in the canyon below. for the use of guests.
The falls are best reached by Get up really early one
hiking (or riding) across the morning, take off all your
hills from Semonkong Lodge, kit and join the waterfowl
a stone-and-thatch retreat built on the banks of the for a splash and titter.
Maletsunyane River, just outside the town. Mountain behind you, sun
What’ll make you smile? The lodge offers a mix of cosy rising on a sweltering
cottages and circular rooms, plus good meals at its Duck Winelands day, not a soul
and Donkey Tavern, and staff arrange a host of activities, around. Priceless.
including a chance to test your mettle against the Not for you if…
world’s highest commercial abseil – a Guinness-certified fermented grapes,
204-metre drop alongside the waterfall. elegant dining,
OMG factor? Staff at the lodge can send you off on intoxicating vistas and
overnight pony rides with local guides who show you the fresh air are an abomination. That would be nobody.
true, raw Lesotho. With long hours in the saddle, it can be How deep are your pockets? R9 500 per tent, per
tough-going, with cold nights spent in basic huts, but a night. That includes all food and drinks, wine tasting,
wondrous experience nonetheless. hiking… and daily yoga. Of course it does. Now when
Not for you if… you’re in a hurry to arrive. It’s 110km from will it finally open? boschendal.com
Maseru along the Main South1 Road – it’s a three-hour
drive with some steep, curvaceous, staggeringly beautiful
mountain roads towards the end.
How deep are your pockets? R1 510 per double room.
.semonkonglodge.com

20 DECEMBER 2020 kulula.com

COLD WATER REVIVAL EXPLORE

Um, no, not Asking
like this. for a
friend
Howzit! I’m comedian Anne Hirsch
DECEMBER 2020 21
and you can probably tell I’m excited to be here. I’ve
been holding it in for over eight months, in fact. Eight
long months. I was all primped and ready to grace
khuluma ’s cover back in the before times. And then…
Well, we all know what happened.

Anyway, look at us! We’re back, and we’re beautiful. Although
you wouldn’t know it to look at us, because of all these face
masks.

I have one favour to ask, though. Please keep your mask on. For
the whole trip. And even when you leave the airport on the other
side, wear it in public. When you check into your hotel, when you
queue for a meal in that long-awaited restaurant-by-the-sea, and
when you get into an Uber or taxi or bus. And definitely when you
hit the mall. Oh, please wear it when you shop this festive season.

Yes, we know you know the drill. We all know the drill. And
maybe we’re tired of hearing the drill, but let’s rather not succumb
to fatigue. Because eventually we’ll get there. And one day we’ll
meet again and we’ll see each other in all our smiley-faced glory.
And we’ll remember our masked days. And we’ll remember why
we did it: Not just for our own sake, but for every one of us.

Have a great flight and make this holiday count!

kulula.com



ALONE ACROSS ANTARCTICA EXPLORE

Explorer Mike Horn talks
about the singular joy of

spending time alone

Solo I have never
felt alone
kulula.com in a tent…

I felt alone the first time I went to
London and was sitting in a pub full of
strangers. The pub was full of people
and I was sitting at the corner of the
bar and drinking a beer. I had just
left South Africa and I knew no-one
– that is when I felt alone. Loneliness
is a feeling we get when there are
people around you; loneliness is not
a feeling we get when we are alone
in a tent. Because, when you are in
that tent, locked down for the night
before another day spent in tough,
extreme conditions, journeying across
uncharted Antarctica, there is just so
much you look forward to, so much
that will happen the next day.

DECEMBER 2020 23

EXPLORE ALONE ACROSS ANTARCTICA

‘I have lived being utterly alone;
experienced it fully.’

There is so much that can go wrong and there is so I am actually looking for those moments because
much that you are going to discover about yourself – I have lived being utterly alone; I have experienced
and that’s what makes what I do so interesting. Even it fully. When I walked around the world above the
if I am at –40 degrees Celsius, crossing Antarctica on Arctic Circle for 808 days – that’s two years and three
my own, what I experience is not loneliness. It is life. months – I was utterly alone. When I swam down the
And every moment of it is interesting. Amazon for six months, I was alone. When I followed
the Equator around the world, I was alone for two
Essentially it comes down to this: when you are years. And when I crossed Antarctica, I was alone.
dealing with extreme conditions, it’s surviving that That’s where I want to be. That’s where I go and
becomes the most important thing to you. That’s when that’s why I’m going – because I want to have my
you forget about loneliness, about the fact of being mind to myself.
alone. Family, friends, having a car, your social status,
any sexual desires that you have, any anything and Going away from civilisation simply means you give
everything else just disappears, and all you need to your mind a little more time and the result is that
do is stay alive. That’s the kind of extreme focus that things that would usually take three months to do, out
kind of makes everything else fade away. Being alone on the ice will take three weeks to do. It’s easier to
means nobody is calling you, no alarm is set off, you develop an idea because you have all your time – there
have no meetings, you have nobody influencing your is nobody to take your attention away from it.
mind. Not for one second is your attention taken away
from what you are busy doing. Something I’ve realised is that people often tend
to look down instead of looking up. But in moments
When you walk in the street and somebody bumps of hardship and challenge, I force myself to look up
into you and calls you a bad name, your mind starts and see more light than darkness. In our normal lives
dealing with how some random guy’s invading your we tend not to do that because people around us
space. Or your phone rings. Or someone sends you sometimes force us to look down.
a message and you have to think about it… You’re
distracted and your mind is taken away from whatever Nature constantly feeds you with information that
you were doing or thinking about. We have all these you need to process. In difficult moments, as an
influences in our daily life so that we barely have time explorer, if you’re not aware of what’s happening
for ourselves. around you, your life can become very short. Those
moments are when I like being alone because in those
The reason so many people can’t live alone is moments I make the decisions and I like being the
because the moment they’re alone they suddenly conductor of my life. It sounds very selfish but that’s
feel like they have no importance. When you have no what needs to be done to get to the other side. And
phone calls or texts and when everything calms down then at the end of the day when I get back into the
and disappears and you find yourself alone – you don’t tent, there’s that moment of satisfaction. Wow! Look
know what to do with this time. what you’ve accomplished to stay alive another day.

24 D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0 kulula.com

ALONE ACROSS ANTARCTICA EXPLORE

‘Look up and
see more light’

kulula.com DECEMBER 2020 25

EXPLORE ALONE ACROSS ANTARCTICA

Not quite Earth ‘A place that is Interview: Keith Bain, Pictures: Dmitry Sharomov, Supplied
dead, where you
I often describe it like this: if you feel alive’
put a human being naked in Africa,
he can survive because there are Alone without a compass
plants and food and water. If you
take a naked human being and you ‘A blind man in the middle of Antarctica,’
put him in Antarctica, he will die. is how Mike Horn describes his situation
during his record-establishing journey
Another way I like to describe across the vast, white frozen desert.
Antarctica is as a place that is Because, he says, his proximity to the
dead, but where you feel alive. magnetic South Pole made his compass
needle spin freakishly. Horn’s 5 100km
Or imagine living on Earth the solo adventure across the White
day it was created. There’s pure Continent was undertaken on foot and
sky, no sound pollution, just crisp using a kite-ski – he began in December
clear light – and you have the 2016, after losing his wife. Published
ocean and the ice. It’s just wow, earlier this year, his book, Dream of a
such an alien environment. And Lifetime: Crossing Antarctica, details
when you have the sun, you have that journey and how he followed an
light 24 hours a day. That makes unexplored route across the world’s most
this hostile environment liveable inhospitable continent. And, of course,
because with the sun you can melt how he managed to do it entirely alone.
the ice to have water to drink. And From Jonathan Ball Publishers.
you can kite-ski across the surface
and cover massive distances kulula.com
because of the wind. Survival and
exploration is about finding the
opportunities in a place that offers
few opportunities for people who
do not know how to look.

I always tell people that
Antarctica is like a door that you
have to open. Once that door
is open, it allows you in but it
won’t allow you out. Once you’re
in, you’ve got to make sure that
you survive to open that door for
yourself if you want to get out.
Because Antarctica isn’t going to
open that door for you. There’s
no freeway through. It’s a one-
way street. When I engaged with
Antarctica – when that boat dropped
me off – it was a Rubicon moment,
a point of no return. The boat leaves
and there you are. Alone.

26 D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0

MOVING GIANTS EXPLORE

At conservation’s cutting edge, translocation is rife
with risk. Split-second decisions can have life or
death consequences. Nicci Collier joins a mission
to rescue 16 elephants from certain death – and
discovers why the world’s best rescuers still have
sleepless nights before a big move

kulula.com DECEMBER 2020 27

EXPLORE MOVING GIANTS

i t’s 6am, I think, but there’s no need for coffee. A potion of adrenaline and mild terror
courses through my veins instead, doing the trick just fine. The vet is sitting on the
back of a Jeep, loading up darts, each a tiny weapon with enough power to take down
one of nature’s great giants. We gather around and Kester Vickery, one of the world’s
leading wildlife relocation authorities, yells final instructions to us. ‘Stay in the vehicles
until it’s safe. If an elephant has not gone down correctly, our team will push it over.’
(Obviously no-one wants to end up on the wrong side of that endeavour.)

‘Also, do not touch the area of skin that’s been darted,’ he adds.
A human life doesn’t stand much chance against M99, the immobilising drug in each
dart – a lethal opioid, 10 000 times (yes, really) stronger than human-grade morphine.
The roar of a helicopter climbing into the morning air threatens to drown out Vickery’s
voice as he tries to offer solace: someone on the team will be carrying an antidote, if you
can get to them in time.

*I recall last night’s briefing. We’d arrived at Atherstone just in time to see the inky night

sky veil the last of the grenadine glow on the horizon. In time to pick a tent, devour a boma
braai, and sit through a breakdown of the mission at hand. Atherstone National Park (it’s
protected land but not open to the general public, if you’re wondering why Kruger gets all
the attention) can support 36 elephants, but at the time of the briefing has over 130 gentle
giants inadvertently wreaking havoc on the ecosystem with their appetites and tree-
toppling. Most South African wildlife areas prevent animals from migrating when there

28 D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0 kulula.com

MOVING GIANTS EXPLORE

are too many of them, since they are fenced in and surrounded by a sea of humanity. The
options include moving or culling the animals, according to Esté Smith, managing director
of Elephants, Rhinos & People (ERP), the NGO behind the funding and logistics of this
relocation. ‘Our interventions are designed to ensure that culling can be avoided. The life
of every elephant counts,’ says Smith.

Our mission is to relocate 16 of Atherstone’s elephants to new homes in the Eastern
Cape: to Buffalo Kloof near Grahamstown and Mount Camdeboo Private Game Reserve – a
swathe of unrealistically beautiful rewilded agricultural land in the Great Karoo.

Of course, moving living giants across vast distances isn’t easy.
‘The helicopter does a huge amount of work… it’s phenomenal flying,’ says Dereck
Milburn, director of ERP at the time, and responsible for coordinating the relocation
mission. ‘Tomorrow the pilot is Koen de Jager… only specific pilots can fly elephants.’
Vickery is at the briefing too. He’s also done this a few times, having moved more than
1 600 elephants and a couple thousand rhinos in the last 20 years. His organisation,
Conservation Solutions, recently took on a project to move 200 elephants from Venetia
Limpopo Nature Reserve to Mozambique’s Zinave National Park, over 1 700km away.

*Since, unlike Noah we don’t have some species-saving miracle to get the animals

marching into the trucks two by two, we’ll be darting today. It’s a nerve-wracking
exercise, the vet dangling precariously out the helicopter with his dart gun, working with
the pilot to separate a family group from the herd – they stay as a unit

kulula.com DECEMBER 2020 29

EXPLORE MOVING GIANTS

CRITICAL MISSION as they flee the noisy helicopter. The success of the PRECIOUS CARGO
translocation relies on this; the elephants won’t settle The pilot and vet fly in
‘The Eastern Cape used to unless moved in a cohesive family group. Each dart close to the herd to dart
be teeming with elephants,’ contains just enough M99 for the individual target, each family member (top);
says ERP project manager, Ida depending on size, which must all be quickly calculated as the elephants go down,
Hansen. ‘Archaeological finds from the air – big decisions on the fly, so to speak. In the team rushes in to
of tusks, molars, skulls order to bring in the recovery trucks, and save time check their vitals (below);
and bones have been found with administering the reversal drug, the elephants the animals are lifted into
throughout the region. must come down in a small area – sometimes it’s mere custom-built crates with
seconds between darts fired, flying in close to the cranes (above)
Elephants are depicted in animals, barely above the treetops.
rock paintings and engravings.
Written historical accounts by ‘The secret is to start with the matriarch,’ explains
Europeans tell tales of elephant Vickery. ‘You dart her first and then she anchors the
sightings and encounters. group in an area where we can hopefully work. Then
as quickly as possible you dart the next biggest, all the
Names of towns and areas way down to the smallest animal. It’s chaotic in the air,
incorporate various forms of the the pilot and the vet have lots of chitty chatter between
word “olifant”.’ them trying to work out who to get to, where to turn,
which animal next. We hope that within between 10 and
Since Mount Camdeboo’s 15 minutes we have a whole family group immobilised
inception in 1995, the owners and on the ground, ready for recovery.
have relentlessly torn down
farm fences and reintroduced ‘The ground team have to be there within instants
wildlife to the area, in order to to make sure the animals are all stable,’ says Vickery.
restore it to pristine wilderness. ‘Quite often they’ll stand on each other’s trunks, they’ll
lie on each other, fall in dongas. There are so many
‘The longer-term vision things that can go wrong, so the ground team needs to
is dropping fences and to be close at the time.’
ultimately develop corridors
to the national parks – the *It’s now all hands on deck. The experts push over any
Camdeboo National Park
and the Mountain Zebra elephants that have fallen in a crouched position – their
National Park,’ explains Mount body weight can crush their lungs if they’re not lying on
Camdeboo’s Iain Buchanan, their sides. And the rest of us swoop in: placing a twig
who was recently invited to into a trunk to keep the ‘nostrils’ open while the trunk’s
sit on a panel of experts on
the subject of rewilding at the
World Travel Market (WTM) at
the CTICC.

Part of the region’s Mountain
Zebra Protected Environment
(which was the forerunner in
reestablishing wildlife corridors
through the Karoo), Mount
Camdeboo has, over the last
year, introduced elephants and
lions to the property for the first
time in 200 years, rewilding this
magnificent corner of the Great
Karoo with the big five once
more. newmarkhotels.com

30 D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0 kulula.com

MOVING GIANTS EXPLORE

40 000 muscles are out of into the trucks.’ The first one I watch gives me the
action. Other tasks assigned creeps. 'Are those straps strong enough?' I wonder
to us non-experts include internally. Are they properly secured?
measuring a tusk; placing
a hand against leathery, ‘Do not stand under the elephant!’ Vickery yells.
wrinkled skin, covered with
spiky, wiry hairs, to ensure *In the trucks, the reversal drug is administered and
breath is moving in and out
of the lungs; wrapping a tape the benign beasts begin to stir. This moment is not
measure around a muddy foot; without stress either. One matriarch is so large that
and using an enormous ear to shield as she tries to stand, she can’t manage, pressed
an eye from the sun. And, yes, we’re told, against the container on both sides. If she keeps
‘you can sit on them if you like, to check slipping and doesn’t have enough room to stand, she
they’re breathing’. might not survive the stress of trying. The anxious
team tells of one elephant who didn’t make it. But
In come the trucks, bashing through the brush for today, we wrap a strong strap around a tusk and
the recovery. ‘Recovery’ entails lifting the elephants manage to help pull her to her feet using the crane.
into the air. With a crane. By their feet. If you’ve never
seen an elephant hanging upside down, its trunk and It’s a slow and steady 24-hour road trip to Mount
tail hanging limply towards the ground, its bulky body Camdeboo, where half a dozen of the ellies are
distorted downwards by the sheer weight of it, then being taken. If you think kids causing
you’re in for a bit of a shock. a ruckus in the back of the station wagon
is irksome, try an elephant. Or six. The
‘It’s quite a tough sight to see,’ Milburn had warned. biggest problem isn’t so much the
‘But it is a proven best method of loading elephants. It noise they make – it’s quite fun really
doesn’t hurt them, and they’ve loaded 1 600 elephants if they trumpet as an unsuspecting
like this with no problems. They will be strapped by pedestrian walks past the truck and
the feet, [lifted] by crane and then hoisted directly nearly levitates with fright.
Padkos? They do eat up to 160kg
kulula.com a day. But no… they’ll make the long
journey without food or water. (I was
mildly horrified by this, but the elephant
expert approves. Apparently they can
go four days without water.) And since the

pachyderms haven’t been potty trained, loo breaks
aren’t required either – except for the caffeine-fuelled
drivers, who’re driving through the night. No, no, the
biggest problem is the ellies leaning against the sides
when stopped. It’d be terribly tricky to right a container
full of live elephant if the leaning inadvertently tippled
a truck. One of the matriarchs we’ve loaded weighed
in at a hefty three-and-a-half tonnes, so you can
just imagine…

Yes, it’s ill-advised to drive for 24 hours straight,
without resting, I know. But toppled elephants don’t
seem a good alternative, and they’re very well-behaved
when the trucks are on the move, so on the move we
remain. Besides, we have 1 173km to cover. And a lot of
people have paid a lot of money (like, in-the-millions-

DECEMBER 2020 31

EXPLORE MOVING GIANTS

of-rands a lot) to get this cargo to the other side safely. ellies lay eyes on this landscape for the first time. The Pictures: Iain Buchanan, Nicci Collier, Daviid Swanepoel, Ida Hansen
It’s all part of The Great Elephant Migration Project, Sensational Six take their tentative inaugural steps into
a two-year ERP programme in the Eastern Cape to their new home, and the team sheds tears of joy (and
repopulate elephants in their former range, establishing perhaps relief). ‘These are the first elephants on the
viable breeding populations and preventing culling in property in 200 years,’ says Buchanan who is evidently
overpopulated reserves. on a mission. ‘Our long-term goal is to try and be a
catalyst for change in rewilding a piece of the Great
Our car, with Mount Camdeboo’s Iain Buchanan at Karoo. To protect and preserve it for future generations,’
the wheel, and no cargo in the back, doesn’t make it he says. Since his father, Logie Buchanan, purchased
sleepless through the night. We are first-time elephant the properties making up the 14 000-hectare reserve in
rescuers after all. We resort to a few hours at 1995, the family has worked to ‘convert what was once
the ‘no frills, no fuss’ Tsogo Sun SUN1 in Bloemfontein. farmland back into pristine wilderness.’
Compared to last night’s lodgings, it’s luxury. There are
no spiders in the shower. And there is a towel, so I don’t The first six ellies won’t be the last, either… it won’t
have to dry myself with a dishcloth tonight. I can sleep be long before Harry, a ‘problem elephant’ who escaped
in one layer of clothing instead of donning my entire an Eastern Cape game reserve – twice – is rescued from
suitcase to survive the cold. Bloemfontein can get cold, certain death by the team and joins the family at Mount
but last night, in a tent, near the Botswana border, was Camdeboo. You can tell humans to stay at home for
completely unforgiving. their own good, but Harry and co. tend to go where they
want – or at least try to. And a few months later, one
The trajectory of exponentially improving of the females will give birth to the first baby elephant
accommodations continues at Mount Camdeboo, born on this land in centuries.
where we’re shown the usual royal treatment afforded
guests at this Karoo jewel. Tucked in the mountainous Tonight though, there’s plenty to celebrate as we dine
Camdeboo region, the reserve is stupefyingly deliciously under a star-spattered Karoo sky, before
scenic. And my digs are a far cry from bedding down in four-poster beds, imagining
a tent or basic SUN1 room. the time when herds of ‘trekbokke’
(springbok) – hundreds of thousands
*But being swaddled in luxury of them, kilometres thick – thundered
through this landscape in one of Africa’s
isn’t why I’m here. As the great migration spectacles.
elephant family is reunited and A time when elephants weren’t just
the containers are opened, the refugees, but owned this land.

32 D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0 kulula.com

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EXPLORE GO OFF-GRID

Bush
tactics

Our writers go off-grid

Full-heart safari

A walking safari isn’t about ticking off a checklist of crucial sightings, but about bearing witness
to life in all its weird and wonderful diversity. Keith Bain goes off-grid on a Big Five reserve at
the southern end of the Garden Route

It’s infectious. Being in the bush with people who love leopards, elephants and rhinos, plus buffalo and
being in nature so much that their souls yearn for it giraffe and antelope aplenty. With nights spent at
when they’re away from it. This is how it was for the three different glamping sites, each slickly designed
days and nights spent on the Pioneer Trail at Gondwana to evoke the spirit of frontier camping, we spent
Game Reserve near Mossel Bay. our days trailing behind Marc and Tuhan who were
armed for our safety. We walked in single file and
We were hiking with Tuhan Steyn and Marc Albertyn, stopped often to rest or talk about what we saw. And
two of the loveliest rangers you could hope to meet at night, we slunk into our big en suite tents imbued
in the bush – or anywhere, for that matter. Tuhan is a with gorgeous outdoor showers, and the fattest, most
rascally, ginger-bearded bush fanatic who must have a comfortable mattresses on which you will ever sleep
bit of Viking blood in him; Marc’s love of the wild is in his in the bush.
DNA – his grandfather was single-handedly responsible
for saving the Cape mountain zebra. It wasn’t simply Each morning, after I’d lain in bed listening to a wild
that they were doing their job of getting us safely symphony of twittering birds and buzzing insects,
from point A to point B, but that their souls came alive baboons calling to one another somewhere in the
when they were out there, immersed in an unfettered background, I frolicked in my outdoor shower and then
landscape, surrounded by fynbos and undulating hills watched dawn crack through the sky and illuminate the
and vertical mountains and – somewhere – lions and enfolding terrain.

34 DECEMBER 2020 kulula.com

CLOCKWISE FROM GO OFF-GRID EXPLORE
LEFT: Part-Viking
guide Tuhan Steyn; Glamping at Gondwana
giraffe at dusk;
Marc Albertyn with The Gondwana Pioneer Trail runs over four
creepy-crawly; the days, with each of three nights spent in
tents come with a different tented camp. The campsites,
fat mattresses set up with just four tents each, are
marvellously hidden away, exaggerating
Coffee was brewed on the fire and the sense of isolation, heightening the
there was a casual breakfast before feeling of being in purest wilderness. It
we set off on a drive across arduous, works a treat.
rugged terrain that took us to the
starting point for the day’s hike, While we were tucked away in the bush,
destined to last 10km or so. off-grid and beyond the realm of Google
updates and all the latest (bad) news, we
On hikes such as this, you don’t were spoiled from start to finish. If we’d
set off to necessarily walk up to been looking for rough, rustic camping,
lions and leopards, although that this wasn’t it. From the wine offered on
possibility always exists. It’s more arrival, to the 4X4 transfers to our first
about learning about things that you camp, to the drives that took us to the start
might otherwise never have noticed. At Gondwana, much of each day’s walk, and the full bar service
of this involves the astonishing array of cleverly adapted and after-dinner soirees in the tented
fynbos plants. It’s an immaculate floral garden where lounges, this was first-class glamping
ericas and pretty pelargoniums and thought-to-be-extinct without ever losing that close-to-the-earth
spider orchids catch your attention. Where one minute camping sensation.
you’re hoofing it across an empty plain and the next find
yourself in a veritable forest of proteas. The tents are pretty audacious, too, with
seriously awesome mattresses on proper
And, of course, there was the treat of chancing beds to ensure you get an amazing night’s
upon pockets of animals: eland performing seemingly rest after the hard slog on the trails. We
choreographed routines across the horizon; rhinos had electricity or solar power, gas-heated
hoovering up the grass; impala bolting across the hot water, full-on bathrooms (with slipper
plain, startled by a renegade springbuck named Rambo tubs) and loads of thoughtful touches.
who’d been evicted from his herd and now thinks he’s Meals were themed, too, and for each day’s
an impala. hike we carried a supplied backpack with
snacks and water and lunch for the many
Of course, the real joy of walking in the bush like this stops along the way. gondwanagr.co.za
is how the experience frees up your mind, liberates you
from all the day-to-day gunk and gloom, from deadline
pressure and the news updates. Walking is a great healer
and walking in nature even more so. It declutters and
unclogs. Without all the usual distractions, you
become rewired.

kulula.com DECEMBER 2020 35

EXPLORE GO OFF-GRID

Knock-knock I was overjoyed the first time I saw a tok-tokkie
beetle actually execute a perfect headstand (to catch
Getting lost in the Namib dunes sound the morning fog moisture on its back legs, we were
like fun? Well, it’s unlikely, but you can informed) – it’s such a delight to watch, it might have
pretend, says Peter Frost of the time he you rolling in the dunes with laughter. If not, the cool
did just that little knock-knock dance to attract a mate might just
send you guffawing through the desert.
With Tok Tokkie Trails in Namibia’s NamibRand
Reserve, you’re led into the desert where an able There were similar delights every moment of every
team will set up camp, feed you and send you off day. A sidewinder climbing a dune, the cooling breeze
to bed with just a blanket of stars as a roof. on your face at three in the morning, the taste of fresh
coffee at dawn in the desert – there’s quite a bit of awe
You’ll only get lost if you ignore the very capable over every dune.
guides, wander off counting barking geckos, tok-tokkie
beetles or sidewinder adders. I can plead guilty, since A three-day hike into the NamibRand will restore
it did indeed happen to me. I blame the infinitude your faith in pretty much everything – people, nature,
of wonder I beheld, and the desire to capture these silence, laughter, simplicity, the connectedness of
creatures on camera. things. That you can do something like this without
joining the French Foreign Legion and can have
Despite getting, um, sidetracked, the trail is likely the someone friendly cart all your kit around for you, is an
most memorable three days I’ve ever spent in my life: added bonus. If physical exertion isn’t your thing, then
walking through the desert garden, stories everywhere, perhaps you might want to stay away; however, while
ancient landscapes, excellent dinners around there’s a fair amount of walking, stops are frequent
a table, comfy stretcher beds in a bedroll with a pillow and the pace is pedestrian, so even the exercise-
and duvet and even a hot-water bottle when it got a phobic can potentially endure. toktokkietrails.com
little bit chilly, all serviced and laid out.

Even your daily pack is carried for you. And it was
reassuring to know that the quiet confidence of the
hiking guide came from years spent in a landscape like
this. And, happily, no question was too stupid; not even,
memorably, ‘will I be able to see a penguin today?’
That one is not attributable to me. But you know how
Americans can be.

CLOCKWISE FROM LEFT
NamibRand's infinitude of
space; alfresco sleeping;
a tok-tokkie

36 DECEMBER 2020 kulula.com

GO OFF-GRID EXPLORE

Breaking the rules

From digging for water to sniffing out clues in a mound of dung,
Hlengiwe Magagula learns how to flout Kruger’s first rule

Pictures: Keith Bain, Supplied I was a little giddy, filled with apprehension about is sourced by scooping a hole in the sand and
the fact that we’d soon be breaking the first rule of adding a dash of purifier.
safari, which is to stay in your vehicle. Anyone who
has visited Kruger National Park knows that rule, After an hour’s walk, we got our first view of the
and all but the seriously stupid tend to stick to it. river, a deep section sheltering dozens of hippos
from the strengthening sun. After a couple of years
But sometimes you get full permission to break of poor rain in the region, the river was barely
that rule, such as when you’re on a dedicated flowing. It seeped, trickled, endured; and yet still
walking safari with an armed ranger. it created a green corridor of life. On the Olifants’
banks, nature was thriving: storks and spoonbills,
It’s the first day of four on foot in Kruger, and solitary fish eagles and little flocks of green
our little group was already one down. A lady pigeons; raucous Egyptian geese sharing pools
has phoned to cancel at the last minute. Our with stealthy crocodiles. Elephants materialised in
guide, François, was disappointed. ‘If I’d had the the middle distance, then melted away.
chance to talk to her, I’d have changed her mind,’
he speculated. On the first day, we only walked for three or four
hours. The pace dial was set for enjoyment, not
The people who sign up for Kruger’s Backpacking endurance, and there was consensus on the best
Trails tend to be the curious types, so there are time and place to make camp. For François, the
frequent excuses for a pause and a query. Who – key was picking a place where it was safe to dip in
or what, rather – made that track? Is that burrow the river.
occupied? What’s that strange call?
The second day was much like the first; the third
A pile of rhino dung is not something to step like the second. It’s hard to remember now which
over, but something to break up and analyse: neatly day we saw the eagle owl, or when exactly we ate
sheared twigs show it came out of a black rhino – lunch while sitting at a little waterfall. But does
they prefer to feed on branches while their white it matter?
cousins are grass grazers. François says he loves
the questions; even after over half a century in the These days, we are all a little spoiled by the
bush, he says he’s still learning. From a vehicle, this drama of nature documentaries and videos shared
part of Kruger is a blur of mopane forest in shades on YouTube. In reality, when you casually walk
of brown. But on foot, the complexity is revealed, through the wilderness, there’s little chance
and by the end – with the help of a tree specialist in of seeing lions doing battle with buffalo, or a
the group – we’d counted nearly 40 types, including cheetah tackling a giraffe. But leaving your vehicle
magnificent figs and the glossy Natal mahogany. behind opens up an experience that might not
make good TV, but certainly connects us to our
The trail we were on was a step up in intensity ancestors, from the time humans first walked
from the hugely popular Kruger Wilderness Trails. in Africa. Whether you’re scrutinising a leopard
As the name hints, the difference is that walkers print – teasing out the clues that tell you whether
carry everything needed for four days in the bush, it’s fresh or days old – or lying beneath the stars
including tent, stove and food. One of three trails playing ‘guess the sound’, time unshackled from
in the northern part of Southern Africa’s greatest the vehicle is wondrous indeed. sanparks.org
park, Olifants follows the eponymous river, so water

kulula.com DECEMBER 2020 37

EXPLORE COLD WATER REVIVAL

Utter nutter? Chilling
No, he’s a soul man with a

cold-water
guru

Pippa de Bruyn
is reborn in the
icy Atlantic

Deep freeze, full-thaw... kulula.com

the cold is life-changing. First, there is the physical shock as you plunge in:
an involuntary gasp and peripheral vasoconstriction experienced as a near-
painful tingling across your skin. An ache that settles in the wrists. As arms go
numb in cold’s vice grip I visualise my life-energy as a radiant flame, the heat
emanating from my core as the body restricts blood flow to the extremities.

Within five minutes, a bizarre elation will set in. In 20 minutes, I will emerge
frozen; unable to move my fingers, fumble-dressing before the ‘after-drop’
sets in: an intense shivering as cool blood from limbs and skin returns to the
core. But the endorphin hit is strong and will remain with me for hours. It is
why I am here, every day, since my first immersion in the icy Atlantic more
than a month ago. What started off as preparation for freediving the Cape
kelp forest with naturalist Craig Foster has become a kind of addiction. ‘Some
might call it an addiction,’ agrees Foster who dives daily into the swaying kelp
forests, wearing nothing but a swimming costume, mask, hoodie and flippers.
‘But it’s a good addiction.’

38 D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0

COLD WATER REVIVAL EXPLORE

I have always loved the ocean, but hated the cold. I That first day, I lasted three minutes in the open Atlantic
dislike the condom-like constraints of a wetsuit, and did before traipsing over to the Camps Bay tidal pool where
not enjoy dependence on a tank in my one-off ‘Discover the still waters allowed me to focus on conquering the cold
Scuba’ experience. The dangerous, frigid waters of the without fear of currents. I proceeded from cold to numb; no
Atlantic, associated with shipwrecks and great whites, held shivering. When I finally emerged, 26 minutes had passed;
little appeal. And then you browse Netflix and catch this an hour later I was still shaking uncontrollably, unable
documentary about a man’s friendship with a mollusc. In to concentrate. ‘Take it easy,’ I heard Foster’s voice. ‘Be
My Octopus Teacher, filmmakers chart Foster’s relationship careful.’ All it takes for hypothermia to set in is a drop in core
with a common octopus, something which sparked an temperature of 1.5 degrees.
immense underwater transformation for him. But what
piqued my curiosity most was that Foster dives without a Foster returned to the Cape coast in 2010, burnt out and
wetsuit or tank, citing the essential freedom of entering the overweight, unable to sleep and in pain. By most measures he
ocean on the same level as the creatures living in it, as our was a success, having garnered more than 60 international
ancestors had done for centuries. awards during three decades of documentary filmmaking. But
Foster felt deeply disconnected and depressed. Recalling the
When I contacted Foster for an interview he kindly agreed carefree joy that swimming in the wild gave him as a child, he
to take me into the forest, and prescribed my habituation as made a commitment to swim in the ocean 365 times a year,
follows: I was to go into the ocean as often as possible. Get for 10 years. It took Foster a year to adapt to the cold; by the
out as soon as I started to shiver. Time the duration. Then second year, he felt his immune system strengthen and his
try to stay in a little longer the next time. ‘But take it easy,’ mind clear.
he said. ‘Be careful.’

Join the crusade

To hasten attempts to get the Cape’s kelp forest declared a
UNESCO World Heritage Site, Craig Foster – together with
journalists, filmmakers, divers, naturalists and scientists
– has created Sea Change Project. It aims to bring greater
awareness to this vital but vulnerable ecosystem, under
threat from over-fishing and pollution. Their work includes
My Octopus Teacher, a Netflix documentary detailing
Foster’s year-long relationship with a common octopus
he befriended during his kelp forest dives. That’s Foster
with the octopus pictured above, and pictured left is the
kind of scene those who dare to brave these cold waters
get to see – an unparalleled alien world filled with wonder.
seachangeproject.com

kulula.com DECEMBER 2020 39

EXPLORE COLD WATER REVIVAL

Trial by cold swimming past tall individual stripes; fish flit below, spiny Pictures: Tom Foster, Ross Frylinck, Faine Loubser, Craig Foster; all pictures courtesy of Sea Change Project
starfish are scattered across the ocean bed. I feel
We meet on a perfect morning, talking as we walk the an upwelling of contentment as I glide, borrowed fins
500 metres from his home to the seashore. I am vaguely propelling me forward with powerful grace. When we
nervous, intimidated by the easy strength Foster exudes. reach the granite boulders Foster shows me how to grasp
At the shoreline, he drops his flippers and masks and the kelp and, simian-like, pull myself down. What looks fairly
engages in a brief but impressive stretching routine. innocuous above the water line – an array of limpets, whelks,

I gamely emulate him for a few minutes before giving mussels, barnacles – is an underwater
up, emotions plummeting. What am I doing here, an unfit, kaleidoscope of colours: multi-coloured
flabby 52-year-old with zero flexibility, wasting the time lichens; neon anemones; purple urchins;
of the kelp forest guru? I cannot wait for this to be over the pink-tipped open mouths of sea
so that I can wrap my shame into my wet swimming squirts. Foster takes me deeper into
costume and be on my way. an underground cave – protected from
predators, the arena is teeming with life,
Telling me to keep my arms still to create as little the probing light of his torch turning the
disturbance as possible, he slips off the boulder, graceful scene into an aquatic nightclub. Taking
as an otter. me by the hand, he swims me through,
emerging jubilant on the other side
Immediately I am in, I relax. It is a mild 15 degrees; the before making our way to the giant limpet
ocean is still and visibility fairly good. We are floating gardens, each limpet tending to its
in the shallows, surrounded by dense kelp; below me is own rock.
what I assume is a rockfish – frilling its fins in the current, Throughout the swim, Foster is solicitous about the cold.
it gazes up, unfazed by our passing. I follow closely as When we finally pull ourselves out onto the shore, an hour
Foster makes his way to a large outcrop of boulders some has passed. We have seen thousands upon thousands of
50 metres offshore. The forest thins out until we are species, Foster tells me, ‘many of them not even documented;
a lifetime of discovery.’ I am elated; incredulous: to think that
TOP TO BOTTOM I have spent my life oblivious to this wild wonderland hiding
Filming My Octopus just beneath the roiling surface. How blind the incurious.

Teacher; a blue
dragon, or sea
swallow; swimming
with a broadnose
sevengill shark

40 D E C E M B E R 2 0 2 0 kulula.com

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LIFE-CHANGING DESIGN DISCOVER

DISCOVER

People. Ideas. Things.

Words: Keith Bain, Picture: George Gibbens and Undesign Human protection

‘If you understand the problem well
enough, the solution comes quite
easily,’ says industrial designer George
Gibbens, whose company, Undesign,
undertook to offer its services free
of charge to projects relating to the
COVID-19 outbreak. Gibbens says
the more time he spends on
researching a problem and
fully understanding it, the
more he finds himself
itching to get his ideas out
on paper and the project
fully designed. He’s full
of smart, revolutionary
ideas and is committed
to enhancing human
life. His designs have
included a washing
machine for people in
communities where
electricity and running
water aren’t available,
and a sensory enhancing
headset designed for use by
the visually impaired.
During lockdown, Gibbens
came up with the io Mask which has a

transparent front panel. The sci-fi aesthetic
isn’t to make it look futuristic but rather to reduce
wearer alienation which often comes from conventional
masks that hide facial expressions. undesign.co.za

44 46 51Please use your inner voice
Faux fashion? Cooking the books

kulula.com DECEMBER 2020 43

DISCOVER SUMMER FOR INTROVERTS

I THINK I'M A

LONER NOW

44 DECEMBER 2020 Introvert
Bianca Coleman
faces the summertime
crush and dispels a

few myths in
the process

kulula.com

SUMMER FOR INTROVERTS DISCOVER

Pictures: istock.com/ Cofeee ecember is the most exciting translate to being shy. In fact, we introverts adore top-
month of the year. It contains quality one-on-one conversations. But please, please
parties for all ages, it has don’t put us on the spot in front of a bunch of strangers.
sunshine, year-end bonuses ‘Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come’ is an introvert’s
if you’re lucky, as well as refrain. It’s also the title of a book by Jessica Pan, who
Christmas and New Year’s decided to spend a year living like an extrovert – going
Eve, and many, many tourists so far as to take up improv and stand-up comedy. It’s a
and visitors swarming all over true horror story.
the place. What’s not to love?
For an introvert, pretty much Meryl Streep is a self-proclaimed introvert and uses
everything. Except that bonus. visualisation to push through situations out of her
Extroverts, conversely, are in their element: it’s loud, comfort zone. ‘I’m much more of an introvert [than my
noisy, crowded, chaotic. Wide-eyed and fuelled by too mother],’ she says. ‘I’m much more inclined to want
much sugar (children) and too much alcohol (hopefully to not say anything in public. I love being by myself,
not children), they ping and bounce around like they’re love being outdoors, love taking a long walk with my
inside a pinball machine, ricocheting from one high- dogs and looking at the trees, flowers, the sky… I’d be
energy activity to another. It’s bright, colourful, exciting perfectly happy if I spent Saturday night until Monday
and stimulating. Introverts, meanwhile, find it draining morning alone.’
and exhausting; an ‘introvert hangover’ is a real thing.
It’s what happens after too much ‘peopling’ because Albert Einstein famously said: ‘The monotony and
introverts revel in the gentler side of life and need to solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind’
‘recharge’ after participating in the extroverts’ world. and Elon Musk refers to himself as ‘basically like
Let’s clear up a few myths here. Introverts and an introverted engineer’. He admits it took a lot of
extroverts are often viewed in terms of two extreme practice and effort to be able to go up on stage and
opposites, and it can frequently seem that way, not stammer.
whichever side of the fence you’re on. Who hasn’t said
to someone ‘you’re so quiet!’? Who hasn’t groaned Well, he wanted to be a CEO, so he can suck it up.
inwardly and muttered ‘use your inside voice, please!’? While we crave tranquillity, we don’t hate society, nor
The truth is, most of us fall somewhere in the middle: people, in general. Not really (mainly it’s the mouth-
ambiverts who can be lively and animated – in the right breathers who don’t respect our personal space when
environment – but who also like a healthy dose of we’re in the checkout at Pick n Pay). You can be certain
‘me-time’. Being an introvert who avoids small talk an introvert has already researched all the available
and prefers observing rather than taking part in the delivery services and online retailers as they consider
nightmare of ‘let’s go around the room and each not stepping out the front door until February.
say something about ourselves’ doesn’t necessarily Lockdown certainly gave us every excuse.

kulula.com DECEMBER 2020 45

DISCOVER FASHION’S UPSTARTS

Mart-Marié du Toit
takes a stroll down the
catwalks where trends

are shattered

46 DECEMBER 2020 kulula.com

Thebe Magugu FASHION’S UPSTARTS DISCOVER
Floyd Avenue
Floyd Avenue

t is an exciting time for global fashion, with DECEMBER 2020 47
sustainability, cultural sensitivity and transparency in
design being discussed alongside calls by Extinction Rebellion,
amongst others, for fashion weeks (and the polluting fashion
system by association) to be scrapped. Designers are being forced
to rethink their design ethos, the fabrics they use and the miles
they are travelling to various fashion weeks for fear of getting a
hiding from climate change protestors. Because, as we all know, it
just takes one bucket of red paint on a fur coat to inflame global media.
In South Africa, a few renegade designers are opting to cut their cloth
against the grain. They are following in the footsteps of designers such
as Marianne Fassler and Clive Rundle, veterans who were breaking the
rules and consequently taking the lead way back in the 1980s. At one
point, everyone was screaming at Fassler to stop using leopard print
and to tone down her love affair with African prints. But she stubbornly
refused to succumb to mainstream pressure and she – perhaps more
than anyone else at the time – liberated fashion from convention. Along
with Rundle, she created what was essentially an anti-fashion movement,
her Leopard Frock brand becoming iconic despite its ongoing ability to
encapsulate otherness.
And, of course, these early rule-breakers inspired countless designers
who’ve followed.

New kids on the block

The early 2000s saw the blossoming of the Smarteez, a sub-culture in
Soweto started by Floyd Avenue, Kepi Mngomezulu, Thabo Tsatsinyane
and Sibu Sithole that brought township street style to the catwalk. This
popular DIY-design collective refused to be burdened by apartheid’s
awful legacy or by social expectations of dress. The Smarteez scorned
‘popular fashion’ to create a new look for Soweto, one that defied
expectations and became a platform for those keen to ruffle the
feathers of the conservative world.

kulula.com

DISCOVER FASHION’S UPSTARTS

Thebe Magugu Like the now-iconic Versace safety-pin
Viktor & Rolf dress that Liz Hurley wore in 1994, fashion

Their street style Floyd Avenue wants to stir up emotion. And there’s a
came with an African edge slew of fashion designers who are pushing
– a traditional Zulu headdress,
against what the establishment deems
paired with lime green skinny jeans aesthetically pleasing. Enter ugly fashion.
and a sharply tailored mauve jacket with
periwinkle trim. Or a plain white button- There’s been a wave of it over the last
down shirt dressed up with an oversized couple of years, and there are three main
magenta bow tie. This was technicolor couture, drivers. The first is quite self-explanatory:
created for the so-called post-apartheid Clothing that simply fulfils the need for
‘Rainbow Generation’, pushing against their
elders’ expectations of traditional dress. comfort. Can you even sit in some of
Our new wave of fashion disruptors thinks the outfits waltzing down the catwalk?
about more than just the design strutting
along the catwalk. Take Thebe Magugu, for Probably not. Ugly fashion bypasses
example, who might just be the king of South catwalk lavishness in favour of practicality
African fashion right now. He won the 2019 LVMH Prize
for emerging talent. He is the first African designer to be and functionality.
awarded the prize, the most lucrative in the industry. But there is also a kind of creative politics
His collections make bold political statements, without a at play. Many young designers are acting on
slogan tee in sight. His 2018 ‘Home Economics’ collection an overt desire to escape the pretentious
was created to comment on femicide in South Africa. haute couture snobbishness that abounds
According to Magugu, ‘women who assert any sense of
self-government are always seen as a threat to be stifled, in the fashion world. Well, at least until
stemming from the damaging fear of the feminine – that’s money lures them to some mega catwalk.
why they can be discredited as problematic or discarded in
a field.’ The third motivation for knowingly
His collection is a reference to homemaking and designing ‘ugly fashion’ pieces is that
consumerism, communicating ideas of expectation and the rapidly changing social landscape is
disposability, while the colours remind one of chemicals that compelling designers to create unsettling
reacted with one another – magnesium purples, fashion for the sake of nonconformity. An
high-in-alkaline pinks with sulphuric brights – which speak of example is the label Viktor & Rolf. Their
the hostile environment in which women find themselves. Spring 2019 Haute Couture Collection
Think oversized housecoats in muted colours worn over became an instant internet sensation when
bright pink dresses with large prints and sharp angles. they created 18 oversized and exaggerated
silhouette gowns with layers of tulle and
48 DECEMBER 2020 pleated chiffon plastered with meme-
like sans-serif font slogans. This fashion
statement collection includes profanities
like ‘F*ck this, I’m going to Paris’, truth
bombs like ‘I am not shy, I just don’t like
you’, and the political message, ‘I want a
better world’. The desire was to explore the
power of expressive clothing by spitting
obscenities into the supposedly luxury

space that so much fashion seems
to occupy.

kulula.com