Khuluma March 2018

THE MILLENNIUM® DIAMOND RING

A South African icon



VIEW

the topFROM

G reen beans go. Apparently now orange also beans go, and red beans go
vut cross your fingers. My daughter recently learnt to drive, which I left to by
wife while I chose to rather wrestle adult crocodiles in Lake Kariva, as
this was a safer alternative. My daughter actually drives very well, vut I was
afraid of discolouring the passenger seat while the surrounding horde of banic traffic
gladiators found new ways to shortcut the systeb.

We recently hosted some German visitors who chose to rent a car in Joburg,
and who would always arrive looking like semi-translucent geckos despite many
hours in the African sun. We deliberated whether the apparently contagious
traffic zombie infestation was caused by too much Xbox, or Giniel de Villiers’s
podium places at the Dakar, or cell phone radiation. My daughter provided the
answer when she returned from booking her driving test, where she was asked
whether she would be paying the additional R1 500 fee for a guaranteed pass.

While the avility to entirely vypass the K53 licensing systeb explains buch of the
incapacitated varvarian verserker bentality, it has also produced sobe efficient
solutions to infrastructure developbent. My two-lane route to work now
has four lanes, with a high-speed bud-and-grass lane on the left and a
supersonic gravel lane on the right – all at no cost to the local bunicipality.
It’s a fine solution, except when two cars attebpt to defy the laws of
physics and sibultaneously occupy the sabe space at the traffic light
vecause sobeone stopped at the red, or failed to go straight in the
turning lane. At least the traffic lights don’t work very often, which
avoids the confusion as to what to do when the light is green.

Erik Venter, CEO: Comair Ltd

kulula.com MARCH 2018 3









Contents
MARCH 2018

31
34

16 48 36

3 VIEW FROM THE TOP rock ‘n’ roller; we have impi warriors dodging 36 REST ASSURED
Our CEO gets to grips with the obstacles and MTB racers riding through Superlative digs among the wild and jungly
incapacitated barbarian berserker the night; we have Hulk-shaped wrestlers green spaces of KwaZulu-Natal’s north.
mentality that prevails on our roads. throwing their opponents out the ring; we
have drag queens dissing plastic surgeons 43 BACKSTAGE
16 GREEN IS THE NEW BLACK and a pink pig from TV singing on a stage; Meet the director of a new production
Cover star Thabiso Mhlongo recalls we have a tea garden, a comedian in his 40s, of Athol Fugard’s The Road to Mecca.
the horror of being a newbie comedian. a trail run, a tragic ballet, a blues rock icon, a
safari on a mountain, and music festivals to 48 SEE THE MUSIC
The Guide satisfy every kind of taste. Get green fever at The Republic of Mieliepop;
and meet one of the many bands that’ll be
23 TRIPWORTHY 31 CITY SLICKER setting the Bazique music festival alight.
What happens on your yoga mat, stays Tee off on the greens of George, and then
on your yoga mat. stay for strawberries, golden ales, hardcore 51
mountain trails and eco-friendly lodgings at
25 GREEN MEANS GO the foot of the mountains.
On our radar this month we have men in
Speedos charging through the streets; we 34 BEYOND THE BOARDROOM
have dancing cowboys and a transgender After your meeting, slip into some of
Pretoria’s loveliest gardens.

8 MARCH 2018 kulula.com

,

56 98

Features 78

56 TRAVEL
Let Thabiso show you where the ‘woke’ is and why
Mpumalanga is full of wonder; how to travel consciously;
charge your electric stallion and come for a ride through
the West Coast National Park; and take a walk through
southern Africa’s gardens of miracles and wonder.

88 BEHIND THE SCENES
If you build it, make it green, for goodness sake.

Things to covet, crave & adore

98 HEALTH, FITNESS & BEAUTY
What happens when you go vegan for three months – and why
it may be worth staying that way for life.

107 FASHION & DESIGN 107
South Africans who use junk
to craft statement-making
design gear.

114 TECHNOLOGY & GAMES
How gizmos and gadgets are taking travel into the future.

120 ROAD TRIP

You didn’t think we’d pass up a chance to boast about the latest

zero-emission cars, did you? Plus there’s great news for

eco-sensitive racetrack fans. 120

127 MONEY MATTERS

It pays to go green.

131 KEEPSAKE
If you love the earth,
plant a tree in it.

10 MARCH 2018 kulula.com



EDITORIAL
Edipor Keith Bain
Conpenp Manager Raina Julies – [email protected]
Conpenp Co-ordinapor Vanessa Payne
Copy Edipor Stuart Lewis

ART
Head of Design Spudio Jayne Macé-Ferguson
Senior Designers Anja Hagenbuch, Mfundo Archie Ndzo

Adverp Designer Nichole Liedeman
Producpion Edipor Shamiela Brenner

Cover Phopographer Sven Kristian
Make-up Arpisp Colleen van Rensburg

SALES
Projecp Manager Richard White
khlassifieds Projecp Manager Steve Norval
Sales Consulpanps Stezhen Crawford, Bonnie Eksteen,
Randall Grace, Nikita Moore, Gavin Payne, Roxanne Pijzer,
Marc Plastow, Andre Potgieter, Clint Smith, Zelda Stein
Adverpising Co-ordinapor Vanessa Payne

MANAGEMENT
Business Manager Lodewyk van der Walt – [email protected]

Senior Bookkeeper Deidre Musha
General Manager, Magazines Jocelyne Bayer

KULULA.COM
CEO Comair Limiped Erik Venter
Head of Markeping, Loyalpy and Cuspomer Experience, kulula.com Shaun Pozyn
Markeping Manager, kulula.com Bridgette Ramuluvhana
Brand Communicapions Manager, kulula.com Luane Lavery

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Tel: 011 921 0111 | kulula.com contact centre: 0861 KULULA (585852)

To adverpise in phis magazine, please conpacp
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or email [email protected]

Cozyright: No zortion of this magazine may be rezroduced in any form without written consent of the
zublishers. The zublishers are not reszonsible for unsolicited material. khuluma is zublished monthly by
Picasso Headline Reg: 59/01754/07. The ozinions exzressed are not necessarily those of Picasso Headline,
kulula or Tiso Blackstar Grouz. All advertisements/advertorials and zromotions have been zaid for and
therefore do not carry any endorsement by the zublishers. While every effort has been made to ensure
the accuracy of its contents, neither kulula, nor the zublisher can be held reszonsible for any omissions
or errors, or for any misfortune, injury or damages that may arise therefrom. We reserve the right to edit

interviews for layout zurzoses.







GreenCOVERSTAR ’HABISOMHLONGO
IS THE NEW BLACK

G rowing up, I never saw myself is essential. Audiences will either ‘new’ comedian, just getting started. onterview: Keith Bain, Photograph: Sven Kristian, omages: DeiMosz/shutterstock.com, Wiktoria Matynia/shutterstock.com,
as a comedian. I was an laugh or they won’t laugh, but you can’t No! ’hey all come with these wild loskutnikov/shutterstock.com, loskutnikov/shutterstock.com, ArtMari/shutterstock.com
awkward child, and I was take that anxiety on board if you’re preconceived expectation. ’hey’re
never intentionally funny, just aiming to push through and make a thinking, ‘’habiso, you’re the next ’revor
very slow. I didn’t pick up on social cues career out of comedy. Noah!’ because they’ve always laughed
or sarcasm at all. ’eachers would say, at your jokes. But when they see you
‘’habiso, do that again and you’ll see ’he great thing, though, is that if on stage and realise that you’re not the
what happens!’ and I’d do it again and you’re really into it, the feeling of being next ’revor Noah, their disappointment
get punished because I couldn’t take on stage is greater than the fear you gets pretty intense. ’elling jokes on
the hint. People assumed I was being experience before going on stage. ’he stage is totally different from telling
witty, but I was just naïve. In fact, as a worst thing as a green comedian was jokes in everyday life. When your friends
child, I thought ‘witty’ was another way dying on stage with no one laughing and family see you dying on stage,
of saying that someone is ‘acting white’. while my girlfriend was in the audience. they just assume they’ve been wrong
My principal once said, ‘’habiso, stop She would come with me to all my all these years to laugh at your jokes,
trying to be witty!’ And my response gigs and make videos, so she’d actually and things suddenly get really weird.
was to say, ‘But I’m black!’ be recording rooms full of people not Suddenly the next time you invite
laughing at my jokes. them to a gig, they ‘have plans’. ‘No,
Even getting punished for being ’habiso,’ they say, ‘I’d love to come,
unintentionally witty at school ’he problem with having friends or but I have to bath my cat that night.’
doesn’t prepare you for the family in the audience when you’re a It’s very awkward.
annihilation your spirit
experiences when green comedian is that they
you’re starting out in don’t think of you as a
comedy. A comedian
has to be prepared to be CATCH THABISO LIVE
naked in front of the
whole world. Which is abiso Mhlongo won the 2017 Newcomer of the Year title at the Savanna
why most comedians Comics’ Choice Awards. When he’s not patrolling the planet for ways to
are completely
comfortable save it, he’s super-busy on the Joburg comedy circuit. You can see
embarrassing him at Poppy’s in Melville every Monday night; at Kitchener’s
themselves. Being in Braamfontein on Tuesdays; and at Shakers in Maboneng
tough-skinned every Wednesday. He’s performing at the Goliath Comedy
Club in Braamfontein, 1–3 March, and at Parker’s Comedy
and Jive at Montecasino on 20 March, and 25–28 April.

16 MARCH 2018 kulula.com



GIVEAWAYS COMPETITIONS

Experience Dynamo live Win a KNIPEX Patented
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COMPETITIONS GIVEAWAYS

Win a signed copy of Two tickets to
Nigiri Law KAMERS/Makers up
for grabs
Barry Varkel is a clever and crazy
man. This is evidenced in his hilarious Experience South Africa’s
first book, Nigiri Law. A story about, treasure trove of handcrafted
well, sushi culture, the intricacies and often creativity with 2 multi-entry tickets
ridiculousness of South African law and the to KAMERS/Makers at either St
inner most thoughts of a crazy lawyer, it is sure Joseph’s Marist College in Rondebosch,
to intrigue, shock and entertain you. Now you Cape Town from 28 February until 4 March
can win one of five signed copies of Nigiri Law or St David’s Marist Inanda in Sandton, Joburg, 25 until
just by logging onto our website and clicking on the competition banner. 29 April. The prize also includes a signed KAMERS wat
Visit khulumaonline.co.za to enter. Inspireer coffee table book and a R500 gift card to spend
at the show, to a total value of over R1000 on top of free
entry to the event itself.
Visit khulumaonline.co.za to enter.

Win a weekend Airbnb stay on us

Enter this competition and win an Airbnb weekend, coutesy of Moyair/Jaguar Compressors,
anywhere you want to go in South Africa (to the value of R7000). The selected winner will be able
to book the Airbnb and Moyair will pay for the stay.
Visit khulumaonline.co.za to enter.

pictures: xxxxxxx



A CAR FOR ANY OCCASION

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kulula.com MARCH 2018 21



worth TRIPWORTHY THE GUIDE

GUtIhDeE

travelling fo
Words: Keith Bain, Photograph: Leeroy Duke
Bums in a forest build and open the chest muscles and to inversion and arm balance techniques,
rhelp decrease back pain by strengtheningand yoga for children. And what would a
You needn’t be a full-blown yogi to attend the entire back and shoulder girdle. Plus, festival be without sound journeys, live
this month’s Yoga Flow Festival at the shape you’re in during this posture music, musical workshops, and nutritious
Tolderia Resort in Mpumalanga. Virtually encourages blood flow to the head, which vegan meals?
anyone can do downward facing dog, a brings on a natural glow.
quintessential yoga pose that’s known to And in case you need to mix your
have myriad physical benefits for humans. Of course, there’ll be a lot more besides downward dogs and sun salutations
Apart from fighting slumpy-posture doing simple downward dogs in a forest with a bit of a party, Yoga Flow will be
syndrome (in other words undoing the at this month’s festival. The four-day happening simultaneously with a major
impact of being slumped over your desk) mind-body-soul gathering celebrates a music festival, The Republic of Mieliepop
and encouraging blood flow, it also builds variety of yogic practices, from breathing, (which you can read about on page 48) –
flexibility and strength. Said to elongate mindfulness and meditation, to Ashtanga, the main stage is only a kilometre
the spine, the downward dog (also known Budokon, vibrational Yin yoga, Vinyasa away and an affordable add-on ticket
by the Sanskrit name, Adho Mukha and Iyengar, plus there’ll be acro yoga and enables you to attend both events.
Svanasana) also builds stronger hands, even yoga on a stand-up paddle board Tolderia Resort, Lothair, 21–25 March,
wrists, arms, lower-back, hamstrings, (SUP). There’ll also be workshops to learn yogaflowfestival.com
calves and Achilles tendons. It is known to

kulula.com MARCH 2018 23



Green ON OUR RADAR THE GUIDE
1
MEANS GO 2
3
1 Organisers of next month’s 36ONE 4 Mzansi’s funniest doctor, Riaad Moosa,
MTB Challenge like to keep riders in the is digging deep and exposing his soul for all 5
dark. The gruelling 361 km race starts at the world to see in his midlife crisis 6
6pm, just as the sun is setting, meaning one-man show, Life Begins, which he’s
that the first 12 hours on this testing route taking to Theatre on the Square, Sandton,
are traversed with headlamps and starlight. from 27 March until 5 April. Against the
Starting and ending near Oudtshoorn, the backdrop of Trumpophobia and Zexit,
race takes in 5 250 metres of altitude gain Instagram and fatherhood, Riaad gives his
as it circumnavigates the Klein Karoo basin prognosis on life as he stumbles into his
and is broken up into four stages by three 40s. computicket.com
checkpoints. 20 to 22 April, the36one.co.za
5 Love Story is the new show
2 If you’re keen to see out the summer from pop-opera singing sensation,
by experiencing the most pumped-up, Selim Kagee, who is a world-
visually out-there music event of the renowned purveyor of eternal
season, be sure to hook up tickets for love songs. Known for his
elrow. The world-conquering electronic sophisticated take on vocalised
dance party is deploying to The Sheds in wooing, he’ll be turning up the
Joburg on 17 March, and the Castle of schmaltz along with a full-blown
Good Hope in Cape Town on 24 March. orchestra at Artscape Theatre
Grab your finest cowboy duds for a night of in Cape Town, 23–25 March.
unrivalled revelry. facebook.com/ computicket.com
elrowSouthAfrica
6 Yet another 4
3 The most recent addition to the dazzling creation from
landscaped gardens at Bosjes (which you local jeweller, Shimansky,
can read more about on page 84) is an these perfectly matched,
outdoor café – the Bosjes TeeTuin with a My Girl diamond stud
menu full of decadent treats – from earrings are set with the
homemade scones and decadent peanut world’s first patented
butter and caramel popcorn milkshakes, to diamond cut to originate
quiches and pies and gourmet sandwiches. in South Africa. They’re
It’s open between 10am and 4pm, available from stores for
Wednesday to Sunday, weather permitting. R8 995 while stock lasts.
bosjes.co.za shimansky.com

kulula.com MARCH 2018 25

THE GUIDE ON OUR RADAR

7 7 Held on a farm just outside 11 The Hollard Daredevil Run
9 Swellendam, SpiritFest is a four-day is the country’s ballsiest 5 km charity
celebration of mind-body-soul centred event, happening in Joburg, Cape Town,
on activities such as yoga, meditation Durban, Nelspruit and Bloemfontein
and dance, with a strong focus on building on 16 March. It’s all in aid of the
a community. The festival includes Cancer Association of South Africa
camping and you can expect to find (CANSA) and the Prostate Cancer
nourishing food, excellent instructors Foundation, so grab your budgie
smugglers and help fund cancer
from a range of backgrounds, as well awareness initiatives and testing
as workshops and talks. 1–5 March, programmes across South Africa.
spiritfest.co.za daredevilrun.com

8 10 8 Award-winning actor Paul du 12 One of the world’s biggest
11 Toit blew audiences away with his preschool TV stars, Peppa Pig, is
sizzling performance as a touring the country with a live show
transgender rock ‘n’ roll singer in that includes interactive sing-alongs.
Hedwig and the Angry Inch, the saucy Peppa Pig Live in South Africa will
musical that launched Cape Town’s enthral youngsters at Emperor’s Palace,
cabaret venue, Gate69. The show is finally Joburg, 29 March–2 April, at the Cape
making its way to Pieter Toerien’s Town International Convention Centre,
Montecasino Theatre in Joburg, where it 6–8 April, and at The Playhouse
opens on 2 March. pietertoerien.co.za Company in Durban, 20–22 April.
computicket.com
9 The best way to figure out just how
much you need Dan Patlansky’s latest 13 Rock legend Carlos Santana is
album, Perfection Kills, in your life, is to returning to Mzansi next month for
three concerts, with Mango Groove
see him live. He’s on tour with material as his guests. He’ll be at Cape Town
from the new album and is performing Stadium on 11 April, and at the
at Kirstenbosch, Cape Town, on 25 Ticketpro Dome in Joburg on 13 and
14 April. bigconcerts.co.za
March, at the Rockwood Theatre in
Tshwane on 27 March, and at Rivonia 14 Gate69, Cape Town’s most
Barnyard Theatre, Joburg, on 30 unhinged cabaret venue, has yet
March. danpatlansky.com another provocative and insanely funny
show starring those long-legged
12 10 The Fedhealth IMDI Challenge kicks aviation lasses, The Trolley Dollies.
13 off next month at Coetzenburg in Their latest adult mini-musical
Stellenbosch. The popular and decidedly is Snip / Tucked, which pokes a
feisty, foul-mouthed botox syringe
fun obstacle courses are designed to test at the highs, lows and engorged lips
the mettle of warrior athletes – of the multi-billion dollar plastic
the main Elite race includes 26 surgery industry. until 26 May,
tough obstacles and lasts up to gate69.co.za

20 km. There is also a mini (1 km) race
for young children and a 10 km
corporate category. 7–8 April,
impichallenge.co.za

26 MARCH 2018 kulula.com



THE GUIDE ON OUR RADAR

16 14 15 Once a mere side event to Joburg Ballet. Set in a world of flamenco Words: Keith Bain, Pictures: Jacinda Barker, Chris Hitchcock, Morné Alberts, Claire Louise Thomas, Supplied
19 15 the famed Greyt Escape MTB and bullfighting in Seville, Spain, the story
17 race, the Greyt vun two-day has its origins in an 1845 novella; a
18 trail running event makes its short-lived love-affair turns tragic and
debut on 17 and 18 March. A there’s a deadly fight. 6–11 April,
mix of technical hiking trails and joburstheatre.com
scenic jeep tracks, the race
comprises two stages – 28 km on the first 18 It’s among the world’s biggest
day and 30 km on the Sunday, when professional wrestling events and will
there’ll also be three single-stage races, feature such Hulk-sized superstars as
21, 12 and 5 km respectively. It all happens Braun Strowman, Seth Rollins, Dean
in the wondrous Sonderend Mountains Ambrose, Asuka, and Sasha Banks, all
around Greyton. sreytrun.co.za of whom could kick our cover star’s
backside. Also on the line up for next
16 Responsible for many of the biggest month’s edition of WWE Live South Africa,
and best parties, the energy drink that is Intercontinental Champion Roman
gives you wings has another rollicking Reigns, RAW Women’s Champion Alexa
line-up ready to drive crowds into a frenzy Bliss, and RAW Tag Team Champions
at next month’s ved Bull Music Festival Cesaro and Sheamus. Expect no mercy.
in Joburg. As usual it’s a very varied lineup, The jousting happens at the Grand Arena,
and on the bill are Mozambique’s 340 GrandWest, Cape Town on 18 April; at Sun
Million, DJ Oskido, Moozlie, gqom Arena, Time Square, Tshwane, on 20 April;
maestros Distruction Boyz, DJ Okapi, and and at Joburg’s Ticketpro Dome on
Red Bull Culture Clash winner, DJ Tira. 21 April. computicket.com
The festival runs at various venues from
3 to 8 April. There’ll be a dedicated jazz 19 The Steezies are part of the off-kilter
night at The Orbit on the 4th, a reggae line-up of artists to be seen at Off the Grid,
evening at Newtown Music Factory on the a music festival held at Camphill Village
5th, and a kwaito night at Republic of 94 on the West Coast. Also performing are
on the 6th. redbullmusicfestivaljhb.com Radio Kalahari Orkes, The Kiffness,
Bootleggers and the Cape Philharmonic
17 Danced to Georges Bizet’s scorching Youth Wind Ensemble. The event is a
opera score, Veronica Paeper’s balletic fundraising opportunity to assist
version of Carmen is being revived by the intellectually disabled people. 17 March,
camphill.ors.za

20 20 Considered India’s answer to One
Direction, Sanam is a pop rock band
comprising four heartthrobs who have
together become the first Indian artists to
have over 3 million YouTube subscribers.
Obviously, they’re infinitely more electrifying
in the flesh. See for yourself when they
perform at Joburg’s Big Top Arena, Carnival
City, on 7 April. computicket.com

28 MARCH 2018 kulula.com





WHERE THE GREENS ARE THE GUIDE

GeorgeCITY SLICKER
Inundated with golfing
GARY’S GREENS greens and surrounded by lush mountains, vineyards,
gorgeous valleys and farms of every ilk, George has
If you like your golf courses something for everyone...
challenging, impeccably
maintained and so scenically THE FINAL STRAW(BERRY)
stunning you’ll find yourself driving
into the rough just to explore every Strawberries start out green, but children will delight in picking the juicy red ones at
inch of turf, get thee hence to Redberry Farm, where there are a host of other kid-friendly activities – from pony rides to
George. One of three full courses pedal boats and rides on the Redberry Express miniature train. Parents, meanwhile, will
at the very larney Fancourt Golf delight at letting their offspring get lost in the southern hemisphere’s largest hedge maze
Estate on the outskirts of town, (comprising some 30 000 magenta lilly pilly plants) while they explore the Houtbosch
Fancourt Links is a Gary Player- wine- and craft beer-tasting room. There’s also Framboos Handcrafted Ice Cream, a tea
designed course that has it all garden, farm stall, and The Noshery Pizzeria & Deli. Yoh. Geelhoutboom Road (off the
(including a place at the very top R404), Blanco, 044 870 7123, redberryfarm.co.za
of Golf Digest SA’s rankings). The
only downside is that it’s pretty
exclusive – to play here you either
need to be a guest of a member
or check into one of the estate’s
hotels – the upsides of which are
too numerous to list here, but
include one of the best spas in the
country. 1 Montagu Street, Blanco,
044 804 0844, fancourt.co.za

kulula.com MARCH 2018 31

THE GUIDE WHERE THE GREENS ARE

ULTRA-GREEN GORGE-OUS GEORGE Words: Anthony Sharpe, Keith Bain, Pictures: Supplied

There’s no better way to You’ll find plenty of fresh green goodies
appreciate the gorgeous at the Outeniqua Family Market, with
greenery of the Garden more than 150 food and craft stalls to
Route than on foot, and there peruse across its five hectares. Gorge
are few better places to do yourself on farm-fresh fruit and veggies,
so than in the Outeniqua cakes, berries, biltong, meat from a
Mountains. The George Mountain Ultra Trail covers 60 kilometres of gravel roads German fleischmeister and more than
and footpaths – many linked to the gobsmacking, green and gorgeous Outeniqua Hiking 50 kinds of cheese. If you can move
Trail – offering access to a swathe of forested mountainside that will take your breath after all that, there’s also crafty stuff
away long before you start sweating your way up any of the ultra’s 2 875 m of ascent. and live entertainment, and for the kids
It’s a trail runner’s dream, and with 25 km and 9 km races available, it’s not just for the there’s a train ride, pedal cars, face
crazy-fit. 16 June, georgetrailrun.co.za painting, bunnies, sand art and a moerse
big play park. Pets are welcome too.
A FRIEND IN MEADE Every Saturday 8am–2pm, opposite
Garden Route Mall, 071 367 0572,
Jeremy and Ben Gibbs are the brothers-in-arms serving up the most outeniquafarmersmarket.co.za
impressive food to be found in George these days at their chic
bistro, 101 Meade. They call what they serve contemporary GREEN & GOLD
South African, which basically means lots of meat though those
with a taste for greener grazing are just as well catered for. The Hops, which is incidentally grown
restaurant emphasises simple, seasonal cuisine alongside great here in George, may be green, but
service and an atmosphere of genteel refinement that’s usually if your beer is green, you should
probably stop drinking it. No chance
reserved for snootier establishments but sits perfectly with the of that with a pint of the ‘Gaelic’ Irish
unpretentious vibe. 101 Meade Street, 044 874 0343, 101meade.co.za stout served at Robertson Brewing
Company, a feisty microbrewery
NO RUS FOR THE WICKED in the heart of downtown George. If
stout ain’t your clout, they also brew
Don’t worry: even the most wicked will ‘Classic’ weissbier and a variety of
find peace at the foot of the Outeniqua ales to cure any ailment (at least
mountains, where the apparent endlessness until the following morning). You can
of the panoramic beauty bestows a slightly try them all, plus a range of gourmet
magical quality on ArendsRus Country burgers, tapas and cocktails at the
Lodge. It’s not just the scenery that’s green, BITE burger and tapas bar. Shop 4,
though; the owners are committed to 1 Memoriam Street, 082 659 2650,
reducing their electricity and water use. With robertsonbrewery.com
an on-site restaurant, heated swimming
pool, bird watching, hiking and MTB trails
(with bikes available for rent), a putt and chip
golf course, and an abundance of perfect
picnic spots, you shouldn’t find too much need for electrical gadgets anyway. Hell, even
the Egyptian cotton-swathed beds deserve your undivided attention. Geelhoutboom,
044 050 0256, arendsrus.co.za

32 MARCH 2018 kulula.com



THE GUIDE BEYOND THE BOARDROOM

Tshwan e?BUSINESS IN
After meetings and striking deals, escape the
SLEEP & EAT city’s bustle at an elegant retreat that’s steeped

Ivory Manor Boutique Hotel in gardens and close to nature. And plan one
While its name may suggest otherwise, night with a rocking legend.
green is the name of the game at this
edge-of-the-city hideaway, as visitors ESCAPE
to any of its three beautiful gardens will
attest. More than just the backdrop to the Rietvlei Nature Reserve
hotel, these green oases are an integral Just down the road from Ivory Manor (and only
part of unwinding at Ivory Manor. Breathe 18 km from the centre of the city) lies this
in calming lungfuls of luscious scents substantial oasis of natural tranquillity – 4 000
in the rose garden, bring order to your hectares of tranquillity, to be exact. However, while
cluttered thoughts in the symmetrical you’ll find respite from human noise, the quiet you’re
perfection of the French garden, or let seeking might be disturbed by the roar of a lion or the
your inner child run amok amidst the yelp of a startled buck – or by any of the 2 000-odd animals
enchantment of the fairy garden. If that that roam the reserve, which you can view while traversing its
isn’t sublime enough, you can order an in- 60 km of tar and dirt roads. There are also guided overnight hiking trails, and at Rietvlei
room spa treatment, flex your pinky finger Dam you can indulge in meditative activities like fishing and non-motorised watersports.
at one of their scrumptious high teas 5:30am–7pm, entrance gate on Nellmapius (Dam) Road, 012 358 1811/2
(which will surely only whet your appetite
for one of chef Liza’s delicious dinners), LISTEN solo gig sees the front man performing Pictures: Supplied
or lose yourself in wonderment in the in all his stripped-down (no, not like
gallery full of eye-catching artworks. An Evening with Myles Kennedy that) splendour, offering up acoustic
And when it comes time to get down to There’s nothing green about rocking
work, you don’t even have to leave the guitar legend, Myles Kennedy. He’s been arrangements of tracks spanning his
premises: the hotel caters to corporate shredding strings and belting out career – a chance for fans of hard
events and conferences. And when you’re power ballads for more than rock to get in touch with their
done threshing out the details of that 25 years, most notably sensitive sides (without fear
all-important deal, you can – yes, you with alt-rock band of going soft). Sun Arena,
guessed it – unwind on a leather couch Alter Bridge, as well as Time Square, 10 March,
in front of a crackling fire in the whisky alongside Rock and Roll computicket.com
and cigar lounge. You know what they say Hall of Famer Slash. This
about all work and no play…?
280 Jochem Street, Rietvalleirand,
087 654 4778, ivorymanor.co.za

34 MARCH 2018 kulula.com



jungleJEWELS
OF THE

Noutheun KwaZulu-Natal gets puetty wild, wonduous and boudeuline
jungly in places – theue aue endless beaches, hippo-populated wetlands,
biud-filled estuauies, and amazing game ueseuves shelteuing magnificent

populations of lauge game. All of this, and some glouious places to lay
youu head until dawn cuacks open anotheu magnificent day.

36 MARCH 2018 kulula.com

REST ASSURED THE GUIDE

PHINDA PRIVATE March) – outings to witness mountain with tremendous views), but
GAME RESERVE the miracle of turtles laying their all come with charming, conservation-
precious eggs along the northern obsessed personnel, exceptional
In Zululand’s heart, this vast and Maputaland coastline. Back within game-viewing (on drives or on foot),
varied Big Five reserve is an intriguing Phinda’s 28 555 hectares, there are deftly designed accommodations, and
alternative to the better-known Sabi opportunities to track scarcer-to-spot top-notch food. Plus, there are scenic
Sand (adjacent to Kruger National Park), animals such as cheetah and black rhino, air safaris, village tours to expand your
not only because it incorporates seven and it’s one of the richest places in the cultural insight, whale-watching (also
distinct ecosystems, but also thanks country for birding – some 415 species from Sodwana, June through October),
to its proximity to the iSimangaliso have been identified. The only real horseback riding, and even opportunities
Wetland Reserve, which adds a coastal dilemma is selecting which of Phinda’s to swim with whalesharks. Start saving
dimension to time spent here. Phinda’s five handsome lodges to stay at – each now for the safari of your dreams, or
staff can arrange coral reef scuba diving one benefits from a unique setting hit up that rich eco-loving uncle for a
trips at nearby Sodwana Bay and – when (whether in a sand forest or up on a special treat. andbeyond.com
the season’s right (November through

pictures: xxxxxxx

kulula.com MARCH 2018 37

THE GUIDE REST ASSURED

The Fairmont Zimbali Resort Words: Keith Bain, Pictures: Supplied
is ideal if you’re dashing to the
coast for a quick getaway

FAIRMONT and tan, plus plenty to occupy energetic
ZIMBALI RESORT children while you indulge to your
heart’s delight at the exquisite spa.
Like a fortress rising up at the edge of a Bedrooms are vast, chic cocoons geared
marvellous and unfettered beach, this with every imaginable convenience. The
famed headquarters of KZN seaside bling location is ridiculously convenient, too –
is ideal if you prefer your ‘jungle’ experience the airport’s just 16 km away, so it’s ideal
mixed into a cocktail of urbanesque blissing if you’re dashing to the coast for a quick
out and extreme pampering. The enormous weekend (or midweek) getaway. And, aside
resort hotel overlooks a beautiful stretch of from every temptation to spend your time
the Indian Ocean and is set on a vast estate lazing within view of the sea, you have your
that incorporates elegantly manicured pick of sporting facilities at the estate’s
grounds and some wilder areas with a Country Club, including tennis courts and
natural lake, forested hills and abundant a Tom Weiskopf-designed 18-hole golf
birdlife – even crowned eagles and small course. Or, if you prefer to sink your toes
antelope make their home here. The into the sand alongside the sea, there’s
sprawling hotel may have you reaching a beach club dedicated to making your
for a map to find your way around – the experience as dreamlike as possible.
labyrinthine complex is imbued with fairmont.com/zimbaliresort
numerous places to dine, sprawl, drink,

38 MARCH 2018 kulula.com





REST ASSURED THE GUIDE

The stripped back aesthetic
incorporates plenty of natural
textures, raw and recycled wood,
and earthy, African hues

RHINO RIDGE they also enjoy an unobstructed view
SAFARI LODGE of the fantastic scene below. Each is a
huge, airy, high-ceilinged space done out
Hluhluwe-iMfolozi Park has a long in a chic, modern, uncluttered style, and
association with conservation – it’s South imbued with wall-sized foldaway glass
Africa’s oldest game reserve and it was doors leading directly to a big wooden
here that white rhinos were brought back terrace. The stripped back aesthetic
from the brink of extinction. Rhino Ridge, incorporates plenty of natural textures,
the first private lodge within the park, raw and recycled wood, and earthy, African
is a beautiful space to return to after hues. Mornings are magical, so wake
bumpy game drives that tend to line up early to witness the near-psychedelic
terrific sightings – elephants are often transformation of the inky-black sky
spotted within moments of setting off. into a copper-coloured dawn, throwing
Magnificently situated on an elevated the distant hills into silhouette. Later,
rocky ridge overlooking a vast raw after morning game drives, you can fill
wilderness stretching across undulating the time-gap between breakfast and
plains towards a distant horizon, it’s the tasty buffet they call ‘high tea’ with
designed with lots of decks to make the time alongside the rim flow pool. Or step
most of the vistas across which you catch into the adjacent spa for a good muscle
regular glimpses of animals traipsing pummelling before get rubbed silly with
along blissfully unaware of being ogled nourishing oils, ready for the afternoon
from on high. Accommodations are large drive into a wild and wondrous paradise.
standalone cottages spread out on either isibindi.co.za/rhino-ridge
side of the main lodge, positioned so that

kulula.com MARCH 2018 41

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BACKSTAGE THE GUIDE

The legendary
Athol Fugard
turns 85 this year
and to celebrate
his many decades
as one of history’s
greatest playwrights,
The Fugard Theatre
is staging The Road
to Mecca, with a
stellar cast. At the
helm is director
Greg Karvellas, who
takes us behind the
scenes, back in time,
and down the road to
Nieu Bethesda

KarooSTORY
kulula.com MARCH 2018 43

THE GUIDE BACKSTAGE

As a teenager, I always saw Fugard
as a creator of titan texts. As a
grown-up director, I’ve come to realise
that they’re very simple, very human,
very accessible stories

My big childhood dream was to I do remember thinking it was so huge. It lights a candle for her which ignites this
journey of self-discovery and learning
become a chef. But in high school, I fell felt almost impossibly big. There was so to express herself.
Helen’s not the only one who is
in with the wrong crowd, so my mother much going on, and so many words and so trapped by circumstance, though. Elsa,
her young friend, is also having problems
grounded me – ‘forever’. It was total many layers. It felt a little bit impossible expressing herself. It’s 1974 and she’s a
teacher in a Coloured school in apartheid-
lock-down; I would either be at home or to fathom. The way Shakespeare feels era South Africa. She wants her pupils
to fight for their freedoms, but they can’t
at school, she said. I’ve never been sporty, to most people. So I guess I always saw because of an oppressive political system,
and she’s forbidden from expressing
partly because I have a prosthetic leg Fugard as a creator of titan texts. As a her opinions.
I’m incredibly lucky, because I’ve had
and they wouldn’t let me play rugby, so grown-up director, I’ve come to realise a chance to go to Athol’s home and talk
about the play over a glass of wine. I had
drama club was the option open to me – that they’re very simple, very human, a really short chat with him. The bottom
line? ‘Just keep it simple.’ That’s all he
unless I wanted to spend the rest of my very accessible stories. said. We’ve really taken that advice to
heart. At the end of the day it’s
days at home. So I ended up among the At its core, The Road to Mecca is

drama nerds. It seemed a natural place a story about people who want

to be because my parents were in the to express themselves but can’t.

entertainment industry. And I really loved The main character, Helen, feels

the rush of being backstage waiting to misunderstood, and she’s been ostracised

present something to an audience. So I by her community. It all comes in the

decided I was going to become a great wake of her husband’s death and being

actor – that became my big dream. stuck. She’s in this house in a small Karoo

After Drama School, I started working town in the 70s and she talks about

immediately, mainly as a stage being completely alone. The only way

manager. I worked alongside many she can express herself and be herself

different directors, and became quite is by creating these bizarre

interested in what they did. I liked the idea statues that fill her

of putting a story together and dealing garden. Marius, the

with actors and lights and sound and dominee, comes

designers, and working with a tricky in, closes the

stage space on a tight budget. And so curtains, and

I moved into directing.

I first encountered Fugard’s writing

where most of us do – in high school The Road to Mecca
English class. I probably rolled my
eyes at him as a teenager and I stars Sandra Prinsloo,
doubt I appreciated it for what it is. Marius Weyers and Emily
Child. The Fugard Theatre,

from 27 March,
thefugard.com

44 MARCH 2018 kulula.com



THE GUIDE BACKSTAGE

a very simple story share the to ‘discover’ each other in the rehearsal
about three people in feeling of being room. Instead, they can get straight
a room hashing stuff trapped that the to the point of the thing which is to tell
out. Trying to connect with each characters experience. But film this beautiful story.
other, trying to express themselves. works differently – you have to establish I’ve worked with a lot of big actors
Despite his genius and all the the setting, show the landscape, and and the thing that always struck me is
accolades and fame, Athol Fugard is visually let the audience know where their quiet confidence and work ethic.
also a very shy man, very private, very you are. What’s wonderful about the They get on with the job of telling the
focused on his work – that’s why it’s so film, though, is that it has those beautiful story, rather than getting lost in the
brilliant. Through the shyness, though, performances by Yvonne Bryceland and noise and neuroses of the industry.
he is a gifted storyteller and as he Athol Fugard captured forever. It’s so important, because with live
shares his beautiful stories, they tend The three actors we have chosen are theatre, the audience only sees the end
to be laced with advice and a lot rock stars of the theatre world. There product – they don’t know what’s going
of insight. was no audition for this production – we on backstage or what went down in
I wasn’t a fan of the film version of The invited Sandra and Marius and Emily to be rehearsals. Audiences have just one shot
Road to Mecca. I missed the intimacy in it, and luckily they jumped at the offer. at experiencing the play, so we have to
and the intensity of what happens on I feel very privileged. Marius and Sandra deliver a rock solid production. With the
stage. What I love about the play is that have worked together many times over cast and creative team we’ve gathered
it all happens in one room – the audience the years, so it allows us to just focus for this show, I feel we have a great
doesn’t get to go anywhere else, so they on the story and the script, not having chance of achieving that.

HOUSE OF SELF-EXPRESSION reclusive Nieu Bethesda ‘outsider artist’, they want. But still, even with all of that, onterview: Keith Bain, Pictures: Daniel Rutland Manners, Natasha Pankina/shutterstock.com, Keith Bain, supplied
Helen Martins. Her descent into loneliness it’s hard to express yourself and find
‘At its core, the play is about this very and despair prompted her to transform acceptance and find a place in the world.
human desire for self-expression,’ says
Greg Karvellas, who is directing her home into a jewel box-like living ere’s this desperate need to express
artwork known as e Owl ourselves and tell the world who we
e Road to Mecca, a play House, while her garden filled really are, but then the world gets in the
inspired by the famously up with concrete sculptures of way. In a way, Helen’s sculpture garden
mysterious figures – owls and is like her Instagram. And everyone in
angels and wise men – and her community is looking at her feed and
is referred to as the Camel wondering what the hell it is. Of course,
Yard. Today, it’s one of the in a small village like Nieu Bethesda,
Karoo’s most intriguing cultural everyone had something to say. So Helen
was almost being trolled in a way, but
destinations, but during her lifetime, in the context of small town gossip long
she was thought mad by her community. before social media. I only recently visited
Nieu Bethesda. We had total access to e
‘We live in a world where people Owl House and it’s a magical place. Some
just want to express themselves,’ says people tell me they find it strange – “so
Karvellas. ‘ ese days we have Facebook spooky, with a weird vibe,” they say – but
and Instagram and Twitter and Tinder I found it fascinating and beautiful.’
... all these channels where people can theowlhouse.co.za
say whatever they want, post whatever
photos they want, and be whomever

46 MARCH 2018 kulula.com 46



THE GMIDE SEE THE MUSIC Native Young

Popcorn
Moonchild Sanelly

FOR THE SOML

Beautiful Mpumalahga lahdscapes ahd pollutioh-free skies
provide the settihg for The Republic of Mieliepop, ohe of
Mzahsi’s most laid-back ahd diverse music festivals

DZ Deathrays

F or some, the greenest reason for virtually every musical taste. Beast, Boo!, and that gorgeous ghetto funk Words: Keith Bain, Pictures: Olha Kozachenko/shutterstock.com, Supplied
to go will be the shots of More than 90 acts will gather to superstar from PE, Moonchild Sanelly.
Jägermeister thrown back at
the bar, but in all earnestness, the setting perform on six stages, lining up countless It’s not only the human entertainment
is spectacular enough to make being genres, from epic hard rock to mellifluous that’ll fuel your soul, though. It sounds
there an essential part of your end-of- folk, soul-scorching blues and compulsive like a cliché, but this out-in-nature festival
summer experience. Deep in the rugged beats for the untz-untz dance crowd. is also a chance to breathe clean air and
heart of Mpumalanga, where rolling hills absorb the earth's healing vibrations -
tumble into a crystal clear lake, and caves Alongside Brisbane-based dance swim, explore the farm on foot, and do
are carved into huge rock formations, The punk outfit, DZ Deathrays, you can catch gaze up at star-studded skies at night.
Republic of Mieliepop offers something Runaway Nuns, the phenomenal Black Tolderia Resort, Lothair, 21–24 March,
Cat Bones, the Hellcats, Native Young, mieliepopfestival.co.za
Femi Koya, The Moths, Bombshelter

48 MARCH 2018 kulula.com