Khuluma July 2017

BACKSTAGE THE GUIDE

PETER PAN on a magical Swashbuckling
island under the tales abound
Be transported from the neon lights and this month:
ceaseless buzz of Canal Walk into the Marcel Meyer as Hook and
magical realm of Neverland, where Peter Jenny Stead as Wendy in Peter
Pan and Tinkerbell encounter the dastardly Pan; Snow Whites' dwarfs
Captain Hook and the brave and beautiful slicing the ice; and a talking,
Princess Tiger Lily. JM Barrie’s evergreen, singing cat in a Caribbean
swashbuckling adventure will be brought rendition of Puss in
to life in a new musical directed by award-
winning Fred Abrahamse. The talented Boots.
cast includes Grant Almirall as Peter Pan,
Jenny Stead as Wendy, and Marcel Meyer, tropical sun?’
who wrote the show’s music and lyrics,
as Captain Hook. Proceeds from ticket The Lyric at Gold Reef City,
sales will support the LEAP Science and
Maths schools. Joburg, until 23 July, computicket.com.
Centre Court, Canal Walk Shopping
Words: Keith Bain; Pictures: Val Adamson, Supplied Centre, Cape Town, 1-23 July, relevant to the here and now. I needed a THE WONDERFUL WORLD
Tuesday-Sunday at 11am, 12.30pm fresh hook, some way of giving our show OF DISNEY ON ICE
and 2pm, computicket.com. a unique identity.’
The South African tour of Disney On Ice
PUSS IN BOOTS Ultimately, it was at a party that comes to a conclusion this month with
Steven got the spark of inspiration shows in Joburg and Durban. The live
‘When we first decided to stage Puss in he needed. ‘The actress who was extravaganza is an awesome opportunity
Boots as a pantomime in 2015, it was playing the good fairy had a garland for children to see their animated heroes
because many of our friends’ children of frangipanis in her tousled, curly come to life as they slice the ice in a
requested it,’ says Durban-based director black hair, and wore a colourful blue show that’s all about thrilling spectacle,
Steven Stead. ‘Then I began researching and red frilled apron over her dress,’ dazzling costumes, and wondrous
the fairytale and initially struggled to he says. ‘That’s when I saw it all in my ice-skating. The show brings together
see how I could make it work for local imagination: an enchanted Caribbean many Disney icons – from Mickey and
audiences. The original tale is set in island, with swashbuckling shenanigans Minnie and Donald and Goofy to a string
17th-Century France (or, sometimes, on the beaches beneath the palm of princesses and heroines. The show
Spain), so my battle was to make it trees. I christened my fairy “Calypso also showcases the ice-skating skills
Honeybunch”, and within a week I had of more recent big screen legends, like
written the show. It’s been one of the beloved Dory and Nemo from the Pixar
most popular of our many pantomimes. favourite, Finding Dory; Toy Story’s
It’s anarchically funny, and visually Woody and Buzz Lightyear; Simba and
splendid – all vibrant colour and light. friends from The Lion King; and Aladdin
And what could be a better escape from and his genie. And what would an ice
the winter chill than an enchanted tale extravaganza be without the cast of
Frozen dancing across the rink?
Ticketpro Dome, Joburg,
until 9 July; Durban ICC, 13-16 July;
disneyonice.com, computicket.com.

kulula.com JULY 2017 49

THE GUIDE SEE THE MUSIC

two legendsONESTAGE,
Following the release of their chart-topping
collaboration ‘We Could Be Divine’, Kahn Morbee and
Karen Zoid are touring the country together. We asked
them both to dig deep about the other.

KAHN KAREN

Karen is a legend because she treats her profession, Kahn is a legend because he managed to achieve amazing
her fans and her peers like royalty. Which is why I think she
prefers the title ‘Queen’. Because she is the queen. success in the music industry whilst keeping his original high
The first time I heard Karen perform was at the
Blue Moon in Nelspruit. I loved her performance – a school band together for 17 years. The Parlotones line-up
perfect blend between sophisticated subtlety and
bombastic rock. has never changed. No other SA band can say the same. That
Karen’s favourite holiday destination would be
anywhere where she's surrounded by loved ones and and the fact that he’s better at applying eyeliner than I am.
there's easy access to a bar.
If I could take Karen on a shopping spree, we’d spend The first time I heard Kahn perform was at the
all our money on music gear at Guitar Centre in LA.
We’d leave a bit of change for sneakers. Grahamstown National Arts Festival 16 years ago. It was
Karen’s typical fan? Crazy. I'm a fan, that's how I know.
Karen’s sweetest quality? She truly cares for people, very cold and Kahn was wearing a huge effeminate scarf. He
and has a massive amount of empathy. As SA's rock
queen, people often assume she's was very ‘different’ and theatrical on stage. He looked weird
far more hardened
than she actually is. and damaged. I liked him immediately.
My one tip for Karen?
Don't overanalyse everything, Kahn’s favourite holiday destination would be an island
and read up on the
80/20 principle. with lots of swimming and cocktails. But he'll be happy to
The reason I’m excited
about performing have a gin and tonic in Brakpan if he is around good people.
with Karen? I'm a fan
and I consider her a If I could take Kahn on a shopping spree, we would spend
close friend. It’s the
ultimate recipe for a all our money on cars, guitars, shoes and headphones.
memorable journey.
Kahn’s typical fan? A lot of English people who say ‘fush’

instead of ‘fish’.

Kahn’s sweetest qualities? He’s very

honest and loyal as a friend, and he's

sensitive to other people's feelings.

He’s always looking for the silver

lining, though he tells it like Interviews: Keith Bain; Picture: Supplied

it is.

My one tip for Kahn?

Sell the motorbike.

Catch The reason I’m excited about

them live! performing with Kahn? The

Guy Butler Theatre, only thing that could
Grahamstown, 3 July; beat touring with him would
Wavehouse, Durban, 14 July;

Sand du Plessis Theatre, be that shopping spree.

Bloemfontein, 18 July; and

The Teatro at Montecasino,

Joburg, 21 July;

computicket.com.

50 JULY 2017 kulula.com





READ BETWEEN THE LINES THE GUIDE

heroHUMPERDINCK’S Mr Humperdinck’s

Mysterious Manuscript is the

Having recently published his second second novel by Cape Town-based

Mr Humperdinck novel, children’s fantasy physician Wynand Louw. It is an
writer Wynand Louw tells us what it’s action-adventure sequel to

Mr Humperdinck's Wonderful

like being referred to as South Africa’s Whatsit, first published in 2004,

JK Rowling. which has been released in
a new edition by NB

Publishers.

Hmm... JK Rowling? It is of course destruction represents a source of inspiration is, I have

impossible to escape the comparison child's ultimate fear. to think for hours before I can

when you’re writing modern fantasy. Mr Humperdinck's world is write one paragraph. And then that

However, she’s a billionaire – and every bit as wacky and magical as paragraph sucks, so I have to write it

I am not. that of Harry Potter, but in its own very again. And probably a third time.

Both Rowling and I write for pre-teens unique way. There are talking mice, In the first book, Pete does not

and teens, so our heroes are neuro-sorcering cats, dwarven knights, believe in magic or faeries. But when

young people on the cusp of flying garbage bins, homicidal biker gang his father is framed for murder, and he

growing up. Our heroes ghosts, shadow monsters, faerie queens suddenly has to rely on talking garbage

have a serious problem: in disguise, and evil sorcerers planning heaps that fly around in revved-up

the destruction of their to take over the world. No snogging, dustbins to escape hordes of boy-eating

families. This is one though. This is most definitely not a rats, he has to modify his world view

of the most frequent snogging book. accordingly. In the end, Pete has to

tropes in stories, I write because it is fun. It is fun to save the world, like every other

because family is the make things up. You can build whole self-respecting action hero.

place of physical and worlds out of nothing, and control the When explaining my stories to

emotional security fates of nations, kings and peasants at grown-ups, I have to describe Pete's

for children – its your mere whim. We write for the same internal journey: the destruction of his

IIPnnttheeorrtvvoiigeeraww::phKK:eeiiSttuhhpBBplaaiiienn;;dPhotograph: Joanne Olivier reason we read: to learn vicariously from family, his resentment of his father, and

our characters’ trauma and mistakes so on. Grown-ups need to be told that

without going through that trauma or there is an elephant inside the boa

making those mistakes ourselves. And we constrictor. For children, I say nothing

share vicariously in their victories. about that, but simply describe the

For me, writing isn’t easy. Sometimes faeries, the magic, the monsters and

it starts with a visual image, like the massive fart-cloud explosions.

a massive dragon perching on a Children are extremely good at

skyscraper, blasting lightning into the figuring out the really important

clouds above. Sometimes it starts stuff for themselves. They are smart

with an emotion. But whatever the that way.

kulula.com JULY 2017 53



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HALF-A-DOZEN LEGENDS LOCAL HERO

'I have had many great emotional
experiences in my career, but performing
"Asimbonanga", which I wrote for Madiba,

in front of the great man himself
is the one that means the most to me.'

– Johnny Clegg

Words: Keith Bain; Photographs: Sven Kristian, Kelvin Trautman and Craig Kolesky/Red Bull the stage and was standing behind me. THE TITAN OF go home. He remains on set, backstage, or
Content Pool, Tenzin Choejor, Supplied I wrote "Asimbonanga" for him in 1987, SA THEATRE in the dressing room. When I arrive home,
so it was an incredible moment for me, it’s me, without all the crap that follows
having him – the person I wrote the song Back in the early 1980s, John Kani my name as ‘‘John Kani’’. I go home to my
about – standing next to me onstage shared an onstage kiss with Sandra wife, Mandi, who married Bonisile, me. I
while I was singing it. That evening, on Prinsloo in an epoch-defining have children who know me as ‘‘Dada’’ not
that stage, Madiba said that he loved production of Miss Julie. It wasn’t the as Dr Kani or John Kani. I have neighbours
music because it made him feel at peace first groundbreaking performance of who call me by my clan name. That is
with himself and the world. I have had Kani’s career, but became perhaps the something I have hung onto. It’s the only
many great emotional experiences in my most iconic moment in South African way I can make sure that my cap still fits
career, but that’s the one that means the theatre, igniting a storm of indignation my head without my head growing bigger
most to me.’ from the ranks of the apartheid regime than what I am. The only way to keep your
Johnny Clegg’s last global tour, The – all because, for the first time, a black head the right size is to keep wearing the
Final Journey, will take him to London, man and a white woman shared an same cap. I have never been and will never
Dubai, Canada and the US. You can expression of romantic intimacy in be a celebrity. I’m just an actor, an old
catch him on home turf too: GrandWest front of a South African audience. man who works very hard and has done
Arena, Cape Town, on 1 July; The incredible things in his life and has been
Teatro at Montecasino, Joburg, 6-9 July ‘One of my uncles is still hoping that I’ll recognised internationally. None of the
and 10-12 August; and Durban’s ICC find a job one day. I’m well into my 70s lifetime achievement awards or prizes or
Arena on 29 July; computicket.com. now and he still thinks I’m unemployed. titles define who I am. What defines me
I remember when I received my first PhD, more is that I have a family who I love, and
my mother asked me if I was now going to who loves me very much.
be a doctor at the hospital. When I told her John Kani and Sandra Prinsloo
I’m not that kind of doctor, she didn’t know remain great friends; their special
what I was talking about. chemistry can be experienced in So
Ry Miss Daisy, a scintillating Afrikaans
‘I’ve survived in my profession and fame adaptation of the stage version of
and work and everything by never taking Driving Miss Daisy, being performed at
‘‘John Kani’’ home with me. John Kani the the Vrystaat Arts Festival, 21-22 July,
famous actor, the militant political and vrystaatkunstefees.co.za.
cultural activist, the Tony Award-winning
playwright – all those parts of me never

kulula.com JULY 2017 65





THREE DARING
PERSONALITIES, ONE

COMMON GOAL:
TO EXPERIENCE
THE WONDERS OF

THIS WORLD.

By Delia du Toit

68 JULY 2017 kulula.com

UNIMAGINABLE ADVENTURES TRAVEL

E ach day at the crack of dawn, a tree. We tried to hide Since 2013, when
Nkateko Mzimba pulls on her there and not make TransFrontier Africa
full-camo uniform, grabs her a sound, but they founded the Black
two-way radio and heads into the bush. wouldn’t leave and Mambas, a unit
Quietly. She’s hunting those who hunt kept circling us. We comprising 26 women
rhino in the 400km² of Balule Private were at the far end of and a further 23 armed
Nature Reserve, where the Big Five the reserve and it took guards who operate
roam freely. As a member of the Black half an hour for the truck within Balule and along its
Mambas, the world’s first all-female to arrive, and the lions boundaries, rhino poaching
anti-poaching unit, Nkateko puts her stayed with us the entire time.’ in the area has decreased by
life on the line every day in what most 65%, while bush meat poaching has been
people refer to as a holiday destination. Still, she laughs as she tells the story, reduced by 78%. The unit spends its days
because her biggest passions in life removing snares, spotting suspicious
And poachers aren’t the only threat are South Africa’s natural treasures, activity, and searching for and destroying
on her daily patrols. ‘Once, two of us and protecting them is her calling. ‘I’ve poachers’ camps and bush-meat kitchens.
were chased by lions. It was the scariest always known that I want to work in ‘People think this is a man’s job, but
moment of my life!' she recalls. 'We nature,’ she says. ‘I love my job. You we’ve proven them wrong. We are strong,
came upon the pack without realising learn amazing things – now, four years powerful women who are protecting the
they had cubs with them, and the after I started, I understand animals’ bush for our children, and their children
lionesses starting chasing us. We ran body language. One day I want to to come.’ blackmambas.org
away as fast as we could and climbed up become a field guide.’

pictures: xxxxxxx

kulula.com JULY 2017 69

TRAVEL UNIMAGINABLE ADVENTURES

NEVER SETTLE 400km apart. At one point back to the simple life there,
we had to up our daily without complications like bills
It took four years from prep to finish, water intake from 5 litres and traffic. Each day, after we’d
but in January 2014, Alex Harris, along to 10 litres each, because our finished our trek, we’d take off our
with fellow adventurers David Joyce bodies became so fatigued from shoes and shirts and just sit in the soft
and Marco Broccardo, completed the heat stress.’ sand enjoying the sunset over the vast
first unsupported crossing of the ‘Empty red dunes.’
Quarter’ – a sea of sand within the Arabian The team would take turns scouting The purpose of all his extreme journeys,
Peninsula that’s larger than France. ahead to test the sand conditions, while says Alex, is to inspire others. ‘I want to
two would strap into harnesses to pull shift people’s definition of what’s possible
Officially named Rub’ al Khali, this the cart. Though the dangers, aside from in life. We’re capable of so much more
expanse of nothingness encompasses potential heatstroke, were fewer than than we think. Your dreams don’t have
parts of Saudi Arabia, Oman, the United on some of his mountain expeditions, to manifest as an extreme physical
Arab Emirates and Yemen. It took the there were a few ‘nervy’ moments, as endeavour, but never settle for mediocrity.’
team 40 days to cover 1 208km, with Alex calls them. ‘One part of the desert xplorethisworld.com
the desert at times almost baking them is comprised of quicksand, and camels
alive in its 46°C oven, all while pulling have been swallowed whole there. No
a 400kg cart that held their supplies. one goes there, but we had no choice
‘Physically, those were some of the – a detour would have added too much
hardest days of my life,’ says Alex, time to our journey. It took us four days
who’s also conquered each of the Seven to cross it, and we eventually came to
Summits (the highest mountains on know the type of sand ahead by looking
each continent). at its colour and texture.’

‘By 10am each day it was already Despite the brutal physical challenges,
40°C, and the situation became Alex says after completing the journey,
desperate if there was no breeze. The he soon found himself longing to be
success of our trip hinged on the cart, back in the midst of it all again. ‘Within
which had to carry two weeks’ water for weeks of finishing, I found myself thinking
the three of us, since the oases are about

70 JULY 2017 kulula.com





UNIMAGINABLE ADVENTURES TRAVEL

Black Mambas Photos by James Suter, Alex Harris Photos by Xplore Team, NEVER GIVE UP At one point, he almost lost his hand expedition. ‘I just kept thinking about
Sibusisu Vilane Photo by South P to frostbite. ‘This was around 55 days in. all the work we’d put in. I hate the gym,
In November 2007, Sibusiso Vilane got on I lost all feeling in my hand and it but I worked out for a year leading up
a plane and was dropped in the Middle of became hard as a rock. I couldn’t move to the trip. We even pulled huge tyres
Nowhere, Antarctica. A 1 100km journey my fingers. I kept frantically wriggling through the streets of Joburg to imitate
to the South Pole lay ahead, and what my wrist and hand and slowly, slowly pulling our sled – people looked at us like
would turn out to be ‘the most agonising I started getting the feeling back – along we were crazy!
and painful’ 65 days of his life. with excruciating pain.’
‘Sometimes, on these expeditions,
‘Never in my life, even while climbing A week later Sibusiso realised how I think I’m crazy too. It’s miserable
the Seven Summits, have I seen storm close he’d come to severe damage when while you’re there, but the payoff is the
after storm, non-stop. The blizzards the skin on his hand peeled off. amazing feeling of accomplishment
made life there impossible, and I can’t afterwards. And you realise that it’s not
single out one day that was better than On top of that, there was constant fear. about you.
the rest.’ ‘The landscape is covered in crevasses,
and with a complete white-out around you, ‘You have to think of the other people
He was surprised to find the clear you can’t be lax for a second.’ involved, and also those at home looking
days were the coldest there. ‘It’s the up to you. The kids facing difficulty in
strangest feeling to have the sun on Still, giving up is just not in his
your face, not a single cloud above, and vocabulary. He didn’t even tell their lives – I do it for them. I want
freeze. I’m talking -30°C. The warmer his expedition partner, Alex to show them that nothing is
days, when it was overcast, were around Harris, about his close impossible – as long as you
-15°C. The only time the temperature call with frostbite never give up.’
was above zero was when we were in for fear of having sibusisovilane.co.za
our tiny tent, cooking dinner.’ to abandon the

pictures: xxxxxxx

kulula.com JULY 2017 73

DUSTING

cobwebsOFF THE
Anthony Sharpe forgoes horror stories
and cryptids for a look at some truly
legendary spots in and around our cities.

PONTE CITY the aim of the building – constructed in
1975 as a symbol of white privilege – and
JG Ballard’s 1975 dystopian sci-fi novel its degeneration into decay are eerily
High-Rise is set in a towering, futuristic similar. Garbage piled up storeys high,
apartment block that aims to provide suicides, brothels, murder – you name it,
every conceivable amenity to its tenants, it’s gone down there. There’s been halting
allowing them to become cut off from the interest in restoring the building since
outside world, whereupon they eventually 2007, and today it’s almost a functional
spiral into violent anarchy. The infamous apartment block.
Ponte City in Berea, Joburg, may have
taken a different route getting there, but

74 JULY 2017 kulula.com

URBAN LEGENDS TRAVEL

DURBAN
BOTANIC
GARDENS

‘Botanic gardens?’
I hear you say. ‘Why not
botanical? And what’s
so legendary about them
anyway?’ The answer to the first
question is a mystery; the second,
however, is easy. The sprawling,
verdant grounds on the Berea are
home to two specimens of one of
the world’s rarest plants: the Wood’s
cycad, or Encephalartos woodii,
discovered by botanist James Medley
Wood in 1895. When I say rare, I mean
all-wild-species-extinct kinda rare;
thankfully, a specimen collected by
Wood still grows in this hallowed
garden. Botanists are still searching
for a female plant to pair with Woodii,
suggesting a gap in the app market
for ‘Tinder, the dating app that’ll set
your wood ablaze’.

DITSONG NATIONAL MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY JULY 2017 75

Australopithecus africanus was a slender humanoid that walked the earth between 3.3 and
2.1 million years ago (give or take a decade or two), and was a possible early ancestor
of homo sapiens. Only four fossil specimens have ever been found – all in South Africa – and
the most complete skull among these resides in this under-hyped museum in Pretoria.
Nicknamed Mrs Ples, after the scientific designation Plesianthropus transvaalensis given to the
specimen by co-discoverer Robert Broom (who, it should be noted, blew the skull in half using
dynamite), the skull may in fact be better referred to as Mr Ples, Miss Ples or Master Ples,
given that the sex is uncertain and it may have belonged to an adolescent.

kulula.com

TRAVEL URBAN LEGENDS

CAPE POINT

With the creaky Pirates of the Caribbean film franchise now on to its 87th instalment, it's easy to forget that the
legend of The Flying Dutchman originated in the treacherous waters off Cape Point. The legend goes that the ship was
lost in a storm while trying to make port, and now appears to ships in inclement weather as a portent of doom. If that
doesn’t grasp your imagination, consider the tale of Adamastor, the Greek titan who was punished for his rebellion
against the gods by being turned into the rocky promontory at the tip of the Cape. The fallen titan spends his exile
tormenting passing sailors; legend has it he claimed Bartholomeu Dias and his crew, among others.

PRESTER JOHN AMATHOLE MUSEUM
MEMORIAL
In November of 1928, a hippopotamus
With its roots in the time resident in the St Lucia estuary packed her
of the Crusades and bags, had her postbox closed, and set off
drawing on inspiration on a 1 600km hike across the countryside
as far back the New to the Eastern Cape. Her journey lasted
Testament, the legend of three years, during which she courted
Prester John is that of a the reverence of the locals wherever she
patriarch who ruled over went, as well the attention of the media,
a Christian kingdom in who nicknamed her Hubert, mistaking the
the Orient. Stories of him grand dame for a grand homme. Tragically,
have inspired generations a month after arriving in East London,
of European missionaries, she was shot by hunters. Her taxidermied
explorers and treasure body is on display in the city's Amathole
hunters to venture forth Museum – a tribute to surely one of our
in search of the fabled country’s most adventurous travellers.
Christian kingdom–
among them, Bartolomeu
Dias. A monument to the
mythical monarch stands
in Port Elizabeth – the
only known one of its kind
in the world.

76 JULY 2017 kulula.com





















BIG FRUIT TRAVEL

LEGEND OF THE

GIANT PINEAPPLE

Just down the drag from Grahamstown, where the National Arts
Festival happens this month, Bathurst is a quaint Eastern Cape
frontier town with no traffic lights, no hospital, and no shopping
centre. But it is the home of the world’s largest pineapple. And its

heart is big too, says Iga Motylska.

' W hen planning an affair,
it might as well be an
upmarket one,’ says Tanya
Schenk, one of the 800-odd residents of
Bathurst, a tiny hamlet some 50km from
Grahamstown and 12km inland from
Port Alfred. I’d barely met Tanya, so I was
taken aback by her candidness – it hardly
seems fitting for a country girl to say such
things, especially in a place where virtually
everyone knows everyone else (and their
affairs too, no doubt).

kulula.com JULY 2017 87

TRAVEL GIANT FRUIT

‘Bathurst's Big
Pineapple - the
world's tallest
- falls 33 metres
short of the
technical definition
of a skyscraper.'

The village’s population includes since it was established To find Also inside there’s
lecturers and former academics, artists in 1820, is home to the accommodation pineapple chutney, pineapple
and lawyers, consultants, farmers and world’s largest pineapple. in Bathurst, visit preserves, freshly squeezed
retirees. They’re a warm and friendly bathurst.co.za; for more pineapple juice and random
bunch, of course, and it soon came to The hollow fibreglass on The Bathurst Country
light that Tanya was not in fact talking Affair, 4-6 August, visit
about the extramarital kind of affair, but thebca.co.za.
rather the annual Bathurst Country
Affair, which she helps organise. Now and stainless steel Big pineapple paraphernalia. The
in its sixth year, it’s one of the busiest
times in the little Eastern Cape village. Pineapple pays homage to second and third floors of the giant
It also gets relatively busy during the
book fair in April, over the National Arts the prickly, sweet fruit that grows in pineapple house an auditorium where
Festival (when accommodation runs
out in Grahamstown), and during abundance in the region. It’s documentaries about the local pineapple
Christmas in July.
16.7 metres – or three storeys – high, industry are screened. And there’s
The Country Affair happens over the
first weekend of August, when selected which makes it 70 centimetres higher an exhibition to browse as you head
exhibitors from as far as Wellington and
as near as up the road offer wine, gin and than the Big Pineapple in Queensland, up to the viewing deck, where you
absinthe tastings, and sell everything
from olives to home-baked breads, goats Australia. If we can't always beat can look out across the surrounding
cheese, freshly picked produce and
– most definitely – all things pineapple. the Ozzies at sport, we might as well pineapple plantations.

Because, you see, this little town, outdo them in the construction of The Big Pineapple also serves as the
where little seems to have changed
larger-than-life fruit, right? headquarters of the Pineapple Growers

The structure, which takes me back Association, chaired by Paul Beyleveld,

to my favourite childhood story – Roald who has been growing pineapples here

Dahl’s James and the Giant Peach – was since 1984. He says Bathurst’s pineapple

completed on Summerhill Estate in industry was started in 1865 by Charles

1992. It's the village’s highest structure Purdon, who received a number of

and its only skyscraper (though, pineapple crowns while having his hair

theoretically, it falls 33 metres short of cut in Grahamstown. I wondered why

the technical definition of a skyscraper). his barber was handing out free

While I was there, I went inside, where pineapple crowns with every cut and

I tasted samples of the golden fruit and shave. It turns out they were sent to him

learnt all about its strange biology. by a friend in Durban, who had acquired

88 JULY 2017 kulula.com

GIANT FRUIT TRAVEL

Pictures: Afishka/shutterstock.com, zmkstudio/shutterstock.com, Supplied them from a sailor who had just returned cottage on Kowie Road where high tea point, show off your stubble in the beard
from Brazil by ship. is served on the deck in the garden. And competition, or place bets on who will win
there’s the rather sublime Pink Lady the waiters’ race.
From Paul, I learned that there are Milkshake Parlour, where the line-up of
many legends about how pineapples ridiculous-sounding flavours includes There will be live music, with
first came to South Africa. Some claim Belly Dancer, Jelly Bean, The Minion, performances at local watering holes
it was Jan van Riebeeck who first Liquorice, Litchi, and Koek Sister. The such as The Historic Pig and Whistle Inn,
introduced pineapples to the country historic parlour also has a collection of which dates back to 1832. It is said to be
when he made landfall at the Cape of antiques, second-hand vintage clothing South Africa's oldest continually licensed
Good Hope in 1652; others say the first and a used book collection. pub and is also a national monument.
pineapples came from present-day Sri
Lanka (then the island nation of Ceylon, It’s also worth scratching around A highlight is the Hooves & Wheels
which was also a British colony) and were the other quirky stores that stand Parade that trots down the main road.
planted in KwaZulu-Natal. shoulder-to-shoulder along the main Keep a look out for the two resident
Port Alfred Road – you’ll find all sorts of alpacas, Pablo and Pepito. There’s no
Either way, today there are 25 treasures, including hand-printed textiles need to worry about them holding up
farmers in the area, many of whom are commissioned by Woolworths, old vinyls, traffic, though, since there seldom is any.
descendants of the 1820 Settlers. They ancient coins, and also artworks, pottery ‘There's no traffic light in Bathurst,’ says
produce an annual yield of around and upcycled bric-a-brac. Gavin Came, co-owner of The Historic
60 000 tonnes, which is harvested Pig and Whistle Inn. ‘And we regard the
between February and December. And then, of course, there’s the stop sign as a suggestion more than
Pineapples thrive in subtropical Bathurst Country Affair. The festival goes anything else.’
climates, and Bathurst is said to be the beyond the usual countryside mash-up
southernmost pineapple-growing region of food and drink and honky-tonk music,
in the world. with quirky events thrown into the
mix. You can measure your upper-body
There’s more here than pineapples, strength during the pineapple-throwing
though. Among Bathurst's hot spots competition. Or, if that's not your strong
is Morley House, an 1820s Settlers’

kulula.com JULY 2017 89

chefsA FEW GOOD
hapTpheensJGotohboiusdrmgtFhoioenonsdctthuaa.llnimWndaeeWrnyatinsolekefegStdehhneaodwfsewwhoof’ll be
there to tell us what’s cooking

this winter.

90 JULY 2017 kulula.com

HOT FOOD TRENDS TRAVEL

J’Something at the The pop star turned chef
Good Food & Wine Show
I will be profiling some of the dishes Born in Portugal, João Da Fonseca is best
from my restaurant, Something’s Cooking known to his fans as J’Something – the
By J’Something. It’s a nerve-wracking lead singer and songwriter for Mi Casa.
experience to cook in front of people when, Food’s his other passion, though, and
honestly, it was just a hobby to cook at home. he’s hosted cooking shows broadcast to
I don’t even like talking when I cook. So now millions of viewers. Earlier this year, he
I have to cook and talk in front of a lot of people, opened his first restaurant, Something’s
knowing that some of the top chefs in the world Cooking By J’Something, which is
could be watching me. In any case, I plan on in the Time Square entertainment
doing me. My vibe is all about cooking, complex in Menlyn, Pretoria.
singing, dancing … I was born to somethingscookingbyj.com
entertain, so I should bring ‘I have never focused much on trends
and really have no idea what the next ‘big
something unique. thing’ might be. What I do know is what
I love, and what I love is food that has
a story. That’s something that I feel is
becoming more important: giving people
a dish that is not only flavoursome, but
also has a rich story to it. It’s perhaps
why my restaurant’s menu includes
a Collaborations section, with dishes
developed together with other artists.

‘For example, Hugh Masekela and
I created the Bra Hugh Burger, which
is finished with cheese and bacon, just
the way he likes it, on a brioche bun.
The Catch celebrates Hugh’s love of
fish, and I have a vegetable paella that
Bra Hugh loves even more than my
traditional paella.

‘There is something magical about
fire. We as South Africans also have an
obsession with it, so I think for winter
what I really look forward to is an oxtail
and bean potjie with dombolo (steamed
bread) and a good glass of wine.’

kulula.com JULY 2017 91

TRAVEL HOT FOOD TRENDS

The giggling gourmet Jenny at GF&WS
My focus will be on food
Jenny Morris has cooked for Charlize waste this year, and I'll be
Theron and Al Gore, Prince Charles sharing ideas on how to use the
and Thabo Mbeki. Her first best-selling whole animal or vegetable. My shows
cookbook was Rude Food, Nude Food, Good are very interactive, so put on your
Food back in 2004, and aside from being dancing shoes. And, of course, it’ll be
a popular TV food presenter, she owns loads of fun with me giggling while
Yumcious, a laid-back restaurant in De I rattle those pots and pans, and
Waterkant, Cape Town. yumcious.co.za construct and deconstruct
‘Seaweed is the new kale. It’s a fabulous
superfood, and I’ve noticed how the ingredients.
customers at my restaurant, Yumcious,
are hoovering it up – they can’t get enough
of it. Purple fruits and vegetables are in
the limelight, and chefs are giving them a
boost. If you like it hot, Mexican is creeping
in. Plant-based dishes are on the up, and
poor old sugar is being branded as evil,
so a lot of dessert menus have shrunk.

‘Fermented foods are in, and chefs are
including them in their dishes – I’m glad
for that. And smoky flavours are finding
their way into meat and vegetables before
they even hit the plate. Another big thing
right now is overloaded and over-the-top
milkshakes – I mean over the top, so much
so that the contents are climbing out of the
glass. You eat it more than drink it.

‘Food waste is a worldwide issue, and
chefs are doing all they can to use up every
part of the plant or animal in a dish. I have
an adventurous palate, but draw the line at
eating a bull’s anus.

‘If you are in Cape Town this winter, I’d
recommend visiting Yumcious. We’ll be
cooking up bowls of comfort, oodles of
noodles, all things hearty and falling off
the bone, sipping soups and chewing soups,
breads and tarts, roasted pork belly with
crackling that just shatters in your mouth,
more vegetables than you have ever seen
on your tables at one time, and our roast
potatoes rock.’

92 JULY 2017 kulula.com





HOT FOOD TRENDS TRAVEL

MEET THE
SOMMELIERS
ree of the country’s savviest
sommeliers will be pouring and
sipping and pairing at e Good
Food and Wine Show. We asked
them to name their favourite dining
experience outside the restaurants
they call home.

Tinashe Nyamudoka, sommelier

at e Test Kitchen, Cape Town:
'Royale Eatery on Long Street. It's
my favourite burger joint in Cape
Town. I love the vibe and ambience.
I would recommend their Classic
Royale Burger and ask for a mixture
of French fries and sweet potato fries.
Have it with the Warwick First Lady The Michelin-star chef creative energy and result in very exciting
Cabernet Sauvignon from their wine dishes. It’s time to think out of the box –
list – rm yet still juicy.' Jan Hendrik van der Westhuizen is South like using your leftover popcorn from the
Africa’s first and only Michelin-star chef. movies in a smoothie at home. Or adding
Aside from helming the kitchen at JAN a few eggs to a bowl of leftovers to bring
a delicious new meal to life! Or by making
Gregory Mutambe, sommelier in Nice, France, he’s written cookbooks, a few dressings to bring leftover lentils,
pasta, salad or anything back to life.
at e 12 Apostles Hotel & Spa, conducts bespoke food-focused tours of Fifty percent of South Africans go to bed
Cape Town: 'My favourite spot Europe, and occasionally opens pop-up hungry, and the move to stop wasting food
currently is La Tête in the CBD. e chef’s table dining experiences back home is the best imaginable trend I can imagine
menu changes frequently, and they in South Africa. janhendrik.com at the moment!
specialise in unique cuts of meat. My ‘Between all the craft gin, beer, millennial
favourite dish last time I was there pink and avo toast, smoking food has also ‘In winter, I’m all about curries – spicy
was con t pork cheeks. It was paired reached a point of ‘‘had enough’’. Dish after and warm, with a glass of Gewürztraminer
with Sijnn White 2015, a Chenin dish has been covered with a cloche and or an ice-cold beer on the side. One place
Blanc driven blend with Viognier smoked with anything from elephant dung to try is Thali, chef Liam Tomlin’s Indian
and Roussanne.' to rooibos tea. Let the food be, I say, let it tapas restaurant in Cape Town – the food
is delicious! They serve small plates in
Lloyd Jusa, sommelier at Saxon be free. Smoke free! Don’t get me wrong, cool surroundings.
Hotel, Joburg: 'My top choice is
Interviews: Keith Bain; Pictures: Donovon Thorne, Supplied Belthazar Restaurant and Wine Bar I love a braai and the natural smoke food ‘Alternatively, sign up for a farmers’
veggie box at The Olive Branch Deli
in Cape Town – it has the largest obtains from this humble cooking method on Kloof Street, and get your weekly
old-school crate filled with whatever is
wine selection by the glass (over – but other than that, no thank you! growing in season right now. Everything’s
organic, and you’ll get enough vegetables
250 wines) in SA. Try the ‘An altogether more exciting for a week! What’s especially fun is that
your vegetables are a surprise – you get
Chicago Cut (served trend that gets me going is whatever the farmer puts in the box.’

on the bone) and ask Jan Hendrik at the the increased awareness
for the Madagascar
green-peppercorn Good Food & Wine Show of waste – both in
sauce. e fusion I’m going to have fun! I’ll be restaurants and at home.
showing people what I’m currently Seeing leftovers as
cooking at my restaurant, JAN

in Nice, France, and I’ll chat about ingredients rather than

of avours is what actually goes into running a waste is a perspective
exceptional.' Michelin-star restaurant and the that should tickle the

meticulous lifestyle required

to do so.

kulula.com JULY 2017 95