Khuluma November 2018

Pictures: Daryl Dell; Ehrman Photographic, Alexandr Junek Imaging, uiliaaa, Artur Tiutenko, Paper Wings, WEIRD AND WILD AND WONDERFUL EXPLORE
GraphicsRF, musicphone and Nadzin (all shutterstock.com)
FINDING
PANGOLINS

All of my pangolin
sightings have been in the
greater Kruger National
Park, so it’s worth keeping
your eyes peeled (especially
at night) for them there.

However, the absolute
best location in Mzansi
for pangolins has got to be
Tswalu in the Northern
Cape. It’s a massive private
reserve with dedicated
ongoing pangolin research
projects and plenty of
creatures to keep an eye
on. It’s not that there are
necessarily more pangolins
in the Kalahari than in
Kruger, but it’s de nitely
easier to spot their tracks
on the sand and harder
for them to stay hidden as

vegetation is sparse.
tswalu.com

PANGOLIN In part, the paucity of pangolin sightings discovered, a pangolin is easy picking for
is due to their strange teenager-like an opportunistic poacher.
Perhaps southern Africa’s habits (up late at night, sleeping all day,
strangest mammal, the reluctance to interact with others), but Pangolin body parts, in particular their
Cape pangolin (Manis the infrequency of pangolin encounters scales, have long been believed to hold
temminckii) is the Holy is, sadly, a human problem. Pangolins magical powers in traditional medicine,
Grail of safari sightings. A long-tongued pose no threat to humans. They don’t both in Africa and beyond. Pangolins
termite-eating oddity capable of rolling eat livestock, they don’t carry rinderpest, are now the most trafficked mammal
into a near perfect sphere, the pangolin and they won’t steal your girlfriend, yet in the world – of the eight pangolin
is completely unlike any other living they are persecuted at staggering rates. species, four are found in Africa, and all
animal. It is possible to spend a lifetime When startled, a pangolin rolls into an four Asian species are on the brink of
in the wild without a single pangolin armoured ball so tight that a lion cannot extinction. As the supply of pangolins
encounter, yet if the stars do finally align, bite into it, but alas this scaly soccer has dried up, poachers have increasingly
you will find the pangolin most agreeable ball fits neatly into a backpack. Once turned to Africa to supply the lucrative
and wholly unafraid of humans. Asian market.

kulula.com NOVEMBER 2018 99

EXPLORE WEIRD AND WILD AND WONDERFUL FINDING TAHRS

HIMALAYAN TAHR e tahrs are, of course, an alien species, and
e orts have been made to cull them in order to
Imagine for a moment that limit their environmental impact, and to allow
you find yourself in a smoke-
filled coffee shop in Cape reintroduced native klipspringer to ourish.
Town’s hippie-cum-artist- Despite this, tahrs survive on the mountain to
cum-student enclave of Observatory. this day, adding a dash of Himalayan exoticism
The loft is strewn with Tibetan prayer
flags, people sit cross-legged on the to Cape Town’s wild cosmopolitan mix.
floor sipping yak-butter tea, the air
is heavy with incense and the scent kulula.com
of unwashed backpackers. A gong
rings. Imagine now that you gaze up
at Table Mountain – your eyesight is
excellent and you see what appears
to be a large, shaggy mountain goat
with the golden mane of a male lion.
The goat is perched on a precipice,
his profile unmistakable against the
billowing tablecloth of cloud. You
are not hallucinating, and it isn’t the
yak-butter tea, but there really are
Himalayan tahrs on Table Mountain.
I’ve seen them myself.
As any aggrieved student will tell
you, Cecil John Rhodes had many
secrets. One such secret was that he
accidentally introduced Himalayan
tahrs onto Table Mountain. On the
upper campus of UCT there’s a now-
closed zoo established at Rhodes’s
behest. Until it closed in 1975
(not long after UCT rugby players
attempted to steal a lion cub – another
true story), it housed a menagerie of
beasts including lions, emus, peacocks,
and of course Himalayan tahrs.
One moonlit night, a pair of
star-crossed tahrs made a dash for
freedom, and fled the zoo. Well-
adapted to mountain slopes, and
delighted by the conspicuous lack of
snow leopards, the pair of tahrs made
themselves comfortable up on Table
Mountain and bred prodigiously (if
somewhat incestuously), and the rest
is history…

100 NOVEMBER 2018









LOWVELD HIGHLIGHTS EXPLORE

STAY Sue Adams finds
mountains of stuff to do in
Hotel name Lorem ipsumd the Mpumalanga Lowveld
olro etil snuimd aumun
lorem imspumde Address
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

he Mpumalanga escarpment
is the northern end of the
Drakensberg Mountains. The old
elephant trails and wagon roads are,
nowadays, tarred and a trip along the
cliff edge of the Panorama Route (R532)
is spectacular – there are many spots
to stop and take in the succession of
panoramic scenes.
At God’s Window, even the vervet
monkeys sit in astonishment. One man
who fell 100 metres off the edge of

kulula.com NOVEMBER 2018 105

RIVER RUSH

‘Canyoning or kloo ng, where
you walk and abseil the river,
is like hiking on steroids,’
says Kestell Barnard who
is happy to take people on
any adventure that involves
waterfalls, rivers and caves.
Abseil down a waterfall at
Sabie or go canyoning to
walk, swim and jump along
the Mac Mac River. For the
not quite so mad, you can go
geckoing (tubing) in a small
rubber ra on the Sabie River.
kestelladventures.com

the 700-metre drop and only ended up The story goes that the three rondavels with whisky-coloured water, are the ideal
with a chipped tooth, reckons that God put were given the names of three wives of place to swim and picnic. If it’s height
out His hand and saved him. the chief who helped the baPedi – some you’re keen on, stand on the edge of Lisbon
say they were named for the three most Falls – its waters plummet 92 metres.
Percy Fitzpatrick and his beloved dog troublesome wives.
Jock used to camp along here and swim Potluck Boskombuis on the Treur
in the clear mountain streams. You can WILD WATERS River has just opened access to Fann
still do this but if you like a more civilised Falls, probably the best of the Lowveld
swim, then the Panorama Chalets & Rest With names like Berlin and Lisbon and waterfalls. Reaching them requires a
Camp near the town of Graskop has a Scottish-sounding Mac Mac, you’d think three-hour walk there and back, making
swimming pool that must be one of the you might be in Europe – but these are the them ideal if you prefer solitude. Upon
most breathtaking places in the country to names of Lowveld waterfalls. And this is your return, the Boskombuis will serve
take a swim while gazing off into Africa. waterfall country at its best. a delicious meal straight out of the pot
on the fire – plus coffee or something
Perhaps the most spectacular view is Named after all the Scottish miners stronger in a tin mug.
across to the so-called Three Rondawels who arrived here during the Lowveld gold
and Mariepskop Mountain. Many tribal rush of the 1870s, the Mac Mac Falls is If it’s a cultural tonic you’re searching
battles were fought on these steep slopes worth a look, while the nearby Mac Mac for then Lone Creek Falls near Sabie is
between the baPedi and the Swazi people. Pools, dripping in tree ferns and flowing the place to be. Many local people visit

106 NOVEMBER 2018 kulula.com

LOWVELD HIGHLIGHTS EXPLORE

SWING, RIDE, LOLL

e Big Swing allows you to dive
o the edge of the escarpment at
Graskop with one of the world’s
highest cable gorge swings – it’s
a 68 metre freefall in under three
seconds and thankfully the ropes
each have a 25 ton breaking
strain. Or y across the gorge
on a 135 metre high-wire foe e
slide. bigswing.co.za

If that seems a little hectic
then take a sedate ride
down in the glass Graskop
Gorge Li to a wonderful
walkway in the forest.
graskopgorgeli company.co.za

to collect water – said to have healing all, many of those who have gone before in Finland. And from then on, he was
powers – for drinking. And, within a six have done just that. hooked. His wife, Joyce, has been a world
kilometre radius you can do a waterfall champion and both his children are keen
whirlwind tour visiting three other In 1873 prospector Alec ‘Wheelbarrow’ gold panners. But you know the family
waterfalls and being spoilt for choice as Patterson with his wheelbarrow full of is really committed when they give their
to rock hop, swim or picnic. belongings found alluvial gold in the area four-year-old granddaughter the nickname
now known as Pilgrim’s Rest. Hordes of Nugget and she takes part in gold panning
TOWNS WHERE TIME prospectors followed and a tin town was competitions too.
STANDS STILL born, buzzing with speculation and drama.
This little town is still well preserved and In the olden days, gold fever caused
Small gold-mining towns seem to come gold panning happens only really as a kind folks to do silly things. The robber who lies
with stories of rowdy behaviour, tales of sport, mostly for the amusement of in the Robber’s Grave in the Pilgrim’s Rest
of derring-do and shady deals. It’s very tourists. cemetery stole gold from prospectors’
tempting to stride into the local tavern, tents and was shot. He was buried in the
haul out a gold nugget found on a ‘My whole family has caught the gold cemetery but faces the wrong direction.
panning expedition and order a gin. And fever,’ jokes Joseph Mashego, champion
after a good few drinks, perhaps perform gold panner. He was chosen as one of The pub at the Royal Hotel is the old St
a wild dance on the billiard table. After a team of seven to be sent to the first Cyprian’s School chapel from Cape Town.
World Gold Panning Championships When castigated by the women of the

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EXPLORE LOWVELD HIGHLIGHTS

In Barberton, you can
visit old mines, learn to pan
for gold, and take walking tours
of the town. barberton.co.za

There are similar opportunities in
Pilgrim’s Rest, where you can stay at

the historic Royal Hotel.
pilgrims-rest.co.za

In Kaapsehoop, you can ride
alongside wild horses.
horsebacktrails.co.za

town for turning a chapel into a pub, the and rumours created huge excitement.
owner pointed out that it was better to sit It was here that transport riders (like
in a bar thinking about church than be in Percy Fitzpatrick) brought their wagons
church thinking about the bar. to trade and frequent the many pubs.
Women, too, stood to make a fortune. One
Gold fever spread to Kaapsehoop in named Cockney Liz did a roaring trade –
1882 but the small traces of gold were auctioning herself off each night to the
not viable and gold prospectors moved highest bidder.
on. Today, Kaapsehoop is a sleepy little
town famed for the wild horses that roam Barberton may not be the roaring hub
its streets – the strange rock formations it was in the late 1800s, but it’s a busy
in the surrounding landscape make for centre for agriculture and mining and is
interesting walks, and the village’s quirky a fascinating place to visit for its history
restaurants and antique shops are worth and for the geology of the surrounding
dipping into. Makhonjwa Mountains…

The next rush was to Barberton down ROCKING THE WORLD
in the valley where gold was found in
far greater quantities – some of those The Barberton Makhonjwa Mountains
gold mines are still working today. which straddle the Swaziland border
People flocked to the area and fraud recently became South Africa’s newest

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LOWVELD HIGHLIGHTS EXPLORE

Pictures: Sue Adams, Unesco.org UNESCO World Heritage Site, primarily Canyon (aka Motlatse Canyon) can be formed by natural engineering.
because of the incredibly ancient viewed from the top at several view sites Among the most spectacular
geological wonders they hold. Also but it’s also spectacular viewed from a
known as the Barberton Greenstone Belt, boat cruise on the Blyderivierpoort Dam rock formations in the Lowveld are
they are not only dramatically beautiful staring up into the canyon. the Sudwala Caves. They contain
but believed to contain the oldest and stromatolite fossils millions of years
best preserved sedimentary and volcanic Another geological curiosity worth old and some huge stalactites and
rock on earth – we’re talking around 3.6 checking out are the Bourke’s Luck stalagmites. Look out for the so-
billion years old. Strange as it sounds, up Potholes on the Blyde River. These called ‘Screaming Monster’. The
on these mountains, it’s possible to find strange rock formations and potholes caves have never been fully explored
yourself walking on what feels just like carved by centuries of water action as they extend so far but the first few
a beach – take off your shoes and you’ll caused huge excitement when gold kilometres are beautifully lit. There’s
feel beach sand between your toes! prospectors found traces of gold here also a dinosaur park set in the forest
in the late 1800s. The gold rush didn’t surrounding the caves – tours are run
The Lowveld doesn’t just have the last long but you can still hang over by Philip Owen who grew up exploring
oldest rocks on earth but also the largest the bridges and be mesmerised by the the caves and is adept at bringing this
green canyon in the world. Blyde River strangeness and colours of these shapes ancient world to life.

Motlatse
Canyon, aka Blyde
River Canyon, is said to
be the world’s biggest
green canyon and
can be enjoyed from

several sublime
viewpoints

kulula.com NOVEMBER 111

EXPLORE LOWVELD HIGHLIGHTS Explore EDEN FOR APES
the Barberton
If you don’t While the Lowveld’s biggest draw is of
mind crawling into Makhonjwa course the Kruger National Park, there’s
small spaces, Kestell Mountains of the also an unusual and very special animal
Adventures offers a Barberton Greenstone experience that has nothing to do with
number of caving tours Belt by following the ‘big ve’ game drives – nor does it even
in some of the Lowveld’s 38km Geotrail self- concern an animal normally found in
lesser-known caves. South Africa. Chimp Eden, run by the
kestelladventures.com drive route. Jane Goodall Institute, is a sanctuary
geotrail.co.za for chimpanzees displaced from their
112 NOVEMBER 2018 natural habitats in Central Africa. e
chimps have been rescued from the
illegal pet trade or are survivors of the
bush meat industry, many of them
orphaned and then illegally sold to zoos
or for medical research. Some have been
traumatised through performing in
circuses, or providing entertainment at
night clubs and holiday resorts. Within
the 1 000-hectare Umhloti Nature Reserve
near Nelspruit, this refuge provides a
home that is as close as possible to their
natural one and visitors to the sanctuary
are allowed to observe the chimps from
viewing platforms overlooking the forest
and semi-wild foraging areas where they’re
able to have normal social interactions
with other chimps. e centre also runs
a programme for volunteers tasked with
behavioural data collection, maintenance
work, and food handling, but which does
not include any direct handling of the
chimps. chimpeden.com

Tackle the
Crystal Tour,
heading deep into the
Sudwala caves to find
a chamber filled with
sparkling crystals.
sudwalacaves.com

kulula.com







THESE STREETS
WERE MADE FOR
WALKING

It’s been five years since Open Streets kulula.com
launched its campaign to turn stretches of
tarmac into community playgrounds.
Biénne Huisman joins the pedestrian throngs

116 NOVEMBER 2018

PEDESTRIAN PLAYGROUNDS EXPLORE

Mateo Oakes was seven shade, while vendors sold chip-sticks
when he first rode a toy under bright gazebos.
scooter in his home suburb
of Mitchells Plain, on the Cape Flats. Mateo’s mother, Oleander, says it was
That was April 2016, when Open Streets the first time her family stepped out
turned one of the area’s most iconic of their home in Silversands Avenue,
arterials – Merrydale Avenue – into a car- adjacent to Merrydale, without fear. ‘It
free and carefree playground, bristling was incredible, walking the street with
with feet. my husband and child without worrying
about cars or gangsters. Everybody we
It was a cloudless Sunday, with kids knew was out there, people we haven’t
playing hopscotch and whizzing around seen in ages. We could all actually
on small bikes as teenagers flipped communicate and laugh for a change.’
skateboards, exchanging shrill jokes.
Oleander, now 42, is a senior project
There was a huge chess set with coordinator at Old Mutual. She moved
knee-high pawns, a reading corner, to Mitchells Plain with her parents when
she was three. ‘Over the years, the crime
break dancers, and artists here has intensified,’ she says. ‘Children
crouching to make chalk can’t play in the streets, not even in front
drawings on the tar. Lines of their own homes.’
of gumtrees provided

kulula.com NOVEMBER 2018 117

EXPLORE PEDESTRIAN PLAYGROUNDS

The events see streets void of
cars but packed with families
and friends

Joanie Fredericks, director of Nead officials to turn Observatory’s Lower Bree Street, and in Mitchells Plain.
Community Development, recalls: ‘It Main Road into a pedestrian playground ‘Over the years, we’ve had a few events
was about just walking openly with my for four hours. The response was positive,
cellphone, not worrying that someone sparking similar events with tens of in each of these five areas,’ says Marcela
would grab it. I was there with a thousands of leisurely revellers at five Guerrero Casas, the organisation’s
bunch of children who considered it locations across wider Cape Town: in Colombia-born managing director. ‘We’re
absolutely unusual, they were dancing Observatory, Langa, Bellville, the CBD’s getting invitations from all over the city,
all over the street.’ but want to make sure we get these
five right.’
Some 10 000 pedestrians relished
sunshine and smiles on Merrydale Avenue The events see streets void of cars
that day – enjoying the safe space in a but packed with families and friends –
community where this kind of freedom is laughing, ambling, skating and dancing,
a rare luxury. or simply staring at building façades
normally hidden behind a blur of traffic.
It was not an isolated event. Open Barricades and orange cones keep traffic
Streets Days have dotted Cape Town’s out, while police and public officials keep
social calendar since 2013, when a watchful eye. Drummers from Marimba
the Cape Town-based organisation Jam set the beat and the local Zip Zap
registered as a non-profit. Later that Circus has loaned lithe performers to
year, it successfully negotiated with city the events, too. Access is free – with

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PEDESTRIAN PLAYGROUNDS EXPLORE

participation and contributions welcomed. OPEN STREETS streets, which were closed off to cars,’
At one event, South African batsman TREKS NORTH she says. ‘That’s just what we did on
Omphile Ramela addressed the crowd, Sundays as a kid. It was like going to
relaying how many of Mzansi’s cricketers On 25 November, people on foot church, a community tradition.’
first honed their ball skills on the streets. will annex a two kilometre stretch
of bustling Voortrekker Road, when She points out that Bogotá and Cape
‘The work we do is aimed at giving Open Streets comes to Bellville. Town are very different. ‘For one, Bogotá
people the tools they need,’ Guerrero Walter Fieuw, founder of urban is much more dense. Cape Town has
Casas tells me at Open Streets’ offices development consultancy Making pockets. I mean, apartheid planning really
on Harrington Street. ‘Ultimately, it is of Cities, which is based in Bellville, succeeded in keeping people apart.’
not our work but the work of hundreds of is a key volunteer in setting up the
cheerleaders and volunteers who bring event. ‘We want to create a space in Something Open Streets Days soon
energy to our programme.’ which diverse cultures can be active, made evident was not only how Cape
play, transact, and build social Town is different to Bogotá, but more
There’ve been challenges. When they networks,’ he says. ‘There is a global
first proposed Open Streets Days to movement which understands the
city disaster management, an official role of streets as places of social
replied: ‘We teach children not to play in gathering, rather than only serving
the street, now you’re telling them the the motorist. Think of the success
opposite?’ But they got the permit. And of pedestrianising Times Square
five years later, this same official is in New York – the variety of local
their biggest fan. ‘Now he is saying we businesses, coffee shops, and
must make the enclosed roads longer, performing artists was not possible
so more people can participate,’ says when cars dominated the streets.’
Guerrero Casas. ‘He’s become our
greatest supporter.’ In the spirit of openness and
diversity, as part of its planning for
Guerrero Casas grew up in the the Bellville event, Open Streets
Columbian capital of Bogotá, where 120 has worked closely with the Somali
kilometres of city streets are cordoned Association of South Africa.
off for recreational use every Sunday and ‘Our big challenge is to bring all
public holiday. She brought the idea with the communities together,’ says
her when she moved here in 2006. Guerrero Casas. ‘Bellville has a
large Somali population and the
‘As a young girl growing up in Bogotá, best Ethiopian food. We really
we spent every Sunday playing in the want to make everyone feel invited.’

openstreets.org.za

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EXPLORE PEDESTRIAN PLAYGROUNDS

significantly – how different each part of closure event every last Sunday of HOP ON THE BIKE BUS Pictures: Rory Williams, Lisa Burnell, Kaylynn Palm, Rich Conyngham, Nova Brand Photography
Cape Town is from the next. At its core, the month. Open Streets Days are a
Open Streets Days are more than just collaborative process, with community In 2016, Open Streets Cape
street parties – they are carnivals with deliberation preceding each event. Town partnered with the WWF
a conscience. The goal is to repurpose Nedbank Green Trust. The
roads as safe spaces for communities to Guerrero Casas recalls meeting with collaboration aims to increase the
play in, while also prompting Capetonians residents in Mitchells Plain leading up use of public transport and cycling,
to visit areas they would not normally to the first Open Streets Day there in by challenging perceptions that
see. The greater trajectory is to build 2016. Initially, there was overwhelming car ownership is inevitable in
bridges in a spatially divided city. negativity. ‘People were saying, “Why South Africa.
have it on a Sunday? God will not be
In addition, in line with global urban happy with us.” Then one woman stood up Initiatives include the #Bike2Work
planning trends, they campaign for and said, “No, we must be open to change. ‘bike buses’ from Claremont into
reduced carbon emission-based My kid has never played on the street Cape Town, and from Gugulethu
transport, encouraging commuters to use before, this will be his first time. What into Cape Town. A ‘bike bus’ is a
public transport or to cycle, preferably better way to spend a Sunday? God will group of people cycling together
in ‘bicycle bus’ groups along established be very happy for us.” In the end, we had along a set route. It’s reasoned that
routes for safety. to do very little to get people involved. cycling in a group increases visibility
There was an outpouring of excitement on the road, which is combined with
The organisation does not promise fast and optimism.’ A third Open Streets a carefully chosen route for safety.
solutions, but hopes to create a positive Mitchells Plain was hosted in March
momentum, shifting society’s moral this year. Participants may join the bike bus
compass and ultimately driving change. along the way, and may exit the bike
Mateo Oakes is now nine years old. bus according to their ‘bus stop’.
‘It is an opportunity,’ says Guerrero His mum, Oleander, is hopeful that
Casas. ‘A starting point for creating a shift there will be more opportunities for him For more information on #Bike2Work
in how people think. Most importantly, to play outside in the future. ‘Initiatives
we’re building empathy by bringing like this need to go on. It must grow so contact Sindile Mavundla,
different people together.’ other projects can grow from it,’ she says.
‘It’s wonderful and we all wish for it to [email protected]
Supported by city bosses, notably happen more often.’
former mayor Patricia de Lille, Open
Streets aims to host a flagship street-

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COMING HOME EXPLORE

A new book by Clair Cholajda,
The Last Stop Safari Shop follows

the stories of three people who
journey into Africa for different
reasons. One thread charts the
arrival of Evelyn, a Rhodesian war
widow, who returns to Zimbabwe
after exiling herself in England. It’s
been many years, and much has
changed, but in this short excerpt,
Evelyn remembers how it feels to

find yourself back in Africa

ackie and David had been there an exploding landmine when he was in years ago, she had been leaving
waiting for her as Evelyn came the army. They had not seen Evelyn for for England.
through the gates at Harare eight years and had not recognised her
International Airport. until she came up to them with a smile. Jackie hugged her warmly – ‘It is super
Jackie was plain featured, with a to see you!’ – while David waited his turn
fair complexion, freckles and wild red ‘Jackie, David, hello.’ to greet her. He gave her an apprehensive
hair. David was quite handsome, with They seemed taken aback. Had and awkward hug. ‘How was your flight?’
dark hair and a beard. He had a limp in she changed that much since the last he asked.
his left leg, caused by shrapnel from time they’d seen her – at this same
airport, in fact, only that time, eight ‘Fine,’ Evelyn said. ‘It’s a long time since
I’ve flown overseas. Eight years – or is

kulula.com NOVEMBER 2018 125

EXPLORE COMING HOME

it nine? The last time I flew in the opposite from long ago began to seep through her. police cars and a truckload of soldiers
direction.’ She laughed nervously. Memories began to awaken. Where had standing behind heavy weaponry, ready to
the years gone? Who was that person who shoot, with an ambulance bringing up the
‘Here, let me take that.’ David took the left the airport eight years ago and what rear. ‘It’s just Bob and the wailers.’
trolley from her with her large suitcase had she become?
on it. ‘Why are there two Mercs?’ asked
Jackie was looking at her questioningly. Evelyn.
Jackie scooped her arm through ‘Would you like to drive through Harare
Evelyn’s as they walked out into the bright, before we go home?’ she asked. ‘One’s a decoy,’ answered Jackie.
hot African sun. Evelyn had come from David drove back onto the road, as if this
mid-winter and carried a warm coat over ‘Actually, I’d like to go back to Wedza as was all quite normal. Evelyn found she
her arm. She screwed up her eyes as she quickly as possible, thanks,’ Evelyn said. was shaking. Jackie tried to distract her by
looked around her. Much had changed in chatting away about this and that, about
the time she had been away. For one thing, ‘I understand,’ said Jackie. She put her their children, Amie and Matthew, their
sanctions were no longer in place and, arm around Evelyn and they walked to the friends’ children, what had changed since
after Rhodesia became Zimbabwe, forex twin-cabin truck. independence, who had left the country,
had flooded into the country. Now the car who had returned. Evelyn heard herself
park, instead of having dated Ford Anglias As they drove from the airport out of responding automatically. ‘Oh, really,’ or
and Renaults parked here and there, was town, to Wedza, Evelyn felt her chest ‘That’s good to hear,’ or ‘That’s awful.’
full of vehicles, shiny Mercedes-Benzes tightening. She looked down and saw When they reached Marondera, David
and new Land Cruisers. The flamboyants that she was wringing her hands. She stopped at the post office to collect their
were ablaze, having absorbed the deepest hadn’t done that for years. She wasn’t mail. Once he was out of the vehicle,
colour of the setting sun. Evelyn’s face lit sure what route they would be taking but Jackie turned around to Evelyn, put her
up as she saw them. She would have liked she dreaded the sight of those kopjes, the hand on her knee and said, ‘We don’t have
to touch them, to run her fingers through ones where they would have been hiding. to go on Marinda Road to get to the farm.
the leaves, but the branches were too high Suddenly there was a loud wailing sound. We can cut through our neighbour’s farm.
up. She saw a large lucky-bean seed-pod David pulled off the road onto the wide What would you like to do?’
on the ground and bent down to pick it up; grass verge as a cavalcade approached ‘I’d prefer to avoid Marinda, if that’s okay.’
she ran her fingers over its woody surface them head on. Evelyn felt her heart race. ‘It’s fine. We actually asked the Jouberts
and bent it slightly to hear that crack of Jackie leaned over and grabbed her hand. if we could cut through. They’re an odd
the brittle wood that was instantly familiar ‘It’s okay,’ she said gently. bunch, but we didn’t think they’d mind.
to her. The touch, the sound… the feelings They came from South Africa with
Coming towards them were motorbike
outriders, police cars, two armoured
Mercedes with tinted windows, more

126 NOVEMBER 2018 kulula.com





COMING HOME EXPLORE

Images: supplied Vectors: TheMumins/shutterstock.com, AKARIN CHATARIYAWICH/shutterstock.com, Gringoann/shutterstock.com their two sons. Mrs Joubert, as she likes Jackie chattered on, amusing Evelyn Read the book
Extract republished with permission from the publisher. to be called, seems to be a very traditional with details about the rhino and their The Last Stop Safari
Afrikaner woman. She makes koeksisters farm. Twenty minutes later David Shop by Clair Cholajda has
and rusks. You know the deal.’ turned onto a farm track. ‘We’re now recently been published
cutting through Joubert’s farm. He’s by Porcupine Press and
David returned with a handful of post. come here to grow tobacco, but that is available in leading
He tossed it into Jackie’s lap. ‘Some light wasn’t what he grew in South Africa.
reading for you.’ He’s very vague about their South bookstores.
African farm. I think there may have
‘I hope it’s not just accounts,’ she said, been some problems. I don’t know, it’s I think it was something like 250, from
as she looked through it. ‘There’s a letter hard to figure him out.’ the Mana Pools National Park and the
from Amie – great. Nothing from Matthew, surrounding hunting areas of the Lower
huh?’ She paused, trying to conceal the Evelyn rolled down the half open Zambezi Valley to the south east of
wash of sadness across her face. ‘We’ll window and put her head out. This world Zimbabwe – to the Savé, Bubye, Bubiana
cut through the Jouberts’ farm, David,’ was starting to feel familiar. The track was and Chiredzi conservancies.’
she said. barely discernible through the long grass.
David seemed to be finding it difficult David stopped talking, leaning forward
At her assertive tone, David gave her a to follow. He said, ‘I hope we don’t get over the steering wheel and frowning at
quick look, then nodded. He drove slowly stuck in the mud.’ Evelyn was concerned the windscreen. ‘Oh no, where the hell is
out of Marondera. Evelyn had only known that she was annoying him. He probably the track?’ he said.
it as Marandellas. As he turned off onto thought it ridiculous having to go to such
a dirt road, Evelyn felt her back and neck trouble to avoid the memory of something Jackie leaned forward too. While David
tightening and her head began to throb. that had happened so long ago. got out of the vehicle and climbed onto
Hastily, she said, ‘David, tell me about the bonnet to get a better view, Evelyn
the rhino project.’ She knew this was She said, ‘I’m sorry to put you out looked out of the window. In the distance
where David was in his element. He like this, David. It’s just that I’ve had she saw streaks of crimson red breaking
loved to talk about wildlife and she nightmares for so many years about that up the expanse of green. After a minute or
needed the distraction. stretch of road.’ two she opened the back door and jumped
down onto the wet ground. She walked
‘We have six white rhino now and five Jackie responded before David had towards the cluster of flame lilies – each
black,’ he told her proudly. a chance to say anything. ‘It’s fine, Evie, one a cup of flickering scarlet edged with
really no big deal. David – go on about trickling gold, growing up from the deep,
‘And Tatenda is growing up,’ Jackie the rhino programme. Tell Evelyn how rich, red African soil. She bent down on
added. ‘He’s thriving.’ it started.’ the ground and gently stretched her arms
around them, just able to touch her fingers
‘Yeah, I wonder why?’ said David, with a David seemed glad to return to the together, and breathed in deeply. The
bemused look on his face. subject and he was on comfortable ground smell of green… only here, on this land.
again. ‘I don’t suppose you hear much in Memories came flooding back: the lilac
‘Who’s Tatenda?’ England about the rhino situation…?’ pond with white-faced whistling ducks
‘One of our orphans.’ taking flight, the flick of the tail of an
‘Is he black or white?’ ‘No, not really.’ antelope, the smell of new thatch on the
‘Pink, flesh coloured – he thinks ‘Well, poaching of rhino really picked up roof. She closed her eyes and drank in the
he’s human.’ in the Zambezi Valley around the time the smell of the recent rain, the earth and the
war ended. Poachers had free reign. An grass. A sense of wellbeing began to seep
organisation, Rhino Ops, was established in. A sense of coming home. How did I stay
in Zimbabwe for rhino conservation. The away so long?
big concern was that all the rhino would
be poached if they weren’t translocated,
so they moved the few remaining rhino,

kulula.com NOVEMBER 2018 129





Tumi Morake has just released an autobiography inspired by the part her mother has
played in her life. The book details her rise to fame as a stand-up comedienne and a TV
host, and delves behind the scenes of the entertainment industry without shying away from
its scandals. In this extract, Morake shares what drove her – literally – to buy her first car…

132 NOVEMBER 2018 kulula.com

GET ME TO THE GIG ON TIME DISCOVER

y early comedy gigs were one-man show. It was an hour’s drive
far from glam. We would get from where I lived. I needed wheels, badly.
paid as though a drugs deal Because the idea of using public transport
was going down – a discreet to find my way around Joburg at night was
handshake left a fee in your palm, and very unappealing.
that was that. I didn’t really care how
much I got paid – I just wanted to be on Sometimes, I got lucky. When he was
stage and survive to tell the tale. available, my friend Mpho Osei-Tutu would
Surviving wasn’t always easy. When drive me to my gigs. But he lived with his
I was starting out, there were only three parents and had to borrow his dad’s car.
dedicated comedy clubs in Joburg. Each One or two comics were always willing
of those places was a minimum of two taxi to help out with a ride, but I hardly knew
rides away from where I lived and I didn’t some of them. I made many an awkward
have my own wheels. The easiest club to phone call asking for a lift from guys who
get to was Underground, and a cab there had never even met me before. It was
was not too expensive. The other two a logistical nightmare.
places, though, were a mission. Carnival
City, in Brakpan, was on the other side of Three distinct experiences eventually
town, and Morula Casino in Mabopane was forced me to go out and buy a car – before
a gig I did purely for the money and for the I even had a driver’s licence. The first was
experience – definitely not for the love. The with a comedian who, bless his heart,
audience was ungovernable, and there was received a call from his dealer on our way
always one random comedian who would home, and detoured to pick up his coke
turn his 10 minutes into a 40-minute before dropping me off. We had left the
gig late because he’d been socialising,
and, hey, he was my ride, so I was at his
mercy. It was approaching midnight when
we eventually left the gig and that call
came in. Now, I’m a small-town girl. I do
not know what people are like on cocaine,
and I have watched a lot of American cop
dramas where undercover cops pretend
to be dealers so that they can nab people
buying drugs. I was dressed well, made
up, and driving with a white man in the
middle of the night. All I could think of was
what would happen if the cops caught this
guy with drugs and a young black woman
sitting in his car. I would be arrested for
possession of drugs and prostitution. This
guy and I did not gel like friends, I had only
ever done a couple of gigs with him, and
I knew nothing about him but his name
and surname, yet here I was, riding around
Joburg with him after midnight. It was the
longest ride of my life.

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DISCOVER GET ME TO THE GIG ON TIME

Read the book!
Published by Penguin Random
House, And Then Mama Said is
Tumi Morake’s first book. In it, Tumi
celebrates her mother, a woman
who influenced and inspired her
own outspokenness. It also looks
at the tough road to the top of the
entertainment business, plus many of
the showbiz pitfalls and poisoned

chalices along the way.

In the second incident, I was in the car landed myself a nice TV role that would into a panic because I kept stalling and Pictures: Supplied
with people who had been smoking weed pay me a decent amount. I was already was trying not to roll back. Eventually, the Extract republished with permission from the publisher.
and drinking. It was mid-winter in Joburg, receiving a writing salary, so I decided gentleman behind me simply drove around.
the degrees sitting in negative integers, not to touch the acting money. I asked As he passed, he rolled down his window
and these guys were driving with the my agent to only pay me at the end of and I braced myself for an onslaught of
windows open. Even on the highway, the entire shoot so that I could use that verbal abuse. What followed stayed with
at high speed. I was convinced my ears money to buy a car. me forever. He gave a gentle toot of the
had frostbite and my bones were trying horn, and when I looked at him, I was met
to separate themselves from my flesh. Three months down the line, my friend with a smiling face. ‘Take your time, you’ll
I actually had tears in my eyes. Was I put his car up for sale and I jumped at get it!’ he said. My cousin and I laughed, and
really this desperate to do comedy? the opportunity. Twenty thousand rand she said I should call my car that – Take
bought me my freedom in the form of Your Time. So I went with the acronym, and
The final nail in the coffin was getting a light-blue 1990 Toyota Corolla. This it stuck.
a lift with a comedian who was late and car had killer sound – loud enough to
drove like a complete maniac. Judy- start its own street bash and the kind of A few months after buying Tyte, I drove,
Jake Tsie and I were in the car, and this bass that reverberated in your chest. solo, to my dad’s place, four hours away.
guy was driving so fast that we stopped It was an emotional trip. I thought about
talking and started praying. Then his I called it Tyte. When I bought it, I was how I had gone from taking the train to
car cut out in the middle of the highway still one of those learner drivers who stalled taking a taxi to taking a bus, and now
and started slowing down by itself. Divine practically every time I had to change gears I was driving myself home. As usual, the
intervention. By chance, a fellow comedian at a stop sign. I once stalled on an incline waterworks started. I loved that car.
was on the same highway and took us and began to panic because there was I learnt so much from it – how to change
home while this guy sorted out his car. traffic around and I loathe being hooted at. a tyre, how to know when the fan belt
Give me the middle finger, but don’t make was an issue, the magic of antifreeze,
The very next day I applied to write your car scream at me. Anyway, the car the joys of filling up with nitrogen. When
my learner’s test. In the meantime, I had behind me had been waiting and I was going I sold Tyte, I cried. It had been one of
my adulting highlights: my first car and
finally finding myself able to get to my
gigs and back without fear of imminent
arrest, highway breakdowns, or at the
mercy of strangers.

134 NOVEMBER 2018 kulula.com





WAX ON, WAX OFF DISCOVER

I t is late on a Friday afternoon. I’m
standing over the car boot, decanting
clean clothes into my luggage out of
the laundry bag I dashed in to grab from
the cleaners on my way out of town. I slam
the boot closed on another hectic week
and make my way to the entrance of Santé
Wellness Retreat & Spa. But I am not
here to relax, guys, I am here to work. As
I arrive, I don’t hide the fact that I am kind
of frazzled, assuming this to be the state in
which most people arrive.

SPA

After posing for our cover, the ever-glam and always radiant NOVEMBER 2018 137
Irit Noble took herself off in search of a scrub, a stroke and a
deep-tissue rub… She found just the spot for these and a few
other essential services at a posh spa in Paarl

kulula.com

DISCOVER WAX ON, WAX OFF

Santé opens its arms to me. Santé Wellness
My check-in is swift and swishy, Retreat & Spa is situated
and conducted in soft tones. I am on the La Bella Vita Wine Estate
handed a glass of mint-and-kiwi in Paarl. Aside from its sumptuous
infused water and swept up to my accommodations and deliciously healthy
opulently modern, art-filled room. restaurant, it also operates as a day spa.
The broad balcony offers deliciously There is a fully equipped fitness centre too,
fresh air and a calming vista of rolling with a studio that hosts yoga, Pilates and
winelands. The view tells me to relax. I stretch classes – one on one sessions are
realise I’m hungry. available. Guests can take guided walks
Reportedly, every single edible here in the mountains, hit the trails by MTB,
is sugar-free, gluten-free, dairy-free and make use of an indoor
and additive-free. Everything. This is
thrilling to me, with my sugar and gluten and outdoor pool.
intolerances. Sugar makes my brain santeretreat.co.za
glitch and leaves me spiral-eyed for days.
Gluten makes me near-narcoleptic within kulula.com
hours. I realise that here, I can actually
eat everything, including these delectable
hotel biscuits! I nosh some as I settle in.

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WAX ON, WAX OFF DISCOVER

Pictures: Sven Kristian, supplied And by ‘settle’, I mean helping my baggage science-y stuff. Would I like to try it? Sure. wine through every pore in my
to cough up an explosion of tech and Will there be snacks? body. I sink under the surface,
stationary all over the desk and hack out submerging my head. I never
the rest of it all over the king-sized-with- The next morning, I am seated in a knew I could hold my breath
extra-length bed. comfy lounging chair, bare feet planted for this long. Must be because
on thick, gel-filled pads. By this stage, the I am so very, very relaxed.
Later, I dine with Santé owners Ingrid tight coil of stress is starting to release
and Graham Hindle and their daughter a little, and I enjoy the quiet me-time, On the third request, I
Charlotte. They all have perfect skin, a pressing my toes into those deliciously reluctantly pull myself
healthy glow, and a limitless supply of spongy pads. Heaven alone knows how from this pool
stimulating health facts and stories. I it works, but I’m assured the healing is of love. After a
talk with my mouth full, humming and happening. thorough dry-off
murmuring appreciation for my melt- and another up-down-all-
on-the-tongue beef short-rib with all its Later in the day, I am treated to a soak around rub, this time with a
fondants and scrumptious bits and bites. in the most ambrosial of infused waters: gorgeously rich cream, I am
Vinotherapy. After being rubbed down wrapped in my gown and
Charlotte manages the cutting-edge, roundly, skin sloughed with grape seed guided across the padded
technology-based, non-invasive therapy and pulp, I find myself in a wine-filled bath carpet for my massage
called Health Optimization. She talks with a glass of red in my appreciative, treatment.
excitedly about stimulating the intrinsic exfoliated hand. I am left alone, to drift in
self-regulating and healing mechanisms wine and reverie. I may just be beginning Everything in the Pro Sleep
of the body. I nod, because I understand to relax. Possibly a side-effect of drinking massage room is geared

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DISCOVER WAX ON, WAX OFF

towards tranquility. Smells, sounds, a cloud of deep, sweet citrus. Through TERRENCE’S MAGIC ELIXIR
subdued lighting: I challenge any gritty the slow flutter of my lashes I make
worry to survive two minutes in there! out a familiar and beloved shape. As Chef Terrence is another Santé soul
The massage therapist places a slightly Dwayne Johnson walks quietly into the who is the very picture of health –
weighted cover over my eyes and then room, he looks down at me with tender that is, judging by his energy- lled
surprises me by gently pressing between passion and reaches out to lift me up. Yes, chocolate eyes. Or should I say ‘raw,
my bottom lip and chin, releasing my jaw. it is The Rock carrying me off in those non-fermented cacao’ eyes. He
If you try that now, you will feel your entire magnificent arms of his, through the describes the food here as ‘progressive
body softly re-la-x-ing… expansive hallways, mezzanine lobby, up nutritional cuisine’. He has turned what
the sweeping staircase and into my room… most chefs might consider limitations
She runs brushes, shaped like long silky and no-one seems to notice... into opportunities. He lives to develop
combs, up and down the length of me, supremely healthy recipes that are also
with a wondrous effect on all my nerve Looking back, there were so many delicious.
fibres. The music, specifically created things that made my stay heavenly. I left,
for this very treatment, starts with slow, wrapped in peach-skin and chill vibes, Among other culinary companions,
rhythmical sounds resembling a single telling myself to remember to keep alive the Santé kitchen produces its own
heartbeat in the state of relaxation, the spa experience. Look after yourself, sugar-free kombucha. Described by
and gently building to crescendo before Noble. Infuse. Exfoliate. Learn to relax. some as a digestive elixir and others as
slowing back to the heartbeat for the last Lather. Rinse. Repeat. tea with a side of bacteria, kombucha
part of the treatment. The brushes on my is usually made by feeding the starter
body maintain the same slow, constant Ironically, I left my razor behind, and culture, known as the ‘mother’, with
rhythm, and I must admit I feel tingles another hectic week has passed without ca eine and sugar. e fact that
as they glide. It is beyond words, with the replacing it. So here I sit, recalling Santé Terrence has found a way to make it
sensory luxury heightened by the music. memories, enjoying the springtime evening sugar-free has me raising my glass of
Throb-throb. Throb-throb. Throb-throb… while my leg hairs wave gently in the infused water to acknowledge him as a
breeze. I may have to pop back for a quick freaking wizard.
The table becomes a magical carpet wax. Luckily, there is a bag of fresh laundry
woven of cedarwood and roses, lifted on in the car.

140 NOVEMBER 2018 kulula.com



InGUsT tinct
In her new book,
Mandala Kitchen,
nutritional therapist
Marlien Wright
provides nourishing
recipes that support
the theory that
a healthy gut is at
the heart of all-round
wellbeing. Here,
she offers some

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etur?Num ex eum quia sperarennsdeaapmructhctiionngrgeittihcsettbaeosmtoyk ut
aut que eos verrorecto blabo.meals to the test

142 NOVEMBER 2018 kulula.com

EAT WELL AND PROSPER DISCOVER

Cook with Marlien
Published by Jacana, Mandala Kitchen
is the follow-up to Marlien Wright’s first
cookbook, The Yoga Kitchen: 100 Easy Superfood
Recipes. A food blogger, yogi and mother, Marlien
believes that our food choices can either heal or harm
us. Both books feature simple, time-saving recipes
using vegetable-rich, alkalising ingredients that
promote your best gut health. For the healing to begin,
Marlien suggests starting with the broth and soup
recipes. ‘They are so easy to make and a great
and gentle way to move towards your best
gut health,’ she says. Marlien also hosts

workshops through the year; find out
more at yogakitchen.co.za.

I learnt a very valuable lesson while ongoing scientific research, it has come to as our ‘second brain’ and there is much
researching The Mandala Kitchen light that our microbes play an essential evidence and ongoing scientific research
– that our microbe community is our role in our health and happiness… We suggesting that optimal health, mood
greatest asset in our pursuit of health and now know that our immunity, mood, and our ability to fight disease resides in
happiness. And that it is literally never weight management and many other key our gut.
too late to transform your (gut) health by elements of our health are all intricately I believe gut health is quite
changing what you eat and reconsidering tied to, and regulated by, our gut revolutionary in terms of how we
your lifestyle choices. microbes. In other words, our best health approach growing and processing foods
We are made up of water, a little depends on our best gut health. these days – and how we view our best
stardust and a large community of Gut health is a fairly new (and very health and the factors that contribute
microbes (bacteria). This community hot) topic, but it certainly confirms to it.
cannot be separated from us as human old truths that have been forgotten, or The idea of a ‘diet’ or ‘dieting’ in the
beings. So we need to consider it and more accurately have been thwarted by traditional sense is unsustainable. So
nurture it in order to truly unify and modern medicine, hygienic practices and many of our past ‘guidelines’ – such as
promote our best health and wellbeing. In doctrines. The gut is often referred to the ‘low fat’ fad – have been pretty

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DISCOVER EAT WELL AND PROSPER

Clockwise ACHIEVING OPTIMAL
from above: GUT HEALTH
Marlien’s nourishing
beetroot bliss soup is ‘A happy gut will translate into lots
a powerhouse of gut-healthy of energy, a strong immune system,
fibre and antioxidants; gut- a mostly happy and positive outlook on
friendly chocolate bombs life, an optimally functioning digestive
are ideal pre-workout fuel; system and a faster metabolism, which
chocolate brownies that means natural weight management,’
are good for your gut says Marlien. ‘To achieve thriving gut
health, include at least five (or more)
bacteria vegetables and two fruits in your daily
diet. Move to a more plant-based
misguided. Eating and lifestyle choices diet that includes beans and lentils
to promote your best (gut) health can which will provide plenty of fibre and
only be achieved, and be sustainable sufficient protein. A plant-based diet
as a long-term lifestyle, with a shift helps exclude unwanted ingredients
towards whole, unprocessed foods that such as second-hand antibiotics and
have been tampered with as little as growth hormones. Finally, exclude
possible. Balance, and eating natural refined flours, sugar and trans fats.’
whole foods, are key.
When the topic of gut health surfaced, tampered-with and anti-refined-flour
it confirmed my beliefs that we need foods. We all have different constitutions
to focus on fibre (no, not the ‘All-Bran’ and needs according to our unique
variety) and vegetables of many colours lifestyles and resources, and in order to
in order to nourish and restore our body’s arrive at our best health we need to find
natural ability to heal and thrive. our own way. There is no ‘golden key’,
I am anti-low-fat, anti-processed, anti- or simple answer.
Do make conscious choices, and be
picky about ingredients and their
origin. Reconsider old views such as low
fat versus full fat. Stick to natural, un-
tampered-with, unprocessed ingredients
and eat an abundance of vegetables.
I encourage balance. Eat healthily 90%
of the time and leave some room for
naughty treats. We are human, and life is
for pleasure too. I believe that if we lead
active lifestyles and eat healthily most
of the time, our bodies can certainly cope
with a naughty treat here and there. In
addition, that super heavy Sunday lunch
with the malva pudding after, and lots
of wine during, will be a wonderful

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DISCOVER EAT WELL AND PROSPER

Marlien’s
chocolate pots
are a fairly guilt-
free dessert with
no refined flour

or dairy

reminder why we can’t eat that way precious microbe community. TELLTALE SIGNS OF Interview: Keith Bain, Pictures: Supplied, Marlien Wright, Peter Maddock Wilkins
every day. When shopping for food, any product AN UNHAPPY GUT
With GMO foods, it is a given that they that has more than one ingredient on the
have been heavily sprayed with pesticides, label worries me; my advice is to stick to low energy
and we are still not sure how the plant real and whole foods that don’t even need bloating
has been changed and what the impact labels. In fact, I will go as far as to say abdominal pain
will be nutritionally. Processed foods that if your great granny wouldn’t have constipation or diarrhoea
simply mean that lots of undesirable recognised it, then don’t buy it. brain fog and low mood
ingredients such as preservatives, Being a student of yoga and nutrition autoimmune disorders
flavourings, sugar or sodium have been for as long as I can remember, as well as frequent infections
added. They are also quite possibly full of experimenting with different foods and food intolerance
refined flour and added gluten, and most lifestyle practices in the last 20 years, skin disorders
definitely lacking in enzymes which assist has led me to an intuitive as well as an joint pain
in digestion. informed choice of following a mostly inflammation
Don’t get me started on the gluten-free plant-based diet. Eating less animal
products we are inundated with these protein, and choosing to include a wide approach to food has been adopted
days. Our gut microbes need fibre, and variety of rainbow coloured vegetables and consistently implemented, it does
even if your biscuit or bread is gluten- every day works for me and allows me to become simple – and stress free, too.
free it still contains a refined flour which feel strong and healthy. It’s only the period of adjustment or
basically will turn into glucose/sugar… Changing your lifestyle and food ‘the shift’ that will feel difficult. In my
Even worse, it provides no fibre for your choices is difficult. But once a new book, I offer what I call the ‘remove,
replace and restore’ approach. It is very
simple to follow, but may require some
uncomfortable changes to your life.

146 NOVEMBER 2018 kulula.com