Khuluma November 2017

PICASSO HEADLINE take me home please November 2017

Playtime
with Krijay Govender
FOR THE MENU see pages 4 & 5

70



THE MILLENNIUM® DIAMOND RING

A South African icon



the topVIEW FROM

S adly, any mention of adult playtime is met with ‘aren’t they a bit old for that?’
or a bit of ‘nudge, nudge, wink, wink’. Unless it is a very expensive plaything –
like a Porsche or a yacht – in which case it is suddenly entirely acceptable to
play with your toys.

It’s such a pity we grown-ups are prejudiced about playtime, because it has been
repeatedly proven that any form of play is an extremely valuable mental exercise,
preventing everything from depression to Alzheimer’s. Playing includes any activity
that you enjoy doing voluntarily and that you don’t necessarily do for the sake of
achieving a goal. So, breeding guinea pigs in Peru is farming, but breeding them
anywhere else is playing. A bit like the difference between a chicken and a feather – it’s
more fun playing with a feather, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, if you know what I mean…

George Bernard Shaw said that we don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow
old because we stop playing. The best tutors are kids and pets – certainly more so than
guinea pigs and chickens. Go and roll around the lawn with your dog. Just make sure
that it hasn’t left you any landmines that might enhance your relationship with the
washing machine – because doing the laundry is not playing. Or remember what
you enjoyed doing as a child, and go do it again. You can always tell the shop
assistant that you are buying the Barbie for your niece. All work and no
play makes Sam a very dull Homo Miserabilis indeed.

Erik Venter, CEO: Comair Ltd

kulula.com NOVEMMBEARY 20176 3







Negester Onrusrivier helps you make your
‘little house by the sea’ dream come true

O nrusrivier is a charming Overberg coastal A SANCTUARY FOR
town, just a stone’s throw from Hermanus, GENTLE CARE
which has become a preferred destination
for fifty-plussers over the past few years. Negester Onrusrivier also has a modern, well-
The environment provides residents and holidaymakers equipped care centre with 50 residential units. The
with premier wine estates, beaches, golf courses, care centre opened its doors on 6 December 2014
shopping centres, restaurants, a Mediclinic hospital offering three care packages: basic care packages from
and much more. With its ideal location, Negester R8 800 monthly, assisted care packages from R15 400
Onrusrivier gives you the opportunity to settle down monthly. and frail care packages from R19 300 per
in this beautiful, safe environment, between the month. The modern en suite residential units are all
Groenberg Mountains and sea. equipped with a kitchenette and spacious bathroom.
The care centre offers a cosy dining room, living room
YOUR LITTLE HOUSE BY with fireplace, ladies’ bar, small library, hair salon and
THE SEA a clinic.

Negester Onrusrivier’s timeless architecture and Medwell, the healthcare service provider, offers
inviting Cape design elements, such as old-fashioned home care as a standard option. Medwell specialises
porches, cosy low walls and landscaped gardens, in hands-on, valued community service, medical
instantly make you feel at home. The full title support and nursing services. It also has a registered
homes, with their spacious living areas, high ceilings practice number that enables it to recover costs from
and large windows, contain quality materials and the medical aid on behalf of the residents in certain
finishes – with underfloor heating and a braai area as instances. Cilliers says, “It is also our aim to provide
additional options. home care at each Negester as a service option, and
to build modern and well-equipped care centres that
This secure lifestyle estate consists of 125 properties make provision for residents’ medical needs, and in so
and a variety of homes and plot-and-plan packages doing ensure their peace of mind.”
are available. House sizes range from 135 to 205m2 and
prices start at R2 830 000. Since Negester Onrusrivier’s SHINE BRIGHT!
launch in November 2013, 72% of the properties have
already been sold. Well-known Afrikaans author and poet, DJ Opperman’s
poem, Negester en stedelig, was the inspiration behind
ATKV AS DEVELOPMENT the development of the Negester brand and slogan.
PARTNER FOR PEACE The Negester vision expanded on this, namely the
OF MIND development and management of sustainable, secure
and valued lifestyle estates where the total wellbeing of
About seven years ago, the ATKV board adopted a the fifty-plus group is cherished.
diversification strategy to, among other things, be
involved in the development of lifestyle housing for And, like Opperman’s poem, “always remember
the fifty-plus group. According to Schalk Cilliers, the that to your deeds borders an eternity […] and may the
managing director of ATKV-Sake, it was the strategy Southern Cross and the Nine Star, whiter than the city
of ATKV-Sake to establish a secure lifestyle housing lights, keep sparkling in your soul” (freely translated),
footprint in South Africa. Negester Onrusrivier and Negester Onrusrivier believes that its lifestyle estate
Negester Klein-Kariba were the first steps taken toward truly provides such a sustainable environment for all
implementing this strategy. its residents.

Contact Basie Oelofsen at 083 259 7597 ([email protected]) or Elmar van Tonder at
081 534 5604 (elmar.van@seeff.com) to find out more about our plot-and-plan and care
packages, and secure your own little house by the sea at Negester Onrusrivier.

Contents 36 38
NOVEMBER 2017
31

20 26

3 VIEW FROM THE TOP 26 TIME TO PLAY 36 DEALBREAKER
Our CEO on the difference between On our radar this month we have mud- Somerset West has mountains,
chickens and feathers. drenched trail runs and MTB trails, a cool nature reserves and this
cat named Yusuf, a Scottish band called charming little guesthouse.
20 THE SECRET Texas, and a superstar singing sensation
Cover star Krijay Govender on how to from Senegal. We have Wolfgang Amadeus 38 EPICUREAN TALES
be a player for the rest of your days. Mozart in Cape Town, John Vlismas in Anna Trapido on how we humans
Joburg, Brett Murray on a surfboard, and love to play with our food.
The Guide Mthuthuzeli November in tights. Plus a
musical tribute to the heyday of 80s rock, 45 BACKSTAGE
25 TRIPWORTHY half a dozen men doing The Full Monty, Pinocchio is Janice Honeyman’s billionth
Retreat yourself by discovering your and a miniature drone named Spark. pantomime (more or less); and why
inner animal Evita is raising the roof right now.
31 CITY SLICKER
53 PE has paddling, parkruns, piers, 53 THE BIG PICTURE
prawn platters and pretty perfect A festival of films packing adventure
patches of sand on which to play. and adrenaline.

34 NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH 56 READ BETWEEN THE LINES
Where emperors and empresses go to That time when a horse in Botswana
play (and sleep and gamble and feast). became king of the zebras.

8 NOVEMBER 2017 kulula.com



CONTENTS

101 135

Features 120

60 TRAVEL
Krijay Govender’s global wanderlust; Mzansi’s urban
playgrounds for fun- and thrill-seekers; what winemakers
do when they’re not stomping grapes; our activity-packed
guide to exertion-filled destinations; and all the teams to
look out for at next month’s Sevens rugby competition in
Green Point (along with where to eat and drink before and
after you scream your lungs out).

113 LOCAL HERO
From humble beginnings, these youngsters are cycling into
international arenas.

120 BEHIND THE SCENES
Here’s what they never told you about growing up.

Things to covet, crave & adore

126 HEALTH, FITNESS AND BEAUTY
Humans need to play in order to learn – and to feel alive.

135 FASHION AND DESIGN
Kent Lingeveldt is not only a legendary skater, but a designer
and shaper of covetable longboards.

143 TECHNOLOGY AND GAMES 143
The drones are here to
help. No, really.

150 ROAD TRIP
Some cars are just
meant for the track.

156 MONEY MATTERS
When your office is so cool
you always get to work
super early.

161 KEEPSAKE

Play like James Bond

in the bush. 156

10 NOVEMBER 2017 kulula.com



EDITORIAL
Editor Keith Bain
Content Manager Raina Julies – [email protected]
Content Co-ordinator Vanessa Payne
Copy Editor Stuart Ellis

ART
Head of Design Studio Jayne Macé-Ferguson
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Advert Designer Nichole Liedeman
Production Editor Shamiela Brenner

Cover Photographer Sven Kristian
Make-up Artist Colleen van Rensburg

SALES
Project Manager Richard White
khlassifieds Project Manager Steve Norval
Sales Consultants Stephen Crawford, Jay Deary
Bonnie Eksteen, Randall Grace, Janine Hood, Nikita Moore, Marc Plastow
Andre Potgieter, Roman Ross, Clint Smith, Zelda Stein
Advertising Co-ordinator Vanessa Payne

MANAGEMENT
Business Manager Lodewyk van der Walt – [email protected]

Senior Bookkeeper Deidre Musha
General Manager, Magazines Jocelyne Bayer

KULULA.COM
CEO Comair Limited Erik Venter
Head of Marketing, Loyalty and Customer Experience, kulula.com Shaun Pozyn
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Brand Communications Manager, kulula.com Luane Lavery

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layout purposes.















COVER STAR KRIJAY GOVENDER

seTHcE ret Krijay’s busy year
has included directing sitcoms
and dramas for TV, including her
new show, Bedford Wives. She’s worked
corporate gigs and done comedy shows and
MC work locally and overseas – plus private
parties and a few weddings. She’s appearing at
Gateway’s Celebrity Chef Showdown in Durban
at Adega restaurant on 16 November, alongside

comedian Mo Magic. And she’ll be on the Kings

& Queens of Comedy line-up at Time Square

in Menlyn Maine, Tshwane, on 10 February
here is no time
to waste. We're 2018. She’s also awesome on Instagram,
in the last spins so follow her there on
@krijaygovender.
Tof the coin of time. Life is going by so fast.
utterly different from my usual TV and there are always ways of
Don’t forget to stop and savour it, enjoystage work, and for a while play at beingkeeping life interesting.
a little, play a lot. someone else, injecting my life with At home we have a basketball court where
unexpected twists and turns. the whole family likes to play. Indoors, we
Yes, I'm a player. No, not the ‘player’ play Scrabble. I say ‘play’, but we’re really
from the hood who refused to commitAnd when there are no cottages to build,quite competitive.
to one girl, but the kind of person who
refuses to stop enjoying life just because I also take time to hang upside down
I’m an adult. I believe life should be fun from my bed, a reminder of my teenage
– an adventure – every step of the way. I years when I thought I was a bat.
suppose because deep down I know that
if I don’t play I will venture into depression And then, of course, we have a game on
and dark places. Saturday mornings. It’s called ‘Attack’, and
it’s a beautiful time when the girls and I
People say it’s been a long, rough, literally attack my husband while he is still
hard year. And they’re right. I worked and fast asleep. He hates it. I love it. It always
worked and worked. But I also challenged ends in tears because we all get quite
myself by taking two months off work. physical. Pillow fighting, full-on wrestling,
children biting, it’s hardcore and it is never
ENottoloaf,buttostepintoanotherrole
anything less than a full half-hour of
super playful downtime.

I don’t think any of this is about

project managing our family cottage. discovering an inner child. I think it’s

In gumboots and beanies, I became a just a decision we need to make, that Interview: Keith Bain, Pictures: Sven Kristian,
Oliver Denker/shutterstock.com
regular at hardware stores. I hung out adulthood might involve growing

with other builders and for a while I even up, but needn’t necessarily be so

whistled like one. In an insane moment serious. I think that’s the secret:

I even considered switching careers. We’ve got to stop

I guess it was taking ourselves

great to immerse so seriously. And

myself in something play more.

20 NOVEMBER 2017 kulula.com



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24 NOVEMBER 2017

TRIPWORTHY THE GUIDE

worGUtIhDe E

th travelling f
Words: Keith Bain, Photograph: Nick Aldridge

or
P art of a series of images depicting your inner primate is one of the central champagne brunches, a roller disco, and a
scenes of playful discovery by themes of ‘The Human Animal’, a primal dance floor on which to play and express
photographer Nick Aldridge, movement workshop offered by Sumares yourself. You can read Sumares’s thoughts
what you’re seeing is movement coach at Retreat Yourself, a music and lifestyle on the importance of play in daily life,
Richard-Dean Sumares monkey-crawling festival with a difference happening near particularly as an antidote to organised
along a tree trunk in a Constantia forest. Cape Town in March 2018. Aside from fitness regimes, on page 130, and you can
The photo hints at the ancient connection participatory workshops exploring various see more of Nick’s photographic work
between human exploration and the body’s approaches to yoga, mindfulness and at nickaldridge.net. For festival details,
instinctive desire to play. Connecting with wellbeing, there’ll be chefs preparing visit retreatyourself.co.za.

kulula.com NOVEMBER 2017 25

THE GUIDE ON OUR RADAR playTIME TO

1 2 1 Rock of Ages, the of single-use plastic items on the 30th.
Broadway musical adapted into Then there’s the ever-popular movie
3 a Tom Cruise film of the same screening on Clifton beach on 2 December,
4 and a film festival at The Labia from 7 to
name, will be taking audiences on 10 December. wavescapefestival.com
5
6 a wild, debauched ride through the 4 Test your MTB mettle against some
exhilarating single-track on the mountains
26 NOVEMBER 2017 shenanigan-filled glam rock mania of around Stellenbosch during the two-day
BUCO Origin Of Trails stage race. It
the 1980s. Featuring 28 anthems by the happens on 25 and 26 November and
there’s a choice of three distances.
likes of Styx, Twisted Sister, Pat Benatar, stillwatersports.com

Poison, Foreigner and REO Speedwagon, 5 These Shimansky ‘My Girl’ earrings
feature round diamonds set in 18K white
the story also showcases massive egos, gold. They can be created to your
specifications and are available at
epic hairstyles and scintillating guitar Shimansky stores nationwide, including
the new Shimansky Rockwell Showroom
solos. It plays at Gold Reef City’s Lyric in De Waterkant, Cape Town, where there’s
an interactive design studio, a unique
theatre from 17 November to 10 opportunity to polish diamonds under the
guidance of master craftsmen, and a
December. goldreefcity.co.za lounge serving wine and local craft gins.
shimansky.com
2 With most shows long sold out,
Yusuf Islam, aka Cat Stevens, is 6 Bring your cozzie and your lilo, your
performing in Joburg, Cape Town and armbands and your dancing shoes and
Durban this month as part of his make your way to Swellendam for the
‘Peace Train Tour’, marking the 50th third annual River Republic music festival
on 24–26 November. The line-up
anniversary of his debut album,
Matthew & Son. showtime.co.za

7 3 Cape Town’s annual
Wavescape festival kicks
off on 20 November with an
exhibition of surfboards

decorated by artists such
as Brett Murray. These
will be auctioned on
the 28th, followed by a
precautionary exhibition

kulula.com



THE GUIDE ON OUR RADAR

9 includes The Kiffness and high-quality camera and a range of control
Nomadic Orchestra, and the options. It’s available from weFix in six
waterside location at Round colours. wefix.co.za
the Bend Lodge on the Breede
River is golden. Festival-goers get 11 Exciting news for anyone involved in
a free Savanna cider on arrival, just before the fashion and fabric industries: Over 150
climbing aboard the shuttle to the venue. exhibitors representing ten countries will
riverrepublic.co.za showcase their clothing, textile, footwear
and fashion accessory collections at the
8 7 Super-smart, brilliantly funny, and not ATF Trade Exhibition at the CTICC in
10 known for pulling any punches, John Cape Town from 21 to 23 November.
Vlismas is South African comedy royalty. atfexpo.co.za
12 His current show, The Good Racist, is best
described as a TED Talk on steroids, laced 12 Based on the 1997 film about six
14 with hard-hitting humour. Catch it at out-of-work, out-of-shape men who decide
Montecasino’s Pieter Toerien Studio to band together to create a strip show for
28 NOVEMBER 2017 Theatre in Joburg until 26 November. ladies, The Full Monty has been adapted
computicket.com into an award-winning Broadway musical.
Filled with wit, wisdom and underpants,
11 8 Cape Town Opera’s latest the show is coming to the Roxy Revue Bar Words: Keith Bain, Pictures: Danie Coetzee, Tobias Ginsberg, Tom Beard, Mark Sampson, Manuel Harlan, supplied
adventuresome production is The Magic at GrandWest in Cape Town from 10 to 25
Flute, a much-loved Mozart masterpiece November. quicket.co.za
about a pair of lovers who learn that only
music can help them survive ‘death’s dark 13 Scottish alternative pop-rocker
night’. Artscape Theatre, 23 November– Sharleen Spiteri will be in South Africa
10 December, capetownopera.co.za. next month, along with her beautiful voice
and her band, Texas. They’ll perform at
9 Dancer and choreographer, Kirstenbosch Gardens on 8 December and
at Emmarentia Dam in Joburg on 10
Mthuthuzeli November, will perform his December. webtickets.co.za

first major commission, ‘Sun – the 14 Fans of super-muddy trail runs,
2m-high climbing walls, leopard crawls,
Rite of Passage’, as part of river traverses, rope and net climbing,
sewer pipes and lugging tyres will get a
Interplay, a short season of kick out of the next instalment of the
IMPI Challenge, happening at Wiesenhof
13 diverse work by the acclaimed Wildlife Park in Stellenbosch on 18 and 19
Cape Dance Company. Expect a November. impichallenge.co.za
mix of popular and newly-

choreographed pieces from athletic

dancers. It’s happening at Artscape

Theatre, Cape Town, from 4 to 11

November. capedancecompany.co.za

10 If, after reading about the growing 15 Catch Senegalese singing sensation,
usefulness of drones on page 147, you Ismaël Lo, for a sunset concert at
can’t live without your very own flying Kirstenbosch Gardens in Cape town on 19
robot, check out Spark, a mini drone with November. It’s his first appearance in SA in
plenty of cool features including a almost a decade. webtickets.co.za

15 kulula.com



Nestled off the shores of the Atlantic Ocean and overlooking
the West Coast Nature Reserve lies Mile 16 Private Beach Estate.
Located in the popular seaside town of Yzerfontein – which is
known for its pristine beaches, safety and abundance of seafood
– Mile 16 provides every resident a wonderful quality of living.
Whenever visitors arrive in Yzerfontein, they are overwhelmed
by the natural beauty that surrounds this development, which
includes 16 Mile Beach, one of South Africa’s most pristine and
longest uninterrupted natural beaches.

Plots from only R599 900

• Security development
• 45 minutes from Cape Town
• Walking distance to shops
• Within 100m of beach and

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• Plot sizes from 400sqm
and upwards

Scheun 082 721 2891

Michelle 083 679 4889

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PLAY IN THE BAY THE GUIDE

Port ElizabethCITYSLICKER
With its award-winning beaches, warm-water bathing and laidback
lifestyle, Mzansi’s ‘Friendly City’ is one gorgeous playground.

Surf and swim

The recently-upgraded Shark
Rock Pier on Hobie Beach shares
centre stage with the Boardwalk
Hotel complex and is the gathering
place for people to watch the
swimmers and surfski paddlers
out at sea. Take the plunge and go
snorkelling or splash out on some
ocean kayaking – hire gear at Pro Dive
Watersport Centre.
prodiveportelizabeth.activitar.com

kulula.com NOVEMBER 2017 31

Swig and schmooze Run and refuel

PE’s essential charm is that it’s laid back and unassuming. The Beershack PE’s beachfront promenade is
exemplifies this ‘come as you are’ attitude and offers a range of craft beers always packed with locals making
‘without the pretentiousness’ paired with substantial burgers unofficially rated the most of the balmy weather. Join
by locals as being the best on the block (order the beef burger topped with in and get the blood pumping with
cheese and bacon, and opt for a side of zucchini fries). Beershack is close to a parkrun – a wildly popular 5km
Kings Beach, overlooks the promenade, and is a prime spot from which to (and free) Saturday morning fun run
people-watch. 1 Dolphins Leap Centre, Marine Drive, 041 582 2354 starting at Hobie Beach. You may
see dolphins gliding through the
Feast and cavor t waves close to shore while you jog
by. Afterwards, grab a coffee and
Over weekends the beachfront’s myriad restaurants breakfast (order the ‘Millers’ poached
and bars buzz. The Blue Waters Café is perennially eggs with avocado, smoked salmon
popular so book ahead for a table with a view. Order and cream cheese) on the deck at
the fresh linefish and finish up with a guilty treat: Something Good Roadhouse (041
583 6986, somethinggoodroadhouse.
the legendary Lindt phyllo truffles. Adjoining Blue Waters co.za), a recently refurbished 1950s
is the always-lively Barney’s Tavern, which serves up tasty Port Elizabeth landmark overlooking
pub grub, draught beer and big screen sport. With a live band Pollock Beach. Pollock (or ‘Pipe’ as it’s
on hand, the venue rocks until the early hours. Beachfront known) is a surfing hotspot – and it’s
Boardwalk, Marine Drive, 041 583 4110, bluewaterscafe.co.za where the young and beautiful like to
strut their stuff.
parkrun.co.za/pehobiebeach

Sail the seas and savour the seafood

Port Elizabeth is dubbed ‘the Bottlenose Dolphin Capital of the World’ and while you’ll probably
spot numerous pods in the bay, the best way to see them up close is on a wildlife sea cruise.
Raggy Charters offers a three-hour expedition starting from the Algoa Bay Yacht Club where
you’ll board the catamaran at 8:30am. During your cruise it’s possible to see dolphins, whales,
sharks and penguins – if you’re lucky you’ll see them all. Incidentally, Sunday lunch at the Yacht
Club’s Chartroom Restaurant (041 585 2893, abyc.co.za/chartroom-restaurant) is something of an
institution. Mingle with the yachting community at the bar, sit on the deck for the harbour views,
and summon up one of their popular hake, calamari and prawn platters. raggycharters.co.za

32 NOVEMBER 2017 kulula.com

PLAY IN THE BAY THE GUIDE

Go up the hill and down the street

In the quaint suburb of Richmond Hill, just five minutes from the
beachfront, Stanley Street has a curious mix of restaurants, bars and
sidewalk cafés. Restaurants come and go but the stalwart on the strip
is Fushin, which serves Asian food with a twist. Try the ‘New York’
uramaki, a California roll crammed with fresh tuna and avocado and
topped with tempura prawns. If you prefer bistro-style dining, try the
hickory chicken medallions with a walnut and stilton sauce at Flava (041
811 3528). Have something sweet with a kick at Salt (30 Stanley Street,
041 582 2402), a vibrant ‘restrobar’ which also serves an extensive
range of cocktails – the ‘chocolate jar’ is an adult milkshake combining
chocolate milk with liqueur and vodka. 041 811 7874, fushin.co.za.

Words: John Edwards, Pictures: Supplied fHoeradsusnosuetth and stay Sleep and sip and swir l

After lunch, head southwards It takes a mere five minutes in your hired car to
along Marine Drive to nearby Cape get from the airport to the beachfront areas
Recife Nature Reserve. This of Humewood and Summerstrand on
wild, deserted stretch of pristine Marine Drive, and The Boardwalk Hotel
beach and fynbos vegetation is is where you want to be – it’s perfectly
marvellously tranquil after the located and has a host of restaurants
beachfront hubbub, and is best and bars, gaming arcades and shops
explored on foot via a series of and a casino to keep everyone
well-maintained trails. Observe entertained. Plus, this month the
the varied birdlife and seek out the Boardwalk Convention Centre hosts
WWII military observation post; the Port Elizabeth Wine Show (23–24
you certainly won’t miss the black November), with over 150 top vintages
and white striped lighthouse which and varietals to be sipped and swirled,
rises up from the rocky shore with swallowed or spat – and there’ll be food
a wide blue sky as its backdrop. and wine pairings, and a chance to meet
As you exit the conservancy, stop the winemakers. Beach Road, Summerstrand,
at Ziggy’s Rock and Reggae suninternational.com/boardwalk
Bar (041 583 3789) at the Pine
Lodge Resort for sundowners. It’s
a relaxed restaurant and bar and
practically on the beach with a deck
that allows for an uninterrupted
sea view. caperecife.co.za

kulula.com NOVEMBER 2017 33

THE GUIDE NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH

playgroundTHEPALACE

Spitting distance from OR Tambo International, Quack, quack
Emperors Palace is one of those humongous, monolithic
casino resort-style playgrounds designed to keep adults It’s not just their facial hair and freshly-
entertained around-the-clock, with just enough family-geared gymmed bods that have made Rubber Duc
fun and games to make sure no-one feels left out. such a popular music act. The four-man
band is known for uplifting melodies and
Sofleeepvewryitthhiinngwalking distance Play with your senses catchy tunes that teeter between pop, folk
and swing. Emperors Palace is hosting the
A shuttle swoops you up from the airport Emperors Palace is home to one of Nu awesome foursome for six instalments of
and minutes later you’re set down in front Metro’s most advanced multi-sensory The Rubber Duc Experience – an afternoon
of one of four hotels within the Palace’s movie-watching experiences – an or evening of food, beer buckets and
vast grounds, each one catering to a effects-laden 4DX cinema. Perhaps more cocktails, selfie booths and celebratory
different price bracket. D’Oreale Grande is like being on a funfair ride than merely music – perfect for a year-end treat.
the swankiest of the four, with compact, watching a film, adding elements such Red Roman Shed, 22 November to
comfortable rooms and a rather grand as wind, water spray, motion, scents and 7 December, 011 928 1231,
buffet breakfast overlooking the gardens. lightning effects is designed to make the emperorspalace.com
The themed amenities are hilarious: movie literally come alive, so that you’re in
You can feast at Aurelia’s restaurant, the world of the film rather than observing Crowning glory
salve off muscle fatigue at Octavia’s Day from the outside. Plus, you can expect your
Spa, sink cocktails at Neptune’s Pool seat to wobble and shake and tilt in synch If you’re tired of
Bar – all encrusted in acres of marble with the onscreen 3D action and the Dolby seeing accolades
and reproduction art. It’s not entirely a 7.1 surround sound – it’s achieved using being heaped upon
trip back to Roman times, though, since a computerised servo motoring system, unwed and inexperienced
a stroll along the carpeted passageways rather than with hydraulics, which makes members of a younger
soon lands you in the heart of the casino for pretty realistic simulated movement. generation, then the Mrs South
or at the door to any one of the numerous numetro.co.za Africa Grand Finale is sure to put a smile
venues where all kinds of modern-day on your face. These grown-up women
entertainments will be happening. have not only celebrated their nuptials, Words: Keith Bain; Pictures: Supplied
emperorspalace.com but many also have endured the rigours
of motherhood – this pageant is a chance
for them to showcase what it takes to
combine inner and outer beauty in an
all-round, attention-grabbing package.
Theatre of Marcellus, 17 November,
mrssouthafrica.co.za, computicket.com

34 NOVEMBER 2017 kulula.com



THE GUIDE DEALBREAKER

Home Rooms at
BASE Waterstone Lodge
go for R1 190 per night per
For that stay-at-home feeling close to nature and couple, including breakfast.
just a stone’s throw from the heart of prestigious 126 Irene Avenue, Somerset
winelands, Waterstone Lodge offers smart digs, West, 021 855 0332,
gentle pampering and great rates. waterstonelodge.co.za.

V isually arresting, the Helderberg but leave you in peace to really savour
basin is a serene, sumptuous your own piece of Helderberg heaven.
foothold below the magnificent
The lodge is a good base from which

crag-torn mountains that dominate to explore the nature that’s on your
Somerset West. Its wraparound beauty doorstep. Even if you can only manage a
and countryside proximity is why this fast- one kilometre walk, a visit to the nearby
expanding winelands town sandwiched Helderberg Nature Reserve is a must. It

between the mountains and the sea has a has trails catering to every fitness level.
reputation for some of the most expensive For those who can manage the walk up to
residential property prices in the country. the top of the Helderberg, the views are

Not only is the scenery breathtaking, but simply breathtaking. If you’re more serious
it shelters several of our grandest wine about playing in the mountains, the trail
farms, a nature reserve to rival the world’s running is phenomenal (you may just want
best, and an energy that quietens and to return for the Helderberg Mountain

restores your soul. Challenge next August). Words: Raina Julies, Pictures: undrey/
There are a few full-blown hotels in the If you’re here to take it easy, though, shutterstock.com, Supplied.

area, but for true laissez-faire cred and swop out your Fitbit and adrenaline gear

a sense of returning home, Waterstone for flip-flops, sun hat, and a relaxed
Lodge is a wonderful treat, priced just attitude as you go in search of the best
right. It has the appeal of a guesthouse, wine farms, gourmet restaurants and
run with panache and imbued with telling picnic spot. The Lourensford Market is

personal touches – artworks and décor open Friday evenings and Sundays 1am till
that reveal a narrative of the owners – plus 3pm, and is like an epicurean trip around
there’s the quiet presence of staffers
the world with space to entertain the

who let you know you’re not alone, kids, and live bands.

36 NOVEMBER 2017 kulula.com



PLAY
WITH

foodYOUR
Anna Trapido
wonders if, in our
quest to innovate
with food, we
sometimes forget
that nourishment is
the real name of
the game.

38 NOVEMBER 2017 kulula.com

EPICUREAN TALES THE GUIDE

H ypocrisy (and inconsistency)
thy name is gourmet grown
up. Almost all of our offspring
spend their first year being told that each
approaching spoon is an aeroplane and
every sliver of toast is a soldier. Then they
get teeth and parents do a nutritional
about-face. ‘Don’t play with your food’
becomes the order of the day. Anything
other than mindless cut-chew-swallow
is reprimanded. Epicurean opinions are
discouraged. And yet, through it all,
adults engage in endless foodie
frolics. What is sauce for the
goose is clearly not sauce for
the goslings.

When Stellenbosch chef
Richard Carstens at Tokara
(tokararestaurant.co.za) serves
pork belly with pommes Anna,
kimchi and butternut puree he
is deliberately playing with East
meets West fusion flavour combinations.

When Joburg’s Lollipop League
(thelollipopleague.co.za) inverts
our assumptions about the
childish content of their
sweetie suckers with
adult elements (such
as tequila, gin and tonic,
brandy and cola) they
are playing with
our preconceptions.

kulula.com NOVEMBER 2017 39

THE GUIDE EPICUREAN TALES

Ditto the Thai green curry gimmicky serving dishes. Their online Top: Grown-
martini at The Pop (Pot) Luck lampooning of casseroles in jam jars, ups are strapped in for
Club in Johannesburg salads on ping pong bats and slates galore an elevated 'dining in the
(themarabiclub.com). One can has 95 000 social media followers. sky' experience; while, below,
but hope that the turmeric-flavoured adults attend play-play medieval
ice cream at Unframed Ice Cream, Cape Adults amuse each other with frivolous banquets at Greensleeves, and
Town (unframed.co.za) isn't just hipster delivery methods (Oppikoppi music festival wear blindfolds for 'dining in
food fadism gone mad. Either way it’s a delivered beer by drone last year) and
funny form of edible ingredient play. add enjoyment by altering the location the dark' sensory
There is no nutritional benefit to the of lunches. Joburg’s Dinner in the experiences (bottom).
bright colouring and warak (edible silver Sky (sky-events.co.za) will engage a
leaf) garnish on the awadhi sweet treats crane to lift your table 50 metres
at Shalimar Delights House of Quality into the air, while Dining in the Dark
Sweetmeats in Fordsburg, Joburg, but it is (dininginthedark.co.za) organises
pretty and playful. There is no preserving nationwide events at which diners stumble
purpose behind Cape Town’s La Colombe into a world without vision (complete
restaurant serving tuna with ponzu and with blindfolds and a ban on all light-
ginger in a teeny-tiny tin can complete emitting devices) in order to heighten their
with ring pull (lacolombe.co.za). They do sense of taste and smell. Greensleeves
it to entertain the eater. And (greensleeves.co.za) in Sterkfontein serves
it does most of the time.
Such fiddling with food a muddle of ye olde medieval dress
and drink is not to up and dine. Waitresses are
everyone’s taste – referred to as wenches.
the We Want Plates Bodices and bell
Twitter campaign sleeves abound.
rails against such Moyo offers a similarly
ahistorical, inauthentic
eating experience at

40 NOVEMBER 2017 kulula.com



THE GUIDE EPICUREAN TALES

which Afro-Disney meets King Solomon’s SPORT FAST: FROM RUGBY BRAAIS TO KFC SMACKDOWNS
mines (moyo.co.za). Face painting,
drumming and Heart of Darkness Rugby fans have their boerewors rolls Too lazy to pitch a pineapple? Can’t
pastiche is always the order of the day.
The trouble with almost all themed and tennis types know the pleasure face shearing skaapstertjies at speed?
restaurant ‘experiences’ is that the playful
concept takes priority over everything else. of sco ng strawberries and cream ere are food-related games for
Food and service are generally secondary.
And so it is with all of the above. while watching Wimbledon. Why eat aging couch potatoes hooked on the

Playing with food brings the fine line and observe others play when there Pavlovian response induced by Pac
between florid menu language and lying
ever closer. Spiralising courgette doesn’t are sports that can be played using Man’s frenzied swallowing race around
make it spaghetti. Cauliflower can never
be rice no matter how small you chop edible equipment? e Calvinia Meat the screen. Younger gourmet gamers
it up. Nor can it make a pizza base. Or a
brownie. Yes, playing with food can make Festival’s skaapstertjies eating event favour drunken hit and run raids
you go blind (see Dining in the Dark) but
for every idiot who becomes convinced requires competitors to shear slivers on Grand e Auto’s Well Stacked
that kale ice cream is a thing, there is a
sensible soul for whom playing with food of esh from a docked lamb’s tail. e Pizza Company where the characters
induces mindful manners. So often we
eat on autopilot, not thinking about or Robertson Wacky Wine Weekend bear an uncanny resemblance to
truly tasting our food. This can lead to
unhealthy food choices and over-eating. o ers competitive cheese rolling. Gauteng’s East Rand izikhothane
Developing a playful attitude to the
contents of our plates may encourage Bathurst Agricultural Show includes cliques. Izikhothane engage a form
some of us to bring considered behaviour
to the dinner table. It can decrease binge a pineapple throwing contest. e of ritualised warfare fought through
and emotional eating and help us feel
more satisfied with the quality, not just the Cullinan Mampoer Festival holds an destruction of symbols of wealth. It’s
quantity of our food.
annual ‘bokdrol spoeg’ competition a swag battle South African style. e
The trouble with this kind of playing is
that it isn’t always enjoyable. Schoolyard in which contestants spit mampoer- rules are simple: he who damages the
cool and uncool cliques easily arise.
Restaurants ought to exist to please soaked kudu droppings. Shaun van most expensive loot wins. At some
customers but there is a growing gourmet
genre in which diners feign pleasure at Rensburg is the current bokdrol point someone runs out of stu to
food that they neither like nor understand
for fear of being judged by the waiters and/ spoeg champion with an unnervingly incinerate or crush and they lose. e
or chef. Ultimately it is the quality of the
play that matters. Play must be fun – impressive record of 15.56 metres. No obliteration of expensive designer
and if it’s not then you are doing it wrong.
Even if it doesn’t do to admit that owning one under 18 is allowed to spit booze- clothes has been much reported on
Star Wars Lightsaber chopsticks is just
plain fun. soaked antelope droppings. is is but the battles fought through food are

indisputably a grown up game. just as common. Large quantities of

prestigious party treats such as Ultra

Mel custard and Johnny Walker Black

are sipped and then deliberately spat

out. Buckets of high status KFC are

thrown on the ground and trampled

on by the designer shoes which are Pictures: Supplied.

then themselves burnt because as

the izikhothane say ‘the shoes have

nished eating and now they are full!’

42 NOVEMBER 2017 kulula.com





BACKSTAGE THE GUIDE

yoooooou…HE’S BEHIND
South Africa’s queen of pantomime, Janice Honeyman,
is back with another rollicking joyride of family fun…

‘ I t starts with four simple words,’ Although broadly formulaic and
says Janice Honeyman: ‘Once based on well-known folk and fairytales,
upon a time…’. And she should pantomime leaves a lot of room for playing
know. Her shows have been sending
families into paroxysms of laughter around with the plot. A pantomime
for decades. She’s staged so many is ultimately a theatrical patchwork
pantomimes, she’s lost count. ‘I do know with lots of borrowing, blending
panto,’ she says. ‘The storytelling, the old and familiar story angles with
battle of good and evil, the hero contemporary elements and current
winning in the end. All of that
is terribly important. Intrinsic affairs, all to comic effect.
things we all need in our lives. And why To fill an auditorium for a season
pantomime is worthwhile.’ of 72 performances, Honeyman runs
a tight ship – they have one month to
This year, Honeyman has directed rehearse. Three days into rehearsals,
Pinocchio for what is in and Pinocchio, which Honeyman first
fact her 30th annual adapted into a pantomime in 2009,
pantomime stint at
the Joburg Theatre,
but even those
who’ve never seen
one of her shows will have some inkling
what they’re about. Slapstick pratfalls,
outrageous cross-dressing, popular tunes
and wide-scale buffoonery, all packaged
into a rollicking tale designed to reel
youngsters in, get them involved. And for
adults, there are bits of bawdy innuendo,
naughty ‘nudge-nudge, wink-wink’ asides
and even up-to-date political jibes.

kulula.com NOVEMBER 2017 45

THE GUIDE BACKSTAGE

will have been blocked, with actors factor, too. Pantomime traditionally SOMETHING BORROWED, Words: Keith Bain, Pictures: Mariola Biela, Julia Sudnitskaya/shutterstock.com, Alvaro Cabrera Jimenez/shutterstock.com
already expected to start putting down employs at least one big-name celebrity SOMETHING BLUE
their scripts. ‘It’s a jol and I laugh more in with grown-up pulling power and enough
October than any other time of year,’ says awesome stage presence to enthral Some of panto’s weirdest traditions
Honeyman. ‘We all have fun. But it’s very children – theatre legend Tobie Cronjé have ancient roots. e Greeks
disciplined, and there’s a high work ethic. and singer André Schwartz are this did a form of pantomime that was
Each year the actors lose a kilo or two in year’s biggies, while TV stars Chi Mhende vehemently sexual, and having some
performance sweat. They sing, they dance, (Wandile in Generations: The Legacy) of the characters played by actors
they act. Some days they do three shows.’ and Garth Collins (Granite in Gladiators) of another gender goes back to the
play Pussy Galore, the villainous cat, and Roman Saturnalia, a midwinter pagan
To keep the production relevant and Strombolio, the ringmaster, respectively. feast when natural order was turned
grounded in the now, pantomimes tap on its head, and reverse-gender role-
into the spirit of everyday life, referencing It’s a battle between the forces of good play took over.
contemporary culture, from politics to and evil, and although you know that
pop music. These components also make good will triumph, children are made Having the principal boy played by
the show part of the audience’s reality, to believe that they can influence the a comely lass in tight- tting kit was
says Honeyman. ‘Being able to adapt the outcome. Ultimately, when hundreds popular throughout the last century;
story into a modern, localised context of wildly excited, enchanted youngsters children barely noticed, and grown ups
with relevant jokes, quotations from (and grown-ups) scream out ‘He’s behind de nitely didn’t mind.
current television adverts, and songs yoooooooou!’ to warn Pinocchio that
you’ve heard while pushing your one of the villains is lurking, it’s not just One odd tradition is borrowed from
supermarket trolley around, means people that they want to participate, but that medieval passion plays: Good fairies
can believe that the show’s they really want good to defeat evil. always enter from stage right, which
written specifically for them.’ They know whose side they’re on. once symbolised heaven, while forces
of evil arrived from the le – which
Investing in the right And so, for all their megalithic silliness, was hell.
people is a critical stuffed bras and innuendo, knockabout,
Pantomimes always incorporate
Pinocchio shenanigans and broad slapstick comedy that’s meant
opens on The Mandela slapstick hilarity, to have young audiences in stitches
stage at Joburg Theatre on ‘we shouldn’t forget – it’s a technique that goes back to
12 November and plays until the importance Commedia dell’Arte, centuries-old
30 December; joburgtheatre.com. of sincerity,’ European street theatre.
In Durban, another panto – says Honeyman.
a swashbuckling Sinbad – is in the ‘Pantomime reflects Today’s naughty bits are far tamer
offing, opening at the Elizabeth an optimistic than the overt erotic stu the Greeks
dream: That good went for. Mostly, it’s innuendo that ies
Sneddon Theatre triumphs.’ right over children’s heads, stu they
on 1 December. won’t understand but grown-ups nd
sneddontheatre.co.za terribly funny.

Well, that’s the theory, at least. ‘ ese
days children are so sophisticated, they
get all the rude jokes,’ says Honeyman.
‘Double entendre doesn’t work as well
as it used to.’

46 NOVEMBER 2017 kulula.com



THE GUIDE BACKSTAGE

Evita is playing
in Joburg at The Teatro,
Montecasino, until 26
November. It’ll transfer to
the Artscape Opera, Cape
Town, on 1 December, where
it’ll run until 7 January.

computicket.com

48 NOVEMBER 2017 operaROCKING
It’s a double-edged Cinderella tale layered
with political cynicism, tenderness and
award-winning tunes that will have you
singing in the shower long after the show.
Carla Hüsselmann lifts the curtain on
a new world-class production of Evita that
you can see right now.

kulula.com