KHULUMA December 2019

SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE EXPERIENCE

Words: Keith Bain, Lesley Stones, Pictures: D.Yusupov, Jesse Kramer, Supplied Totally fABBA-ulous, ja? Popcorn and ballet

Sweden has produced many great innovations, from Volvo to Ikea. Screenings of filmed European stage productions
And, of course in 1972, out popped ABBA, an awesome foursome happen on Mondays at The Fugard Theatre as part
who managed to make a splash globally with their highly of its 2020 Fugard Bioscope World Arts Cinema
danceable, earworm-inducing pop tunes. From ‘Dancing Queen’ Season. Shows this month include The Bolshoi Ballet’s
to ‘Super Trouper’ to ‘The Winner Takes It All’, their music spans production of The Nutcracker, being screened on
73 singles and eight studio albums. This month, Aussie ABBA 23 December. And on 6 January, you can watch Oscar
impersonators, ABBAsolutely fAABAulous are bringing The ABBA Wilde’s A Woman of No Importance, a comedy about a
Show to South Africa. The show’s a full-scale high-energy concert louche English lord, an earnest young American woman,
production featuring a live backing band, replica costumes, and and an innocent young man who join a house party of fin
lots of whizz-bang lights and effects and moments of interaction de siècle fools and grotesques. Each film is shown twice
that’ll have you dancing in your seat – or in the aisles. See it at – at 3pm and 7pm, and there’s pizza, popcorn and a full
Joburg’s Carnival City on 7 December, Sibaya’s iZulu Theatre from bar, too. thefugard.com
13 December to 12 January, or at the Grand Arena, GrandWest in
Cape Town on 18 January. theabbashow.com.au Weird-free zone

Kahn Morbee, lead singer of The Parlotones, says he doesn’t
understand music that’s weird for the sake of being weird. ‘I don’t
think I could do weird even if I tried,’ he says. ‘My music is always
going to sound melodic, because that’s the kind of music that
inspired my infatuation with music in the first place. What’s the point
of being weird? In ancient times, songs were how people told stories
and shared memories. Or they’d be used to mourn or celebrate
something. If it’s weird and discordant it becomes about something
else.’ Kahn says the important thing for him is that the music should
‘move you’, touch you emotionally. ‘I’m not saying that’s the only way
to make music, but that’s our way.’ And there are plenty of fans out
there who agree. If you’re one of them, you can catch The Parlotones
at the Rockwood Theatre, Sibaya Casino, just north of Durban, on
19 and 20 December. rockwoodtheatre.co.za

kulula.com DECEMBER 2019 49

50 DECEMBER 2019 kulula.com

WATER SPORTS EXPERIENCE

It’s December, it’s hot, it’s sweaty, and everyone wants to chill.
Ideally surrounded by music and possibly also by cool, inviting water
for a refreshing plunge. Lesley Stones pools a few upcoming music

festivals with wet and watery memories from their artists.

an any other musician in the world boast of a previous career as an international
high-diving champion?

Local mermaid DJ Doowap (real name: Khetsiwe Morgan, pictured left) was
South Africa’s springboard diving heroine for years, wowing us with spectacular
10-metre double-backflips. Then she discovered parties, bass-driven jungle music,
seedy underground clubs in London, and swapped diving for the mixing desk.

Doowap – who mixes hip-hop, grime and gqom with dazzling lighting and a dance
team for which she choreographs herself – will be performing at Vic Falls Carnival this month.
She’ll also perform her own material, including her pop-influenced debut single ‘4cus’. ‘I’m going
to DJ and drop my original music and dance, then go back behind the decks, so it’s going to be
a combination of skills,’ she says. ‘I’ve always been an overachiever.’

Doowap spent years training in Canada and the UK for her diving career. ‘I’ve always been a mermaid
obsessed with water. But in the UK, I ended up partying and realised there’s a whole other world out
there, and diving fell to the side,’ she says.

She dived again recently for a Nike advert and was delighted to find the double flip routine came
back naturally despite a decade’s neglect. So if her Vic Falls gig leaves her heady with euphoria she
might fancy high diving into the Zambezi. Hopefully she’ll settle for a bungee jump instead.

The carnival is, of course, set against the unbeatable backdrop of one of the Seven Natural
Wonders of the World. This year’s line-up includes dance music DJ Prince Kaybee; Zafari, with
African electronic music; and Samkelo ‘Samthing Soweto’ Mdolomba, who blends R&B, jazz and
township marabi. The whole festival is about more than having a jol and listening to great music,
though. There’s a train ride to a secret party location, and during the day, revellers are encouraged to
experience some of the adventure and nature-based activities that Vic Falls is known for.
29–31 December, vicfallscarnival.com

kulula.com DECEMBER 2019 51



WATER SPORTS EXPERIENCE

If you’re over 30, the language of Vortex might wash right over you. On the other The video for Ami Faku’s song ‘Inde Lendlela’ (‘I’ve
hand, there’s always a solid contingent of old-school trance-heads at these come a long way’) begins with a couple sitting in sad
multiday hard-partying festivals that take their cue from the gatherings that silence by a swimming pool. ‘It’s about relationships
happened in Goa way back in the 1980s. Vortex is a five-day festival with three and feeling like you don’t want to let go, even though
dance floors of mind-altering psytrance, techno, prog and wubby-dubby. And
perhaps some wacky baccy too. Afterwards, realign your chakras with yoga the person isn’t good for you. The reflection in the
by the river. water allows me to reflect on myself and reflect on

A different sort of flow will come from Warren Barnard, who plays with fire the pain I’m in,’ says the songstress.
as he dances to the music. Barnard will mostly perform at the HeartSpace Faku (below) will perform her mellow Afro-pop with
dance floor where the pace is softer and slower. ‘The psytrance dance floor is Xhosa lyrics at this month’s Ebubeleni Festival – it’s
quite hectic, so we’d have to spin really fast, but at HeartSpace we have time to an annual Port Elizabeth favourite and she’s excited
interpret the music,’ he says. to be performing on home turf. She loves her city so
much that she’s named her next song ‘Ebhayi’, the
Fast music with fire dancing sounds spectacular, but if anything goes up in
flames, don’t reach for the water. ‘You can’t use water to put out paraffin flames Xhosa name for PE. ‘I feel a sense of warmth in
because it’s oil, so if you pour water over it, the oil will float and make the fire PE and I feel very content when I’m back home.
bigger,’ he cautions. ‘We have water around us because you get very sweaty
when you swing fire around. But we only put water in our bodies, not on the fire.’ The air is different and the beach plays a big
part of what I miss about it,’ she says.
The 25th Vortex Open Source Festival features 120 artists at an old farm
in Stormsvlei. The organisers have promised to help restore the grounds, so The three-day festival opens with a concert starring
take your gumboots ready to clean the river. The all-out madness includes Cassper Nyovest, Sho Madjozi, Moonchild, DJ
one of the most beautiful party venues in the country, the Endless River, to
cool off in, plus days of endless quality psychedelic trance. 12–16 December, Maphorisa and Zodwa Wabantu. There’s a comedy night
vortextranceadventures.co.za next, before the main event on Sunday, starring Faku,
PE’s R&B and Afro-soul singer-songwriter Zonke,
Vusi Nova and Tsepo Tshola from Lesotho.
27–29 December, facebook.com/EbubeleniFestival

kulula.com DECEMBER 2019 53

EXPERIENCE WATER SPORTS kulula.com

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You can listen to bands performing at Up The Creek while you bob on
a wobbly lilo on the Breede River.

But David Scott (right), lead singer of headline act The Kiffness, won’t
go near the water without a reassuring rubber duck for company. ‘My
earliest memory is falling into the pool when I was two, so I have a love-
hate relationship with water,’ he says. ‘I was very curious because I’d seen
people swimming and I wanted to experience it myself, and I fell in. It was
pea-green so nobody could see where I was, so I think I was down there
for some time, but my dad managed to get me out in time.’

That childhood trauma can still induce mild panic, compounded by
heavy legs that he claims sink rather than swim. ‘Going for swimming
lessons when I was young freaked me out. As soon as I’m in water, I feel
quite vulnerable,’ he says. ‘If I have a tube or a rubber duck I’m okay, and
there’ll be no shortage of those at Up The Creek.’

The Kiffness has played the annual festival near Swellendam three times
already, and this year Scott plans to stay for the whole event. ‘I’ve had so
much FOMO because we’ve played then had to leave and missed

54 DECEMBER 2019



EXPERIENCE WATER SPORTS

the whole point of the festival, which is to chill on the river with 2 000 other
people enjoying all the good vibes.’

Scott will be performing with singer Mathew Gold and saxophone and synth
player Raiven Hansmann in a high energy set of jazzy, uplifting house music.

Their latest single is a cover of Gerry Rafferty’s 1978 hit “Baker Street”. ‘Our
live show is all about horns and mixing in dance, and we’ve turned Baker Street
into a dance track with Raiven doing an epic sax line,’ Scott says.

The festival line-up also boasts Hot Water – on the stage, not necessarily in
the campsite taps. There’s no definitive reason why lead singer Donovan Copley
(right) called his band Hot Water, but he can make up an entertaining tale
involving the warm, welcoming, supportive nature of hot water and its fluidity,
since the band can have anything from two to five members.

Copley’s currently up to his neck in very cold water, challenging himself to
swim in the Atlantic every day at his home in Noordhoek.

He wasn’t making the most of living in one of the world’s most beautiful
places, he says, and needed a way to wrap up his days. ‘So I decided to get into
the sea every day. It’s a test of my commitment as to whether I go through with
what I say I’m going to do. It’s been amazing but tough because when it’s stormy
and freezing and pouring with rain, I’ll still go.’

Seeing nature in all its different moods is incredible, he says, from calming
serenity to rough waves that pummel him like a dishwasher.

Hot Water’s style creates a sense of connectedness and a love of being South
African, with crossover music that blends old and modern, African and western.
Copley plays a ‘can guitar’, traditionally made in townships from wood and wire
on a five-litre oil can with a hole in it, although his is a professional version.

Up The Creek is planning a massive splash to celebrate its 30th anniversary
in February 2020, with more than 50 bands on four stages over four days. Other
artists include the playfully inventive Bombshelter Beast, The Blues Broers
and Albert Frost. It’s on the Breede’s banks overlooking a tranquil creek by the
majestic Overberg mountains. 6–9 February, upthecreek.co.za

Pictures: Supplied

56 DECEMBER 2019 kulula.com





WHAM! BAM! KAPOW! EXPERIENCE

Nobody can resist a caped
crusader dashing around in his underpants thwarting evil.
On the screen they’re amazing, but in Marvel Universe LIVE! all the
mind-blowing stunts, leaps, fights and flights involve real actors
rather than computer-generated wizardry. Lesley Stones peeks

behind the pyrotechnics for the inside scoop

kulula.com DECEMBER 2019 59

T o turn the extensive Marvel Universe into a single, comprehensive work of entertainment, the show’s creative
team has crafted a story specifically for the stage. As a New York bank is being robbed, the Green Goblin taunts
Spider-Man. The Avengers swoop in and discover that Loki has sent Nebula to capture the Wand of Watoomb so he
can use its power to control the universe. The heroes give chase to recover the Wand.

After that, it all gets a bit weird. Loki captures The Avengers; Spider-Man secures the Wand; a volcano erupts;

Stone Soldiers are brought to life; Black Panther smacks down some enemies; and the Hulk gets really angry. All of these

strands of story unfold in a world packed with motorcycle stunts, flying wizardry, pyrotechnics, vast 3D video projections,

lasers, smoke and a kick-ass soundtrack. Yes, well… Maybe the story isn’t as important as the sensory overload, but the idea

is to make jaws drop in amazement while you sit on the edge of your seat hoping the good guys triumph.

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60 DECEMBER 2019 kulula.com

Evil abounds WHAM! BAM! KAPOW! EXPERIENCE

Don’t boo the baddies too much, because if they didn’t exist, we’d No stunt doubles
have no need for heroes. That’s the philosophy of Samuel Lee,
who plays the Green Goblin and holds a degree in psychology. The show’s trickery is fabulous, and we’re
‘The one has to be there for the other to exist,’ he says. not just talking about sneaky sleights of
hand. It’s an awesome blend of martial
‘Sometimes being the villain is more fun. You can be more arts, gymnastics, breakdancing and
playful with it or more menacing – it’s not all the high-chest- parkour that lets the cast leap between
posing kind of thing.’ buildings and perform stunning fight

The Green Goblin zooms in from the sky on a glider hurling sequences. ‘You’re seeing people do
explosives at Spider-Man. ‘I’m not actually throwing them, we a flip off one leg, then twist and throw
have pyrotechnics planted on the stage to give the illusion that I’m a kick before they land,’ says Jaden
blasting him with pumpkin bombs, and as I land, I seem to have Ponce, who plays Spider-Man. ‘It’s
him in my clutches,’ Lee says. ‘Then The Avengers come and we a superpower in its own right.’
have this big battle so it’s mayhem, but it’s awesome – and that’s
all in just one scene.’ Baby-faced Ponce is the perfect pick
to play Spider-Man, because he looks
When the characters speak, all the smack, bang, wallop effects just like Peter Parker before the bug
fade away so you can hear them clearly. One of Lee’s lines is bit. His first scene sees him fly in above
delightful: ‘You’ve spun your last web, Spider-Man.’ He hasn’t, of the audience, swooping from building
course, even though Lee tries to defeat him every day. to building. ‘I come swinging in all the

Lee has had a plethora of injuries over the years. ‘It’s physically way over the crowd, then
demanding and we take a lot of falls, jumping from higher I fight a bunch of bad guys and do flips
platforms to lower platforms, selling a hit, or falling straight on around the stage. I also get to fling out
your back. I’ve been able to recover because we have a really good webs like Spider-Man – that’s really
physiotherapist who helps with anything we need, like a massage cool!’ he grins.
or cupping or scraping.’
The action is all calculated
kulula.com risk, with vivid fights that look
convincing without actually
smashing anyone. ‘We’re punching
towards someone’s face, but our
target is right above the shoulder.

DECEMBER 2019 61

EXPERIENCE WHAM! BAM! KAPOW! Earth-rumbling ructions!

We punch all the e show’s technical crew has its own monsters to deal
way through and get as with, touring with the largest sound rig in the industry
close as we can to the with 96 speakers. at gets scaled up or down depending
head without actually on the arena, while 34 subwoofers deliver a sternum-
connecting, and the
other person has to sell thumping bass boom.
it like they just got hit. ‘When the show rst kicks o , it shakes the entire arena,’
It takes a good amount
of practice.’ says audio technician Kreg Durant. ‘We run at 85 to
90 decibels with one or two peaks where we’ll hit 110, but
Sometimes they it’s not going to damage your ears – we want everyone to have
accidentally whack each
other straight in the face, a pleasant experience!’
he admits. ‘Not too often, Durant is responsible for triggering 3 000 pre-recorded
but mistakes are made,’ sound e ects, watching every movement so the swipes
he says.
and yells coincide perfectly with the action.
e lighting rig is even more impressive. Up to
31 characters can be on stage, each with two or three
spotlights focusing on them. at requires a hi-tech
infrared tracking system that’s also the largest in the
industry. Each character wears a beacon that emits an
infrared signal, which the spotlights follow. ‘To do what
we do without a tracking system would take around

90 spotlight operators,’ Durant says.
e touring group of almost 100 people is equally split
between cast and crew, with the technical kit lling

32 shipping containers.

Pictures: Supplied

62 DECEMBER 2019 kulula.com



EXPERIENCE WHAM! BAM! KAPOW! No Pressure…

Fans unlimited All eyes will be on the Black
Panther, Marvel’s superhero
You don’t need to be a child or even have children
to love the thrill. Its genius lies in seeing all the from Africa. Oops, we
action of a movie unfolding live in front of you. mean Wakanda…
‘When I first watched the show, I thought it was
just going to be a stunt show, but with the visual ‘It’s a big honour to be able to
and audio effects, the costumes, the lighting, the portray T’Challa in Africa,’
pyrotechnics, the smoke and the lasers, it was says actor Will Irizarry. ‘ is
way more than I was expecting,’ Lee says. ‘The is the rst time the Black
characters come to life right in front of you and to Panther has been portrayed
know that we’re performing those effects is even to a live audience, and
more amazing. These guys are literally flying and I speci cally wanted to be
this isn’t computer animation, this is happening for
real for real.’ that character or nothing else.
I feel the most connection
64 DECEMBER 2019
with him with my movement
style and training background.’

Irizarry worked with the
ghting co-ordinator to create
a unique style for his battles,
tailored to suit his love of
tricking. ‘It’s a really athletic
role and I have to train a lot

and try to eat right and
stay hydrated,’

he says. ‘I’m 29, but my body
some days feels like it’s
59 and some days
I feel 19.’

kulula.com





THE THE DARYL HANNAH DIET EXPERIENCE

HANGRY MERMAID
CULINARY GUIDE

Wondering why mermaids Mermaids in Mzansi are nothing
are being spotted more new. A belief in half woman, half
frequently these days? fish water spirits pre-dates colonial
And where they’re most conquest as is evidenced by their
likely to turn up for a meal? depiction at several San rock art sites. There
Our food writer speculates are also 17th-century missionary accounts
describing the sale and use of mermaid teeth
67 MARCH 2019 kulula.com in Southern African traditional medicine.

What is new, however, is the frequency of
encounters. Where once there were occasional
interactions, we now have mermaids splashing
about all over South Africa.

Most of the mermaids in Southern African
waters belong to the subspecies intombi
ntlanzi, although there are also pockets of

kululaD.cEoCmEMBER 2019 67

mamogashwa in Gauteng, North West to run fast and furious. They have the creatures as: ‘Like humans between
Province and Limpopo, and occasionally been observed breast feeding so are head and waist. The females feed
the Kaaiman in the Cape and KZN. The most likely mammals (maybe of the their young at the breast, resembling
mamogashwa has shape-shifting powers monotreme variety like the duck-billed those of human women. They eat on
and often also exists as an underwater platypus) but they do not have the heavy land but they are very shy of humans.’
serpent woman. Both intombi ntlanzi blubber associated with other cold- And who can blame them since Dos
and mamogashwa are sometimes water dwelling mammals so energy Santos claimed not only to have seen
intertwined with twasa sangoma training expensive internal heat generation must such beasts but also ‘tasted them very
rites in which those with a calling are be taking place. It is thus reasonable to often because the natives catch them
drawn into and transformed by mystical assume that, even in ideal conditions, using strong lines and iron hooks and
experiences in an underwater realm. In mermaids need to eat a lot. then they make them into cutlets that
Limpopo, there is a widespread belief resemble pork.’
that 2017’s Cyclone Dineo came about Southern
because scientists stole a river spirit’s African mermaids So, it seems that we are dealing
child and the frantic mermaid mother have historically with a hangry (hungry and angry)
ripped the roofs off houses in her species with a justifiable fear of humans.
attempt to get her baby back. It is not been placated Mzansi mermaids are generally no
known which variety of mermaids made by epicurean more aggressive than those found in
it into the fire-pool at Nkandla in 2014 offerings. Feed other parts of the world but they are
but, if the viral online stories are to be them the right potentially dangerous and drownings
believed, they were caught by former sort of fine do occur. Many such deaths can be
President Zuma’s security staff and food and they attributed to mermaids misunderstanding
handed over to a Durban laboratory for generally calm human behaviour and/or being
further investigation. down and misunderstood by humans. This problem
play nice is particularly common when dealing with
The upsurge in sightings over the mamogashwa who have been known to
past decade can probably be linked to Mermaids are not the only hungry try and take people who are unaware of
ecological degradation of our rivers beasts out there. There are several their spiritual calling into the underwater
and seas. Pollution and rising water Southern African accounts of humans realm and then accidentally drown them
temperatures have negatively impacted eating mermaid flesh. Historian Harold because their relatives don’t know how
upon Southern African aquatic plant J Cook, writing in the journal Kronos to perform the correct rituals to elicit the
life which has altered oxygen levels in 2015, quotes the 1609 account of return journey. Not all interactions are so
and upset Mzansi maritime and riverine a Portuguese Dominican missionary innocent – there are also times when the
food chains. Once seldom seen, named Joäo dos Santos, who worked mamogashwa just gets hungry and feels
starvation and suffocation seem to in what is now Mozambique and met like feasting on a human child’s brain.
be forcing mermaids out of their what he referred to as ‘peixe mulher’
secluded traditional habitats and into (‘woman fish’). Dos Santos described The good news is that Southern
areas with an increased likelihood of African mermaids have historically been
human contact. placated by epicurean offerings. Feed
them the right sort of fine food and they
Worldwide, mermaids are extremely generally calm down and play nice. In
vulnerable to the effects of the climate case you ever find yourself in such a
crisis. Their hybrid anatomy and the position and need to placate or appease
diverse milieus between which they one of our hungry water women, here’s
move require mer-metabolisms the gourmets’ guide…

68 DECEMBER 2019 kulula.com

THE DARYL HANNAH DIET EXPERIENCE

THE CULINARY TABLE, THE ALBA,
LANSERIA CAPE TOWN

Historically the Mtamvuna River is the northern Soothe your siren with The Alba
limit of the Pondoland district of the Eastern Cape. restaurant’s fine food and wine
It is also intombi ntlanzi central. In the past decade, cruise which departs from the V&A
children in the area have repeatedly complained Waterfront. It is South Africa’s first
about being bothered by half-young woman half- fine-dining floating restaurant and
fish creatures who whistle at them on the way to is designed to be smooth on the
school. The whistles are apparently hypnotic and water so that even landlubbers can
have caused the kids to fall asleep at the water’s enjoy their meal without fear that
edge. In order to prevent school absenteeism, they’ll spill their wine or have their
locals regularly make offerings of umqombothi starters slide off the table. The
traditional beer to the water spirits. Adventurous seared sesame tuna and coriander
intombi ntlanzi might like to try the ‘shake-shake’ canapés are superb. Especially
sorghum beer bread made by American Express when enjoyed with beautiful bubbly.
Dining Award winner, The Culinary Table, Lanseria. Best of all, perhaps, is that the
culinarytable.co.za boat is fitted with glass-to-ceiling
windows so that diners can take in
MMWWEUIFRTNHEMHCEAARHTSIHEITDEESS the views of the city’s mountains
with the harbour in the foreground.
Mermaids and their human friends
can set off for brunch (which
includes a hot and cold spread as
well as bottomless MCC), a three-
course wine-paired lunch, afternoon
canapés with wine and cocktails,
and a dinner cruise that leaves at
7pm, so that – over December and
January – you can take in the sunset
while on the water. thealba.co.za

MAR-E-SOL, CAPE TOWN

The river that flows past the Goldrush Morula Sun Hotel in Mabopane, Tshwane is home
to a mermaid with the power of flight. Locals say that she has been observed swooping over the
casino complex and grumbling about excessive noise. In April 2017, The Daily Sun newspaper reported
on an annual ritual performed at the river’s edge by sangomas in conjunction with the SPCA and hotel
staff. The mermaid was offered a slaughtered cow and introduced to the owners of the business. Since the
Mabopane mermaid can fly, it should be no problem for her to make her way to Mar-e-sol restaurant at Cape
Town’s Waterfront for brilliant beef espetada or the exquisite trichando bife with red wine, garlic and chilli sauce.
The crowd-pleasing Portuguese-Mozambican restaurant is also conveniently located for ocean-dwelling mermaids and
mermen, situated as it is at the Pierhead, where they can tuck into plenty more Portuguese favourites – sharing is greatly
encouraged. mar-e-sol.co.za

kulula.com DECEMBER 2019 69

EXPERIENCE THE DARYL HANNAH DIET

THE
CHUEMFH’SLATNAGBALE,

ToAisfnhmoetetcvhehcCeereuTnimhcrh-Deaciefcrnno’aslKuotEkTharsexsaaeenpebimsrCeletbenaaaseopswnsruetgDhmignbewhignourhrtietmneoitcgtehchthrnAoeeymmyuwsuaaweamMlknrsiodelsholnsalwlaletesyinixaoonigvsnmnaetae’eslr
even the hungriest of mermaids
full to bursting.
thechefstable.co.za

WOLFGAT, PATERNOSTER

In 2008, a Kaaiman mermaid disrupted Daniel Cupido’s family braai on the banks of the Buffelsjag River near Swellendam. The Kaaiman is an ancient
resident of the region who frequently appears in Bushman mythology where she has a tendency to drown unsuspecting souls. Given her origins in hunter-gatherer
communities, it seems sensible to treat any Kaaiman you come across with a foraged feast. The obvious epicurean option would be Wolfgat in Paternoster which
specialises in heritage foraged flavours but since it was named Restaurant of the Year by the World Restaurant Awards 2019, your Kaaiman would have to have
major magical powers to secure a table any time soon. wolfgat.co.za

SHORTMARKET CLUB, CAPE TOWN

Hangry Capetonian mermaids and their land-based friends
have long been rather starved for superlative sustenance on
Sunday at suppertime. But that’s all changed thanks to the
team at Shortmarket Club where you can now book a table for
a sumptuous meal to put a proper cap on the weekend. Once
you’ve negotiated the cobblestones and manoeuvred your
tailfin up the stairs, you arrive in a deftly repurposed heritage
attic that’s a treasure trove of wondrous design, on-the-ball
waiters and high-calibre food. Along with the starched white
table cloths and atmosphere of classic grandeur, the great
joy of being here is the chance to indulge in the five-course
tasting menu that showcases just some of what chef Wesley
Randles has been dreaming up. This will dispel any fears of
missing out on the variety of imaginative flavours – by the
time you’ve polished off the tuna tartare, the duck liver and
foie gras parfait, the butter roasted lobster and the roasted
quail, you’ll be sufficiently satisfied to take it slow as you
savour each mouthful of chocolate glacé, a rich and decadent
dessert that’s tempered with marmalade shortcake and burnt
white chocolate ice cream. The pleasurable effects of these
flavours and textures is enough to send you over the edge – or
make you want to live forever on dry land, just so you can keep
coming back for more. theshortmarketclub.co.za

70 DECEMBER 2019 kulula.com





SURFSHACK DINER, CAMPS BAY THE DARYL HANNAH DIET EXPERIENCE

In Cape Town’s glitziest seaside suburb, this new, easy-going restaurant riceneamehximstnspatioadtaionnamstuosgmtdibveZfreeT.ltfaeiui’reotsshnsSmCahmruhetsianetMnnsearaLahddedgd‘ibwacdliIesEyinoitosAsMsi,rltfmamRs2tnlbatrahrto0oAgbugpeoeMelm1reettaiorTmysa4amondaetAletMEnyiibkfftaltmvfaelelIeoieewteidDsCmelorricnenswimtrttlSpdhHomtihoaaivhatombnbpesaAfieswFdbodulmicsaoadyrtNOehAltcfcmsiohognotaw.odRnGitergeoTtouehaogier…lnrhrEleruioPtodecaorpohfuirlwnosrseleedreiieunessccochessitolideManekilmhennosrgzsnatggaatltvtriyothnceyeesaiiln
overlooking the beach is the perfect spot for ocean-dwelling mermaids (and their
sun-loving human friends) to traipse into – presuming they can make it across the
road and up the stairs. From the terrace, there’s a sublime view plus a ceaseless
summertime soundtrack of sloshing waves and holidaying tourists living their best
lives on this legendary bikinis-and-cocktails strip. The food here is all about joyful
feasting and mealtime merriment. There’s an all-day brunch menu with bagels and
buttermilk flapjacks. And for mermaids dining as a group, the list of ‘shareables’
includes such wonders as seared ahi tuna with flying fish roe and avocado on tacos,
and there are gorgeous corn on the cob morsels done with smoked pepper aioli and
pecorino and lime. Hungry mermaids can tuck into huge dry-aged sirloin on the bone
or lick their fingers after devouring the utterly moreish sweet-and-spicy barbeque
ribs. There are pizzas, too, and some excellent seafood, but no self-respecting
hungry mermaid should leave Surfshack without succumbing to the temptations
on the dessert list: the cereal milk ice cream bar is even more wonderful than the
description lets on, and the ‘slice of birthday cake’ is a rainbow cake with cheesecake
worked into the mix – totally decadently sublime, even for mermaids without a
sweet tooth. surfshackdiner.co.za

no self-respecting hungry mermaid should DECEMBER 2019 73
leave Surfshack without succumbing to
the temptations on the dessert list

kulula.com

EXPERIENCE THE DARYL HANNAH DIET

FYN, CAPE TOWN

In Japan, mermaids are called ningyo which
translates as ‘human fish’. Like all mermaids, these
fishlike creatures have their origins in ancient folklore
and according to tradition have shiny golden scales,
a monkey’s mouth and small teeth resembling those
of a fish. Legend has it that catching a ningyo causes
storms and bad luck, ensuring that fishermen who
did accidentally catch them usually threw them
back into the sea. If one washes onto shore, however,
it heralds ill omens, and possibly war. Variants of
ningyo occur throughout Japanese popular culture
– especially manga comics – and there is even a fake
one in the National Museum of Ethnology. Japanese
mermaids who have strayed far from home can get
a taste of Sino-influenced culinary genius at Fyn, a
jaw-droppingly handsome restaurant presided over
by Peter Tempelhoff and Ashley Moss, an illustrious
cheffing duo. Accessed by an antique elevator, Fyn’s
on the fifth floor of the Speakers’ Corner building near
Parliament. On offer is a multi-course kaiseki menu
with fresh ingredients given a Japanese treatment
– what’s on the plate is uncomplicated but utterly
astonishing: tuna with tomato ponzu and kelp biltong;
miso cream and wood ear mushrooms; tender scallop
with red lentil veloute; and roast guinea fowl that
just incredible. The whole experience – including the
open kitchen – is a wonderful gastronomic adventure.
fynrestaurant.com

SAVAGES FINE FOOD, PORT ELIZABETH Words: Anna Trapido, Keith Bain, Pictures: Colin Mileman, Supplied, Khalima/istock.com, art-skvortsova/istock.com

74 DECEMBER 2019 Although nowhere near the beach, even the most land-phobic Eastern Cape mermaid will find
solace – and nourishment – as this misleadingly named café-style restaurant across the road from St
George’s Park. It takes its name not from the unruly mermaids who’ve come in for high tea, but from
the Savage family who once lived in the pair of side-by-side Victorian houses that have stood here
since 1896. The homey atmosphere is greatly enhanced by an imaginative kitchen team (the head chef
previously worked at La Colombe in Cape Town where she was known as ‘the risotto queen’) that aims
to put an artisanal spin on everything they do – they make their own lemonade, ice teas, sauces and
pickles. Even the burger buns and patties (made with Wagyu beef sourced from a farm near Port Alfred)
are homemade, and sous chef Sheldon has created a unique vegetarian falafel burger that’s far from
average, too. The menu really offers something for a wide variety of tastes and dietary inclinations
(there’s health food and cheat-day food, vegan and low-carb meals, too). Occasionally, there’s a special
fine dining event in the evening, designed to attract local food enthusiasts – mermaids in their finery are
welcome, although these feasts always sell out. facebook.com/savagesPE

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PLANET-SAVING SLEEPS EXPERIENCE

REST ASSURED

DOING THEIR BIT

Greenwashing is rife. You see those signs telling you to ‘Please save water’ and ‘Reuse your towel’
but is that really enough? Here are three places that really are making a difference

1 LEKKER BY THE SEA
Just looking at that view takes the breath away, but when you’re up close, immersed in it, with the crashing waves and screeching
seabirds lending a glorious soundtrack to the epic visuals, it really does adjust your attitude towards life itself. Being here, at De
Hoop Nature Reserve’s sumptuous Lekkerwater Beach Lodge, has the power to shift consciousness. We sincerely believe that.
And it’s not just because of the immediate proximity of a pure, unspoiled coast with an endless white beach, magnificent dunes,
rock pools and incredible whale-watching. It’s also because the lodge itself is off-grid and guided by strict sustainability policies –
electricity is generated by the sun, grey-water treatment is world-class, there’s no single-use plastic in sight, and most supplies
are sourced from within a 65km radius of the lodge. It is surely among the continent’s ultimate beachside getaways – and just over
three hours from Cape Town. naturalselection.travel

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EXPERIENCE PLANET-SAVING SLEEPS

23

2 OFF-GRID PARADISE 3 AQUA SMART Words: Keith Bain, Pictures: Supplied

A few hours (or 300km) out of Joburg and you arrive in an Cape Town’s Radisson Blu Hotel Waterfront in
enchanted wilderness – Lapalala – which is part of the Waterberg Granger Bay is hardly new. The ocean-side hotel adjacent
Biosphere, a region distinguished by its gorgeous mesas, buttes the yacht marina and within walking distance to the V&A
and kopjes. The Lapalala Wilderness is 44 500 hectares and not (and to Mouille Point, Green Point and Sea Point for that
only notable for some of the most successful rare and endangered matter) has been hosting film stars and international
animal breeding programmes, but also for the purity of the water VIPs for years, affording guests plenty of close-up
in the Palala River that runs through it for 27km. Lapalala is views of the water that laps at its edges, just beyond
also where at least 70 000 children have spent time discovering its curved rim-flow pool. While it’s a lovely sundowner
nature’s allure at the wilderness school that was set up here when spot, with a bar deck right beside the sea, and shelters
the private reserve was established. For grown-ups, there are just two Cape Town classics – the Amani Spa and Tobago’s
two lodges, including Tintswalo Lapalala, a rather magical and Restaurant – it has also this year established itself as
intimate collection of seven eco-friendly tented suites, each with an innovator when it comes to water management.
a plunge pool (it gets piping hot here in summer) and décor that Thanks to an in-house desalination plant, the hotel is
references one of Africa’s great tribes. Safaris, riverside picnics, now supplied with fresh water harvested from the sea.
sleep-outs, bush walks and San rock art excursions are just Water pumped up through a borehole from the ocean
some of the things there are to do here. It’s entirely off-grid, is put through a reverse osmosis system enabling the
run by a most gracious team, and a constant reminder of the hotel to operate completely off the municipal water
important things in life. tintswalo.com supply. radissonhotels.com

78 DECEMBER 2019 kulula.com







82 DECEMBER 2019 kulula.com

Words: Keith Bain, Picture: basiczto/istockphoto.com DECIDING OUR FUTURE EXPLORE

EXPLORE
Here. There. Everywhere.

ALL EYES ON MADRID

The past year has seen perhaps the biggest attention ever given to the pressing
matter of climate change and its consequences for human survival. Aside from
the impact of Greta Thunberg, a 16-year-old from Sweden, the world’s media

has been rife with depressing reports about the dire future we face if swift
action isn’t taken. The pressure has been on since the release last October

of a special report by the UN’s global climate science authority on the
probable impacts of a global temperature rise of anything from 1.5 degrees

Celsius or more.
Chile is a global trendsetter when it comes to initiating legislative action to
combat climate change – it was the first nation to ban plastic bags and to invest
in renewable energy, and it’s a leader in the move towards mainstreaming
electromobility. Chile’s President Sebastián Piñera is outspoken about his
commitment to sustainable development. Such efforts have led to Chile’s role
in organising COP25, this month’s UN Climate Change Conference involving 196
countries, environmental organisations, climate experts and scientists who will
debate, discuss and – hopefully – come to meaningful decisions regarding what
to do about stopping and reversing the damage we’ve done to the only habitable
planet we have. ‘The time has come to act,’ says President Piñera. ‘This summit
will be a great opportunity for the world to truly acknowledge the fact that time
is running out, and that the ever-increasing urgency of our objectives requires

that we be more ambitious and demand more of ourselves.’
As you head for the beach or mountains or whatever splashy end-of-year
party pit you have planned this month, spare a thought for those meeting to
determine a plan of action. COP25’s organisers have prioritised the oceans,
along with other key issues – Antarctica, renewable energy, circular economy,
ecosystems, biodiversity and electromobility. Following a last-minute change
of venues in light of a spate of social protests in Chile, the summit – initially
planned for Santiago, the Chilean capital – will take place in Madrid, Spain, from

2 to 13 December. unfccc.int

Cape of Storms 85 Creatures from the deep 103 Birds in tuxedos 171 Travels with tots 189
PLUS Drop zone 115 Surf’s up 143 An introvert’s holiday guide 161 Siren’s call 179

kulula.com DECEMBER 2019 83



CAPE OF INFINITE HOPE EXPLORE

In this extract from
his latest book,
travel writer
David Bristow

digs into the heart
and soul of the
Cape Peninsula
and explores its

often tumultuous
relationship with the

sea into which
it extends

kulula.com DECEMBER 2019 85

86 DECEMBER 2019 kulula.com

CAPE OF INFINITE HOPE EXPLORE

he sharp promontory of sandstone that temperature between the tropics and poles.
forms the southwest corner of Africa The wash of foamy water just off the point, to which people
juts into the southern Atlantic and is a
catcher’s glove for all the weather that passes. often gesture from the high viewpoint of the old lighthouse
It is a wild, windswept place that for centuries and exclaim: ‘Oh look, that’s where the oceans are meeting!’ is
was both beacon and ill omen for sailors. It is really just a rocky outcrop known as Bellows Reef. It has been the
also, arguably, and biologically speaking, the undoing of many a ship and the main reason a lighthouse was first
most diverse place on our planet. constructed there in 1859.
Standing on the crest of Cape Point – that
blade of sandstone which drops vertically A not so small issue was that it did not completely solve the
into deep churning waters – you get a sense problem and ships continued to wreck themselves whenever
of a place that is imbued with a wild spirit. It is a raw, wind- the lighthouse was shrouded in low cloud, as it so often is. That
thrashed and wave-beaten slab of Paleozoic rock jutting rusting lighthouse has not shone since 1919 when the current
into the southern Atlantic Ocean, but it also shelters the beacon of hope in the night was switched on lower down. The
largest bay in Africa that provides safe haven for the oceanic new one is the most powerful light around the South African
wonderland that is False Bay. coast and its 100 megacandela flashes can be seen up to 100
There are four or more species of whales, some kilometres out to sea.
migratory, others resident; at least seven species
of sharks, including the famous aerial great What Cape Point is, oceanically speaking, is the wedge that
whites around Seal Island; roving pods of separates the flow of the warm Agulhas Current that
dolphins, sometimes up to several thousand courses down the east coast of southern Africa from
strong; orcas on occasion; cormorants in the cold Benguela Current that drives nutrient-rich,
their thousands; terns; gulls; skuas; and, sub-polar waters up the west coast.
of course, those comics of Boulders Beach, While foreign visitors are often disappointed
the African penguins, all getting fat on the when told that no ocean currents meet at
bounteous fish and shellfish population of the Cape Point, the more cultured ones are
bay – as do the crayfish and abalone poachers. surprised to learn it is the setting of the
Many visitors to the Point believe they are standing famous opera Der Fliegende Holländer. On
at the southern tip of Africa, which is just one of the wild and stormy days, it is said you can see
misconceptions about the place that seems to persist no that ghostly ship, its timbers rotting and its sails
matter how much information you throw at it. It is not that,
but what it is rather is a giant geological exclamation mark shredded, battling the fates and sirens far out to sea.
that bookends the southwestern corner of the continent. The future King George V of England was one of about a
The actual southernmost point, Cape Agulhas some 200 dozen onboard the HMS Inconstant who thought they had
kilometres southeast, is by comparison a rather drab, flat seen it back in 1880.
expanse of coastline.
Sighting the fated ship was taken as a bad omen. The ship’s
WHERE WATERS MEET log noted: ‘July 11th. At 4 a.m. the Flying Dutchman crossed our
bows. A strange red light as of a phantom ship all aglow, in the
Probably the most pervasive misconception about Cape midst of which light the masts, spars and sails of a brig 200
Point is that it separates the Atlantic Ocean on the western yards distant stood out in strong relief as she came up on the
side from the Indian to the east. Oceans never really meet, port bow, where also the officer of the watch from the bridge
they are just convenient geographical boundaries – like clearly saw her, as did the quarterdeck midshipman.’ The
country borders. Even ocean currents don’t meet, but they entry ends with the sad news that, ‘At 10.45 a.m. the ordinary
swirl around one another in a great liquid dance, driven seaman who had this morning reported the Flying Dutchman
mainly by the Earth’s rotation and differences in water fell from the foretopmast crosstrees on to the topgallant
forecastle and was smashed to atoms.’

The anti-hero captain of Richard Wagner’s opera is named Van
der Decken, and is thought to have been modelled on an actual
17th-century seaman, Captain Bernard Fokke.

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CAPE OF INFINITE HOPE EXPLORE

During the heydays of the Dutch East India The Indian Ocean was his domain and he
Company, Fokke became legendary himself: dared anyone brave or foolish enough to try
some thought his extremely swift journeys to unlock its secrets.
around the Cape between Holland and Java
could be accounted for only if he had made CAPE OF NAMES
some sort of deal with the Devil.
The first written name we have for the place is Cabo
Van der Decken’s story goes that his Dutch East de Tormentosa, the cape of torment, or storms, which
Indiaman could not make headway into a fearsome wind returned with the small fleet that had been commanded by
around Cape Point. With his crew suffering and dying and Bartolomeu Dias. Dias did not make it back to Portugal, but the
threatening mutiny, the captain cursed God for delivering news that he had rounded Africa in 1488 was game-changing:
them into such a terrible situation. God returned the without trade with the East, Europe faced economic meltdown.
compliment by dooming him to forever sail the southern Back in Lisbon, Prince Henry the Navigator was thrilled
sea, never able to make progress or port. with the news, but not the name. In a deft cartographical
sleight of hand he had it changed to Cabo de Boa Esperança,
The Portuguese, who had an even harder time of the cape of good hope. That was much more likely to spur future
elements on their earlier voyages around the Cape in fortune-seeking sailors to dare the elements, Adamastor and
flimsy caravels, had their own myths about the place. terra incognita.
Who knows where the stories all started, but out at sea In the mythology of the indigenous Khoi people, the Peninsula
on dark and stormy nights would be a safe bet. Theirs is mountain chain is Hoerikwaggo – the mountain of the sea. In
the story of Adamastor, first penned by the mighty scribe spite of the tricky pronunciation, theirs is perhaps the best
Luís Vaz de Camões in his epic poem ‘Os Lusíadas’ that description given: that it was born of the sea around 400 million
celebrated the Portuguese ‘voyages of discovery’. years ago, from every aspect it is bathed by ocean and in an
estimated 10 million years or so will return to the sea.
In the story, Adamastor is banished to the south for Another early name for the Cape was the ‘tavern of the
the kind of convoluted transgressions you find in Greek seas’, since it was the first port out of Europe that had a
legends, where he takes the physical form of the cliffs distinct European character, and was rich in fresh food, inns,
of Cape Point. There he becomes the embodiment of the taverns and willing women. Early circumnavigator,
forces of nature that the early Portuguese sailors had to
contend with.

kulula.com DECEMBER 2019 89

privateer and slave trader Francis Drake had been given The leaves of most ericaceous plants, including the true
fearsome warnings about the ‘cape of storms’, but he ericas, buchu and other aromatic shrubs, look like needles,
happened to visit the ‘cape of good hope’ during a spell of but are in fact tightly rolled. Protea leaves mostly have a
glorious southern Rhône weather in 1580. leathery texture and often waxy or hairy coatings. The
reed-like restios, the most diagnostic of all plants in the
Of it, he wrote the most oft-repeated marketing blurb about fynbos biome, have no leaves at all and so experience
the place, that: ‘This Cape is the stateliest thing, and the fairest negligible water loss. There are only a few trees found
cape we saw in the whole circumference of the earth.’ It’s all in the fynbos, mainly coastal dune types, other than the
about timing, and at that time he was on the final leg of his Afromontane species that still cling inside shady, damp
continual voyage around the world, only the second person
after Ferdinand Magellan to do so. There is no record south-facing ravines.
of what the earlier Spaniard had to say about the This stressed environment, compounded by very
place; maybe he passed it in a squall. nutrient-poor and acidic soils, means the plants
have to work hard to procreate. It’s a numbers
KINGDOM OF FLOWERS game, which accounts for the celebrated
seasonal floral extravaganzas. Every month
The wind that drove sailing ships around Cape the Peninsula has its types and colours: mostly
Point also drives the terrestrial and the marine red proteas and green-yellow conebushes in
ecosystems there. The climate of harsh, hot winter; woolly-white blombos and many pink or
and dry summers followed by cold and wet
winters has created a vegetation type described red ericas in spring; white and yellow everlastings
by botanists as ‘sclerophyllous Mediterranean in early summer; chrome yellow pincushions and
shrublands’, or what the early Dutch settlers called fijnbos. bitou bushes in late summer; mauve and blue senecio and
Felicia daisies, ice plants, as well as a host of irises and other
In botanical terms, the fynbos biome is just a short hop-skip flowering bulbs proliferate in spring.
from desert: rain does not fall when plants need it, then buckets Talking of numbers, the fynbos biome, otherwise known
down all through winter when most of them are dormant. Every as the Cape Floristic Region or Cape Floral Kingdom, is
aspect of the fine-leaved plants is designed to prevent water loss unchallenged in the world for the number of plant species by
in summer when the searing southeaster howls and fans fires the square metre. It is the only vegetation type, rather than a
from the merest rock strike or flicked stompie.

Abalone diving and abalone poaching are Cape people into the region brought with it a desire communities where it occurs naturally, like
traditions as entrenched as the self-declared for something wanted only a little bit less than Australia and Japan, but mainly South Africa.
Tweede Nuwe Jaar holiday (second New Year, rhino horn, and that was perlemoen, as the When China’s pre-eminent chef of the new free-
when many locals are customarily still too protein packages inside their spiral shells are market era began cooking bao as a banquet
hungover to operate machinery heavy or light). called in these murky waters. Most people will delicacy for Chairman Deng Xiaoping, the
recognise the mother-of-pearl shells that are shellfish became a must-have for the Chinese
Until about 20 or so years ago, poachers often used as ashtrays. aspiring classes.
were few and the abalone was plentiful in the
extreme: five species of Haliotis occur in Cape In centuries past, bao (abalone, but it can Said chef noted that the best bao comes
waters, but bulky H. midae is the prize. Put also be bread, a steamed bun or slang for from Japan, somewhat smaller than the South
your head into a kelp forest and the amount of vagina) was served to Chinese royalty as an African giants, but more attractive, sweeter
abalone the size of rugby balls was staggering. exotic treat. Then it was more or less forgotten and tastier. Using a motoring comparison, he
But that was then. A flood of Chinese business as anything other than a braai titbit in fishing explains that the superior Japanese product is

90 DECEMBER 2019 kulula.com

CAPE OF INFINITE HOPE EXPLORE

specific place, on earth that has been accorded World Heritage wells up to take its place. This process of upwelling can drop
Site status. The number of indigenous plants occurring from the sea temperature from a balmy 23°C to just 8°C, and in
Table Mountain to Cape Point is comparable to the total count some cases 6°C overnight – in the middle of summer when
for the United Kingdom. the land temperatures can touch 40°C. At the same time, the
temperature inside False Bay, where the water is trapped by the
Correspondingly, the number of animal species in the kelp wind, remains in the pleasant low 20s.
forests that fringe the Point are thought to be comparable to
that of the Great Barrier Reef, although the count is still in its Another aspect of upwelling is that it brings with it a soup
early stages. On any day, in any weather, standing on a cliff edge of nutrients from the lower reaches of the water column. This
looking out across the Point lighthouse, you can feel the energy is the food that feeds the kelp forests and other algal plants,
percolating like few other places on earth. Consciously
or subconsciously, it is the incredible diversity of both which in turn feed the huge biomass of creatures that at
marine and terrestrial ecosystems that underpins first glance might not look overly impressive – sea
this profusion. lice, limpets, urchins, abalone, rock lobster, whelks,
mussels, barnacles – but, as has been alluded to
A CHILLING TALE already, equals any other marine system of our
blue planet.
The same wind that is the engine behind the In a type of vision quest to understand the kelp
flowering abundance of the fynbos also drives forests, Cape Town photographer Craig Foster
the richness of the sea. Anyone wishing to swim pledged to dive them at least once every day for
in Cape Town had best not visit any west-facing a year, which became two, and then eight and then,
beach (which locals call the Atlantic side), powder-
white sands notwithstanding. around the eight-and-a-half-year mark, the bar was
raised to 10 years. Overcoming the one or sometimes two
There is a phenomenon here called upwelling, whereby hours’ immersion in the often icy waters leads, he discovered,
surface water along the western side is blown away from the to a kind of hallucinatory experience that he first encountered
shore by the southeaster. while filming Bushman shamans and hunters in the Kalahari
(more about this in our cold water swimming story on page
As the relatively warm water moves offshore, it is 133). Breaking through to the other side, to use an old Doors
replaced by cold bottom water. The harder the wind blows, lyric, has led him to discover animal behaviour that
the more inshore water is displaced and the more cold water

the Mercedes of China’s seafood buffet, while The Chinese traders were paying top dollar Over the past two decades the once
the ‘reliable’ H. midae is a Honda. for the shucked and cleaned gastropod flesh, over-abundant perlemoen has reached that
but the ghetto gangs of the Cape Flats that rare status of being critically endangered.
Marine biologist and co-author of Poacher, controlled the poaching would not allow At the same time, the grip the drug gangs
Kimon de Greef, figures that between the them in. In truth, the Chinese, all connected have managed to extend over our coloured
years 2000 and 2016 around 36 000 tonnes to international crime cartels, were terrified communities – which make up around 60 per
of perlemoen was poached from South African of the Cape gangsters. To keep them under cent of the provincial total – is staggering.
waters, most of it between Langebaan up the control they introduced a perlemoen-for-drugs What happens when the abalone is indeed
west coast to Hermanus on the south coast, system, which was incredibly lucrative in extinct in local waters and the drugs stop
with Cape Point as the fulcrum of operations. both directions – other than for the larger flowing in from Chinese triads is anyone’s
The tonnage amounts to around 100 million Cape Town society and the health of the guess, but it won’t be pretty out on the
individual bao, most of it headed directly to marine ecosystem. Cape Flats.
Hong Kong.

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EXPLORE CAPE OF INFINITE HOPE

HocImfunocSMaanluoyilbmatrtesu,oipeafcttotayrueunhrhtswoozti-rKndeiorimuGAtientrgearnys’haeafguluscprPlerto,gtobaishehtochflenwprricaearmtseeratlitIttenaetatTurvNlfoa,G’dceuleesarnsuifranrea-rsrlrmrchinpi,ktyoesvtsovfooipeunrosesiemtlvlhuaoanbioavnolisseaaelcmnvewlbuajdrHbirohkiansdevslrrnouieovvahtooilmPgswuhHsriadgrprnesauine,teis.tldehmiltiriabtsaanaHbsodekrWlbuscieboaeoaen,isaNseytnmelcn–a’ees–tschniktisJndesteaaaeteDent’adautsllhtn’–wsCooonslac-hseedhepwfBdaivoeLtctvwdieitGnhaes’.ideatshhceastaeOhanmaeihinfBtyraserfbuaeet.JdbtrFlpiinilHrlso.isdeoaollysddHarbtoinbzstonicacaoeisimufsgRue.cwBsiralrPsokgilacianPauoslyecn–utiatut,vneoodsersaesusk,r,nrtin,eytdtoss. Words: Courtesy of the publishers, Pictures: Supplied, Baramee Temboonkiat/istock.com, 121082040/kiat/istock.com, Handmade/istock.com, Jeanna Draw/istock.com

has never before been seen. Also, in his submersed meditations, sailors must have thought they had indeed reached a lost garden.
he has discovered some new species. ‘Paradiso’ was the final part of Dante’s trilogy The Divine Comedy,
the first two being ‘Inferno’ and ‘Purgatorio’. In it he wrote: ‘Upon
In his breathtaking (in all senses) book Sea Change, Foster this promontory (Table Mountain), Nature hath formed here a
charts the path down which he was taken by an octopus, in great plain, pleasant in situation, which with the fragrant herbs,
a kelp garden within sight of Cape Point. Once the human variety of flowers, and flourishing verdure of all things, seems
had spent sufficient time to allow the vulnerable cephalopod like a terrestrial paradise.’
to take Foster into its confidence, it took him literally by the
hand to reveal a secret underwater octopus world (find more Carl Linnaeus (1707–1778), the Swedish father of ecology and
amazing octopus insights on page 108). modern taxonomy, never visited the Cape, but was overwhelmed
by the botanical riches sent to him by collectors of the time.
PARADISE ON EARTH In a letter to Cape Governor Ryk Tulbagh, he wrote: ‘May you
be fully aware of your fortunate lot, to enjoy that Paradise on
In classical literature there can be found numerous references Earth, the Cape of Good Hope, which the beneficent Creator has
to a second Garden of Eden, or earthly paradise, somewhere enriched with his choicest wonders.’
in the southern hemisphere. The idea took root in ancient Greek
literature, whereby everything in the universe had to balance. The Cape is a natural Elysium, abode of the blessed, yet for
Whatever was found in the northern hemisphere had to have its some of its less fortunate residents it has been rendered an
equivalent in the south: hence Arctic and Antarctic. earthly purgatory and even an inferno. But even in the fiercest
storms we can look around at our gracious mountain and our
Having struggled down the desolate and waterless Skeleton plentiful sea, and perceive that a Cape paradise is not all lost.
and Namaqua coastlines, on reaching verdant Table Bay, early

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IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF TRUE ORIGINALS EXPLORE

On a seaside hike steeped in
history, Clifford Roberts lets

his mind wander, too

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IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF TRUE ORIGINALS EXPLORE

’m alone on a beach with no signs The landscape is as plain as it would sun-shading clothes; a lightweight, easy-
of life other than our small band have been then. But most of the larger dry hat; sun cream; shoes designed
of strollers. The sea’s rough today, wildlife is gone now of course, plus there’s by computers.
slamming the shoreline like it’s on the invisible tethering of my phone. Our
a mission of destruction. Thoughts host, Anette Grobler, had a better sense The time warp on this little adventure
bob in and out of my consciousness of that world a few years ago. She was actually began the day before at Elands
like wayward strands of thread until, the first person to hike 570km of the Bay, a major surfing location at the
finally, I pin one down. I’m trying to Skeleton Coast unsupported. During that mouth of Verlorenvlei. The group, 16
imagine there wasn’t a railway line just adventure in 2011, she faced desert lions, participants in Grobler’s Shoreline of the
beyond the dune. Or a guesthouse waiting brown hyenas and side-winding adders. San beach hike, took a late-afternoon
for me around the beachhead, still hazy in drive to the cave out beyond the point
the distance. As I plod along like a crab tracking the at Bobbejaanberg. A short climb to the
I’m midway through the day on a 50km waterline, trying to stay on the section entrance led past a crumbling, graffiti-
beach walk between Elands Bay and of beach where the sand is hardest, I covered building, once an observation
Strandfontein on the Cape West Coast. strain harder to jettison distractions from post for German U-boats.
We’re tracking a thousand-year-old route my vision. But the more I try, the more
the San people used, hence the thread I’m I'm aware of our differences with our In front of us, in the blazing orange of
picking at, linking past and present. And human predecessors. We’re glued to our dusk were hundreds of small handprints
perhaps the future. modernity. Even just here, I wear cluttering the rockface – a timeless
greeting to the wide ocean horizon

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