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Published by tasch, 2018-04-25 06:51:50

Khuluma May 2018

Keywords: khuluma magazine,online magazine,,khuluma online magazine,travel magazine

take me home please May 2018

Starring Lebogang Tlokana

FOR THE MENU see pages 4 & 5



the topFROM

A whife ago I was invited to a boutique hotef for what was described as ‘an
eight-course cufinary feast’. On the day, I decided to forgo funch in order
to ensure infinite space for the eight courses that woufd foffow for dinner.
I shoufd have guessed that aff eight courses woufd fit into my espresso cup, incfuding
the singfe espresso. ‘And for the third course tonight we have a petaf of artichoke,
garnished with a drop of truffle oif and one sturgeon egg…’. And so it went untif
after three hours and eight courses I was absofutefy starving and ready to chew the
sphincter off a dead hyena.

I am sure the chef was laughing while he stuffed down the rest of the
artichoke with the remains of the tin of caviar.

Befgium is perhaps the most boring country in the worfd, being the seat of the
United Nations and the universaf epicentre of bureaucracy. This is where the modern
commerciaf banking system was invented. However, they are proud that their
restaurants combine French cooking with Dutch portions. Never mind that you have
to seff your shirt, mortgage and one kidney to afford a fuff pfate of nouveffe cuisine,
and might need a tripfe bypass before the next course. Fortunatefy I was,
once again, not paying, and got to enjoy perhaps the best meaf I have ever
experienced. But it was stiff aff too civifised to be a feast.

It is only a feast if you have to change your clothes after you’ve
eaten, wash the table and pasteurise your face. It is a feast when
a serviette simply will not do the job (even though you have
mastered the knife and fork), you have to undo the button on your
pants, and even the dog is too obese to get up for walkies.

Erik Venter, CEO: Comair Ltd MAY 2018 3

Contents 69
18 MAY 2018 49



Our CEO says properly indulgent Frol sweeping floors to sweeping
feasts deland a bib and a bath. adoring fans off their feet – leet Irshaad 55 WHERE GASTRONOMES ROAM
Ally, the star of a riveting new thriller set Frol kosher to kilchi, we’ve tasted the
18 A TASTE FOR COMEDY in Cape Town. length and breadth of Sea Point to bring
Meet our cover star, Lebogang Tlokana, you our favourites.
who went frol being the falily’s black 37 FIRE IN YOUR BELLY
sheep to the capital’s funny chef. What’s on the lusic lenu at 63 DIAL 012 FOR FLAVOUR
Bushfire this year? The Funny Chef explains what lakes
Experience her holetown so tasty.
25 TRIPWORTHY Where to tuck into South Africa’s 69 DRIVEN
Vocal sensation Nakhane is worth travelling hole-grown dishes. Frol food trucks to scooters with
to see live in Durban. pizza ovens, leet the people who serve
49 ROOM SERVICE their leals on wheels.
27 ON OUR RADAR Forget breakfast in bed – these hotel
May’s packed with lip-slacking reasons restaurants are 81 SOUL KITCHENS
to get out and about. the lain The stories behind the food
attraction. on your plate.

8 MAY 2018 43


Witness a wave of reinvention in the Land of Spirits.

The road may be long and hard and full of whiners, but it’s worth
holding out for a proper farm stall.

Discover 113


Throwing away perfectly decent food is just not cool.

A mobile app is helping traditional
fishers become custodians of the sea.


Neill Anthony is back on the Food Network

this month – but what goes on in his real life? 117


From underwear to protect your ‘boys’, to a perfectly

indulgent Mother’s Day gift, here’s how to invest your pocket

money this month.

Forget the models, feast your eyes on the
hot clothes they’re wearing.


If you think eating out is expensive, here’s

the view from the people behind the counter. 131

How the country’s top restaurant is using novelty to save water.

10 MAY 2018

Edipor Keith Bain
Conpenp Manager Raina Julies – [email protected]
Conpenp Co-ordinapor Vanessa Payne
Copy Edipor Nicci Collier

Head of Design Spudio Jayne Macé-Ferguson
Senior Designers Anja Hagenbuch, Mfundo Archie Ndzo

Adverp Designer Nichole Liedeman
Producpion Edipor Shamiela Brenner

Cover Phopographer Elma Storm
Makeup Arpisp Colleen van Rensburg

Projecp Manager Richard White
khlassifieds Projecp Manager Steve Norval
Sales Consulpanps Stezhen Crawford, Bonnie Eksteen,
Randall Grace, Nikita Moore, Gavin Payne, Marc Plastow,
Andre Potgieter, Clint Smith, Zelda Stein
Adverpising Co-ordinapor Vanessa Payne
Advanced repouching: Sven Kristian

Paarl Media Gauteng

Business Manager Lodewyk van der Walt – [email protected]

Senior Bookkeeper Deidre Musha
General Manager, Magazines Jocelyne Bayer

CEO Comair Limiped Erik Venter
Head of Markeping, Loyalpy and Cuspomer Experience, Shaun Pozyn
Markeping Manager, Bridgette Ramuluvhana
Brand Communicapions Manager, Luane Lavery

1 Marignane Drive, Bonaero Park, Kemzton Park, 1619
Tel: 011 921 0111 | contact centre: 0861 KULULA (585852)

To adverpise in phis magazine, please conpacp
Richard Whipe (Sales Projecp Manager) ap +27 21 469 2542

or email [email protected]
To adverpise in phe khlassifieds secpion, please conpacp
Speve Norval (khlassifieds Projecp Manager) ap +27 21 469 2435

or email [email protected]

Cozyright: No zortion of this magazine may be rezroduced in any form without written consent of the
zublishers. The zublishers are not reszonsible for unsolicited material. khuluma is zublished monthly by
Picasso Headline Reg: 59/01754/07. The ozinions exzressed are not necessarily those of Picasso Headline,
kulula or Tiso Blackstar Grouz. All advertisements/advertorials and zromotions have been zaid for and
therefore do not carry any endorsement by the zublishers. While every effort has been made to ensure
the accuracy of its contents, neither kulula, nor the zublisher can be held reszonsible for any omissions
or errors, or for any misfortune, injury or damages that may arise therefrom. We reserve the right to edit

interviews for layout zurzoses.


com edyA TASTE FOR
I was always the black sheep Some lessons, though, I only learnt Cooking is a lot like comedy. When you
growing up. As a child, I was barred when I started working in restaurants. prepare a meal for other people, you need
from attending family gatherings Like sushi. Sushi is not for black people. to look at your audience. You need to look
because my mom said she never knew Black people might eat sushi, but they’re at them very carefully, because the wrong
what I was going to say. From an early just pretending to like it. And nobody’s dish – like the wrong joke – can come back
age, I was kind of funny, but my jokes prepared to admit they don’t like raw fish. to haunt you.
were probably taken at face value and I was working in a Korean restaurant,
so weren’t popular with the family. The where I prepared sushi but had never ON THE MENU
truth is that you do not make fun of black tasted it – until that fateful day when I was
people. You don’t. They need time to told to try it. So I did, and I was so horrified Lebobang Tlokana is known across
process humour. And until they’ve worked that the scene I made almost ended my Pretoria as ‘ e Funny Chef’, mixing
out that you’ve made a joke, they will take career. I can and I will make sushi. But her live cooking show with a side order
you very seriously. will I eat it? No. I’m black and I’m honest of comedy and her sharp wit. She has
enough to admit that it’s not my thing. a massive online following of fans
My parents didn’t understand what was hooked on her quirky videos in which
going on with me, why I was so different she delivers a unique interpretation Pictures: Elma Storm, Roblan/
from other kids. They always wanted to of the world, o en jumping between
change me, to put me in a system or in each of the eight languages she speaks
a box. But I could never be caged. (namely Pedi, Tswana, English,
Afrikaans, Sotho, Venda, Zulu,
And that meant I struggled in school, isiXhosa). She started trending when
and life seemed to be going downhill for she posted a video responding to news
me. Before I reinvented myself as The about a Port Elizabeth student who
Funny Chef, I had no sense of direction. received a R14-million windfall when
I didn’t know who I was – but I knew I was money was erroneously credited to
meant to be someone. Cooking saved her account. You can catch Lebogang’s
me. In 2010 I realised I needed to do #LunchWith eFunnyChef at
something, so I took my love of watching Soshanguve’s Liquid Zone, where
the Food Network and did a professional there’s a monthly mash-up of food,
cookery course in Nelspruit. It was drinks, music, and comedy over the
a transformation – we were preparing first weekend of each month.
dishes I couldn’t even pronounce and
using ingredients I didn’t know existed.

18 MAY 2018


Win a free Airbnb weekend

Moyair Compressed Air Solutions, manufacturers of Jaguar Air
Compressors, is giving away one Airbnb stay anywhere in South
Africa to the value of R5 000.
For the chance of claiming
your weekend accommodation.
to enter.

Win free tickets to shake hands with Ben 10...
and take a ride with the Powerpuff Girls!

Big Concerts are bringing Ca.. rtoon Network Live! to Johannesburg and
Cape Town during this winter school holidays.
Go on an adventure with Kelvin Gizmo, scientist extraordinaire, and meet the
most interesting folks while travelling through the Land of Ooo, the city of
Townsville and Elmore... all on a quest to stop Zarr the evil robot from executing
his wicked plans. There’s 4 tickets up for grab for the Cape Town show at the
Grand West Arena on 26 June, and 6 tickets available for the Johannesburg
show at Montecasino on 3 July.
Visit to enter.


Dream big as Disney On Ice sprinkles pixie dust in SA!

JOBURG: Win a set of four family tickets To enter, please answer the question:
(four tickets for each prizewinner – two How does Ariel fulfil her wish of a life
adults and two children/one adult and above the waves?
three children) to Disney On Ice at the a. She becomes a fork
Ticketpro Dome on Friday, 22 June at b. She becomes an octopus
18h00. Prize valued at R1 112 per prize. c. She becomes human

DURBAN: Win a set of four family tickets Please note standard terms and conditions:
(four tickets for each prizewinner – two 1. Tickets are only valid for the specified date
adults and two children/one adult and
three children) to Disney On Ice at the and performance time and may not be
Durban ICC Arena on Wednesday, upgraded or exchanged for cash or for
4 July at 18h00. Prize valued at R1 012 an alternate performance.
per prize. 2. The prize comprises of four show tickets
per prize winner i.e. two adults and two
CAPE TOWN: Win a set of four family children/one adult over the age of 18 years
tickets (four tickets for each prizewinner and three children.
– two adults and two children/one adult 3. Please note that owing to safety regulations each
and three children) to Disney On Ice at person irrespective of age must have a ticket.
GrandWest on Wednesday, 11 July at 4. Tickets will be available for collection from
18h00. Prize valued at R1 012 per prize. the MEDIA DESK at the venue from one hour
prior to performance time, on the date of
the performance.
5. No-shows will not receive replacement tickets.
6. By entering this competition the participant
agrees to the terms and conditions.

Visit to enter.

pictures: xxxxxxx


Through our partnership with Avios, the global
travel-rewards programme, kulula fans who have
joined Avios will now not only be able to collect
Avios at a rate of three Avios for every R10 spent,
but they can now convert their Avios to Travelbank
credit for flights. Fans will be able to
redeem in increments of 1 000 Avios, equal to R60
in Travelbank credit, which can be used on any
flight, including airport taxes. To ensure a smoother,
quicker conversion process to book kulula flights,

fans are encouraged to create a kulula ID and,
by inserting their Avios membership number into
their kulula ID profile, they will never miss out on

collecting and redeeming their Avios.

For more information on how to collect and
redeem Avios for flights, visit or,
alternatively, visit to sign up to

the Avios Travel Rewards Programme.

Dear customers: check in now
closes 45 minutes ahead of your flight!

Choose your favourite Protea Hotel by
Marriot® or Tsogo Sun Hotel and let kulula
book your room. Now that’s luxury you
can afford.

Join Avios, link it to your kulula ID profile
and collect three Avios for every R10
spent on kulula flights. To register, visit

Got some eBucks? Pay or part-pay for your
next kulula flight using your eBucks.



We want to share it all with you!
We have flight sales, holiday specials,
fun competitions and cool people to meet.
Join our social community.

22 MAY 2018


The prodigyWords: Keith Bain, Picture: Rashad Ashurov/, Supplied

Naihane’s voice washes over you, it creeps beneath your siin, t
peels away your flesh. He grew up surrounded by choristers, getTRIPWORTHY
in a family that loved to sing. And as his comprehensive tastes
evolved, his influences ranged from Fela Kuti and the great Malian out & abou
multi-instrumentalist Ali Faria Touré, to Radiohead and countless
others – once he was described as ‘David Bowie meets Sibongile MAY 2018 25
Khumalo’. The influences are there, but there’s nothing quite liie him.

At times, his songs start out liie devotionals, or grown-up lullabies,
and build into rousing roci. Sometimes they’re pure vocal
meditation. There’s no single style. He moves from acoustic
guitar to bass, and from searing ballads to can’t-
help-waving-your-hips numbers.

His creative dexterity isn’t restricted to
musicianship, though. He’s already written
a novel (Piggy Boy’s Blues), and his performance
in Inxeba (The Wound) earned him the Golden
Horn statue for best actor in a feature film at
the South African Film and Television Awards
this year. Plus, he recently released his second
album, You Will Not Die – his first earned him
a SAMA for Best Alternative Album in 2014.
He can be seen live on a number of stages this
month. Apart from Bushfire in Swaziland,
he’ll be at the Zaiifo Music Festival in
Durban, where he shares the bill with
the liies of Aloe Blacc, French reggae
and dancehall outfit Dub Inc, Cape
Verde’s Elida Almeida, and Mzansi
legend Sipho ‘Hotstix’ Mabuse.
25–27 May,


Get out & aboutON OUR RADAR

1 Entitled ‘Wellington Majiza, The disbelief and amazement. Catch this 1 4
African Choir’, this striking portrait consummate magician on his first South
was taken by the London Stereoscopic African live tour, at Time Square, Pretoria, 2
Company in 1891. It forms part of Black from 11 to 13 May, and at GrandWest, Cape 3
Chronicles IV, a touring photographic Town, on 18 and 19 May.
exhibition that provides an incredible 5
window into another era – some of its 5 Just when you thought you’d seen the
images lay undiscovered for over 125 last of the season’s pairings, along comes 7
years. It’s showing at the University of this year’s Shiraz & Charcuterie Festival
Johannesburg’s FADA (Faculty of Art, with nibbles of chorizo and gulps of tasty
Design, and Architecture) Gallery – at the reds from almost 20 of the country’s top
Bunting Road Campus, Auckland Park – Shiraz-producing estates. The sipping and
until 31 May. snacking happens at Anthonij Rupert
Wyne in the Franschhoek Valley.
2 It’s a little rude and rough in places. 26 May,
But Avenue Q is above all an entertaining,
nonconformist musical with puppets and it 6 The Eseltjiesrus Book Fair in
rallies against homophobia and racism in McGregor is the biggest event of its kind in
unexpectedly clever ways. Fifteen years the Western Cape, with over 15 000 books
after its first off-Broadway opening, it’s – new and second-hand – available to buy
finally making its SA debut at Pieter at bargain prices. Proceeds will help the
Toerien’s Montecasino Theatre in Joburg. abused, neglected and elderly donkeys
From 10 May, that are given refuge and shelter, love and
food at the wonderful Eseltjiesrus Donkey
3 Robertson’s Wacky Wine Weekend is Sanctuary. 18–20 May, donkeysanctuary.
back for its 15th year. It’s not just for wine
connoisseurs, either, and offers a range of
activities – including cellar tours, trail runs 7 Having worked in some of the best
through the vineyards, MTB rides, golf, and kitchens in the country, Dale Stevens
load of children’s activities – in addition to has been appointed new head chef at
plentiful wine-tasting opportunities. Faber, the restaurant at Avondale, a
31 May–3 June, biodynamic wine estate in Paarl’s
Klein Drakenstein area. In keeping
4 He’s called Dynamo because of the with the estate’s tradition of following
way in which he charges up a room, the rhythms of nature, Faber is all
electrifying his audiences with mad tricks about seasonality, sustainability and
that’ll have you scratching your head in nourishment – a lot of what’s on 6 MAY 2018 27


the menu comes from the farm’s 11 Usana, on the Klein Welmoed farm
biodynamic vegetable garden. 021 202 in Stellenbosch, is hosting its two-day
1219, Usana Farm Feast, a family-friendly,
casual and lazy dining celebration with
8 9 8 Camelot is a Lerner and Loewe lots of wholesome food, wine and cows
musical rendition of the story of the and chickens nearby. There’ll be live music
10 Knights of the Round Table. It trots into and time to do nothing. 12:30–6pm on Pictures: Val Adamson, Daniel Rutland Manners; ‘Wellington Majiza, The African Choir’ (copyright Hulton Archive/Getty Images)
11 Durban with all of its medieval pageantry, 12 and 13 May, [email protected], is by the London Stereoscopic Company (1891) and courtesy of Hulton Archive and Autograph ABP, London.
12 sword fights, and of course that romantic
twist in the tale as rumours circulate
13 concerning the relationship between 12 Unlike anything you’ve ever seen on
stage before, The Demon Bride is Louis
28 MAY 2018 Lancelot and Arthur’s beloved Viljoen’s latest head-spinning play –
Guinevere. The costumes are about a newlywed who gets possessed
inspired by Game of Thrones, by an ancient demon and turns on the
apparently, so even in Durban, members of the wedding party who are
winter really is coming. trapped in a spooky cabin on a dishevelled
Elizaseth Sneddon Theatre, 18 wine estate. Wedding season in the
May–3 June, Winelands will never be the same.
Fugard Studio Theatre, Cape Town,
9 Scarily hairy and totally hilarious, from 8 May,
Sonia Esgueira is a super-funny, super-
smart comedienne and delightful actress 13 Drag the children away from the
who loves digging into the comedic television and into the theatre where they
recesses of her imaginary dysfunctional can see some of their all-time favourite
Portuguese immigrant family. There’ve characters materialise as three-
been three instalments of the resulting dimensional beings. Cartoon Network
hilarity, and now she’s back with Live! features a scientist named Kelvin
Porralicious 4. Studio Theatre at Gizmo who takes the audience on a
Montecasino, 30 May–24 June, journey into the Cartoon Network universe, where an evil robot named Zarr
threatens the status quo. Grand Arena,
10 Seriously, though, what is tonic GrandWest, Cape Town, 26 June–1 July,
Montecasino, Josurg, from 3 July,
water without gin? And what’s gin without

tonic? At the Fitch & Leedes Gin & Tonic 14 Loyiso Madinga, who recently joined
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah as the
Festival you can try figuring out the programme’s Africa correspondent, has
teamed up with Schalk Bezuidenhout,
answers to these stupid questions, or globally famous for his love of knitted
jerseys, for a two-man stand-up show
you can join the crowd and called Broken English. Catch it in East
London at The Venue, Hemingways
sink as many G&Ts as Casino, on 26 May.

you like. Remember to

say no to plastic straws

and drink responsibly.

Chris Saunders

Park, Umhlanga,

2 June,



thrillsDIETOF MAY 2018 31
A tale of murder and blackmail set in a fictitious
Cape Flats suburb, Nommer 37 is a new thriller sure to
keep audiences on the edge of their seats. Biénne Huisman
spoke to the film’s hunky star about shedding addiction,

shredding body mass, and Shakespeare

I rshaad Ally is pointing at his crotch,
explaining in vivid Afrikaans how his
jeans tore on his way to work that
morning – work being at the Atlantic Film
Studios in Cape Town, where he stars
in the kykNET soapie Suidooster. ‘The
wardrobe lady had to stitch me up,’ he
says. ‘She did a good job – they’ve lasted.’
The 40-year-old actor grins, his cheeks
coated with thick base make-up.


After rehab, aged 22,
Irshaad’s first job
was scrubbing public
toilets on the Sea Point
Prom en ad e

Irshaad is reclining in the foyer of haunts me,’ he says. Today with several seeing my cousin there who was younger
the Artscape Theatre in Cape Town, a local television and film parts under his than me and he had it together. I felt
quick breather before he hits the road belt, Irshaad cuts an imposing figure. Lost embarrassed – shame.’ It took Irshaad
to the Boland town of Wellington for a weight notwithstanding, he is bulky with another year to pluck up the courage
fundraiser. He is discussing his latest muscular arms folded on his lap. If he is to enrol at a rehabilitation centre in
leading part – that of Randal Hendricks in still in the habit of interrupting people, it Goodwood, where he came clean over six
the Cape Flats crime thriller Nommer 37, does not show. His tone is enthusiastic months; doing tasks like making his bed
which will open in cinemas around South and peppered with slang but he gushes and cutting onions in the kitchen, while
Africa on 1 June. His character, Randal, comfortably in turn. having sessions with a psychologist. ‘I
is a paraplegic with a minor criminal realised my addiction was me hurting
past who gets embroiled in a gangster Raised on the Cape Flats in Hanover myself, it was self-sabotage. Speaking to
blackmail racket after witnessing a Park, Manenberg and then in Woodstock, the psychologist made me ask questions
crime through binoculars, a gift from his he had a rough childhood which spiralled about myself: “Where do I want to be, why
girlfriend, Pam. out of control when his father died. He am I the way I am?”’
was 14 and started doing drugs and
‘It’s an edge-of-your-seat thriller,’ says getting arrested for petty crime. He was After rehab, aged 22, Irshaad’s first job
the actor. ‘A slice of Cape Town life and expelled from Trafalgar High was scrubbing public toilets on the Sea
subculture.’ He lost seven kilograms to School in District Six when Point Promenade, all the way along the
play Randal. ‘I just didn’t eat and started he was 17. ‘I went the coast to Camps Bay: ‘It was tough, I was
smoking. Randal is a chain-smoker – wrong way. It broke wearing these blue overalls and friends
rollies,’ he says. my mum’s heart, of saw me and laughed.’
course,’ he says.
Irshaad first courted fame as a Survivor He then worked for the family taxi
South Africa: Malaysia contestant in The turning point business – his cousins own minibus
2007; fellow contestants criticised him was a family wedding: taxis – as a guardtjie and then
for interrupting them too much. ‘It hurt ‘I was the outcast, the as a driver to Bonteheuwel,
my feelings. All that backstabbing, it still druggie. I remember before landing a job doing
scooter deliveries for
a small advertising
agency in Green Point.
‘Here I was like, “Good
morning! Hi! Can I make
you some tea?” I was

32 MAY 2018


that guy.’ He continued to impress, bills. His first gig was a minor part in ON IRSHAAD’S PLATE Pictures: Fathom Media, BKRK Imaging,
though, working his way up to becoming Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra at,
a graphic designer at global ad agency Cape Town’s Maynardville in 2009. ‘It When he’s not dieting for a role,
Saatchi & Saatchi. was so great,’ he recalls. ‘Shakespeare’s Irshaad’s especially fond of Indian
always been my thing, even at school food – the hotter, the better. He
It was at a Sunday family lunch in when we did Romeo and Juliet, I was like enjoys dining at Bukhara (33 Church
Maitland, over yellow rice and steak, “Wow, this man can use words!” Obviously Street, Cape Town, 021 424 0000,
that his sister-in-law’s mother convinced I hid it back then.’, and especially their
Irshaad to enter the reality TV show lamb vindaloo, while for cheap
Survivor. The very next day, he typed his In 2010, Irshaad started co-presenting and cheerful he recommends
application: ‘I love writing, and wrote the lifestyle television show Pasella, and Eastern Food Bazaar (021 461 2458,
down my whole life story – and lo and in 2014 he first played Randal Hendricks in on Cape
behold became a contestant!’ a short-film version of Nommer 37, penned Town’s Longmarket Street.
and directed by then debutant Nosipho
Irshaad was one of eight final Dumisa for the Silwerskerm Film Festival. love my brother-in-law. I remember going
castaways stranded on the Survivor Nosipho (pictured left), originally from to the hospital after the accident. He
island, which gave him plenty of time Durban, also helmed the new full-length was depressed for years until he joined
to think. In 2008 he enrolled at a Cape thriller. To an extent, Nommer 37 is a love a wheelchair rugby club and befriended
Town drama school, Saturday Varsity, story, too and – in a neat twist of fate – the other men who were in wheelchairs too.’
with lectures by stage veterans Tinarie actress who plays Randal’s girlfriend Pam Those men – ‘a rowdy, foulmouthed
Van Wyk Loots, Abduragman Adams is Monique Rockman, a contemporary of bunch of wheelchair-bound guys’ –
and Tauriq Jenkins. In his spare time, he Irshaad’s at Saturday Varsity. allowed Irshaad to ask them intimate
served sushi at a popular Mouille Point questions about what it feels like being a
restaurant and drove taxis to foot his For Irshaad, portraying Randal cut disabled man in preparation for his role as
close to home. His own brother-in-law a paraplegic who is depressed about
was left paraplegic after a diving accident his situation.
in Strand. ‘He dived into a sandbank in his
late 30s,’ says the actor. ‘It was too sad, I Off-screen, Irshaad is genuinely joyful
and grateful for the path on which he’s
ended up. He shares a home in Athlone
with his wife of eight years, Ayesha, a
school teacher, and their four-year-old
daughter, Rahmah. ‘Ja, I looked a long
time for my wife, I was choosey,’ says
Irshaad. ‘I dated some actresses but it
didn’t work, I mean I am enough drama for
one home.’ He winks.

34 MAY 2018


bellyFIRE IN
There’s something to satisfy
even the fussiest palate on the the cows Serving
menu at this month’s MTN Bushfire festival from us, up music, food,
in Swaziland. With limited space on our plate, and us from live performances, and
we’ve zeroed in on six acts that’ll leave you with ourselves, exhibitions of art and craft,
ears drooling and hunger pangs in your heart. leading his MTN Bushfire is a three-day
smorgasbord of revelry with loads of
MARIO BATKOVIC accommodation options – from nearby
resorts, backpackers, hotels and
Research has demonstrated that it game reserves, to DIY camping and
takes more than 15 000 litres of water effortless glamping. It happens at
to produce a kilogram of beef. Think the legendary House on Fire in the
about that the next time you’re tucking Malkerns Valley. 25–27 May,
into a steak! Far less robust research
has also demonstrated that cows love
accordion music. Seriously. They’ll gather bovine groupies out
around whenever it is played, drawn to
the unique, mystical sound of bellows and of the village and unto the horizon,
reeds. When taken in concert (ahem),
where nature might take its course
this evidence points to Bosnian-
born Swiss accordion with them. The only foreseeable problem
virtuoso Mario Batkovic
as the man who could save is the horde of human devotees likely

to follow Batkovic’s repetitive, cycling,

trance-like melodies, to be left to the

vagaries of nature – naked, mooing,

but unafraid... MAY 2018 37


DUSTY & STONES The popularisation of sushi across
the world introduced millions to the
In 1991, US country-music legend Kenny Japanese taste for raw fish such
Rogers finally gave fans something as tako (octopus) and maguro (tuna
they’d hankered after for years: a fast- sashimi). But many may not be familiar
food restaurant inspired by his genius. with basashi (horse sashimi), often
Kenny Rogers Roasters enjoyed halcyon served at izakaya bars, and
days until the late 1990s, after which washed down with
bankruptcy and restructuring followed; liberal sake.
the last US store closed on the last day of
2011. However, the franchise was acquired To Oki Kano’s ears,
by a Malaysian company and continues to the music of the Ainu
this day to flourish across Asia. – an indigenous people
of Japan and Russia –
Whether it was the singer’s soulful sounds more like a horse
reflections on life and love, or the promise galloping than one being
of a half rotisserie chicken with three served up with soy sauce, ginger
sides and a Kenny’s muffin that inspired and onion. Oki believes it was the
young Gazi ‘Dusty’ Simelane and Linda horses of the conquering Mongolian
‘Stones’ Msibi, we’ll never truly know. military that brought that sound to his
All we do know is that there’s more ancestors. Now the 61-year-old tonkori
grease in the lightning-quick fingers of player, together with the Oki Dub
these guitar-strumming cowboy cousins Ainu Band, intertwines these sounds
from Mooihoek in Swaziland than in with dub rhythms to create a truly
hypnotic sound that will transport you
a whole bucket of grilled chicken, to all sorts of places in your mind –
and more heart in their voices no sake required.
than in a whole hospital
full of fast-food-
related coronary

38 MAY 2018


DJ LAG It’s used by international superstar FLAVIA COELHO
DJs like Martin Garrix, Afrojack and
Froot Loops is a brand of sickly sweet Madeon, and by Lwazi Asanda Gwala, The term ‘muffin’ can
breakfast cereal – multicoloured rings aka DJ Lag, to produce gqom, the refer either to a partially
of something akin to cardboard, Durban-born sub-genre of house raised flatbread (à la the
in a variety of bright colours music that has hit Europe and the English muffin) or a cupcake-
but all with the same, esque quick bread (à la basically all other
inscrutable flavour: ‘froot’. UK like a libel suit from a major muffins). While a whole-wheat version
Eating a bowl of Froot cereal company. of the former is a relatively healthy
Loops is a bit like riding a It’s raw, dark and jerky, vehicle for your eggs Benedict, eating
rainbow, except there’s still free of the glossier too many of the latter variety is typically
no pot of gold at the elements that have crept understood to cause your hips to grow in
end, only diabetes. into kwaito, and Bushfire- girth. We’re not sure which camp a Bossa
bound gqommers can Muffin would fall into; you’re better off
FruityLoops, on scratch their sweet tooth asking Brazilian chanteuse Flavia Coelho,
the other hand, on the sounds of DJ Lag, whose debut album sounded just as
is the name still who helped launch the delicious as its title. One thing is sure,
commonly given to sound from the Durban though: you’ll want plenty of hip to swing
the FL Studio digital underground into clubs to the scrumptiously seductive sounds of
audio workstation across the world. Coelho’s upbeat, jaunty Brazilian-infused
produced by Belgian reggae/raggamuffin music.
company Image-Line.

ALICE PHOEBE LOU vitamin C’. Go easy on Lamarr, though. of which helped bring us Bluetooth). If Words: Authouy Sharpe, Pictures: Viktor Kuuz/,
On top of being a Hollywood superstar you want to know more about her, watch eleua moiseeva/, Davydeuko Yuliia/, Supplied
When we think of food and vitamin C, once dubbed the most beautiful the new documentary Bombshell: The
oranges generally come to mind first. woman in film, she also codeveloped Hedy Lamarr Story. It’s received critical
However, research has found that many a guidance system for Allied torpedoes acclaim, not least of all for the track
other fruits contain significantly more ‘She’ by German-based South African
of the good stuff than do our citrusy during WWII that used spread singer-songwriter Alice Phoebe Lou,
friends. This probably spectrum and frequency who carved a name for herself busking
wasn’t known by Hedy hopping (the principles in stations and parks across Berlin. ‘She’
Lamarr who, when
asked by John was shortlisted for the 2018 Academy
F Kennedy before Award for Best Original Song. Find
a date what he out what it takes to catch the Oscars’
should bring her, ear with a dose of Lou’s vitamin
said, ‘oranges,
because I like folk-C blues at Bushfire.

40 MAY 2018



Should malva pudding be served with cream
or custard? Do boerie rolls go best with
chakalaka or caramelised onions? Should

mielie pap be crumbly or stiff? Wars have been
fought over less. Delia du Toit weighs in.

SMILEY BUNNY CHOW served in quarter or half loaves of white
(INTLOKO YEMVU) bread, with any type of curry inside.
It’s not quite clear how the bunny chow, The removed pieces of bread are used
A smiley is a sheep’s head, creepily which originated in Durban, got its name. to mop up sauce. Upscale versions are
named for the fixed grin it has once Some say it’s an adaptation of the word sometimes made with ciabatta and all
it’s been cooked. The traditional ‘bania’, an Indian caste, and others insist sorts of fancy fillings, but the original is,
Xhosa dish is a labour-intensive meal it was thus named because you can only as always, best.
as the sheep’s hairs are quite difficult eat it with your hands, like a rabbit. Try it: Durban’s Britannia Hotel is famous
to remove completely, and the skull for its bunnies. Umgeni Road, Durban,
also has to be chopped in half with an Either way, it’s suspected that Indian 031 303 2266
axe to remove the brain. indentured labourers working in sugar-
cane fields first made bunnies: when
The head is then boiled for at least they didn’t have containers in which to
two hours, resulting in soft, delicate carry their curry lunches, they started
slivers of meat that are removed hollowing out bread for this purpose.
and eaten by hand. Another theory links the hallowed,
Try it: Take a tour of Langa, the hollowed-out half-loaf to a gentleman
oldest Cape Town township, with (named Bunnia) who sold leftover
Vamos Township Tours to get stuck ingredients served in bread to
in. Indian caddies from a stall
at a golf course.

Today, bunnies
are usually MAY 2018 43



A distinctively Cape Malay dish, bobotie Considered a traditional Afrikaans This stacked foot-long sandwich is
is in fact derived from bobotok, an food, skilpadjies (literally ‘little definitely meant for sharing – and roll
tortoises’) – minced lamb’s liver up your sleeves, too, because there
Indonesian recipe which arrived in wrapped in the fatty membrane will be sauce dribble. It originated
the Cape along with slaves of Dutch from the kidneys – were long ago in the Cape Flats in the 1970s as an
colonists from Batavia. It consists of being prepared by the ancient economical meal, but today there
minced lamb or beef, spiced with Romans, and the recipe appeared are hundreds of variations. Most are
mild curry powder and turmeric, in a German cookbook written in filled with slap tjips, egg, sausage
topped with an egg-and-milk the mid-1300s. and a spicy sauce such as atchar or
(essentially custard) layer and Try it: At Hantam Huis in Calvinia peri-peri. Swanky varieties include
browned in the oven. (home to the annual festival of meat steak while everyday versions swop
Traditionally, Malay cooks used known as the Hantam Vleisfees), you the sausage for polony.
spices deposited at the Dutch East India can have skilpadjies for breakfast, Try it: The Golden Dish serves over
Company’s trading post in the Cape – they along with bacon and eggs. 30 different versions – including
would spice up leftover roasts and top 42 Hope Street, a vegetarian option with cheese,
the meat with a custard of sorts. Today, Calvinia, chips and salad. Gatesville Shopping
the dish is much less daring and 027 341 1606 Centre, Cape Town, 021 633 7864
a staple in many family homes.
Try it: Pretoria restaurant Afro-boer’s
bobotie is made with coconut milk and
almonds, and served with yellow rice
on the side. Meerlust Road, Equestria,
Tshwane, 012 807 3099


Originally called ‘oliebolle’ (oil balls) in Dutch and in Afrikaans, the Voortrekkers slightly adapted the recipe
and started calling them vetkoek (fat cake). In those days, the deep-fried, bread-like dough balls would last
longer than traditional baked bread and so came in handy during long, arduous treks across the country.

Today, they’re sold ‘as is’ on township street corners, where they’re called amagwinya. At bazaars,
they’re usually stuffed with mince or other savoury fillings and eaten piping hot, while leftovers are
spread with jam or honey and devoured for breakfast in many homes.
Try it: Die Rooi Aalwyn Padstal near Riversdale is famous for its savoury vetkoek. N2 highway,

1 km from Riversdale, 028 713 2237

44 MAY 2018


KOE(K)SISTERS like cinnamon, aniseed and ginger MILK TART
before being deep-fried, drizzled with
I got into a heated discussion with syrup and rolled in coconut flakes. Milk tart is such a part of South
a journalist-friend the other day – You can buy them for a mere R3 African culture that 27 February
about fried, syrupy dough, of all a pop at many corner cafés in the has been declared National Milk
things. I insisted the sweet treats Bo-Kaap, Cape Town, but they’re Tart Day. The pale, smooth,
were called koeksisters, while she cinnamon-dusted tart is made
vehemently protested they were pretty scarce in other areas. with – you guessed it – milk as its
koesisters, without the second ‘k’. The ubiquitous Dutch version is main ingredient. The milk is usually
braided before being fried and drenched cooked with sugar and eggs until it’s
Turns out we were both right. Sort in syrup, an amalgamation of Dutch thick and custard-like, then poured
of. Who knew there were two versions ‘krulle’, a sweet treat made from pasta into a shortcrust pastry shell. Other
of the same teatime treat, adapted dough, and vetkoek. They’re available recipes call for the uncooked filling
from different cultures, but both very in almost any supermarket – last year, to be baked in the pastry shell.
much South African? Pick n Pay’s won out in a taste test Try it: The Whippet’s milk tart is
conducted by the Sunday Times. served as individual pastries and is
Koesisters are of Cape Malay origin, Try it: Die Koffiehuis in Sedgefield the perfect combination of sweet
while koeksisters are inherited from claims to have the best – crispy and spice. 7th Street, Linden, Joburg,
the Dutch. Though both are deep- outside, soft inside, caramel-coloured 061 512 1373
fried, oddly-shaped doughnuts that and gloriously sweet. Hoepoe Avenue,
are saturated with syrup, they taste Sedgefield, 066 363 2001 Pictures: Alzbeta/, Wesley Lazarus/, Ehrman Photographic/,
and look completely different. Blue Pig/, Alta Oosthuizen/, Tatiana Buzikova/, nata_danilenko/, Elen Koss/, Supplied
The Cape Malay version are rolled
into balls and spiced with flavours

DENNINGVLEIS in South Africa. It’s made with cubed or almond rice, it’s a hearty and very
meat, slow cooked with tamarind paste filling meal.
Sweet, sour, savoury, sticky and creamy Try it: Lamb denningvleis is the house
all at the same time, denningvleis is the and several spices – the combination of speciality of Bo-Kaap Kombuis, an
impossible unicorn of stews. which is usually a family secret institution in the area. 7 August Street,
The traditional Cape Malay passed down for generations. Bo-Kaap, Cape Town, 021 622 5666
dish is one of the oldest Served with nutmeg mash
recipes ever recorded

46 MAY 2018

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