Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

Fun Jokes
for

Funny Kids

By

Myles O’Smiles

© 2018 Crimson Hill Books/Crimson Hill Products Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book, including words
and illustrations may be copied, lent, excerpted or quoted
except in very brief passages by a reviewer.

Cataloguing in Publication Data
Myles O'Smiles

Fun Jokes for Funny Kids
Description: Crimson Hill Books trade paperback edition | Nova

Scotia, Canada
ISBN 978-1-988650-63-0 (Paperback)
BISAC: JNF028020 Juvenile Nonfiction: Humor -- Jokes & Riddles
| JNF028000 Juvenile Nonfiction: Humor – General |
JNF021050 Juvenile Nonfiction: Games & Activities - Questions &

Answers
THEMA: YNU - Children’s / Teenage general interest: Humour &
jokes | YFQ - Children’s / Teenage fiction: Humorous stories | Y -

Children’s, Teenage & Educational
Record available at https://www.bac-

lac.gc.ca/eng/Pages/home.aspx

Illustrations: Camilo Luis Berneri
Book design and formatting: Jesse Johnson

Crimson Hill Books
(a division of)

Crimson Hill Products Inc.
Wolfville, Nova Scotia
Canada

FUN JOKES FOR FUNNY KIDS is a children’s joke book with
more than 400 funny kids’ jokes, riddles and tongue-
twisters with cartoon illustrations.

Readers ages 6 to 10 and older will laugh as they share
these silly jokes, including old favorites and some new
ones they’ve never heard before!

Great for young readers, new readers and anyone
learning English!

All these funny jokes are family-friendly as well as being
spectacularly silly! Hours of laughter and good clean fun!

Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

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Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

Note to Teachers & Parents

Why Kids Need Jokes

Hello, Myles O’Smiles here.

As a parent as well as a former teacher, I know a thing or
two about kids and jokes. One of these is that there are
days when a few good jokes are all that stand between
sanity and total chaos.

If you’re a parent – or a teacher, or possibly both, you’ve
been there, too.

Jokes give us a moment to pause and catch our breath. A
good joke can get the wild ones to settle down, the
distracted ones to listen, and the dawdlers to hurry up so
they get the treat of a good laugh.

You can use a joke to help get everyone out the door in
the morning (no joke till we’re in the car, kids!), or to
change subjects, change the mood, or to get students
packed up quicker at the end of the day.
When kids listen to jokes, it pushes them a bit to
understand why the joke is funny. If it’s a riddle, they
need to use some thinking skills to come up with the
answer. When they go from enjoying jokes to learning
how to tell them, they’re developing social skills that will
come in useful for a lifetime!

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Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

Successful joke-telling is story-telling, a valued skill in the
modern world, where selling is telling. We all need to sell
ourselves, our stories, our values, our skills and our take
on things every day if we want to succeed and contribute
in life.
Both as a parent and former teacher, I believe the jokes
we give our kids need to be empowering. This means no
meanness, no insults, no cursing and no adult content.
Just good, clean funny fun. That’s what you’ll find in this
book, where there are more than 400 jokes, tongue-
twisters and brain-teasers to delight kids. Every joke is
clean and a winner for anyone who likes to laugh!
So here you are…Enjoy!

Myles O’Smiles

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Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

Note to Kids

How to Tell a Joke So EVERYONE Laughs

“Hey, wanna hear a good joke?”

I bet you’ve heard this a lot. Maybe you’ve been the kid
who said it, to your friends or your family.

Or somebody said it to you.

“Sure,” was the answer. “Let’s hear it.”

Then you, or somebody else, told the joke and…nothing
happened. Nobody laughed or even smiled.

There was just…silence.

So, what just happened there?

Was it because they didn’t get it? Or they heard this joke
before? Or they weren’t even paying attention? Or…well,
who knows?

If you were the kid telling the joke, it’s a real letdown. It
feels crummy to tell a hilarious joke and then nobody
laughs. But here’s the good news. There are a few simple
things you can do to make sure a joke bomb won’t ever
happen again, not if you’re the one telling the joke.

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Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

These secrets can turn you into a joke-telling STAR! But it
will take some work from you.

Of course, you could just stop telling jokes, but that isn’t
much fun. Then, guaranteed, nobody laughs!

Wouldn’t you rather know that, any time you feel like it,
you can tell a joke and people are going to smile, laugh
and maybe completely crack up? How good would that
be? If you’re thinking, “Gosh, pretty good!” keep reading.
I’m about to tell you the insider secrets to telling a good
joke and ALWAYS getting the laugh!

These secrets come from some of the best joke-tellers
today. They’re people who’ve spent years learning the
craft and art of telling a good joke. They’re so good that
they’re famous for it, in shows, on TV and in movies.

I can’t promise that you’ll get famous for telling jokes. But
I can promise that you can be funny, any time you want!

Here’s what you do:

1. Find some good jokes. There are hundreds of them
in this book to choose from! Pick just three that you
think are super funny. You’re going to get REALLY
good at telling these three jokes!

2. Got your three jokes chosen? Terrific. Now, read
each joke slowly, out loud. You might want to do

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Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

3. this alone, in your room. You’re not trying to tell
the joke yet, you’re just making friends with it. You
can put each joke into your own words if you want
to. Just be sure you’re totally comfortable with the
joke, as if you made it up yourself!

4. Now, memorize the joke. When you’ve got it,
practice saying it in front of a mirror. Be sure you’re
smiling and looking right in the mirror, not
anywhere else. Here’s a big secret about telling a
joke. People look at you when you’re doing it. If
you look happy, they’ll start to smile, too, even
before they hear the punch-line (the punch-line is
the funny bit at the end).

5. When you’re ready, ask your parents or your best
friend to listen while you tell your jokes. Once you
do, ask them what you did well and what you could
do a bit better, to make the jokes even more fun for
them.

They might tell you not to talk so fast. Or to wait
and give people more time to guess the answer. Or
to look right at them when you tell your joke, not
look at your shoes or flap your hands around or
bounce on your toes.

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Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

6. Pay attention to what they say, because they’re
telling you these things to help you get better at
joke-telling. Remember, nobody is born being a
good joke teller. It’s something you learn how to do
as you do it.

You will get better when you practice, just like you
get better at anything when you keep trying to get
brilliant at doing it. Pretend you’re a joke-telling
athlete. If you make a mistake, keep trying! You
WILL get better at it!
If you’ve done these 5 things, you know your three jokes,
you know why they’re funny, and now you also know how
to make people laugh!
Keep learning more jokes and keep practicing your jokes!
Soon, you’ll find people are always happy to have you
around because you can always make them laugh.
And isn’t that a wonderful talent to have?

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Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

1. What was the rabbit’s favorite song?
Don’t worry, be hoppy!

2. What’s a cat’s favorite button on the remote?
Paws.

3. What did the shopper say to the sales clerk at the
gift-wrapping counter?
“I could never do your job. There’s just so much
paperwork!”

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Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

4. Why is it hard for crabs and lobsters to share their
toys?
Because they’re shell-fish.

5. Dogs can be pets, but not cats. Why not?
Because dogs have owners, but cats have staff.

6. What did one flea say to the other?
“Should we walk, or take the dog?”

7. How do you make a band stand?
Take away all their chairs.

8. Name some keys that can’t ever open locks.
Monkeys, donkeys, piano keys, computer or phone
keyboard keys and turkeys.

9. A male deer and a female pig got married and
moved into a castle. What did they call their new
home?
Buck-and-Ham Palace.

10. A pig fell asleep under the hot sun. What did he say
when he woke up?
“I’m bacon out here!”

11. Name a woodpecker’s favorite kind of jokes.
They like knock-knock jokes.

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Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

12. Name three animals that grow up and grow down
at the same time.
Ducklings, cygnets (they’re baby swans) and
goslings (or baby geese). Down is the name for their
soft inner feathers that keep them warm.

13. What did the teenager who didn’t like math say
when his teacher asked him to use “geometry” in a
sentence?
“A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke
one day and said, 'Gee, I’m a tree.’ ”

14. What did the owl say are her favorite mystery
stories?
She likes a good whooo-dunit.

15. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the rooster how to do it.

16. What did the eel say is his favorite card game?
Go-Fish.

17. What two letters of the alphabet contain nothing?
M. T.

18. A cowboy rode into town on Friday, got all his
errands done in two days and left on Friday. How
did he do it?
Friday is his horse’s name.

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Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

19. Where do polar bears go on vacation?
They take a cruise to Brrrrr-muda.

20. What is in December that isn’t in any other month?
The letter “D.”

21. What is the longest word in English?
Smiles. There’s a mile between the first letter and
the last letter.

22. What did the math book say to the history book?
“You’ve got dates, but I’ve got nothing but
problems!”

23. Where does Thursday come before Wednesday?
In the dictionary.

24. Why was the new house a crime scene?
The walls got held up and the doors and windows
were framed for it.

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Fun Jokes For Funny Kids

25. The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain
But it’s a pain to explain
Why this watery terrain
Is the place you should explore,
When sunny beaches are next door!

26. There is only one word in English that has three
double letters in a row. What is this word? (Hint:
it’s a job some people have.)
Bookkeeper.

27. What do you call a square that’s been in an
accident?
A wreck-tangle.

28. What starts with “T,” ends with “T” and is full of
“T?”
A teapot.

29. What did the lazy shopper say when the
salesperson said, “This computer will do half your
work for you!”
“Awesome! I’ll take two of them!”

30. What room is too small for anyone to live in?
A mushroom.

31. Why shouldn’t you whisper secrets to your friend
when you’re standing in a farmer’s field?

15

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