The Parish Patch - Edition 1 - 2017

THE PARISH

PATCH

FREESummer 2017 Edition - Issue 1

A PUBLICATION FOR THE
PEOPLE OF THE HASWELLS

In this  Events and Activities
FIRST The Haswells Carnival 2017
edition St Paul's Church

The Haswells Residents Association

Haswell Methodist Chapel
The Notice Board
Haswell Friendship Club
The Haswells Youth Forum
Quiz Page
Lets have a LAUGH!

Photo courtesy of facebook.com/haswell.plough

The Haswells Community Party

Welcome to the first ever edition of THE PARISH PATCH - a publication for the people, businesses and
organisations of The Haswells.  Making this publication was one of the very first things we set out to do
and we hope that everyone enjoys it!

We will be producing a new edition every three months and hope that it will inform you of the many
things that take place in our parish.  There's loads of events and activities taking place over the year
and we want to make sure that everyone knows about them.

There's lots of scope for the publication to grow and adapt over time.  We can do this with your help so
please don't hesitate to contact us with any suggestions or if you would like to see your business
advertised in a later edition.  We're also delighted that each publication will include pieces written by
the many groups and organisations that are in the parish.  It also includes plenty of fun and adverts
from local businesses, as well as an introduction to the brand new Residents Association!

Finally, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their support since we became the
parish council in May 2017.  We take this responsibility seriously and will continue to communicate,
listen and do our best for everyone who lives here.

Kind regards,  [email protected]
Chris Hood
Chairman - The Haswells Community Party

The Haswells Residents Association

A Residents Association was officially formed on 24th May 2017 with a clear message from the floor –
bring back our community spirit, and that is exactly what we are aiming to do, with your help and
support. As a relative newcomer to the area ( a mere twelve years), I have always appreciated the
friendliness and warmth of the village and thought 'what a really lovely village this could be, if only......'
Well, 'if only' has ended for me, along with the association members, I will be working to reignite some
spirit back into the community and would welcome any adult resident to our next meeting . We NEED
your support!

Our current plans include:
* Providing a voice for the residents of the Haswells – objecting to the Tuthill Quarry planning
application is our current project.
* Provide opportunities for people to have a good time and meet and greet friends and neighbours –
Summer Fetes, Haswells in Bloom, Scarecrow Week etc.
* Actively improve the village environment.
* Liaise with the Parish Council and other bodies as appropriate, concerning planning and other related
matters of importance to the village.

To achieve our aims and objectives we need:
* Funding – any ideas for fundraising, or donations gladly received!
* Ideas and feedback about what you would like to see in the Haswells.
* YOU. Join our association, volunteer, give us ideas, suggestions and help. 

Kind regards, [email protected]
Jackie Maull
Chairman - The Haswells Residents Association NEXT MEETING IS ON MONDAY 24TH JULY 2017 

The Notice Board

Every Wednesday Thurs 5th July 2017 Sat 8th July 2017
in school term-time St Paul's Church  Songs of St Paul's - come
Playtime at St Paul's,
Coffee morning with and sing favourite
Activities and bacon sandwiches, hymns to celebrate 150
refreshments for under home baking and years of worship!  Free
produce for sale entry, light refreshments
5s and their carers 10.15 am
1.30-3pm   Sat 29th J  uly 2017 7.00pm 

Sun 16th July 2017 St Paul's Summer Fair
Messy Church at St with 150th anniversary
Paul's Worship, crafts
and tea for all the display and art
exhibition, stalls, games
family
3-5pm   and refreshments
11am-2pm 

Sun 30th July 2017 Advance Notice:
St Paul's Church Fri 22nd - Sun 24th September

150th Anniversary Service St Paul's 150th Anniversary
with the Bishop of Jarrow Flower and Harvest Festival.  If
and the Easington Deanery
you would like to sponsor an
Choir, followed by tea. arrangement to commemorate
2.30pm  an event or a loved one, please

contact the church.

CHURCH GIRLS & FREE FAMILY FUN DAYS AT
CHURCH LADS BRIGADE THE LISA DIXON CENTRE

Meetings are held in Jack Wed 26th July 2017
Turnbull Hall at St Saviours Wed 2nd August 2017
Church, Shotton every Thursday Wed 9th August 2017
Wed 16th August 2017
from 6pm Wed 23rd August 2017
Wed 30th August 2017
Contact Elaine McCarroll on
07476349401 or Colin Peters on 11am - 3pm

07970920332

Want to put a message on the notice board in the
October, November and December Issue?

Simply email:

[email protected]



St Paul's Church

Dear Friends

It is a privilege to write a few words for this first edition of the Haswell Parish Patch. I’m Anna,
the Priest in Charge of Haswell, Thornley and Shotton, and for the past two years I have enjoyed
meeting lots of people in the Haswells.

Right now, St Paul’s is celebrating its 150th Anniversary - you may have seen the banner outside
the church and it’s also on our Facebook page. This is a celebration for the whole community, not
just those who come to church services and we are marking it with events throughout the year
– see the dates list for what is coming up next!

St Paul’s has been the church on the hill in Haswell since
1867, built when Haswell was a thriving colliery town, with
a busy station, at the heart of local industry. Much has
now changed but St Paul’s remains,  a symbol of God’s
never-ending love for all the people of these remarkable
villages, from our oldest residents to the new babies
joining the community this year. And St Paul’s plays a
special part in all stages of life, as we celebrated last month
in the exhibition at church, ‘Hatched and Matched in 

Haswell’.  If you missed it, some of the photos will be on display again in July, along with a series
of original watercolours by local artist Bob Ord.
 
But as I write this today our Facebook page also has a message to the people of Manchester,
following the loss of so many young lives at the Arena on 22nd May. The Haswell community
understands such a tragedy, and how to support one another through loss and suffering,
because it is part of our story too. The explosion at Haswell Pit in 1844 claimed 95 lives, many of
them young men and boys, and they will never be forgotten, indeed the new Haswell Banner
dedicated last year commemorates them. So too does the Pit Memorial with its beautiful
sculpture of faces, reflecting the way those miners were found huddled together when disaster
struck.  

This picture was taken at the memorial on Easter Day
2017, just a few weeks ago. We gathered at dawn to
celebrate the resurrection of Christ, who came to earth
to break the power of evil and death in our world. The
good news (gospel) of Jesus brings hope, light and life
where there has been despair, darkness and death.  My
prayer for us all is that, just as we gathered on Easter
morning, this community may come together and
work for renewed hope, light and life, as we support
each other and look to God for the future.

AnnaWith all good wishes
Anna Brooker
Priest in Charge, Haswell, Shotton and Thornley Photos courtesy of Edward Nicholl
0191 526 177 ([email protected]) and Anna Brooker

Haswell Friendship Club

The Haswell Friendship Club has been running for over 20 years and meets on the
second Wednesday of every month at The Hazelwell Centre.

It runs from 1.00pm until 3.00pm and is an occassion for social discourse, a game of
bingo and a music quiz.  We also have annual outings and a Christmas party are
arranged for our members.  

It's great for those people who are  over 60 so if you want to join, just come along and
we will make you feel very welcome!

Kind regards,
Pat Dunstone
Haswell Friendship Club

The Peter McKenzie Methodist Church

Services are on Sundays at 2.30pm
Available for Weddings, Christenings and Funerals.
Minister Rev. Christopher Wood Archer  - 0191 3770230
2017 Harvest Festival
Sunday 1st October 2017 - Service
Monday 2nd October 2017 - Sale of Produce
All are welcome.
Mrs Jean Gray
Church Steward - The Peter McKenzie Methodist Church
0191 5266453

THE HASWELLS COMMUNITY PARTY

Meetings this quarter

Wednesday 19th July 2017 Giant Steps Nursery, Haswell Village

Wednesday 2nd August 2017 The Lisa Dixon Centre (Party Members Only)

Thursday 14th September 2017 The Oddfellows Arms, Haswell Village

Thursday 12th October 2017 The Gables Hotel, Haswell Plough

All meetings start at 6:30pm

1. What are the  real names of the 2 Hairy Bikers? 9. Where did Noah's Ark come to rest?

Quiz Corner 2. Name the prison in the TV series Porridge? 10. What is produced by  a Bessemer converter?

3. Entomology is the study of what? 11. Which letter represents 500 in  Roman

4. What is the longest bone in the human body? numerals?

5. What was a florin worth in old money? 12. What does a numismatist collect?

6. To which animals does vulpine refer? 13. What is a Sally Lunn?

7. In which county is Stonehenge? 14. What  would you keep in an Apiary?

8. What are crampons used for? 15. Name the fourth book of the Old Testament

ANSWERS INSIDE BACK PAGE



It's Great to be British! Haswell Youth Forum
Under 18 years old?
Want to be part of something NEW?
Come to our meeting on
WEDNESDAY 5TH JULY 2017 at
The Lisa Dixon Centre at  6.00pm

We are creating a new YOUTH FORUM where
young people from across The Haswells can help us
to find out what  they really want in their villages.

If you're interested in helping, simply email:
[email protected] 

Lets have a LAUGH!

A soldier and an officer walk into a bakery.  The officer steals
three pasties and puts them into his side pocket.  He says to  the
 soldier  "See how good I am, the owner didn't even see me do that!"
The soldier says to the officer "That's very dishonest of you sir, let
me show you the honest way to get the same result."
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says "Please may I have a
pasty and I'll show you a magic trick?"
The owner is intrigued and hands the soldier a pasty.  The soldier
eats the pasty and asks for another one which he also eats.  The
soldier then asks for a third pasty and eats it.  The owner is now
getting a little angry and asks "Where's the magic? Where have
the pasties gone?"
The soldier replies "Look in the officers side pocket......"

Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then
driving home, grabbing an Indian Curry, Chinese Takeaway or a Turkish Kebab on the
way to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.....

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house quicker than an ambulance or a police car
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk to the back of the shop for
prescriptions when healthy folk can buy cigarettes at the front  
Only in Britain do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries and a DIET COKE  
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open but chain the pens to the counter  
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our
junk and lawnmowers in the garage  

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering Christmas trees with fairy lights on them  
3 Brits die each year testing 9 volt batteries on their tongue  
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all the pins from a new shirt.

The Haswell Hump
You’ve heard about the Lambton worm
That terrorised the area The parish council phone each other
The Chairman said “This isn’t right”
But have you heard of the Haswell Hump The council meet here every month
A creature even scarier
They’ll miss their meeting night

He was created by a scientist, Now Chris he was a diplomat
Genetically engineered A talker through and through
But when you get to his age
And a mixture of genes in him There’s nowt much else to do
Made him all the more feared

He used a lion’s gene for strength So Chris approached the creature
A whippet’s gene for speed And shouted ‘What’s your game?’
The Hump just looked down sadly
And just to give it plenty of legs And to Chris he seemed quite tame
A bit of centipede

He used a bit of kangaroo “Look here old chap, we can’t have this
To ensure it could jump
You’re ruining the village you see
And a camel to keep it from thirsting away Just tell me what your problem is
That’s why they call it the hump And leave it all to me.”

A little bit of gloworm A tear rolled down the creatures face
So it could be seen at night He sobbed “I feel so sad
Then a giraffe and an elephant
To get the height and size right All I want is to make friends
I’m not really such a bad lad”

The result of all this mixture So Chris introduced him to everyone
Was such a strange sight to behold And brought them out to see
That the scientist kept it locked away
What a friendly soul the Hump really was
And not a soul he told And so it turned out to be

But the scientist was getting old They found him a job in the village centre
And one day passed away Where he stood there tall and erect
With a friendly word for one and all
The creature was left there all alone He quickly gained respect
And wandered out one day

He met some people in the street At night, he shone around the place
They couldn’t believe what they saw For years, he cast that ray

They ran and kept on running But then alas his light grew dim
As he let out a plaintive roar And he slowly faded away

The news of their strange encounter So raise a glass to Dr. Doolittle Chris
Soon passed around the place Who saved us all from harm
By talking to the animals
And everyone stopped in their homes
Afraid to show a face With his typical northern charm

For a couple of days, he wandered around And when you go out at night
Through street that were deserted Don’t be scared or jumpy

All residents locked behind their doors If you see a ghostly glow in the sky
Totally disconcerted It’s only the spirit of Humpy.

The thing did no one any harm Written by
Nor damaged anywhere George Dunstone

It just kept giving that mournful cry
Creating an awful scare

The Lisa Dixon Centre

Can I start by saying that we at The Lisa Dixon Centre are incredibly excited by this new era for The
Haswells.  Growing up in Haswell Plough, where many of you will remember the general dealers,
betting shop and the famous "Jean and Bertie Buck's Fish Shop" was an exciting time, which I have
fond memories of.

I later moved to Haswell when I was married and  started a family and as many of you know, when
our first daughter was born with profound and multiple learning disabilities we were overwhelmed
by the support we received from the people in The Haswell.  A community spirit I am incredibly
proud of and humbled by.  It was this community spirit that led to the formation of Haswell Mencap,
now based in The Lisa Dixon Centre, named in memory of our daughter.

We are one big happy family at The Lisa Dixon Centre and pride ourselves on making new friends.  If
you haven't yet popped in, come and say hello, have a look around and lets build on the community
spirit that we have seen over the last few months to get The Haswells thriving again.

MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY SUNDAY
9am - 5pm 10am - 11am 9.30am - 10.30am 6pm -7pm 12pm - 2pm
Food Bank Fitness Class
Collection Credit Fitness Class Sunday
Union £2.50 £2.50 Lunches

Yours in Partnership Like us on Facebook
Jean Dixon MBE 'Lisa Dixon Centre' & 'Haswell Mencap'

Charity Manager (and proud resident of The Haswells) 

Haswell & District Mencap

Giant Steps Nursery Haswell

Firstly may we take this opportunity in congratulating The Haswells Community Party
in securing their positions as Haswell Parish Councillors.  We look forward to seeing all
the positive changes in bringing this amazing community together.

We have been in Haswell for nearly 2 years now and we have been made to feel
exceptionally welcome by the community and surrounding areas so we would like to
thank you all so much.  We feel honoured and privileged when parents and carers put
their trust in us to care and educate the most important people to them, their children.
 This is not something we take for granted and we aspire to work in partnership with
parents and carers in ensuring their children’s early years are the most rewarding, giving
them life long skills.   Gaining our ‘Outstanding’ grade from Ofsted hopefully goes some
way in showing how much we take pride in our nursery and the service we offer.

We offer care and education from 0-8 years so please feel free to come and see us if you
feel we can help in any way. We would also like to hear your voice on what other services
you feel may be of benefit to you and the community.

Thank you! Like us on Facebook – Giant Steps Nursery
Paula Eggleston www.giantstepsnursery.co.uk
Manager - Giant Steps Nursery Haswell

QUIZ ANSWERS: 1. Si King & Dave Myers, 2. Slade Prison, 3. Insects,  4. The Femur, 5. Two Shillings, 6. Fox, 7. Wiltshire, 8.
Mountain  Climbing, 9. Mount Arrarat, 10.  Steel, 11. D, 12. Coins, 13. A Bun, 14. Bees, 15.  Numbers



The Haswells Carnival 2017

11.00amtil4.00pm:: TheParishPlayingFields

Saturday19thAugust2017

Inflatables Rides Music Competitions
Games Animals
Food Sports

Keep an eye on the Haswell Parish Council Website & Facebook Page for details!

HASWELL PARISH COUNCIL

Full Council Meeting Dates

June                           Tuesday 27th June 2017
July                             Tuesday 25th July 2017
August                    No Meeting
Sept                            Tuesday 26th Sept 2017

All members of the public are very welcome.  All meetings at 6.30pm and are held at
The Hazelwell Centre.  Visit the Haswell Parish Council Facebook Page:

www.facebook.com/haswellparishcouncil or website at www.haswell.parish.durham.gov.uk

The Parish Patch
Edited by George Dunstone
Produced by The Haswells Community Party

[email protected]

www.facebook.com/thehaswellscommunityparty

twitter.com/TheHaswellsCP

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