LP Feb 2022

CLOSURE
Letting go
Laxmi Nair’s father’s ill health and eventual passing away opened her up to the realisation of non-attachment and surrender as well as divine grace
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When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth, you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
— Kahlil Gibran
My father was diagnosed with 90 per cent renal failure in December 2004 and was undergoing dialysis thrice a week. It drained him of his energy, with the impact of drawing blood showing on his frail body. He was usually withdrawn except during eating, as he appreciated good food and great company. Two years later, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Doctors suggested surgery as treatment. It was a complicated surgery since he was diabetic, had high blood pressure, and was also a dialysis patient.
Post-surgery recovery was painful, as the hospital nurse had administered drips in error which rendered him breathless in a few minutes. Thanks to my mom’s presence of mind, she informed our family doctor, who immediately called the hospital and asked them to perform dialysis. After that, he was administered high saturated levels of oxygen due to persistent breathing difficulties. There was a huge oxygen mask on his face (bigger than usual), and since he was in extreme pain, he kept moving his hands and legs while trying to remove the mask off his face and the other wires he was hooked on to. To prevent this, they took the extreme step to tie his hands and legs to the bed. We were beyond our wits, trying to
control our tears, else they would have asked us to leave his room.
Trying times
The world came crashing down upon us, just going through that night, which felt like one lifetime; it was unbearable to see my father this way. That day, I felt pain and a certain numbness even without being physically hurt or wounded. They removed the mask sometime around midnight with my mother beside him all through, like a rock.
A few days later, he was discharged with a urinary catheter tied at his waist inside his shirt and the operation wound still bleeding. With great relief, I drove him back home just wanting to take him away from the depressing hospital atmosphere to the warmth of our home, which I was sure would heal him faster. While trying to support him onto his feet, I saw blood on the car seat. It was a sign of more to come in the days ahead. We had to steel ourselves for the next few months as he got mentally disoriented and went through deep bouts of hallucinations: an effect of high doses of medicines, dialysis, and, especially, post- operative trauma.
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By the grace of God and my master, this period of hallucinations stopped surprisingly two months later. Dad woke up one morning at 5 a.m. and had his morning tea with my mother, as had been their routine, where they would catch up on the previous day’s happenings or else just sit in silence enjoying their tea together.
His emotions would switch without reason; he was like a kid most of the time, and then sometimes we would find him crying. When he was calmer, he would smile and we looked forward to those moments with him. There were also times when he would get aggressive, and it was difficult to keep him from walking out of the door. He would tell us, “They are coming to get me; I need to run away to someplace safe.” We had to make him believe that we were a part of that same world and that it was far safer inside at home. During such times of despair, I thought of every single thing I could do to get my dad back to being normal. Though I was left feeling helpless, it made me realise the true meaning of surrender and faith.
Though these times were tough, our mother wore all hats and ensured her family remained sane. She had accepted the situation and was
doing everything possible to make every day as normal as it could be. Prayers and faith in the universal force that this was happening for a reason gave us comfort during these times.
Guru’s grace
By the grace of God and my master, this period of hallucinations stopped surprisingly two months later. Dad woke up one morning at 5 a.m. and had his morning tea with my mother, as had been their routine, where they would catch up on the previous day’s happenings or else just sit in silence enjoying their tea together. When we woke up that day, it felt like the last two months were a dream, and we could feel a wave of relief when we saw our father back in form. He told us, “I had this dream early morning, where I saw our ancestral goddess come on a white horse and bless me, after which I woke up.” He did not
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remember a thing about the ordeals of the last two months. It was like that time was wiped out of his memory.
He then went on to live a quality life with minor issues for almost two years post that surgery. After all that he had gone through, we wanted to see him leading a good life and not quitting in the midst of issues. Sometimes, I wonder if I was selfish to think that way, but those two years helped both my dad and us prepare for the end. We had got good paying jobs by then and wanted to give our father the best we could in all aspects. We did manage to do that by the grace of God, though there would always be something more that could have been done.
Accept and move on
The time we got post his surgery helped us understand that though we will always want the best for our loved ones, when the time
comes, we should allow them to leave in peace and not cling to them. It allows them to depart with grace and helps them in their journey to the next realm. I remember reading a quote by Herman Hesse that really resonated with me: “Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” Another realisation was that however much we may be able to provide in terms of care, hospitalisation and the best of doctors, their body is in pain and suffering. This impacts them mentally and emotionally as well. We may be able to delay the end but not change it. In such cases, we should accept the truth, aid them in whatever way possible, and not cling to them emotionally.
I have to thank God and my master for helping us through these rough times. I visited my master just a week before my father passed away, when I broke down into tears. I don’t recall crying like that before or after. Her warm
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Sometimes strength lies in letting go


Though we will always want the best for our loved ones, when the time comes, we should allow them to leave in peace and not cling to them. It allows them to depart with grace and helps them in their journey to the next realm.
hug comforted me, and through her silence, I just knew then that my father’s journey to the next realm would come soon and will be taken care of.
The chariot of the Lord
When I was back, doctors had informed my mother that he was on the last rung of the ladder after being a fighter all along. A week later, my father passed away due to a cardiac arrest after having his morning tea. The moment I had been dreading all along happened, and I was mentally and emotionally prepared for it. A few months later, I dreamt of a full moon
night, wherein I saw my master, father, and a white horse. I woke up feeling good and with the thought that my father was happy wherever he was.
A year later, after my father passed away, I visited my master again. It was late evening when, after meeting her, I came out and looked up at the sky. It was a full moon night. A few yards away, there was a goddess temple with a statue of the Sun Lord’s chariot with seven white horses on its roof. I walked away with a smile on my face.
We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article. Mail us at [email protected]
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ATTITUDE
The Power of Positive Thinking
This article by Darshan Goswami lends credence to the credo ‘What you think, you become.’ So read it with a positive attitude and change your life.
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More and more people (including body. You can tap this capability by following
doctors and scientists) are turning
to positive thinking because it is a powerful tool for transforming your inner self into an amazing health-generating and self-healing entity. Optimistic people have discovered that the human mind has the power to turn wishes into reality through positive thinking. Researchers continue to find increasing evidence pointing to the many benefits of positive thinking. According to a Stanford Research Institute study, success is 88 per cent positive thinking and only 12 per cent education. Therefore, positive thinking is an important factor in your ability to succeed in life.
Positive thinking is an optimistic state of mind that always sees the bright side of life and focusses on the glass being half full instead of half empty. It is a mental attitude that produces constructive results. Positive thinking brings inner satisfaction, happiness, peace, and better health. It improves relationships and attracts success into your life. While we all have this powerful tool, many of us are not aware of it.
Some long-term studies on positive thinking and health have been conducted, which confirm that positive thinking strengthens the immune system and assists in healing. The evidence so far affirms that positive thinking leads to positive outcomes. Perhaps the greatest contribution made by psychology and neuroscience is in proving that positive thinking is linked to virtues like kindness and compassion, and that it leads to ‘wealth’ of mind, body, and soul.
How does the power of positive thinking work?
According to psychology, our mind controls our
a few simple steps. Everyone is capable of programming their mind to achieve what they desire. By learning to direct your thinking, you can change the way you behave and achieve a positive mindset. With a positive mindset, you always expect more joy, happiness, better health, and greater success, which also helps you reduce your stress levels. Whatever your mind thinks and believes is what you expect. Anticipate positive situations and you’ll get positive outcomes. So, taking charge of your mind becomes a vital factor in keeping your body healthy. You can do this through affirmations and by consciously relaxing your mind through meditation.
The power of positive thinking helps us cope more easily with the daily affairs of life and see opportunities all around us, and gives us the courage to act when the moments of truth arise. There is no greater joy than a healthy, positive life. You feel exhilarated, energetic, happy, and on top of the world. A sense of total well-being permeates your mind. The future looks bright. You feel good to be alive. Adopting positive thinking as a way of life will bring constructive changes into your life and make it happier, brighter, and more successful. An emerging field of psychology takes a scientific approach to the power of positive thinking and has come up with some surprising revelations:
• Positive thinking is a ‘skill’ that can be learned to create happiness.
• Happiness is the cause of positive outcomes in life, not the result.
• Wealth does not bring happiness, but using one’s wealth to benefit others does contribute to personal happiness.
• Happy people tend to have deep religious or spiritual beliefs.
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How to develop positive thinking?
Many of us know what positive thinking is, but not all of us know how to be positive or how to maintain a positive attitude. Watch what you say; try to say positive things to people and avoid complaining and making negative statements. To turn the mind toward positive thinking, some inner work is required, since attitude and thoughts do not change overnight.
You can develop this state of mind by reading inspiring and motivating literature and through visualisation, affirmations, and meditation. When your state of mind is generally optimistic, you’re able to handle everyday stress more constructively. This ability may contribute to the widely observed health benefits of positive thinking.
Here are 10 simple things you can do to jump-start positive thinking:
1. Smile and laugh: It has been scientifically proven that smiling can improve your overall mood and outlook in life. Laughter is the best medicine and they aren’t lying. Join a yoga laughter club or take to a meditation practice for calming the mind, body, and soul.
2. Help others unselfishly: Focus on helping others by donating your time, wisdom, and money.
3. Eliminate your ego: Human ego is a dangerous thing since it makes people criticise and judge others.
4. Gratitude: Being grateful improves your chances of becoming more happy and content in your life. By being thankful for what you have, you will achieve true happiness.
5. Set goals: Write down your goals daily and
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Set goals and work towards them to become a happy person


Positive thinking is a mental attitude that helps us see the silver lining. Having a positive mindset causes us to anticipate happiness, joy, health, and favourable results. Real and effective positive thinking requires focussing on positive thoughts and positive emotions, and also taking positive action to bring about favourable outcomes.
plan out your priorities top to bottom. Having goals will provide the drive and motivation you need to become happy and successful in life.
6. Train your mind to focus on more positive thoughts: Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts and also take positive action.
7.Surround yourself with positive people:
Hang out with people who have a positive attitude and outlook on life.
8. Be persistent and find positivity in all situations: Make positive thinking a daily habit and a way of life.
9. Work out and eat right: Eating healthy and working out will keep you in a great state of being and help maintain an active mind. Go for a long walk, run, or go to the gym. Also include yoga, meditation, and pranayama in your daily routine.
10. Listen to your favourite music: It will keep you cheerful.
Health benefits of positive thinking
Researchers continue to explore the health
benefits that are produced by positive thinking and optimism. For example, positive thinking may help to:
• lower stress levels
• improve your body’s immune system
• make you more resilient and develop the ability to overcome life’s difficulties bring more happiness and respect from other
people
• increase your lifespan
• create greater inner power and strength to
inspire and motivate yourself and others • reduce depression
Positive thinking is a mental attitude that helps us see the silver lining. Having a positive mindset causes us to anticipate happiness, joy, health, and favourable results. Real and effective positive thinking requires focussing on positive thoughts and positive emotions, and also taking positive action to bring about favourable outcomes.
The power of positive thinking is about committing yourself to get the most out of your day—every day. It is about being enthusiastic, keeping your mind focussed on important things, and developing strategies for dealing with problems. It can also help you to look
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back at things that happen along the way and view them as positive life lessons. In addition, in sharing a positive mood and positive experiences, you and those around you enjoy an emotional boost.
We create our entire world by the way we think. Thoughts are the causes and conditions are the effects. Our circumstances and conditions are not dictated by the world outside; it is the world inside us that creates the outside. Regardless of our circumstances, each person has the innate, God-given ability to create or alter reality using the power of positive thinking.
Positive thinking reduces stress by eliminating negative self-talk which, in turn, can even improve your health. So, refuse to waste time participating in negative inner dialogues.
Instead, display a more positive emotional and mental attitude toward yourself, other people, and situations.
Positive thinking is the cause of success and happiness. Positive thinkers will look at circumstances realistically, search for ways to improve a situation, and try to learn from their experiences. Positive thinking helps you cope more easily with the daily affairs of life. It brings optimism into your life and makes it easier to avoid worries and negative thinking. If you adopt positive thinking, it will bring constructive changes into your life and make experiences happier, brighter and more successful. Choose to be positive. You’ll feel better, make others feel better, and you’ll look younger too.
We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article. Mail us at [email protected]
A regular workout regimen keeps you in a positive state of mind
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MUDRAS
Ladies’ special
Abhay Kumar Shah tackles a common health problem in women—urinary tract infection—with the help of mudras
Shankh Mudra Apan Mudra Prana Mudra Udaan Mudra
oday’s discussion is particularly relevant for women, as urinary tract infection (UTI) is a common health issue with almost every woman. Let us discuss its symptoms, causes, and remedies.
An infection which occurs in any organ of the urinary system, such as the kidneys, ureters, bladder, and urethra is called a UTI. However, the majority of cases involve infection in the lower part of the urinary tract, i.e., in the bladder and the urethra. Because of the physical structure and the placement of the organs, women are more at risk of catching this infection. Generally, infection is restricted to the bladder, which can be painful and annoying, but it is of lesser risk. Serious consequences may occur if the infection reaches the kidneys.
Symptoms
Classical symptoms may include all or some of the following: • Constant and tenacious urge for urination.
• Burning sensation while urinating.
• Frequent urination due to inability to empty the bladder. • Urine with a tinge of red, which is a sign of blood.
• Urine having a strong smell.
• Pain near the pelvic bone in women.
There are more specific symptoms for different types of UTI.
Infected kidney ( Acute Pyelonephritis.): Back pain or side flank pain, shaking and chills, nausea and vomiting.
Infected bladder (Cystitis): Pelvic pressure and discomfort in the lower abdomen, frequent and painful urination, and blood in the urine.
Infected Urethra (Urethritis): Burning while urinating and discharge.
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Mudra Remedies
Shankh Mudra
Place the right thumb on the left palm, on the hill below the left thumb. Wrap all the fingers of the left palm, except the thumb, around the right thumb. Touch the tip of the left thumb to the tip of the right index finger. Rest the remaining three fingers of the right hand on the back of the left palm. One can interchange the hands. Do it for 16 minutes with both hands, twice or thrice a day.
Shankh Mudra empowers the kidneys.
Apana Mudra
Touch the tip of the thumb to the tips of the middle and the ring fingers. Keep the remaining two fingers comfortably straight. Place the back of the palms on the thighs or knees. Do it for 16 minutes with both hands, twice or thrice a day.
Apana Mudra strengthens all the organs in the lower abdomen.
Udaan Mudra
Touch the tip of the thumb to the tip of the index finger. Put the tip of the middle finger on the nail of the index finger. Keep the remaining two fingers comfortably straight. Place the back of the palms on the thighs or knees.
Do it for 16 minutes with both hands, twice or thrice a day.
Prana Mudra
Touch the tip of the thumb to the tips of the ring and the little fingers. Keep the remaining two fingers comfortably straight. Place the back of the palms on the thighs or knees. Do it for 16 minutes with both hands, twice or thrice a day.
Prana Mudra enhances immunity and helps to fight the infection.
This combination works well for UTI. So ladies, please practise it and keep yourselves fit, healthy, and happy.
Abhay Kumar Shah is a mechanical engineer, who has learnt Mudra Shastra from experts and established his own method of using this science correctly, and in the modern context. He can be reached at: [email protected]
We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article. Mail us at [email protected]
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TRIBUTE
Farewell, Mother of love
Life Positive remembers the late Sindhutai Sapkal an apostle of selfless service
S indhutai Sapkal, Padmashri, popularly known as the mother of orphans, passed away on January 4, 2022, of a
cardiac arrest in Pune at the age of 73.
Sindhutai was married at 10 and abandoned by all at 20, but through her undying spirit, she converted her begging bowl into a bowl of abundance that brought food, love, and shelter to hundreds of abandoned children. Her education stopped early as she got married at the age of 10 to Shrihari Sapkal, alias Harbaji, who was 30. She went with him and bore him three sons.
Even when young, she was always conscious of injustice. The village women in Navargaon (where she lived) would collect cow dung, but it would be auctioned to the landlords who
would pocket the cash. She won this initial battle but faced further troubles. A landlord who had lost his money, vengefully spread a rumour that the child she was carrying, her fourth pregnancy, was his. Her husband beat her up and threw her out of the house. Her child was born in a cowshed, where she delivered her child herself, after which she started begging at railway platforms for food to look after her daughter, Mamata (which means motherly love—an apt name since Mamata was indeed Sindhutai’s reason for living).
Soon, she saw the plight of orphaned and abandoned Adivasi children and made it her mission to give them a better life. She started begging not just for herself but for all orphaned children. People responded, slowly but surely. In 2010, Anant Mahadevan, along with Sanjay Pawar, made a Marathi feature film, Me Sindhutai Sapkal, on her life story, which received the National Award for best screenplay and dialogue, and a Special Jury award in these two categories as well.
She began her new life asking for help with a begging bowl. Before passing on to the Creator, her begging bowl overflowed with love and care for the orphaned and loveless. The Creator must have definitely welcomed her with open arms as she had won the battle of life with her undying spirit. Om Shanti, Sindhutai. May we all learn to love from you.
by Jamuna Rangachari
We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article. Mail us at [email protected]
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BANYAN TREE
TEACHING STORY
KINDNESS TRANSFORMS
Once, not so long ago, there lived a grumpy, ugly, and rather smelly old man. Every morning, he would pick himself up from the dirt and start walking the main road as usual in search of food. He would thus spend his days trying to find food and shelter, but every day, town folk and villagers would chase him away, teasing him and calling him names. Many days were spent like this, hungry and alone.
“Hey you over there, you!” shouted a man. “You smell so bad my pigs have just hidden themselves. Ha ha ha!” As the grumpy, smelly man heard this new insult he could feel himself becoming just a wee bit grumpier and stinkier than he had been a few moments before.
“Oi, smelly britches,” laughed a little girl.
“Get out of our town, you grumpy, smelly thing,” shouted an angry woman.
“Leave us alone,” added another. “You’re not welcome, looking as ugly as a dog’s dinner.”
Walking out of town, our old man was feeling awful. He was terribly hungry and extremely lonely. He felt even grumpier this morning and started muttering under his smelly breath, all the way to the next village. Over there lived a wise man of high repute and a master in dealing with all matters of the heart and mind. Upon entering the village, fresh insults were hurled in his direction, and he already felt slightly grumpier than he did a moment ago. His heart sank and he began to feel like his life was hopeless; he was sure he wouldn’t eat today.
Hearing the commotion, the highly revered wise man approached the scene. He watched how each fresh insult made the grumpy, smelly old man just ever so slightly smellier and grumpier. And so he devised a wise plan. He explained to the villagers how this poor man was suffering greatly and that the only cure for this great suffering was kindness. He told the local villagers that they must begin to praise him and bestow happiness upon him. On hearing this, the villagers’ hearts went out to the grumpy old man.
“Welcome to our village,” a young woman said to the old man.
“You must be tired with all your walking; let me help you,” said another and gently assisted the old man.
And every time they welcomed the grumpy, smelly old man into their hearts, he would become ever so slightly less smelly and a touch less grumpy. And the more the villagers could see how sending kindness towards the grumpy old man was working, the more they praised him, making him a happier and nicer person altogether.
Eventually, every trace of the ugly, smelly, grumpy old man was replaced by a handsome, kind-hearted, and happy old man. He spent the rest of his days living in that wonderful little village and became a life-long student of the wise man who had turned his life around.
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INSPIRATION
EMBRACING YOURSELF
Only by learning to
Fully embrace all aspects of ourselves Even the most seemingly
Negative elements of our minds and heart Will we learn to fully
Embrace others. Only by
Discovering the basic goodness
in both our lotus and our mud
will we come to see the
basic goodness of all living beings. —Pema Chodron
ONE-MINUTE WISDOM
TRUE COLOURS
A baker wanted to get to know a great guru in his town a little better, so he invited him to dinner. The day before, the guru went to the bakery disguised as a beggar, picked a bread roll off the display, and began to eat it. The baker saw this and tossed him out into the street. The following day, the guru and a disciple went to the baker’s house and were treated to a splendid banquet. In the middle of the meal, the disciple asked, “How does one tell a good man from a bad man?” The guru replied, “Just look at this baker. He is capable of spending ten gold pieces on a banquet because I am famous, but is incapable of giving a piece of bread to feed a hungry beggar.”
QUOTE
“Peace is this moment without judgement. This moment in the heart-space where everything that is, is welcome.”
—Tara Brach
JUST FOR LAUGHS
CATHOLIC MULLA
Mulla Nasruddin was getting ready to apply to a local department store for a job. A friend told him that the store employed only Catholic Christians, and if he wanted a job there, he would have to lie about being a Catholic Christian. Nasruddin applied for the job and the employer asked him: “Which church do you belong to?” Mulla replied, “I am a Catholic. All my family is Catholic. In fact, my father is a priest, and my mother is a nun.”
Banyan Tree
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Ajay Kalra
Ajay Kalra is a life coach, psychologist, yoga teacher and an author. He teaches principles of mindful living through his monthly online classes, workshops, writing and YouTube videos.
Dr. Vanitha Vaidialingam
Dr. Vanitha Vaidialingam is a retired Commissioner of Income tax, management consultant, published author and a devoted yoga practitioner.
Naini Setalvad
Naini Setalvad is a nutritionist, specialising in lifestyle and immunity disorders. Her foundation, Health For You, throws light on healthy food habits.
Laxmi Nair
Inspired by the spiritual teachers of the land, Laxmi Nair is an ardent devotee and seeker by nature. Write to her at [email protected].
Jamuna Rangachari
Former assistant editor of Life Positive, Jamuna Rangachari has authored two books for children, and compiled and interpreted Teaching Stories-I and II for Life Positive.
Darshan Goswami
Darshan Goswami, has more than 40 years of experience in the energy field. He worked as a project manager for Renewable Energy, Micro-grid and Smart Grid projects at the United States Department of Energy (DOE) in Pittsburgh. He is an electrical engineer with a passion and commitment to promote, develop, and deploy renewable energy resources an hydrogen economy.
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