May LP E-magazine 2022

I n part one of this two part series I are routinely thwarted, or simply not
proposed the need to have a more
compassionate view towards adultery. I shall now dive deeper into the empathy worthy motivations that cause partners to cheat.
The five spears of womanly errors
There are the five spears that pierce a man’s heart, awakening in him the relationship wanderlust and luring him to go astray. These are;
1. The ego-bashing spear
When the female partner repeatedly blames and shames her man, either directly, by taunting or criticising him, or in passive aggressive ways that minimize him, making him feel good for nothing, or utterly useless, the man begins to seek other women around whom he can feel safe and accepted. These friendly interactions usually start out as innocent venting chats with friends, colleagues or acquaintances on dating apps, but can progress quite naturally into romantic dalliances.
2. The denied manhood spear
When the male partner is made to feel unmanly because he doesn’t earn enough, or when he isn’t perceived to be as powerful as the woman would like him to be, or if she treats him like a menial worker or handyman whom she can order around, she unintentionally castrates his manhood. Respect is vital in any enduring relationship and in its absence, men can get defiant and agitated, wanting to avenge their humiliation by getting back at their partner and the easiest way is to give his affections to another woman. Never hurt a man’s gender image. It can infuriate him enough to test his manhood outside the relationship.
3. The no intimacy spear
If the man’s advances for sex and intimacy
acknowledged, the man will naturally hunt for sexual fodder elsewhere. This doesn’t mean that you need to please him in bed, it simply means you need to explore why intimacy is missing and how it can be nourished. The warmth of a woman’s welcoming embrace softens the hardness of a man. He needs that tender love to tame his rough edges of worldly aggression and unexpressed emotions. Remember it’s more about intimacy than about sex.
4. The devaluation spear
When things go downhill at work, a man’s morale and self confidence take a huge hit. If this is accompanied by rejection or devaluation in his intimate relationship, the already vulnerable man gravitates more easily towards other women in whose company he can reclaim his worth. It often starts with light hearted banter and jokes, or if it’s more serious, by sharing his woes with the other woman. She then becomes the object of his attention and admiration, because she offers him comfort and emotional acceptance. Deceit is not on his mind, feeling valued is what he is yearning for, and he is easily carried away by the flow of things.
5. The monster mother spear
Men who’ve had a difficult relationship with their mother while growing up, can often end up attracting or marrying women who are mirror images of their mums. As the relationship ages, chinks of the old mother wounds begin to show up in the relationship, causing misunderstandings, disagreements and fights. Everything the man-child couldn’t say to his mother, becomes unconsciously directed towards the wife who reminds him of her. Understanding your partner’s mother wound is important to tide over these misunderstandings. If you react to his already
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Breakdowns in relationships are caused primarily by the dynamics of unmet needs, coupled by a lack of dialogue and heartfelt communication. Like there are spears of womanly errors that wound a man’s ego, women are similarly wounded by the reckless swords that men bruise her soft heart, with, debilitating her fierce loyalty to him.
triggered and reactive behaviour, it will only make things worse. An unhappy man who believes he is misunderstood and unjustly treated will seek a compassionate shoulder to lean on.
The five reckless man swords
Breakdowns in relationships are caused primarily by the dynamics of unmet needs, coupled by a lack of dialogue and heartfelt communication. Like there are spears of womanly errors that wound a man’s ego, women are similarly wounded by the reckless swords that men bruise her soft heart with, debilitating her fierce loyalty to him. The five reckless man swords are;
1. The sword of invisibility
Women need to feel seen and heard in their relationships. If they are reduced to being the wall paper that makes the relationship homely and pretty, or if she’s merely the arm candy that dresses up her man, without having a say in all decisions, a modern day woman will not model herself on the self sacrificing roles of
yesteryears. She will find a way of being seen in other places. She will shine brightly and catch the eye of other suitable boys in her ecosystem. Don’t reduce her to the fly on the wall, you may regret your folly.
2. The sword of over domestication
When a woman is overburdened with multiple responsibilities in her relationship, with little or no room to nurture and pursue her own dreams and passions, her restlessness and despondency can unleash a dangerously wild part of her psyche, that seeks fantasy and adventure. Dreams and domestication must balance each other if the relationship is to breathe. A flower must have room to grow. If you cement off the ground, the flower dies. Women need personal space and the blossoming of their creativity, amidst the frenzy of routines, to flourish in their intimate relationships.
3. The sword of emotional deprivation
What fires a woman’s heart and sexuality is her emotions. When she says, talk to me, she’s essentially seeking emotional intimacy.
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She wants to be complimented, and made to feel desirable and sensuous. She wants to be wooed and honoured, with words, gifts and meaningful conversations. She wants to be touched, gently and lovingly. When these are denied, her emotional river changes course and finds new terrains to nourish. Her soul needs the sun of compliments and the joy of deep discussions. What’s life without true bonding, she asks? Talk to your woman, understand what excites and inspires her, encourage her to dream, caress her heart and soul and she’ll remain yours forever.
4. The sword of violence
Be it verbal abuse, quiet treatment, physical violence or any action intended to cause hurt, violence shuts down a woman’s heart. She may endure you but she will not give you her affections. Her heart is then free to be stolen by others who treat her more equally. She may not have the courage to walk out of the relationship but she won’t blink at the opportunity to receive emotional nourishment from another man. In her head she’s thinking, you may have my body, but you’ll never have my heart or soul. Don’t ever push your woman down that road. There’s no returning from it.
5. The sword of neglect and no romance
Women like to be romanced. They never tire of
candle lit dinners, roses, chocolates and long drives. They like walking hand in hand and looking into their partner’s eyes, hoping to see desire in them. If the relationship is reduced to mere joblists, agendas and daily routines, women start to sense a deep void. If the man is too busy with his career and ambitions, she may start hungering for a tender loving man in her life. A little attention from the wrong man can make her ache for more of it, and therein starts the flame of a romantic Mills and Boon fantasy. It always starts with harmless conversations and before you know it, her dil starts to maange more. Your woman is not yours to own, she’s yours to love and cherish. Never lose sight of that.
The above having been said, it is true that some men will chase skirts only for the thrill of it and some women will commit debauchery serially. These I believe are more the exception than the rule. Even in such cases it would be interesting to explore how these people learnt to behave in such ways, for boys become men by imitating their fathers and women by emulating their mother’s. Familial values and dysfunctions, social conditioning, patriarchy, media and misogyny, all shape the adult behaviour of children and perhaps these may incline men and women to infidelity.
We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article. Mail us at [email protected]
Relationships 53


INSIGHT
Understanding
your
other half
Navni Chawla explores how a man and a woman in a relationship can understand each other better by knowing each other’s language, inner world, and psyche.
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When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences, then love has a chance to blossom.
—John Gray, Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus
I t is a non-arguable fact that men and women have brains that are wired differently. Blame it on biology!
Scientific studies reveal that there are brain differences in men and women, which translate into behavioural differences. Men and women might have different emotional, psychological, and physical responses to the same situation owing to their different brain structures, physiology, hormone-receptor interactions, genetic variables, and neural circuits. These are mostly sex-based differences. However, masculine and feminine traits are also very individualistic in nature and are influenced by many other factors such as social environment and constructs, gender distribution, patriarchal mindset, and the prevalent culture.
Broadly, men and women have stark differences in the way they think, feel, respond, personalise experiences, and perceive stimulations like stress and pleasure, which are discrete for both. Hence it is natural for disagreements, conflicts, and disputes to arise in a relationship. This creates a need for both men and women to really understand each other for the relationship to succeed. Now, how does one do that?
Taking one step at a time
Understanding the opposite sex takes a lot of self-work, inquiry, thoughtfulness, listening to one another, patience, awareness, watching one’s ego, and the actual application of skills that resolve interpersonal issues. Jyoti Chawla, an entrepreneur, a wife, and a mother, who
has been married for 30 years, shares, “It is important to listen to your partner consciously because things often start going downhill when there is a communication problem between two people. If you listen intently to your partner, it is so easy to see the subtext of what they are trying to say or not say, their needs said or unsaid, their underlying issues, habits, and patterns. A lot of stuff becomes clearer, and then, through a healthy conversation, the things that need attention can be addressed. This is the first step towards healing your partner and the relationship.”
Our innate need as human beings to connect, belong, share, love, and be loved makes us sign bonds and form relationships and partnerships. The essence however remains pure and selfless love. Needs play an important part too in a relationship. To understand the opposite sex, one must be well-versed with their own needs, desires, and interests, and also those of their partner. Then, expressing those needs to one another is equally important and the next step in understanding each other. Radha Khandelwal, a relationship expert, says, “Aggression arises from unfulfilled needs, especially when they go unexpressed between partners. Suppression only leads to volcanic eruptions over trivial matters due to bottled- up volatile emotions and bitterness.”
How men and women think
An analogy that could be used to explain how men think is that of a computer desktop with one window open at one time. Men work
Insight 55


on one thought at one time. When it’s done, they close it and move on to working on the next thought. With women, their thoughts are like ten windows open simultaneously. Most women don’t have the ability that men have to just close out thoughts or feelings that are bothering them. “Stop thinking about it, don’t let it bother you” might be really good advice to give to men, but it just doesn’t work for women at all. It’s difficult for most women, if not all, to just shut the bugging thoughts and make them go away. Instead, women have to take some action to make them go away. So, if a man helps his partner close the windows hovering over her mind by sensitively telling her “Do you have an open window? Let’s do something to resolve it,” it comforts a woman and makes her feel supported and understood in that relationship. That earns a man huge brownie points and makes his partner feel loved. Similarly, if a woman gives a man space while he is processing something in his head privately, he might appreciate it more than having constant conversations about it. Women can often be more far-sighted and see the bigger picture, while men can have a tunnel-vision thought process.
Scientifically, a woman’s brain size is 14 per cent smaller than a man’s, but women have shown that they use their brain more efficiently than men do! Men tend to rely on the grey matter of their brain more, which comprises processing control centres in the brain, while women use the white matter more, which serves as a means of communication between various grey matter units. The functional differences of both grey and white brain matter make men more proficient in spatial and visual skills, and women, in verbal and other sensory skills related to sight, smell, taste, sensitivity, and colours.
Another notable difference between a man’s and a woman’s thinking ability is similar to the one mentioned earlier: men are more focussed on the task at hand, whereas women ace multitasking like pros. It’s a common phenomenon where we see women juggling multiple jobs at the same time, whether it’s managing a home and family, or her profession. It’s true because, while a man uses one part of his brain (a hemisphere) to tackle one task at a time, a woman can use various parts of her brain (both hemispheres). Therefore, she is able to attend to many tasks simultaneously.
How men and women respond to a problem
Women’s emotional component, i.e., the ability to link thoughts and situations with emotions and feelings is way more than a man’s. In times of crisis, while a man would mostly whirl his logical wheels to fix the problem, a woman would take her own sweet time to emotionally process the issue before she steps up to act. It is necessary for a woman to be in tune with her emotional self, while a man might just shut down his feelings and prefer to keep it all in.
Another difference in their response to a conflict or a challenge is that women like to talk about it in order to resolve the issues at hand, but men often evade having heavy and confrontational conversations. For women, having elaborate and deep conversations on all things is more meaningful. For men, sleeping on a conflict is a more effective way to solve it.
How men and women differ in their physical needs
Physical intimacy can mean different things to men and women. Men are very visual and are easily aroused by simply seeing a sexually explicit image, whereas, for women, it takes a combination of things like text, mood, environment, feelings, smell, and touch, to get
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Couples should keep the spark alive in marriage by making each other feel desirable
them aroused. For a woman to be physically intimate with a man, she needs to trust him and have a strong emotional connection with him. Although in the urban milieu things might be changing, a deeper need for emotional connection cannot be ruled out in women.
For most men, sex is an end in itself. It is easier for a man to go for casual sex than a woman. A man seeks more variety in sexual experience than a woman, who is more focussed on finding a committed partner for herself. However, the advent of dating apps seems to have changed the scenario, and more women can be seen hooking up guilt-free in non-committal relationships. Yet for a woman, sex goes beyond being a physical need as it metamorphoses into her soft vulnerability, which she shares only with someone she has emotionally bonded with and can deeply trust. However, both men and women have a deep need to feel desired by their partners. It is important for both to keep the sparks alive by
letting each other know how excited they feel in each other’s company.
How men and women view parenthood
Naturally, women have strong motherly and nurturing instincts. They are the caregivers in a household and are more empathetic towards all living beings. Women are seen to have more patience and higher pain thresholds and tolerance levels (period cramp pains and child labour pains), right from the beginning, which prepares them well to be competent mothers. Men love playing with their kids as long as they don’t start weeping or pooping in their diapers. Upon the first cry, they will happily hand over the baby to the mother.
Women are blessed with more sensitivity than men; hence, babies too feel more secure in a mother’s embrace. Men usually are more concerned about taking care of the expenses that come with having a baby and providing well, conventionally. Being different in their
Insight 57


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A happy family requires both the mother and the father to play their roles well
own ways, co-parenting can be beneficial for the child. For example, fathers like to play with their children and challenge them, thereby shaping their inner confidence, while mothers pay attention to details like instilling good values and building moral character. Together, by complementing each other’s skills, both parents can enrich the child’s personality, thereby shaping its destiny.
How men and women view the world
The worldviews of both men and women differ from each other because society has defined gender roles since age-old times. While men are expected to be dominating, competitive, ambitious, breadwinners, and leaders, women are mostly expected to be soft, supportive, sacrificing, selfless, and even submissive. Hence, we see that there is a greater need inmen to prove their masculinity and dominance in the world by chasing money and power. And women feel compelled to act in ways that make them fit into societal structures and gain the
approval of others. However, it is safe to say that both the worldviews and the gender roles are evolving. Today, we have women leaders in different areas, and men are being prompted to learn housework too. Yet research reveals that women have a more holistic view of life than men. They have an innate quality of taking along others and promoting collective growth, unlike men who generally focus on their own exponential growth rather than that of others. To quote the late H. H. Swami Veda Bharati, “The already feminine have nothing more to learn; the flower need not seek the status of a stone.” And, “The feminine is considered a more complete whole than the masculine.” For this reason, women are more spiritually attuned than men.
How men and women view money
The attitude towards money and spending habits differ in men and women. Studies show that women are more price-conscious shoppers than men. They have an inner calling to save


money for any future needs or investments. They are always on the lookout for sales and discount coupons, whereas men might care less about such things. In fact, sales were mostly created keeping women in mind, to attract hordes of them to markets, malls, and shopping centres.
In terms of financial goals, debt-repayment is the topmost priority for women, whereas planning a vacation followed by paying credit card debts are men’s financial priorities. However, men tend to take more interest in investments than women do. Men are more likely than women to be investors. When it comes to putting money in the stock market, men tend to have more confidence in their knowledge than women do. But men can rely on women’s instincts to forecast potential sources of income in the future, studies say. There is a saying that goes, “Women shop, but men buy,” which hints towards the fact that for women, while shopping is more of a recreational activity (sometimes even therapy), for men, it largely implies making a purchase and getting out.
How men and women forge friendships
Although male friendships may not be as intimate as female friendships, they are considered to be less fragile than the latter. While men bond over shared activities like playing, watching sports, or hopping clubs, women crave emotional bonding in friendship. For men, friendships are mostly casual, whereas for women they are quite personal and valuable. In friendships, while women tend to share their deepest secrets, feelings, and closest emotions with one another, men tend to gloss
over it. In fact, a man would prefer sharing his innermost feelings with his female friend, wife, or girlfriend. Men are better at maintaining friendships longer than women, as they do not break them off easily over arguments or fights. Also, men still consider their friends close even after not staying in constant touch, whereas women are quick to assume that the friendship is over when the contact is lost.
Yin and yang
Opposites are often complementary. Feminine and masculine energies fill each other’s missing jigsaw puzzle pieces. And therefore, one completes the other in so many ways. When they both operate from a place which is grounded, loving, understanding, and respectful of each other’s individuality, perfect relationships have a chance to flower.
It is said that relationships work on the give and take formula. But when the focus is more on giving by both, the man and the woman involved, then the sheer nature of the relationship changes. Sometimes, even without saying much or asking for something, partners sense what the other might be wanting. That is a heavenly state to reach in a relationship.
The most important thing that a man wishes his partner knew is how much he loves her. And once he learns to put that across well through his words and actions, it already solves so many things in a partnership. Vice-versa, for a woman learning to receive that love and also giving it back to him in ways he would understand it better, makes that relationship a win-win for both.
We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article. Mail us at [email protected]
Insight 59


SHARING
To do or not to do?
Niranjan Gidwani explores the inevitability of contradictions in our life and the ways in which we can tackle them
recommends unwarranted surgeries to meet the return on investment targets of the hospital owners.
How to deal with contradictions?
So what is the right way and what is the wrong way of dealing with issues such as these? In every such case, at the end of the day, it is for the individual to do his or her own ‘sense-making.’ A systemic answer is not always possible. Faced with a contradiction, most of us usually look for the truth instead of dealing with the contradiction itself. The absolute truth is always much more comfortable. The difficult but inevitable thing in life is that the truth always reveals itself in contradictions. The packaging never gets any better.
The newer generation is finding this very difficult to deal with. “One day you tell me to do this, another day you tell me to do the opposite.” Should we then become either apathetic and cynical or
ife is full of contradictions. As we grow up, we begin to get exposed to the many contradictions of our professional and
Lpersonal lives. Examples abound all around us. A schoolteacher is expected to teach values in the classroom, but the system wants them to give preference for admission to a less-deserving child because that child’s parents offer a large donation. A manager is expected to be people-oriented, but he must ask a good teammate to leave because business has slowed down. A journalist writes exposes on many social issues, but he can see skeletons in his own organisation. A young executive is faced with the issue of working on a project for which the client is an alcohol company. By building a more efficient AI-based information and delivery system for the client, would he not be increasing the possibility of more people getting addicted to drinking? Likewise, the head of a tobacco distribution company wants to speed up his packaging and delivery processes. Or a doctor
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become subservient to the system and blindly follow what it asks of us in every given situation?
A lot depends on two things: One, do we hold ourselves responsible for thinking and making sense of issues, contexts, and the outcome possibilities? Two, how much do we see ourselves as the system? When we are the system, do we also think of improving the system, or do we just think along with the system? Or, should we not think at all? In most cases, people find issues to be problematic because they would rather have the comfort of someone else running the department of truth and publish policies on the internet that are clear, unambiguous, and without multiple possible outcomes.
The Gita’s perspective
The Bhagavad-Gita provides an interesting perspective on both: the pervasive nature of contradictions and the central need for the individual to think and make sense for himself. The former is best illustrated in the conflict Arjuna faced when he was at war with his own kith and kin. When the purpose of life is to do good, how can one justify waging war against one’s own people? The message lies here. Our tasks in professional life are not about the easy stuff; conflicts are a part of every profession, and we are supposed to deal with them. They are not an aberration; they are the reality.
Now comes the second part. Who must guide us in moments of indecision? The concept of the dialogue between Krishna and Arjuna is symbolic. Essentially, everyone is part Krishna and part Arjuna. The Krishna in us is the voice of reason.
Niranjan Gidwani
The Arjuna in us is about the responsibility to act. Without one, the other is incomplete. Action without reason and reason without action are both inherently destructive. So, every time, it is not for a higher power in the department of truth to tell us what the truth is. We must take the responsibility to think for ourselves and about the consequences of our actions.
Life is full of contradictions
Some time back, a very senior leader came with the anguish of dealing with a contradiction. He was then given a simple exercise. Something was written on the board, and he was asked to clean it up. When he had finished, he was asked a simple question. “What did you do?” He replied innocently, “I cleaned up the board.” Pointing to the dirty duster in his hand, he was asked, “Did you clean something, or did you dirty something?” The interesting truth is, when you clean the blackboard, it is just a transfer of the mess to another surface. In reality, it is impossible to clean anything in the world without making something else dirty in the process.
The higher we move in our professional lives, the greater the need to deal with such contradictions. One must make peace with the idea itself, the inherent process, and the multiplicity of potential outcomes in every situation. Because that is what life wants from us.
Contradictions aren’t always a test to conquer. Sometimes they come as struggles to be endured. In the final analysis, the best way to stay true to our values is to stay open to rethinking our views.
Consultant Director | Member UAE Superbrands Council Charter member tie Dubai
We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article. Mail us at [email protected]
Sharing 61


MUDRAS
Gentlemen, take heart
Abhay Kumar Shah guides men on how to handle prostate enlargement, a pesky problem commonly found in old age
Naag Mudra Shakti Mudra
I n earlier issues we studied the most common trouble in womanhood, UTI.
In this article we will take a look at the most
common problem of the aged males, Enlargement of Prostate Gland.
The prostate is a walnut-shaped gland that is part of the male reproductive system. The main function of the prostate is to make a fluid that goes into semen. The gland surrounds the urethra at the neck of the bladder.
As the prostate enlarges, the gland presses against and pinches the urethra. The bladder wall becomes thicker. Eventually, the bladder may weaken and lose the ability to empty completely, leaving some urine in the bladder. The narrowing of the urethra and urinary retention—the inability to empty the bladder completely—cause many of the problems causing the following symptoms.
• urinary frequency—urination eight or more times a day.
• urinary urgency—the inability to delay urination.
• trouble starting a urine stream.
Surabhi Mudra Garud Mudra
• a weak or an interrupted urine stream dribbling at the end of urination.
• nocturia—frequent urination during periods of sleep.
• urinary retention.
•urinary incontinence—the accidental loss of
urine.
• pain after ejaculation or during urination • urine that has an unusual color or smell.
In modern medical science, available treatment ranges from the medication to the surgery in which enlarged tissues of the Prostate gland are cut to widen the urethra.
Many of my clients have benefited with the Mudra Therapy for enlarged prostate gland.
The combination includes Mudra as follows.
Naag Mudra -
Formation - on one palm, place the back of second palm in perpendicular position. Place the thumb of the first palm on the second palm, place the thumb of the second palm on the first thumb in perpendicular position.
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Put the gesture in the middle of the thighs. Period - 16 minutes, twice or thrice a day.
Surabhi Mudra -
Formation - Touch your one ring finger to the other hand’s little finger and vice versa.
Touch your middle finger with other hand’s index finger and vice versa.
Keep both thumbs apart
Turn the tips down toward the floor. Rest the back of the palms on the respective thigh.
Period - 16 minutes, twice or thrice a day.
Garud Mudra -
This is a Chala Mudra, that means one has to perform some actions while doing this Mudra. So let’s learn how to do Garud Mudra.
Step 1. Interlock thumbs of both the hands, cover them with both the palms and form Namaskar Mudra with interlocked thumbs. Put the gesture between the thighs, tips facing forward.
Take 10 deep breaths.
Step 2 - put the same gesture in the same direction on the bellybutton and take a spell of another 10 breaths.
Step 3 - put it on the sternum, in the middle of the chest. Take another spell of 10 breaths.
Step 4 - place both the hands, wrists one upon another, in perpendicular position, palms apart and6facing towards our chest. Now interlock the thumbs. Keep fingers of both the hands open. This gesture looks alike an eagle with spread wings.
Move the fingers continuously, take 10 deep breaths.
That’s it!
Now start next spell right from step 1 and go up to step 4.
Repeat step 1 to 4 for 16 minutes. Twice a day.
Caution - people with high blood pressure must observe their blood pressure during the course.
Shakti Mudra -
Formation - place the thumb on its palm. Cover the length of the thumb with rap of index and middle finger. Do the same for the other hand. Now touch the tips of the ring and the little finger to the tips of the same fingers of the other hand. Touch the wrists.
Period - 16 minutes. Twice or thrice a day. This combination works wonderfully.
Hope all the reader friends will find this article helpful.
One very humble request from me to all my readers, please give your feedback and comments on this column. You also can demand for Mudra solutions on a particular topic which is yet unaddressed here. I will be more than happy to serve and help you all with best of my knowledge, experience and efforts.
Thank you so much. -Abhaykumar Shah
Abhay Kumar Shah is a mechanical engineer, who has learnt Mudra Shastra from experts and established his own method of using this science correctly, and in the modern context. He can be reached at: [email protected]
We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article. Mail us at [email protected]
Mudras 63


BANYAN TREE
TEACHING STORY
A LESSON IN COMPASSION
Once, there was a renowned monk who lived in a beautiful monastery with his pupils. His teachings were known to be very effective, and many of his students grew up to become great masters themselves.
One day, one of them was caught stealing from his fellow students, and they reported him to the monk. But he took no action against the boy. A few days later, the same boy was caught stealing again. This time too, the head monk did nothing to punish him. This angered the other students, who drew up a petition asking for the dismissal of the thief. They threatened to leave en masse if the boy was allowed to stay in the monastery.
The teacher called a meeting of the students. When they had assembled, he said to them: “You are good boys who know what is right and what is wrong. If you leave, you will have no trouble joining some other school. But what about your brother who does not even know the difference between right and wrong? Who will teach him if I don’t? No, I cannot ask him to go even if it means losing all of you.”
Tears coursed down the cheeks of the boy who had stolen. He never stole again, and later in life, became renowned for his integrity.
QUOTE
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
—Anais Nin
INSPIRATION
A TO ZEN OF LIFE
Avoid negative sources, people, places, things, and habits.
Believe in yourself and succeed.
Consider things from every angle.
Don’t give up and don’t give in.
Enjoy life today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.
Family and friends are hidden treasures. Seek them and enjoy their riches.
Give more than you planned to.
Hang on to your dreams.
If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
Just do it.
Keep trying no matter how hard it seems.
Love yourself.
Make it happen.
Never lie, steal, or cheat. Always strike a fair deal. Open your eyes and see things as they really are. Practice makes perfect.
Quality, not quantity in anything you do. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Stop procrastinating.
Take control of your own destiny.
Understand yourself in order to better understand others.
Visualise it and focus.
When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
Xcellence in all your efforts.
You are unique; nothing can replace you.
Zero in on your target, and go for it.
—Dalai Lama
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LifePositive | MAY 2022


THIS, I KNOW
APJ KALAM
• Look at the sky. We are not alone. The whole universe is friendly to us and conspires only to give the best to those who want to dream and work.
• Luxury and lies have a huge maintenance cost. But truth and simplicity are self-maintained.
• Never complain about the difficulties in life because a director (God) always gives the hardest roles
to his best actors.
• Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence, and face your future without
fear.
• Life and time are the world’s best teachers. Life teaches us to make the best use of time, and time
teaches us the value of life.
• Two rules for a peaceful life are that depression in failure should never go to the heart and ego on
success should never go to the brain.
• Nations consist of people. And with their effort, a nation can accomplish all it could ever want.
ONE-MINUTE WISDOM
THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING IS IN THE EATING
Before the visitor embarked upon discipleship, he wanted assurance from the master. “Can you teach me the goal of human life?” he asked.
“I cannot,” replied the master.
“Or at least its meaning?”
“I cannot.”
“Can you indicate to me the nature of death and life beyond the grave?”
“I cannot.”
The visitor walked away in scorn. The disciples were dismayed that their master had been shown in a bad light. The master calmly explained, “Of what use is it to comprehend life’s nature and life’s meaning if you have never tasted it? I’d rather you ate your pudding than speculated on it.” -Anthony D Mello
JUST FOR LAUGHS
LESS IS MORE
A young man squandered all his inherited wealth. As generally happens in such cases, the moment he was penniless, he found that he was friendless too. At his
wit’s end, he sought out a master, to whom he presented his problem: “What is to become of me? I have no money and no friends.” “Don’t worry, son. All
will be well with you again, mark my words.” Hope shone in the young man’s eyes. “Will I be rich again?” “No. You will get used to being penniless and
lonely.”
Banyan Tree
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Jyoti Marianne Bahri
Jyoti Marianne Bahri is a teacher, a survivor, and an explorer of the inner world. After a life-threatening accident, writing had become an essential healing tool as well as her gift to the world.
Jamuna Rangachari
Former assistant editor of Life Positive, Jamuna Rangachari has authored two books for children, and compiled and interpreted Teaching Stories-I and II for Life Positive.
Dr. Vanitha Vaidialingam
Dr. Vanitha Vaidialingam is a retired Commissioner of Income tax, management consultant, published author, and a devoted yoga practitioner.
Naini Setalvad
Naini Setalvad is a nutritionist, specialising in lifestyle and immunity disorders. Her foundation, Health For You, throws light on healthy food habits.
Suzy Singh
Suzy Singh is a transpersonal therapist, karma coach and energy healer with extensive clinical experience in multidisciplinary approaches to vibrational and spiritual healing. Her practice is based out of Delhi. Visit: suzyheals.com
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