Readers_Digest_UK

(Above) Martina Bumbello plays the barrel organ during a performance at the Antonio
Pasqualino Museum; (Opposite) Three of the museum’s thousands of marionettes

PHotos by roselenA rAmistellA X2 Heike. But, says Jo Ann Cavallo, the elaborate puppets for his shows
chair of the Italian Department as well as for other puppeteers. Some
at Columbia University in New of his marionettes can be found in
York, “only Sicilian Opera dei Pupi the museum’s extensive collection—
stages epic stories with intricately with thousands of Opera dei Pupi
structured and painted wooden puppets, it’s the largest of its kind in
puppets, in elaborate metal armour, the world.
and with swords and shields
made to withstand heavy fighting.” In addition to the Sicilian
Cavallo has studied Opera dei marionettes, the museum houses
Pupi extensively in her research on rare water puppets from Vietnam
Renaissance literature and how it is and enormous, human-sized
dramatised in Italy. puppets designed for a show written
by Italian fairy tale author, Italo
Sicilian puppet theatres are often Calvino. Too large to be operated
family-run. Salvatore Bumbello using strings, the puppets had to be
learned the art from his late father, strapped to the backs of puppeteers.
beginning when he was Martina’s They were retired after a single
age. Today, he designs and creates performance and now occupy an
entire room in the museum, serving,

JANUARY 2023 • 99

Luciano and Francesco Bumbello help their father during a performance

perhaps, as a warning of the risks status, recognised by UNESCO’s PHoto by roselenA rAmistellA
of abandoning deeply established Intangible Cultural Heritage
conventions—something Palermo’s of Humanity list, as the only
puppeteers have long avoided. uninterrupted puppetry tradition of
its kind.
“We have not changed anything,”
Bumbello says when asked to “The pandemic devastated the
compare his productions with world of puppetry,” he says. “We
those of his father. Even the special could not act out our stories and
effects he uses—such as pull-apart consequently could not have an
puppets that can be dismembered audience.” Rather than shut down
or beheaded, including the doomed completely, the museum took to
dragon in his current production— the internet, allowing viewers to
have existed for centuries. livestream performances until in-
person shows returned in October
Since the start of the pandemic, 2021. Streaming shows helped to
however, change has been keep the tradition going—but for
unavoidable for Palermo’s some of Palermo’s puppeteers, the
puppeteers. The theatres closed evolution of their art form has been
temporarily in March 2020, which ongoing for years. Third-generation
Bumbello says jeopardised their

100 • JANUARY 2023

READER’S DIGEST

puparo Vincenzo Argento, who runs storylines still performed today
Teatro Famiglia Argento with his son include the Christian knights killing
Nicolò, started experimenting with villainous Saracens and end with
new approaches to Opera dei Pupi to puppet corpses piled on the stage,
keep his business alive long before reflecting centuries-old hostilities
the pandemic hit. toward Muslim conquerors.
However, Cavallo says, such scenes
Hunched over a desk in his are gradually evolving.
workshop, Argento chisels fragments
of metal that will form the helmet of “Today, we can find plays that
a puppet destined for sale in his shop actively question confrontations
beside feathered, puppet-shaped based on provenance or religion
wine corks and other items intended and instead seek to promote
to appeal to tourists. Setting aside understanding across borders,
traditional stories, he and Nicolò encouraging compassion for those
have written original scripts and who suffer regardless of their origin,”
added more daring special effects she says.
to their shows. “[Other puppeteers]
don’t always accept these changes,” Expanding to online performances
Argento says, his eyes intent on his has also allowed Sicilian puppeteers
handiwork. “When we began, it was to try out new, more modern stories
much simpler.” and to stage plays that haven’t been
performed in decades. The Antonio
Today’s Opera dei Pupi shows often Pasqualino Museum has taken this
depict knights fighting their way new digital direction even further by
through one battle after another and incorporating augmented reality into
emerging victorious before the curtain its puppetry, creating an interactive
falls. As local audiences shrank in the component for virtual visitors.
second half of the 20th century and
were replaced by tourists without Back at the museum, Martina
knowledge of the Italian language or cranks the barrel organ as the show
the stories that the productions were comes to an end. Before the curtain
based on, the shows became more closes, three final characters make
action-heavy and disconnected from an appearance. Bumbello, Luciano
their literary inspiration. and Francesco crouch down, visible
at last in front of the wooden set, and
Some see the challenges created wave at their audience.
by the pandemic as an opportunity
for Opera dei Pupi puppeteers to “The art was handed down to
experiment with technology and me, and I will hand it down to my
update traditional themes. Several children, as they will do with theirs,”
says Salvatore Bumbello. “This way,
tradition will not be lost.” n

JANUARY 2023 • 101

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE

102

There’s more than punch and sandy
beaches to this idyllic Caribbean island,

discovers Anna Walker

Drunk On Life
In Antigua

DRUNK ON LIFE IN ANTIGUA

I take a moment to slow my breath, quickened from a hike
in the fierce Caribbean sun, as I crouch down, hushed with
my companions. We’re gathered around an unassuming
cavity in the ground, many of us cameras out, paparazzi-style,
hoping to catch a glimpse of an unlikely holiday photo star—
the tarantula.

The bravest of our group, Kathy, is stunning scenery of the Pillars of
gently probing this unwitting spider’s Hercules Hiking Adventure, provided
home with a long piece of grass. The by local tour company Island Routes
plant’s feathery tips, our guide assures (islandroutes.com). Starting from 118
us, imitate a spider’s legs. Kathy’s USD per person, our guides are fun,
engaged in a tug of war, not entirely but know when to push their amateur
sure whether she wants to win the hikers, encouraging us to reach that
struggle that will bring this slumber- photo-perfect ledge, scale this rock,
disturbed creature to the surface. taste that neon-pink cactus fruit.

Perhaps this isn’t the scene you It’s one of countless tours and
imagine when you think of a trip to excursions available from the resort.
the Sandals Grande Antigua resort. Another day we take a hair-whipping,
A couple’s paradise, certainly. Long seafoam-scrambling speed boat
colourful cocktails sipped on longer out to kayak around mangroves
white sand beaches. Endless days with Antiguan Adventure Tours
stretched out in front of the waves. (antiguanaturetours.com). We marvel
Lingering warm nights enjoying food at the site of a deep-sea cucumber,
in one of the 11 restaurants. But if thick as an aubergine and slimy as
there’s one thing the resort provides a toad. Beneath us, giant stingrays
in abundance in my week-long stay, dance ethereally. Another tour
it’s surprises. offers the chance to swim alongside
them, and from the beaming faces of
The hike in question is perhaps returning guests, there’s no doubt this
the biggest surprise of all. We soon outing is a winner.
discover that “beginner” means
something quite different in Antigua With our kayaking tour complete,
to back home in the UK as we our charismatic driver welcomes us
scramble over rocks, hop foot around back on the speedboat, bumping
spiky cacti and duck under lush, so hard over waves it almost feels
low-hanging branches to take in the like we’re white-water rafting out
to the idyllic Great Bird Island. This

104 • JANUARY 2023

OCTOBER 2022 • 105

DRUNK ON LIFE IN ANTIGUA

20-acre islet is visited by some 20,000 bumps of the return journey feel
tourists every year and is the picture- more like a funfair than the white-
perfect “desert island” experience. knuckle ride we encountered earlier.
It’s carefully guarded by a mysterious
“island warden” who charges for STEEL DRUMS,
tourists daring enough to perch on the REGGAE CLASSICS AND
pretty blue picnic tables, or who wish SUMPTUOUS COOKING
to fully explore this almost-untouched
paradise. It’s surely worth the toll, ARE THE ORDER OF
alive with colourful lizards, lush THE EVENING
greenery and surrounding coral reefs.
Later, we set off to take in the
Famished from our excursions, other side of Sandals. We’re visiting
it’s a welcome sight to see our GARD, a centre funded by the
guides filling cups from large plastic Sandals Foundation providing
containers of coral-red rum punch, vocational training and business
and it’s not long before our group is advice to vulnerable young people.
tipsy on the strong stuff. Deliciously Endeavours supported by the
sweet and spiced, it makes the Foundation aim to preserve the
environment and build stronger
and healthier communities and
better education opportunities on
the island. We meet the centre’s
beekeeper Jamal, an endless
fountain of knowledge on all things
bees, chatting as his busy hives buzz
industriously behind us.

Jamal’s introduction to bees came
as a teenager when a hive took over
his bedroom. So interested was
he in his new roommates, that the
beekeeper who had come to remove
them offered him an apprenticeship.
Enjoying small talk as he plies us with
fresh Antiguan honey straight from

READER’S DIGEST

Shirley Heights is famous for its weekly parties

the honeycomb, we’re amazed to one of the most beautiful vistas on
learn that he’s also a medical student the island, we arrive early to this
and a mechanic. A volunteer we met former military lookout to take in the
growing crops was also a midwife panorama before darkness descends,
and a nurse. Communities here are bringing with it an unparalleled
as industrious as Jamal’s beehives, nightlife atmosphere.
and the impact of COVID has only
deepened the sense of commitment Billed as the “biggest and best
to protecting the wellbeing of the party” in Antigua and Barbuda,
90,000 that call Antigua home. steel drums, reggae classics and
sumptuous Caribbean cooking are
Another point of Antiguan the order of the evening. I opt for
community pride is the island’s traditional jerk chicken and potato
world-famous nightlife, and a visit salad and tuck in, grateful that we
wouldn’t be complete without arrived early enough to nab one of
an evening at Shirley Heights the prime tables by the dance floor—
(shirleyheightslookout.com). this is people watching heaven.
Offering spectacular views over
Bats swoop low over the evening’s
proceedings, lit belly-up by countless

JANUARY 2023 • 107

DRUNK ON LIFE IN ANTIGUA

fairy lights, as the band slides coolly Later, an elderly local man takes to
into a cover of Shaggy’s “Angel”. the floor to school the congregation
Children are sold colourful maracas, in real island moves. His slinking
which they shake chaotically to the hips and broad smile don’t let up
music. Women light their beautiful until the music stops, despite being
jewellery stalls with the torch of old enough to earn a prime seat on
their phones, shells glinting in the the bus.
artificial glow. Across from us a
fellow Brit clutches tightly to a straw Nightlife back at the resort is
basket, clearly purchased moments equally pleasurable. From hearty
before the music began, as he flings Italian food (the chocolate lava
his arms about and wiggles his hips cake must be tried to be believed)
intently. His joy is contagious—what at Mario’s, to authentic Caribbean
better place to let go
of your troubles and cuisine at Eleanor’s
dance like nobody’s (an unrivalled spot for
watching? Even if breakfast) and beach-
several people are… lethargy-inducing
burgers at Barefoot
(where you can sink
your toes into the white
sand of Dickinson Bay
as you eat) there are
endless opportunities
to feast.
I hadn’t realised until the moment
I stepped onto the resort, with its
blue ocean and the impeccable
white sands of Dickenson Bay,
how much I needed to disconnect.
Antigua had much to teach me,
reconnecting me to a world beyond
screens and emails. I had spent the
first 20 minutes of my trip on the
phone to housekeeping, confused
by the loud alarms sounding outside
my room. I soon realised, red faced,
that the relentless noise wasn’t a
cacophony of sirens at all, but the
vast chorus of thousands of birds

and bugs, sounding their song for READER’S DIGEST
the evening.
TRAVEL TIPS
At home, leaving for dinner
might mean walking down the A seven-night stay for two people at
street texting, my mind buzzing Sandals Grande Antigua Resort &
with upcoming projects, unfinished Spa staying in a Caribbean Deluxe
chores. Here, as I ventured through Room costs from £2,059 per person.
Sandals’ carefully manicured lawns, Price includes Luxury Included® (all-
countless tiny lizards scurried to inclusive) accommodation, return
clear my path and duck into the economy class flights with British
undergrowth, each seemingly a more Airways from London Gatwick
beautiful pattern than the last. Airport and resort transfers. Price is
date-specific and valid for travel on
The hotel’s adorable cats (cared September 17, 2023. Prices are
correct as of September 30, 2022.
I HADN’T REALISED All pricing is subject to availability
UNTIL THE MOMENT and change.
I STEPPED ONTO THE To book through Sandals Resorts’ UK
RESORT, HOW MUCH I tour operator, Unique Caribbean
NEEDED TO DISCONNECT Holidays Ltd (UCHL), visit sandals.
co.uk or call 0800 597 0002. Head to
for in miniature “cat cafes” that visitantiguabarbuda.com for more
provide them with hearty leftover information about the island.
meals from the many restaurants)
shadowed my walk home each night, JANUARY 2023 • 109
escorting me to my door like a fluffy
security detail. Here, a bird more
remarkable than any I’d seen before.
There, an ornate snail the size of my
fist. Frequently a cocktail would pass
that I’d eye with envy and order
from one of the resort’s seven bars.
Sandals Antigua demanded my
complete presence. And yet it left
me more relaxed than I’ve been
in years. n

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POWERED BY

My Great Escape:

Unforgettable
Uzbekistan

Our reader Trevor Johnson Registan Square

takes a memorable trip Located in and around several
large domes, the bazaar provided
to Uzbekistan an exciting start to my holiday, the
colourful national dress of the local
W hy did I choose women further enlivening the scene.
Uzbekistan for my The stallholders offered a vast range
first post-pandemic of goods, including meat, fruit,
holiday abroad? vegetables and car parts for locals
Perhaps, in my and souvenirs, such as ceramics and
mind, I had romantic images of the textiles, for tourists. Haggling was
ancient Silk Road and the great cities
along its route, especially Samarkand.
Maybe I even entertained forlorn
hopes of bumping into Joanna
Lumley. Probably, I simply wanted
to see a part of the world that was
completely unknown to me. I was not
to be disappointed.

On my first day in the capital,
Tashkent, my wallet bulging with som,
I headed for the nearest metro station.
With the help of a student keen to
practise her English, I reached the
Chorsu Bazaar, and was impressed
during my journey to see Uzbek
youngsters cheerfully give up their
seats to elderly passengers.

112 • JANUARY 2023

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE

minarets and madrassas—but, for me,
the most impressive was probably
the world-famous Registan Square
in Samarkand. With magnificent
madrassas on three sides, it is
spectacular by day and magical when
illuminated by night.

Each journey was varied and
interesting; arid desert contrasted
with fertile areas where crops, notably
cotton, thrived. The weather, however,
(it was the first half of October) didn’t
vary; it was sunny and warm every
day and chilly at night.

For all but vegetarians, the food
was another highlight of the holiday.
Tapioca pudding at breakfast came
as a surprise but the home-produced
fresh fruit and vegetables were
delicious. The national dish, plov
(you might know it as “pilaf”), which
is rice-based, is often eaten with flat
bread and followed by green tea.

Ten days in Uzbekistan passed too
quickly but I will always remember
my first visit to this fascinating,
friendly country. n

expected and was invariably good- Tell us about your favourite holiday (send a
natured, but even I did not quibble photo too) and if we print it, we’ll pay £50.
at paying 5,000 som (40p) for a bottle Email [email protected]
of pomegranate juice, squeezed while
I waited. SUBSCRIBER BENEFIT:
Exclusive travel discounts
The rest of my time in Uzbekistan with Tripbeat
was a cavalcade of sights and
experiences, as I visited Khiva, See page 110 for details
Bukhara and Samarkand. Each has its
architectural masterpieces—mosques,

JANUARY 2023 • 113

POWERED BY

CHIOGGIA

Venetian Lagoon

At the southern end of the Venetian Lagoon is what appears at
first to be a miniature version of its famous city. Arranged
across five islands, Chioggia, too, is bewitchingly spliced by
beautiful canals, full of hopelessly narrow streets and rich in
crooked, colonnaded palazzos of various pastel shades.

Look more closely though, and you’ll begin noticing some
differences. There’s more salt in the air, and less English on
locals’ tongues; unlike Venice, this isn’t a place that revolves
around tourism. Fishing vessels replace gondolas.

Even so, there’s ample reason to visit. In terms of sights,
you’ve got Torre di Sant’Andrea and its blue watch face,
which dates from at least 1386 and might well be the world’s
oldest working clock tower, plus the graceful Ponte di Vigo, a
white-marble bridge on the square, which tops aperitivo bar
and shop-lined main street Corso del Popolo, where there are
often market stalls.

The adjoined town of Sottomarina, across a causeway, throws
in a six-mile sandy beach whose iodine-rich air is said to be good
for thyroids. Further south are more beaches plus empty
riversides lovely for cycling—which, unlike Venice, one can do in
Chioggia—between radicchio fields.

The 90-minute journey to La Serenissima is long-winded but
doable for day-trippers. A ferry sails across the lagoon to rake-
thin Pellestrina. You then board a bus which motors to this
pretty island, joins a car ferry and then skips along Lido island,
past beach huts and stilted houses, to its main port—from
where vaporetti splash off towards Venice. n

By Richard Mellor

HIDDEN

GEMS

SUBSCRIBER BENEFIT:
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with Tripbeat

See page 110 for details

115

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116 • JANUARY 2023



MONEY

Deal With Your

DEBTS

ON THE

MONEY

SPECIAL

118

Most organisations It really is vital to fully understand
would celebrate record your situation—so get all the
numbers in January. paperwork out as a priority. It might
Sadly the opposite is be scary to acknowledge everything,
true for the UK’s debt but leaving it too long will end up
charities, who see an influx of people being even scarier.
in the new year.
Hopefully this step will help you
Usually it’s extra Christmas work out what you need to do and
spending that makes people go over you can see a way out.
the limit, but with the ongoing cost
of living crisis, demand for help has 2. Use your savings
been soaring month on month.
Don’t forget to also take a look at
It means more and more people your other accounts. If you have
have been turning to overdrafts, both debts and savings, you’re
credit cards and loans to get by—but losing money.
these aren’t sustainable solutions.
And they can quickly turn Though savings rates have
unmanageable, spiralling into improved massively, in most cases
problem debts and defaults. they will still be dwarfed by the APR
on cards and overdrafts. So you’re
But before that happens, these better off using your savings to clear
actions could help you take back those debts, or as much of them as
some control, and prevent things you can.
from getting worse.
It’s common for people to worry
1. Get the whole picture that this will remove an emergency
savings buffer. But if an emergency
Sara Williams, who runs the Debt comes along, you can borrow to cover
Camel website, says, “The starting those costs, and until it does, you can
point is to make a list of all your begin to build up more savings.
debts, what you owe, the interest rate
and the monthly payments so you 3. Focus on priority debts
have all the facts.”
Not all debts are equal. Some can
Andy Webb is a have catastrophic consequences if
personal finance not paid, so it makes sense to get
journalist and runs these cleared first. These are things
the award-winning like mortgage or rent (you could
money blog, Be be evicted), car finance (your car
Clever With Your Cash could be repossessed), gas and

JANUARY 2023 • 119

MONEY

electricity bills (you could be down faster. That’s likely to be
cut off ) and council tax pretty hard, but if there are any
(bailiffs could be sent or you
could go to jail). ways you can cut back or
switch to lower spending
Though you might not be that you haven’t
able to clear them already tried, now is
immediately, you can talk the time to do it.
to each creditor you owe At the same time it’s
about the situation to agree how worth seeing if there
you’ll do it, which can prevent those are ways for you to
bad things from happening.
earn more, whether
4. Decide which debts to through your existing employment,
tackle first an extra job or a “side hustle”, such as
selling unwanted items online.
After the priority debts are under Check if you’re able to claim any
control, you can begin to bring down benefits too.
any others, but don’t keep paying
them off equally. Instead, pay the 6. Transfer credit cards
minimum on all but one, and focus to 0%
on clearing that remaining debt with
higher repayments. If you have any credit card debts
with monthly interest charges, see if
“Some people like to pay off the you can get a 0% balance transfer
highest interest rate debts first to credit card. This allows you to move
save money. Others like to clear the the debt from one card to another,
smallest debt first so they see some except the new card won’t charge
progress quickly,” says Williams. any interest for a set period.

There’s no real right or wrong The longest ones will come with a
approach as both have advantages. transfer fee of around 3%, though
Though the first method (sometimes this will still be better than
known as the “avalanche”) cuts the continuing to pay around 20% or
total interest you pay, the second 25%. If you can manage with a
(called “snowballing”) might help shorter deal, perhaps two years at
you a bit psychologically. 0%, then you might be able to avoid
the transfer fee completely.
5. Try to find more cash
You’ll have to make the minimum
You’ll want to put as much as you repayments every month, but try to
can towards your debts so they go pay as much as you can to bring the
overall debt down. Ideally you’ll

120 • JANUARY 2023

READER’S DIGEST

want to clear it before the interest- 8. Switch your overdraft
free offer ends where possible.
Another option for overdrafts is to
Shop around via a comparison move your current account to one
site to check your eligibility across with a 0% buffer. There are only a
a number of cards. If you can’t get couple of these. Nationwide’s
0%, even consolidating on a low-rate FlexDirect account offers 0% for 12
can always help. months, while First Direct has a
small £250 buffer.
7. Money Transfer for
other debts 9. Get free help

Sadly, balance transfers only work for If trying some or all of the above isn’t
credit card debts. But there is another making enough of a difference and
option called a 0% Money Transfer you can’t afford the repayments, then
credit card. These give you a lump it’s wise to seek free and independent
sum to your current account to use as debt advice. Some of the leading
you wish, which makes them handy organisations that can help are
for catalogue debts and overdrafts Citizens Advice, National Debtline
that can often be as high as 40%. and Step Change.

These are 0% for much shorter Be very careful of similarly named
times than balance transfer cards, organisations that might appear at
and you will have to pay a 3-4% the top of your online search results,
fee, and again you’ll need to repay and avoid any that charge you for
at least the minimum to the card debt solutions. n
each month.

A Figure Of Legend

Lieutenant-General Sir Adrian Carton
de Wiart was a British Army officer who
fought in both World Wars, was shot
in the face, head, stomach, ankle, leg,
and ear, survived two plane crashes,
tunnelled out of a POW camp, and tore off
his own fingers when a doctor refused to
amputate them. He wrote of the 1914-
1918 conflict: “Frankly, I enjoyed the war”

JANUARY 2023 • 121

What could you achieve in 2023 by

releasing equity?

For more information visit:

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The past year may have triggered a lot of uncertainty
about what 2023 has in store. Gaining control of your
finances in preparation for the year ahead is important
and, at Reader’s Digest Equity Release, we are here to help

you make that decision, whatever it may be.

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There are many other ways that releasing
1. HOME IMPROVEMENTS equity could benefit you aside form the
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could free you up to make the most When you are ready, they can also
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Reader’s Digest Equity Release is a trading style of Responsible Life Limited.
Only if your case completes will Responsible Life Limited charge an advice fee, currently not exceeding £1,690.

PET CORNER

Budget Pet Care

As the cost-of-living crisis continues, it’s good to
know there are ways of budgeting for our pet’s

care as well as for ourselves

Buy in bulk owners can get free pet food.
Some of our pet food banks have
Buying food in larger quantities can volunteer drivers who can deliver to
bring big savings. Cutting out treats is pet owners who are unable to travel,
another easy way to cut costs. They and we can cater for some special
really won’t be missed and if your pet diets. We welcome donations; these
is a little overweight, they could even help keep pets with their owners.
help with weight loss.
Keep on top of your pet’s health
Avoid “premium” brands
Keeping on top of your pet’s health
Any food that is labelled as will prevent expensive problems
“complete” and is approved by the further down the line.
Food Standards Agency (FSA) will
provide your pet with all they • Keep vaccinations up to date
require in a balanced diet. Always • Ensure annual health checks
provide them with fresh water too. • For dogs, brush their teeth daily
• Keep them exercised
Use pet food banks

Blue Cross has a growing number of
pet food banks, where struggling

Blue Cross highly recommends they offer this service. Asking your
taking out a pet insurance policy vet for a prescription that you can
from the day you get your pet. If use to purchase medicines from an
your pet needs emergency online veterinary pharmacy is
veterinary care, and you don’t have another good way of keeping down
insurance, it is worth asking your costs. If treatment is ongoing, ask for
vet if they can offer a payment plan a repeatable prescription for even
to stagger the cost. more savings. The one-off cost of the
prescription is more than offset by
See what savings your vet the reduced cost of the medicines
can offer from the online pharmacy. n

Many vets run pet clubs that charge If you really can’t pay for your pet’s
a small monthly fee to cover pets for treatment, Blue Cross provides free
things like annual vaccinations, and reduced-cost vet care to pets
health checks, flea and worm whose owners are on certain means-
treatment and even discounts for tested benefits. To find out if your pet is
neutering, pet food and dental eligible for help, visit bluecross.
treatment. It’s certainly worth org.uk/veterinary
checking with your local vet to see if

READER’S DIGEST’S PET OF THE MONTH

Email your pet’s picture to Bella
[email protected]
Age: 2.5
Breed: Miniature
Yorkshire Terrier
Owner: Sandra
Fun Fact: “My daughter took
Bella for a walk as it began to
snow. Initially she really
enjoyed being out in it, but it
was quickly too deep for her
little legs!”

JANUARY 2023 • 125

HOME & GARDEN

Step Right In

Richard O’Connor explains how cleaning
your doormat will keep your home fresh

and prevent illness

M any of us take great pretty mat with a cute slogan might
pride in keeping our look great, it may not be the most
homes clean, however a effective option. When we wipe our
significant number of feet on a doormat, we’re wiping off a
people give little huge amount of dirt and debris which
thought to one essential item—the contains a number of icky
humble doormat. While it may not substances, including faeces, germs
occur to us to give these mats a little and bacteria. Mats with a textured
love, experts warn that dirty surface are better at scraping dirt and
doormats can leave our homes less mud from shoes, whereas softer
than fresh and even harbour germs carpeted mats made from cotton are
and viruses passed on from the soles better at soaking up rainwater. Mats
of our shoes. Here, we share some made from coconut fibres, known as
tips on cleaning your doormat to coir, are incredibly popular thanks to
keep your home fresh and your their rustic homely appearance and
family healthy. are also good scrapers, like a
sweeping brush for your shoes. These
What’s the best kind of should be placed either on a front
doormat? porch or directly behind the front
door to ensure that shoes can be
When it comes to choosing a wiped before entering the house. The
doormat, many people tend to go for bigger your mat, the more dirt and
style over substance but, while a water it can remove from your shoes.

126 • JANUARY 2023

How to clean a doormat...

All doormats type of doormat—particularly for
those who live in rural areas and, as
Whatever kind of doormat you have, such, tend to regularly have muddy
regular vacuuming can help to keep shoes. Unsuitable for the washing
dirt off your carpets or hardwood machine, these mats will always
floors. Get into the habit of need to be cleaned by hand. As with
vacuuming these every time you other types of mats, start by
clean your living room and other vacuuming to remove any loose dirt
areas of the house or, alternatively, and debris. Next, cover the mat
take the mat outside and beat it with a liberally with either a dry cleaning
heavy brush to remove dirt particles. product or equal parts baking
powder and cornstarch and leave for
Synthetic doormats between 30 minutes and an hour.
Finally, vacuum again to remove the
This type of mat usually has a rubber powder. Always avoid wet cleaning
backing topped with dense or plush and detergents such as washing up
fibres similar to carpet pile. Many of liquid or other household cleaners as
these mats are machine washable these can discolour your coir mat
and, if this is the case, this is the and leave unsightly marks.
most effective way of removing dirt
and bacteria. Check the bottom or Rope doormats
the side of the mat for a label which
will tell you if it’s safe for you to put Like the coir mat, these mats are
the item in the washing machine. designed for heavy-duty use rather
than for decoration. Made from thick
If your synthetic mat is not coils of rope, these mats are really
machine washable, you can wash it effective at scraping dirt from shoes.
by hand with soapy water and a The good news about rope doormats
sponge or brush. Once washed, is that they are resistant to water,
make sure that you rinse the mat well mildew and mould so, to clean your
and then dry thoroughly either on a mat, simply shake it out to remove
radiator or with a hairdryer. loose dirt and then either hose it
down outdoors or wipe it down with
Coir doormats soap and water. Leave the mat to dry
naturally overnight. n
This type of doormat is made from
the husks of coconut shells and is Learn more at FirstMats.co.uk
widely considered the most effective

JANUARY 2023 • 127

COMPETITIONS

Prize Crossword WIN!

A fantastic prize from the people at A Coffee
bridgecoffeeroasters.co.uk. An opal Machine
coffee machine and their Pod Blend
outstanding coffees from Brazil and
Colombia to achieve its distinctive
taste. Plus to make recycling easier
they’ve thrown in a coffee pod
recycler.

Complete the crossword and the
letters in the yellow squares can be
sorted to reveal a word related to
this prize or your Sunday dinner.
Write this word on the entry form.
See page 151.

COMPLETE THE CROSSWORD FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN!

5 ACROSS
8
1 Owner of the coat of many
10 colours (6)
128 • JANUARY 2023
5 Cooking instructions (7)
7 Evaluate (7)
10 Defies authority (6

DOWN

1 --- K ---, author (6)
2 “Not my error” indication after

a quotation (3)
3 Ginger (3)
4 Strengths (6)
6 They go with outs (3)
8 100 square metres (3)
9 Exploit (3)

Winter Wordwheel

We’ve teamed up with hamper and
general purveyor all things delicious
Cartwrightandbutler.co.uk to give away
two of their afternoon tea hampers worth
over £100 each.

This Selection includes: C&B Cherry & Almond Loaf
Cake, C&B Butter Fudge in Carton, C&B Strawberry
Preserve, C&B Butter Oat Crumbles, Baron de
Beaupre Champagne

WIN! P L AY T H E W I N T E R WO R DW H E E L

2x Afternoon
tea hamper

FIND WORDS OF THREE OR MORE H EL O
LETTERS, AND ALL MUST CONTAIN C A
THE CENTRAL LETTER. O

TARGET: TC
Excellent: 35 or more words.
Good: 20 words.
Fair: 15 words.

There is one word relating to a sweet
treat which uses all the letters.

Write this word on your entry form or
enter online. See page 151.

JANUARY 2023 • 129

illustration by Dom McKenzie

FOOD

HoTwoBoil

Water

© AARON-STERN There's more to T here are as many ideas about
the subtle art of how to best boil water as there are
boiling water than about how to cure hiccups. Some
people say you must use cold
meets the eye water, explaining that hot water
sits in the pipes, daring bacteria to inoculate
Tamar Adler is a it; others say to use hot, arguing that only a
contributing editor to fool wouldn’t get a head start. Debates rage
Vogue. Her writing has as to whether olive oil added to water serves
appeared in the New York any purpose (it only does if you are planning
Times Magazine, the to serve the water as soup, which you may,
New York Times but it makes sense to wait to add the oil until
Book Review, the you decide).
NewYorker.com,
Potatoes should be started in cold water,
and other as should eggs. But sometimes I find myself
publications
distractedly adding them to water that’s
already boiling, and both turn out fine.
Green and leafy vegetables should be
dropped at the last second into a bubble
as big as your fist. Pasta, similarly,

should only be added when a pot is
rollicking, and stirred once or twice.

Ecclesiastical writers on the
subject point out that in the
beginning there was water, all life

JANUARY 2023 • 131

HOW TO BOIL WATER

proceeded from water, there was or your stove, or the spoon you like
water in Eden, water when we fell, best for tasting.
then the slate got cleaned with it.
Water breaks, and out we come. Once your water reaches a boil,
salt it well. The best comparison
The point, as far as I can tell, is I can make is to pleasant seawater.
that water has been at it, oblivious The water needs to be this salty
to our observations, for longer than whether it’s going to have pasta
we know. I recommend heating up cooked in it or the most tender
a great deal of it, covered if you’re in spring peas. It must be salted until
a rush because it will boil faster that it tastes good because what you’re
way, or uncovered if you need time doing isn’t just boiling an ingredient,
to figure out what you want to boil. but cooking one thing that tastes

THE NOODLE WOULD BE NARCISSISTIC TO
IMAGINE IT CONTAINED WITHIN ITS CELL WALLS

ALL THE PERFECTION IT WOULD EVER NEED

As long as it’s a big pot and the water good in another, which requires that
in it gets hot, whichever technique they both taste like something. All
you choose and however you time ingredients need salt. The noodle
your addition of ingredients, the or tender spring pea would be
world—which began by some narcissistic to imagine it already
assessments with a lot of water at a contained within its cell walls all the
rolling boil—will not come to an end. perfection it would ever need. We too
seem to fear that we are failures at
Julia Child instructs tasting being tender and springy if we need
water periodically as it climbs to be seasoned. It’s not so; it doesn’t
toward 212 degrees to get used to reflect badly on pea or person that
its temperature at each stage. Her either needs help to be most itself.
advice might be overzealous, but it
teaches an invaluable lesson, not Add salt by hand so that you start
about boiling, but about learning to to get a feel for how much savouring
cook: if there is anything that you takes, and as you do, taste the water
can learn from what is happening, repeatedly. This may at first feel
learn it. You don’t need to know ridiculous, and then it will start to
how the properties of water differ seem so useful you’ll stand by the
at 100 degrees and at 180, but by pot feeling quite ingenious. Even
tasting it at those temperatures you though the water is boiling, you can
may learn something about your pot test it with your finger. If it’s well

132 • JANUARY 2023

READER’S DIGEST

seasoned, just tapping the surface will leave enough on Excerpt from
your skin for you to taste. An Everlasting
Meal—
When you find yourself tasting your water, you are Cooking with
doing the most important thing you ever can as a cook: Economy and
the only way to make anything you’re cooking taste Grace by
good, whether it’s water or something more substantial, Tamar Adler
is to make sure all its parts taste good along the way. (published
There are moments in cooking when common sense by Swift Press)
dictates not to taste—biting into a dirty beet or raw hbk £14.99
potato—but do taste anything else from a few minutes
after you start cooking it until it’s done. You don’t need
to know what it’s supposed to taste like; what anything
is supposed to taste like, at any point in its cooking, is
good. This is as true for water as for other ingredients. n

Wondrous Facts About The West End

For the long-running musical The Phantom of the Opera, it takes a total of two hours to
apply the Phantom’s make-up before each show, and 30 minutes to remove it

A number of venues, such as the Palace Theatre and Her Majesty’s Theatre, were built
either in their entirety, or partly, around 150-200 years ago

The Savoy Theatre is adjacent to luxury hotel The Savoy Hotel. As a consequence of this,
the stage of the theatre is directly located beneath a swimming pool

JANUARY 2023 • 133

MOFILNMTOFHTHE

HHHHH

TÁR

T he Australian queen of charmingly blunt Russian cellist
cinema Cate Blanchett Olga—she grows more and more out
dazzles and terrifies in equal of touch with herself.
measure as the fictitious
conductor Lydia Tár in this note- The film is a wonderfully stylish,
perfect, moody psychodrama. A ominous affair. Drenched in pale,
former piano prodigy who has won neutral hues, and featuring the
numerous awards, written books and darkly expressive score by Oscar
became the first woman conductor winner Hildur Guðnadóttir (whom
of the Berlin Philharmonic, Tár is Tár mentions as one of her female
at the peak of her career. She’s a composer heroes at one point in the
spiky alpha female whom everyone film), it’s restrained, sexy, unnerving,
addresses as “maestro”; she’s a and totally absorbed by the
manipulative and evasive partner intimidating yet utterly fascinating
to her wife, Sharon, yet at the same world of classical music it inhabits.
time, she’s incredibly seductive, It comes as no surprise that Cate
whip-smart and wryly hilarious— Blanchett won the Best Actress prize
qualities that many a student of hers at last year’s Venice Film Festival
has fallen prey to. for playing this baffling enigma of a
person that we’re inclined to dislike,
As she faces blackmail from one yet can’t help but bask in the steely
of her former protégés and tries light of her presence.
to navigate her fascination with a
recent addition to the orchestra—a Tar is out in UK cinemas on January 20

134 • JANUARY 2023 R E A D E R S D I G E S T. C O . U K / C U LT U R E

FILM

ALSO OUT THIS MONTH

HHHH

WHAT’S LOVE GOT
TO DO WITH IT?

L ily James and Shazad Latif flair, asking all the difficult questions
star in what initially seems that fairytale love stories tend to
like a typical rom-com off suppress with the “happily ever
the assembly line of rom- after”. Jemima Khan’s fabulous script
coms: Zoe (played by James) is an is a thorough and compelling labour
aspiring documentary filmmaker of love, the product of many years of
looking for her next big project. An rewrites and rumination, that deftly
independent young woman, she’s balances emotional fragility with
constantly dodging her mother impish cheek. The result is a story
Cath’s (Emma Thompson, whose that elevates and fortifies the rom-
character deserves a spinoff of her com genre—just ask the roomful of
own) efforts at playing cupid as well film critics who left the screening
as numerous weird guys she meets with a tear in their eye.
on dating apps.
By Eva Mackevic
When her childhood friend Kazim
(Latif ) announces that he’s planning
to enter an arranged marriage (or
“assisted” as he insists they call it
these days), Zoe is gobsmacked.
What if they don’t share any
interests? What if his Indian bride
doesn’t want to move to London?
Most importantly, what about
love? Despite her reservations, she
cajoles Kazim into letting her travel
to Lahore for the wedding and
document this unusual union.

Light-hearted fare on the surface,
What’s Love Got to Do With It?

proves to be a multifaceted story
that tackles the subject of love and
companionship with nuance and

JANUARY 2023 • 135

TELEVISION

G iven the past state is being divided up,
year’s events, hollowed out and sold off.
it’s perhaps Famous faces come and go—
unsurprising Gorbachev, Yeltsin, an agonised
that TV should start looking Mikhail Kalashnikov, inventor of the
East again. Russia 1985-1999: rifles that accelerated the damage
TraumaZone (iPlayer) marks a break as civil war erupted—but Curtis’s
from filmmaker Adam Curtis’s usual sympathies lie with the ordinary folks
methodology: no contextualising at the mercy of murderously cold-
voiceover, and minimal music; blooded leadership.
just extracts of the (often very) Scant surprise, too, that Russians
raw footage that BBC cameramen should be returning to TV fiction’s
collected around the former Soviet naughty steps. Series two of Slow
Union at the end of the last century— Horses (Apple TV+) finds our heroes
footage of which we’d typically see pursuing FSB sleeper agents through
but 15 seconds on the nightly news. a London drowning in filthy lucre;
Onscreen text pins down places and a dirty job, but Gary Oldman’s ever-
times, but largely the images speak dishevelled MI5 outcast Jackson
for themselves. Many howl in rage Lamb is the man for it. Oldman
and sorrow. remains one of this show’s great
pleasures, cherishably precise about
Over seven jawdropping Lamb’s sloppiness. Hair hanging lank,
instalments, we witness Russia tie even lanker, he’s an apt protector
veering from oppressive organisation of a Britain that seems as careworn as
to extreme chaos, a whiplash the characters. John le Carré would
ideological U-turn that benefitted surely have raised a glass—of scotch,
an elite few while scattering the mind, not vodka.
majority to the bears. Empty shelves
and breadlines are the tip of the by Mike McCahill
iceberg; everywhere you look, this

Retro Pick:

The Great Season1/2
(YouTube)
Alternative Russian history, replaying Catherine
and Peter the Great’s union as a rude, knockabout
battle-of-the-sexes. Elle Fanning and Nicholas
Hoult excel upfront

136 • JANUARY 2023

Album Of The Month: MUSIC

Mercy 5 Spotify Alternatives
New year, new music
by John Cale discovery routes

The world has 1. Shfl
taken a distinct A music discovery
dystopian turn in labyrinthe curated by
the decade since John Cale last released humans. Critics and
a solo record of original songs, and it shows. Cale musicians have added
has always pushed his music to strange, unnerving their favourite albums,
edges—which served The Velvet Underground’s plus written up guides
anxious art rock well in the 1960s—but his newest to aid browsing.
album somehow manages to take his sound to
new levels of dread. 2. NPR’s Tiny Desk
A series of unplugged
Building on his experiments with electronic performances hosted
production on Shifty Adventures in Nookie Wood behind a literal office
(2012), Mercy thankfully leaves the questionable desk by NPR.
autotune behind and concentrates instead on
building paranoid soundscapes from eerie bleeps, 3. Music-Map
ambient static and restrained drum loops. All this Search for your
frames his fraught baritone vocals, which speak to favourite artist to
the numerous trials of our times (“The grandeur generate a word cloud
that was Europe is sinking in the mud,” he sings of similar musicians.
in “Time Stands Still”, which Sylvan Esso lends
her ethereal voice to; “What is the legal status of 4. 8tracks
ice?” he ponders in a later track over a tempest of Recently revived
droning guitars and pounding drums). internet radio station
where playlists are
The musicianship and production are curated by users.
doubtlessly well honed, but the tempo and vocals Browse by artist, genre,
remain almost too consistent. One track passes mood or activity.
seamlessly into the other—though collaborations
with artists like Weyes Blood on “Story of Blood” 5. Magic Playlist
and Animal Collective on “Everlasting Days” Type in the title of a
do produce some novel sounds. Cale certainly song to auto-generate
succeeds in composing a foreboding album to a playlist. You can
match today’s zeitgeist, but Mercy may not go import this playlist to
down as his most memorable creation. Spotify too.

By Becca Inglis

JANUARY 2023 • 12371

BOOKS

January Fiction

A true crime author digs into a grisly cult
in our first book pick of the year

The Mysterious Case of the
Alperton Angels
by Janice Hallett
Viper, £16.99

In recent years, Janice Hallett twisting plot, we get a full sense of
has been building a reputation the characters and a deep plunge
not just as a new thriller writer, into a world normally hidden from the
but, more often, as a writer of rest of us. And online, of course, it’s
a new kind of thriller. By now, even easier for people to not be what
you might have thought there wasn’t they seem…
much more to be done with the
genre. Hallett, though, has managed In this case, the hidden world is that
it—by doing away with conventional of true crime writing. The protagonist is
narrative altogether and instead Amanda Bailey, who lets us into the
presenting the raw material in the not-always-honourable tricks of her
shape of interview transcripts, text trade as she attempts to discover what
messages and email exchanges. happened two decades ago when a
London-based cult persuaded teenage
In theory, this could lead to a rather Holly and her boyfriend that their baby
dry read. In practice, Hallett still was the antichrist who needed to be
provides everything you’d want from a sacrificed for the good of humanity. In
great thriller. Along with an ever- the event, thanks to Holly, the baby
survived, causing the cult members to
James Walton is a commit suicide.
book reviewer and
broadcaster, and has
written and presented
17 series of the BBC
Radio 4 literary quiz
The Write Stuff

138 • JANUARY 2023

But was this what really happened? Paperbacks
And whatever did, was it a matter of
emotional manipulation, the genuinely Zelensky: A Biography of Ukraine’s
supernatural or something darker and War Leader by Steven Derix and
scarier still? Marina Shelkunova (Canbury, £9.99).
From comedian to global hero: the first
To find out, Amanda must first find biography for a Western audience.
the baby (adopted soon afterwards)—
no simple task, given that anybody with Godmersham Park
any information tends to die suddenly by Gill Hornby (Penguin, £9.99).
under mysterious circumstances. Novel based on the real-life story of the
There’s also the fact that she has a rival governess hired by Jane Austen’s
baby-seeker—a former journalistic brother—and the touching friendship
colleague called Oliver. that developed between the two
women. A total delight.
Not everything about the book quite
works. There are, for example, just a few Write It All Down: How to Put Your
too many plot strands, and even by the Life on the Page
standards of hopeless fictional males, by Cathy Rentzenbrink (Bluebird.
Oliver is a somewhat unbelievable £9.99). Wise, kindly and practical
pillock. Nevertheless, if you keep your guide for anybody wanting to write
wits about you, the overall result is a their memoirs.
richly rewarding, blisteringly clever
read that raises questions about human The Slowworm’s Song
gullibility in all its forms, while still by Andrew Miller (Sceptre, £9.99).
moving forward propulsively. n An ex-soldier now living quietly in
Somerset confronts what he did during
Name the character the Northern Ireland Troubles in this
moving and compassionate novel.
Can you guess the fictional character
from these clues (and, of course, the Nellie: The Life and
fewer you need the better)? Loves of a Diva
1. The two extremely famous books by Robert Wainwright
she appeared in were illustrated by (Allen & Unwin, £10.99). A
John Tenniel. gripping, pacy and
2. Her creator, who died 125 years ago sometimes gossipy
this month, was an Oxford don. biography of Australian
3. The characters she meets include a opera singer Dame
mad hatter and a Cheshire cat. Nellie Melba.

Answer on p142

BOOKS

RECOMMENDED READ:

Island Escape

Travel writer Robert Twigger goes adventuring in the
Lake District’s sodden landscape

“Who doesn’t have a of Britain’s most stunning, and
thing about islands?” sometimes still unspoiled, scenery.
writes Robert Twigger on
page one of his terrific He also takes full advantage of the
new book. The way he “deceleration of time” that comes
sees it, they haunt our with mostly solitary journeying
imagination as places of to ponder—among many other
opportunity to escape our things—life as he approaches
everyday lives and have 60, determined not to turn into a
new adventures. curmudgeon (something, happily
for the reader, he doesn’t always
In this, as he
acknowledges, he has
been influenced since
boyhood by Arthur
Ransome’s Swallows and
Amazons novels, where
children get away from the
adults and find freedom
on the islands of the Lake
District—all 36 of which he now sets
out to visit.

In the past, Twigger has written
acclaimed travelogues about the
Himalayas, the Rocky Mountains and
the Sahara. With 36 Islands, he brings
the same wide-ranging curiosity
and intelligence to bear as he walks,
paddles and kayaks through some

140 • JANUARY 2023

READER’S DIGEST

achieve). Meanwhile, we learn a lot on Route 66 when your tank is
about Ransome too: one of the few showing empty.
British authors to have played chess
with Vladimir Lenin. This is one of the things I love about
such trips as the one Mark and I were
Here, Twigger and his occasional making: there were no rules and quite
travelling companion Mark are going easily you could get into difficulties
from Ullswater to Windermere—a largely of your own making. It was like
journey made trickier by Twigger’s putting an adventure filter on modern
plan to walk all the way dragging life. We could have driven from
their stuff in a trolley and avoiding Ullswater to Windermere, we could
commercial campsites for more have taken a taxi. But by insisting
rugged spots. Until, that is, after a on the loopy use of the trolley I’d
miserable night under wet canvas, elevated the journey into one of
they realise how much trudging still drama needing resolution.
lies ahead…
Wobbling along the rocky track
“ “The next morning, amid through the campsite, we mocked
more rain, we packed our the sensible campers for paying £10
cumbersome belongings. There was or more just to pitch their tents and
a campsite marked on the map a mile use the toilet block. *Suckers!* We
or two away and we speculated that looked at them hoping for some kind
it might have a bus stop, as it lay of recognition of our superior status,
on the Kirkstone Pass road to but it was too early and too drizzly;
Windermere. A certain desperation most were loitering inside the open
raised the idea of a potential bus stop flaps of their tents while brushing
to the level of a mythical water hole their teeth and looking disconsolately
in the desert, or a gas station out on the Lake District in its most
natural state, i.e. sopping wet.
36 Islands: In Search of the
Wonders of the I went into the campsite office
Lake District and and asked if there was a bus stop
a Few Other nearby. There was! Only 100 metres
Things Too by away. And the kind, smiling woman
Robert Twigger is also gave me a BUS TIMETABLE.
published by This was, emotionally speaking, as
Weidenfeld & exciting as getting a lift after nine
Nicolson at £20 hours of hitching, or finding that
a train you had expected to have
left is late and you can easily catch
it. Our trip had been elevated into
something teetering on the brink

JANUARY 2023 • 141

BOOKS Robert Twigger’s Favourite
Lake District Books
of disaster (walking 18 miles while
dragging an infernal trolley over a Pigeon Post by Arthur Ransome
high pass in rain-drenched fog)—a (1936). This was my favourite in
small disaster admittedly, but one Ransome’s Swallows and Amazons
we’d just averted by the kind offices series, because it involved gold
of the campsite lady and the bus mining and the mysterious
timetable, which I felt awfully clever “Squashy Hat”—a man based on the
for asking for and getting. early seaplane inventor Oscar
Gnosspelius, who crashed one of his
At the bus stop: two lads perhaps a first planes on Windermere.
third our age, respectful, thoughtful,
studenty types, engaged with us in A Walk Around the Lakes by
a discussion of the odd fact that the Hunter Davies (1979). Davies
bus stopped at the *same stop* on the writes so well that you hardly notice
*same side* whatever direction it was he is there. Yet his humour and
coming in, the road being so narrow. insight shine out in every page,
That they knew the bus routine was reflected back in the Lakeland
very reassuring to me, as every time I subjects he writes about.
catch an unfamiliar bus I’m assailed
by the worry that it will drive by and A Guide Through the District of
ignore me. Often I will step into the the Lakes by William
road moments before a bus cruises to Wordsworth (1810, updated
a halt—just to add extra weight to my 1835). A classic, and still both useful
flagging-down gestures. and very readable.

It’s the same sort of micro-anxiety I The Western Fells by Alfred
get when a train is sitting at a platform Wainwright (1966). This was the
and the sign says it is my train—but last Lake District pictorial guide by
how do I know for sure?” the master and covers some
fascinating and overlooked hills.
”Answer to Name the Character:
Thorstein of the Mere: A Saga of
Alice in Alice’s Adventures in the Northmen in Lakeland by
Wonderland and Through WG Collingwood (1985). A
the Looking Glass by Lewis rollicking Viking yarn set in the
Carroll. The character Lakes that also influenced Tolkien.
was famously based on
the real-life girl Alice
Liddell, who later
married a cricketer and
died in 1934 aged 82.

142 • JANUARY 2023

Books

THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

C K McDonnell is a former stand-up comedian
and TV writer. His new book Love Will Tear Us
Apart (part of The Stranger Times series) is
released on February 9 (Bantam Press, £16.99)

The Truth – Terry Pratchett
Picking just one Discworld novel has been a frankly tortuous process,
but after much gnashing of teeth I’ve gone for this masterpiece. All of
Pratchett’s work combines a deft comedic touch with a searing insight
into the human condition. The Truth is him at the absolute peak of his
powers, weaving his usual wit and wisdom with a beautifully stated case
for the importance of a free press from a former journalist. I started
reading him as a kid and his books have been a constant companion ever since. That
rarity of a book that works for people of all ages.

The Power of the Dog– Country of the Blind –
Don Winslow Christopher
This is a work of fiction Brookmyre
that permanently There are many people
changed my in publishing who will
perspective on reality. tell you that comedy
First off, The Cartel and crime don’t mix—
trilogy that it begins is a brilliant those people need to get smacked
sprawling narrative, which ranks up upside the head with a copy of this
there with The Godfather as a book, preferably the hardback.
masterpiece of storytelling. It is also Brookmyre’s irascible cutting wit acts
researched in such fine detail that it as the perfect seasoning to a seat-of-
strips bare the fallacy of “the war on your-pants thrill ride of a narrative that’ll
drugs” and makes you question have you staying up all night to finish it.
everything you thought about it. Finally, Back when I had a proper job (well, I
the writing—my god, the writing. worked in IT, but still) a co-worker noted
There’s one scene in an earthquake that how I was always off sick the day after a
is the most visceral prose I’ve ever read. new Chris Brookmyre came out. Guilty,
Beyond stunning. your honour.

FOR MORE, GO TO READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/CULTURE JANUARY 2023 • 143

TECHNOLOGY

James O’Malley on how “deepfakes” ushered
in a new generation of digital fakery

Don’t Believe Your Eyes

I f you’re a geek like I am, then Queen for its annual Alternative
you’ll remember the dramatic Christmas Message.
moment at the end of 2016 Star
Wars prequel Rogue One when The way deepfakes are made is
just before the closing credits we by using the similar clever “deep
catch a brief glimpse of a fresh-faced learning” techniques as the AI face-
Princess Leia, looking as though recognition on your phone. You
Carrie Fisher had just stepped out of “train” the deepfake app by showing
a time machine from 1977. it some video footage of your target,
and it will crunch through the images
The digital recreation was a big to spot patterns and identify the
technical achievement. It was almost person’s facial features and how the
perfect, and was clearly the result face looks when smiling, or when
of thousands of hours of work by certain sounds are made, and so
the animators and artists working on. Then you show it a video of
on the film. another face saying the things you
want the fake to say, and it will use
But just two years later, a new that as a template to generate new
technology arrived that would render images that match mouth
Rogue One almost quaint: the movements, eyebrows and other
“Deepfake”. Suddenly, instead of facial ticks—making it look as though
requiring skilled artists, digital your target really was saying those
face-swaps could be created with shocking things.
little more than a bedroom PC. And
the technology can be used to put Unsurprisingly, the technology has
words in the mouth of, well, pretty already led to some mischief. There
much anyone. are already countless viral videos
where Nicolas Cage has been
For example, one famous early "deepfaked" to star as Indiana Jones,
deepfake saw a video of President James Bond and so on. And with
Obama modified to show him calling grim inevitability, many female
Donald Trump a “total and complete celebrities have been deepfaked into
dips**t." And in 2020, Channel 4 much worse.
created a similar fake video of the

144 • JANUARY 2023

Perhaps the area deepfake on tens of

where there is most millions of images

concern about the across the web and

new technology can generate entirely

though is in politics. new images from just

What is striking a few keywords. For

about deepfakes is example, an app

that almost anyone called “Stable

with a little technical Diffusion”, which like

know-how can make the deepfake app can

them. You can run on almost any

literally download computer, can be fed
the software to do it
UNSURPRISINGLY, a cue line, say

for free, and have it THE TECHNOLOGY “Princess Leia in the

running in minutes. HAS ALREADY LED style of Monet”, and it
And it is easy to TO SOME MISCHIEF will generate almost
imagine how
exactly that (image

someone with bad above)—no humans

intentions could use the technology required. However, here’s the strange

to cause harm. Imagine a video of thing. I’m not actually that worried

President Biden or President Putin about deepfakes and AI-art tools

announcing that he was launching being used to spread fraud and

nuclear missiles… Let’s hope that misinformation. Why? Because we

Washington and Moscow don’t don’t actually need them.

respond in kind too hastily. We’ve all clicked "like" on an

In fact, both the Obama and image purporting to show the crowd

Queen videos were designed, in a at a protest, even though it’s a photo

sense, to warn of the dangers that of people at an entirely different

deepfakes could pose. Because gathering. And we’ve all shared a

usually we think of “video evidence” made-up news story, just because it

as the unimpeachable truth—but is unflattering to a politician we

now, the worry goes, how can we don’t like. So we don’t need

trust anything we see, if it can, in sophisticated new technical wizardry

theory, be faked? to fool ourselves into believing

And the scale of the challenge something we really want to believe.

from AI-generated imagery is, if Even if deepfakes do become

anything, getting even worse. Last widespread, it won’t make much

year saw an explosion of new AI tools difference—we’re already too good at

that have been "trained" like a tricking ourselves. n

JANUARY 2023 • 145

FUN & GAMES You Couldn’t
Make It Up
£50 PRIZE
QUESTION Win £30 for your
true, funny stories!
CHANGELINGS
Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us
Each of the three lines of letters or facebook.com/readersdigestuk
below spell the names of Olympic
sports, but the letters have been Our four-year-old grandson came to
mixed up. Four letters from the first visit recently. As he had been
word are now in the third line, four misbehaving, his granny told him
letters from the third word are in the that Father Christmas would not
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the second word are in the first line.
The remaining letters are in their He looked up at the ceiling and
original place. What are the words? said, "There are no cameras!"

GOLMESBCLL STEWART PETHER, Abingdon-on-Thames
EYTNAHTINS
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JOHN HORTON, Oldham
She tried to move the key nearer
146 • JANUARY 2023 the door, but failed, so she played a

game with the cat and a stick. The cat
moved the key nearer the door so she
could reach it.

“Bingo!” She was rescued by the
cat. “Talk of a get-out claws!”

IDA LEE, Cork

My husband and I are both in our at nursery soon," Jacqui told Evie.
seventies but enjoy being quite fit "Her name is Evie too. If there are two
with reasonable health. I do have Evies in your class would you like to
some food intolerances, so I have to be known as Evie, Evelyn, Eve or Ev?"
watch what I eat. From time to time
something I have eaten will make me Evie thought about it for a little
quite unwell. while, and then triumphantly
announced, "John!"
I had just had a particularly
difficult afternoon with this problem, PAT COURT, Oxfordshire
but was beginning to improve, when
our daughter messaged to see what I was surprised to find my friend
we were up to. As usual she also had brought back a large packet of
asked how we were. washing powder from a luxury
holiday in the Bahamas. He
I started to say we were OK, but felt explained that this was the brand his
I should maybe admit that I had been hotel used and the smell brought
unwell. I did not want it to sound too back wonderful memories of his trip.
depressing, so I decided to try and
sound upbeat about it. In my reply I After spending a cold winter at
said we were OK, but that I had had a home, he booked another holiday
very lively afternoon with my old gut. but said he was going to ask the hotel
I also said that things were now to use a different wash powder,
calming down, and for good measure because the first one now reminded
added a “Phew!” at the end. him of the cold and wet back home.

Unfortunately I only noticed after I ANDREW BERRY, Lincoln
had sent the message that the
corrective text on my phone had
changed my word “gut” to “guy!”

MORAG HAY, Shetland

My daughter was driving my three-
year-old granddaughter Evie to
nursery. "There is a new girl starting

cartoon by Henry Dean-Osgood JANUARY 2023 • 147

TRIVIA

By Samantha Rideout

1. What condiment was in short supply 8. Roughly 255 million years ago, India,
last year across France, despite being Africa and Australia were all touching the
named after a French city? land that is now which continent?

2. The UK’s Norland College is known for 9. What Canadian Oscar nominee said,

training elite providers of what service? “Bullying puts you in a place where, later,

you have so much unlearning to do”?

3. How many cells do bacteria have?

10. What European city suffered a

4. Volunteers receive anesthesia when devastating earthquake in 1755?

they donate which of the following: blood,

bone marrow or plasma? 11. What is the world’s bestselling studio

album by a solo female musical artist?

5. Who recently became the third

person to earn a billion dollars by making 12. What was the ninth-century Japanese

films, joining Steven Spielberg and Emperor Uda describing when he

George Lucas? wrote, “When it lies down, it

curls in a circle like a coin”?

6. Players in what

professional sports league 13. Zara Rutherford and her

perform such signature brother Mack recently became

celebratory moves as “Ice the youngest woman and the

in My Veins,” “Night Night” and youngest person, respectively,

“The Silencer”? to do what?

15. Billions of the people

7. Which cetaceans alive today wouldn’t have 14. What tabletop-game

recently began attacking food to eat if it weren’t for franchise of Stranger

small boats, sometimes ammonia, a fertiliser Things fame will get a

sinking them? compound made by new film this year?

extracting which element photo: ©getty images

from the air?

Answers: 1. Dijon mustard. 2. Nannying. 3. One cell each. 4. Bone marrow. 5. Peter Jackson.
6. The NBA. 7. Orcas. Scientists don’t fully understand this behaviour, but it may be a playful “fad.”
8. Antarctica. 9. Elliot Page. 10. Lisbon. 11. Shania Twain’s Come on Over. 12. A cat. 13. Fly solo
around the world. 14. Dungeons & Dragons. 15. Nitrogen.

148 • JANUARY 2023