Lillenas Drama Presents Ask, Seek, or Knock - nph.com

Lillenas® Drama Presents

Ask, Seek, or Knock

from Soldiers of Light

By Stephen Hicks & Jerry Cohagan

“I’d like to buy an E, Pat.”
“Singers and dancers for 100, Alex.”
“Joan Rivers to block, John.”
Recognize any of these phrases? If you are tuned in to our television culture at all,
you should.

EWe decided a TV game show might be an interesting venue for us to take a

lighthearted look at whether the beliefs we say we have really do make a differ-

Lence. It’s hard in our culture not to opt for “door No. 3” over the cost of choosing

the way of God. Sometimes it is hard to see things with an eternal viewpoint.

P I N T“Ask, Seek, or Knock” reminds us that our choices have eternal consequences,

Reven if we wish they didn’t. It is tough for our hearts not to be where our treasure

M Pis. So we thought it wouldn’t hurt to remind ourselves how temporary the material

Tworld is when seen in the light of eternal choices. Some of us make decisions about

A Opriorities in our life that we could end up regretting “until the 12th of Never, and
S D O Nthat’s a long, long time.” Hey, that sounds kind of familiar.

Purpose:

The world measures our success by financial status and material wealth. God
uses a different set of standards. As it says in the Good Book, “One cannot serve
both God and money.”

Running Time:

4-5 minutes

Cast:

WINK: The epitome of game-show hosts. He is smooth, well-dressed, and slick as
oil. He has perfect teeth to enhance his perfect smile that goes with his
perfectly combed hair. He is also totally artificial.

JONATHAN MULCH: The first contestant. Overcome with excitement throughout his
time on the program. Breaks down and blubbers like an idiot when he loses.

CHESTER HUNNEYHUGGER: A good ole country boy. Drawls and twangs every word.

“Ask, Seek, or Knock” is taken from Soldiers of Light. Copyright© 1988 by Stephen Hicks and Jerry Cohagan. All print rights administered by Lillenas© Publishing
Company. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States.

WILBUR BARKFERDNER: An average, normal contestant whose priorities become
obviously mixed up.

JAY (announcer’s voice offstage): Deep, resonant, and full of life.

Props:

A fishbowl full of names on pieces of paper
Costume each character as desired, perhaps farmer’s cap and overalls for Chester,

and so on.

HOST: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to our nighttime version
of that famous game show we all love to play, “Ask, Seek, or Knock,” where
you can win anything your little heart desires by simply asking, seeking, or
(taps his head with his hand and clicks his tongue) knocking! That’s right,
ladies and gentlemen, the sky is the limit! Anything can be yours on “Ask,
Seek, or Knock.” Our first contestant this evening is . . . (pulls a card out of
the fishbowl) Jonathan Mulch from Portland, Oregon! Come on down!

(JON jumps up from out in the audience and begins kissing every girl he sees as he

Emakes his way to the stage, then gets to the front row and starts to kiss a gentleman

but stops just in time. He runs on stage full of energy, panting and vigorously

Lshaking his wrists uncontrollably.)
P I N THOST: What is that (pointing at his hands), some kind of lucky gesture?

P RJON: Nervous twitch! (Continues to shake his wrists until his turn is over) Oh, I’m

M Tsoooo excited!
A N OHOST: And well you should be!
S D OJON (out of breath): I’m also hyperventilating! (Can’t catch his breath)

HOST: You know how the game is played. All you have to do is ask, seek, or knock,
and it shall be given unto you! Are you ready?

JON (still panting, he shakes his head): I can’t, I can’t breathe, I—

HOST: You have 10 seconds beginning . . . now! (Two seconds elapse and buzzer
sounds.) Ahh, sorry, Jon. Your time’s up, you kinda just shook it all away. (JON
starts to blubber.) Hasn’t he been a wonderful contestant, folks! (Polite
applause as JON is ushered off, bawling.) Thank you, Jon, you’ll receive a
year’s supply of Scotch tape. We’ve got time for another contestant. (Reaches
into bowl.) Hailing from Cedar Rapids, Iowa . . . Chester Hunneyhugger, come
on down!

CHESTER (stands to his feet in the audience and yells with a country twang): What
name’d you call?

HOST: Chester Hunneyhugger!

CHESTER (still standing in audience): That’s me! That’s my name! (Pokes man sitting

“Ask, Seek, or Knock” is taken from Soldiers of Light. Copyright© 1988 by Stephen Hicks and Jerry Cohagan. All print rights administered by Lillenas© Publishing
Company. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States.

next to him) I can’t believe this, I’m gonna be on TV! I am dumbfounded!
(Makes his way onstage, affectionately punches HOST in the arm several times)
I just love your show, Wink! I watch you every day; I just think you’re great!

HOST (holding his arm): Thank you. And don’t touch the suit.

CHESTER: Oh, sorry. . . . I love your show, Wink, I just love it!

HOST: Then you know how the game is played.

CHESTER (beat): No. No, I don’t. I watch it, but I never have understood it.

HOST: Well, you have 10 seconds to ask, seek, or knock for anything you desire!

CHESTER (making a joke): Kind of a long game, ain’t it? (Starts to punch HOST, but
stops short and chuckles)

HOST: Ready? Go!

CHESTER (not hearing him, he rambles): Did I tell you I watch you every day? I’m
unemployed right now, so me and the little lady watch all the game shows. We

Ewatch all the soap operas, too. (Leaning in, confiding) I cannot believe what

Erica is doin’ to her boyfriend. Oh, well. I’m ready . . . let’s play!

L THOST (buzzer sounds): Awww, I’m sorry, Chester, but time’s up. (CHESTER looks
P I Nstunned.) Time ran out on you.

P RCHESTER: I never did like your show. (Stomps off)

M THOST (trying to save face): And that’s what makes this country great! That com-
A Opetitive spirit! You’ll receive a year’s supply of thumbtacks just for being on

Nour show! (Grinning through his teeth) Put them . . . to good use, Chet. We’ve

S Ogot time for one more contestant! (Picks out last card in bowl) Wilbur

DBarkferdner, from Ho-Ho-Kus, N.J., come on down! (WILBUR runs onstage

and hugs the HOST, swinging him around.) Great, put me down, Wilbur.
(WILBUR does so.) You know how the game is played?

WILBUR: You betcha!

HOST: You ready?

WILBUR: You betcha!

HOST: You excited?

WILBUR: You betcha! (Hugs HOST again and sets him down on other side)

HOST: I thought so. OK, time starts . . . now!

WILBUR (thinking aloud): What to ask for, what to ask for . . . oh, good heavens, I
don’t know—

(Bells go off, balloons fall, general whoopee.)

HOST: That’s right! You’ve won a free trip to heaven! You’ll be flown directly from

“Ask, Seek, or Knock” is taken from Soldiers of Light. Copyright© 1988 by Stephen Hicks and Jerry Cohagan. All print rights administered by Lillenas© Publishing
Company. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States.

Cape Kennedy in your own personal shuttle right up to those pearly gates.
From there, Saint Peter himself will give you his own personally escorted tour.
You’ll see those silver-lined clouds, those streets of gold, and you’ll even get a
glimpse of that condo being built just for you! All this, courtesy of “Ask, Seek,
or Knock.” Whatta ya got to say to that?

WILBUR (beat): That’s it? No car, microwave . . . nothing? Not even a Ronco
Vegamatic, a Popeil’s Pocket Fisherman? How ‘bout some Ginsu knives?

HOST: You seem a little unhappy with your gift.

WILBUR: We’re talking major disgruntlement here. The last thing I want to do in
this world is take a trip!

HOST: Believe me, Wilbur, the last thing you will do is take a trip. Would you be
willing to trade your trip—

WILBUR: You betcha!

HOST: . . . for the box Jay is bringing down the aisle! Or the cash in my pocket! Or

Ethe curtain where the lovely Carol Marol is standing!
LWILBUR (jumping at every offer): The box! No, the cash! No! Carol Marol! I mean

the curtain! I want the curtain! It’s the biggest!

P I N THOST: OK, you’ve made your choice. (Starting to usher him off) Thanks for
Rplaying—

M T PWILBUR: Wait a minute. Don’t I get to know what’s behind the curtain?
A N OHOST (beat): Let’s just say it’s another trip.
S D OWILBUR: Don’t I get to choose where I want to go?

HOST: I think you already have.

WILBUR (as he leaves the stage): Oh, OK. (A little confused) That’s more like it.

HOST: Well, our time is up, ladies and gentlemen! But just for being our studio
audience, you’re each going to receive some lovely gifts! Jay, tell them about
it!

JAY’S VOICE (over sound system): Thanks, Blink! Just for—

HOST (grinning through his teeth): That’s Wink.

JAY’S VOICE: Sorry. Just for being in our audience, you’re each going to receive the
new fragrance, Chanel No. 13, Ode to Sweatsock! Bottled in a French gym-
nasium, now you can take that locker room smell right on home with you.
You’ll each receive the greatest hits of Slim Whitman, also! It’s a 45, of course.
And just for being alive, you’ll each receive the home version of “Ask, Seek,
or Knock” where you, too, can play along and decide where you wish to spend
eternity. Back to you, Blink!

“Ask, Seek, or Knock” is taken from Soldiers of Light. Copyright© 1988 by Stephen Hicks and Jerry Cohagan. All print rights administered by Lillenas© Publishing
Company. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States.

HOST (still grinning through his teeth): That’s Wink, not Blink.

JAY’S VOICE: Sorry.

HOST: Be sure to tune in tomorrow for that game show that’s a favorite of yours
and mine, “Ask, Seek, or (taps his head and clicks his tongue) Knock”!

(Blackout)

P LR I NETThe purchase of this sketch entitles the purchaser to make photocopies of this material for use in their church or nonprofit organization. The sharing of this materi-

Pal with other churches or organizations not owned or controlled by the original purchaser is strictly prohibited. The contents of this sketch may not be reproduced

Min any other form without written permission from the publisher. Please include the copyright statement found below on each copy made.
A O TQuestions? Please write, call, or E-mail:
O NLillenas® Publishing Company E-mail: [email protected]
Web Site: www.lillenasdrama.com
S DDrama Resources
Phone: 816-931-1900
Fax: 816-412-8390

P.O. Box 419527

Kansas City, MO 64141

The sketch collection Soldiers of Light (MP-647) is available for purchase from Lillenas® Drama or from your local Christian bookstore.
For a full description of the rest of this collection, or to purchase other individual sketches, refer to
www.lillenasdrama.com

“Ask, Seek, or Knock” is taken from Soldiers of Light. Copyright© 1988 by Stephen Hicks and Jerry Cohagan. All print rights administered by Lillenas© Publishing
Company. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States.