Readers Digest February2020

other medicines to treat overactive bladder. Tell your doctor right away if you are unable to
empty your bladder.
• angioedema. Myrbetriq may cause an allergic reaction with swelling of the lips, face, tongue,

q and tell your doctor right away.

The most common side effects of Myrbetriq include:

• increased blood pressure • dizziness
• common cold symptoms • joint pain

(nasopharyngitis) • headache
• dry mouth • constipation
• sinus (sinus irritation)
• urinary tract infection
• back pain (cystitis)

Tell your doctor if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away or if you have
swelling of the face, lips, tongue, or throat, hives, skin rash or itching while taking Myrbetriq.

These are not all the possible side effects of Myrbetriq.

Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to the FDA
at 1-800-FDA-1088.

How should I store Myrbetriq?
• Store Myrbetriq between 59°F to 86°F (15°C to 30°C). Keep the bottle closed.
• Safely throw away medicine that is out of date or no longer needed.

Keep Myrbetriq and all medicines out of the reach of children.

General information about the safe and effective use of Myrbetriq
Medicines are sometimes prescribed for purposes other than those listed in the Patient Information

ot prescribed. Do not give Myrbetriq
to other people, even if they have the same symptoms you have. It may harm them.

You can ask your doctor or pharmacist for information about Myrbetriq that is written for
health professionals.

For more information, visit www.Myrbetriq.com or call (800) 727-7003.

What are the ingredients in Myrbetriq?
Active ingredient: mirabegron
Inactive ingredients: polyethylene oxide, polyethylene glycol, hydroxypropyl cellulose, butylated
hydroxytoluene, magnesium stearate, hypromellose, yellow ferric oxide and red ferric oxide
(25 mg Myrbetriq tablet only).

What is overactive bladder?
Overactive bladder occurs when you cannot control your bladder contractions. When these muscle
contractions happen too often or cannot be controlled, you can get symptoms of overactive bladder,
which are urinary frequency, urinary urgency, and urinary incontinence (leakage).

Marketed and Distributed by:

Astellas Pharma US, Inc.
Northbrook, Illinois 60062

Myrbetriq® is a registered trademark of Astellas Pharma Inc. All other trademarks or registered
trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

©2012 - 2018 Astellas Pharma US, Inc.

Revised: April 2018
206813-MRVS-BRFS
057-2652-PM

LAUGHTER “You’ll know to-
night,” Jim said slyly.
The best Medicine
That evening, Jim
came home with a
small package for
his wife. Emma ripped
open the wrapping
paper, tore into the
box, and pulled out her
gift—a book entitled
The Meaning of Dreams.

—thetrendinsights.com

I describe my hus-
band’s style as “Is that
what you’re wearing?”
— @sixfootcandy

One morning, Emma that you gave me Every year, the Edin-
woke up with a start. a pearl necklace for burgh Festival Fringe
Her husband, Jim, Valentine’s Day,” celebrates the world’s
asked what the matter she said. “What could funniest comics. Here’s
was. “I had a dream it mean?” what had us giggling
in our kilts this year:
✦ “I accidentally
booked myself into
an escapology course.
I’m really struggling
to get out of it.”
—Adele Cliff
✦ “A thesaurus is
great. There’s no other
word for it.”
—Ross Smith
✦ “A cowboy asked
me if I could help him
round up 18 cows.

50 february 2020 Cartoon by Dan Reynolds

Reader’s Digest

I have all of Marie Kondo’s books. Now I’m glad you called,
I just need a way to organize them. because I couldn’t
remember who
—Submitted by Rob Sowby Lehi, Utah asked me.”

I said, ‘Yes, of course. At the end of the —thechattanoogan.com
That’s 20 cows.’ ” night, he asks, “Will
—Jake Lambert you marry me?” Finally getting around
✦ “After learning six to calling all those kids
hours of basic sema- “Yes, yes, I will!” she that wrote in my mid-
phore, I was flagging.” says enthusiastically. dle school yearbook,
—Richard Pulsford “We should hang out
The next morning, this summer!”
—bbc.com the widower wakes up — @Cheeseboy22
troubled. Did she say
A widower and a widow yes or no? Confused, your joke could be
attend their 70th class he calls her and asks, worth $$$. For details,
reunion, and a long- “Did you say yes or no go to rd.com/submit.
ago spark is rekindled. to marrying me?”

“I said yes! And

THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR A THREE-YEAR-OLD SAY

fotosr52/shutterstock ✦ “It doesn’t really look like a ✦ “Don’t hide that square
dragon, but never mind, I’ll millimeter of zucchini behind
eat it anyway—food is the pasta. More! More
food!” green! I’m into micro
sprouts at the moment too.”
✦ “Yep, that’s exactly how
I wanted it done. You’ve ✦ “It doesn’t matter
nailed it. Again.” how we did this yesterday.
Things change!”
✦ “Don’t need it. Already have
three. Let’s just stick to our shopping ✦ “Here’s the remote—I don’t really
list.” know how to use it anyway.”

✦ “For Pete’s sake, Dad. It’s 3:30 in ✦ “I bet I can get in my car seat
the morning. Please, go back to bed— before you can say the words, ‘My
you’re starting a new job, and this is back. I can’t ... straighten ... up ...’”
the one night you really need some
decent sleep.” ✦ “Here’s your phone back.”
—Olivia Appleby on mcsweeneys.net

rd.com 51

Reader’s Digest

LIFE WELL LIVED

You’re Never Too
Old to Learn

At 63, Jerry Valencia was determined to get his
college degree—and his master’s too

By Steve Lopez

from the los angeles times

T he student arrived early, sat stop taking classes that semester and
front and center, and stood out reapply for next year. By then, he
in my classroom in more ways hoped to have earned enough money
than one. I’d say that he had about from construction jobs and have his
40 years on his classmates in my student-loan papers in order. But he
undergraduate communications class said he was still coming to campus to
at California State University, Los An- attend events or see friends. He asked
geles. He eagerly jumped into class demurely whether he could still sit in
discussions, with his self-deprecating on my communications class.
humor and wisdom of experience.
And he was always respectful of the Sure, I said. But he wouldn’t get any
other students’ perspectives, as if each credit.
of them were a teacher. Jerry Valencia
walked in with a smile—and he left No problem, he said.
with one too. Soon there he was again, back at
his old desk, front and center, jump-
“These students gave me the con- ing into our discussions on how to
fidence that I didn’t need to feel bad find and tell stories in Los Angeles—a
about my age,” Valencia says. 63-year-old Cal State LA junior with as
much energy and curiosity as any of
One day, I spotted Valencia on the youngsters in class.
campus. He said he would have to For an assignment on changing

52 february 2020

Jerry Valencia
always loved
to read—“a lot,”
he says.

steve lopez/los angeles times neighborhoods, Valencia wrote about it had taken him 12 years to finish
a favorite local chain restaurant that community college, so he had a long
was “unceremoniously closed.” He way to go.
called it an “earth-shattering” devel-
opment and a theft of childhood. “It Twelve years?
is almost as if someone has stolen that He was in and out of school, he
childhood and replaced it with a slip- said, subject to his work schedule and
pery hill where everything they cher- whether he had money for classes. He
ish will slide away,” he wrote. had earned his associate of arts degree
over the summer, then transferred to
A lot of Valencia’s classmates ap- Cal State LA to start on his bachelor’s.
parently knew he couldn’t afford that I needed to hear more.
semester’s tuition but was still doing
the homework. V alencia lives, for the time be-
ing, in a mobile home park. He
“Here he is, willingly taking a class greeted me when I arrived and
for the joy of it and benefit of learn- poured me a cup of coffee.
ing,” says Jessica Espinosa, a 25-year-
old junior. “You don’t see that in our He told me that his dad had worked
generation.” at a brick-manufacturing plant and in
auto assembly. His mother worked at
Valencia showed up and took the home. Most of his seven brothers and
final exam too. Afterward, students sisters didn’t go to college, and none
were kibitzing, and I overheard Va- finished. Valencia is determined to be
lencia say he wanted to stay in school the first, despite his late start.
until he earned a master’s degree, but

rd.com 53

Reader’s Digest Life Well Lived

He said he was an average student Tovmasian says Valencia was a great

who struggled with math and went to team player in forensics, encouraging

community college a year after gradu- fellow students and inspiring them

ating from high school but decided with his desire to educate himself and

quickly it was not for him. He got live a more fulfilling life.

into construction and then the insur- Valencia’s sister Sindi Majors says

ance industry, but he’d always liked to her brother was always bright, but

write and do crossword puzzles. “And he went through a couple of rough

I loved to read. A lot,” he said. patches in his life.

He also loved watching Jeopardy! “He’s pretty much been home-

with his mother, less,” says Ma-

and he joked jors, a retired

that if one of electrician. She

them ever won bought him a

the lottery or motor home to

if he became a help him out,

Jeopardy! con- and that’s what

testant, he’d use he lived in from

the winnings for 2009 to 2018.

college. There is some-

It was around thing splendidly

2007, Valencia irrational about

said, that he got Valencia in class at Cal State LA Valencia’s deter-

tired of telling mination to get a

himself he was going to go back. He four-year degree and then a master’s.

told his mother it was finally for real. At his current pace, he’ll be 90 when

“When I went back to school, she he finally hangs all that paper on the

said, ‘I hope you make it, Jerry.’ And I wall.

told her, ‘I’m going to make it, Mom. But that doesn’t seem especially

I’m going to make it.’ ” relevant. He’s found all the youthful

The plan was to capitalize on his energy and academic opportunity steve lopez/los angeles times

construction experience and study stimulating.

civil engineering. But he discovered Valencia’s grade in my class this

other interests. semester will not show up on his

“He was not the youngest student,” transcripts. But I’m giving him an A—

says Grant Tovmasian, coach of the and in the most important ways, it

forensics debate team Valencia joined. counts. RD

“But he was the most motivated and los angeles times (december 5, 2018), copyright

the most dedicated.” © 2018 by los angeles times, latimes.com.

54 february 2020

Reader’s Digest

LAUGH LINES

Dear cereal makers, A new study finds
exactly how tall do you think that sausages are often
kitchen cabinet shelves are? linked to other sausages.

— @AnniemuMary — @donni

The quickest way A frittata is
to find out the

time is to order a

—

marinad_37/shutterstock If you’re getting Breakfast My wife was going
serious about Yokes to make pancakes.
Then she wasn’t.
someone, check
what number their Then she was.
toaster is set on, Then she wasn’t.
because that’s what
you’re going to be Then she was.
Now it looks like
living with. she’s just waffling.

— @WilliamAder — @KentWGraham

rd.com 55

Reader’s Digest

YOUR I’d Like to Buy a Vowel
TRUE
STORIES I work in a small community hospital and
often draw blood samples from inpatients.
in 100 Words One evening, while I was preparing to take
blood from an elderly patient, she stated,
Father Knows Best “I can feel it in my bones.” Perplexed, I replied,
“But I haven’t even stuck you yet.” She said
My husband and I took no and motioned to the television. She was
our two boys fishing. simply solving a puzzle on Wheel of Fortune!
My father was against it,
claiming the boys were —Melinda Andre-Echols Berlin, Maryland
too young and hooks
were dangerous. I told Teeth Be with You heavy laughter filled the
him he was being ridicu- room. Dad put his head
lous and assured him My father was a lifelong down on the pulpit and
that we would be careful. pastor. One Sunday laughed until tears came.
At the lake, our oldest son morning, as he was mak- When he recovered, he
cast his line and hooked ing his emphatic closing raised his head and said,
his little brother in the remarks, his false teeth “Dismissed.” The congre-
forehead, with the worm flew out. In one swift gation left, still laughing.
dangling across his nose. move, he swept his hand Dad said later, “It’s nice
“See, Mom?” he cried as across the top of the to know the people were
we carefully removed the pulpit, snagged them out paying attention.”
hook. “You should always of the air, and put them
listen to your parents.” back in his mouth. The —Dale Hardy
—Michele Cable sound of clapping and indianapolis, indiana
east stroudsburg,
pennsylvania

To read more true
stories or submit one,
go to rd.com/stories.
If we publish yours in
the print magazine, it
could be worth $100.

56 february 2020 | rd.com Illustration by Hallie Bateman

Trademarks owned by Société des Produits Nestlé S.A., Vevey, Switzerland.

Yes, Human,
I am talking

to you.

What Pets Want

Science continues to uncover your

58 february 2020

Reader’s Digest

I don’t even
know what “bad

dog” means.

By Krista
Carothers
and Jen
McCaffery

You to Know ...

animal’s most fascinating secrets

rd.com 59

DOGS

I’m just a
big baby.

Cover Story Reader’s Digest

previous spread: christina gandolfo (cat). greg murray (dog). opposite page: greg murray 1 I’m basically a toddler. Before they are six months old, pup-
“The secret to understanding pies should meet 150 people and visit
dog behavior is that the average 50 different places. “It doesn’t have to
dog has a mind that’s equivalent to be Zanzibar,” Coren says. “It can be
that of a human two-to-two-and-a- rooms that are very different, ma-
half-year-old,” Stanley Coren, PhD, a chine shops, parking lots, whatever.”
professor emeritus in the psychology
department at the University of 4I’ll tell you when I’m lonely.
British Columbia, told Psychology Alert pet owners know that the
Today. On average, dogs compre- pitch, duration, and frequency of
hend about 165 words, so they can their dog’s bark differ depending on
follow a bit more than just “walk” the circumstances, and researchers
and “treat.” They’re also most likely are learning what some of that nu-
to learn words associated with ance among vocalizations means. For
objects or activities, as opposed to example, dogs bark differently when
words associated with emotions, they’re encountering a stranger than
such as “Good doggy!” when they’re hungry or want com-
pany. Two to four high-pitched barks
2 But there are a few top dogs. mean a dog senses a threat and is
“Superdogs”—those in the alerting the pack to potential danger,
top 20 percent of the intelli- Coren says. But a long string of single
gence spectrum—are a little closer barks with pauses in between? That
to human three-year-olds, and they probably means your dog is lonely.
can understand more than 250 words.
“Every now and then, you get a 5 I also use my own sign
Mozart or Dickens of dogs who can language. Dogs do talk to
understand 1,000 words,” Coren says. you through barks and whines,
Psychologist John Pilley’s border
collie, Chaser, showed knowledge but don’t ignore their more physical
of the names of 1,022 objects, ac- communication, such as when
cording to a study Pilley published in Spot paws at the bottom of the sofa
Behavioural Processes in 2011. “But to indicate that his ball is hidden
John worked with her four hours a underneath. “Dogs are excellent at
day, like Mozart’s dad,” says Coren. adapting their body language to
provide us clues about how they feel
3 I need to get out in the world. and what they want,” says Monique
Young dogs that don’t meet A. R. Udell, PhD, an assistant profes-
people or other dogs tend to sor in the department of animal and
grow up fearful and aggressive. rangeland sciences at Oregon State
University.

rd.com | february 2020 61

Reader’s Digest

6 You might be transferring frustrated, veterinarian Stephanie
your stress to me. “Tension Liff told petmd.com. Once the
flows down the leash,” Coren stressor is removed, the dog will
likely stop his odd behavior.
says. “If you’re tense and upset, your
dog will start to act tense and upset 9 I don’t feel guilty—ever.
too.” He recounts a story of a woman Like their intelligence, dogs’
who didn’t understand why her dog emotional maturity is similar
had started acting aggressive. When to that of toddlers. “The average
Coren found out she was troubled over two-to-three-year-old has all the
a recent breakup with a boyfriend, he basic emotions, like joy and sadness
suggested that she focus on getting and fear and anger and disgust and
lots of exercise and socialization with surprise,” Coren says. “But they don’t
her dog to help dissipate any tension have complex social emotions like
she might be passing along to her pet. guilt, shame, and pride.” When you
come home to find that your dog has
7 Your nervousness might made a mess and she tucks her tail
set me up for a fight too. and looks ashamed, she’s really just
When an insecure dog owner afraid of your anger. She’s smart
enough to associate the mess with
approaches an unfamiliar dog, the your being upset, but guilt isn’t part
owner might pull back on the leash, of her repertoire.
causing the dog’s front legs to leave
the ground. This stance is threaten- 10 But I do get jealous.
ing to other dogs, which is why many Did your dog snap at you
react with hostility. Over time, an when you petted another
overly restrained dog will come to pooch at the park? He could be jeal-
expect these reactions from the dogs ous. Researchers compared how dogs
she meets, and she’ll approach them reacted when their owners were pay-
with aggression herself. ing attention either to a stuffed dog or
to another inanimate object such as a
8 I can be compulsive. Dogs pail or a book. Nearly three quarters of
chase their tails for lots of the dogs exhibited jealous behavior
reasons: They’re itchy or have about the fake canine, but only 42 per-
bowel irritation, they are indulging cent and 22 percent reacted badly to
their predatory nature, or they’re just the pail and book, respectively. Scien-
bored, according to Canine Journal. tists suspect that canine jealousy dates
In certain cases, though, tail chasing back to the days when dogs competed
can be a sign of canine compulsive for food and other resources.
disorder. The condition can develop
when a dog is frequently stressed or

62 february 2020

Dogs | Cover Story

I may have a
mood disorder.

christina gandolfo 11I may have a mood disorder. 13 I dream bigger if I’m a
Eight percent of dog owners large dog. Little dogs have
and 6 percent of cat owners shorter, more frequent
have given their pets medicine for
anxiety and other mood disorders, dreams than big dogs. You can see it
according to a study by the market happening if you watch dogs sleep:
research firm Packaged Facts. The “When they start to dream, their
FDA has approved pet variations breathing becomes irregular and you
of human medicines for separation can see their eyes moving back and
anxiety, noise aversion, and cogni- forth under their closed lids,” Coren
tive dysfunction, the Washington says. A pug might have five or six
Post reports. one-minute dreams every 90 min-
utes, but a Saint Bernard is more
12 My hearing may be worse likely to have a four-minute dream
if I have light-colored fur. every 45 minutes. Researchers know
Dogs that have predomi- because they can scan dogs’ brains
just as they can ours.
nantly white coats have a higher
chance of being born deaf in at least 14I can detect cancer. Several
studies have shown that dogs
can detect whether a person
has certain types of cancer, including
breast, colorectal, lung, ovarian,
prostate, and skin cancer. How? By
sniffing a person’s breath, urine, or
blood. Given a dog’s acute sense of
smell, scientists think canines can
pick up on volatile organic com-
pounds that cancer cells give off. Un-
fortunately, dogs have not proved to
be reliable diagnosticians; they get
bored and lose interest in sniffing
samples after a short while.

rd.com 63

Reader’s Digest

I don’t like
being ignored.

CATS

15 I’m not sure whether 16 I like spending time with christina gandolfo
you’re a cat or a human. you. They don’t always
While dogs play with hu- show it, but cats like us—

mans differently than they do with they really, really like us. “Cats can
fellow canines, cats don’t adjust be incredibly social,” Udell says.
their social behavior much for us. “In fact, in recent tests of cat prefer-
“Putting their tails up in the air, ences, the majority of pet and shelter
rubbing around our legs, and sitting cats preferred human interaction
beside us and grooming us are ex- over toys, food, and even catnip.”
actly what cats do to each other,”
John Bradshaw, a University of Bristol 17 And I don’t like being
anthrozoologist and the author of ignored. “Cats will more fre-
Cat Sense: How the New Feline Sci- quently approach and play
ence Can Make You a Better Friend
to Your Pet, told National Geographic. with a person who is attentive to them
compared to a person who is ignoring

64 february 2020

Cats | Cover Story

them,” says Kristyn Vitale, PhD, a re- as well. “It calms us and pleases us,
searcher in the Human-Animal Inter- like watching waves against a beach,”
action Lab at Oregon State University. Dr. Weitzman told the BBC. “We
Then again, she says, sometimes cats respond to a cat’s purr as a calming
want to be left alone. Vitale says if a stimulus and may have even geneti-
cat is showing signs of aggression (di- cally selected cats with more propen-
lated pupils, a fast-twitching tail, fur sity to purr.”
standing on end, hissing, or growl-
ing), just walk away. “It’s better to 21 I care what you think.
end the interaction before an inci- For a study in Animal
dent occurs that may lead to a strain Cognition in 2015, research-
in the relationship,” she says. ers set up an unfamiliar and slightly
scary scenario (if you are a cat)—an
18 Yes, I’m talking to you. electric fan with ribbons attached.
Bradshaw says the feral cats When cats entered the room with
he’s studied rarely meow. their owners, 79 percent looked back
Domesticated cats, on the other and forth between their person and
hand, meow all the time—to get the the fan, indicating that they were
attention of humans. trying to see whether the human was
afraid. Half the owners were told to
19 Purring doesn’t always act confident and approach the fan,
mean I’m happy. Cats also and the other half were told to act
purr if they’re sick or in- nervous and move away from it. The
cats whose people seemed scared
jured. They’re essentially saying they were significantly more likely to
need your help or want you to stay direct their gaze to the room’s exit.
nearby for comfort. Another theory
is that the action of purring is physi- 22 But I still might treat
cally healing for cats. Gary Weitz- you as if you’re not
man, a veterinarian and CEO of the there. Japanese research-
San Diego Humane Society, told
the BBC that the frequency of a cat’s ers found in a recent study that
purr is similar to the frequencies cats recognize their own names. Re-
of vibrations associated with bone gardless of who was speaking, most
and tissue healing. cats reacted in the same way, moving
their heads or perking up their ears
20 My purring might help when their names were spoken, the
you too. The frequencies researchers wrote. So if Fluffy isn’t
of a cat’s purr may confer coming when you call? Yup, she’s
probably just ignoring you.
health benefits on nearby humans

rd.com 65

Reader’s Digest

23 I hold a grudge. Your
feline friend not only
remembers the sound of
the can opener and the jingle of his
favorite toy; he also remembers who
sprayed him with a water pistol to get
him off the dinner table. “Cats don’t
forgive, and once they realize
a person is causing them anxiety or
hurt, they keep away,” Bradshaw says.

24 I’m not trying to make I’m not as good sonsedska yuliia/shutterstock
you mad. Cats are stretch- a poker player as
ing, flexing, removing dead
you think.
cells from their claws, and marking
territory when they scratch furniture, environment in which they grow
according to the Humane Society. up, an owner’s personality can rub
There is also a reason behind their off on a cat. One study found that
spraying—unlike us, they find the cats with neurotic owners were
scent comforting, and they spray to more prone to exhibit stress, fear,
feel more secure in a stressful situa- and even aggressiveness.
tion. “Cats are control freaks,” Cathy
Lund, a feline-only veterinarian in 27 In fact, you often train
Providence, Rhode Island, told petmd me, whether you know it
.com. “They like to feel in charge.” or not. Many people think

25 I learn for life. Once cats of cats as independent-minded, but
master an essential skill you do reinforce their behavior, says
such as hunting, they Sarah Ellis, coauthor of The Train-
remember it, according to Animal able Cat. For instance, your cat is
Planet. Even after they’ve spent years smart enough to know that you don’t
indoors eating commercial food, want her walking on the kitchen
cats who learned to kill as kittens counter, but she likes the attention
can still hunt down their own dinner she gets when you run and snatch
if the need arises.

26 Your nurturing affects
my nature. Just as kids
can be influenced by the

66 february 2020

Cats | Cover Story

her off every time. Ellis says you your kitty with a place to perch,
can use treats to teach Kitty to come since cats appreciate high places
when called, giving you a positive and autonomy.
means to lure her away.
31I can live with a dog—
28 Confined spaces make sometimes. Research
me feel safe. That’s has shown that you’ll be
why cats climb right into
more successful introducing a dog
those shoeboxes and suitcases. Dutch to a home where a cat already lives
researchers who studied 19 newly ar- as opposed to vice versa, according
rived shelter cats found that the ones to Dr. Warren. But do it gradually.
who were allowed to hide in boxes ex- Let them become aware of each
hibited significantly less stress than other first through a closed door,
the cats who didn’t have a hidey-hole. so they get used to each other’s
scent. Then provide your cat a safe
29 I’m not as good a poker haven—a place the dog can’t enter.
player as you think.
Cats do express their 32 I dream when I’m deep
in slumber. About a
emotions on their faces, according quarter of most cats’
to a 2017 study in Behavioural Pro-
cesses. Researchers made short video shut-eye, Catster says, is spent in
clips at a Canadian shelter to track deep sleep—when they’re curled
and code cats’ facial expressions. up with their eyes closed all the way.
They determined that blinking and A landmark study in the 1950s sug-
half blinking are associated with fear. gested that cats may dream about
Cats show frustration by hissing, stalking prey and getting into fights.
raising their upper lips, licking and
wrinkling their noses, and showing 33 My meows change as
their tongues. And when they’re I age. Cats may become
relaxed, they often gaze to the right. increasingly vocal as they

30 I don’t like to share. get older. Why? Age-related demen-
Sharing food or water tia and failing eyesight are two
bowls or a litter box can potential explanations, John Wright,
make cats anxious, according to PhD, a certified applied animal
veterinarian Katrina Warren. If you behaviorist at Mercer University,
have multiple cats, maintain separate told humanesociety.org. An anxious
dishes and litter boxes for each. Does cat may vocalize more, and a feline
your cat still seem anxious? Provide who’s losing his hearing may also
meow louder.

rd.com 67

I really can be that more than half of the fish
a clown fish. owners in an online survey for
his website, Quirkology, said their
fish had a good sense of humor.
In fact, the survey revealed that fish
appreciate humor more than cats,
horses, and birds—but not as much
as dogs do.

FISH PARROTS noheaphotos/shutterstock

34 I can recognize humans. 36 I mimic humans well
Archerfish hunt by shoot- because I’m good at
ing a stream of water copying other parrots.
at insects. Researchers have taken
advantage of this special skill to In the wild, parrots live in large,
test their ability to recognize hu- cohesive groups and squawk con-
man faces. The fish were taught that stantly, updating one another on
when they shot water at an image where the best seeds are and which
of a specific face on a computer direction to search next for food.
screen, they would receive a snack. Timothy F. Wright, coauthor of
When scientists later showed the Parrots of the Wild: A Natural History
fish a variety of faces on the screen, of the World’s Most Captivating Birds,
they shot water only at the one that told the New York Times that it’s
had previously resulted in food. rare for wild parrots to mimic sounds
made by other species. But in captiv-
35 I really can be a clown ity, they’ll mimic barking dogs, car
fish. Psychologist Richard alarms, and human speech in an
Wiseman, PhD, reports attempt to bond with their human
flock.

HORSES

37 I can gauge your mood.
A study in Biology Letters
showed that horses can
tell the difference between happy
and angry human expressions.
When they looked at photographs
of people making negative faces,

68 february 2020

Other Pets | Cover Story

africa studio/shutterstock their heart rates climbed and HAMSTERS
they turned their heads to allow
themselves to focus with their left 39 I can learn to take risks.
eye. Researchers think this “left-eye A 2015 experiment found
gaze” happens because the right that hamsters whose cages
hemisphere of the brain is better had received fancy upgrades (extra
at processing negative emotions. bedding, chew toys, a tent) were more
Horses are not alone in this skill: inclined to take a risk: drinking from
A 2016 study found that dogs could a new water dispenser when they
tell from photos of human facial didn’t know whether it contained a
expressions and recordings of voices sweet or a bitter liquid. Hamsters
whether the person in question whose upgrades were replaced with
was happy or mad. (They can read cardboard tubes and squeaky wheels,
the faces and vocalizations of other on the other hand, were less likely to
dogs too.) go for it—seemingly figuring that they
couldn’t expect nice things in life.
38 And I remember you
were mad the last time Sometimes
I saw you. In another I’ll risk it.

study, several hours after horses sources: the new york times, the washington post,
were shown photographs of people national geographic, new scientist, bbc, animal
with happy or angry expressions, planet, thecut.com, horse and hound, catster
those same people visited the
horses in person, wearing neutral
faces. If a horse had previously
seen an angry-looking photo of that
person, it exhibited a left-gaze bias
and showed other signs of stress,
including scratching the floor.
But horses visited by people who
were happy in the photos weren’t
stressed at all.

Beware of Richie Rich

If you want to know what it’s like to owe a loan shark,
borrow $5 from a ten-year-old.

@sladewentworth

rd.com 69

70 february 2020

Kodak 0334-2 NATIONAL INTEREST

My wife was having an asthma
attack, so she took herself to
the emergency room. Why was she left
to die just outside the hospital doors?

Losing

Laura

By Peter DeMarco

from boston globe magazine

In November 2017, we published an article called
“Thank You for Caring So Much,” a man’s letter of
appreciation to the hospital workers who tried to
save his wife from a devastating asthma attack. But
it turns out there was much more to the story than
he knew at the time.

rd.com 71

Reader’s Digest

L aura Levis, the love of my life, in pockets, in purses, in gym bags. previous spread: courtesy peter demarco
died on September 22, 2016. She On rare occasions, when an attack
was just 34.
I was told that Laura never made intensified, I would drive Laura to
it to the emergency room. That she Mount Auburn Hospital in Cambridge,
collapsed on a street leading to CHA where she would be given prednisone,
Somerville Hospital in Somerville, a nebulizer treatment, or both. We al-
Massachusetts, or possibly in a park- ways arrived in plenty of time.
ing lot on the outskirts of the prop-
erty. My wife had called 911 just after But I wasn’t with my wife that
4 a.m., before she lost consciousness. September day. And the reason for
She wasn’t able to give her exact lo- that, I’ll have to live with forever. At
cation, they told me, so it took emer- the time Laura collapsed, we were
gency responders a long time to find spending some time apart. We were
her. “She was in the last place they seeing a couples counselor and had
looked,” someone said. Even though been in daily contact with each other.
that place was heartbreakingly close. We had dinner plans the day she col-
lapsed and were going apple picking
Some ten minutes passed between that weekend, but we had slept apart
the time Laura called 911 and the time the night before. She’d stayed, as fate
she was found, in cardiac arrest fol- would have it, in an apartment just a
lowing an asthma attack. Those ten few blocks from Somerville Hospital.
minutes meant her life.
I blamed myself for not being with
People, of course, die from asthma, her when the attack struck, for not be-
a disease that affects 19 million adults ing able to help my wife in that mo-
and 6 million children in the United ment. I asked God, Why? Why? Why?
States. According to the Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention, more One day I would receive an answer.
than 3,500 succumb to attacks each
year, though in Laura’s age-group the S omerville Hospital sits on a
death rate is less than 1 in 10,000 asth- hill, with its emergency room
matics. It’s especially rare in those as at the very top. Dressed in pur-
healthy and active as she was. ple sneakers, jeans, and her favorite
hoodie from a Spartan Race we ran
Laura worked out six days a week together, Laura began walking up the
and competed in powerlifting compe- hill that morning in the midst of her
titions, where she could bench-press attack. It’s about a 375-foot walk up
more than she weighed. Her asthma Tower Street. Surveillance cameras
never impeded her. Laura was vigilant first caught sight of her at 4:21 a.m.
about carrying inhalers. Boxing up her
clothes, I found more than 20 of them, When Laura arrived at the hospi-
tal, she found a semicircular drive-
way and two entrances about 100 feet

72 february 2020

National Interest

apart. Between them were four waiting instructions. In the video, Laura turns
benches, each with a flat stone top. and begins walking toward the main
entrance. She didn’t make it there.
Signs pointing to the emergency
room had led Laura up the hill, but She walked past the first two waiting
inexplicably, neither entrance was benches. But when Laura reached the
adorned with an illuminated emer- third bench, just 29 feet from the main
gency room sign. With no clear in- entrance, she sat down. The attack had
dication of where to go, Laura had to become so intense, she could not walk
choose one door or the other. those extra 29 feet. But she could still
think clearly: She called 911.
SHE PUT BOTH HANDS
ON THE DOOR AND Her voice on the phone with the
dispatcher is filled with fear.
PEERED INSIDE. THERE
WAS NO ONE IN SIGHT. “I’m at Somerville Hospital” were
Laura’s first words. “I’m having an
On the surveillance video, she asthma attack. I’m dying.”
pauses, then chooses the entrance on
the right. As she approached it, she “Whereabouts are you at the hospi-
could see an emergency room waiting tal?” asks the 911 operator.
area through plate glass windows. She
stepped in front of the automatic door, “Emergency room,” Laura responds.
but it did not open. Surprised, she put “I can’t get in.”
both hands on the door and peered
inside. But there was no one in sight. In just 41 seconds, she managed to
relate seemingly everything the opera-
Panic can accelerate an asthma tor needed to know. Laura said she was
attack by causing airway muscles to having an asthma attack, one so severe
tighten, constricting airflow even fur- that she felt she was going to die; she
ther. Finding the door locked, Laura said she was at Somerville Hospital,
almost certainly panicked. outside the emergency room, and
couldn’t get in. Laura was an amazing
Maybe that is why she didn’t com- communicator—a journalist—and,
prehend the instructions posted on with her life on the line, she didn’t
the door, explaining that it was for waste a single word. If only she had
ambulance access only. To enter the been talking to the right person.
emergency room, patients needed to
use the main entrance—the door to Laura’s cell phone call was routed to
the left. The door she had not chosen. a regional 911 operator. The operator,
sitting in a Massachusetts State Po-
Or perhaps she did notice those lice operations center some 18 miles
away, was merely a call screener
who couldn’t send help. When
Laura finished speaking, the opera-
tor told her to stay on the line as she

rd.com 73

Reader’s Digest

A Frantic Hunt for Help

Laura Levis spent her last conscious moments trying to get into Somerville Hospital.

Main Bench where
entrance Laura collapses

Ambulance
entrance

Crown Street First security Highland Avenue
john yuncamera
CHA Somerville appearance
Hospital

Tower Street

4:21:00 A.M. Laura first appears on hospital security cameras, then walks to the
ambulance entrance but finds it locked.

4:23:59 A.M. Laura attempts to walk to the main entrance, 100 feet away. Unable to
make it, she sits down on a bench and calls 911.

4:25:36 A.M. Slumping on the bench, Laura speaks her last words: “I’m outside.”
4:28:47 A.M. The police dispatcher reaches an ER nurse, who walks out the ambulance

entrance and spends 12 seconds looking for Laura but doesn’t see her.
4:33:54 A.M. Firefighters find Laura and begin CPR.

connected Laura to the local police. Hospital,” said the regional operator,
When the police picked up, a new jumping in. “She’s having an asthma
attack. She can’t get into the hospital.”
operator asked her to explain all
over again what her emergency was. It should have been so easy for the
But by then, she could barely speak. two operators to locate Laura, since
both had her cell number. A satellite
“She’s outside of the Somerville

74 february 2020

National Interest

ping of her GPS coordinates provided that she twice said she was dying. But
by her carrier would make Laura a dig- that operator had already hung up.
ital dot on their computer-screen street
maps. But, as can be the case with cell In the 911 tape, you hear Laura’s
phone 911 calls, her location on their voice again. “I’m outside,” she starts to
screens was wrong. say, before struggling to make another
sound. It is 4:25 a.m. and 36 seconds.
When you use an app involving
your location, your phone constantly It is the last time Laura speaks.
transmits where you are, like a homing It was the moment her life hinged
beacon. But when you make a 911 call, upon. Within a minute or so, her heart
that doesn’t happen. Instead, a satellite would stop beating, and oxygen would
must be pinged, and that information stop going to her brain.
is integrated with other bits of data to On the surveillance video, about
trace where you’re calling from, a more 30 seconds later, Laura slumps on
complex and often inexact process. the stone bench, her arms falling to
her sides. A glowing object, her cell
Laura’s ping registered at 68 Tower phone, falls to the ground.
Street, a street corner some 200 feet And then ... stillness.

IT’S POSSIBLE I T’S UNCLEAR how long it takes
LAURA’S HEART KEPT your brain to die without oxygen,
BEATING AFTER SHE though there are some estimates
LOST CONSCIOUSNESS. based on medical research. After three
minutes or less, you might fully re-
from the hospital’s front door. Somer- cover. Between three and six minutes,
ville’s police dispatcher asked Laura to your chances drop—but still, recovery
clarify where she was. “Ma’am, where can be possible. Beyond six minutes,
are you located there? You’re the one— there’s little chance your brain won’t
you’re at 230 Highland Avenue, right?” be severely damaged, with death a
much more likely outcome.
That’s the hospital’s official mailing
address, on a completely different side Laura’s countdown probably began
of the building. But it was the only ad- a few seconds after 4:26 a.m., although
dress the dispatcher had. it’s possible her heart kept beating for
another minute after she lost con-
It would have been the perfect mo- sciousness, according to asthma ex-
ment for the original 911 operator to perts. Every second was vital. Yet so
have relayed more information, such many would be wasted.
as the fact that Laura twice said she
was outside the emergency room, or After realizing Laura couldn’t speak
anymore, the Somerville police dis-
patcher told her to hold while she

rd.com 75

Reader’s Digest

called an ambulance. That took more
than a minute—a minute that Laura
would never get back.

The police next called the Somer-
ville Fire Department, which has a
station just 1,000 feet from the hospi-
tal. But the police dispatcher merely
related that Laura “must be on Tower
side,” failing to say that her cell phone
pinged at 68 Tower Street, at the top
of the hill, or that she was outside the
emergency room. Without those de-
tails, the fire department’s dispatcher
had to guess where Laura was.

Following a hunch, he sent his crew
to the other side of the hospital, where

NURSE X TOOK ONE
STEP OUTSIDE TO
LOOK FOR LAURA.

an entrance to some doctors’ offices is whom I’ll call Nurse X, answered. courtesy peter demarco
locked overnight: “Attention Engine 7. “Hi, it’s Somerville Police. Are your
Respond to the Somerville Hospital,
230 Highland Avenue ... We believe this doors locked, by any chance?” said
is possibly on the Medical Arts Build- the dispatcher.
ing side.”
“No. Why?” responded Nurse X.
Somerville Hospital is the last to be “Because there’s a female who’s
reached by phone. There is no direct having an asthma attack ... She’s ping-
line to the emergency room, appar- ing off Tower Street, and she’s saying
ently, even for police, so a night recep- the emergency room is closed. So
tionist had to patch the call through. I don’t know where she is,” the dis-
The transfer took about 30 seconds— patcher continued.
more time wasted. “I’ll go look,” said Nurse X.
Hanging up, she walked to the
Finally, nearly two minutes after ambulance-access door, which she
Laura had lost consciousness, a phone found locked, and opened it. On the
in the emergency room rang. A nurse, surveillance video, you see Nurse X

76 february 2020

National Interest

Kodak 0334-2

Today, bright lights and signage clearly show where the emergency room is located.

take one step outside, craning her them about Laura. Instead, she calls
neck as she peers into the predawn the Somerville Police back.
darkness. Laura was just about
70 feet from her. But the bench where “I looked outside up here, but I
Laura collapsed is not well lighted, so didn’t see anything,” she told the dis-
Nurse X does not spot her. She hovers patcher. She offered to call Laura’s cell
at the door for 12 seconds, going no phone. Seconds later, on the surveil-
farther, before returning inside. lance video, you see Laura’s phone
light up on the ground. But she cannot
It would have been easy for hospital answer it, and it goes dark.
security to have seen Laura on camera,
but the desk had been left unattended, Failing to find Laura at the doctors’
as both officers on duty were needed office doors, Engine 7’s crew headed
for patient watches inside the emer- up the hill on foot. Firefighter David
gency room. Nurse X sees those offi- Farino was the first to spot Laura,
cers when she returns but does not tell rushing to her and ripping her hoodie
in two to start CPR. But he was too late.

rd.com 77

Reader’s Digest

Farino had taken only three min- the Somerville Police to ask whether
utes to walk up Tower Street. But those there was a police report that could
three minutes pushed the time Laura help explain what happened.
had gone without oxygen to her brain
to upward of seven minutes, and while I’d been told that there would be
a heart can be restarted at that point, no report, as officers didn’t write up
as hers was, people rarely survive. medical calls. But Detective Michael
Perrone and his fellow officers were
Laura was at last brought inside the so deeply moved by Laura’s death that
emergency room some 15 minutes they broke protocol. They interviewed
after she’d called 911. It wasn’t until the firefighters who had found Laura
and one of the guards on duty that
“PETE,” SAID MY night and viewed surveillance foot-
FATHER-IN-LAW, age from the hospital’s cameras, de-
“THEY KILLED LAURA.” scribing all they observed in writing,
in case that footage was ever erased.
hours later, at 7:15 a.m., that someone
from the hospital called me and told Uncle Bob shared the report with
me that Laura had collapsed. When I Laura’s dad, Dr. William Levis, a for-
got there, no one could tell me a whole mer officer with the U.S. Public Health
lot more. The night shift that had re- Service. I will never forget my father-
started Laura’s heart and put her on in-law’s voice cracking apart when he
life support was no longer on duty. called me. “Pete, I have the most ter-
rible thing to tell you,” he said. “They
We spent seven days in the ICU at killed Laura.”
CHA Cambridge Hospital, Somerville’s
sister hospital. During all that time, I T hrough numerous letters
barely left my wife’s bedside. No one and phone calls, I obtained the
mentioned anything to me about grainy, horrible surveillance
Laura making it to the doorstep of video showing Laura outside the hos-
Somerville’s emergency room. Even a pital. I obtained from the state police
month later, after the New York Times the shattering recording of Laura’s 911
published my thank-you letter, no one call. I sought out every document I
had said a word to me about Laura be- could find: police and fire reports, am-
ing outside that door. And maybe they bulance reports, state investigators’
never would have. reports, field notes from hospital in-
spections, and internal hospital docu-
But the circumstances surrounding ments, which I requested through the
Laura’s death deeply bothered her Freedom of Information Act. And I
uncle, Robert Levis. Uncle Bob called spoke with lawyers at the largest med-
ical malpractice firm in Boston.

78 february 2020

National Interest

courtesy peter demarco

Kodak 0334-2
Laura’s asthma never slowed her down. She carried inhalers with her everywhere.

Suing Somerville Hospital would Human Services accused Somerville
not give Laura the chance to live her Hospital of violating federal law by
life, to be a mother, to grow old with denying Laura access to emergency
me. Still, if its owner, Cambridge care. Officials agreed to pay $90,000
Health Alliance, was made to pay mil- to the government in a settlement.
lions in damages, it would potentially
send a message to hospitals across the But my hope of making the hos-
country to reevaluate their emergency pital pay went no further than that.
room procedures. By making the hos- In Massachusetts, a law protects
pital pay, I thought, maybe Laura’s public hospitals from being sued for
death would stand for something. more than $100,000 and indemni-
fies their employees, even in cases of
The Massachusetts Department of wrongful death. Without the cap, we’d
Public Health turned up more patient- likely be looking at a multimillion-
safety violations at Somerville Hospi- dollar verdict, assuming we won.
tal, citing it for failing to provide a safe With the cap, Laura’s death, in the eyes
environment and for “poor quality of of the law, hardly seemed to matter.
pre-hospital care.”
But how could her death not mat-
The U.S. Department of Health and ter? How could I go on living if Laura’s

rd.com 79

Reader’s Digest

tragedy changed nothing? And so I in which callers will be able to send
began writing her story. text messages, photos, and video to
help emergency responders locate
T he Federal Communications them and assess their crises. With such
Commission estimates that a system, Laura conceivably could
10,000 lives could be saved an- have sent a photo of the ambulance-
nually if emergency responders could access door to her 911 operator, who in
get to 911 callers just one minute turn could have texted it to Engine 7’s
faster, and that figure could be vastly crews, or even to Nurse X.
conservative. What can be done to
save those lives, to make sure that no Thanks to software upgrades, An-
one else dies the way Laura did? droid and Apple phones can now
automatically relay a 911 caller’s co-
There are a number of possible ordinates to the operator. The location
solutions. readings can still be off by hundreds
of feet, but they are more frequently
For one, I hope that regional 911 leading responders to almost the exact
call centers become a thing of the
past. Had Laura’s call gone directly to MEDICAL ERRORS ARE
the Somerville Police Department, I THE THIRD-LEADING
am convinced that a local dispatcher, CAUSE OF DEATH IN
familiar with the hospital, would
have asked Laura whether she was at THE COUNTRY.
the top or bottom of that hill. It isn’t
just my view—911 calls misrouted to location. Far more needs to be done
wrong call centers are a national issue. by mobile service providers and reg-
ulators to improve the system, but at
Millions of 911 cell phone calls reg- least some progress is being made.
ister inaccurate locations each year,
because of tree interference, poor at- Medical errors have become the
mospheric conditions, and other chal- country’s third-leading cause of death,
lenges, per the National Emergency resulting in as many as 250,000 deaths
Number Association. Locations are per year, according to a study by Johns
so often wrong that, according to one Hopkins University School of Medi-
survey, 82 percent of 911 operators cine. Another study estimates the
doubt the location information they number could be as high as 440,000.
receive. Incredibly, Laura’s location
would have been considered “accu- In Laura’s case, something as sim-
rate” according to FCC standards, even ple as requiring two people to conduct
though it led first responders astray. a search—a second set of eyes—could
have made the difference. Doctors
A push is underway for states to
adopt the Next Generation 911 system,

80 february 2020

National Interest

and nurses can reduce common- of Somerville Hospital, the entrance
place errors simply by reminding that Laura found locked is the main
themselves never to skip a single step public doorway to the emergency
in whatever they’re doing—such as room. There’s a large illuminated
walking 100 feet between two doors, “Emergency” sign above it, as well as
just to make sure no one is there. several additional signs on the prop-
erty pointing patients to use that en-
The same goes for those with medi- trance, which is never locked. The
cal conditions, particularly serious bench where Laura collapsed is now
ones such as asthma. Laura did not bathed in bright light at night, and se-
miscalculate that morning, but she curity cameras are always monitored.
should have been more careful. She
should have told someone she was Peter DeMarco continues to advo-
having an attack and should never have cate for change, pushing 911 adminis-
walked alone to the hospital. It is a trators to retrain operators and filing
message I pray everyone who reads this legislation—“Laura’s Law”—to cre-
will pass along to the people in their ate standards for hospitals requiring
lives who have asthma. A message that signage, lighting, and the monitoring
Sumita Khatri, MD, an asthma expert of doors. Through the Asthma and Al-
and codirector of the Cleveland Clinic lergy Foundation of America, he has
Asthma Center, stressed to me when sought to bring attention to Asthma
explaining just how quickly asthma can Peak Week, when common triggers are
turn fatal: If an attack strikes when you at their highest levels. It strikes the third
are alone, let someone know. week in September—the week Laura
had her attack. And he established the
Because even if you reach the door Lift4Laura Foundation (lift4laura.org)
of a hospital, you might not get in. to fund personal gym training sessions
for underprivileged and abused women
After the full version of this story ap- in his wife’s memory. RD
peared on bostonglobe.com, hospital
leaders apologized and acknowledged copyright boston globe (november 3, 2018),
that mistakes had cost Laura her life. copyright © by peter demarco. to read the original
story, visit bostonglobe.com/magazine; follow
Today, when you approach the front @peterdemarco on twitter.

Over the Limit

The world’s first speeding ticket was written in 1896 in the village
of Paddock Wood, England. The violator was caught driving eight mph

through a two-mph zone and fined 10 shillings.

guinness world records

rd.com 81

Reader’s Digest shutterstock (2)

KINDNESS

PASS IT ON!

82 february 2020

INSPIRATION

A POIGNANT TWITTER CONVERSATION
REVEALS THE POWER OF

RANDOM ACTS OF DECENCY

stylist: mae lander. dg-studio/shutterstock (airline ticket) A s she walked onto the packed a pair of yoga pants to change into. “I
airplane holding her tiny infant— firmly believe that she will go to heaven
you know, the kind that cries for no matter what she may do in the rest of
entire flights—Nicole Cliffe must have her life,” Cliffe wrote.
known she was a candidate for least
popular passenger. And that was before Bitten by the kindness bug, Cliffe
her baby got sick and vomited all over tweeted her story and asked others to
her pants and seat cushion. “They had to share their own tales of exceptional and
BRING THE PLANE BACK to replace the seat unexpected kindness on her Twitter
and seat belt, and everyone hated me,” feed. Those appreciations, in turn,
she later tweeted. But a simple act of inspired others to respond with more
compassion soon saved the day, and personal stories, as well as with simple
then some. A flight attendant not only notes of support and gratitude. The
spelled Cliffe by holding and comforting result is a wonderful dialogue for our
her baby but also lent the frazzled mom times—a corrective to the idea that
our digital conversations are inevitably
Photographs by Matthew Cohen tarnished by raised and angry voices.
In this story, niceness wins.

I was grocery shopping with my
three-year-old and he really wanted
some gummy treats. I explained to
my son that we couldn’t afford it
because Daddy lost his job. A man
came up and said “You dropped
this” and handed me a $50 bill.

— @Tiana_Smith

I’m inspired to be more like this
man. Thank you.
— @rukiddingmelolz

rd.com 83

Reader’s Digest I’ll always remember the
woman who gave me tissues
I had my first panic attack in the when I was crying on the train.
bathroom at Sea-Tac airport. A I was trying so hard to keep it
woman asked if I needed anything. together. Everyone else looked
I jokingly replied, “A Xanax.” She away but her. She handed me the
said OK. She left and came back tissues and said, “We’ve all been
with two Xanax and a banana. She there, crying on the train. It
then gave me her business class sucks.” As she was getting off,
seat, while taking my economy she added, “Whatever’s wrong, it
seat. I cry when I think about her. will get better. That doesn’t mean
— @Kaytease_24 anything right now, of course.
But it really will.” She was this
I was eight years old and at a regular business-casual lady, but
public pool when some boys be- she was a hero to me. Also! She
gan making fun of me for being fat. inspired me to always carry a
As I walked away crying, this gor- little pack of tissues in case I see
geous college-age woman sprung someone crying.
to my defense and got them kicked — @danielleiat
out. She then had me hang out
with her gorgeous friends. They
were so sweet—sharing their Tab
and their trashy magazines. They
even painted my nails blue. Best
of all, they told me I was pretty.
— @madamradams

I LOVE THEM.
— @librarianjess

A repeat customer at Best Buy
found out that we both had
Crohn’s disease. He knew I’d been
very sick and that my health care
hadn’t kicked in yet and that I
didn’t have a regular doctor. He
sent me to his doctor and gave me
$300 to pay for both the visit and
the medicine I would need.
— @thedoorgal

84 february 2020

Why I always carry a spare Inspiration
(CLEAN!) handkerchief!
LINE FORMS BEHIND HER. Every
— @sesmith customer in that store knows
that call, knows that feeling, and
I spent most of this past every person takes a turn talking
summer crying on the train to that man. That story comforts
to/from work after my dad un- me so much to this day.
expectedly died. Even though — @TweetChizone
you’re alone on a train, it’s such
a weirdly vulnerable place to All of these stories are amazing,
cry ... and now I’m crying on but this made me sob and call
the train thinking about this my mother.
again and your kind stranger. — @jenneraustin
— @IrishBelle07 Oh, my goodness! Tell your
mother I said hi!
Wish I was on the train to — @TweetChizone
give you my packet of tissues!
They have ducks on them. I ran cross-country. I was a senior
— @danielleiat and on the brink of being on the
team headed for states. This race
I can’t even tell this story and decided it. A girl on my team was
not cry. I used to manage an LGBT just ahead of me. I couldn’t catch
bookstore. One night, a caller up. She slowed, grabbed my hand,
says he thinks he might be gay
and is considering self-harm. rd.com 85
We were not a crisis center! But
as long as we’re talking, he’s safe,
right? So I talk to this guy and
I answer questions, and I try to
be encouraging, and I’m maybe
sounding a little frantic, and I’m
definitely ignoring the customers
in the store. Suddenly, this angel
of a woman puts her hand on my
shoulder and asks for the phone.
“My turn,” she says. And she, this
50-something lesbian, talks to
this stranger on the phone. And a

Reader’s Digest no English, held my hand and fed
me grapes while we waited for
pulled me in front, and jettisoned the EMTs. When they finally came,
me across the finish line so I could she patted my hand three times
go instead of her. and put my hand on her heart
— @jmh278 before leaving.
— @laurenarankin
I once walked by a burly con-
struction worker who called out, Each account is compelling,
“That color really works on you!” but the ones where people
— @bananafitz don’t speak the same language
but are clearly communicating
One time I was driving without compassion to each other are
a seat belt, which I often did. especially touching.
I pulled up at a stoplight and an — @norlaskan
older man in the car next to me
motioned for me to put my seat A CUSTOMER GAVE
belt on. He pressed his hands to- ME $300 TO PAY FOR
gether and said please. I always THE DOCTOR VISIT
wear a seat belt now. AND THE MEDICINE
— @theaudreyshore
I WOULD NEED.
I fainted on the subway once.
A kind elderly woman, who spoke

It was my first semester
of journalism school and I was
second-guessing my decision
to pursue a writing career.
One day, I handed my debit
card to the barista at the coffee
shop. He looked at my name
and said, “That sounds like the
name of an author.” Almost
cried on the spot.
— @beccabeato

86

rebecca simpson steele Dude in a truck honked at me Inspiration
at an intersection while I waited
for an older woman to cross the I was flying from Montgomery,
street. I gave him the finger. He Alabama, to Columbus, Ohio,
honked again. I repeated the ges- with my year-old baby. It was
ture. He proceeded to follow me Christmas, and my then-husband
to a parking lot and block my car. was deployed in the Middle East.
I got out ready to throw punches. I was tired and depressed—just a
He got out. HUGE MAN. I thought, mess. The flight got delayed due
I’m dead. He put out his hand to snow, then canceled. Sitting
to shake. He explained that he around the gate and waiting for
honked but noticed his error when an update, I got to chatting with
he saw the woman. So he honked a guy who was in the Army and
again to say sorry. He followed headed home to see his little girl.
me to personally apologize so he Then came the announcements:
wouldn’t ruin my day. We shook A bunch of people got seats for the
hands. Changed me forever. And next flight, but not me. My tired
I was glad he didn’t waste me. daughter was crying and I was
— @MrPaulBae barely keeping it together when
the airline rep called my name and
Gave me a liver. gave me a ticket. That Army guy
— @thockman64 gave up his seat for me. I insisted
he take the ticket and see his
I was in the middle of a silent family. He refused, saying, “Any
panic attack while waiting on military husband would do the
a flight. Another passenger’s same for my wife.”
assistance dog evidently noticed — @twoscooters
my condition and pulled its person
to come by me. That dog put its I really wish I wasn’t reading
head on my lap for 20 minutes this while on the train ... BUT
until I felt better. I CAN’T STOP! So now I’m just
— @JudgeYouHarshly
—
Awww. What kind of dog
was it? Wow. This is
— @zoe_samuel what healthy
communities
A good dog. are made of.
— @IsaacBetty

Reader’s Digest
88 february 2020

FIRST PERSON

Where do bibliophiles
exchange sweet nothings?

To find out, read on!

Falling
in Love,

By the
Book

By Karla Marie-Rose Derus

adapted from the new york times

I was always a reader. As a kid, I walked to the
library several times a week and stayed up late
reading with a flashlight. I checked out so
many books and returned them so quickly the
librarian once snapped, “Don’t take home so
many books if you’re not going to read them all.”

“But I did read them all,” I said.
I was an English major in college and went on
to get a master’s in literature. When I created my
online dating profile, I made my screen name
“missbibliophile52598.” Filling out the “favorite
books” section, I let my taste in literature speak
for me: One Hundred Years of Solitude, A Moveable
Feast, White Teeth, The Namesake, The Known World,
The God of Small Things, How to Read the Air.

Illustration by Brian Rea rd.com 89

Reader’s Digest

But I realized it had been more reviews in them for the next person.”
than two years since I had read most We wandered the aisles for an hour.
of those titles. I had stopped reading
gradually, the way one heals or dies. In the end, we sat on the floor among
I tried to maintain my bookish per- the poetry, and I read him some. He
sona. I joined book clubs that I never listened, his head tilted down, asking,
attended. I requested a library book “What is it you like about that one?”
everyone was reading, only to return
it a week late, unread, with fines. That spring, as we picnicked out-
side, I said, “If I tell you something,
I still loved the idea of reading. will you not judge me?”
I treasured books and bookstores.
Whenever I found one, I would linger David paused from listing the titles
between the shelves for hours as if he planned to read over the summer
catching up with old friends, picking and raised his eyebrows.
out volumes I had read and buying
new ones. But it was clear to me: I was “I’ve only read one book this year,”
becoming a person I did not know. I said.

David was my first online date. “But it’s June,” he said.
His profile said he liked to read, so “I know.”
I asked him about his last book. His “But you like books,” he said. “You
face lit up and his fingers danced. Da- like bookstores. You like libraries.”
vid read much more than I did, about “Is it a deal breaker?”
a book or two a week. We seemed an “No, but still. Read a book!”
unlikely couple: me, a five-foot-three I was painfully aware of the glaring
black woman born to a Caribbean hypocrisy in my life. I defended the
mother, and him, a six-foot-four white virtues of bookstores in the age of on-
guy from Ohio. But as we got to know line retailing and bought books when-
each other, our shared faith and mu- ever I got the chance, but I hardly read
tual love of books bridged our gaps. them. They sat on every surface until
my house appeared to wear books the
When we compared libraries, we had way one wears clothes. They piled
only four titles in common. David pre- up on chairs and draped across sofa
ferred history and nonfiction, whereas arms.
I gravitated toward fiction writers of The Japanese language has a word
color and immigrant narratives. for this: tsundoku. The act of acquir-
ing books that go unread.
On our seventh date, David and I Each of my bookshelves holds two
visited the library. rows of books, an inner and an outer.
Surrounding the bookshelf are stacks
“I have a game,” he said, pulling containing different categories of
two pens and Post-its out of his bag. books: Books I Have Read. Books I
“Let’s find books we’ve read and leave Want to Read. Books I Started but Did

90 february 2020

First Person

Not Finish Because I Did Not Like more of the person I used to be and
Them. Books I Started and Loved but more of who I wanted to be. When-
Could Not Justify Reading Given Their ever he turned to discussing his cur-
Graphic Sexual or Violent Content. rent nonfiction book about the rise of
Silicon Valley or environmental phi-
The next time I visited a dollar losophers, I would tell him of fiction,
bookstore, I bought five titles for my- of men who left their countries by hid-
self and two for David. His charge to ing in boxes only to climb out and turn
“read a book” echoed in my head. into birds. I would remind him that
One afternoon, I picked up one I’d sometimes the only way to explain
bought solely for its poetic title. the world we live in is to make it all up.

I had a hard time getting into it. I asked David once what he liked
The narrator was an old man, but about me.
he sounded more like what a young
woman thought an old man might He paused, then said, “You make
sound like. Whenever I was tempted me less cynical. I see the world as a
to give up on it, I thought of David. He more wonder-filled place with you.”

I FELT HIM PUSHING ME TO BE
MORE OF WHO I WANTED TO BE.

had just started reading Infinite Jest. David suggested we visit the library
I pushed through the first two chap- again. He asked if I remembered the
game we played on our first visit.
ters and discovered a new narrator
in the third. I loved the alternating “I remember,” I said.
points of view. I carried the book to He pulled a book from the shelf,
work. I read at lunch and on my walk dropped to one knee, and opened it.
home, occasionally lifting my eyes to Inside, his Post-it read: “Karla, it has
avoid strangers and uneven concrete. always been you. Will you marry me?”
His proposal had rested between
“How’s your day?” David texted. the pages of The Rebel Princess for
“Good. A little tired,” I replied. “I over a year.
stayed up late and finished my book.” “Yes,” I said. “I’ll marry you.”
I tried to slip it in casually, but I was We embraced in the middle of the
proud of myself. The last time I’d fiction aisle, surrounded by other peo-
pulled an all-nighter to read, I was 12 ple’s stories, about to begin our own. RD
and the book was Little Women.
It was not a competition, but there new york times (february 22, 2019), copyright © 2019
was a tug. I felt him pushing me to be by new york times, nytimes.com.

rd.com 91

Reader’s Digest

All then, in front of the exhausting day,
in a Day’s customers, took a sip I walked over to a
from each drink to couple who had just
WORK see which was which. sat down, gave them
each a menu and a
The restaurant industry —thechive.com glass of water, and
can flummox rookies asked, “Would you
and seasoned pros ✦ I once had a care for anything else?”
alike. Consider: customer ask that —June Warburton
✦ A table ordered a his lamb not taste San Diego, California
Dr Pepper and a Coke. like lamb.
The server brought My job as a facilities
their drinks over, —reddit.com maintenance engineer
required a wide
✦ Our manager kept range of skills. One
reminding us wait- day I might have to
resses to encourage
customers to order
dessert. At the end
of an especially

92 february 2020 Cartoon by Harley Schwadron

I spend three minutes every day DEAR SUR OR
choosing a TV channel to leave on MADMAN
for my dog, then I go to work and
people take me seriously as an adult.

— @damienfahey

stefano spicca/shutterstock fix the furnace, while my three-year-old an- A résumé’s cover letter
the next day could nounced she had to go is your first introduction
see me painting the potty and waddled into to a potential hiring
CEO’s office. When the bathroom. After manager. Don’t blow it,
I described it to a some loud moans, she like these job seekers:
coworker as “I’m a jack yelled, “I did it, Mom!
of all trades, master of I pooped in the toilet! ✦ “I am a motivated,
none,” I was amused, I pooped on the floor self-igniting person.”
yet slightly offended, too! But I’ll clean it!
when she offered a less Oh, I stepped in it!” ✦ “I would like to come
than complimentary by and show you my
interpretation from There was an un- work in hopes of making
her native Cantonese: comfortable silence something of my life so
“Equipped with knives as I realized the doctor I can move out of my
all over, yet none are had heard every word. parents’ basement.”
very sharp.” “Ha ha,” I laughed
—Charles Goetzinger nervously. “Do you ✦ “I’m looking for work
Philomath, Oregon have kids?” because even though my
company was profitable
Four weeks into “No,” he said, “and last year, this year they
a job, you’ve seen I never will.” are expecting a large
everybody’s shirts. —Charlotte defecate.”
—Anna Drezen, Andersen
comedian Denver, Colorado ✦ “I’m not intimated
by your internship;
I was working from Anything funny want to be a part of your
home, interviewing happen to you at work? fun atmosphere.”
a famous neurologist It could be worth $$$.
for an article, when For details, go to page 3 ✦ “Strong writing abili-
or rd.com/submit. ties. Able to analysis data
and problem solve.”

✦ “I am getting to my
goal, slowly but surly.”

—killianbranding.com

rd.com 93

DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

The skewer
that impaled
Xavier Cunningham
below his eye must
have sliced
into vital arteries.
Which left
doctors asking ...

How Is He
Still Alive?

By Bonnie Munday

PhotographS by Steve Puppe

Reader’s Digest
february 2020 | rd.com 95

Reader’s Digest

The stainless steel In fact, it was the skewer. About
skewer that Xavier Cun- six inches of it was now buried in his
ningham found in his head. Screaming, he got up and ran to
backyard two Septem- his home, some 50 feet away.
bers ago was about a
foot and a half long and the width of Gabrielle Miller, 39, was upstairs
his pinkie. One end had four sharp folding laundry in the house she
prongs, and the other had a single shared with her husband, Shannon
point—it was the kind of rod used to Miller, and their four children. Shan-
cook rotisserie chicken over a grill. non, a teacher, had taken two of their
It also made the perfect spear, and kids to an arcade, while Gabrielle,
Xavier and his friends Silas and Ga- who manages a title-insurance busi-
von, all ten years old, took turns see- ness, stayed home with Xavier and his
ing who could chuck it the farthest. 14-year-old sister, Chayah. She heard
When they got bored, they ditched the her son screaming and thought, When
skewer near a neighbor’s tree house, will he grow out of this stuff?
sticking the four prongs in the ground
as an anchor. They then climbed up Xavier—called Bear by his family,
the tree house’s ten-foot ladder. after a story Shannon had told him
Apparently, the boys hadn’t seen as a toddler—always made a fuss over
the large wasp nest wrapped around the smallest scratch. If one of their
the back of the tree, for once they two dogs jumped up on him, he’d start
were in the hut they were under at- screaming; he was too scared to walk
tack. The swarm was so aggressive Max, the coonhound he’d gotten as a
that Silas kneeled in the corner and puppy, because the dog pulled on the
started praying. leash.
“I’ll get my mom!” Xavier said as
he descended the ladder. About half- Gabrielle was almost down the
way down, a wasp stung his left hand. stairs, Chayah right behind her, when
Xavier swatted at it with his right, lost Xavier pushed the front door open,
his balance, and fell, facedown. Before shrieking, “Mom, Mom!”
breaking his fall with his arms, he felt
a sting just under his left eye. Was that Chayah took one look and fled back
a wasp? he wondered. upstairs in horror. Gabrielle was trying
to make sense of what she was seeing.
“Who shot you?!” she said. It looked
like there was an arrow through her
son’s face, and a single trickle of
blood ran down from it. On the back
of his neck was a lump—the tip of the
skewer that hadn’t pierced the skin.
“Chayah, go find the boys. I’m taking
Bear to the hospital!”

96 february 2020

Drama in Real Life

in white gauze to help

stabilize the skewer.

The only thing left

exposed besides that

mud-caked metal rod

was his mouth.

At Children’s Mercy,

doctors performed a

computed tomography

(CT) angiogram to see

whether the skewer

had pierced one of his

major blood vessels.

They were amazed to

find that it had barely

missed every vital ar-

tery when it penetrated

Xavier being helped at his local emergency room. On the his head. It was like the
way, he’d told his mother, “I’m dying, Mom ... I love you.” proverbial threading of
a needle, only with life-

As Gabrielle backed the car out into and-death consequences.

the road, a neighbor watching them But there was a wrinkle. Metal

thought, That boy’s not coming home. shows up on CT scans as vivid white,

without defined edges. If the skewer

Emergency room personnel had any kind of bend, a sharp edge, or

acted quickly when Xavier walked a gap, then pulling it out now would

in, giving him painkillers and send- be rolling the dice, as it could catch

ing him for X-rays. The skewer didn’t on an artery and rip it open.

appear to have hit his spine, but an The only other way to get a clear

X-ray can’t show tissue damage. They picture of the skewer was with bi-

had to send him somewhere with plane angiography—a process that

courtesy gabrielle miller more advanced imaging equipment— gives doctors a crystal clear three-

Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas dimensional view inside the vascular

City, Missouri, about 40  minutes system. It is performed using highly

nor th of the family’s home in specialized equipment that only some

Harrisonville. To prevent Xavier from hospitals have. One of them, the Uni-

moving his head, hospital staff put versity of Kansas Hospital, was just

a plastic cervical collar on his neck, five miles away. An ER doctor got

and they wrapped his entire head on the phone with KU to describe

rd.com 97

harmed any key ves-

sels, it could uncork

something on its way

out and cause a stroke

or worse.

Using the angiogra-

phy suite required a

team of 15 to 20 medi-

cal staff. It would be

tough to get the right

people together so late

An X-ray of Xavier’s skull. Doctors feared that nicking an on a Saturday evening.

artery while pulling out the skewer could cause a stroke. But could the boy wait

until morning? For now

the case they were about to transfer. he was stable physically, but what

It was now around 7:30 p.m. Xavier about mentally? What if he panicked,

had been impaled for six hours. grabbing at the skewer? Everything

depended on his state of mind. Dr.

Koji Ebersole, MD, an endo- Ebersole asked the doctors in the pe-

vascular neurosurgeon at KU, was diatric ICU, where Xavier and his fam-

playing tennis when his cell phone ily waited, to talk to them and gauge

rang. At the side of the lighted court, whether he was brave enough to hold

he took the call from another KU doc- on. When Dr. Ebersole heard back

tor telling him about a boy who had from the hospital at 11:30, he made

been impaled by a large metal skewer. his final call of the evening. “We can

Dr. Ebersole looked at the photo- wait until the morning,” he told a fel-

graph from the hospital on his phone. low doctor. “The boy is on board.”

Whoa, he thought. He’d never seen courtesy university of kansas hospital

anything like it. The poor boy was It was late now, almost midnight,

lying on a gurney with a huge spike and Xavier’s ICU room was dim. He’d

sticking about nine inches out of his just told doctors he could stay calm a

face. How was this kid even alive? few more hours. He understood that

Dr. Ebersole headed home to make his life depended on his not trying to

some calls. He knew they’d need to pull out the skewer. He remembered

get the boy into the angiography suite a scene from the movie Black Pan-

quickly to see exactly what the skewer ther. At the end, the hero, T’Challa,

had damaged, or still could damage, impales the villain, Killmonger, with

and then remove it while carefully a spear through the chest. Killmon-

monitoring its exit. If it hadn’t yet ger declares he’s ready to die, pulls

98 february 2020