Readers Digest UK Sept2020

READER’S DIGEST

HERITAGE WATCH

Helping to preserve
Cambodia’s past

PHOTOS: (TOP) COURTESY OF DOUGALD O’REILLY; (BOTTOM) GETTY IMAGES Heritage Watch was founded by Dougald discouraged from buying antiquities;
O’Reilly in 2003, when he was working in businesses are certified with signage
Cambodia and witnessed looting of to help travellers identify ethical
ancient antiquities across that country. companies; and locals are employed
to work on excavations.
“I felt the looting was an incredible
tragedy,” says O’Reilly. “One can’t blame And Heritage for Kids teaches children
folks for digging near their homes to find about the issue. “We have a pilot
anything of value, since poverty is what programme in schools in north-west
drives looters. But the sites give us clues to Cambodia involving hundreds of kids,”
the rise of civilizations.” says O’Reilly. “The government loves it,
and the kids love it.”
Sites include Angkor Wat (right) near
Siem Reap. The 12th-century temple In 2009, O’Reilly won the prestigious
dedicated to the Hindu deity Vishnu Archaeological Institute of America’s
covers 208 hectares and is the world’s Conservation and Heritage Management
largest religious complex. “When I was a Award for his work with Heritage Watch.
kid, National Geographic dedicated an
issue to Angkor Wat, and I was in awe,”
recalls O’Reilly. He went on to do
archaeological work there, and to author
An Interactive Guide to Angkor.

In the early 2000s, he resolved to help
preserve prehistoric sites across
Cambodia. From his flat in the capital,
Phnom Penh, he mobilised his former
archaeology students, paying them with
his own money. “We began with projects
like village training sessions, to educate
locals on the importance of preserving
the past.”

The non-profit, which O’Reilly believes
is the first of its kind, also promotes
responsible tourism: visitors are

SEPTEMBER 2020 • 97

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE

My Great Escape:

Charming
Christchurch

Our reader, Trevor Johnson,
from Wolverhampton,
shares his memories of

a stirring trip to the heart
of New Zealand

Christchurch, the popular with walkers, joggers and,
largest city of New perhaps inevitably in the land of the
Zealand’s South Island, has All Blacks, rugby players.
had more than its share of
disasters, both natural and Adjacent to the park is the
man-made, in the last decade. Such Canterbury Museum, which houses
sombre thoughts were far from my many interesting exhibits, especially
mind, however, as our Airbus A380 the display of Maori woodcarving
started its descent over the Tasman and the skeleton of the giant moa,
Sea and the stunning Southern Alps an extinct bird which grew to a
came into view. Soon afterwards,
we landed at the city’s international
airport and my holiday in New
Zealand had begun.

The following day, I started my
exploration of Christchurch with a
walk in the early morning sunshine
through Hagley Park, which has over
400 acres of attractive woodland and
broad open spaces. It was clearly

98 • SEPTEMBER 2020

PHOTO, PHOLAVIVIANA height of three metres. Many cities
have hop-on hop-off buses, with
stops at the main tourist sights, but
Christchurch has a fleet of hop-on
hop-off heritage trams. My first tram
journey was from the museum to the
city centre.

After lunch—seafood chowder,
a local speciality—in one of the
numerous restaurants in New Regent
Street, I caught the shuttle bus
from Cathedral Square to Mount
Cavendish, where a gondola ride
to the top rewarded me with great
views over the Canterbury Plain and
Lyttelton Harbour.

Returning to the city centre, I
visited the Quake Museum, which
tells the story of the earthquakes
of 2010 and 2011. The scientific
explanations and displays were
interesting but it was the personal
tales of tragedy and heroism that
moved me the most.

A short walk along the Avon River
brought me to the Earthquake
National Memorial Wall. On the wall
are engraved the names of the 185
people who lost their lives in 2011
and this moving inscription, which
reflects Christchurch’s spirit of unity,
“We offer thanks to those who came
for us, to those who risked their lives
for ours and to those who supported
us. Together we are stronger.” n

Tell us about your favourite holiday (send
a photo too) and if we print it, we’ll pay
£50. Email [email protected]

SEPTEMBER 2020 • 99

HIDDEN

GEMS

Dean Village, Edinburgh

Cobbled streets, pastoral greenery and Victorian cottages—this month,
Richard Mellor basks in the bucolic beauty of Dean Village

M ost Edinburgh-goErs Trade diminished after more modern
gallivant along the Royal Mile, mills were installed at Leith and Dean
bound for the castle, or climb Village had become poverty-stricken
Calton Hill or Arthur’s Seat. Some inspect halfway through the 20th century.
the parliament buildings at Holyrood, or Restoration programmes in the
embark upon the Royal Yacht Britannia. 1970s established it as the desirable,
tranquil spot it is today, however, with
Few, however, ever stumble upon warehouses and mills converted into
Dean Village. This snoozy enclave is characterful housing.
arranged along a gorge surrounding the
tree-lined Water of Leith (waterofleith. There’s much to see on strolls: carved
org.uk), itself a little-known river which stone plaques carry images of bread,
twists and trickles 22 miles through referring to that former industry, while
Edinburgh to the port of Leith. original millstones dot cobbled lanes.
Red and brown-brick Well Court is the
Northwest of central Edinburgh— most impressive surviving workers’
usually about a ten-minute taxi ride— accommodation, and neighbours
Dean Village appears to be nearly a handsome half-timbered cottages.
millennium old. It grew as flour mills
were established along the Water, lured Past the bridge you’ll also find St
by strong currents, with cottages then Bernard’s Well, where an unexpected
built to accommodate their workers and Roman-style classical temple and statue
the four-arched Dean Bridge built to of Hygeia, the goddess of health, mark a
improve access. former healing hotspot. n

100 • SEPTEMBER 2020

Everyone

has a book in them It’s called an autobiography

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The Beatles Pistols
in ’76
in ’62

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MONEY

Sadly the likelihood that
you or someone close to

you will lose their job
due to the fallout of
COVID-19 is high

What To Do If
You’re Worried
About Your Job

U nemployment is expected to but just in case, it’s best to be as
hit 11% of the workforce as the prepared as you can.
coronavirus furlough scheme
winds down and some firms are Find out your rights
forced to close and let people go. First off, find out what your rights
are at your workplace. Check your
If this does impact you or a family contract or speak to HR to find out
member, then there are a few steps what you’re entitled to.
it’s important to take to help you
manage your finances until you find The notice period will be at least
a new job. one week, though the longer you’ve
worked somewhere, the more you’ll
Fingers crossed you and your job get. And if more than 20 people will
will get through this unscathed, be cut from the workforce (within a
90-day period) there needs to also be
Andy Webb is a at least 30 days of consultancy.
personal finance
journalist and runs If you’ve been on furlough you’ll be
the award-winning treated the same and have the same
money blog, Be Clever rights as staff who continued working.
With Your Cash
You can also speak to ACAS or

102 • SEPTEMBER 2020

your trade union if you think you’ll If they do, then it’s worth noting
need some support. that any money you are paid out
above £30,000 will then be subject to
Work out what you could get income tax.
A redundancy payment might only
be a minimum statutory level, or it A REDUNDANCY
might be more generous. PAYMENT MIGHT

The amount is going to depend on ONLY BE A
a few factors, largely your age, how MINIMUM
long you’ve been employed for and STATUTORY
your salary. LEVEL, OR IT
MIGHT BE MORE
If it’s just the statutory payout, GENEROUS
then the older you are and longer
you’ve been at the same place the Consider redundancy insurance
more you’ll get. Double check to see whether you
have any protection insurance
So for example, anyone aged over policies to cover things like your
41 will be paid one and a half’s week mortgage and expenses if you can’t
pay for each year over that age, one pay them. If not, then it’s worth
week’s pay for full years worked considering starting one. You can get
between 22 and 41 and just half a income protection for losing your
week’s pay for each year under the job, mortgage protection insurance
age of 22. to cover repayments on your home
and payment protection policies for
So someone who’s 50 years old and things like loans and credit cards.
has been at the same employer for
15 years will get nine times the value However, if there are rumours
of one and a half week’s pay plus six of cuts or if it happens in less than
times one week’s pay—a total of 19.5 three months time then policies
weeks pay. might not pay out. You’ll also likely
not be covered if you volunteer
There are some restrictions on the to leave. So read those terms and
total that you can get as statutory. conditions in full.
For a start you can only get a pay-off
for a maximum of 20 years with your
employer. There’s also a weekly wage
cap of £538 and total cap of £16,140.

Sadly if you’ve been employed for
less than two years then you aren’t
entitled to any payout.

Employers can choose to pay you
more—again check that contract.

SEPTEMBER 2020 • 103

MONEY

Cut back at home you’ll have less money. Your credit
If you work in an industry or score will also drop, so if you think
profession that you think is at risk, you’ll need to transfer a credit card
then cut back now as much as you balance or apply to remortgage do it
can, if you haven’t already. You want while you’ve a better chance of getting
to make sure that you’ve got much accepted for the cheapest deals.
cash as possible put aside to support
yourself if you lose your regular income. Most forms of borrowing—from
mortgages to car loans—can
This means spending less, currently be frozen so long as you
switching as many bills as you make the request to start or extend a
can and cancelling services and holiday by the end of October. You’ll
subscriptions that aren’t essential. need to speak to your lender to put
It might be tough to do, but the pain this in place. Bear in mind that you’ll
will be worth it later on. still have to pay the money, you’re
just pausing payments, and interest
Deal with your debts will continue to accrue.
It’ll be harder to pay any debts you
have if you don’t have your normal If it gets to the stage that you can’t
income—and that’s not just because make some bill payments, prioritise
the ones that could have the most

104 • SEPTEMBER 2020

READER’S DIGEST

severe consequences. You’ll want to It’s best to check out a website like
make sure you pay rent, energy bills entitledto.co.uk or turn2us.org.uk or
and council tax to ensure you don’t speak to your local Citizen’s Advice
get evicted or cut-off. Bureau to make sure you apply for
the most suitable benefits.
Beyond this you should be getting
some free help with your debts from Once that’s sorted you’ll need to
the likes of StepChange and the update your CV and start applying.
NationalDebtLine. The harsh reality is that if we do see
such high levels of unemployment
If you’ve already there’ll be less new jobs available,
been made redundant and there’ll be more competition for
Obviously you’ll be looking for a those that do get advertised.
new job, but in the short term you
should be applying for benefits. The You might want to start thinking
most common will be Jobseeker’s about retraining or learning some
Allowance or Universal Credit, but new skills. Keep a look out for any
you might also be able to claim extra financial support or bursaries that
support such as for housing costs. might be available to help you in
this process. n

Album Art
Can you match the emojis to the title of a famous album?

Answers: 1. No Jacket Required by Phil Collins. 2. Purple Rain by Prince. 3. Bat Out Of Hell by Meatloaf.
4. Abbey Road by the Beatles. 5.…Baby One More Time by Britney Spears. 6. Saturday Night Fever by

the Bee Gees. 7. Hotel California by The Eagles. 8. The Blueprint by Jay Z

SEPTEMBER 2020 • 105

FOOD

A taste of nostalgia
with chef, presenter and
I’m a Celeb favourite,

Rosemary Shrager

A Taste

Of Home

TRADITIONAL STEAK AND KIDNEY PIE

Serves 4 This pie brings me right back to my childhood
when my mother would make this for Sunday
• 300g ox kidney lunch. I would help her by making the pastry
• 50g plain flour, and I loved cutting different shapes to decorating the
top of the pie. If you’re one of those people who doesn’t
plus extra for dusting like kidney, just leave it out and add more steak.
• 900g chuck steak,
1 Preheat the oven to 200°C/Fan 180°C/Gas 6. First,
trimmed and cut prepare the kidney. Slice the kidney in half to
into 3cm cubes expose the tough white core inside. Remove this
• 2tbsp olive oil core by cutting around it with a sharp knife, then
• 60g butter cut the kidney into large pieces. Put the flour in a
• 1 large onion, large bowl and season it with salt and plenty of
finely sliced black pepper. Add pieces of kidney and steak and
• 2 garlic cloves, crushed toss to coat them in the flour.
• 200g button mushrooms
• 1tbsp chopped thyme 2 Heat the oil in a large, flameproof casserole dish and
• 800ml good beef stock brown the meat in batches over a medium heat.
• 2tsp of Don’t overcrowd the pan or the meat will steam and
Worcestershire sauce not brown. Set the meat aside as it is browned.
• 1 x 400g packet
of puff pastry
• 1 egg, beaten
• fine sea salt and
black pepper

106 • SEPTEMBER 2020 illustration by Daniel Mitchell

3 Turn down the heat and add the Trim the rest of the pastry to about
butter, then sauté the onion and 2.5cm bigger than the top of the pie
garlic until softened. Add the dish. Sit a pie funnel in the centre
mushrooms and thyme and sauté of the filling to support the pastry.
for another few minutes, then add
any leftover flour, and cook for a 6 Roll the pastry lid on to the rolling
further minute. Pour in the stock pin and place it over the filling.
and the Worcestershire sauce. Trim off any excess pastry, then
press the edges with a fork to seal it
4 Put the meat back in the dish and firmly. Brush the top of the pie with
bring to the boil. Cover the beaten egg and make a hole in the
casserole dish with a lid, place it in centre over the funnel. Bake for 35–
the middle of the preheated oven 40 minutes until the pastry is golden
and cook for 30 minutes. Turn the and crisp and the filling is hot. n
temperature down to 170°C/ Fan
150°C/Gas 3½ and cook for Extracted from Rosemary Shrager’s
another 1–1¼ hours, until the meat Cookery Course, (BBC Books, £20.00)
is tender. Check for seasoning.
Tip everything into a deep pie dish,
either an oval dish about 26 x 19cm
or a rectangular one with a similar
capacity. Leave the meat to cool.
It’s good to get all this done the day
before you want to serve the pie,
if possible.

5 Preheat the oven to 200°C/Fan
180°C/Gas 6. Roll out the pastry
on a floured work surface to a
thickness of about 3mm and about
the same shape as your pie dish.
Cut a 2cm-wide ribbon from the
pastry and place this
strip around the rim
of the pie dish,
pressing it down.
Brush the rim
of pastry
with water.

FOOD

World Kitchen

Japan: Mackerel Teriyaki

Teriyaki is a traditional Japanese cooking technique in which foods
are broiled or grilled with a glaze of soy sauce, mirin, and sugar.
Oily fish do particularly well with a teriyaki glaze and this is a
classic way to prepare mackerel. The alternative to broiling here
is to cook slowly over charcoal embers on a barbecue grill.

1 In a small saucepan, bring the soy sauce, mirin, Serves: 6
and ginger juice to a lively simmer over medium- Preparation time: 10 mins
low heat and cook, swirling the pan, for about Cooking time: 20 mins
10 minutes, until large bubbles appear and the
liquid has reduced to a thick syrup—about a Ingredients:
quarter of the original amount. • 125ml soy sauce
• 125ml mirin
2 Cut the fillets into thirds. Holding your hand • 4tbsp finely grated
12 inches above the fish, sprinkle both sides using
the flaky salt (this ensures a light, even coating). fresh ginger, squeezed
to make juice
3 Position a rack 4 inches from the heat source and • 1 fresh mackerel (600g),
preheat the broiler. cleaned and filleted
• 1⁄4tsp flaky sea salt

4 Lay a piece of foil over a wire rack and set in a Japan: the Cookbook
rimmed baking sheet. Broil the mackerel for by Nancy Singleton Hachisu
1 minute on each side, starting with the skin is published by Phaidon
side up. Remove from the broiler and brush with
the teriyaki sauce on the flesh side. Broil for 1
minute, flip, brush the skin side, and broil 1 more
minute. Repeat the brush-and-broil method on
each side. Brush and broil each side for 30
seconds more, ending with the skin-side up.

5 Serve hot or at room temperature on individual
plates as part of a Japanese meal. n

SEPTEMBER 2020 • 109

HOME & GARDEN

How To Hang A Gallery Wall

Group together your favourite prints, paintings and
photographs to create a stylish focal point in any room

1Begin by choosing the artwork the templates and nail markings are
and frames to use in your accurate, as this will save time later on
gallery wall. You may prefer to when it comes to hanging each piece.
opt for matching styles for a sleek,
contemporary look, or mix and 3Carefully cut out the templates
match for a more eclectic finish. and position them on the wall
Remember that gallery walls using a small tab of masking
don’t have to be limited to framed tape at the top and bottom. Play
prints—mirrors, hanging ornaments around with different layouts until
or decorative plates can all be you’re happy with the configuration
incorporated, too. of the frames and the spacing in
between them. A general rule of
2 Use regular paper, newspaper thumb is to use larger pieces in
or plain wrapping paper to the centre and work outwards with
create templates for each of smaller frames for a balanced look.
your frames. Simply draw around
the frame onto the paper and mark 4Once you’ve decided on the
with an X exactly where the nail will final layout for your gallery wall,
need to be positioned. Double check hammer a nail into the centre
of the X on each template. Carefully
Homes and gardens remove the masking tape and tear
writer and stylist away the paper, leaving just the
Cassie Pryce specialises nail in place. You’re now ready to
in interior trends hang your frames—just take care to
and discovering new remember which one goes where! n
season shopping

110 • SEPTEMBER 2020



ENVIRONMENT

The Plastic issues were seemingly unavoidable
when it came to public safety;
Pandemic previously banned single-use cups
were now mandatory at cafes, the
A mong the many 5p charge on plastic bags was halted
travesties the pandemic with online supermarket orders
has brought upon (which had soared by 48 per cent),
us, the recent rise in the plastic straw ban was delayed
plastic waste is certainly by six months, Perspex screens
nothing to be scoffed at. Although were installed at companies and a
the first reports of COVID-related drop in oil prices meant plastic was
environmental matters showed cheaper to produce than recycle.
clearer waters, a drop in fossil Yet the argument that all this was
fuel use and a reduction in noise unavoidable isn’t totally true.
pollution, over 2 billion articles of Research shows that reusable cups
PPE equipment have been ordered are safe when social distancing is
throughout the UK and over 28 in place, washable masks can be
billion units have been ordered worn and plastic-free visors are
globally—much of which is ending available—health and safety is the
up in our oceans. obvious priority but needless plastic
production where other solutions are
In 2015, studies showed that available is careless.
381 million tons of plastic were
manufactured around the world Whether we see a drop during
while 55 per cent of plastic waste post-pandemic life that is significant
was discarded, 25 per cent was enough to counter the plastic rise
incinerated (triggering carbon remains to be seen, but in the past
emissions), and only 20 per cent the public and government have
was recycled. Yet in May, plastic been most responsive to plastic waste
packaging was expected to grow by when it comes to environmental
5.5 per cent during the pandemic. discussions, so perhaps we’ll become
The packaging sector is already more innovative with our endeavours.
the most dominant in the plastic And, with some estimating that the
industry (accounting for 42 per cent) pandemic will mean a 5.5 per cent
and on top of that, the short-natured drop in annual carbon emissions,
lifespan of the products makes it the perhaps we can hold on to the notion
most wasteful too. However, where of cutting back on things we don’t
the pandemic is concerned, these need, and save our home. n

by Jessica Lone Summers

112 • SEPTEMBER 2020

Expert Q&A: Jo Ruxton

Founder and director of Plastic Oceans UK

Pako Mera / alaMy Stock Photo How did you become an authority in retrieving plastic waste from the ocean
conservation? I started working in this becomes almost impossible.
field 11 years ago when I decided to
produce our film, A Plastic Ocean. It What does Plastic Oceans do to help
took eight years to complete and during our planet? Our mission is to stop
that time we witnessed the global effects plastic reaching the ocean within a
of plastic in the ocean. I’ve watched generation. We’re developing behaviour
beautiful marine animals die from change programmes based on a novel
plastic ingestion and entanglement. (Plastic Intelligent Framework) we are
about to publish. Our programmes are
What are the biggest challenges designed to empower a wide range of
regarding plastic pollution? It’s the change-makers, especially young
thought that plastic pollution and climate leaders who face barriers in engaging in
change are two completely different environmental action.
problems competing for attention! They
have so much in common—both are What are some ways people can help
linked to overconsumption, both are stop the cycle of plastic pollution?
linked to fossil fuels and both pose major Check out our fun plastic treasure hunt
threats to our ocean and to some of the activity sheet for getting young
most vulnerable communities. changemakers to understand the
pointlessness of single-use plastic and
The most recent report on global how to design their own solutions.
plastic pollution concluded that if we
carry on as usual, the amount of Identify products in your daily life and
plastic entering the ocean will rank the top five items based on how
triple by 2040! pointless they are and how
difficult it is to phase them out
Plastic in the ocean breaks of your life—what are the
up into small fragments until barriers to change and who is
it enters the food chain at responsible for those? Share
the lowest levels. Half of all the analysis—with us, your
plastics sink, so collecting friends and online
them is already difficult communities! n
but the tiny fragments
mix with silt and mud Visit plasticoceans.uk
on the sea floor so

FASHION & BEAUTY

September clothes. By the end of summer,
seeing cashmere, tights, boots, coats,
Styling and scarves feels like a peek into
another (better dressed!) world.
Lisa Lennkh talks us
through the new These days, fashion has gone
digital. The September issues of
season trends she'll be magazines are shadows of their
investing in former selves. Instead of hosting
shows in the world's fashion capitals,
September is one of my which editors then analyse and
favourite months. Probably report on, many runway shows are
because in fashion, it has now streamed live on the internet.
always been the month of COVID-19 has helped speed up this
"the big drop"—the month when transition from live to virtual fashion
fashion magazines are at least triple shows, but it has been well underway
the usual number of pages, and land for a few seasons. Designers now
with an almighty thud through the rely on celebrities and influencers
letter box. The September issues to promote their new collections,
always thrill me with their fast- rather than models and fashion
forward look at autumn and winter editors. Fashion magazines are less
influential than they used to be, but
Lisa Lennkh is a banker the anticipation of the changing
turned fashion writer, season and thrill of novelty never
stylist and blogger. Her goes away, no matter how it is
blog, The Sequinist, presented to us. So what trends or
focuses on sparkle and items bring me fashion excitement
statement style for this September?
midlife women
A new pair of boots, as usual, since
114 • SEPTEMBER 2020 I wear mine to death every winter.
This gives me a new pair for best
and extends the longevity of the
ones I have. I buy black boots to go
with nearly everything, but buying
a punchy bold green pair has been
much more useful than I'd imagined.

Once again, animal print is strong
this winter. I like to warm up my
black winter wardrobe with golden
leopard accents. Timeless pieces
like a pair of leopard print flats, and

a (faux) leopard coat in a vibrant
colour are always on my wish list.

I've still not found the perfect
longer cape, so a wear-forever one is
still on my list. There are quite a few
designers showing capes for autumn/
winter 2020, so maybe I'll finally find
my holy grail cape at a good price
point. My only rule is that it can't be
black. The colour blocking trend is
so flattering that I don't think it will

ever go out of style. This has been
Armani's trademark for years;
everyone looks taller and pulled
together wearing one colour. Head
to toe outfits in attention-getting
shades like red or winter-white work
just as beautifully as a head to toe
look in elegant navy or classic camel.
This winter there is bright yellow,
bright pink, along with quite a few
spice-toned monochrome looks.
If you dare, shoulder pads are
making a comeback. I love this
trend. They look incredible on some
people, but I'm afraid I'm not one of
them. The sharply tailored suits and
dresses that designers are showing
with shoulder pads create a strong
silhouette and send a message of
confidence. This trend feels like a
real shift of gears after a summer of
floaty floral dresses.
September ushers in some fresh
fashion ideas for autumn and winter,
allowing us to reinvent ourselves just
a little. It seems especially useful to
do that after all that we've collectively
dealt with in 2020! n

SEPTEMBER 2020 • 115

FASHION & BEAUTY

Lashing Out

Can you really grow your eyelashes
in quick time? Jenessa Williams looks
at the science behind the serums

What Are Lash Serums? Do They Actually Work?
With mascara, extensions and semi- It can be hard to tell as results vary
permanent lifts, we’re a nation from person to person—where some
obsessed with tweaking our lashes. may see changes in weeks, others
We coo over those with lengthy ones, take months to notice a difference.
and covet the wide-eyed look of Products that aim to reduce
plentiful lashes. Eyelash serums have breakage as opposed to promising
entered a lucrative gap in the market growth are normally more
as a product that claims to boost trustworthy, particularly if you’re
natural lashes, in the same way that a looking for quick results.
nail or hair treatment might work.
The FDA-approved, prescription
What Are The Supposed Benefits? serum Latisse regularly comes out
Packed with peptides, multi-vitamins on top in reviews testing, but as with
and conditioning agents, lash serums any prescription product, it’s
are easy to apply, normally found in important to speak with a doctor
either a liner-type pen or a mascara- about potential side effects before
wand bottle. Coating the lashes with use. Eyes are of course very delicate,
hydrating elements, they are said to so be sure to do a patch test first.
counteract the natural breakage that
occurs when we rub our eyes, sleep or Teamed with a good mascara, a
apply make-up. Some products claim lash serum might well be your ticket
to boost lash density by plumping the to doe eyes, but consider other
lashes you already have, while others options too—a protein-rich diet does
state that they will actively stimulate wonders for hair growth and strength,
new growth. For best results, users are while a gentler make-up removal
encouraged to apply the serum daily regime (more melting cleansers, less
to a cleansed face, either first thing in scrubbing) will put less strain on your
the morning or last thing at night. eyes. In your quest for longer lashes,
it might be best to see serums as a
supplement, not a saviour. n

116 • SEPTEMBER 2020

PARTNERSHIP
PROMOTION

Making it count

After spending far too much hobbies are all covered. I’ve been
time on apps and social media using Readly in the evenings to relax
over the last few years, Gemma instead of watching TV. I’ve also found
decided it was time for a change. it great for inspiration and ideas for
“I’d started to get really frustrated with new recipes. We’ve been doing some
how I was spending my spare time”, re-decorating, so the interior design
said Gemma, 54 from London. “One day, section has been really helpful. Having
I realised I’d checked my phone over 100 so many past issues to browse through
times. Something had to give.” is just fantastic. I can’t think how much
I would’ve had to spend to get all that
“So, I deleted my social media apps content. If you read more than a couple
from my phone and made a promise to of magazines, you’ll be saving money
myself to do something more positive each month.
with my time.”
My husband loves the car, sport and
At first, it wasn’t easy for Gemma to business magazines. And we cuddle
find things to do. up and do the puzzles and crosswords
together now as well!
“I’m embarrassed to admit that I’d
stopped reading as much over the As it’s a family membership, I’ve
last couple of years. But, then a friend shared my subscription with my
recommended Readly to me. I’d always daughter who has started using it. She’s
loved reading magazines and thought it a teacher and loves getting inspiration
was time to give them a go again. from the kids news, science and history
magazines.”
The selection is amazing: food,
fitness, lifestyle, culture, crafts and

To find out more about Readly, and to try 1 month
for free, please go to www.readly.com/digest

FILM

HHHHH

THE ROADS NOT TAKEN

Sally Potter tackles mental illness tumultuous life story, hard lessons © UNIVERSAL
learned about regret, second chances
and family ties in her harrowing new and loss begin to emerge.

drama, dedicated to her late brother The casting is, of course, superb.
Bardem is haunting as he drifts in and
I t’s a simple premise: the film out of clarity, while Fanning is a picture
centres around a single day in the of inner strength as his doting daughter.
lives of Leo (Javier Bardem), a man Sadly, though, the scintillating
suffering from an advanced form performances aren’t enough to mask
of dementia, and his young daughter, some very jarring incongruities that
Molly (Elle Fanning). puncture the film. For all its emotional
depth, the movie can’t resist the urge to
Molly comes to pick up her father for a over-explain the story to us, using
couple of simple routine health checks, dialogue to fill in the gaps like a Looney
which turn out to be anything but. As she Tunes voiceover, and there’s a clumsily
puts on a brave face and tries to make handled motif around immigration that
light of an increasingly distressing day, feels completely out of place.
Leo drifts through a world of his own. He
journeys back to the days of his first Having said that, if the complexities of
marriage, touched by personal tragedy, familial drama are your cup of tea, this
and a summer spent on a Greek island, tender, emotional work will certainly
while working on a novel. As we become strike a chord.
more and more privy to the details of his

118 • SEPTEMBER 2020 R E A D E R S D I G E S T. C O . U K / C U LT U R E

RETRO Review on constant high alert,
hostility runs amok and
La Haine (1995) everyone’s on the edge
of pulling the trigger.
F ilms based on true stories—
especially ones depicting The three friends in
darker chapters of human the centre of this chaos
history—have the important are the volatile Vinz (a
role of reminding us of our past young, lanky Vincent
mistakes and cautioning against Cassel) who loves re-
repeating them: Schindler’s List, enacting scenes from Taxi
12 Years a Slave, Blood Diamond— Driver in front of the mirror,
the list is endless. the level-headed Hubert
(Hubert Kounde) who tries to
What makes La Haine (“Hate”) keep the lads in check and the
different and, thereby, quite shocking feisty Said (Said Taghmaoui),
to watch today, is how relevant and, in mediating between his two
fact much more searing, are the issues older pals. The trio bicker,
it tackled 25 years ago. A gritty tale shove, swear and “yo’ mama” joke
of three young men caught up in the their way through the 24 hours
urban riots within a poor Paris suburb, following the riots and encounter an
it demonstrates how quickly prejudice equally eccentric collage of characters
and mistrust can turn into brutal along their way.
violence with tragic consequences. The film’s most hard-hitting
With tension in the air and the police element though, is the way it
intertwines poverty and brutality
with hilarity and even a bit of
magic—as if to distract us from
the impending doom. It’s a notion
reflected in the film’s most iconic
line: “Heard about the guy who fell
off a skyscraper? On his way down
past each floor, he kept saying to
reassure himself: so far so good…
so far so good… so far so good. How
you fall doesn’t matter. It’s how you
land!” We can only hope that we’ll
land on our feet coming out of
2020, and not on our back, in a
broken heap.

SEPTEMBER 2020 • 119

TELEVISION

W hen COVID-19 went simultaneous lethargy and insomnia,
global in early 2020, the immobility and dislocation. Ana
Netflix commissioned the Lily Amirpour cycles around an eerily
Chilean Pablo Larraín—currently the empty Hollywood, and returns with
world’s most exciting filmmaker—to perspectives altered. That’s the least
assemble a squad of fellow creatives this year can provide at this stage.
and produce a series of short films
reflecting life in lockdown. The Homemade isn’t the season’s only
results, Homemade, now present as a breach of the boundary separating
latter-day plague diary, to be dipped television from film. Few caught
into or binged in one sitting. The 2016’s cult Irish comedy The Young
short proves the perfect form for the Offenders on the big screen, but
corona moment: at once a marker the third series of its sitcom spin-
of limited horizons, with a running off landed on BBC iPlayer over the
time tailored to our suddenly reduced summer, as daft and cosy as a well-
attention spans. worn shellsuit. Further out (in every
sense) but no less fun is Coincoin and
Several directors turn their cameras the Extra-Humans (Curzon), French
on their children, the only actors auteur Bruno Dumont’s follow-up
available to them. Larraín contributes to his 2014 series P’tit Quinquin: it
a tart fable about a care-home rogue establishes Bernard Pruvost’s oddball
reaching out to an old flame via
Zoom, countered by the sweetness of copper van der Weyden,
Rungano Nyoni’s text-based here baffled by alien
romcom. The ever-fascinating activity, as the closest
Kristen Stewart films anyone has come to a
herself, capturing some 21st-century Clouseau.
of lockdown’s weird
contradictions: the by Mick McCahill

Retro Pick:

M*A*S*H (Sony Channel)
The most successful film-to-TV
crossover in history—a still-staggering
106 million Americans watched the
finale in 1983—continues to fight the
Korean War in the darkest recesses of
your Freeview box.

120 • SEPTEMBER 2020

MUSIC

Album of the Month: Retro Review

PERMANENCE BRIAN ENO’ S AMBIENT 1:
MUSIC FOR AIRPORTS
by Guy Andrews It’s no secret that the lineage of
pretty much any contemporary
S ure, we all love a traditional verse- electronic music can be traced
chorus-verse-chorus song structure, or back to the godfather of ambient
a catchy rhythm, but just like the same music and all-round
old packed lunch or a much-treaded jogging Renaissance man, Brian Eno.
route, “conventional” music can lull us into This mesmerising 1978 record
a state of stagnation. And this month, we was the first ever to be explicitly
have just the thing to shake up your music created under the “ambient
diet. Permanence is a 30-minute deep-dive music” label and its dreamy
into the loopy world of abstract electronica soundscapes influenced
which Guy Andrews describes as “a chapter everyone from Ultravox to Burial.
of his autobiography.” The album consists of four
compositions created by
Rolling your eyes? Yeah, we did too, but as layering tape loops of various
you listen to the piece, you know exactly what lengths, and was designed to be
he meant. See, the music here unravels like a continuously looped as a sound
film or book narrative. Andrews takes us on a installation—an idea Eno came
journey through clearly articulated moments of up with while spending several
sorrow, bursts of anger and glimpses of hours waiting for his flight and
serenity—it’s an entire life folded into one track. getting annoyed at the
It takes some serious chops to tell a good story “uninspired atmosphere” of the
through music, let alone music that’s purely airport. Boredom really is the
instrumental and created on a computer, but mother of invention, eh?
trust us, you’re in good hands with this one.
SEPTEMBER 2020 • 121
by Eva Mackevic

BOOKS

September Fiction

A look at liberal love and a mysterious abode are this
month’s top literary picks...

Just Like You by Nick Hornby identify the black people in
(Viking, £16.99) the picture round). But the
The title of Nick Hornby’s new book also mixes sharp-eyed
novel works in two ways. As in observations with great
his previous fiction, the setting tenderness as Joseph and
is liberal north London where Lucy negotiate their
most people spend most of differences—which, in the
their time with people just like end, have more to do with age
them. This, however, certainly and education than colour.
doesn’t apply to the two main
characters: Joseph—22, black and Some more sceptical
working several jobs—and Lucy, a readers might wonder if at times the
42-year-old English teacher and single novel portrays the world as it could and
mother. Nevertheless, much to their should be, rather than as it is. For my
own surprise, they find themselves money, though, this only adds to its
embarking on a relationship—because, considerable charm.
well, they just like each other.
Piranesi by Susanna Clarke
Hornby has plenty of mischievous (Bloomsbury, £14.99)
fun with the many anxieties that In 2004 Susanna Clarke hit the literary
middle-class liberals face in their quest jackpot straightaway with her first
to be good (when Joseph accompanies novel, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell.
Lucy to a school quiz, her white team- Set during the Napoleonic Wars, it
mates are mortified that they can’t imagined an alternative Britain where
magic was real—and became an
James Walton is a international bestseller and a seven-
book reviewer and part BBC drama series. Now, 16 years
broadcaster, and has later, comes her second, which again
written and presented imagines an alternative Britain where
17 series of the BBC magic is real, but this time in the
Radio 4 literary quiz present day.
The Write Stuff

122 • SEPTEMBER 2020

It begins very PAPERBACKS
mysteriously
indeed, with Confessions of a Bookseller by
Piranesi living in a Shaun Bythell (Profile, £8.99). Funny,
mysterious house of self-deprecating and sometimes
infinite size, entertainingly grumpy tales from
consisting of behind the scenes at the largest
mysterious halls second-hand bookshop in Scotland.
filled with lots of
mysterious statues. His only human The Testaments by Margaret
contact is during his twice-weekly Atwood (Vintage, £8.99).
meetings with a (let’s face it, Atwood’s eagerly awaited sequel
mysterious) character called the Other to The Handmaid’s Tale didn’t
who may or may not know more than disappoint, going on to win the
he’s letting on. 2020 Booker Prize.
Annoyingly for a reviewer, what the
house turns out be and how Piranesi Dresden by Sinclair Mackay
came to be there really can’t be (Penguin, £8.99). A thoroughly-
revealed. What can, is that it’s definitely researched account of the
worth persisting through the controversial Allied flattening of “the
disorientating early sections—because Florence of the Elbe” in 1945. Both
the patience required is richly rewarded powerfully vivid and thoughtful.
as the book’s grip on us tightens and
tightens. By the end, everything is The Dilemma by B A Paris (HQ,
beautifully tied up and the novel proves £7.99). Should Livia’s husband give
to be magical in more ways than one. her some disturbing news just
before her 40th birthday party?
Name the author Dark family drama from a rising—
or perhaps risen—British star of
Can you guess the writer from these thriller-writing.
clues (the fewer you need the better)?
1. He shares a surname with the author of Home Work by Julie Andrews
the play The Lady’s Not for Burning. (W&N, £9.99). The second volume of
2. His books include Mythos and Moab Is Andrews’s memoirs covers the
My Washpot: An Autobiography. Hollywood years, including Mary
3. As an actor, he’s played Oscar Wilde, Poppins and The Sound of Music—but
Jeeves and General Melchett. also finds room for some more
personal revelations.
Answer on p126

SEPTEMBER 2020 • 123

BOOKS

READER’S DIGEST RECOMMENDED READ:

A Mother’s Love

Exciting tales of an electrifying yet altruistic woman.
Sarah Aspinall recounts the many adventures of her

mother’s life

Audrey Miller was born coronation as a Southport beauty
into the Liverpool slums queen (something she remained
in the 1920s—but it proud of ), she became pregnant
didn’t take her long to by a sweet but disappointingly
decide that she wouldn’t ordinary local man, and felt obliged
be staying there. By six, she was to marry him.
appearing in pantomimes at the
Liverpool Empire. In her teens, The resulting child, Sarah, has
evacuated to the grand seaside town now written this terrific memoir of
of Southport, she caught glimpses of her mother in all her maddening,
a more glamorous life that she was charismatic glory. In fact, Sarah’s
determined to make her own. father died when she was seven: at
which point Audrey’s life took a turn
Not that everything always went for the rackety as she set off around
to plan. After the war, she returned the world in search of adventure
from a trip to America to find that (aka men) with her eight-year-old
her dashing RAF fiancé was engaged daughter in tow.
to somebody else. Following her
Eventually, the two came back
to Southport where Audrey duly
bagged herself a rich widower.

As Sarah pieces her mum’s life
together, the book bristles with
astonishing anecdotes of Audrey’s
escapades—and many meetings
with the famous. Now a successful
film-maker, Sarah also reflects on
the personal consequences of having
had a mother who belonged to that

124 • SEPTEMBER 2020

READER’S DIGEST

now-highly-unfashionable category It is a hot summer’s day in 1943
of women: the old-fashioned and Audrey is arriving for her shift
man-pleaser. when a jeep roars up, passing her on
the driveway of the Palace Hotel Red
But here’s Audrey, aged 17 in Cross Centre, and out jump two men
1943, when she was lucky enough in air-force uniform. Quickly one of
to be working at a centre for the men holds up a film camera to
convalescing American airmen in his eye and is following his buddy’s
Southport’s Palace Hotel—and when, every move. His buddy is handsome,
as you’ll see, she was already an very handsome, with dark features
accomplished chancer… and a grin that seems oddly familiar.
As the news spreads into the hotel
‘‘At the dances, held there three and staff begin running about in a
times a week, a band played frenzy of excitement, she realises
swing, bebop and jazz and Audrey that this is the long-rumoured visit
was delirious with pleasure as that no one had ever believed would
the airmen swung her around to happen. This is a real-life visit from
the new American dance music Hollywood star Clark Gable.
that transported her to another
planet. The war had drained the She had seen him not long before
colour out of British daily life, but as the reckless adventurer in Gone
here on her doorstep was a piece With the Wind, sweeping Scarlett
of amazing Technicolor America. O’Hara off her feet, and she was a
She was already imagining more passionate fan, along with millions
than her childhood dreams ever of other women. Not only was he
encompassed, and who knew who, the biggest star of his day, but he
or what, would be her ticket to had also made several trips flying
this brilliant future? Above all, she in dangerous combat missions over
wanted love—epic, sweeping, and Europe so he was now a hero outside
passionate, the kind of love that she of the screen. The crew was there
now lay awake at night aching for.
She scanned the faces of the young Diamonds at the
men at the club, with their eager Lost and Found: A
shining eyes, but they seemed such Memoir in Search
boys, and she was imagining a manly of My Mother by
man, who would sweep her up into Sarah Aspinall is
this new life. published by
Then something happened Fourth Estate at
that was beyond even her more £14.99
fantastic dreams.

SEPTEMBER 2020 • 125

BOOKS

making Combat America about the Sarah Aspinall’s Choice Of
American war effort, and to film Memorable Literary Mothers
Gable meeting the convalescing
airmen at the Palace Club. 1. “The Bolter” in Nancy Mitford’s
The Pursuit of Love is a fabulously
Audrey pushed her way through delinquent mother “too beautiful
the crowd standing on the terrace to and too gay to be burdened with a
watch Gable and his entourage, and child” in this entertaining look at
she saw that he was chatting to the upper-class parenting during the
matron and assembled dignitaries. 1930s and 40s.
She stepped forward with a cheeky
‘Hello!’, her hand held out towards 2. No one could contrast more
Gable, as if she was part of this with the Bolter than saintly
awkward welcoming committee Marmee March in Louisa May
and the one who was meant to liven Alcott’s Little Women. Jo is always
things up. The manager and matron more exciting, but Marmee is the
were too taken aback by her sudden true heart of the book.
appearance to stop her.
3. Lady Marchmain in Brideshead
Gable shook her hand politely. Revisited is a brilliant study in the
‘Welcome to Southport, Riviera destructive power of a dominant
of the North West!’ she said with a mother in Evelyn Waugh’s beautiful
wry smile. portrait of doomed youth.
‘Well, that’s quite a claim!’ He
grinned back at her. 4. The fanatically religious Mrs
‘I think you’ll find we live up to it. Winterson in Jeanette Winterson’s
When you’ve seen the Palace here, astonishingly honest and brilliant
memoir Why Be Happy When You
’’you should look around the town.’ Could Be Normal? is one of the most
monstrous portraits of a mother
And the name of the in literature.
author is…
5. In Mona Simpson’s Anywhere But
Stephen Fry. Mythos Here the flamboyantly nutty Adele
August drags her daughter around
was a bestselling 2017 America in this powerful, funny look
at the mother and daughter bond.
retelling of Greek

myths. The title of

Christopher Fry’s The

Lady’s Not for Burning (1948) later inspired

Mrs Thatcher’s one-liner, “The lady’s not

for turning”.

126 • SEPTEMBER 2020

Books

THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

Emily Henry has written bestselling novels for
both adults and teens. Her latest, Beach Read, is
available now (Penguin, £7.99)

The Chronicles of Narnia by C S Lewis
I was a late bloomer when it came to reading, so when it finally clicked, my
voraciousness had more to do with a feeling of accomplishment than with actual
enjoyment of books. I’d been tearing through books like they were items on a
checklist, but the Narnia series were the first books to give me that out-of-body
rush that a great story delivers, the desperate urge to turn pages—not so you can
reach the last one but because you are so immersed in the story that your well-
being is at stake alongside the characters’. The story becomes your reality. You
go somewhere without ever leaving your house, and fall in love with people who
don’t even exist. Once I knew that was possible, there was no going back for me.

The Giver Pride and Prejudice
by Lois Lowry by Jane Austen
The Giver was the book that Even as she playfully skewers so
taught me the true power of many aspects of society and
fiction—not only to sweep traditional femininity, the
you away into a world outside beating heart at the centre of
your own but to leave you her novels is still always the love
fundamentally changed even once you’d story. Her authorial voice rides a fine line
returned from it. The book was assigned between that of a cynic and that of a
reading for my class when I was around nine, romantic, someone who sees all the little
and I remember returning to school afterward cracks and flaws in the idea of picture-perfect
with the feeling that I’d experienced some kind happily ever after and yet allows herself to
of magic. It might have been my first true hope anyway. Reading her books feels like
revelation, a realisation that not everyone having a whispered conversation late at
experienced the same world as I did, and that night with your best friend: sharing the
language could change our very perception of secret longing you still hold for a great love
reality. That was when I knew I wanted to write. story of your own.

FOR MORE, GO TO READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/CULTURE SEPTEMBER 2020 • 127

TECHNOLOGY

Beat The
Default

James O'Malley on
why you should
replace the
apps built into
your phone

A pple and Google are Email app: Spark
two of the world’s most The built-in Gmail app on Android
powerful companies. And and the iOS Mail are completely fine
with good reason—they for handling your email. But what if
make great products that you want something a little more
improve our lives. But they also exert powerful? Spark works on both
a degree of control that we’d consider platforms and just adds that little bit
unusual in other industries, as Apple of extra customisation and polish.
doesn’t just make phones, and Google For example, you can customise
doesn’t just make operating systems: what actions you can perform from a
they make apps too. notification, enabling you to send
emails straight to your archive or
So, if you have an iPhone, chances trash—or wherever you like.
are that you probably use Apple’s own
email app, and if you have an Android The best feature, though, is a must
device, you probably use Google’s for anyone who feels like they are
own Gmail app. But did you know drowning in emails: The "smart
there are other options? inbox" feature will automatically sort
your inbox to help you make sense of
In fact, head over to the app store it, grouping together important
and there are some really excellent correspondence from individuals,
alternatives that often don’t get a notifications from companies (such
look-in because we’re happy with the as an update on where a delivery is
defaults that we’re given. Here are currently), and email newsletter. It’ll
four you might like to try out.

128 • SEPTEMBER 2020

declutter your inbox and declutter official Twitter app will show your
your mind, too. tweets out of order, and offer
highlights from people you don’t
Podcasts: PocketCasts follow. So if you want a purer Twitter
Over the last few years, the world has experience, it's worth making the
become increasingly addicted to jump to Tweetbot if you have an
podcasts. And today, Apple and iPhone, or Fenix on Android.
Google’s own podcast apps have
become two of the biggest apps for Both apps will by default show
listening to them in the world. The you tweets in the order they were
only problem is that both have some posted—as God intended—and will
annoying flaws. Apple’s tries to be deliver a much cleaner and more
too clever for its own good, and will reliable experience. Admittedly,
stop downloading new episodes if these apps cannot do everything that
you don’t listen to a show in a while. Twitter does—such as vote on polls
And Google has tried to catalogue or view your likes. But if all you want
podcasts using its search is a super reliable way to access
algorithms—meaning that the Twitter’s core functionality of
database of podcasts it hosts can conveying news and information in a
be unreliable. clean and coherent way, these are
the apps for you.
This is why you need PocketCasts.
It is an app that does what it says on Maps: Google Maps
the tin: you subscribe to a podcast, Android users—you can be smug for
and it will download it. The app also this one, as you already have the best
contains controls to play podcasts at mapping app. But if you’re an iPhone
different speeds, without everyone user, you should download Google
sounding like a chipmunk, and there Maps—which is vastly superior to
are powerful filters enabling you to Apple’s own Maps app. Not only does
generate different playlists: so, for it contain more detailed mapping
example, you can have one data, meaning you’re more likely to
automatically filled with news find the points of interest that you’re
podcasts, and another for when you looking for, it is more deeply
don’t want despair at the world and integrated with Google’s other apps.
need some escapism.
So if you use Google Calendar, you
Twitter: Tweetbot/Fenix might see locations for upcoming
If you’re a news junkie, then there's events marked on the map—plus, you
no better way to follow events than can bookmark locations on your
Twitter. But it can be annoying: the computer, and have them appear on
your phone, too. n

SEPTEMBER 2020 • 129

FUN & GAMES

You Couldn’t Make It Up

Win £30 for your true, funny stories!

Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us
or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

My neighbour said that she was said firmly, "I am going to close the
exempt from wearing a face mask as door now and I do not want to hear
she has arachnophobia… I think she a peep from you."
meant agoraphobia! At least I hope
she did… I had almost closed the door when
I heard the younger child say very
JANE WHITAKER, Kent defiantly, "Peep, peep!"

Halfway through eating a spring ARIANNA TAYLOR, Moray
onion, my son decided he'd had
enough and put the rest of it in We went to watch a ballet and I took
the fridge for later, saying, "I'm my young seven-year-old and her
just going to put this onion in ice- friend. Her friend whispered to me,
olation!" A sign of our times! "Why do the ballet dancers always
stand on tip toes?"
JENNIE GARDNER, Bath
Before I could reply, my daughter
Having been fobbed off with a whispered back, "They can't find any
telephone consultation rather than dancers tall enough, that's why."
a face-to-face conversation with a
doctor, my friend was surprised to AMELIA BARNES, Clwyd
find the word "cirrhosis" included in
the back up letter from the hospital. "Look at all these caterpillars on your
As far as he was concerned, the topic cabbages, Grandma," said my four-
of conversation had been psoriasis! year-old grandaughter.

MAGGIE COBBETT, Yorkshire "Oh no!" I said. "Shall we pick them
off the leaves?"
I put my two young children into bed
and after reading a story to them, "No, it's OK. Butterflies are better
than cabbage." There's no arguing
with that, is there?

PAT METCALFE, Derbyshire

130 • SEPTEMBER 2020 cartoon by Guto Dias

“You have brains
in your head. You
have feet in your
shoes. You can
steer yourself
any direction
you choose.”

– Dr Seuss

I was ill in bed so left my husband to I told my husband that he should join
make dinner. He did a good job, but me at a new class I was going to. He
when he came to dish up, our son had said that he would, but then he
and daughter looked horrified as he didn't turn up. I found him in the
served the salad onto their plate. pub on the way home.

"Dad," they screamed at him, His excuse: "I thought you said pie
"That's the cat litter shovel!" and lattes."
They wouldn't eat the salad, even
though—thankfully—it was a new A likely story!
one that hadn't been used yet! HOPE BRYAN, Liverpool

KENDRA SEVILLE, Merseyside The company I worked for decided to
run a course for all senior staff. The
My young son's teacher was showing course was pretty dull and we were
me his work at parents' evening and all looking forward to the lunch
we came across his language book. break. The tutor announced that
On one page, he'd been given the after lunch the subject would be
task to write down which teacher he delegation. I put my hand up and
liked the best in the school. asked if I could send my assistant
along for that one as I was a bit busy.
He'd written "Mrs Smith. She is my
teacher and she does meth with My colleagues thought that was
me." We both had to smile! (He hilarious but unfortunately the tutor
meant "math" of course!) was not amused!

PIA AINSWORTH, Manchester CLIFFORD RICHARDSON, Essex

SEPTEMBER 2020 • 131

It’s never been easier to enjoy the world’s favourite magazine!

READER’S DIGEST HEALTH • MONEY • TRAVEL • RECIPES • FASHION • TECHNOLOGY READER’S DIGEST HEALTH • MONEY • TRAVEL • RECIPES • FASHION • TECHNOLOGY READER’S DIGEST HEALTH • MONEY • TRAVEL • RECIPES • FASHION • TECHNOLOGY

SEPTEMBER 2020

JULY 2020 AUGUST 2020 | S MALL AN D PE R FEC TLY I N FO R M E D |

| S MALL AN D PE R FEC TLY I N FO R M E D | Kenneth | S MALL AN D PE R FEC TLY I N FO R M E D |GIANTSIn The Footsteps Of Salma
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LESSONS IN Finding Health
LETTING GO My Family HazardsSEPTEMBER 20

J U LY 20203AAduutilsthmooInd AUGUST 2020 LIVES 16 PAINS
BTYRADNNSAFTORRAMCEINDG ITGONNOERVEER
33 ISSUESTPHEOEIPRLESTSOHRAIREES
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FUN AND GAMES
IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR

Word Power

Based on the number of searches at merriam-webster.com,
millions of people are stumped by these terms.
How does your vocabulary compare?

BY ASA BOXER

1. rapport—A: echo of an explosive 8. vitriol—A: petroleum pollutants.
device. B: relationship marked by B: ground-up glass used in making
mutual understanding. C: quick lenses. C: cruel and bitter criticism.
place to dock a boat.
9. schadenfreude—A: taking pleas-
2. visceral—A: pertaining to things ure in another’s misfortune.
in general. B: encompassing a full B: shadow puppet theatre. C: sounds
180-degree view. C: dealing with made by ghosts.
instinct rather than intellect.
10. nugatory—A: central part of an
3. plutoid—A: elements that behave argument. B: aerated chocolate.
like plutonium. B: planet-sized C: having no value or force.
object at edge of solar system.
C: chemical that masks steroid use. 11. furlough—A: average time of a
hayride. B: equivalent to the length
4. defenestration—A: action of of four kilometres. C: temporary
throwing someone out of a window. layoff or leave of absence.
B: enclose in a metal mesh.
C: deprive of something important. 12. trepidation—A: state of alarm
or dread. B: very small earthquake.
5. peloton—A: main group of riders C: carefully performed action.
in a bicycle race. B: second eyelid in
certain mammals. C: small 13. Pecksniffian—A: picky person.
projectile used in a slingshot. B: affecting high moral principles.
C: malodorous object.
6. pleb—A: opening remarks in a
debate. B: person with low social 14. didactic—A: overexcited
status. C: blister or bubble. communicator. B: skillful in personal
relations. C: tediously professorial.
7. liaise—A: contact and maintain
a connection. B: announce one’s 15. doppelgänger—A: double of
intentions openly. C: maintain a living person. B: sidecar to a
the secrecy of an action. motorcycle. C: tandem bicycle.

SEPTEMBER 2020 • 133

ANSWERS

1. rapport—[B] relationship marked the reviews of his new movie sent M
by mutual understanding; as, Emily Night Shyamalan into a funk.
and Amadeo had such a strong
rapport, the twins could sense when 9. schadenfreude—[A] taking
the other was in danger. pleasure in another’s misfortune; as,
Juliana felt schadenfreude when her
2. visceral—[C] dealing with instinct sister finally lost a round of Monopoly.
rather than intellect; as, What drives
a lot of American conservatives is a 10. nugatory—[C] having no value or
visceral feeling about the force; as, Kristof’s guarantee that he
government’s untrustworthiness. won’t lose another shipment is as
nugatory as his fake remorse.
3. plutoid—[B] planet-sized object at
edge of solar system; as, Your 11. furlough—[C] temporary layoff or
proposal is so far-fetched, it’s leave of absence; as, While Adelina’s on
practically a plutoid. furlough, she plans to read the
complete works of Dickens.
4. defenestration—[A] action of
throwing someone out of a window; 12. trepidation—[A] state of alarm or
as, Every good action movie needs at dread; as, Now that he was
least one victim of defenestration. unemployed, Toussaint opened the
electricity bill with trepidation.
5. peloton—[A] main group of riders
in a bicycle race; as, He realized how 13. Pecksniffian—[B] affecting high
out of shape he was when the peloton moral principles; as, There’s something
swooshed by. Pecksniffian about my sister-in-law’s
child-rearing advice.
6. pleb—[B] person with low social
status; as, In New York, one way for 14. didactic—[C] tediously
famous actors to pretend they’re professorial; as, Spiros tired of his
plebs is to be seen on the subway. mother’s didactic lectures on politics.

7. liaise—[A] contact WORD OF THE DAY* 15. doppelgänger—
and maintain a [A] double of
connection; as, She DECRUDESCENCE a living person; as, If it
liaised with the The reduction of a disease wasn’t you I saw on the
marketing staff street, I swear it was
while overseas. Alternative your doppelgänger.
suggestions:
8. vitriol—[C] cruel "The bathroom aroma left VOCABULARY RATINGS
and bitter criticism; by some men... and 7–10: fair
as, The vitriol 11–12: good
displayed in women" 13–15: excellent

134 *POST YOUR DEFINITIONS EVERY DAY AT FACEBOOK.COM/READERSDIGESTUK

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Brainteasers

Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles,
then check your answers on p139

Quick Crossword 1
2
Let’s get to work! Fit these 3
industrious terms in the grid— 5
and put your back into it.
6
LABOUR 4
WORK 7 9
GRIND
TOIL 8
EFFORT
TRAVAIL
OUTPUT
SWEAT
EXERTION
DRUDGERY

True Blue Fraser simpson (True Blue). The noun projecT (shirTs)
Daniel, Emily, Marciano, and
Christina are all wearing solid-coloured shirts.
The colours of their four shirts are red, yellow,
green, and blue. Only the person wearing blue
tells the truth, while the other three lie. They
make the following statements:

Daniel: “Marciano is wearing red.”
Emily: “Daniel is not wearing yellow.”
Marciano: “Emily is wearing blue.”
Christina: “I’m going to wear blue tomorrow.”

Can you determine each person’s shirt colour,
and whether we can expect to see Christina in
blue tomorrow?

136 • SEPTEMBER 2020

FUN & GAMES

Odd Die Out
Here’s a flat template that can be folded
into a cube. Which of the views below
does not represent the resulting cube?

ABC

In A State Alien Math

All the letters A visiting professor from a distant galaxy tells you
in Ohio appear—albeit that on her planet, half of 10 is 6. If the same
in a different order—in proportion holds true, what would she say is one
both North Carolina and sixth of 30?
South Carolina (but not
marcel danesi (odd die ouT). The noun projecT (uFo) in Washington, which
has only one o).
Can you figure out the
state whose letters
appear in a total of three
state names?

SEPTEMBER 2020 • 137

BRAINTEASERS

CROSSWISE
Test your
general
knowledge.
Answers
on p142











ACROSS DOWN

9 Radical (9) 1 Army dining room (4,4)
10 Accommodate (5) 2 Leaning letter (6)
11 Find the answer (5) 3 Armed resistance (9)
12 Holy Land (9) 4 Smoked herring (6)
13 Increase in speed (10) 5 Sporting competitors (8)
14 Finishes (4) 6 Silence! (5)
16 “The great grey-green, 7 Group of spectators (8)
8 Makes over (6)
greasy --- River” (Kipling) (7) 15 Grease (9)
19 Scholar (7) 17 Lack of variety (8)
21 Possesses (4) 18 Unequal (3-5)
22 Quantifiable (10) 20 Adolescent (8)
26 Heaven or hell, maybe (9) 21 Eg, Seville (6)
27 Sort of line dance (5) 23 Drowsy (6)
28 Marijuana (5) 24 Outlaw (6)
29 Dear (9)) 25 Experiment (5)

BRAINTEASERS READER’S DIGEST
ANSWERS
£50 PRIZE QUESTION
Quick Crossword
ACROSS Do The Maths
2. WORK Replace the question marks with
5. EXERTION three different mathematical symbols
7. LABOuR (+, -, ÷ or x) to get the right answer
8. OuTPuT
9. TRAVAIL 28 ? 7 ? 3
DOWN ? 5 = 17
1. GRIND
3. DRuDGERY THE FIRST CORRECT ANSWER
4. TOIL WE PICK WINS £50!*
5. EFFORT
6. SWEAT Email [email protected]

True Blue ANSWER TO AUGUST’S
Daniel is wearing yellow, PRIZE QUESTION
Emily is in red, Marciano
is in green, and Christina A: Nelson Mandela
is in blue. Christina will B: John Betjeman
wear a blue shirt again C: Eric Morecambe
tomorrow, indeed. D: Mahatma Gandhi

Odd Die Out AND THE £50 GOES TO…
C
ANDREW BERRY, Lincoln
In a State
The letters in Utah SEPTEMBER 2020 • 139
appear in South Carolina,
South Dakota, and
Massachusetts.

Alien Math
6

FUN & GAMES

Laugh!

WIN £30

for every reader’s joke we publish!

Go to readersdigest.co.uk/contact-us
or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

My therapist told me that I seemed asked who it was. “Oh, nobody,” he
highly susceptible to peer pressure replied. “Just some fool asking me if
and that I should stop. So I did. the coast was clear.”

Submitted via email Comedian MAX BYGRAVES

To really simulate the Broadway My dad told me to invest my money
experience, when I watched in bonds, so I bought a thousand
Hamilton at home, I streamed it copies of Goldfinger.
through my living room TV, but
watched it from my neighbour’s roof. Comedian NICK HALL

Comedian MATT JENKINS In my last relationship I hated being
treated like a piece of meat. She was
A man was lying in bed sleeping a vegan and refused to touch me.
soundly at 3am when the phone rang.
He picked it up and said, “Hello? No, Comedian DANIEL AUDRITT
you’ve clearly got the wrong number,
try the Admiral.” Sometimes, when I need something to

His wife looked over, confused, and look forward to, I put my fan on

rotate. Seen on Reddit

140 • SEPTEMBER 2020

I used to be addicted to Radish-ing
swimming, but I’m proud
to say I’VE BEEN DRY THESE HILARIOUS PHOTOS
FOR SIX YEARS! OF PECULIARLY-SHAPED
RADISHES ARE STRANGELY
Seen online
ALLURING…
A group of engineering professors
were invited to fly on the plane. Just via sadanduseless.com
as they were comfortably seated,
they were informed that the plane SEPTEMBER 2020 • 141
had been built by their students.

All but one professor jumped from
their seat in a panic, and frantically
headed to the exits.

When the lone professor who
stayed put was asked why, he replied,
“I have plenty of confidence in my
students. Knowing them, this piece
of junk won’t even start.”

Seen on Reddit

I tried going on a Zoom date, but there
was no connection.

Comedian GIANMARCO SORESI

I have been looking at buying a house
and seeing all the recently
remodelled homes has led me to one
conclusion: I am not attractive
enough to have glass shower doors.

Seen on Reddit

LAUGH

My horoscope said that I was going to get my Quotable
heart broken in 12 years’ time, so I bought a Quarantines
puppy to cheer myself up.
Twitter users share some of
Seen on Facebook the funniest quotes from
the 2020 COVID lockdown
I love it when people use the phrase “colour
scheme”, because it sounds so sneaky. @JamieBoge: “There is no
longer am and pm. There is just
“OK, we’re going to make this room look coffee time or wine time.”
great, and here’s how we’re going to do it:
blue, grey, beige, shhh! Somebody’s coming, @MarketingProf: “I can’t wait
don’t talk about colours!” to see which groceries
Sainsburys is going to
Comedian DEMETRI MARTIN substitute today…”

Did you hear about the corruption scandal in @StraytLadyK: “Now I
understand why pets always
the ladder industry? It goes all the way to the try to run out of the house
when the door opens.”
top! Josiah Stovell, London
@HollynHeron: “I’d better be
When you buy a V-neck top, there’s a V of going now. One of my Sims is
material missing. Do you know what they do getting married.”
with that extra piece?
@WebHank: “I said to my
They send it to Ann Summers and she family, ‘I can’t imagine three
makes those fancy pants. people I’d rather be
quarantined with.’ My
Comedian HARRY HILL 11-year-old immediately
said, ‘Oh I can!’ ”
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady,
“Send one of my bags to New York, send one
to Los Angeles and send one to Miami.”

She said, “We can’t do that.”
I said, “Well, you managed it last week!”

Comedian HARRY YOUNGMAN

CROSSWORD ANSWERS

Across: 9 Extremist, 10 House, 11 Solve, 12 Palestine, 13 Accelerate, 14 Ends, 16 Limpopo,
19 Student, 21 Owns, 22 Measurable, 26 Afterlife, 27 Conga, 28 Ganja, 29 Expensive

Down: 1 Mess hall, 2 Italic, 3 Rebellion, 4 Kipper, 5 Athletes, 6 Shush, 7 Audience, 8 Renews,
15 Lubricant, 17 Monotony, 18 One-sided, 20 Teenager, 21 Orange, 23 Sleepy, 24 Bandit, 25 Trial

READER’S DIGEST

WHAT INSPIRES YOUR COMEDY? I’ve
learned over the years that my own
reactions to the world are not
necessarily standard so that’s a good
way to be accidentally funny.

60 Second CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT A FUNNY TIME
Stand-Up YOU BOMBED ON STAGE? I once did a
gig in Hull years ago and we were not
We chat to the hilariously speaking the same language at all.
I could hear ice in people’s glasses—
funny comedian, that’s when you know it’s quiet.

Pierre Novellie DO YOU FIND ANY PARTS OF THE UK TO
BE FUNNIER THAN OTHERS? Lots of
WHAT’S THE BEST PART ABOUT places think they’re funnier than
PERFORMING? When I’m on stage it’s others but everywhere has their own
always the most fun to try something charm. Glasgow is the funniest.
new or risky. At the moment there
are no shows so I’m doing Twitch IF YOU WERE A FLY ON THE WALL,
live streaming. It’s this generation Z, WHOSE WALL WOULD IT BE ON?
futuristic, live show performing. You The head of MI6. I don’t care who
get a little chat room next to your they are I just want to know what’s
show and I’ve got viewers from going on. Just so I could finally see if
random places in the world. Pretty it’s like the mad conspiracy theories
cool. I’ve created my own little cult! or James Bond—what’s this guy’s day
like? They’re probably just filing.
I’m playing video games and
chatting to people, sometimes I do IF YOU COULD HAVE A SUPERPOWER
puzzle solving games which is quite WHAT WOULD IT BE? Immortality.
funny because people heckle you for I want to see how everything goes.
being an idiot. I’m the kind of person who watches
TV box sets all the way to the end
even if I hate the show. n

You can watch Pierre Novellie’s
Medieval Monday, Warzone Wednesday
and Thinking Thursday on Twitch at
Twitch.tv/PierreNovellie

FOR MORE, GO TO READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/INSPIRE/HUMOUR SEPTEMBER 2020 • 143

LAUGH IN THE
OCTOBER
Beat the Cartoonist!
ISSUE

Think of a witty caption for this cartoon—the A STATE OF
three best suggestions, along with the cartoonist’s SURVEILLANCE
original, will be posted on our website in mid-September.
If your entry gets the most votes, you’ll win £50. How justified are fears
about our increasing
Submit to [email protected] surveillance state? Chris
by September 7. We’ll announce the winner Menon investiagtes

in our October issue. TROUBLING TIMES
Exploring the role of
JULY’S WINNER the media in helping
Northern Ireland to
heal from its
fractured
history

Our cartoonist’s reunion with his crown is short lived, as his +
caption, “Thanks for reaching out” was beaten hands down
by our reader Franca Gatto’s caption, “I thought you said you Taste of Home

were going out to stretch your legs?”. Congratulations Legendary Israeli-English
Franca! Follow the instructions above for your chance to be chef Yotam Ottolenghi
shares the recipe that
crowned our winner next month. reminds him of home

144 cartoons by Royston Robertson

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