Reader Digest Australia Feb2020

Sleep Matters

brain becomes very active, and your gets shorter and shorter, so you get
eyes move back and forth rapidly most of your REM sleep in the last
beneath closed eyelids. Your mus- few hours of sleep, and most of your
cles become temporarily paralysed deep sleep near the start of the
during REM sleep, which helps to night,” says Denholm Aspy, a visit-
keep you safe, in case you’re inclined ing research fellow and dreaming
to act out whatever you’re doing in expert in the University of Adelaide’s
your dreams. Even animals experi- psychology department. “Both kinds
ence REM sleep, with similar levels of sleep are essential for overall
of brain activity, eye movement and health and wellbeing.”
muscle paralysis.

Understanding
Sleep Cycles

Throughout the night, you experi-
ence several 90-minute sleep cycles.
Each cycle begins with non-REM
sleep and ends with REM sleep, but
the proportion of each type varies.

At the start of the night, you expe-
rience more rejuvenating non-REM
deep sleep and very little REM sleep
in each sleep cycle. Towards morn-
ing, when your body is well-rested
and doesn’t need the restorative
non-REM deep sleep anymore, you
get more REM sleep per cycle.

“As the night progresses, those
REM sleep periods get longer and
longer, and the deep sleep part

Your brain uses REM sleep to regulate
emotions and consolidate memories.

If you cut your sleep short,
it can shortchange you emotionally

49

READER’S DIGEST Sleep’s Effects on Health

REM Sleep: Lack of sleep on a regular basis can
Where Dreams Thrive cause you mental and physical health
problems, including depression and
Historically, people believed that all cardiovascular disease, and you’re
dreaming took place in REM sleep, but likely to get sick more often if you’re
during the 20th century, researchers chronically sleep-deprived.
learned that people also sometimes
dream during non-REM sleep, though “Sleep is like a shield that protects
these dreams are of a different quality our bodies,” Dr Arnulf says. “Our
than REM dreams – less imaginative heart and vessels are resting during
and often no real plot line. sleep. If you don’t get enough sleep,
you could develop hypertension. It’s
“The dreams are less frequent and the same for metabolism and glu-
different; they are more mundane … cose; if you don’t get enough sleep,
less strange and bizarre than during you could gain weight and become
REM sleep,” says neurologist Dr Isa- diabetic. And sleeping is also associ-
belle Arnulf, who studied the effects ated with better immunity.”
of REM sleep-suppressing medica-
tion on people in her sleep-medicine Daniel Ray, 45, was able to make
centre. “The report we have about healthy changes in his life after he
non-REM sleep is that the dreams increased his nightly sleep time to
are closer to thoughts. ‘I was think- seven or eight hours from four or
ing.’ ‘I was with friends.’ What we five hours. “I lost 25 kilograms over
capture is not very detailed.” the course of six months when I slept
from 9pm to 6am, with not eating
Your brain uses REM sleep and after 7pm,” Ray says. “In my opinion,
dreaming to regulate emotions and
consolidate memories, which is why Lack of sleep on
it’s important to get a full night of a regular basis can
sleep. If you cut your sleep short – cause you mental
waking after five hours of rest, for ex- and physical health
ample, instead of eight hours – you’ll problems, including
miss out on the bulk of your REM
sleep at the end of the night, which depression and
can shortchange you emotionally or cardiovascular
mess with your memory.
disease
“We do most of our true sleep in
the first third or half of the night and
most of our vivid-dream sleep, or
REM-dream sleep, in the latter third
of the night,” says psychologist Rubin
Naiman, a sleep and dream specialist.

50 February 2020

Sleep Matters

enough sleep allows your body to run
like a well-oiled machine.”

Beyond your physical health, sleep
can have powerful effects on your
mood. Research has shown that lack
of sleep is associated with a decline
in mood, and experts suggest that
getting adequate REM sleep can be
important for good mental health.

“If we go to bed with bad feelings
that day, we will feel better in the
morning,” Naiman says. “The dream
during REM sleep does this in very
complex ways.”

Dreams Reveal especially if it’s unsettling or con-
Your Better Self fusing. “It’s a bit like when a volcano
rumbles and harmlessly belches out
When you get enough REM sleep for smoke,” says Clare Johnson, presi-
your needs, you may become more dent of the International Association
creative and insightful, like Feld, who for the Study of Dreams.
resolves work and personal problems
in her dreams. “The function of the dream is to
help you to release these emotions
Says Dr Arnulf, “Many scientists that are simply too strong. Dreams
reported that they made a discovery raise a red flag saying, ‘Hey, here is
by dreaming about it. Mendeleev an issue that hasn’t been dealt with
discovered the element tables in his yet. Hey, you need to look at this.’”
dreams, and even Einstein said that
the relativity theory came from some Health Problems
dream he had about some cows. And Can Block REM Sleep
what we know from science is that
you are better able to resolve com- Sleep disorders, like obstructive sleep
plex problems – to find a key – if you apnoea and insomnia, can interfere
sleep on it. Now the question is: is it with REM sleep. Insomnia limits the
just sleep, or is it the dream that may total amount of time that you sleep
help you think a different way?” each night, which cuts short the REM

Sleep also helps you process
memories and emotions: REM sleep
helps you make sense of what you’ve
experienced in your waking life,

51

READER’S DIGEST

Don't be sleeping, so their sleep is not real-
discouraged if you ly restorative,” says clinical neu-
can’t remember your ropsychologist Professor Philippe
dreams. If you're Peigneux.
sleeping enough,
Depression and a shortage of REM
you're almost sleep have a chicken-and-egg rela-
certainly benefiting tionship: some experts believe that
sleep loss that’s caused by insomnia,
from REM sleep sleep apnoea, or other health con-
ditions may lead to depression. Yet
sleep you’d get in the final hours of depression can cause trouble sleep-
the early morning. And people with ing, which may lead to insomnia. To
sleep apnoea stop breathing period- treat depression, doctors typically
ically throughout the night, which prescribe antidepressants, which
causes frequent wakings; they may suppress REM sleep. Because of this,
not get enough restorative non-REM people aren’t able to regulate their
sleep or dream-filled REM sleep. emotions during REM sleep to help
stabilise their moods.
“They are never really deeply
“People who take medication for
depression write to me saying, ‘Ever
since I started taking this medica-
tion, I don’t remember anything
about my dreams; I used to have
a wonderful active dream life and
this medication is suppressing my
dreams,’” Johnson says.

How to Get
More REM Sleep

If you get enough good-quality sleep,
you’ll naturally get more REM sleep.
Here’s how to get started:
Change your attitude Because peo-
ple prioritise work, socialising,
and screen time over sleep, record
numbers of people are voluntarily
sleep-deprived today. “In the last
study in France, it was shown that
we have lost half an hour in the last

52 february 2020

Sleep Matters

seven years, and we went under the open all night – can improve your
seven-hour cut-off, which is signifi- sleep quality. “You restore your mem-
cant,” Dr Arnulf says. ory consolidation capability in non-
Make time Don’t wake an hour or two REM sleep,” Professor Peigneux says.
earlier than your body needs or you’ll If you can sleep more, your chances
miss out on crucial early-morn- of transitioning to REM sleep are
ing REM sleep. Gauge your needs better.
by comparing your wake times on
weekdays and weekends, and make Don’t be discouraged if you can’t
changes as needed to ensure that remember your dreams: Dr Arnulf
you sleep enough every night. “If you has monitored people who identify
sleep two hours more on weekend as non-dreamers who are also sleep-
than during the week, that means talkers and found that even they
you are not getting your normal dream during REM sleep, although
amount of sleep during the week,” they don’t remember it. “They had
Professor Peigneux says. some very nice and active dreams
Avoid sleep aids If you have trouble during REM sleep that we could
falling asleep, don’t pop a sleeping monitor in the sleep lab,” she says.
pill, because it won’t provide true “When we woke them up, just after
sleep, and you won’t experience the episodes of speaking and mov-
any REM sleep. “It puts you into a ing in the bed, they did not remember
state of trance or sedation,” John- anything.”
son says. “You replace one problem
with another; you’re actually cutting Rest assured that if you’re sleeping
down on the levels of REM sleep enough, you’re almost certainly ben-
and everything that the dreaming efiting from REM sleep.
brain is doing, like consolidating
memories.” “If we breathe in a normal, healthy
Seek treatment for sleep apnoea way, we don’t have to pay attention to
The standard treatment – a CPAP it, and of course we derive great ben-
machine, which keeps your airways efit,” Naiman says. “It’s true with
dreaming, too. If we dream well, we
don’t necessarily have to remember
the dream to get benefits from it.”

Electrifying Feeling

Seventy-five per cent of the time spent together
in modern relationships is just comparing phone battery life

to determine who gets to use the charger first.

@mom_overboard

53

READER’S DIGEST

54 February 2020

SEE THE WORLD...
Turn the page ››
readersdigest.com.au 55

...DIFFERENTLY

56 february 2020

Mermaids are swimming
through a 10,000

plastic-bottle ocean.
With his photography project

‘Mermaids Hate Plastic’,
Canadian artist Benjamin von

Wong draws attention to a
serious problem: the pollution

of the world’s oceans. Right
now, more than 150 million
tonnes of plastic waste waft
through the seas, with eight
million tonnes being added to
that number each year. At this
rate, by 2050 there will be more
plastic in the oceans than fish.

PHOTO: MARTIN LACASSE
PHOTO: VONWONG

57

HUMOUR

The
WORST
Advice
I Ever
Got

ILLUSTRATIONS BY

Ellen Weinstein
EDITED BY Andy Simmons

58 february 2020

“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”
“Don’t ever take a fence down until
you know why it was put up.”

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

All excellent words to live by. Sadly, SWITCH ON
that’s the end of the good advice on
these pages. What we present here “Stop reading! You read too much;
is guidance to avoid at all costs, you’re going to hurt your eyes! Go
collected from our readers and watch TV for a while!”
elsewhere. Read it, laugh at it, learn
from it. But whatever you do, don’t According to my grandma, every
follow it. time she visited.

COMMUNE WITH NATURE YIUROITU on thoughtcatalog.com

“If you see a bear and don’t have time When I was a Boy Scout,
we went camping.
to run away, hug it. Bears cannot
My Scout leader
scratch their stomachs.” said to just use the
leaves to wipe.
According to my no-nonsense
It was poison ivy.
grandfather. @ROSEVELETH
C H R I SDR E W DAV I S
DRIVE OFFENSIVELY
on reddit.com
When I started learning how to
drive, my father, completely serious, 59
said to me, “Always weave a little,
and all the other cars will stay away
from you.” KARLEN STEPHENSEN

IMPROVE YOUR COMPLEXION

As a young teenager, I had terrible
acne. A doctor told me that my acne
would go away once I married. Pre-
sumably, sex would make it disap-
pear. I’m glad that we got a second
opinion. I didn’t get married until I
was 34.

RICK WEAVER

READER’S DIGEST

I was working as a designer at a
small company. One day, I asked
my boss what I could do to advance
myself. His advice: “Find a rich
man and get married.” I had a
better idea. I sent my résumé
out and went back to study.

Eight years later, I got
an associate’s degree in
graphic design and have
enjoyed a successful
career in mechanical
design. So thanks for
the bad advice, boss.
It lit a fire under me
and launched my life.

LUANN SMITH

PULL THE PLUG COME UP SHORT

My husband grew hot peppers in “It’s the thought that counts.”
our garden one year. Wanting to dry
them out, we asked our Amish friend PEGGY TAPIA
what to do. She suggested we use
the microwave to quicken the pro- LIGHT UP
cess. So we took her suggestion and
nuked the peppers. Within seconds, As a new fireman, I was advised by the
sickening fumes filled the kitchen, older firemen to start smoking. They
driving us out of the house, coughing said it would help acclimatise my
and gagging. Only later did we stop lungs to the smoke in a building fire.
to wonder why we took the advice to
use the microwave from someone JOE R. JOHNSON
who doesn’t use electric appliances.
TRY A NEW COLOUR
ANDREA PETROKONI
“You would look great with black
hair,” a friend told me. “Let’s dye it.”

I didn’t. Worse, although

60 february 2020

The Worst Advice I Ever Got

the colour was supposed to wash out, Trying to instil a life
it didn’t. Instead, it turned blue. Dark
blue, almost navy blue. Since this was lesson in our energetic
years before punk and dyed hair, I
was horrified. Although, who knows, young son, I called out as
maybe I started a trend.
he ran by, “When you are
INDY FRY
running with scissors,
SELL NOW
point them down!”
In 1984, my sister’s husband worked
for an electronics company servicing His dad rejoined,
small relay stations in the Washing-
ton area. He suggested we buy stock “Or just don’t run with
in a company that was one of his cli-
ents. So I bought 200 shares, as did scissors.” DIANN ADEN
my mother. We watched the stock go
up to around $31 a share, and then
drop again. Then it would go back up
and drop again.

My old accounting professor told
the class that if we had a stock that
performed that way, it probably
would never go higher and we should
dump it. So that’s why Mum and I
sold our stock in Microsoft at under
$31 a share. I never look at what it is
today because I don’t want to be sick.

K.W.

FLY GENTLY

As my brother left to pilot B-17s in
World War II, our worried mother
told him to “fly low and slow.” Terri-
ble advice for a pilot leaving for war.

BARBARA FENLEY

CARPE DIEM

“Go ahead; what could go wrong?”

WILLIAM C. POOLE

61

READER’S DIGEST

BE A GODFATHER CHARGE IT

“Be a Michael, not a Sonny.” My mum “Just open another credit card; it’s
gives me this advice every time I want free money.” That gem came from my
to confront someone. How about I friend, who is thousands of dollars in
probably shouldn’t behave like any debt and has no idea she will eventu-
member of the Mafia?! ally have to pay that off.

@MIA BACONAFICIONADO8

STALL OUT

I had wanted to earn a doctoral
degree for decades and finally saw
an opportunity to do so. When my
mother heard, she said, “Why? You’ll
be 50 years old when you complete
it!” My dad shot back, “She would be
50 years old anyway. Let’s help the
kid get her education!” Thanks to
Dad, I’ve had a very rewarding career
as a university professor.

KAREN CLEMONS

As a six-year-old, FIND A MENTOR
I entered the 100-metre
dash in my school’s “An internship at the White House
Little Olympics. My will be amazing on your résumé.”
14-year-old brother
advised me to @MONICALEWINSKY
run like an ostrich, on
my tiptoes, straight- HOLD OUT FOR PERFECTION
legged. I finished last.
When I told an unmarried friend I was
JUDY ZDROJEWSKI engaged, she asked whether my
fiancée was perfect. I told the friend
she wasn’t. In that case, she told me,
don’t get married until you find the
perfect person. I ignored my friend
and have had 26 years of imperfect but
happy marriage so far, with four chil-
dren who bring me great joy. In the
process, I have learned to tolerate im-

ns in others. That friend is
still single. BRIAN CHAMPAGNE

62 february 2020

ANIMAL KINGDOM

Chameleons

of the Sea

Think of Australian animals. Kangaroos will
spring to mind, and surely koalas, too. The country
is famous for its unique and often downright bizarre
fauna, but the strangest and most intriguing of the lot
is the colour-changing giant Australian cuttlefish

BY David Levell

63

READER’S DIGEST

Meet Sepia apama, the giant Australian cuttlefish. You

might meet one almost anywhere along Australia’s

southern coastline, from Brisbane around to Ningaloo Reef

in Western Australia. But go to Whyalla, South Australia,

between May and July, and you can meet thousands,

crowding shallow offshore waters in what eminent US

scientist and cuttlefish expert Roger Hanlon has dubbed

“the premier marine attraction on the planet”.
Found along a stretch of
about eight kilometres at unruffled by human visitors and
Point Lowly, about 20 min- often regard divers with unabashed
utes’ drive from Whyalla, curiosity. Their shimmering bod-
ies pulsate with bright hues likely

this mating aggregation can to change at any second – blue, red,

average up to one cuttlefish every green, purple. Expressive, widely

square metre. Adding to the specta- spaced eyes perch on a broad brow

cle is their size – Sepia apama is the above a sweep of trunk-like tenta-

world’s largest cuttlefish (twice as big cles, which ripple at the tips like a

as most species, about the size of a thoughtful drumming of fingers. It’s

small dog) – and their amazing abili- almost like communing with some

ty to change bodily colour, shape and kind of phantasmagorical marine

even texture at will. elephant in miniature.

“It was an incredible moment,” Their inquisit ive intel ligence

Australian marine biologist Alex has long attracted worldwide at-

Schnell says of her f irst t rip to tention. Cephalopods (the mollusc

Whyalla last year. “I saw hundreds class including octopus, squid and

when I was out there. Two-and-half cuttlefish) are the world’s smartest

metres of water, and all these rain- invertebrates, with by far the largest ALL PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES

bow-coloured molluscs mating, nervous systems.

fighting – all this drama going on They’re also one of t he few

around you. Pretty much cuttlefish creatures of any k ind w ith the

as far as you could see.” complex mental processing called

Encountering even one giant Aus- episodic-like memory – the ability to

tralian cuttlefish underwater is a recall the what, where and when of

thrill. Usually found lurking under an incident, and to combine these

rock y overhangs, they’re mostly factors for use in versatile ways.

64 February 2020

Chameleons of the Sea

Giant cuttlefish grow up to 50 cm in displays that convey different levels
mantle length and over 10.5 kg in weight of aggression.”

“Cuttlefish don’t store food, but they Colours ripple and flash even
are able to modify their foraging while they sleep, which, together
behaviour by remembering what with rapid-eye movement, suggests
they ate, where they ate it and how they dream.
long ago,” Alex explains.
And yet, for all the dazzling
Their most striking behaviour, psychedelia of their displays, cut-
tlefish are colour-blind. If that’s not
odd enough, add three hearts, green
blood and a better number sense
than human babies: most one year
olds can count to three; cuttlefish
manage up to five.

For Alex, it was this combination
of high strangeness and high intelli-
gence that drew her into the cuttle-
fish world. A beach-going childhood
in Sydney fuelled her passion for
the sea, and ultimately a career in
marine biology.

“I was studying marine science
at Sydney University as an under-
grad. We took a field trip and were

Sepia apama
is the world’s largest cuttlefish,

about the size of a small dog

however, is their mesmerising talent doing intertidal observations. I saw
for rapid-fire changes in colour and an octopus climb out of a rockpool
patterning – sometimes within mil- and creep into another across the
liseconds. It’s not just camouflage rock,” she says. “It just seemed so
– it’s communication. “They have alien-like; it captivated my curiosity
hierarchical levels of display,” Alex and inspired me to learn more about
says. “Down at the Whyalla aggre- cephalopod behaviour.”
gation you see all sorts of eye-catch-
ing colour changes, different visual Since completing a PhD on
the signalling repertoire of giant

65

READER’S DIGEST

The lighthouse at
Point Lowly, South Australia

The cuttlefish aggregation currently
exceeds 150,000 and the world-exclusive

event is a major tourist attraction

Australian cuttlefish, Alex is now at the precursor, or whether they have
the University of Cambridge where future-planning ability as well.”
she’s comparing cuttlefish intelli-
gence and memory with smart birds How long giant Australian cut-
such as crows and scrub jays. By tlefish have swarmed at Whyalla
adapting experiments developed for in such vast numbers is uncertain.
scrub jays, she aims to see if cuttle- Some locals say no earlier than the
fish can think ahead. “Episodic-like late 1990s, and attribute it to the
memory is the precursor to future overfishing of snapper in the Spencer
planning, so the goal is now to find Gulf. Exactly why they converge off
out whether cuttlefish just evolved Point Lowly remains mysterious. “It
wouldn’t be food, because they don’t
66 February 2020

Chameleons of the Sea

eat during the breed-

ing period,” Alex says.

“More likely it’s the one

place with the rocky

outcrops that females

attach their eggs to.”

In any case, when

word got out ma-

rine biologists were

amazed, because they

knew what few others

did – that this mass

gathering was unique. Giant cuttlefish have the ability to change colour,

No other cephalopod skin texture and shape

does it; even Sepia

apama only does it at Whyalla. ability,” Alex says. “At the Whyalla ag-

Fishermen also took notice. The gregation they have a huge variation

first big harvest was in 1997, with of size, and larger males defend their

30,000 cuttlefish taken. In 1998 the females aggressively. So male cuttle-

boats were waiting for them, but this fish half the size of larger ones have

time a similar haul led to partial and developed a strategy of imitating the

then full fishing bans in the spawn- appearance of a female.” The disguise

ing area. It wasn’t enough, howev- – including certain changes in colour

er – numbers began to plummet. and body patterning, and drawing in

Protection was eventually extended their arms – enables smaller males to

to the entire upper Spencer Gulf in mate with females unchallenged. It’s

2013, the year a survey counted only a tactic unique to Whyalla, where a

13,492 spawning cuttlefish – a 93 per male-female ratio of up to 11:1 puts

cent fall from the 182,585 estimated males under heav y pressure. And

in 1999. it works. DNA paternity testing has

Now fully protected, W hyalla’s found, Alex says, that “between 30

cuttlefish have recovered remarka- and 40 per cent of the female eggs

bly well. The aggregation currently came from these males that were

exceeds 150,000 and t he world- mimicking females.”

exclusive event is a major tourist Often called the ‘chameleons of the

attraction. There’s no doubt they sea’ for their body-morphing talent,

put on a great show for divers and cuttlefish have another nickname

snorkellers. – the ‘rock stars of the sea’, because

“I particularly like their mimicry they ‘live fast and die young’.

67

READER’S DIGEST

Giant cuttlefish engage in a mating embrace off Point Lowry

Clever and intriguing as they are, their colours aren’t as vibrant.”
giant Australian cuttlefish live only And so Whyalla isn’t just the biggest
four years at the very most, but typ-
ically just one or two. “They are se- cuttlefish party on Earth – for every
melparous, which means they’re cuttlefish there, it’s a first and final
programmed to die after one breed- fling. “A lot of females starve during
ing period,” Alex explains. “At the breeding time,” Alex adds. “They
beginning of the aggregation every- cannibalise their own body proteins
one’s so beautiful and vibrant. But because they’re not getting any nutri-
at the end they’re all quite haggard, ents from external sources.”
especially a lot of the males that have
been engaged in fights. They might Why wouldn’t such a smart crea-
have big chunks out of them and ture live longer? It makes more sense
when you realise their intelligence
68 February 2020 likely arose from needing to elude

Chameleons of the Sea

many predators while seeking their path to a complex nervous system
own prey, typically small fish and makes their intelligence the most
crustaceans. Lacking co-operative alien of any known to us.
behaviours (paradoxically, largely
due to their short life) they hunt solo, That’s why Roger Hanlon has
under extreme risk of being eaten suggested artificial intelligence
themselves. Their likelihood of early developers would do well to study
death is too high for an evolutionary cephalopod cognition. He’s even
advantage in longevity. So instead speculated that the skin-morphing
they evolved to age rapidly, growing communicative ability of cuttlefish
fast and giving their all to a single – most spectacularly seen in Why-
mating season. That’s the poignant alla’s multicoloured multitudes – is
in a sense a form of ‘intelligence’,

Their intelligence likely arose
from needing to elude many predators

while seeking their own prey

paradox of cuttlefish life – unusually and might one day point the way to
high intelligence, but only a couple of pattern- or colour-changing fabrics
years in which to use it. and cosmetics.

For us it seems wrong and weird. Who knows where these kaleido-
But it suits them perfectly, and scopic, charismatic creatures may
underscores the mind-boggling gulf lead us? There’s still so much we don’t
between our nature and theirs. As know about giant Australian cuttlefish
invertebrates, they’re evolutionar- – certainly there will be plenty more
ily much further from us than any to astonish us. And surely the more
animal of comparative sentience. Our secrets of their intelligence and its or-
last common ancestor was a virtual- igins we uncover, the more we may
ly brainless worm, 600 million years hope to learn about our own place in
ago. This widely separate evolutionary the intricate web of nature.

That’s the Spirit

A New York distillery turns carbon dioxide into vodka. Instead of
using the typical fermentation process, the Air Co. machines run
on solar power, turning water and carbon dioxide emissions into

ethanol, which is distilled into vodka. ripleys.com

rdasia.com 69

DID YOU KNOW?

Stranger

THINGS
Every species has its peculiarities,
but some creatures are weirder than others
BY Andy Simmons
ILLUSTRATIONS BY ARMANDO VEVE
In the name of self-preservation, mating and
even lunch, many animals have developed
some curious – make that horrifying – habits.
Among the most extreme is the female praying
mantis biting the head off her lover, but there
are plenty of creatures that have pushed the
envelope of good taste in less murderous ways.
Check out a menagerie that’s so gross, other
beasts might shake their heads and declare,
“That’s disgusting!”

70 February 2020

71

READER’S DIGEST HAIRY FROG

EURASIAN If you learned of a frog
ROLLER BIRD that was constantly
breaking its bones,
Imagine you saw some people to you’d probably think,
whom you wanted to say hello, but Wow, that’s one careless
as you approached, they opened amphibian. But the
their mouths – and vomited on you. ten-centimetre hairy
You would give them a wide berth, frog of western Africa
right? In the case of young Eurasian knows what it’s doing.
roller birds, they have a good When threatened, it
reason for this rude behaviour: can contract muscles
they assume you are going to eat that are connected to
them. Rollers have been known to its hind claws, breaking
travel from Europe to central Asia, the bones. The frog
and along the way they encounter then thrusts the shards
countless snakes, rats and other through the underside
predators. When the young birds of its toe pads, turning
hurl their orange, putrid-smelling them into weapons.
intestinal fluid, it keeps the bad When the foe has been
guys at bay and alerts their vanquished, the bones
parents to potential trouble. retreat back into the
foot, where it’s believed
72 February 2020 the tissue around the
bony claws eventually
regenerates. Superhero
fans may recognise
this move. After all, the
creature is also known
as the Wolverine frog.

Stranger Things

HORNED SEA CUCUMBER
LIZARD
The sea cucumber’s slothlike speed should
The horned lizard, make it easy prey. But this bottom-feeder
found wandering drier possesses a secret weapon. When under threat
climates from Arizona by, say, a crab, some sea cucumber species shoot
to Guatemala, is a tasty out their guts – their intestines and respiratory
morsel. The morsel in tracts, and even their reproductive organs!
question, however, has – from their anuses. Believe it or not, certain
a neat trick to fend off predators find this appetising. As they dig in,
hawks, snakes, canines the sea cucumber hides under a rock or in the
and other hunters: it sand and plots its escape. Going on with life
shoots blood from ducts after you’ve literally spilled your guts isn’t easy,
in the corners of its eyes and afterward the sea cucumber finds itself in a
into the eyes and mouths kind of suspended animation for a few months,
of stunned predators, regenerating its organs and getting ready to
allowing the lizard to escape the next unsuspecting crab.
make a hasty retreat. The
blood can travel up to
1.2 metres and is thought
to contain a substance
that’s unpleasant for dogs
and coyotes.

BOMBARDIER BEETLE

This creature gets its name honestly: it fends off attackers by bombing
them with chemicals hot enough to burn human skin. The flying
1.2-centimetre beetle has two separate glands. One contains hydrogen
peroxide and hydroquinone, which can be engineered in a lab and used
commercially as a skin-bleaching agent. The other harbours a mixture of
enzymes. When the contents of the two glands are mixed, they create a
chemical that can reach a temperature of 100°C. This combination is then
shot out from a remarkably accurate nozzle-like opening located on the
rear of the beetle’s abdomen, an action it can repeat up to 20 times in a row
before running out of ammunition.

73

READER’S DIGEST XENOMORPH
WASP
HONEY BADGER
The 16.6-kilogram honey badger Remember the film
has been dubbed the most Alien? The title character,
fearless animal in the world for Xenomorph, injects its
its willingness to take on larger embryo into the body of
beasts, such as lions and buffalo. an astronaut. A few days
Aside from an incredibly powerful later ... BAM! A baby
jaw and thick, rubbery skin, the alien pops out of the
honey badger defends itself by poor guy’s chest. Well,
turning the pouch in its rear end about a year ago a
inside out to spray enemies with researcher in Australia
a musky, suffocating stench. This discovered a wasp that
action sends predators fleeing, injects its eggs into its
which is exactly what you would victim, such as a moth
do if someone you just met pulled caterpillar. As the eggs
the same stunt. Here’s another grow, they consume the
factoid: the honey badger usually caterpillar’s insides until
lives alone. Gee, wonder why? they burst out of its body
as fully formed larvae.
74 February 2020 It doesn’t end there.
Sometimes the
caterpillar survives
in a zombified state,
doomed to live out its life
protecting the new
communal cocoon until
the day the larvae
emerge as wasps. The
researcher, obviously a
sci-fi fan, dubbed the
wasp the Dolichogenidea
xenomorph. Think of it
as another sequel in the
Alien canon.

LIFE LESSON

Hitting Refresh
How to give your love a spring clean

BY Megan Haynes

ILLUSTRATION; GETTY IMAGES A fter being married for 27 the kids did their homework, Josh
years, Michelle and Josh* would play video games with them.
found they fought about Polarised into these roles, they both
everything. The tension thought the other was wrong – he was

had built up while the 50-somethings immature; she was rigid.

were raising their three children. After their kids were fully grown,

“I’m the checklist person; he’s the resentment remained, and they were

fun dad,” Michelle says, explaining left bickering about who would buy

that when she had an evening out milk or what to watch on TV. The

with friends, instead of making sure *NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED.

75

READER’S DIGEST

word ‘divorce’ began to come up in Doing an activity outside the norm
the heat of the moment, Michelle not only helps break people out of
says, but they weren’t really ready their tedium, it can also reinforce a
to split. As a last-ditch effort, two- couple’s bonds on an ongoing basis,
and-a-half years ago they attended says Cirocco. Cooking lessons can lead
a couples’ retreat to help save their to more shared time in the kitchen; a
marriage. Once there, they real- yoga seminar may turn into a mutual
ised they should have taken action morning practice; and dance classes
sooner – and more often. can become weekly excursions. “All of
those activities encourage that feeling
Not all couples fight, of course. of, ‘we’re investing in us’. ”
Some seethe in silence until they
combust, while others simply let And indeed, science has confirmed
themselves drift apart from a lack the importance of doing something
of investment in the relationship. new with your partner. In a series of
Around the house you may declutter studies spanning the last two dec-
your wardrobe, clear out the freezer ades, social psychology researcher
or wash the windows. Why not give Arthur Aron consistently found that
your relationship that same kind of couples who engage in novel expe-
much-needed spring clean? riences reported higher relationship
satisfaction afterwards. During these
BREAK OUT OF YOUR activities, he found the brain releas-
COMFORT ZONE es dopamine, commonly called the
‘love drug’ – the chemical present
“A lot of couples get into a rut,” says when people fall for each other.
marriage coach Grace Cirocco. “It’s
logistical – it’s making dinner, doing REMINISCE ABOUT
the laundry. There is usually very little OLD TIMES
time for the couple to just be together.”
Living in the past may not always be
To address this disconnect, Cirocco bad. A 2013 study from Queensland
says one important thing a couple can University reported that couples who
do once a year is learn something new shared a happy memory before dis-
together. “I had a couple – she was cussing a difficult issue were more
from Argentina – take a tango class likely to agree and show intimacy
as a nod to her culture,” says Cirocco. towards each other while they talked.
They loved the experience so much
that they continued their lessons, Remembering good times is
signed up for a dance competition and helpful, says psychologist Nicole
took a tango tour of Argentina. McCance, because the process of

76 February 2020

Hitting Refresh

sharing a life ends up changing what partners regularly reassess how they
we see when we look at each other. handle arguments.
Through the stressful managing of
work, family and the home, people Analysing data from a long-term,
can begin to associate their part- self-reported survey of more than
ners with struggle, and may even 3000 German couples, Johnson
view them as stress-inducing. “It’s concluded that people who fought
called classical conditioning,” says ‘constructively’ were more likely to
McCance, explaining that eventual- say they were satisfied in their rela-
ly our brains can have an automatic tionships a year later. For many, this
stress response even by just thinking meant taking time to understand
about our partner. their partners – asking for clarifica-
tion, posing additional questions,
Happy memories can be recalled listening through the entire argu-
often, but McCance recommends ment before chiming in – and staying
every once in a while couples should focused on the fight in front of them.
counteract the negative associations
in a more focused way by making None of that is easy though, admits
an event out of it, recreating their Johnson: humans are hard-wired to
first date (right down to sitting at the want to be right. “We have to think we
same table in the same restaurant) have a correct outlook on the world,”
or looking back through old photo he says, explaining that we choose this
albums. default position so we’re not question-
ing every decision we make. “Listing
“I met my husband online,” says out a litany of ways a partner has
McCance. “On our anniversary, we wronged you going back further and
read our old emails. It’s fun to think further fulfils this desire.”
back to that romantic time and giggle
over what we said.” In the weeks that Learning more productive ways of
follow, they joke and laugh more, she arguing was an important focus for
adds. “A sense of playfulness comes Michelle and Josh at their retreat.
back, a sense of wonder that’s often They were taught there’s no winner in
lost after the first year of dating.” a fight, and when to walk away. Now,
when she’s on the cusp of saying
DISCUSS HOW YOU FIGHT something nasty or mean-spirited,
Michelle stops, takes a break and
“Couples tend to handle conflict so regroups with Josh once they’re
poorly that they avoid it at all costs calmer and have had more time to
until things boil over,” says Mat- process their feelings.
thew Johnson, who studies relation-
ships. “At that point, it’s just going to The pair has since attended a sec-
be ugly.” To avoid this, he suggests ond couples’ getaway. “Our relation-
ship has gotten a second chance.”

77

READER’S DIGEST

TRAVEL

9 Ways to

UNPLUG

on Holiday
Without
Going Crazy

If you want to actually
relax during your holiday,

taking a digital detox is
key. Here’s how to do it
without losing your mind

BY Alexa Erickson time? Give them a few concrete ILLUSTRATION: GETTY IMAGES
reasons how technology can hurt
GET EVERYONE ON BOARD your health. Research suggests that
heavy technology users have a higher
You really need all travel companions risk of mental health problems and
who are going on the holiday to don’t sleep as well. Even the mere
agree on certain actions, says clinical presence of a mobile phone can be
psychologist Michael J. Breus. “A distracting enough so that people
digital detox won’t work if everyone don’t perform well on mental tasks,
does not participate.” like being mindful of staying in the
moment. Studies have also found
Having trouble getting your friends that constantly staying connected
and family to agree to limited screen actually works against your

78 february 2020

relationships, too, despite your well- SET CONSEQUENCES If you
meaning intentions.
‘cheat’, ask your friends or family to
GONE FISHIN’ Hang up your be accountable. “The consequence
is not meant to be punitive – rather,
metaphorical sign and let everyone just annoying,” says life coach Laurie
who is likely to email or text you Gerber. She suggests paying a dollar
know that you are going on an to a friend (or worse, your tween)
electronic diet for a week, Breus says. for each minute you spend online
At the office, you’ll want to set your during the detox. “The consequence
out-of-office on your email. But stop will get you back in the director’s
short of announcing on Facebook seat of your own life. It trumps the
that you’re heading out of town, as need for excuses, justifications and
that can raise some safety risks. blaming,” she says.

SET YOUR GOAL Not ready to go CAPTURE THE MOMENT WITH
A POLAROID, DISPOSABLE OR
cold turkey for your full holiday? Start DIGITAL CAMERA But how will
slowly by vowing to check emails only
in the morning and evening, then you remember that epic holiday on
leave your phone behind while you’re the Sunshine Coast, or hold onto
at the beach for the day. Maybe by the that special moment you and your
end of the week, you’ll be ready to be partner had at Milford Sound?
tech-free for 36 hours. Contrary to modern beliefs, your
phone isn’t the only answer to a
GET OVER YOUR FOMO Sure, quick photo snap. Before there were
mobile phones with built-in cameras,
you may be having some serious there were other types of cameras
FOMO – or fear of missing out – about that didn’t come with social media
what’s going on at home, but that’s notifications to distract you. And
exactly what you are trying to detox before that? You simply just kept
out of your life: the need to always the moment, the holiday, in your
be in-the-know. “The problem with memory, and stayed present. “When
FOMO is that you’re looking outwards you come off that frantic treadmill
instead of in,” says psychiatry and of checking emails, checking what’s
behavioural health specialist Darlene happening, and looking at other
McLaughlin. “When you’re so tuned people’s pictures, it’s an amazing
in to the ‘other,’ or the ‘better’ (in your experience. You let go of thinking
mind), you lose your authentic sense you have to make moments, or
of self. This constant fear of missing everything is critical, and return to a
out means you are not participating as very different relationship with time,
a real person in your own world.”
79

READER’S DIGEST

grow and hold onto new memories.
In fact, one US study found that when
volunteers walked in the woods after
learning something new, they were
more likely to retain it. This suggests
that quiet time is vital for optimising
brain function.

START SLOWLY GET A MAP Stop being a slave ILLUSTRATION: GETTY IMAGES
BY ONLY CHECKING
to Google Maps and get an old-
EMAILS IN fashioned paper map or guidebook.
THE MORNING While printed maps may seem a
AND EVENING thing of the past, they require you
and your fellow travellers to work
peace, presence and, ultimately, together – you must become a team,
your relationship with yourself,” solving problems together.
says Gerber.
TREAT YOURSELF A digital detox
KEEP YOURSELF BUSY (BUT
NOT TOO BUSY) Sightsee, cycle, might seem like a punishment for all
those hours you typically clock on
swim, enjoy longer meals and deep social media or respond to emails,
conversations. When you are actively but it’s truly a reward. The benefits are
engaged in something, you don’t endless, and you should celebrate all
need to fill a void by scrolling through that incredible self care you are giving
your social media channels. When it’s yourself. While on holiday, indulge
time for downtime, pick up that book in a spa day, treat yourself to a fancy
you’ve been wanting to read, or listen dinner or whatever it is that you can
to the sound of waves crashing. Much look forward to. “A digital detox is no
like a muscle, the brain requires different than a diet or food detox,”
recovery time in order to develop, says Gerber. “And just like when
you’ve quit something at some point
in your life, whether it was caffeine,
gluten or sugar, you can survive
this one. Once you see that you can
indeed live without internet and
social media, you can not only have a
better understanding of the level you
are addicted to it, but have more of a
say over it when you add it back in.”

80 february 2020

TALKS What’s New in RD Talks

Sit back and enjoy the audio versions of the most engaging
stories to have appeared in Reader’s Digest magazine.

AN ISLAND OF THE HUNT TO
WONDERS FIND KIESHA

Lord Howe Island Two homicide
is a pristine South detectives are
Pacific paradise, determined to solve
offering visitors the case of a little
an unspoilt and
enjoyable holiday girl whose
disappearance
experience. shocked a community.

FROM INTERNET FROM STREET
CHUMP TO KIDS TO ROYAL
CHAMP
An online con KNIGHTS
A heartwarming
goes wonderfully, story of how a caring
implausibly right teacher and the
when two Facebook noble game of chess
strangers come changed the lives of
troubled teenagers.
together.

O LISTEN GO TO:

w readersdigest.com.au/podcasts
www.readersdigest.co.nz/podcasts
www.rdasia.com/podcasts

READER’S DIGEST

LAUGHTER

THE BEST MEDICINE

Out of Line off, and tried again. “Don’t you know CARTOON: CHRIS WILDT. ILLUSTRATIONS: GETT Y IMAGES
He was barely able you’re just going to
There was a big sale to take another step get tossed out of the
at the electronics before an even bigger line again?”
superstore. People mob attacked him
queued up outside at and threw him out “Yeah, I know,” the
5am. At about 7.30, of the line again. man replied. “But if
there was a huge Undeterred, the guy you don’t let me get to
commotion when a got up and started the front of the queue,
short guy in khaki limping towards the I’ll never be able to
pants tried working front of the line a open the store.”
his way to the front of third time.
the line. Adapted from the book
“Are you crazy?” Life is a Joke, © 2017 by
He didn’t get asked one of the red- Gordon and John Javna
very far before the faced mob members.
mob grabbed him,
wrestled him out of
line, and threw him
into the carpark. 

The little guy got
up, brushed himself

Coat Check “Ridiculous,” said the waiter. “The
sleeves were far too short.” Reddit.com
One day a man’s overcoat was stolen
in a restaurant. “Did you see the Bad Match
person who took my coat?” the man
asked a passing waiter. DATE: I love car-chase action scenes.

“Yes, sir,” he replied. ME, A FRUIT-STAND VENDOR:
“What did he look like?”
I think we’re done here. @AbbieEvansXO
82 february 2020

Laughter

Roll Call Six months later, the two meet on
the street. “Why didn’t you come to
“Anybody here named Jeff?” see me about those fears you were
JEFF: “Yes.” having?” asks the psychiatrist.
GEOFF: “Yeos.”
“Because a bartender cured
MATT TOBEY, COMEDY WRITER me for only $10.”

Howl’s It Going? “How?”
“He told me to cut the legs
Q: Are you still seeing that werewolf off the bed.”
deliveryman?
A: Yes, he took a lycan to me. SUBMITTED BY MARILYN MILLER

ALEXANDRA PETRI

Sure Cure FELINE FUNNIES

A patient tells a psychiatrist that he’s How many cats walk by the
convinced there’s somebody living telephone pole with their
under his bed. ‘missing’ flyer on it?
Just another reason to teach
“Visit me for three days a week at your cat to read. @kendragaylord
$300 a visit, and you’ll be cured,” the
psychiatrist assures him.

The price tag is a little steep for the
patient, so he says he’ll think about it.

The difference between dog

people and cat people:

Dog people wish their

dogs were people.

Cat people wish they

were cats. @simonsinek

“I’m old-school. Instead of I would say that, ultimately,
ranting on social media, I just Pet Sematary is a film about
the importance of keeping
scream in people’s faces.” your cat indoors.

BRUDGER WINEGAR, COMEDIAN

83

PROFILE

RIGHT

Success starts with the right
idea and the conviction to stick to that idea.

It can also mean disrupting established
thinking, something property developer

Harry Triguboff understands well

BY Helen Signy

84 February 2020



READER’S DIGEST

n 1947, Harry Triguboff left his home in Tianjin,
China, and travelled to Australia with his older
brother, Joseph, to begin a new life. His parents,
themselves immigrants who fled Russia in the
post-Lenin era, remained in China. Yet, like
many refugees before and after him, and

Idespite his parents’ absence, Harry embraced
his new life in Australia.
Today, the self-made billionaire real estate developer
has changed the way Australians live. In the 1960s he
introduced high-density living to Sydneysiders. At 86,
‘High Rise Harry’ is worth somewhere in the vicinity
of A$15 billion, according to the latest Forbes rich list.
“My earliest memories are
of living in an apart- it would come back. We played putt-
ment. I was born in 1933 putt golf and went swimming. In
in Dalian in China and I summer we would go on donkeys.
My advice is, when you take a don-

grew up in Tianjin. We all lived in an key, first ask where his home is –

apartment, my parents, my brother never go past his home otherwise

and I, and a nanny. For my parents, he won’t carry on.

getting me a nanny was more im- I left China for Australia when I

portant than buying a house so they was 14 with my brother, Joseph, who

paid rent at that time. I don’t think was seven years older than me. I’m

anyone had much money but we all ashamed to say I didn’t find it hard.

lived extremely well – I don’t think I was looking to the future and my OPENING SPREAD; GETTY IMAGES
PHOTO: COURTESY OF HARRY TRIGUBOFF
there were any poor Jews in Tianjin. parents; they were in the past. I

In time, my father became wealthy, wanted to be able to cry but I didn’t.

and we got a bigger apartment and When we arrived, we didn’t know

had a cook and a gardener. That anyone. Joseph asked for a hotel

cook cooked us better Russian food and they showed us a pub. You got

than we could get anywhere else! a room on top of a pub, that’s what a

We spoke Russian at home and I hotel was in those days. The tallest

studied in English. It was a happy building in Sydney was only about

life. We used to play ten-pin bowl- ten floors.

ing – a man stood at the end of the Eventually we found the Jewish

alley and would lift the ball up and community and settled in. I went

86 February 2020

Harry and family in rickshaws in Tianjin, China. He is in the front with sunglasses

to The Scots College and after that couldn’t finish. I was sick and tired
I went to the University of Leeds in of it so I threw them out and finished
England to study textile engineer- it myself. That was my first building
ing. My father had started a textiles experience. If you take something
factory in Israel – my parents were on, you must decide if you can man-
never allowed to come to Australia. age to finish it. I paid off my home by
I worked with him for a while and running a taxi fleet and also work-
then went to South Africa for one ing on a milk run.
year, and came back to Australia
in 1960. I WAS 27 AND WORKING AS a real
estate agent when a friend of my
By then, my brother had bought friend’s father suggested we should
me a block of land in Roseville, in start building flats. I thought, That
Sydney’s north shore, and I was pay- would be very good. Together with
ing rent elsewhere, so I thought, Why my friend, I bought a block of land
not build a house on my own land? I and we built eight apartments.
got a builder, but they got stuck and

87

READER’S DIGEST

“Of course,
I have had
problems over
the years,
but if you have
a problem, you
must solve it
immediately”

We borrowed money from A young Harry in his school PHOTO: COURTESY OF HARRY TRIGUBOFF
the ANZ bank. The bank uniform in 1949
manager said if you get the
building up to the roof, I was probably the best time of my
will give you more money. life, I enjoyed myself very much. I
We got the building up to the had a woman coming into the house
roof. every day to help. She came about
8am and left at two or three, and I
After that I built my sec- would come home at 5pm.
ond block of flats, this time
with 18 flats. It was in Meriton One of my daughters is an excel-
Street in Gladesville in Sydney’s lent cook, and has brought up three
west. My company, Meriton, was wonderful children, who are all in
formed in 1963, when I was 30. the business. My other daughter
We’ve built over 75,000 residential is interested in business and has
dwellings since then. become a rabbi. We’re still very close
and we all live in the same street.
Of course, I have had problems
over the years, but if you have a
problem, you must solve it immedi-
ately. You will always have problems.

But problems sometimes work out
for the best. When my first wife left
me with two children, you would
have thought it would be a shatter-
ing experience, but it wasn’t for me.
My girls were just ten and 11 and it

88 february 2020

The Right Idea

Now I have two grandsons, aged 29 to build means they must often
and 26, who are involved in the busi- spend time travelling and they have
ness, too. to be able to fix the house them-
selves.
I STARTED OUT AS a textile engi-
neer. I got a job but I saw there was Apartments are usually in a better
no future in textiles manufactur- position than houses. They often
ing in this country, so that was fin- have shops, supermarket and a
ished. Then I worked for a while at childminding centre. You’re not in
the University of New South Wales control of an apartment like you are
in the textile department, but I re- with a house, you have strata rules,
alised there wasn’t much future in but it’s very convenient to live there.
that either so I left and eventually And the real beauty of apartments is
the department disappeared. that they are easily lettable. I have
lots of people renting. They never
I looked around at what other peo- have to fix anything, as there is a
ple were doing. There were already manager to take care of it for them.

“To be successful, the most important
thing is to do what you are good at,
do what you like, and make sure you are

surrounded by people you like”

residential apartments here, but I ALL MY CAREER I have depended
made them a big thing. Then I intro- on my subcontractors. When I was
duced serviced apartments. I offered building that first block of flats,
Australia something that wasn’t my foreman was no good, he was a
there before. I tried to build hotels drunk. So I went looking for a brick-
once but it was too early. There was layer and he became my foreman
no money to be made. as well as bricklayer. The bricklayer
was Ken McDonald from Aberdeen
Australians have always had a [Scotland]. His children think he
dream to own a home. Today, they has a funny accent like my children
really can’t afford a comfortable think I have a funny accent. The
home, they build something that’s important thing about Ken was that
not the home they dreamed of, it’s he could manage people and man-
just a small dwelling about the same age people laying bricks. We stuck
size as a flat. Where they can afford
89

READER’S DIGEST

together for 30 years and some mem- been with Meriton for as long as I
bers of his family still work for me. have. That’s success for me – that is my
One of his sons, Keith, is managing experience of the building industry.
a team of bricklayers on my sites. His
nephew is a plumber with me, too. To be successful, the most impor-
We all have the same culture. We tant thing is to do what you are good
build fast and well. We always pay at, do what you like, and make sure
properly. you are surrounded by people you
like. For me, that is building apart-
That’s the key – to surround your- ments and serviced apartments.
self with people that you like and get Success depends on the idea being
on with. Some of my employees have right.”

Wedding Belles

A disgruntled bride-to-be known only as ‘Susan’ had to cancel her
dream wedding just four days before it was scheduled to take place,

because guests refused to pay the CAD$1500 ‘cash gift’ required
to attend. The Canadian bride and her fiance only had a budget of
$15,000. However, after visiting a psychic who told them to go with
the most expensive option available, they decided on an extravagant
ceremony, which cost around $60,000. And who better to ask than
their family and friends to make their dream come true? Sadly, the
idea of paying a hefty fee just to attend didn’t really appeal to a lot of

people – and only eight paid up. dailymail.co.uk

From swigging beer at a football game to doing her weekly food
shop to lifting weights, an Adelaide woman is wearing her lace
white wedding dress everywhere. An avid environmentalist,
Tammy Hall, 43, is so determined to get her money’s worth from
her bespoke bridal gown that she has worn it on commuter trains,

while cooking, and to chop wood. odditycentral.com

The highlight of the recent 2019 New York Pet Fashion Show was the
‘royal pup-ital wedding’ between two chihuahuas, namely Meghan
Barkle and Harry, Prince of Tails. The happy couple now look forward

to a long life of walks and watching Petflix together. ripleys.com

90 february 2020

QUOTABLE QUOTES

I AM CERTAIN You never go wrong
OF ONE THING when you take
– IF WE DO NOT the high road –
STRIVE TO LOVE it’s less crowded
ONE ANOTHER, up there.
AND TO LOVE
OUR PLANET GAYLE KING,

AS MUCH TV SHOW HOST
AS WE LOVE
OURSELVES, Choose your favourite spade and dig a small,
deep hole, located deep in the forest or a
THEN NO desolate area of the desert or tundra. Bury
FURTHER your mobile phone and then find a hobby.
PROGRESS
IS POSSIBLE NICK OFFERMAN, COMEDIAN
HERE ON
EARTH. Don’t be scared
if you don’t do
TIM FL ANNERY, things in the
right order …
AUTHOR AND I didn’t think I’d
have dessert
ENVIRONMENTALIST before breakfast
today, but hey,
PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES it turned out I REALLY
that way and LIKE
BEING
I wouldn’t ALIVE.
change a thing.
EMMA STONE, ACTOR
MINDY KALING, COMEDIAN

91

READER’S DIGEST

ALL IN A DAY’S WORK

HUMOUR ON THE JOB

“The ringing sound is in the key
of B flat, so I use it to tune my cello
half a tone lower.”

SUBMITTED BY KATHLEEN CAHILL

Room for Growth

My last promotion entitled me

to a bigger cubicle. Since I was

comfortable where I was, I declined

the larger space, but my boss

insisted and had maintenance

workers expand my cubicle by a

“It’s a deal. You’ll stop saying whole 45 centimetres.
cosourcing, and I’ll stop saying
Once the work was completed,
guesstimate.”
my boss stopped by and with a

benevolent grin announced,

Trash Talk “Now, this is more befitting of

your new status.” inc.com

The best part of being a flight Playing It by Ear CARTOON: ROLLI; ILLUSTRATION: GETTY IMAGES

attendant has to be when you walk On our daily commute to work,
my husband stopped at our usual
the aisle saying “trash” to cafe for coffee. As he got back into
the car, I noticed something odd.
everyone’s face. @louisvirtel “Turn your head and look at me,”
I said. “You have a cotton ear bud
Pretty Sharp sticking out of your ear.”

A musician friend is always upbeat. As he pulled it out, he replied,
But when she developed ringing in “No wonder the guy in there
one ear, I was concerned it might asked me if I was getting good
overwhelm even her. When I reception.”
asked whether her condition was
especially annoying to a musician, SUBMITTED BY LINDA TAULBEE
she shook her head.

“Not really,” she said cheerfully.

92 february 2020

Watch Your Back All In a Day’s Work

Former US Ambassador and diplomat JOB-ADVERTISEMENT
Richard Holbrooke was a brilliant PHRASES TRANSLATED
but polarising figure, Walter Isaacson
wrote in The New York Times Book “DYNAMIC COMPANY”
Review. “When someone once = Our leadership keeps
commented that [Holbrooke] was his
own worst enemy, a national security changing priorities.
advisor he had worked with snapped, “YOU’LL BE ABLE TO CONTROL
‘Not as long as I’m around.’”
YOUR OWN SUCCESS”
Yes and No = You’ll be working
on commission.
A vendor’s representative met with
my company’s executive staff. After “FUN ENVIRONMENT”
an exasperating afternoon in which = May involve quasi-mandatory
the only opinions expressed were
those of our owner, the rep shouted, basketball or touch rugby.
“Are you all just a bunch of yes-men?” “EXCELLENT OPPORTUNITY
TO BUILD YOUR PORTFOLIO”
“Of course not!” one of the
executives replied. “If the owner = We’re not going to pay
wants us to say no, we’re no-men!” you well, or at all.

cbsnews.com “ABLE TO WORK WITH
MINIMAL SUPERVISION”
Motor-vation = You’ll be the one we blame
when something goes wrong
My boss arrived at work in
a brand-new Lamborghini. “A MARKET LEADER”
= Recently started
“Wow,” I said. “That’s an making a profit.
amazing car.”
lifehacker.com
He replied, “If you work
hard, put all your hours in,
and strive for excellence,
I’ll get another one next year.”

Boredpanda.com

93

READER’S DIGEST

Robert Molnár

MAYOR

Árpád Bella

BORDER GUARD

94 february 2020

IN THE NEWS

THE
BORDER
GUTAHRED,
MAYOR,
AND THE

WALL

The story of two Hungarians: a soldier who helped
bring down the Iron Curtain, and a politician who
protested the return of barbed wire 26 years later

BY Adinda Akkermans and Catrien Spijkerman

ADAPTED FROM THE IRON CURTAIN PROJECT

95

READER’S DIGEST

Thirty years ago, Hungary became the first country
to break open the Iron Curtain. Some 600 people
crossing into Austria formed a prelude to the fall of
the Berlin Wall and the unification of Europe.
A generation later, Hungary again closed itself off
with a fence. However, this time, the fence wasn’t
there to keep people in but to keep them out.

1989 the coffee”. Nevertheless, he gives PHOTO: MUDRA LÁSZLÓ
THE MAN WHO HELD HIS FIRE them what they ask for. He complies
because he cannot let go of the story,
Árpád Bella was an unlikely hero even after three decades.

Gin the fall of Communism As a 16 year old, Árpád loved trees,
erman chancellor Angela flowers and playing football. He
Merkel calls him “a great wanted to learn about biology and
man”. At conferences and maybe become a gardener or forest
celebrations, he is dubbed the ranger. But his best friend Joska had
“hero of peace”. Árpád Bella, 72, owes a better idea: they should become
his fame to the Hungarian border. soldiers. Árpád liked the sound of
that. As a border guard or police
Árpád never asked for the journal- officer, he would spend most of his
ists from Australia, the camera crews time outside.
from the US and Japan. He does not
care for the way they ask him to walk But after three days of tests, Joska
around his home in the Hungari- was rejected and Árpád was accept-
an town of Sopron or to “just pour ed. On his first workday, he was
assigned a post at the border cross-
ing. Cars and asphalt, not birds and
plants, would be his work domain.

Árpád had always heard that West-
erners were bad people who wanted
to invade Hungar y. The countr y
needed guards at the border to pro-
tect against those evil people.

At his new job, he discovered it was
a lie. His commander urged Árpád
to be polite to people from the West.
After all, they were bringing money
into the country. They had friendly

96 February 2020

Árpád Bella at the border in 1989 as hundreds of East Germans
push their way into Austria

PHOTO: DIRK EISERMANN/L AIF/REDUX faces, drove nice cars, and made crossing will be the site of a Pan-
small talk. European Picnic, where Hungarians
and Austrians will roast sausages
Árpád quickly realised that the and have a drink together. A group of
barbed wire was not to protect about 20 politically engaged enthu-
Hungarians but to keep them inside siasts from Sopron and Debrecen in
the ‘Communist utopia’. eastern Hungary organised the pic-
nic as a statement. It would show the
IT’S AUGUST 19, 1989, and Árpád, world that you can do whatever you
42, is hoping he can leave work on want on the Hungarian border.
time. He and his wife Anna have
plans to celebrate their 18th wedding Hungarian citizens were given
anniversary with their two daughters passports in 1988, which allowed
and Anna’s parents. them to travel freely. But little had
changed in other East European
But first, work needs to be done. countries. Poland was plagued by
Árpád has risen to the rank of Lieu- poverty, the people of Romania were
tenant Colonel and is responsible for terrorised by Nicolae Ceausescu, and
the local border post, where guards tens of thousands of East Germans
check people and goods leaving and were trying to flee the GDR dicta-
entering the country, and look for torship every month. The picnic was
contraband. intended to inspire the opposition in
other countries.
Today, Árpád’s job will be more
complicated than usual: the border 97

READER’S DIGEST

Árpád has the schedule for the The Germans fall into both cate-
picnic. At three in the afternoon, a gories. There are hundreds of them,
delegation of local dignitaries and which undeniably makes them a
journalists will ‘officially’ open the threat. Árpád has only five soldiers.
border and the picnic will begin.
At six, it will be closed again, and He makes a decision: no shots will
everything will go back to normal. be fired.

However, one thing troubles Árpád: When the lock breaks, Árpád watch-
the national commander told him that es the East Germans pass through
groups of East Germans might attempt the open gates. On the Austrian side,
to cross into Austria. They came to people are crying and falling into each
Hungary on holiday using temporary other’s arms. He hears loud cheers;
visas, then refused to go back. They people are opening champagne bot-
might take advantage of the picnic to tles. Johann is furious. ‘Why didn’t you
get into Austria, the commander said, warn me?’ he snaps at Árpád. Árpád’s
then travel to West Germany. soldiers just stand there, despondent.

It is a beautiful August day at the That afternoon, 661 East German
border post. At one o’clock Árpád refugees crossed the border. It was the
checks in with his counterpart on largest exodus of East Germans since
the Austrian side, Johann Göltl. The the construction of the Berlin Wall.
two men have known each other for
years and get along well. On Johann’s When Árpád arrived home, he was
side of the border, people have start- determined not to tell his family;
ed to gather. The mood of the crowd the anniversary celebration should
and the guards is cheerful: it is time continue as normal. But they had
to celebrate. been watching the drama unfold on
television.
But before the delegation can start
the ceremony, a large group of deter- “What’s going to happen to us when
mined East Germans on the Hungari- you go to prison?” his wife asked.
an side rush the gate and start pushing Anna was right. What he did – or
on it. On the Austrian side, relatives rather failed to do – could send him
and bystanders pull on the barrier. to prison for five years.

Árpád knows what is expected of Árpád was reprimanded for his
him: to stop the East Germans. He can actions but was not charged with a
command his men to use their weap- crime. He was given a hard time by
on against illegal border crossers only some of his colleagues, but when the
if they use physical violence against Iron Curtain fell, he was treated as
the guards or form a group of more a hero.
than three people.
He quickly became one of the
symbols of a united Europe with open
borders.

98 February 2020