Reader's Digest India July2020

Reader’s Digest

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst— A nurse noticed a golfer

for they are sticking to their diets. pacing up and down the
hall outside an operating
—foodreference.com room where another

walk. “Praise the A North Korean judge golfer, who had a golf
Lord!” he said again, leaves the courtroom, ball lodged in his throat,
and the horse began laughing hysterically. was being treated.
to trot. “Praise the
Lord! Praise the “What’s so funny?” “Is he your relative?”
Lord!” he yelled, asks his friend outside. the nurse asked.
and the horse broke
into a gallop. Bill was “Oh, I just heard the “No,” said the golfer.
funniest political joke,” “It’s my ball.”
replies the judge. —swingbyswing.com

enjoying his ride so “Tell me!” 

much that he almost “I can’t—I just Reader’s Digest will pay

didn’t notice the cliff gave someone life for your funny anecdote
he and the horse were in prison for it!” or photo in any of our
about to go over. Bill —TheCountyJudge humour sections. Post it
shouted “AMEN!” at on reddit.com to the editorial address, or
email: [email protected]

the top of his lungs,

and the horse stopped

right at the edge of SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED
the cliff. Relieved,

Bill said, “Phew!

Praise the Lord!”

—Z.S. via rd.com

Consider this ...
... Mac and cheese
implies the existence
of PC and cheese.
— @glamoureptile

joleen zubek ... Baby Yoda implies The book I ordered from IKEA arrived.
the existence of a — @DitzMcGeee
Sporty Yoda, Scary
Yoda, Ginger Yoda readersdigest.in 53
and Posh Yoda.
— @HireMeImFunny

Reader’s Digest OTHER LIVES

WoThme an
Who Won a

Pot of Gold

A serial winner of consumer contests tells
her amazing story

By Indu Balachandran
illustration by Keshav Kapil

BEFORE me was a blank entry form Chennai. The letter from the popular
household retailer simply said “You
for a slogan contest: “I love shopping at have won one of the top 15 prizes in
Vivek’s because ...” Vivek’s Diwali Mela”. A grand line-up
of household appliances greeted us.
I filled in the empty space with an We wondered excitedly which prize
off-the-cuff rhyme: our slogan won. My daughter had set
her sights on a mini Solidaire TV; a VIP
Every time I watch TV, Strolly suitcase was my big hope.
Grind, cook, clean or bake,
I keep saying, secretly, With each drum roll, the prizes went
“Thank you, Vivek!” out—crockery sets, gleaming TV sets
My daughter counted out the words. and washing machines. Once a family of
“Make ‘every time’ one word, Ma, and eight rushed to the stage when a name
it’s 15 words exactly!” came up. The audience whooped—
This was in September 1997. Two perhaps ours would come next!
months later, we jostled for space in
a packed hall of excited families in

54 july 2020

readersdigest.in 55

Reader’s Digest

Over 400 prizes were handed out. Time not one of them involved any luck or
for the Big Three: all of them gold—yes, lottery (much as everyone says, “Oh but
real 22-carat gold. you have such luck at contests!”). Sure,
I may have been ‘lucky’ to have had a
Two women wheeled in a grand Dad who encouraged us three sisters
display: chains, bangles, earrings. to write Ogden Nash-type nonsense
The cheering was deafening as the rhymes as kids. He also sang this witty
judges announced the prizes: for TV jingle he’d heard in England in the
3rd place—250 grams of gold jewel- ’60s: Clean your teeth with Pepsodent/
lery; 2nd place—500 grams of gold. You’ll wonder where the yellow went!
My daughter and I nearly stopped I was only about seven then, but I was
breathing. “This is like the Miss World hooked. A lifelong pursuit of finding
Contest,” she whispered, when you fun with words began. Small wonder
pray your name is not announced— then that I made a career in advertising.
who wants to be a runner-up?
My earliest ever win for writing was
Finally, first prize. Who in this vast in college. A hilarious typo about our
hall of shrieking people would it be? faculty members in our graduation
And then we heard it. My name. We invitation—‘Address by faulty mem-
won! We actually won one kilo of gold! bers’—got me ₹150 from Reader’s Di-
gest for the humour column College
The beaming organizers even had a Rags. When I joined an ad agency, I be-
man, carrying a huge gun, escort us all came suddenly aware of contests and
the way home with our winnings. We prizes and sent in entries, usually in my
drove home in an advanced state of children’s names (for ‘luck’!). Picnic or
lunacy, and ironically, only one thing hike/ Go anywhere you like/ With your
registered clearly: I got my trolley bag. BSA Champ bike! would’ve been re-
Vivek’s had packed our shiny loot in a jected as too cheesy by my own clients,
big (and free!) VIP suitcase. but it won my happy daughter, then 10,
her first two-wheeler. When Health &
25 WINS, AND Glow launched their stores, I sent in
COUNTING four entries (all rhyming, of course).
The 2nd prize was free air tickets for
Some people win at beauty pageants. two to the Maldives. My son and hus-
Others, in politics. I am happy to say I band were off to Malé that very month.
win consumer contests. In the course
of pursuing my entirely middle-class, Soon, I was everybody’s favourite
dream pastime, I’ve nabbed 25 prizes relative. Aunts and cousins badgered
so far, including a crash helmet, a mi- me to “please just write me a line”. One
crowave oven, gift hampers, light fix- aunt was particularly annoyed that my
tures, air tickets, a backpack, flasks, slogan for a department store won her
cash for a shopping spree ... even two
tickets to the movie Iron Lady. And no,

56 july 2020

only a dozen teaspoons. But not my
sister Bhanu: She called frantically
from Bengaluru, at the start of a Vir Das
stand-up show—to “quickly send any
one-liner” to put in a box. Off went this
by SMS: I was offered a job as a babysit-
ter. But who wants to sit on babies? At
the show’s end, Vir Das declared the
big winner: my ecstatic sister. And she
got her first iPad.

photo courtesy: indu balachandran A MIDDLE-CLASS The author (right) with her son
ADDICTION Kanishkaa after their Maruti-car win

Last year, my son and I were at Vivek’s, higher—a mother wrote for her son!
looking for a new TV set. A poster That seemed totally in line with good
caught my eye: Contest! Well, lightning Indian family norms.
never strikes the same place twice, but
hey, that gold win was 20 years ago. Which brings me to why I never let a
I secretly wrote out my entry, but contest go without trying. Most people
sent it in under my unsuspecting son who hear of my wins exclaim, “I never
Kanishkaa’s name this time. win anything”, but that’s probably be-
cause they never sent an entry in the
One day in April, the bell rang. Two first place, certain that it’s all fake, it’s
beaming executives from Vivek’s were too much work or that they’re just not
shaking the hand of a bewildered ‘lucky’. I’m not a lucky person either—
Kanishkaa at the door, with an invita- I’ve never won at housie in my life. I
tion for winning ‘one of the top prizes.’ have a trick or two since I write for a
On prize day, the suspense nearly killed living, but many of them don’t work.
us. Ok, the first prize—a flat worth But, the adrenaline rush of wishing for
₹25 lakhs—went to a farmer from the results is indescribable. In that hall
Chinglepet. When my son’s name was of excited families, I saw what every
announced for 2nd prize, our hearts one of us had in common—a middle-
stopped altogether—a Maruti car! class delight in seeing the word ‘free,’ an
abiding trust in a family store and the
Panicking, my son grabbed my enormous optimism of ‘I can win this
hand dragging me on to the stage. The too!’—as the drums roll and we wait for
crowd stopped roaring temporarily. our names over hopeful cheers.
Terrified of being asked what he wrote,
my son blurted: “Actually it’s my Mom
here who wrote a slogan, not me ...”
The applause went several decibels

readersdigest.in 57

Reader’s Digest

What Goes In

Must

Come

Out

Healthy bowel movements mean
a healthy you. Here's how
to avoid or fix problems

by Lisa Bendall with Naorem Anuja

58 july 2020

HEALTH

readersdigest.in 59

Reader’s Digest

here are many good Second, if there is blood in your stool. illustration by sam island
reasons to improve your Third, if there is a loss of appetite and
bowel movements. For consequently an appreciable loss in
starters, maintaining a weight. Under all these circumstances,
healthy bowel routine you must go to a doctor and get your
keeps your pelvic problem investigated,” says Setya.
muscles fit and your Don’t ignore symptoms like fever, pain
or dehydration either. Use our guide
Ttime on the toilet brief. below to make your bowel movements
It helps prevent chronic the best they can be.
constipation and diarrhoea, along with
secondary problems like haemorrhoids, Foods That Help Regularity
tissue tears and unpredictable stools.
Many of the lifestyle changes that The high sorbitol content in dried
promote defecation, such as eating fruits such as prunes, figs and dates
fibre and getting exercise, also reduce acts as a natural laxative. So does flax-
your risk of colorectal cancer. seed. Fresh pears and apples some-
times do the trick. Eating breakfast
Is there such a thing as too many can increase your colon activity and
number twos? What about movements trigger a bowel movement. Dietary
that make only rare appearances? fibre is important for your bowel
“There’s a huge range of what’s movements. Because it isn’t digested,
considered normal,” says Dr Dina Kao, a it bulks up and softens stool, making it
University of Alberta gastroenterologist. easier to pass. Most of us get just half
Some of us are on the throne three of the fibre that we require.
times a day, while others poop once
every few days. There’s no need to You can also choose cereals with
worry about the frequency of your added fibre. Psyllium is a popular
bowel movements if your stool appears supplement, but watch out for inulin
normal and you feel well. which triggers a sore stomach in some
people. Whitney Hussain, a registered
“In India, most people visit a doctor dietician in Vancouver, Canada, who
for what they consider is constipation specializes in gastrointestinal disorders,
or a feeling of incomplete evacuation,” suggests adding fibre to your diet
says Dr Ashwini Setya, a gastroentero- gradually to prevent gas and bloating.
logist and programme director at “Just have one serving of a higher-fibre
Delhi’s Max Super Speciality Hospital. food, and slowly increase it each day.
Spread the fibre throughout the day,
While not all changes are cause rather than having it all at once.”
for worry, there are some red flags
you should not dismiss. “The first Says Delhi-based clinical nutritionist
is if someone experiences a recent Lovneet Batra, “Ensure that you eat five
change or alteration in bowel habits.

60 july 2020

servings of different kinds of vegetables. GET YOUR BODY
This dietary requirement is fairly easy MOVING TO KEEP YOUR
to achieve for us, as traditional Indian
meals usually include 2 to 3 servings BOWELS MOVING.
of vegetables. Also, make sure you
incorporate two servings of fruits in Foods and Drinks to Forsake
your daily diet.” Stressing on the need
to eat wholegrains and healthy fats, Processed foods containing refined
Batra says, “To delete calories from grain, such as white flour, may have a
our diets, most people tend to cut longer shelf life, but they won’t do you
out carbohydrates and fat, and resort any favours in the fibre department.
to protein-heavy meals and low-fat They’re also often higher in unhealthy
dressings. But, to avoid constipation fats, a common constipation
and boost gut health you need to eat trigger. White rice, as opposed to
whole grains and incorporate healthy its wholegrain brown counterpart,
fats such as ghee and coconut oil.” can be another culprit. Carbonated
beverages may give you gas and
Liquid Intake bloating, as can certain foods like
cabbage, onions and lentils.
Without enough fluid, your stool will
be dry and hard. Other signs that “While alcohol may or may not affect
you probably need more water—or your bowel movement, it definitely af-
other sources of fluid, such as milk, fects your digestion and impacts your
juice, soup and tea—include dry lips liver. Non-vegetarian food, bereft of
and mouth, dark urine and urinat-
ing fewer than four times a day. The
ideal amount of hydration is different
for everyone and depends on factors
like your body size and activity level.
Many people report urgent bathroom
visits after their morning brew, but both
regular and decaffeinated coffee appear
to have the same effect. The warmth
could be playing a role in speeding up
the system. Coffee also contains about
100 different compounds, one or more
of which may trigger the production of
stomach acid and the release of diges-
tive hormones, and increase activity in
the large intestine.

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Reader’s Digest

fibre, may also lead to constipation,”
says Setya.

Candies and diet drinks sweetened
with sorbitol and other sugar alcohols,
such as xylitol, can also have you run-
ning for the bathroom.

Mindful Eating Helps HORMONAL SHIFTS
CAN AFFECT YOUR
How you eat is just as important as what BOWELS AS YOU AGE.
you eat. Batra suggests that our food eat-
ing patterns could be adding to our gut muscles. This helps push digestive
issues. “Most of us do not put food first waste through the body.”
or practise mindful eating. Our hectic
lifestyle means that we often push meal- Overtraining is thought to cause
times back, to accommodate work and bowel symptoms like flatulence and
deadlines.” Her advice: Chew your food loose poops in some people, especially
properly, take time to savour your food if they’re exercising intensely in a hot
and avoid erratic meal timings. Post- environment, but that’s rare. Want to
poning a meal or snack can lead to bloa- reduce the risk of ‘runner’s diarrhoea’,
ting. Avoid gulping your food or drinking possibly caused by alterations in
through a straw, which can cause you to intestinal hormone levels and blood
swallow air and make you gassy. Same flow, and the bouncing of internal
with talking a lot during a meal. organs? Avoid ibuprofen, energy bars
and coffee before running, and wear
Get Active loose clothing that doesn’t constrict
your abdomen.
You need to keep your body moving in
order to keep your bowels moving. Stay Calm
Regular physical activity, such as a
daily brisk walk, can help prevent Anxiety and stress have an impact on
constipation. Bengaluru-based Dr Issac your poops. The gut literally has a mind
Mathai, founder and medical director,
SOUKYA International Holistic Health
Centre, recommends the same. “Mild
to moderate exercise increases blood
flow towards the muscles and digestive
tract, which can help move food
through it. Exercise also raises the heart
rate, which reduces intestinal
sluggishness by stimulating the

62 july 2020

Health

of its own—it’s lined with millions of teaspoon at bedtime with warm water.
nerve cells that make up what’s known This remedy helps improve vision,
as the enteric nervous system—and it immunity and has anti-ageing benefits
sends signals to the brain, and vice versa. too,” says Mathai. “Castor oil can also
That’s why your feelings of anxiety can help treat constipation—one teaspoon
produce cramping and diarrhoea. Con- of pure castor oil, or processed with
versely, research has found that psycho- herbs, taken at bedtime, normally helps
logical strategies to reduce stress can solve constipation troubles,” he adds.
improve these bowel symptoms in peo-
ple who have functional disorders like Before resorting to drugstore laxatives
irritable bowel syndrome. Their brains to relieve constipation, consider lifestyle
are more sensitive to gut discomfort, and improvements such as increasing your
it’s heightened under stress. fluid and fibre intake, getting more
exercise and avoiding foods that plug
Our Bodies’ Chemistry you up. “If this doesn’t work, laxatives,
such as psyllium supplementation, stool
Hormone fluctuations also seem to affect softeners or polyethylene glycol, may be
your gut. About half of premenopausal necessary,” says Dr Carlo Fallone, a
women who aren’t on birth control get gastroenterologist at McGill University
constipation or diarrhoea depending on Health Centre in Montreal. “In general,
where they are in their monthly cycle. one wants to avoid prolonged use of
Hormones during pregnancy serve to agents that can damage the colon, such
relax muscle contractions. “It may be a as senna products.” Senna, made from
factor in why a lot of women get consti- the leaves and fruit of a plant, stimulates
pation in their third trimester,” says bowel activity. But eventually it can
Dr Geoffrey Turnbull, a gastroenterolo- prevent your system from doing its job
gist at Dalhousie University in Halifax, naturally and shouldn’t be used for more
Canada. Both men and women experi- than a few days.
ence hormonal shifts as we get older, and
these are thought to be a potential in- Understand Adverse Effects
fluence on the decreasing diversity and
robustness of our microbiome (the All kinds of drugs, from antidepressants
microorganisms that live inside the to narcotics to blood pressure pills,
human body) as we age. list diarrhoea or constipation among
potential side effects.
Try to Keep It Natural
Setya advises against using strong
If you are having trouble with bowel purgatives (which completely purge
movements, natural laxatives can get you your system). Laxatives such as isabgul
back on track. “Try natural laxatives are better alternatives that should help
such as triphala choornam—take one with normal stool.

—WITH INPUTS FROM KRITIKA BANERJEE

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Reader’s Digest

64 july 2020 Photograph by Joleen Zubek

DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

I WAS

SCAMMED

BY MY

BEST
FRIEND

She swindled me out of $92,000,
forcing me into bankruptcy and
destroying my once sunny outlook.

But I finally got justice

By Johnathan Walton

from HUFFPOST.COM

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Reader’s Digest

I
fell hard for one of the oldest cons
in the book. But this scheme wasn’t Today, she’s in jail, probably won- previous spread (inset) and this page: courtesy JOHNATHANWALTON.COM
cooked up by some fictional Nigerian dering how on earth she became the
prince soliciting me through a sketchy victim of one of her own victims.
email. I fell under the spell of an
immensely lovable woman who Allow me to explain.
inserted herself into my life and She introduced herself to me as
became my best friend. She was also Mair Smyth in May 2013, when she
an international con artist on the run. joined a group of angry neighbours in
my living room to discuss what to do
She snared me in an age-old con about losing access to our building’s
called the Inheritance Scam, ultimately swimming pool because of a legal spat
bilking me out of nearly $1,00,000. She with a neighbouring building.
simultaneously destroyed my sense of “I can help,” she told us. “My
self and darkened my once joyful out- boyfriend is a lawyer who can get the
look. As she was ruining my life, she pool back!”
was also scamming dozens of others I liked her immediately. We all did.
around the world by impersonating She was brash. Funny. Intelligent and
psychics, mortgage brokers, psycholo- outspoken. Ironically, for someone
gists, lawyers and travel agents and who turned out to be a liar and a con
even pretending to be a cancer victim. artist, she came across as a woman
who would always ‘tell it like it is’.
She was a true queen of the con,
using disguises and plastic surgery to
alter her appearance. I was a reality
TV producer, working on shows such
as American Ninja Warrior and Shark
Tank, and I never saw through her
masterful performances. She might
have gotten away with cheating many
more people if she hadn’t turned me
into a vigilante. I started my own in-
vestigation, uncovered other victims
and helped bring her to justice.

66 july 2020

Drama in Real Life

Soon Mair became more than just a
neighbour or even a close friend. She,
my husband (right) and I were like family.

Constitution,” she said. “See that sig-
nature at the bottom? That’s my great-
uncle’s.” I had no idea that, like her
shoes, that tale was fake.

Mair brought me Irish tea and pas-
tries and regaled me with stories of
how when she was a young girl, her

OVER SEVERAL MONTHS,
I LENT MAIR $15,000.
I WASN’T WORRIED.
SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND.

She also came across as extremely grandmother, who was supposedly in
wealthy. She wore expensive Jimmy the Irish Republican Army, would take
Choo shoes and once showed me her her to the top of a bridge and teach
closet filled with more than 250 pairs. her how to hurl Molotov cocktails
I later discovered they were all fake. down on British soldiers. I was capti-
vated and horrified.
After our initial meeting in my
apartment that night, Mair invited When I tearfully confided in her
my husband, Pablito, and me to din- that part of my family had disowned
ner. Over the next year, she frequently me for being gay, she pounced. “My
wined and dined us at fancy restau- family disowned me, too!” she said as
rants and always insisted on picking she fought back tears. “They’re trying
up the bill. “I have a lot of money—let to get me disinherited.”
me pay!” she’d plead convincingly.
Mair told me that an uncle, the
We’d hang out almost every evening patriarch of her family, had recently
in our barbecue area, exchanging in- died, and her cousins were divid-
timacies under the cool Los Angeles ing up an estate worth 25 million
sky. Mair told us she was originally euros. She said she was supposed to
from Ireland. One night she pointed receive 5 million euros as her share
to a framed document hanging in of the inheritance and showed me
her living room. “This is the Irish angry text messages and emails

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Reader’s Digest

from her cousins threatening that person would forfeit his or her share. courtesy JOHNATHANWALTON.COM
she wouldn’t get a dime. “You’d better be careful!” I cau-

Mair told me she had taken a lot of tioned her. “One of your disgruntled
family money with her when she left cousins might try and set you up!”
Ireland many years ago, so she never Many of her family members certainly
needed to work. But she claimed she appeared to hate her. Why wouldn’t
enjoyed working, so she got hired at a they set her up? I thought.
travel agency where her family did a
lot of business. On 8 July, 2014, my phone rang.
“You have a collect call from an in-
Fourteen months into our friend- mate at the Century Regional Deten-
ship, Mair and I were like sister and tion Facility. Press one to accept,” the
brother, even ending our phone calls computerized voice instructed me.
with “I love you.” She told me that her It was Mair. I quickly pressed one.
barristers (I had to look up the word “You were right!” she sobbed. “I was
to learn that it means ‘lawyers’) were arrested today. My family set me up
having trouble trying to secure her to make it look like I stole $2,00,000
inheritance and that they had warned from my job.”
her about a clause in her uncle’s “I told you this would happen!”
will stating that if any family mem- I yelled. I was distraught. I found a
ber were convicted of a felony, the bail bondsman and paid him $4,200

68 july 2020

Drama in Real Life

A queen of the con, Mair took
on dozens of personas, using
disguises and even plastic
surgery to change her look.

to get her out of jail. That’s when I had immediately paid back
first learnt that her legal name was the $4,200 I used to bail her
Marianne Smyth, not Mair Smyth. But out of jail, so I felt confident
she paid me back the next day, when she’d pay me back any other
she was released from jail. Or, rather, money I loaned her.
the married man she was dating at the
time paid me back. Little did I (or he) But that’s the thing: The
know, she was scamming him too. term ‘con artist’ is short for
‘confidence artist’ because
As the months passed, Mair showed these individuals are skilled
me emails from her lawyers assuring at gaining your confidence
her that the case against her was falling and then using it to scam
apart. I had no idea those emails you out of your money.
were from fake accounts she had
created herself, just like the messages Over the course of several
she claimed were from her cousins. months, I lent Mair nearly
$15,000. You’d think I’d be worried
Then, almost three years into our about giving her that much money,
friendship, she told me that the dis- but I wasn’t. Not only was she my best
trict attorney [DA] prosecuting her friend, but she also claimed she was
case had frozen her bank accounts. about to inherit millions of dollars. I
So I started lending her money. She never even considered that anything
sinister could be taking place.
One day, Mair called me and said
the DA was demanding $50,000 to
dismiss the case against her. I didn’t
have $50,000 in cash. But I did have
an 840 credit score. So I let her charge
the $50,000 on my credit cards to get
the criminal case against her dropped.
A few months later, Mair was arrested
again. She said the judge had charged
her with money laundering, something
to do with her using my credit cards,
and punished her with 30 days in jail—
a ‘slap on the wrist’. She assured me,

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Reader’s Digest

I was a TV producer, not
a detective. But I was
determined to get justice.

once again, that as soon frozen. There was no wealthy Irish sally peterson
as she got out and re- family or inheritance. She’s not even
ceived her inheritance, Irish! Those were all lies she used
she would pay me back. to entrap me.

Mair called me collect I went home and collapsed in my
from jail every day. When husband’s arms. “How could I let this
I said I wanted to come happen to us?” I sobbed.
visit her, she begged me
not to. “I don’t want you Eventually, my pain was replaced
to see me like this,” she by breathtaking anger and the deter-
said. But I insisted. So I logged on to mination to do something.
the jail’s website to schedule a visit.
That’s when the true devastation The day Mair was released from
she had wrought on my life started jail, I confronted her in the parking lot
to reveal itself. outside our apartment building. She
denied everything. “That’s not true,
The website showed that Mair was Johnathan! That’s not true!” she pro-
serving time for felony grand theft. tested as tears streamed down her face.
This was no slap on the wrist.
But I was done believing anything
I took the day off and rushed to a she had to say. I balled up my fists,
Los Angeles courthouse. With trem- clenched my jaw and walked away.
bling hands, I reviewed every record We never spoke again.
I could find from Mair’s case. I disco-
vered she had lied to me about every- I went to the police days later, in
thing. I suddenly couldn’t breathe. March 2017, and filed a report. The of-
ficer interviewing me seemed skepti-
I learnt that the $50,000 I let her cal that there was anything they could
charge on my credit cards had gone do. “Don’t give strangers your money,”
to pay $40,000 as part of a plea agree-
ment to a felony grand theft charge she
faced for stealing more than $2,00,000
from the travel agency she worked for.
Had she not been able to come up
with that $40,000, she would have re-
ceived a five-year jail sentence, not the
measly 30 days she actually served.

Her bank accounts had never been

70 july 2020

Drama in Real Life

were his parting words. So I started A police detective in Northern
my own investigation. Ireland told me that authorities in
Belfast had been looking for Marianne
I dug up Mair Smyth’s high school Smyth for years. The detective said she
yearbook and learnt that she was born had worked as a mortgage broker in
Marianne Andle in Maine and gra- 2008 and had scammed many people
duated from Bangor High in 1987. She and then vanished.
later moved to Tennessee, where, ac-
cording to estranged family members All in all, Mair Smyth used at least
I spoke with, she claimed she had 23 different aliases and has been
breast cancer and allegedly scammed charged with fraud and grand theft in
friends and neighbours out of thou- Florida and Tennessee. I was deter-
sands for ‘treatments’. They told me mined to get justice and called the Los
Mair was oddly obsessed with wanting Angeles police department every day.
to be Irish. In 2000, she went to Ire-
land on vacation. She ended up mar- A year after I’d last seen her, Mair
rying a local and stayed for nine years.
THE PROSECUTOR WENT
In the same way that wooden OVER IN EXTREME DETAIL
stakes kill vampires and silver bullets EVERY DOLLAR MAIR HAD
kill werewolves, publicity kills con
artists. I began turning my pain SCAMMED FROM ME.
into a profound sense of purpose. I
started a blog, johnathanwalton.com, was arrested and charged with grand
detailing how Mair had scammed me. theft for scamming me. She was re-
Soon, other victims of hers from all leased on her own recognizance. I
over the world started reaching out. never went near her, but one month
before trial, Mair filed for a restraining
I heard from one who claimed Mair order against me, asserting that I was
had scammed her out of $10,000 by threatening her with violence. It cost
impersonating a psychologist. She me $1,500 to hire an attorney to fight
allegedly tricked our landlord out of her bogus claim. “If a judge grants
$12,000 in rent by pretending to have the restraining order, you would
cancer. Mair had iron-deficiency be prevented from testifying
anaemia and would purposely avoid against her at her criminal trial,” my
iron-rich foods so she could get lawyer explained.
admitted into hospitals for iron in-
fusions. While sitting in a hospital Could this be her checkmate move? I
bed, she’d ask a nurse to take her pic- wondered. I was apoplectic.
ture and then email that photo to her
victims to better sell her cancer story. Thankfully, the judge refused to
She used this particular scam a lot.

readersdigest.in 71

Reader’s Digest Drama in Real Life

grant the restraining order, and Mair’s me. And the 24 court appearances
trial proceeded. The prosecution I made even before the trial—for
presented a mountain of irrefutable continuances, pretrial motions and
evidence. Though she was charged hearings—meant I missed a lot of
with scamming only me, the judge work and lost even more money. Not
allowed testimony from three other to mention the cost of hiring private
victims to demonstrate a pattern. investigators in multiple states and
countries to ferret out all her scams.
Mair did not testify in her own
defence. As witnesses described how But it was worth it.
she had scammed them, she just sat On 9 January 2019, Marianne Smyth
there with an emotionless look on was found guilty of conning me
her face. That was probably her big- out of $91,784—the money she had
gest tell to the jury. She was a brilliant borrowed plus thousands of dollars of
actress while she was conning people, interest that had accrued on my credit
but remarkably, she didn’t know how cards. She was sentenced to five years
to act innocent. The only defence her behind bars.
attorney had was that I was making Besides me, only two of Mair’s other
the whole story up. Supposedly, I had marks reported her to the police. That
persuaded all of the other witnesses— enabled her to continue scamming
people I didn’t even know before Mair people for years. Most of her victims,
scammed me—to lie under oath. He like most victims of any con artist,
was terrifyingly convincing. were too ashamed to tell anyone what
had happened to them.
The prosecutor went over in ex- I am now suspicious of everyone
treme detail each dollar Mair had and everything. Making new friends is
scammed from me. Reliving that not something I’m good at anymore.
experience in front of a roomful of And I’m ashamed too. But my desire
strangers ignited fury and embarrass- to stop her from hurting other people
ment and regret in a new, painful way. is much stronger than my shame.

I spent two years pursuing Marianne HUFFPOST.COM (16 august 2019), copyright © 2019
Smyth. I had to file for bankruptcy by johnathan walton.
because of what she had done to

1 euro was `85.24 and US$1 was `75.20 at the time of going to press.

The Fast and the Furious

The speed limit is the maximum speed you can go by law and also basically
the minimum speed you can go without ticking everybody else off.

lordpounce on REDDIT.COM

72 july 2020

Reader’s Digest

AS KIDS SEE IT

“We can speak freely now. I’ve secured the line.”

conan de vries My sister was out for nephew.] correct her, but
a walk with her three- Nephew: It’s a turch! definitely not today.
year-old son. On the Me: No, that’s a church.
walk, she pointed out It starts with C. — @MOMTRANSPARENT1
an empty nest, telling Nephew: Then why is
her son, “That’s a bird’s there a T on it? Me: Mommy just needs
nest. The birds keep a little space right now.
their eggs in there.” — CHRISTINE HOOVER Child [perched on top
of my head]: Why?
Her son looked My four-year-old has
up at her and asked been carrying a small — @LURKATHOMEMOM
innocently, “And notebook around all
where do they keep day. She opens it, Reader’s Digest will pay
their pancakes?” writes small scribbles for your funny anecdote
and quickly closes it or photo in any of our
— ASIYAH BAKSH back up. She’s calling it humour sections. Post it
her ‘secret diarrhoea’. to the editorial address, or
[Driving by a church Maybe someday I’ll email: [email protected]
with my six-year-old
readersdigest.in 73

KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

NIGHT

WITHOUT

END

Two students escaped campus violence in Jamia, after being
saved by some good people they met by chance

By Sanskriti Rajkhowa
Illustration By Siddhant Jumde

December 2019 is etched in the of 15 December, with an appeal
minds of students across the for peace.
country. India was erupting
in spontaneous protests, On what was to be Jamia Millia
against the newly constituted Islamia’s unending night, I decided
Citizenship Amendment Act, with to visit my friends there, along with
young students leading the charge. Sakshi*, a friend from JNU (Jawaharlal
Assam, my home state, was under Nehru University), where I had moved
curfew too. A group of us—students after my master’s at Jamia.
from the Northeast—had gathered at
Delhi’s Jantar Mantar on the morning As the cab dropped us at Sarai
Jullena, we could see clouds of
*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED ON REQUEST. billowing black smoke—the road

74 july 2020

Reader’s Digest
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Reader’s Digest

leading to the Jamia campus was Everyone around was scrambling to
packed with locals and students. It was escape, coughing and trying to cover
past 5 p.m. now. We walked towards their faces somehow.
Gate No. 7, where we met our friends
and found that one of them was injured We found a large assembly of
in a stampede. Apparently there had people around the Central Library—
been a police lathi charge less than the explosions were getting louder
an hour ago. Before we could begin and more frequent by the minute
to discuss it, the guards at the gate, now. This meant that the police were
otherwise very strict about student IDs, drawing closer too. Until it actually
pushed us into the campus. The police happened, and the scenes streamed
were approaching the campus, we were across TV screens since that night, we
told. Without a word, we rushed in and had believed that a library could never
the guards locked the gate behind us. be attacked. By now, all the campus
I felt a surge of relief on being able to exits were blocked—in panic we
enter, as I had forgotten my wallet and started making calls. Just then, a tear
identification card. gas shell landed at our feet. I stepped
over it and within a few seconds I was
Sakshi and I stopped and looked choking and gasping for air, every part
through the iron gates, as crowds of my skin, exposed to the chemical-
gathered on the road outside. Then, laced air, felt ablaze.
we hastily decided to retreat to the
Central Canteen for some tea. It was It all seemed never-ending—only
exam season and we noticed groups of later did we realize our escape had
students in huddles, discussing their been a matter of about 20 minutes.
post-paper blues. After being tear-gassed, we had
rushed towards the narrow exit gate
Suddenly, a commotion broke out ahead of the library and next to
in the lane outside the canteen: the Jama Masjid. We had pleaded
We could see students running with the guards to let us out. Four
away from what appeared to be men, complete strangers, formed a
an approaching troop. We heard chain around us, and led us to the
explosions in the distance—they safety of the mosque. From here, we
sounded like low-intensity bombs, crossed over to a school next to it
the sound of which we were so familiar and entered one of the narrow back
with in Assam during the agitations of lanes of Batla House.
the ’90s, when we were growing up.
Then, off went a loud blast—this one As we moved in frantic steps,
seemed much closer. A tear gas shell voices called out to us from the
had gone off right next to the canteen. dimly lit lanes, asking, “Where are
you taking these girls?” The protective

76 july 2020

Kindness of Strangers

TWO KIND STRANGERS—
NAAZ AND AMEERA—WHO

WE STILL REMAIN IN
TOUCH WITH—OFFERED
US FOOD AND SHELTER

FOR THE NIGHT.

we still remain in touch with—offered
us food and shelter for the night.
Looking back, the generosity of these
young women kept us safe and helped
us heal through the trauma of having
witnessed the brutality on the Jamia
students. As videos of that night
surfaced, we realized how lucky we
had been. The nearby hospitals were
swamped with the bloodied bodies
of young students.

photo courtesy: sanskriti rajkhowa “It all seemed never-ending,” says Next morning, on our way to the
Sanskriti Rajkhowa. metro station, we saw the campus
street strewn with wreckage, which
men occasionally answered, assuring shocked us beyond words. A rickshaw
them we were students looking driver dropped us off at Sukhdev Vihar
for refuge, as the university was and said, “Apunaluk dujon axomor
being ransacked. neki?” (Are you both from Assam?).
Introducing himself as Mustafa Amin*
The police had closed all the entry from Kokrajhar, he told us that there
points and metro stations in the area. were around 50 families from Assam
From Batla House we crossed some who lived nearby. “All our homes are
tense but bustling roads, a graveyard open for you, should anything like this
and reached the other end of Tikona ever happen again,” he said.
Park. Our male friends left us there
to attend to the injured in Al-Shifa May nothing like this ever happen
Hospital. At Johri Farm, two kind again, I thought. He still calls to check
strangers—Naaz* and Ameera*—who if we are alright.

readersdigest.in 77

Reader’s Digest
78 july 2020

BONUS READ

Large numbers of
tigers are being
farmed, killed
and trafficked in
Laos. Karl Ammann
pursues those
responsible

TRACKING
THE TIGER
BUTCHER

By Terrence McCoy
from the washington post

readersdigest.in 79

Reader’s Digest

e was up there some- to investigate its wildlife practices.
where, at the top of He was unarmed. Neither Keovised
the hill, the man Karl nor his boss had ever been charged
Ammann had come to with anything, let alone arrested. If
see. It would soon be discovered, the equipment Ammann
had with him—the drone, the hidden
H night. The forest was all cameras, the satellite images of the
shadows and sounds. country’s tiger farms—would imme-
Ammann had driven across Laos to diately unravel his cover story: that
reach Tha Bak, a remote river village, he was a tourist.
to confront the person he believed
had murdered more tigers than any- But he could already feel the
one in the country. In the distance, he familiar intensity. It had driven
could hear dozens of tigers roaring. him to undertake dozens of risky,
For nearly five years, Ammann, 71, a self-funded investigations, pushed
Swiss counter-trafficking conservatio- him to the fringes of the conservation
nist, had tracked Nikhom Keovised. He community and caused even friends
had placed hidden cameras inside what to describe him as obsessive, if

THE TIGER IS ON THE VERGE OF BECOMING
A FULLY INDUSTRIALIZED COMMODITY.

had once been the largest tiger farm in not a little crazy. He couldn’t pbyh totero,reprnecveiomucsc sopy/rteahed awnasdhtihnisgtoonne:post via getty images
South East Asia, an illegal operation stop. Those responsible had to be
where tigers had been raised to one held to account.
end—slaughter. And he had listened
to the man doing the slaughtering de- For 10 days in late 2018, I joined
scribe it in his own words: “Use the Ammann on an undercover journey
anaesthetic,” Keovised had said. “Then to determine whether Laos, a global
just cut the neck.” Then “peel its skin.” hub of wildlife trafficking, had
fulfilled its promises since 2016 to
Now Keovised had just opened here stamp out the wildlife trade. Now
in Tha Bak what his boss—considered we’d arrived at this hill, where, above,
one of the nation’s biggest wildlife the tigers were becoming louder.
traffickers—described as a zoo, but
what Ammann suspected was a front They were hungry, Ammann
for selling tigers. announced. It would soon be time to
feed them. He slung his camera over
Ammann knew the risks. He was his shoulder and started up the hill,
in the country without permission in search of tigers and their warden.

80 july 2020

During his investigation of tiger trafficking, Ammann drove hour after hour to remote
locations around Laos.

A RISK TAKER nearly all been killed. Ammann was
one of the few people who’d seen
The tiger, whose captive population inside the country’s farms.
now dwarfs its numbers in the wild,
is on the verge of becoming a fully When I’d first spoken to him
industrialized commodity. Over the in June 2018, I’d expected to find
past century or so, the population someone who was, if not optimistic,
in the wild has plunged from an then at least hopeful. Since 2016,
estimated 1,00,000 to fewer than international authorities and some
4,000, while the number in captivity conservationists had applauded Laos,
had exploded to more than 12,500. home to some of Asia’s biggest wildlife
traffickers, as it announced overhauls
Nowhere else was the animal’s to clean up the trade.
commodification more complete than
in tiger farming, where it is raised, Shops trading in bones and wildlife
butchered for parts and sold for tens merchandise were to cease. All three
of thousands of dollars. And nowhere of the country’s illegal tiger farms,
else had these farms operated with which stored 700 tigers, were ordered
greater impunity than in Laos, a to stop farming and convert into zoos
nation whose own wild tigers have and conservation centres. No new
facilities breeding endangered wildlife

readersdigest.in 81

Reader’s Digest

for commercial purposes

would open.

But Ammann was nei-

ther optimistic nor hopeful.

He cited operational tiger

farms in Laos and how we

were being taken for “bloody

fools”. “They all want hope

and happy endings,” he said

of producers and audiences

who ignored his documen-

taries. “And I don’t see any

happy endings.”

Almost every conservatio-

nist I asked said Ammann’s

findings were sound. He could

be trusted—but ...

But what?

“He takes a lot of risks,”

Steve Galster, a counter-

trafficking expert in Bangkok,

said after a long pause.

He had been kicked out of Amman's combative exterior hides a deep

an international conserva- regard for the animals he is trying to help.

tion meeting for aggressively He is pictured here in the mid-1990s with

confronting officials. a gorilla orphan he found in Gabon.

“A bit of a kook who gets

results,” a law-enforcement consultant he’d dispatched to CITES, the UN

in Laos called him. commission charged with regulating

Ammann sent me some of those the wildlife trade, accusing it of being photo courtesy of karl ammann

results, photographs of a diseased “a big part of the problem.” He’d sent

tiger in a claustrophobic cage— the same letter to a European Parlia-

mangy, eyes desperate. The next ment official, attaching this comment:

showed seven tigers in cramped cages “So you cannot say you did not know.

eating raw chicken off the ground and, My motto for doing this.”

from high above, drone images of I called Ammann at his estate at

two massive tiger farms, showing the the base of Mount Kenya. He was

animal in cage after cage. going to Laos again, before year’s

He included a 3,700-word missive end, he said. This time, he hoped to

82 july 2020

Bonus Read

personally meet those who’d profited country, investigating rumours
from the death of the tiger. “Why of a never-before-identified tiger
don’t you come,” he asked, “and see enclosure, buying tiger products
for yourself?” from merchants and flying drones
over tiger farms. Lastly, he’d venture
So, for 10 days in late 2018, I joined to a new resort and ‘zoo’ named
Ammann on an undercover journey to Say Namthurn at Tha Bak, where
determine whether Laos had fulfilled Ammann hoped to finally meet
its promises since 2016 to stamp out Keovised, the tiger butcher, and his
the wildlife trade. boss, Sakhone Keosouvanh, who
helped bring tiger farming to Laos.
THE JOURNEY BEGINS
Inside the van, along with Am-
I arrived at my hotel in northern mann were his cameraman, Phil Hat-
Thailand past midnight. We’d planned tingh, a towering South African, and a
to meet at 8 a.m. but a note waiting young Hong Kong Chinese woman
for me from Ammann said we had to named Grace Chan.
meet at 7 a.m. A long day was ahead.
After a handshake and a few quick “They’ll think you’re a customer,”

CHINA’S ECONOMIC GROWTH IGNITED
A MARKET FOR TIGER PRODUCTS.

words, we were inside a van, bumping Ammann said to Chan, explaining
towards the Laos border. that his plan for her on this trip
was to visit shops while wearing a
Ammann wanted to cross into the hidden camera to buy tiger products.
country by nightfall, where he said the Ammann met Chan in 2017 after
real journey would begin. Landlocked she’d contacted him to discuss
and mountainous, Laos has nearly elephant trafficking.
2,575 kilometres of borders with Viet-
nam and China, whose appetite for To bolster her expertise on the
illicit wildlife products had both deci- tiger economy, Ammann handed her
mated numerous species and trans- a tattered book. It showed pictures of
formed Laos into a global epicentre of a tiger skull, femur, tibia and hip, and
wildlife trade. A 2017 CITES report was described the bones as a ‘precious
blunt: “Everyone can buy everything crude medicine’, whose medicinal
and cross the border.” use in China traced back more than
1,400 years. As China’s economy grew,
Over the next 10 days, Ammann the animal’s mythical qualities—none
planned to traverse much of the

readersdigest.in 83

Reader’s Digest

of which are substantiated by CONSUMED BY OUTRAGE
modern medicine—ignited a market
for tiger products. We drove into the night until a city
sprang out of the blackness. Lexuses
With only a few dozen tigers left, and Mercedes wheeled down its
the Chinese government banned streets with Chinese licence plates.
killing endangered species in the wild People swarmed around a large
while encouraging their ‘domestica- casino at the town’s centre.
tion’ and breeding to sate demand
for tiger products while protecting Known as the Golden Triangle
those in the wild. Instead, demand Special Economic Zone, this sliver
exploded further, said Vanda Felbab- of Bokeo Province is controlled by a
Brown, a Brookings Institution senior transnational criminal operation that
fellow who’s studied the industry, in- “engages in an array of horrendous il-
citing rampant poaching of wild tigers licit activities,” including child prosti-
all over Asia. tution and human, drug and wildlife
trafficking, according to the US Trea-
Chinese officials in 1993 prohibited sury Department, which imposed
domestic trade in tiger bone but sanctions on the network.
didn’t close the country’s many

AT AN OPEN-AIR STORE, A CHINESE
SALESMAN SAID HE HAD TIGER PARTS TO SELL.

farms. That year, CITES, which has On our first morning here, Ammann
few enforcement tools, banned tiger was already exasperated. His driver was
farming for commercial purposes. not going fast enough, his computer
China chafed against the restrictions had stopped working, and the hotel
then, and now. In 2018, it legalized where we’d spent the night before—the
trade in tiger parts for medicinal only one that still took Western guests
purposes but, under international following the US sanctions—had just
pressure, quickly reinstated its ban. told us to clear out.

To bypass it, some Chinese Ammann knew how he sometimes
customers flock to border towns in sounded, but there was no time for
the Golden Triangle area, where niceties. In conversations, he frequently
the countries of Myanmar, Laos and brought up environmental studies
Thailand converge. he’d just read, all of them apparently
grim. The planet could soon lose
That was exactly what Ammann 60 per cent of primate species,
wanted to investigate first.

84 july 2020

Ammann believes this ‘zoo’ in the eastern Lao town of Tha Bak, which he visited in
December 2018, is really a front for selling tigers.

photo: © washington post/by terrence mccoy according to the peer-reviewed journal, previously protected by dense jungle.
Science Advances, noting how bush- The outrage he’d felt soon consumed
meat hunting had sped their demise—a
revelation that, to Ammann, wasn’t a him. In the early 1990s, he went
revelation at all. It was his origin story. to remote merchants and logging
encampments and returned with
In 1988, Ammann was in a longboat gruesome images. Decapitated gorillas.
chugging up the Congo River in what Charbroiled monkeys. Butchered
was then Zaire. By then, he’d already chimpanzees. He published books,
spent two decades in Africa, where lobbied governments, led international
he had worked as a hotelier and petitions against wildlife slaughter.
photographer, eventually becoming
wealthy opening and selling an eco- He described it all graphically,
tourism camp in Kenya’s Maasai Mara hoping to shock people into action.
National Reserve. But along the river’s “Up to their elbows in blood,” he said
banks, he saw hundreds of slaughtered of bushmeat hunters in one 1995
primates awaiting transport to nearby newspaper interview. “Maybe I’ve
markets. Deforestation had provided become too extreme,” he confessed in
hunters with access to animals another, and many conservationists
then agreed.

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Reader’s Digest

Jane Goodall, the

renowned chim-

panzee conserva-

tionist, said he was

too aggressive, and

he said she wasn’t

aggressive enough.

Other conserva-

tionists accused

him of “cultural

imperialism”, and

he countered that

they worried more Ammann's team found these tiger fangs selling for
about fundraising $1,340 (₹1,02,707) in a Lao border market.
than truth.
“MR HE SENT US”
“He won’t stop,”

says his wife, Kathy, even after he She was dressed in black. Black hat.

was named a Time magazine Hero of Black sunglasses. Black blouse, the

the Environment in 2007 for “almost top button of which concealed the

single-handedly raising awareness of camera. Ammann wanted us to keep

the issue of bushmeat,” and was told our distance from her at first. Sellers

to slow down. these days store their jewellery and

Two personalities jostle inside medicine in back rooms and hidden

him, said Dale Peterson, a former drawers that open only for wealthy

collaborator. He was one person Chinese customers—which was how

around people—combative, cynical, Ammann hoped Chan would appear. photo: © washington post/by terrence mccoy

“miserable”, as Peterson put it—and We met her at the counter of an

another around animals. That was the open-air store named Exotic Family.

Ammann who’d stop and discuss even There, a thin Chinese salesman was

a small bird, he said, “in the most saying, yes, he had tiger parts to sell.

affectionate way.” He was “driven by Out came a small, hollowed tiger bone

something larger.” with intricate carvings: $223 [₹16,759].

That intensity building within, Also a tiger claw: $223. And two tiger

he pulled up to the market along the fangs: $1,340 [₹1,02,707].

Mekong River, straddling the Lao- Ammann asked to see more. The

Thai border. The door opened, out man pulled out his phone and sent a

Chan went, and from the market contact request on the messaging app

entrance, Ammann watched her WeChat to Chan. All she needed to

disappear into the stalls. do was enter a few keywords—‘jelly’

86 july 2020

Bonus Read

for ivory, ‘king’ for tiger products— stall and the market, believed there
to thwart a blanket prohibition on were even more tiger enclosures now
the trade on China’s leading in Laos, which hadn’t yet been iden-
commerce sites. tified. One was rumoured to be right
here in the Golden Triangle: He had
But one rare product didn’t appear to find out whether it was true.
on the seller’s WeChat profile. Did he
have any tiger skin for sale? We drove several miles, coming to
a stop on a desolate dirt road wedged
“No tiger skins anymore,” he between thatched-roof huts and jun-
said in Chinese. “Tigers in Laos are gle. Ammann got out, reached for his
now protected.” camera and approached the walls,
from which hung signs praising the
Ammann knew Laos had vowed to facility’s supposed role in conserva-
stop the trade in wildlife products, tion. “Caring rare animals, protect the
and yet here this merchant was doing blue planet,” said one in English.
just that. So how likely was it that
much had changed? “This must be it,” he said, walking
up to the metal gates of a compound
A promised ‘full audit’ and phase-
out plan by the government of the

EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME, SEEING
TIGERS UP CLOSE STUNNED AMMANN.

country’s captive tigers had faced said to be controlled by the local cri-
numerous delays. The same tiger minal syndicate. He started banging.
breeders were still involved in the A young shirtless man came to see
operations, where the tiger population what was going on. Ammann decided
has been fluctuating dramatically, to bluff his way in.
indicating possible trade.
“Tell him Mr He sent us here,”
A farm called Vinasakhone—where Ammann directed Chan, who had no
Keovised had worked—reported idea what he was talking about, but
a sudden loss of 300 tigers in 2017 decided to do it anyway.
without ever explaining how that hap-
pened. Then a new and massive farm The gate was slightly ajar. Ammann
was disclosed by a Vietnamese news vanished beyond the wall. Chan and
outlet in April 2017 in the central Laos I followed. A sound of joy and won-
town of Lak Sao and as of last year der came into Ammann’s voice. In
housed 106 tigers. the darkness of one of the structures,
stripes were moving. Even after all this
Ammann, walking away from the time, seeing tigers up close stunned

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Reader’s Digest

him. They were so big, moving with never going to win,’ but you keep
the latent energy of coiled springs. going,” he answered once. “If I’ve had
a few bad nights’ sleep over what I’ve
The worker wanted us out. He was seen, well, let me give a few others a
staring at Ammann, who continued bad night’s sleep.”
to film. He was calling his boss again.
One more look, and Ammann was in The van now crossed a muddy river,
the car, and it was pulling away, and continuing along Highway 8. The
he couldn’t help but shake his head. town of Lak Sao soon came into view.
We bounced off the main highway,
“Yeah, but Laos is closing down the forked into a quiet village and rolled
tiger farms, isn’t it?” he said. onto an unmarked dirt path.

ANOTHER NEW FARM “This is it,” Ammann said. Just
down this road was the Lak Sao tiger
Days later, after Chan had bought and farm, with around 100 tigers inside, if
filmed tiger parts being sold in shops not more. Hattingh, the cameraman,
all over Laos, and after we’d left her in was reaching into his bag. Out came
the capital of Vientiane with her job the drone. They had five minutes—
complete, we headed across the coun- 10 tops—to get what they needed
try to the Vietnam border. and get out.

Ammann was in a darker mood “If you see people running, bring it
than usual. “It’s frustrating to care home and get out of there,” Ammann
about something this much,” he said. said. “If they catch you with a drone
“Am I wasting my time?” and no licence, they can throw the
book at you.”
Several times during the trip, I’d
asked him why continue if he thought Hattingh climbed out. He stepped
the work was futile. “The real chal- into the bush behind the back of the
lenge starts when you know, ‘I’m compound’s tall concrete walls. The
drone, the size of a hawk and buzzing
like the world’s loudest cicada, shutterstock
levitated into the air. The video was
beamed back into a hand-held screen,
showing tigers pacing in their cages,
appearing as small as insects.

This operation wasn’t like the last
one, not another small tiger enclosure
hidden away in the hills. This was in-
dustrial. The drone came down. Hat-
tingh hurried back. We got in the van,
and Ammann told the driver to hit it.

88 july 2020

Bonus Read

ARRIVING IN THA BAK Keovised was the one who met with
an investigator Ammann had sent
Deeper into the countryside we went, into the farm equipped with a hidden
until there came the river village of camera and the cover story that he
Tha Bak. A sign announced the resort was there to inquire about four tigers
of Say Namthurn, listing its offerings: for a farm that his ‘millionaire’ Chi-
golf course, drinking water, zoo. Tigers nese boss wanted to build.
roared atop a hill shrouded by forest.
Ammann reached for his camera. Over months, the two men deve-
loped a friendship. The investigator
That is where he hoped to would take Keovised out for drinks,
find Keovised. then secretly record their conversa-
tions. Soon Keovised was delving into
Ammann first heard that name how tigers were illegally bred, killed
in early 2014. His investigation had and harvested for parts at a level that
brought him to central Laos, where staggered Ammann.
Vinasakhone, the country’s biggest
farm, stored hundreds of tigers behind During the first 10 months of 2014
concrete walls. alone, Vinasakhone and another

THE VINASAKHONE FARM SAID IT WAS
HELPING TO PRESERVE THE TIGER POPULATION.

Its co-owner at the time was a short farm traded nearly eight tons of lion
man named Sakhone Keosouvanh. and tiger bone, the former of which
Equipped with government connec- is sometimes passed off as tiger
tions, he helped craft Laos’s failed bone, according to one government
plan to save the country’s last tigers document by the Lao Division of
and represented tiger farmers at an Forest Inspection that I obtained. The
international tiger preservation mee- report, first reported by the Guardian,
ting. His farm promoted itself as hel- accused the farm of breaking
ping to preserve the tiger population. international and local law.

Meanwhile, tiger breeding, killing But no action could be taken against
and selling were going on inside those it. The farm had “approval from
walls, according to Laos government government,” which imposed an extra
reports, and the man who oversaw tax of 2 per cent on all wildlife exports,
much of it was Keovised. (Neither according to a 2003 Laos customs
Keosouvanh nor Keovised responded document. A 2016 confidential
to numerous requests for comment.) survey of the country’s wildlife farms

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Reader’s Digest

by the Lao Department of Forest MEETING THE BOSS
Resource Management said the farm
wasn’t breeding tigers for “scientific “If Sakhone is here, we have to be care-
research”—as its permit stated—but ful,” Ammann said. The tiger farmer
for slaughter. One corpse was believed had been so well protected that he’d
to go for $30,000 [₹22,54,630]. never faced charges. Ammann worried
about that power. Our intentions for
“We use this anaesthetic” was how being there couldn’t be discovered.
Keovised described the process in a
conversation with Ammann’s investi- We walked through a tourist attrac-
gator. “They fall down.” tion bereft of tourists to the restau-
rant patio along the river. “There he
“How do you kill it?” the investi- is,” Ammann said softly. Keosouvanh
gator asked. was coming our way across the patio,
wearing a blue button-down, gold ring
Some have their throats cut. But
many clients refuse to buy pierced

BEHIND TWO LINES OF FENCING WERE
FLASHES OF TEETH AND SLATE GREEN EYES.

skin, so “we use the elastic string to and watch, with a Toyota Hilux key
tighten its neck … until it died.” dangling from his belt loop.

Some buyers want the meat, others For so long, Ammann had known
the bones, and others only want a Keosouvanh only as a name on
dense block of hardened resin known investigative reports and translated
as tiger glue made by boiling the bones. transcripts. But now he was gripping
Ammann’s hand and smiling broadly.
In 2016, a new Lao administration, Keosouvanh took a seat at our table
yielding to international demands, an- and looked us over. Beers arrived.
nounced that the farms would close, Ammann, playing the role of tourist,
accusing them of illegally “trading did the talking. Through an inter-
tiger products to international buyers.” preter, he asked Keosouvanh how he’d
Soon after, 300 of Vinasakhone’s 400 made his money.
tigers vanished.
“An import–export company,”
Then Keosouvanh, the co-owner, Keosouvanh said.
abandoned the farm, beginning a new
tiger operation out here. And with Ammann asked what he exported.
him, Ammann heard from his inves- “Mainly coal,” Keosouvanh said.
tigator, he had brought along his farm Ammann later told me he’d had the
manager, Keovised. urge to turn on his camera and confront

90 july 2020





Nikhom Keovised at Vinasakhone, once the largest tiger farm in South East Asia

photo: © washington post/by terrence mccoy him. He wanted to tell him that he’d “What animals are left in this forest?”
actually exported tigers—and accuse he asked, waving a hand towards the
him of still doing it. “We breed them to trees. “Are there any tigers left?”
get their babies” to sell, Keovised had
recently told Ammann’s investigator, Keosouvanh looked at him for a
illegal trade an investigative Vietna- moment, his face blank.
mese agency has discovered as well.
“No,” he finally said. “None of those.”
Then there was something else: Am-
mann had learnt what he believed was THE FARM MANAGER
the truth of the missing 300 tigers from
Keosouvanh’s farm. Many had been The tigers weren’t in the forest, but
killed, frozen and trafficked, accor- up the hill, on the other side of the
ding to Keovised and interviews I’ve resort. The next afternoon, Ammann
had with two other people with knowl- went past the gates, the river far be-
edge of the missing tigers. But Ammann low him. He kept his gaze fixed on
could say none of this, not here. the ramshackle structure—chain-
link fencing, anchored by poles and
Instead, Ammann glanced out into patched with blue tarp. The sound of
the forests on the other side of the river. groaning tigers was all around.
They looked so dense. So dark. Surely
anything could be out there. He went inside. Behind two lines of
fencing, on either side of the narrow
hallway, were flashes of teeth and slate

readersdigest.in 91

Reader’s Digest

green eyes. Thirty-five tigers, some now here Keovised was, sitting outside
weighing over 180 kilos, stalked back a small concrete house, doing nothing
and forth, housed separately in 9 x 12- more than drinking and smoking
foot cages. after a day of work. Ammann and I
took seats at his table. Keovised smiled
Every now and then, a worker at the unexpected guests, pouring us
would pull open a side door connec- beers. This time, however, Ammann
ting the cages, and in would come did flip on his camera.
another tiger. The two would mate,
then separate, an act that Ammann Then, as his Lao guide interpreted,
and I witnessed three times in less he started in with it:
than an hour. Standing here, I realized,
the existence of the tiger had been “What is going to happen to
reduced to this: endless pacing, speed these tigers?”
breeding and a meal of raw chicken
“So how often do they get tourists?”
“We saw three tiger pairs mating,

KEOVISED HAD SEEMED IMPOVERISHED,
DOING WHAT HE HAD TO DO TO SURVIVE.

hurled into its cage at 5 p.m. so in three and a half months, how
“You couldn’t licence a zoo like many babies?”

this anywhere in the world,” Ammann Keovised laughed and offered
said. After spending hours here— Ammann more beer. He said he’d
during which we saw only one group worked with tigers since 2007, and this
of local tourists pay the admission fee enclosure, which he’d taken over seven
of $2 [₹150]—he turned to leave. Then, months before, was just getting started.
just outside the front entrance, on the These tigers would never leave. Few
gravel, he saw him. tourists came, but soon there would be
more cages filled with tiger cubs. What
Keovised. he didn’t tell Ammann now, but what
He was sitting at a table strewn he’d told Ammann’s informant: The ti-
with beer bottles—a short man with gers were profoundly inbred, and few
yellowing teeth, wearing dusty black cubs were surviving, only 18 so far.
pants and flip-flops.
Ammann walked over to him. “So, much work needs to be done?”
How many hours had he listened Ammann said, motioning towards the
to the farm manager in the recordings construction, where more cages were
describe the most macabre of details being built. Keovised only laughed
in the most perfunctory of ways? And again. Ammann took one last look

92 july 2020

Bonus Read

at him. Then he finished his drink, parks or zoos. Ongoing illegal trade in
turned off his camera and got up from tiger parts. Signs of expansion at several
the table. He’d had enough. farms. Allegations that many of the
missing 300 tigers had been killed. And
He descended the hill, as the day’s proof that the same people who had
last light bloomed orange and red illegally butchered and sold tigers were
above the mountains. still acting as keepers of the animals.

“THIS IS OUR SYSTEM” Then he was in a barren conference
room, facing a CITES bureaucrat. I sat
Then it was morning. Ammann di- at the end of the table, watching as
rected his driver to take him to the Ammann’s anger began to build.
capital to present his findings to the
local office of CITES. He stared out the “We know there are two more tiger
window and thought of Keovised. He’d farms,” Ammann said. “Two new tiger
always pictured him as powerful and farms! You said you’re closing them
menacing, but he hadn’t been that at down?” On and on he went—but it
all. He’d seemed impoverished, doing was no use. Take it up with the bosses
what he had to do to survive. At least in Geneva, he was told. There wasn’t
Keovised was who he presented him- anything the office could do with infor-
self to be, Ammann realized, and the mation brought in like this.
self-congratulatory networkers at the
wildlife conferences were not. “This is our system,” the official said.
Ammann took down the official’s
Soon he was walking inside an email address. He thanked him for his
expansive building carrying a briefcase time. He picked up his briefcase with
where he’d stored evidence of his the proof he’d never been asked to
findings. Two new tiger enclosures that show and walked out.
didn’t look to him like conservation At the entrance of the building, he
stopped for a moment. On either side
shutterstock of the doorway was a statue of a tiger.
Stripes had been etched into their
wooden bodies. Their expressions
were frozen in garish snarls. Ammann
reached down to touch the head of one
of the tigers—an animal once defined
by ferocity, now an ornament, lifeless
and commodified.
Then he quickly lifted his hand and
walked away.

from washington post (9 may 2019), copyright ©
2019 by washington post

readersdigest.in 93

“I see my kids’ laundry.”

LIFE’S session, going on would be dangerous
about this, that and to drink and drive,”
Like That the other. When she she said. “The straw
finally paused to come could go up your nose.”
My husband and his up for air, she had one —Marlene L.
sister are notorious question: “Who am I Banwart
yakkers. They can hold talking to?”
court on any subject. —Christine Hohman It always irked my
One day, he called her. single mother that
All he had to say was A few of us were dis- her grocery store
“Hi,” and that launched cussing the perils of didn’t carry eggs in
her into a marathon drinking and driving packages of six—just
when my five-year-old by the dozen. Then
granddaughter threw one day, her wish
in her two cents. came true. She walked
into the grocery and
“I can see why it

94 july 2020 Cartoon by Harley Schwadron

My favourite thing about watching a Reader’s Digest
new movie with my five-year-old is
probably watching it 17 times a day your hair done?”
for the next three months. “Why, yes. Thank

— @thebabylady7 you for noticing,” said
Denise, flattered.
found fresh eggs in friend Denise made
cartons of six. an appointment with “I thought so,”
a dermatologist who the doctor replied.
“I was so excited,” happened to be very “Because your
she told us later, “that attractive. After a full scalp looks red
I bought two!” examination, the and irritated.”
—Thomas Hassmann doctor cocked his —Sandy Hagglund
head and asked,
Suffering from an un- “Denise, did you get Reader’s Digest will pay
sightly scaly rash, my for your funny anecdote
or photo in any of our
humour sections. Post it
to the editorial address, or
email: [email protected]

ryan mcvay/getty images (photo), mae lander (doodle) GEE, THANKS, MOM Ê“I’m leaving for the weekend, so I
hid $100 in your room for food. Clean
Mothers always know just what to say your room and you will find it.”
when you’re feeling lost, confused or just —wattpad.com
downright sad. These razor-sharp mums
may not have got that memo though: ÊOn my wedding day, my mom
told my bride, “No refunds, no
ÊIf I ever voiced disapproval exchanges on sale items.”
of a photo of myself, my —Glen Zeider
mother always had a ready
reply: “Want a better picture? Ê“Be nice to your brother.
Get a better face.” You might need one of his
kidneys one day.”
—Maria Zagorski — @cocogurl86

ÊME: Mom, you’re invading ÊI told my mom I expected a boyfriend
my personal space. and a new car for my birthday. She said,
MOM: Well, you came out “A Ken doll and a Hot Wheels. Got it.”
of my personal space. That — @jordanmei
makes us even.

— @WVandertie

readersdigest.in 95

CULTURESCAPE

Books, Arts and Entertainment

A Hell of an Actor

Feted for his performance in Pataal Lok, Jaideep Ahlawat
has grabbed a long-awaited and well-deserved spotlight
’’
by Anna M. M. Vetticad

Is it true you wanted to be an of Wasseypur] was being praised?
Army officer? (Laughs) At the time, Facebook was the
I did. That was the environment in my biggest social media platform, and I
hometown in Haryana—most students used to get messages and see posts with
prepared for the Indian Army exams. A articles in which I was being praised. I
bunch of my friends and I tried to get didn’t realize it’s a big step. I was just in
into the Army as officers too. a happy zone that I had done an Anurag
Kashyap film with great actors. Then,
How did you end up in films? maybe a week or month later, I realized
After two or three failures with the people had started recognizing me on
Combined Defence Services exam, I got the road. That is the moment it got real.
messed up in my head. After gradua- It felt amazing.
tion I didn’t do anything for a year be-
cause I was so angry with myself, and Before Gangs of Wasseypur,
so frustrated. I started theatre that year, did you feel like giving up
which helped. Then I joined a master’s at any point?
course in English, because being in a Never, because this is the only thing
university meant I could be in univer- I like to do. I have a diploma in
sity plays and inter-university contests. education—I am eligible to teach
After that, I applied to the Film and students under class 5—but I never
Television Institute of India (FTII). gave myself that option. Especially
because of FTII, I knew it’s a matter
How did you feel when you realized of time, and it’s not like if you go
your role as Shahid Khan [in Gangs to Bombay they will serve you

96 july 2020

Reader’s Digest

everything on a platter. So I was just WITH PAATAL LOK,
trying to get better projects. MY PERFORMANCE

Critics have been praising you for REACHED MORE
a while, but the scale of audience PEOPLE’S HEARTS
recognition for Paatal Lok has been
unprecedented. How do you think AND MINDS.
this happened?
Not just critics—the audience also much more favourable towards me. It’s
watched Gangs of Wasseypur, Raazi, actually quite normal.
Vishwaroopam—but when they found
me featured as the protagonist and In Paatal Lok, my role also had
my performance was good, they were the length of the entire series, so my
performance reached more people’s
pravin talan hearts and minds.

Do you prefer today’s world with its
massive social media presence and
immediate response to Paatal Lok
or an earlier, quieter world?
Even if I prefer the earlier world,
I can’t do anything to change things.

Some people don’t have
social media accounts at all.
I am hardly on social me-
dia. When I do go online
it’s only to talk about
my work or something
I feel strongly about.
For me, it is social
media, not my-
personal-life media. I
restrict myself online
because that suits

’’me. I don’t post what

I’m eating or
reading. I don’t
do that.

readersdigest.in 97

Lin-Manuel Miranda (second
from left) in Hamilton

RD RECOMMENDS

Films Alexander Hamilton, one of the
United States’ founding fathers. The
ENGLISH: Based on the multi-award film sheds light on Hamilton’s role as
winning Broadway musical of the aide of George Washington during the
same name, HAMILTON is a musical American Revolution and his work
drama film charting the life of as the first US Secretary of the Trea-
sury in the post-war years. It is writ-
Poster for ten, produced and composed by
the Charlize the supremely talented Lin-Manuel
Theron-starrer, Miranda, who also plays the role
OLD GUARD of Hamilton. The film streams on
Disney+Hotstar from 3 July.

The Charlize Theron-starrer,
OLD GUARD, premieres on Netflix from
10 July. The film follows a secret group
of immortal mercenaries who have
been guarding the mortal world for
centuries. But, immortality comes
with its own burden, besides the risk
of being exposed. It falls to the group’s
leader, Andy, and its newest recruit,

98 july 2020