Pieces of a mirro called ubuntu

PIECES OF A
MIRROR
CALLED
UBUBTU
Shaquiel Malik Parker • May 2019


I believe that we are all blessed to be on this earth to help one another, in order for me to do so I need to be able to make sure that I’m straight. So I dedicate this book to myself. The purpose of this is to serve as a guidance manual as I continue to grow on the daily. It is a reminder of who I truly am and what it is that I stand for in case I ever feel lost or stray away from my own identity and spirit. Each concept in this book is accompanied by a set of songs to remind me that I am a star on a daily and to do what a star does, which is to shine bright.
Dedication


Ubuntu
I Am Because We Are
Family - Blood Orange NoEyeInTeam - Childish Major Crystal Express- Raury


As I stated before it is my belief that it is we were all placed on this earth to serve and help one another. I am no exception to the rule. I often think about the coming time of when I will become financially wealthy. I often think about how my life will change and how people around me will interact with me. I think about if I will change, will I start acting funny and boujee and too good for my day ones. SHAQUIEL MALIK PARKER YOU BET’NOT. I often ask God to keep me humble and a spirit full of humility because the last thing I want to become is one of those people who switched up on those who was with them in the trenches, before


things got better.
I Am Because We Are.
Therefore I will know that I am successful when those that are in my community (my momma, my daddy, my brothers, my sisters, my homies, my lovers & bestfriends) are right along with me and we all are. To be considered successful in my eyes means does not necessarily mean to have money, or nice fancy tangible things. Success is being at peace with who you are, being able to love yourself and to love on others. Success is claiming your joy no matter what is going on, and this is not to say that we should not neglect our feelings of sorrow or pain but to


use our joy to motivate us and get to that place where we want to be in any and every aspect of life. If I’m not at my best I am a potential hernderance for my community therefore I have to take proper care of me so that I am able to play my position and do my job as a member of my community because when my community is happy I am happy, when they are hurt, I am hurt, when they feel loved I feel loved.
I am Because We Are.


Black Prince
Charming
Black Prince Charming Ideal
Willing - Jill Scott
Sonder - Care Whatever You Want - Tony! Toni! Toné!


This is a concept that I never thought to question, simply because I never knew it to exist. I’ve always thought that the role of a man in a relationship was to take out the trash, mow the lawn, do tiny to mid size projects around the house and take care most of the financial part of the relationship mainly because that's what I grew up seeing my daddy do in in his 2 marriages. I always felt that in order for me to be in a relationship I had to have my own spot, a car, money to pay for hair and nails to get done, along with money to have for dates and stuff. But I recognize this has nothing to do to boost and nurture my spirit, these are things to boost my ego. The role and


expectations of a man in a relationship is determined by the man and the woman of that relationship. I am not a robot whose function is to just work and take care on most of the financial responsibilities of a relationship. I am a human with emotions, feelings, thoughts and ideas and it is ok for me to be with someone and be able to express these things with her. The woman I choose to be with does not serve as a threat to my manhood just because she makes more money than me, she does not make me feel less than a man because she is self-reliant, in fact
she’s the type of woman that I long for because she can stand on her own. I am not a need for her she wants me


for who I am not for what I can do financially for her. She wants me because we connect on a spiritual,mental and physical level. The idea of The Black Prince Charming is something that I want no part of because it will stunt my growth as partner and or husband.


Parenting
Authoritative Parenting Style
She’s Mine, pt.1 - J.Cole
Rich Dad Poor Dad - Big K.R.I.T.
Like Father Like Son - The Game


I often see myself being a father, specifically being the father of a daughter either named Nala, Sanaa. I don’t know why or where this sense of guarantee comes from but I’ve had this idea plastered to inside of my head and glued to spirit every since I started thinking about wanting children. I believe big time that me wanting a family stems from my parents. Both of them believed and desired marriage and having children and I guess those things latched on to me. Although I would love to have children no matter the gender (all though I know I’m already having at least one girl) I am not rushing or walking into the experience of parenthood blind.


I know that I need to have my ducks in a row meaning being emotionally, spiritually, financially, physically and mentally equipped and ready to handle the responsibilities of bringing a child into this world. That being said I need to make sure that if I choose to have sex with a woman that our spirits are aligned and that she is also prepared in the same exact ways that I am to bring in a new human into this world, because I refuse to bring a child into this world and they aren’t allotted the necessities of life. I see me and my child(s) mother being together till the end of time, however things were to happen between us and we’re no longer a union I know I


have to deal with my emotions and feelings towards her on a seperate level. I will not involve my child(s) in what we have going on nor will I take out any of my emotions on her towards them. I will allow for my children to find themselves, I will not force my dreams or what I want for them. I will always speak light and love into my children they will know that they are somebody, that they are beautiful on the inside and outside, (regaurdless of how the world may tell them otherwise due to their skin color) that they have integrity, and that they can do whatever their hearts desire as long as they put their minds to it.


Other Fathers
Stand In Father
Save The Children - Marvin Gaye It's Your World (Part 1 & 2) - Common


In the case that I am not a father biologically, I still am a God father to a beatiful baby girl name Amalia Monet Brown. I’ve yet to hold her in my arms or give her hugs and tickle her but even though I’ve yet to see her in person we facetime frequently to catch up and conversate about how good cake and fried chicken taste. That is my baby regardless of how present and active her biological may or not be in her life. I will be there when she’s learning to ride her bike, I will be there to listen to her reading me a book, I will be there when she has her first crush. I will always be there for you Mali, you will never no what it feels to not have a father because I will be their. I love you.




Communication
Momma - Kendrick Lamar Love is - Common
Intro - J.Cole Love Yourz - J.Cole
Consideration, Concern,
Commitment


Momma has always taught you about communication, to use your words and not keep all of your thoughts and feelings pent up inside. To express yourself verbally with your mouth instead of physically with your fist. You already know that your thoughts can control your life, so this is a reminder to always be mindful of what you think and what you speak. With that being said always make a conscious effort to speak words of light and life into any and every situation no matter if it’s cliche or if you feel like there’s no point (ESPECIALLY IN TIMES LIKE THAT) or if you just don’t feel like it because again there is power in the tongue. When conflict arises you are to remain cool &


calm as a cucumber even in times where you are disrespected verbally. Always look within yourself to see what you could have done better in order to resolve a situation before you looking outwardly. In times like this remember to not come off aggressive (whether that being verbal or by body language) when communicating intense conversations. You are a man on understanding and compassion and you always take the high road, no matter what. In the event that you do slip up and fly off the handle and get disrespectful find peace within yourself and forgive yourself and then go seek out forgiveness to those you may have offended or hurt.


When in conversations with others be sure to fully listen to others and not wander off mentally. Remember that your body language gives off signs of communication as well, so be attentive of that as well. Lastly communication is the way that your spirit connects with the world and whenever you communicate whether that be with self or with others, it being through verbal communication or body language, your speech must always be beautiful so that way it will become devine. (ALWAYS REMEMBER TO SPEAK HIGHLY & KINDLY ABOUT WHO YOU YOUR. DON’T BE AFRAID OR NEGLECT THE CHANCE TO SPEAK LIFE INTO YOURSELF, COMMUNICATION STARTS WITH YOU.)


First and Foremost I like to thank God. I’m beyond grateful for you allowing me to be me. I am thankful for every moment that I am blessed with being on this earth. I am thankful for my past experiences, I look forward to my future experiences, but more importantly I am honored and elated to just be in the present. You kept me even when I didn’t want to be kept, you loved me when I couldn’t even find reasons to love myself, you where the light when I was surrounded by darkness and for all of this I wholeheartedly just want to say thank you.
Thank You’s


I give thanks to my momma and my daddy. I have a couple of sayings that I tell people, one is that I have my daddy’s face and my momma’s legs. The other is I have my daddy’s hustle, grit & ambition while I carry my momma’s loving & caring heart. Even though y’all aren’t together anymore as your child I can see how and why yall formed a union. I get my sense of being genuine,honorable & respectfulness and desire of wanting a family from the both of y'all and I truly believed that it’s because when I was conceived I know that both of yalls spirits where pure
Thank You’s


and just full of love. There wasn’t any hidden agendas or games that were being played, just yall being insync with one another. I love y’all and I thank you both.
Thank You’s






I thank to my brothers, my sisters, my homies, my lovers & bestfriends. You know how they say who does the doctor go to when they are sick? Well Y’all are my doctors. Without yall I wouldn’t be here. I really do appreciate how much love and support I get from yall. Our conversations, interactions and just getting around all of y’alls energy, I’m very thankful to be able to have y’all apart of my community.
Thank You’s












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