2015-11-X8-compact

LAUGH LINES

So it does take a Rocket Scientist!!
British scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch

dead chickens at high velocity at aircraft windshields. This was to
simulate the test the strength of the windshields against bird strikes in
flight.

American engineers were eager to test the gun on the windscreens
of their new high speed trains.

However when the gun was fired the engineers stood shocked as
the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof
shield, smashed it into smithereens, blasted through the control
consol, snapped the engineers seat and embedded itself into the cab
wall.

The horrified yanks sent Rolls Royce the results and requested
suggestions.

Rolls Royce responded with a one line memo. “Defrost Chicken.”
Notice in a farmer's field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross this field for free. But the bull
charges.
On a repair shop door:
We can repair anything. (Please knock hard for entry – bell broken)

Nun
What do you call a sleepwalking
nun?
A roamin’Catholic.
Moses
Why did Moses wander through
the desert for 40 years?
Because even back then men
wouldn’t stop and ask for
directions.
Oil
A curate took his old car to the
garage for an oil change. After the
mechanic had briefly inspected
under the bonnet he turned to the
vicar: “If I were you vicar, I’d keep
the oil and change the car.”

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YOUNG IN SPIRIT

POPPIES
Poppies flower in the summer, don’t they? So why poppies in
November? You will see them everywhere in the next week or so, and
everyone from the smallest Rainbow or Beaver to the Queen will be
wearing a poppy on Remembrance Sunday.
We wear poppies because, among all the mud and chaos of the
battlefields of the Great War, men were amazed to see the humble
field flower of home spring up where the earth was disturbed – a blood
red splash of colour in a sea of khaki.

When the British Legion started an appeal to help
those whose bodies or minds had been smashed by war,
the poppy seemed an ideal symbol. And even now, when
World War I and II seem so far away, our troops are
fighting, being wounded and dying; reminding us that the
poppy is also a symbol of sacrifice.

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

PRINT A POPPY

How? Well the answer lies in your own hands. You will need a white
paper plate, red and black finger or poster paint and two margarine lids
or saucers to put the paint on.

Put some newspaper on the table and start. Squeeze some red
paint onto one lid or saucer and put black paint on the other one. Put
your thumb into the red paint and use it to make 5 overlapping petals
in a circle on the edge of your plate. Put your index finger into the black
paint and use it to stamp a centre for your poppy.

Continue printing poppies all round the edge of your plate to make
a wreath. Leave it to dry and then you can write ‘Lest We Forget’ or
‘Remembrance’ in the middle of the plate. You could hang the plate in
your front window to share with others.

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

When is the first food fight mentioned in the Bible?

‘I looked and behold a flying roll!’

(Zech 5:1 KJV)

Do you know the phone number for the Garden of Eden?

Adam 8-1-2

Did you know that Paul was the 1st surfer in the Bible?

Remember in Acts when he ‘came ashore on a board’?

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PUZZLE CORNER

Codeword

Each letter in this puzzle is
represented by a number
1-26.
Can you crack the code
and solve the crossword?
Every letter of the alpha-
bet is used at least once.
Three letters are already
in place to get you started.

SUDOKU
The rules for sudoku

are:
Fill the grid so that

every column &
every 3 x 3 box
contains all the
numbers from 1 to 9.

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HARTFIELD & COLEMAN’S HATCH DIRECTORY

Brownies Sue Maynard TEL:
07837 362601

Cricket Club Mike Brunsdon 01892 770044

Mums & Tots (Pre school & Babies) Anita Emery 01892 770642

1st Hartfield Beaver Colony Jane May 01342 851446

1st Hartfield Scout Troop Richard Wellbelove 07545 550793

Football Club Helen Farren 01342 325410

Hartfield Social Group, Lunch Club,‘Older &Active’ Linda Graham 01892 770487

Guides Denise Goldsmith 01892 665389

Hartfield Singers Patricia Arnold 01892 611414

Hartfield & District History Group Chris Sugg 01892 770619

Hartfield Horticultural Society Martin Donner 01892 770210

Hartfield Arts & Theatre Society (HARTS) Julie Madden 01892 771410
Playschool Sarah Adams 01892 770830

Royal British Legion David Holland 01342 822427

RSPB Wildlife Explorers Hilary Rowberry 01892 770478

St. Mary's School Board of Governors Hilary Rowberry 01892 770478

St. Mary's School (Secretary) Jane Smith 01892 770221

Sports Pavilion e-mail: [email protected]

Stoolball Club Jane Smith 01892 770871

Tennis Club Richard Hodge 01825 830413

Hartfield Village Hall (Bookings) Paula Jones 07973 448494

Hartfield/Medway Women's Institute Val Ball 01892 662873

Coleman’s Hatch Bowls Club Carol Beamond 01342 823674

Coleman’s Hatch Horticultural Society Eve James 01342 823506

Mothers’ Union Elizabeth Eggleton 01892 770260

Holy Trinity Vicarage Room Penny Dickens 01342 824276

Coleman’s Hatch Women's Institute Janette Everest 01892 770675

Hartfield & Coleman’s Hatch Chronicle editorial Dave Graham 01892 770487

e-mail for copy: [email protected]

Hartfield & Coleman’s Hatch Chronicle advertising Ian Burns 01342 850150

EAST SUSSEX COUNTY COUNCILLOR Cllr. Francis Whetstone 01892 770304

WEALDEN DISTRICT COUNCILLOR Cllr. Chris Hardy 01892 771344

HARTFIELD PARISH COUNCIL

Chair of Parish Council, Rights of Way and the Playschool Trustees

Cllr. J. Edwarde 01892 770201

Vice Chair of the Parish Council and of Town Croft & Parish Assets

Cllr. John Smith 01892 770871

Clerk to the Council Emma Fulham 01342 822404

e-mail:[email protected]

Chair of Environment/Transport Committee Cllr. Mike Colenutt 01892 770840

Chair of Planning Committee Cllr. Anne Higgins 01892 770312

Tree Warden Monty Larkin 01892 770777

WEALDLINK Community Transport All enquiries 01892 771332
01892 771331
"HATCH" Help in the Community 01892 863326

HARTFIELD VILLAGE SURGERY (surgery hours or answerphone) 101

Police Non Emergencies

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