let'stalkabout

LET’S TALK ABOUT

Renowned perfectionist Anna Wintour

PERFECTION

Is the great the enemy of the good, or the good the enemy of
the great, asks Davina Greene.

PERFECTIONISM CAN PLAY HAVOC WITH TOLERANCE:
YOU MAY BECOME DEEPLY UNIMPRESSED WITH OTHER

PEOPLE’S INABILITY, OR UNWILLINGNESS, TO MATCH
YOUR QUALITY LEVELS – WORSE STILL, YOU MAY BECOME

OPENLY DISMISSIVE OF OTHER PEOPLE’S GOOD WORK

Whenever perfectionism emerges as a theme that there is no one such thing as ‘perfection’. Manager A may push
during a coaching session, I always think you to write what she deems the perfect report; Manager B may
of two of my former colleagues. One of look at it and shrug, indifferently.
them, regardless of what project we were
discussing, always insisted that, ‘The great is the enemy So, when you consider all of the extra effort you put in, and the
of the good’ – making the point that it is senseless to time you spent, what did you really gain?
hang about, creating unnecessary delays in dotting ‘i’s The solution, as with any trait, it’s all about balance. Try not to be
and crossing ‘t’s, when a project is, say, 90 per cent at the extreme of too many scales – in this instance, focus less on
ready to launch. The final 10 per cent can simply be the idea of perfection and more on the idea of ‘good enough’, to
ironed out quickly post-launch; getting launched is exist in a more comfortable position on the perfection spectrum.
what is important. The other always said (and they Make sure that you’re getting as much as you give – being a time-
didn’t have to be in the same room for this to happen!) rich perfectionist can be tough enough, but being a perfectionist
that “The good is the enemy of the great” – making, multi-tasker could be dangerous! Above all, be kind to yourself;
again, a strong point that launching something at 90 apply your perfectionism on occasion, where it really matters.
per cent readiness is potentially silly when a little more
time and effort could solve more problems up-front. KEY POINTS

So, who was right? Well, both of them. It’s like 1Understand your perfectionsim: is it
anything in life: You consider the outcomes of either rooted in subject-matter passion, love
decision, and then make whichever leap seems correct of detail, excessive politeness, seeking
in the moment. You also work within the range of your praise, being ‘a good girl’, fear…?
own personality – like all traits, some degree of
perfectionism is present 24/7, although it may become 2Notice if your perfectionism is causing
more pronounced in certain environments. Needless you to be left behind.
to say, it carries both pros and cons.
3Notice when your output is ‘good
The pros? If the perfectionism has been identified, enough’.
named as such and is just a bit of healthy competition
with oneself, then it can mean that you will excel in 4Notice if the extra gratitude you
certain areas, enhancing your knowledge beyond what receive for your ‘perfect’ efforts is
other people are willing to tolerate (becoming viewed proportionate.
as the ‘specialist’ rather than the ‘generalist’). You will
gain a reputation for quality, often compensating for 5 Remember that your definition of
the modern ‘goldfish memory’ that so many people perfection may differ from others’.
have, unable to maintain interest in anything for any
significant duration. 6Decide where the beneficial balance
lies for you.
The cons? Well, perfectionism can be exhausting – in
itself, and in its ability to stop you sharing or delegating Davina Greene is The Personal Strategy Coach. To devise or
work (‘If you want it done right, do it yourself’). Also, boost your personal strategy, or for in-house coaching or
it can imply an ongoing concern in relation to making
errors or looking stupid, perhaps rooted in low confidence. It can business training, visit Purerocketfuel.com.
cause loss of perspective as you spiral further down into small
details, while others move on long before you’ve even noticed – on
a personal level, I’ve often seen this as a male/female divide at work,
with the men (‘I’m no good at admin’) moving on to the next big
thing, while the women conscientiously stay behind to make sure
everything is in order.
Perfectionism can play havoc with tolerance: You may become
deeply unimpressed with other people’s inability, or unwillingness,
to match your quality levels – worse still, you may become openly
dismissive of other peoples’ good work. And when someone’s per-
fectionism extends to the whole of their life (think of all the glori-
ous peacocking we witness daily on social media!), not being able
to attain the perfect life can truly create misery.
The hardest part of being a perfectionist is often the simple fact

This feature is brought to you in association with…

ACADEMY

IT Academy Logo FINAL.indd 1 4/3/14 4:11:12 PM “Resilient, or ‘emotionally strong’,
people rarely lose sight of the ongoing
positives and expect to bounce back –
and so, they do”

to happily adapt. Needs are to be expressed; obstacles are for
working around. Problems are ultimately a minor detail in a far
bigger picture.
Resilience is connected to acceptance of your ‘learner’ status. As
all trainers know, learning is a process of ups and downs, moving
through enthusiasm, frustration, acceptance, and then mastery.
That is, your reaction to the unknown is entirely predictable – so
stop being surprised by it.
Resilience is connected to flexibility. If you need high control
and can see only one acceptable outcome, then you’re almost
guaranteed to be upset when that outcome doesn’t happen, or
happens differently.
Resilience is connected to perspective. If your world is pretty
small (desk, couch, bed. Repeat) then any impact within it is going
to seem huge. If you live entirely within your zone of comfort, then
anything that rocks that particularly small boat is going to seem
devastating.
Resilience is connected to balance. We love to overwhelm
ourselves – busy is good, let’s ‘have it all’. We have no personal
strategy to save us from ourselves, or to compete with our inclusion
in other peoples’ plans…and so, we drown.
Finally, resilience is connected to communication. Once stressed,
we often hide away, embarrassed or just plain paralysed. Howev-
RESILIENCELET’S TALK ABOUT: er, this prevents us from using others’ expertise to accelerate re-
covery.
Do you withdraw from the world when When your resilience is shaky, it usually means that the negatives
something goes wrong? Then it’s time are outweighing the positives in your mind, to a more significant
to review your emotional strength, says degree than you can natu-
rally handle. Remember,
Davina Greene. for every single piece of THE RULES
negativity you need five
Several years ago, I was doing performance reviews with my pieces of positivity to
international teams. In one branch, there were two people counteract it. Why? Simply 1Accept that there is a
with equally strong potential, at a similar career stage, with because negative words learning process, which
similar strengths and areas for development. I joked to myself, take far firmer hold.
during prep, that I should bring both of them into the one To me, the key tools here includes getting things wrong.
review meeting, to save time. are knowledge of yourself
(so that you are not taken 2 Have a greater purpose, see
So, what happened? I carried out two individual reviews, of course. by surprise by your own a bigger picture, shrink the
They were hugely similar, in content and in each employee’s demeanour. impact of small details.
One continued the day with a spring in her step; the other, once outside
the room, told people that she felt a bit battered and bruised by it all, reactions) and an ability 3 Keep a positivity and
and withdrew for days. to create and implement a gratitude journal, to help
plan (to get yourself back
What was the difference? Ultimately, it was resilience. One had in positive motion). You
work/life balance and happily saw herself as a ‘continuous learner’. must choose to develop maintain the 5:1 balance.
The other had a life that consisted almost entirely of work, and wanted resilience.
to hear nothing but achievements and positives – any suggestion of 4‘Flip’ any negatives, framing
‘development’ was an insult. With a habit of placing unnecessarily Seek out challenge and them as opportunities or
high demands on herself, she had a far lower capacity for bounce-back growth. For a bigger
to a positive state. Workplace perfection was everything to her. I had learning.
therefore caused stress, hopelessness and a perceived loss of control.
picture, read biographies 5 Engage with people for
Resilient, or ‘emotionally strong’, people rarely lose sight of the of successful people, and advice, perspective and
ongoing positives and expect to bounce back – and so, they do. Dis- note all of their disasters quicker recovery.
appointment or failure means simply that something needs to be along the way. Resilience is
tweaked, or that learning has occurred. Change is something to which a muscle that simply needs
to be exercised – it can be 6 Have a personal strategy
improved, no matter how for drive and focus.
daunting it may seem.

Davina Greene is The Personal Strategy Coach. To devise or
boost your personal strategy, or for in-house coaching or

business training, visit Purerocketfuel.com.

This feature is brought to you in association with…

ACADEMY

IT Academy Logo FINAL.indd 1 4/3/14 4:11:12 PM Resilience: Are you mentally strong? When things go off-course,
will your (intended) followers be inspired by a strong, unflappable
CHRISTOPHER RAEBURN individual, alarmed by someone who seems broken, or something in
between?

Perspective: Do you think only in black and white, or can you see
the grey area? Can you only operate if you control every detail hands-
on? Is your world big, or a small world in which the slightest change
of detail seems overwhelming?

Humanity: Do you treat people kindly, like human beings, or are
people just ‘tools’ that you use? How’s your ego? Are you empathetic?
Regardless of what you think or want, do you have self-control?

“Plenty of ‘lovely people’ have been given
managerial positions but never looked
beyond maintaining the status quo – never
inspiring, never aiming for new peaks”

Responsibility: When something goes wrong, do you stick around
to resolve the situation, or do you blame-and-run? Can you make
good decisions? Where you involve – or nurture – other human
beings as part of your vision, do you take at least some ownership of
their behaviour (teaching, coaching, feedback, boundaries)?
Communication: Do you explain the vision clearly, do people
LET’S TALK ABOUT: know what you need from them? Do you bark at everyone in the
same way, or adjust your message based on your audience’s needs?
LEADERSHIP Are you flexible or can only engage with, and inspire, one type of
person?
In a leadership-obsessed world, it’s worth I strongly believe that a person can display real signs of leadership in
reminding ourselves what it’s really all one area, whilst seeming completely uninspiring in another. The most
about, says Davina Greene. uninspiring manager in a bank can be a true leader in a local sports
club setting, for example. The difference? Passion. Interest. Be under
Leadership, leadership, leadership. You can barely escape the no illusions, there are better, more natural leaders in some homes
word nowadays. So many employees want to be ‘on the and communities than there
leadership track’. Politicians and business managers proclaim are in some companies that
themselves leaders when, actually, they’re simply in a default KEY POINTSspend tens of thousands
position of power and have not been chosen in any convincing
sense by those they oversee. That is to say, they have few active followers. trying to turn managers into
Leadership, for me, is pretty much a synonym for ‘influence’ (as opposed leaders every year. 1You are a true leader if you
to ‘power’), and boils down to two simple questions. Firstly, do you have When I teach leadership, have active followers who
a strong vision to offer, and a strategy for getting there? Secondly, do listen to and value you.
you seem like a well-rounded, decent human being? If yes to both, I may we contemplate the well-
choose to engage with you. May. known Goffee & Jones
question: “Why should
To me, a strong combination of both is necessary. Plenty of visionary anyone be led by you?” 2 Leadership requires vision
innovators have become well-known, the stories of their deficient human If you are interested in combined with an ability
skills only uncovered much later – some sort of ‘awe’ resulting from leadership, try writing at to engage well with a wide
being in a game-changer’s presence can temporarily compensate for least a few bullet points on range of people.
poor treatment, it seems. Conversely, plenty of ‘lovely people’ have been
given managerial positions but have never looked beyond maintaining that – as above, you may 3 To analyse your leadership
the status quo – never inspiring, never aiming for new peaks. see that your skills are more potential, consider
alive in one environment what you offer to potential
We know what vision is, we know what strategy is. So, what than another. Above all, followers.
constitutes a well-rounded, decent human being? After being embedded remember that unless you’re
in behavioural language for almost 20 years, and spending many years doing something truly 4Leadership skills can be
listening to people’s workplace (and other) woes, I summarise it under game-changing, the chances taught, but authenticity is
five key areas, all of which are as relevant to a parent leading a family, a of strong technical skill always detectable and far more
politician leading a country, a volunteer leading in a community setting, removing a need for strong effective.
as to a senior manager leading a company. human skill lie somewhere
between slim and zero!

Davina Greene is The Personal Strategy Coach. To devise or
boost your personal strategy, or for in-house coaching or

business training, visit Purerocketfuel.com.