UPEOPLEWK2WED

TOSEXT

or not to sext, that is the

QUESTION
Everyone’s doing it? Maybe. But is everyone actually into it?
Maybe not. Our reader survey reveals our real attitude
to sexting and what it means for dating today

From Snapchat and Whatsapp to IS SEXTING A ONE THIRD
Facetime and phone sex, there are a BIG DEAL? OF YOU HAVE
multitude of tools available to us today
51% SEXTED
that seem to be tailormade for sexting. It has become say NO SOMEONE YOU
so easy to send a cheeky selfie or fire off a racy text to HAVE NEVER
someone you fancy, and of course for them to send one 17%Although
to you. There’s no doubt, sexting can be a lot of fun MET IRL!
when you’re both on the same page, but what about are on the fence!
when you’re not? Feeling the
Of those Pressure
If you were to listen to your pals or tap into the of you who
chatter on our newsfeeds, you’d be forgiven for have never 78% 19%
believing that everyone and their mother (well maybe
not their mother, but most people) are sexting and not sexted, said you don’t feel said you feel
only this but that everyone is totally into it, and if here are
you’re not then you really need to get with the times. pressure to sext the pressure to sext
Yes, the consensus seems to be that it’s part and parcel some
of modern dating, but we should just get on board reasons person you’re in a people you are
with it no questions asked and no boundaries set?
why: 80%relationship with chatting to online
Afterall, if everyone’s doing it, what’s the big deal?
The big deal is that as with anything when it comes to “I just find it way said that if you feel pressured it mostly
our sex lives, there will be some things that turn us on too cringey” comes from a partner or the person you’re
and some things that don’t. Some things that make us sexting rather than from friends or because
cringe and want to laugh out loud, and other things “I’m too afraid of
that make us think, “Hey, I’m actually kind of into repercussions - it you think everyone’s doing it.
that.” There are things that we’re totally comfortable could be sent or
with, and some things that just don’t sit well with shown to others” Who are you sexting?
us, even if we’re being made to think everyone else is
doing it or that we’ll get dumped if we don’t. 54%

It’s perfectly okay to feel this way about sexting text a partner
too. Trying to convince ourselves to do something,
anything, just because we think we should be doing 22%
it, because we’re afraid of being seen as out of the
loop, or prudish, is never a good idea. Which is why sext casual hook ups
we wanted to ask you, our readers, to tell us what you
honestly think of sexting. And, believe us the answers 8%
are very surprising.
sext people online you’ve never
So is EVERYONE met in person.
sexting?

89% 57%

of you have sent sent a sexually
either a text or pic explicit pic

76% 68%

sent a sexually of you don’t
explicit text actually know if you
friends are regular

sexters

The Dick Pic

Okay, so here’s the thing: Studies have shown that
when it comes to triggering sexual desire, man are
more aroused by visual stimuli than women – we’re
a little more complex. We require sound, touch, sexy
situation, rather than just a pretty picture to get us
going. This is why sexting strikes a different chord in
men and women. The here’s-my-penis surprise sext isn’t
exactly a charming turn-on for us without some kind
of context or lead up, especially since 79 per cent of
you have said that you don’t even find dick pics sexy
in the first place. Let’s face it, a strange cock you’ve
never met before popping up in your Whatsapp can be a
bit of a shocker. Especially if it’s the very first message
you receive. And guys, well most guys with half a brain
know this. So why do they do it? It would be easy to
write it off as men are gross and stupid, but that’s not
it. Actually, studies have identified a few reasons.

+ Maybe they are a bit stupid. They genuinely think

because they’d love to receive a tit pic from a stranger,
that the opposite of that must be true!

+ The anonymity of the internet allows them

to engage in more sexually aggressive, casual, or
uninhibited behaviour than they might in real life.

+ In nature, male mating strategies have always

included a wee bit of boldness. That’s why a rooster
has a big red comb and a peacock has so many colours.

+ It satisfies their inner flasher. Yeah, you know

the weirdo who goes around in a trench coat flashing
his junk at people. This is the digital version. Sexual
exhibitionism turns them on.

+ Exerting power and control, plain and simple.

HALF OF YOU HAVE
RECEIVED AN

UNWANTED DICK PIC

Of these only

24%

were asked for

76%

were unsolicited

17%

of you have shown these
pics to friends

Sexting and Dating Sexting

Half of you 43% Good
talked about THINK IT’S
sexual things OKAY TO SEXT Sense
you would BEFORE MEETING
never talk IN REAL LIFE If sexting is a part
about face to of our life then it
face with that But makes sense to at
least be safe and
person 72%
sensible - ish
22% 64% think it gives
you unrealistic + By sexting too quickly, you’re
do feel it’s have said no expectations of
a necessary to sexting what sex will be likely to overhype what real-life
part of dating someone like with them sex will actually be like. Building
anticipation is one thing – building
73% (Ed’s note: I salute you!) Over half of expectations is another. It’s really
you admitted awkward to have great electric
don’t believe 56% chemistry online, and zero face-to-
sexting that your face chemistry.
would prefer not sexting
will make to have to sext! persona is + Having real-life sex gives you
someone like different to
them more in your real-life a natural in to start sexting. Plus
persona. you know you already fancy the
real life person, so it’s not as weird. All you
have to do is start with something
One woman’s answer to dick pics! like, “I can’t stop thinking about
last night” and take it from there.
Last year, LA-based writer Whitney Bell showcased an art exhibition called “I
Didn’t Ask for This: A Lifetime of Dick Pics”. It featured about 200 framed photos of + You never know what the
dicks. Of the installation she said, “It’s not dick-hating or man-hating. I love a good dick.
I just don’t love harassment. All of those dicks are unsolicited. I’ve asked for dick pics person is doing if you sext them
personally. But I don’t want to see a dick from some guy I’ve never met.” Her advice: out of the blue, or what their
“If a boy sends you an unsolicited dick pic. Send back a picture of a better looking notification settings are like. They
dick. A more photogenic dick. A dick with a future.” might be in a meeting or having
coffee with a pal. Even if you sext
regularly, make a habit of asking,
“Are you alone? I want to send you
something…”

+ Sexting is fun but you always

run the risk of your texts being
seen by others. There are just so
many ways your privacy can be
compromised. They could lose
their phone, get hacked, show
their friends or use it for revenge
porn if things don’t go well. Just be
careful.

+ With this in mind whenever

you send a snap, make sure to
keep your face out of it, along with
any identifying details like tattoos,
or moles. Check if there’s anything
identifying in the background
before you hit send – like say your
reflection in a mirror.