1 © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thriveWho Am I Becoming? (WAIB?)—Conversation Guide for Growing in RespectHumans want to flourish or to experience every aspect of their life as good. Research on human flourishing tells us that to thrive, we not only need to focus on our health, but we also need to prioritize personal growth or transformation. When we focus on “Who Am I Becoming?”and then consistently practice meeting the Relational Needs of others, we’re able to EXPRESS these traits as a part of our identity.Living a life that is consistent with values like being respectful, appreciative, comforting, or attentive is strongly associated with greater happiness and well-being. Researchers say that happiness is attained by intentional actionsconsistent with virtue (VanderWeele, 2017).Intentional Action #1Initiate a conversation with your team, a friend, colleague, or family member. Tell about your desire to grow and how you would like them to help you grow. Talk about how you want to BECOME more of a People-First leader!• Start with an expression of HUMILITY, something like: “I’m trying to become a better leader and stay open to change. We’re all on a journey of becoming, and sometimes it’s messy, but I am learning.”• Say WHY this conversation is important. “The Who Am I Becoming? (WAIB?) Assessment has helped me identify some of my GROWTH areas and how I need to get better at giving to the relational needs of others. (If appropriate) I also want to grow because this is one of your top relational needs.”What is Respect? Respect is treating people as important, regarding them with great value, and honoring others with your words and actions.The opposite of respect is disrespect, undervalue, or abuse.Respect includes using an appropriate tone of voice and apologizing when you have done something wrong or messed up. It includes listening without interrupting or checking with someone before making plans that affect them. It sounds like: “I’d like to hear your ideas.” “What do you prefer?” “I was wrong. Will you forgive me?”Respect is Not:Here is what respect is NOT. It’s not being rude or disrespectful. It’s not interrupting, gossiping, or being sarcastic. Respect also does not include being late or treating others as less important than yourself.Remember a time when someone has been rude or disrespectful to you or a time when you missed giving this need to someone else.Pause & Reflect:“As I’m working to get better at meeting the key Relational Needs for people around me, it will be important that I become more respectful. I would appreciate your support in helping me grow in this way.”1. “I sometimes experience disrespect when people interrupt me while I’m talking.”2. “How about you? When do you, at times, feel disrespected?”Transformation in Character and VirtueT.H.R.I.V.E. Solutions
© Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thrive 2Intentional Action #2Watch the short video on RESPECT and then have a VULNERABLE discussion about the important ways someone can experience RESPECT.We all have the need for respect, but we also have unique and personal ways we like for others to show it. Here are six unique dimensions of respect.• Check-in with me before making a decision that affects me.• Give me a chance to share my ideas, opinions, and perspectives.• Respect my property, privacy, and time.• Treat everyone with dignity and value regardless of any differences.• Talk to me with a respectful tone of voice and be careful to listen without interrupting.• Apologize without defensiveness.Pause & Reflect:In my growth journey as a People-First leader, I want to become more respectful of people around me and give to them in ways that are most meaningful and important.1. “From the six examples above, which aspect of RESPECT is MOST important to you?”2. “What would be a second way I could meet your need for RESPECT?”IMPORTANT: Make note of your partner’s responses in order to personalize meeting this relational need for them.Intentional Action #3Consider watching this short video together on respect and express GRATITUDE for your team/partner’s feedback and support of your growth journey.For the next few weeks, ask for feedback on your initiative and how well you’re doing at giving to this need in their life.Celebrate together as you experience being transformed in this area of character!ReferencesVanderWeele, T.J. (2017). On the promotion of human flourishing. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, U.S.A., 31:8148-8156.Optional Resources Scan or click the QR code to access the Building a Culture of Respect Growth Guide.Scan or click the QR codes below to take the online Relational Needs Inventory and Who Am I Becoming? (WAIB?) Self-Assessment.Relational Values At WorkBuilding aCulture ofRespectWho Am I Becoming? (WAIB?) Self-AssessmentRelational Needs Inventory