5 © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thriveWhat is Filling Your Emotional Cup?A Helpful Illustration!The concept of your emotional cup is a helpful illustration of how our emotions, particularly painful ones, can stay with us and hinder us in our journey of well-being.The amygdala is the primary part of our brain that is in charge of emotion. We can better understand our emotions by thinking of the amygdala as our “Emotional Cup.”When our Relational Needs like acceptance, appreciation, or respect are MET, we experience feelings like gratitude, joy, and love. However, painful feelings can crowd out positive emotions in our Emotional Cup when relational needs are UNMET. When this happens, we are left experiencing feelings of hurt, anger, guilt, anxiety, disrespect, shame, and stress. All of these emotions fill our Emotional Cup.Why Talk About the Emotions In Our Cup?When positive or painful situations happen in our day, we feel something—both the positive and the painful. For the best emotional health, it’s important to notice our emotions, slow down to feel them, acknowledge them, and then possibly share them with others.Pause and Reflect:Think of something positive you experiencedin the last few days and how you felt. Complete the following sentences and then share them with someone you trust. Ask them to do the same.• One of the positive/enjoyable/fun/good things that happened recently was and I likely felt .Pause and Reflect:Think of something painful you experienced in the last few days and how you felt. Complete these sentences and then share them with someone you trust. Ask them to do the same.• One of the painful/frustrating/challenging/hard things recently was and I likely felt . We Only Have So Much CapacityThe “Emotional Cup” concept also reminds us that we can only hold so much emotion because we only have so much capacity, just like a real cup, and painful emotions tend to crowd out the positive ones. Painful Emotions Need Special CareOur painful feelings can be split into five general categories: Hurt, Anger, Fear, Guilt, or Condemnation/Shame. (See the layers in the diagram on the next page).When our Relational Needs go UNMET, we experience a complex combination of painful feelings. If we don’t do something to intentionally empty our painful emotions—they accumulate. Health: Physical, Mental, and EmotionalT.H.R.I.V.E. Solutions
© Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thrive 6The Emotional CupWhat’s filling your cup?Your brain can only hold so much emotion. When our emotional cup gets full, we all begin to display specific symptoms that indicate we’re at emotional capacity.What symptoms are most common for you when your emotional cup is full?For more information and complete resources to explain the Emotional Cup go to relationalvalues.com. ©Relational Values AlliancePause and Reflect:From the five categories of painful emotions, the categories that are most common for me to feel are .(For example, The categories that are most common for me to feel are anger and guilt. I have a tendency to lose my temper and then feel guilty afterward.) When emotions accumulate—like pouring water into a cup—they begin to ”spill over” into various symptoms. This also means we have less room for positive emotions.Watch the video and notice how this man obviously has a full Emotional Cup. His anger and frustration ARE spilling over!When our Emotional Cup gets full, we all display specific symptoms. These symptoms indicate that we’re at emotional capacity.Pause and Reflect:Look at the list of symptoms above the diagram. Which ones might you display when your Emotional Cup is full?When my Emotional Cup is full, I tend to show symptoms like .