1 © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thriveIdentifying My Unhealthy ThinkingWhy Think About Thinking Patterns?A thinking pattern is the habitual way our minds process what is happening to us and around us. Some of our thinking patterns are good and healthy, reflecting what is true. Some are not. Some of our thinking patterns reflect distortions of what is true. These patterns may impact our ability to handle challenges and form close relationships.Our thinking patterns develop over the course of a lifetime. They are automatic, often occurring without us even realizing it until someone else points it out. Our experiences during our growingup years can impact how we think about the world, how we approach it, and specifically, how we interact with those we relate with.Pause and Reflect:When have you noticed that the way you think about things can be a challenge in your relationships?I remember when I had a very different way of approaching/thinking about .I realized my thought process wasn’t 100% accurate because .Six Common Unhealthy Thinking PatternsLet’s address six common patterns and identify which ones we most often exhibit. Our unhealthy thinking needs to be challenged and replaced with truth. A friend, family, or trusted colleague can help us see a more truthful perspective.Polarizing means:• There is only one way to do something.• Everything is right or wrong or in absolutes.Personalizing means:• Life events are perceived as personal rejections and attacks.• I often have a “It-must-be-my fault” perspective.Generalizing means:• Past experiences become predictors of the future. Statements like, “ I’ll never … “ or “It will always . . .” are common.Magnifying means:• Making a “big deal” out of “little things.”• Making mountains out of molehills is common.Minimizing means:• Feelings about significant events or struggles are often denied.• Making a “little deal” out of “big” emotional pain.Emotional Reasoning means:• Confusing feelings with facts.• “If I feel it—it must be true!”Pause and ReflectGuess the thinking pattern you display most often. Share this with someone you trust.My typical thought pattern is probably .Next, complete the questionnaire on the next page. Check the statements you agree with. Leave the box blank if you disagree. The thinking pattern(s) you identify with is/are the one(s) you selected most often. Discuss responses with a partner.Health: Physical, Mental, and EmotionalT.H.R.I.V.E. Solutions
© Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thrive 2This chart gives the statements that match the six unhealthy patterns. Find the items that you agree with then identify/circle which thinking pattern(s) the statement represents.Polarizing: 1, 7, 13Magnifying: 2, 8, 14Personalizing: 3, 9, 15Generalizing: 4, 10, 16Emotional Reasoning: 5, 11, 17Minimizing: 6, 12, 18From the questionnaire, I have a tendency toward:_____________________________________When have you seen this in me? _____________________________________Remember: Everyone demonstrates at least one of these unhealthy thinking patterns! These patterns often contribute to the emotional hurt and conflict we experience in relationships. Therefore, it is important to become aware of how your own unhealthy thinking pattern(s) might be a part of any disconnects or struggles you have with people around you. Self-awareness is the first step for personal growth and change!Scan or click the QR code to download this worksheet.1. I see things very much as black and white.2. I tend to make mountains out of mole-hills.3. I often take things personally.4. Past disappointments seem to predict the future.5. What I am feeling is more important than the facts.6. I often think people make too much of their problems. They should just get over it.7. There is a place for everything and everything has it’s place.8. Many things seem to be a major issue.9. It’s very important to sense others’ approval.10. I just know things won’t get any better.11. I can’t really believe I’m loved unless I feel it.12. I can handle almost any problem that comes my way. I don’t really need much support from anyone.13. Being perfect in what I undertake is essential to me.14. I seem to over-react to relatively small irritations.15. If someone in my family is upset, I must have been part of the reason.16. I tend to cross people off my list if they hurt or disappoint me.17. If I feel unloved, it must be because no one loves me.18. There’s no reason to get so upset or so emotional.Unhealthy Thinking QuestionnaireReview the statements below. Check the statements you agree with. In other words, are the statements true for you? Leave the box blank if they are not true of you.