© Relational Values Alliance 1RelationalValues.comYou... Growing in Great RelationshipsFoundations of Caring-ConnectionsFour-Session Growth Guide
2 © Relational Values AllianceRelationalValues.comCopyright © 2026 by Relational Values Alliance. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or information storage and retrieval system, except for brief quotations in reviews, without written permission of the publisher. For more information address Relational Values Alliance, 2511 South Lakeline Blvd., Cedar Park, TX 78613.Helping You T.H.R.I.V.E.Human “flourishing” or well-being has been the focus of many disciplines over the centuries and very generally might be described as: “a state in which all aspects of a person’s life are good.” The term “all aspects of life” has various champions across many disciplines that tend to organize around important “life” domains. The Harvard Human Flourishing Program has developed a six-part framework upon which this series is based. See the Appendix for additional information on each domain and an opportunity to take the T.H.R.I.V.E. assessment.
© Relational Values Alliance 1RelationalValues.comWhy do close and caring relationships matter? Years of research, from Harvard University and many other institutions, have consistently highlighted the crucial role of close, caring relationships in fostering a flourishing life. These studies indicate that positive relationships contribute to greater happiness, better health, and longer lives. Strong social connections and close relationships are more important for wellbeing as people age than wealth, fame, social class, IQ, or even genes! Some of the key research findings regarding close relationships and flourishing include:• Mental and Emotional Well-being: Close relationships significantly impact mental and emotional health. They offer emotional support, reduce stress, and increase feelings of happiness and belonging, also helping to delay cognitive decline as people age. • Marital Satisfaction has a protective effect on mental health. Happily partnered individuals reported consistent happiness even when experiencing physical pain, unlike those in unhappy marriages, who experienced more emotional pain alongside physical pain. WhyPositive relationships promote psychological resilience, helping individuals handle life’s challenges with greater emotional strength and flexibility.• Loneliness is harmful. Loneliness and social isolation are identified as significant risk factors, increasing the risk of disease, depression, and premature death, comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. • Quality is important. It’s not the number of relationships, but the quality of close, caring relationships that matter most. Supportive bonds help regulate stress and buffer against life’s challenges. • Parental warmth is positive. New research suggests that parental warmth during childhood is a positive factor for flourishing across multiple domains in mid-life, including happiness and mental health.• Relationships Require “Intentionality.” The researchers emphasize that relationships are dynamic and require ongoing care, attention, and nourishment to grow and thrive. In essence, flourishing research on close and caring relationships points to them being critical to overall life happiness and fulfillment.
2 © Relational Values AllianceRelationalValues.comHow to Use this ResourceThis resource is intended to develop your personal leadership skills and IDENTITY as a “People-First” Leader.There are four sessions, each taking approximately 45–60 minutes to complete. This resource can be used in several different ways:• Small-group gatherings• Team meeting discussions• “Lunch-and-learn” conversations, or• Mentoring new members into your cultureThe best results will come from spending time in personal reflection as you engage in discussions with others about the principles. Reminder: “It’s hard to grow yourself by yourself!”Next would come the intentional inclusion of various “People-First” practices into your personal life, team, or organization.During each session, we will provide opportunities for your growth as a People-First leader, enabling you to become someone others want to follow at home, school, work, or in your community.How to Cultivate Close RelationshipsCultivating and nurturing close relationships is crucial for a flourishing life, according to the research. Some ways to do this include:• Prioritize relationships. Recognize that relationships are fundamental to a meaningful life and prioritize investing time and energy in them.• Engage actively and intentionally. Connect with friends, colleagues, and loved ones regularly through conversations, shared activities, or check-ins.• Practice social fitness. Maintaining healthy relationships requires effort and practice, similar to physical fitness. This involves being present, actively listening, and showing appreciation.• Develop emotional intelligence. Develop empathy, self-awareness, and impulse control—skills that build and sustain meaningful connections.• Seek shared interests. Engaging in conversations and activities that align with your common interests and passions can provide opportunities to build connections around shared interests.• Nurture existing relationships. Strengthen existing relationships by first truly knowing others and then being supportive, forgiving, and positive. Harvard researchers and others have provided unique insights into the long-term impact of various factors on well-being, along with practical strategies for improving close, caring relationships as keys to a flourishing life. How
© Relational Values Alliance 3RelationalValues.comThe Loneliness Epidemic............................................................................................................................................4Strengthening Relationships Through Conversation..................................................................................6Getting to Know You—Connected and Less ALONE....................................................................................8Sharing Celebrations and Concerns....................................................................................................................10Appendix: You as a Person Who Thrives.....................................................................................................12–13ContentsYOUR Journey in BECOMING!Importantly, in a People-First Culture, there are leaders whose IDENTITY is characterized as “thriving.” This transformation journey in wellness and flourishing can be characterized by the four stages noted below:• For example, you may be simply EXPLORING the importance of giving-first to others, or• You may have EMBRACED the importance of this practice and are seeking practical ways to live it out.• You may be seeking to develop a daily practice of EXPERIENCING the disciplines of giving-first, but hopefully, most important to you is…• YOU EXPRESSING the example of giving-firstas your IDENTITY! It’s “who you are.“
4 © Relational Values AllianceRelationalValues.com © Relational Values Alliance 1 relationalvalues.com/thriveThe Loneliness Epidemic: The Need for Relational ConnectionPsychologists define loneliness as the gap between the social connections you would like to have and the ones you actually experience. Loneliness has even been named a serious issue of public health. In 2017, former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy called loneliness a “public health epidemic.” According to researchers, our lack of social connection poses a significant risk to an individual’s health. Poor social connection is associated with an increased risk of heart disease and stroke. A lack of relational connection is associated with an increased risk for anxiety, depression, and dementia. Finally, a lack of social connection can increase the risk of premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day! We are hardwired for human connection and close relationships. This means bad things can happen when we’re lonely.Pause and Reflect: Scan or click the QR code to watch the video and think about how your brain, body, and emotions are impacted when you are feeling lonely.When I’m feeling lonely, I am more likely to ___________________________________.When I’m feeling lonely, I’m less likely to ___________________________________.Remember: Loneliness is all around us, but so are the opportunities for connection!Relationships Remove LonelinessFamily, friends, colleagues, and neighbors provide some of the primary opportunities for social connection and can be essential antidotes for the dangers of loneliness. “Social connection—and the quality of our relationships with others—is a critical and under-appreciated contributor to health, community safety, resilience, and prosperity. Far too many Americans lack social connection, which compromises these benefits and leads to poor health and other negative outcomes (Murthy, V. 2023).”Positive relationships are crucial for our ability to thrive, but HOW do we make these connections? We need a framework!1. Get to KNOW and CARE for Others• Learn about one another’s family, interests, strengths, struggles, goals, and dreams.• Take thought of one another. Ask, “How are you really doing today?”• Celebrate special days, achievements, etc.• Give comfort. “I’m so sorry you have been going through this…”• Look for ways to give first to each other. Meet others’ top relational needs.Pause and Reflect:Talk about recent opportunities you’vehad to get to know and care for a family member, friend, or colleague.Recently, I was able to with (name the person) . Who else could benefit from your initiative to get to know and care for them? T.H.R.I.V.E. SolutionsRelational Closeness in Caring Connections
© Relational Values Alliance 5RelationalValues.com © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thrive 22. SERVE and TRUST Other People• Deepen trust by sharing your life with others. You can’t build trust by stiff-arming people!• Serve others with apologies when needed. “I was wrong when…Will you forgive me?”• Express acceptance and forgiveness if someone has let you down.• Be a safe place that says, “You can be real here and still be cared for.”• Stop triangulating! Don’t talk critically or negatively about someone to other people. Triangulating creates fear and destroys trust! Pause and Reflect:Scan or click the QR code to watch the video and then talk about recent experiences when you have come to trust another person.Who could benefit from more of your initiative to build trust with them?The Benefits of Connected RelationshipsWhich of these benefits do you and your friends, family, or team do well?1. We look for ways to care for one another, which means we have very few conflicts.2. Knowing one another helps us stay motivated, communicate, and collaborate.3. Other people can sense that our team, family, or organization are caring and connected.4. Giving to one another motivates us to serve friends, colleagues, and people at home or outside our group.5. We prioritize resolving conflict and strengthening relationships, which maximizes our effectiveness.6. We can gratefully put others’ needs first because we regularly give appreciation.7. Because we are caring people, we often find creative solutions to challenges in our relationships, organization, or team.8. Because we are a connected team, we often deliver exceptional customer experiences.Celebrate: I’m grateful we do well at…(i.e., “I’m grateful we do well at giving support to each other, especially on challenging projects.”)Growth Areas: What characteristics would you like to see your friends/family/team improve, and what can you do to help with this improvement?(i.e., “I think we could improve on resolving conflict. I need to be less defensive and apologize more often when I mess up.”)YOUMETALK TOABOUTTHEM
6 © Relational Values AllianceRelationalValues.com1 © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thriveStrengthening Relationships Through ConversationStrengthening our relationships begins by genuinely and progressively getting to know the people we relate to and serve with. A caring, People-First Culture allows each person to bring their “story” to the relationship or group. This provides the foundation for removing aloneness and improves well-being, communication, engagement, motivation, and collaboration.Pause to watch the video by scanning or clicking the QR code.Let this video be a reminder that everyone around you has a unique story. You may not have a ball pit, but you can be a part of making good things happen by taking the initiative to know more about the people in your life. Having great conversations helps build and strengthen relationships!Pause and ReflectHow might you benefit at home, school, or work if the people in your life genuinely knew you and took the time to hear parts of your story? What would be great about this for you?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________If the important people in your life took the initiative to know you AND demonstrated care so that you felt less alone, how might that be important to you?__________________________________________________________________________Learning to initiate conversations that go deeper than “How are you?” and “I’m fine” is one of the first steps to addressing isolation and building strong relationships at home, work, school, or in our community. Taking the time to hear others’ stories deepens connections among team members. Here are some practical steps of action:1. As you share a little of your life’s story, take turns asking about and then listening to others’ stories. Take the initiative to start these relationship-strengthening conversations. “What’s your story? Tell me a little about yourself.”2. On the next page are a few additional questions to help you get started. Take turns answering one of the questions and asking one of them. You can download the Strengthening Relationships worksheet by scanning or clicking the QR code.3. Take initiative to ask questions like these in new and existing relationships. Just like the video, ask about things you don’t yet know about this person, listen for things you have in common, and then look for ways to demonstrate care based on what you know.Vocational Fulfillment, Adequacy, and PurposeT.H.R.I.V.E. Solutions
© Relational Values Alliance 7RelationalValues.com © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thrive 28. “Can you tell me a little bit aboutyour family?”9. “Tell me about your children or pets.”10.“What’s one of the best memories you had growing up?”11.“Who has had a meaningful impact on your life? How are you grateful?” 12.“What achievement are you most proud of and why?”13.“What are some challenges you’re facing outside of work?”14.“What’s one of the challenges you’ve overcome in your life?”15.“What compliment could someone give you to brighten your day?”16.“Name a time in your life that took a dramatic turn?”Click or scan the QR code to download this worksheet and begin your conversations.Pause and Reflect:With a family member, friend, colleague, or team take turns asking one another these strengthening relationships questions. Scan or click the QR code to watch this video segment on the importance of getting to know others.Strengthening Relationships“I’d like to get to know you better. If it’s okay, I want to ask you this question:”1. “Where’s your favorite restaurant?”2. “What do you like to watch on TV the most?”3. “What’s your favorite type of music, artist, songs?” 4. “What do you enjoy doing most in your spare time?” 5. “How would you describe your perfect day?” 6. “Who do you like to spend your vacations with the most?”7. “What’s one area of personal growth that you’re working on?”
8 © Relational Values AllianceRelationalValues.com1 © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thriveGetting to Know You: Connected and Less ALONEOur world is experiencing a “loneliness epidemic” and this painful truth demands we take strategic, intentional actions to build stronger relationships (Office of the Assistant Secretary for Health, 2023).ALONENESS (or feeling lonely) can be described as feeling unsure if anyone truly knows or cares about you.One intentional step we can take to address loneliness is to focus on genuinely and progressively getting to know those we relate to and work with.Scan or click the QR code to watch this video. It illustrates how we are each hard-wired to connect with other humans.Pause and Reflect:After you watch this interaction between teens and the senior adults, complete these statements:1. These people seem to have experienced feeling less ALONE because they connected in simple ways like:• •2. How did feeling less alone affect them?3. “When I am feeling ALONE, I tend to .” (do what?)4. In contrast, when someone takes the time to get to know me, I feel less alone. I feel grateful for these times because .”The Workplace Imperatives for a Relational CultureA strong case can be made for the increased priority of reducing “aloneness” even at work. There are many challenges in the workplace, but in a Gallup global survey, respondents were asked, “If you could make one change at your current employer to make it a great place to work, what would it be?”—The #1 answer (41%) said, “A change of culture!” (Gallup, Inc., 2023). Employees care about relationships at work!Turning Crisis into OpportunitiesA recent report on the “Loneliness Epidemic“ encourages us to create intentional strategies to learn about the personal lives of people around us. The reason why? We increase the likelihood that authentic social connections will develop when we feel truly known and cared for—as real people—individuals with passions outside of work, concerned citizens, and community members (Murthy, 2017).The GETTING to KNOW YOU worksheet and exercise (included) is intended to deepen how well we knowother people and help us plan how to “give first“ to others based on what we know. Set aside time with a friend, family member, or colleague to have these conversations: Pause and Reflect:Choose one of the five questions below to SHARE with a colleague, friend, or family member and then ask them to share in return:1. My family includes ; what about your family?2. One of my favorite sports teams is ; what is your favorite team?3. One of the places I would like to travel is ; where would you like to travel? 4. One of my favorite restaurants is ; what is one of yours?5. Something you might not know about me is ; how about you?Based upon this information, plan an intentional action where you give first to this person. You could: • Share an article or video about their favorite sports team or place they would like to travel. • Share a gift card to their favorite restaurant on an upcoming birthday or other celebration. Complete the Getting to Know You worksheet for yourself, give it to someone you would like to know better, and schedule a time to discuss responses.Vocational Fulfillment, Adequacy, and PurposeT.H.R.I.V.E. Solutions
© Relational Values Alliance 9RelationalValues.com© Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thrive 2 ©David L. Ferguson Used by Permission Getting to Know You Date Updated:Top 3 Relational Needs:First Name (Preferred) Last Name Birthday (month/day)Significant Other/Spouse Anniversary (month/day/year) Birthday (month/day)Children, Close Family, and Best Friend/s Name/Age Relationship Name/Age RelationshipName/Age Relationship Name/Age RelationshipName/Age Relationship Name/Age RelationshipName/Age Relationship Close Friend Close Friend Pets: Name/Type? Favorites Cold Drink Hot Drink SnackFood Dessert Restaurant Music Group/Artist Sport Team/s HobbiesSignificant Life Reflections Share below additional life reflections about you:Life Celebrations (Past)Life Celebrations (Present) Life Dreams (Future)If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?If you could have dinner with anyone, who would it be? (Living or deceased)Something interesting about you which others might not knowCell Phone: Store/Company Current City, StateOther significant datesWorkaversary (month/day/year) Scan or click the QR code for a breakdown from our team on the power of Getting to Know You.Scan or click the QR code to download this form electronically
10 © Relational Values AllianceRelationalValues.com3 © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thriveSharing Celebrations and Concerns: Key to Emotionally Connecting with OthersStrong emotional connections provide a sense of belonging and security, which are crucial for our overall well-being. Emotional connections strengthen the bond in a relationship, improve communication, increase trust, and ultimately lead to fewer conflicts. When we are intentional about connecting emotionally at home, school, and work, we are better able to bounce back from the inevitable challenges of life.Every Life Has a Story! Pause to watch this video by scanning or clicking the QR code.As you watch, look for things that people are celebrating. Secondly, look for the challenges customers are facing. Let the video remind you that everyone you know and see has a story. You can be a part of making good things happen for others (and yourself) by listening for and caring for their celebrations and concerns.Pause and Reflect:1. After watching the video, what celebrations had the most impact on you? Why?2. What challenges had the most impact on you? Why?Pause and Reflect:When we know a person’s story, a great connection can happen when we show that we care about their story! To demonstrate care means listening, verbalizing our care, AND being appropriately vulnerable with our own story. Here’s how!Practice Sharing Celebrations• Ask someone about their life celebrations. “What’s one thing you’re celebrating about life right now?”• When the other person shares, respond with words of celebration. Share what you feel FOR them. “I’m so happy for you; that’s great!” Or, “Wow, I’m glad that happened for you!”• Tell about a recent personal or workplace celebration of your own. Allow the other person to celebrate with you.Practice Sharing Concerns• Next, ask someone about their current struggles or concerns. “What’s one thing in life that’s a little hard for you right now?”• When the other person shares, offer a caring response. Consider how the other person is likely feeling and then tell them what you feel FOR them. “I am reallysorry,” “I’m so sad about that for you,” or “I feel compassion for you. I’m sorry you are going through this.”• Tell about a recent struggle or concern of your own. Let the other person give you a caring response.We Grow Fastest When We Practice Relational Skills in Every Aspect of Life: Personal, Family, and TeamUse the following ideas to practice your emotional connection skills in the moment, but also as prompts for all your relationships.Health: Physical, Mental, and EmotionalT.H.R.I.V.E. Solutions
© Relational Values Alliance 11RelationalValues.com © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thrive 4Practice in Your Personal LifeTake the initiative to ask about celebrations and concerns with those closest to you and then be vulnerable with your own.Initiate one of these conversations with your closest relationships:• What things bring you the most joy each day?• We haven’t talked about the good things that have happened recently. What are you celebrating at work? In our home? With the kids? At school? With friends?• What are some of the toughest things you’re facing? I want to know so I can care for you.Listen attentively and respond with emotion. Be ready to share your celebrations and concerns with vulnerability, humility, and sincerity.Practice in Parent-Child RelationshipsInitiate one of these conversations with your child/children:• What’s the most fun about being _____ years old? In ________ grade?• What kind of things make you happy? What things make you sad? I care about both!• What was a high point for you today?• What was a low point for you today?Listen attentively, respond with emotion, and don’t dismiss or belittle their answers. Be ready to share your (age-appropriate) celebrations or concerns in return.Practice Celebrating as a TeamThink about any successes, accomplishments, or high points you have experienced recently (personal and/or business). Share one of these with your team:• “I’m happy and proud that . . .” or “I’m grateful because . . .”Celebrate with each person after they share. Tell them what you feel FOR them now that you know this part of their story.• “I’m excited that happened for you!” or “You must have felt_____ . I’m thrilled for you!”Practice Sharing Concerns as a TeamThink about any concerns or struggles you have recently experienced (business or personal). Share one you would like your team to know and care about.• “One of my biggest concerns recently is . . .” or “One of the hard things going on now is . . .”Offer caring responses to one another in return. Tell what you feel FOR this person now that you know this part of their story.• “I’m so sad this is happening for you . . .” or “I care about you and feel hurt with you.”Build stronger emotional connections by sharing celebrations and concerns regularly and often. Practice with your customers or donors to create loyalty and emotional engagement!Optional ResourcesScan or click the QR code to access the Building a Culture of Celebration Growth Guide. This resource is an excellent, foursession guide to strengthen relationships at work.
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© Relational Values Alliance 13RelationalValues.comTransformation in T Character and VirtueHealth: Physical, H Mental, and EmotionalRelational Closeness R in Caring ConnectionsIdentifying as Happy, Hopeful, and Satisfied with LifeIVocational Fulfillment, Adequacy, and VPurposeEnjoy Financial E Stability and FreedomPeople Who T.H.R.I.V.E. Give Attention to Their Continued GrowthScan the QR code to take the 12-question T.H.R.I.V.E. Assessment. Acknowledgment and PermissionsSpecial Acknowledgment and Gratitude to the Harvard Human Flourishing Program: The Program’s flourishing index measure is copyrighted under a Creative Commons License (CC-BY-NC 4.0). However, it can be used without permission for non-commercial purposes if proper citation is given. The reference for the paper in which the measure was presented is:VanderWeele, T.J. (2017). On the promotion of human flourishing. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, U.S.A., 31:8148-8156.Scan QR code to watch Harvard's video about their Human Flourishing Program.You as a Person Who T.H.R.I.V.E.s @Home, @School,@Work, in Faith, and in Community!Human flourishing or well-being can be described as “the place in which all aspects of a person’s life are good.” There are different perspectives about what is meant by “all aspects of life.” Still, researchers agree on the priority of assessing life holistically. To assess well-being, we must consider EACH of the important domains of life and how well we are flourishing in them.The Human Flourishing Program at Harvard has developed a tool to assess human flourishing based on five central domains: (1) character and virtue, (2) physical and mental health, (3) close social relationships, (4) happiness and life satisfaction, (5) meaning and purpose, and the sixth (6) domain relates to the stability of our finances or access to practical and financial resources that allow us to flourish and sustain well-being (VanderWeele, 2017).To thrive means “to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way; to flourish; to live a satisfying, meaningful life.” We can label the six domains of human flourishing with the T.H.R.I.V.E. acronym.