Discovering Celebration “Rejoice with those who rejoice...” (Romans 12:15a NIV) Relational Values In Faith
© Relational Values Alliance 1 Introduction Celebration Is an Important Part of Connection God created us with certain relational needs—needs that can only be met in a relationship with other people. One of the needs we all share is the need to celebrate together. It is part of being human to want and need others to celebrate the good things in life with us. No one likes to feel alone, even in the positive moments. For example, the most beautiful sunset is not as beautiful if we watch it alone. The most beautiful sunsets are the ones we share. Challenge yourself this week! Take a photo or video of a sunset and share it with a friend. You can say something like “I saw this sunset and wanted to share it with you. I thought you might enjoy it as much I did!” How do we become a person who celebrates and makes great connections? God tells us how. Romans 12:15a lets us know how to respond when someone is celebrating or rejoicing. “Rejoice with those who rejoice.” Celebration includes: • Being vulnerable with your own moments of celebration • Allowing others to celebrate with you • Looking and listening for celebrations of others • Initiating celebrations with people through words, actions, or other acknowledgments Share Your Story—Have a conversation with a friend or family member about how easy or hard it is for each of you to celebrate right now. For example: “I’m learning to become a person who celebrates with others. Right now, it is pretty easy for me to celebrate because…” Or, “Right now, it is tough for me to celebrate because…How about you?”
2 © Relational Values Alliance Learn the Skills of Celebration Take Action: Be the Catalyst When good things happen, we need someone to celebrate or rejoice with us. If we want to have great connections, we need to know what it LOOKS LIKE to celebrate well. WATCH THIS VIDEO to remind yourself what it LOOKS LIKE to celebrate. Let the tennis players inspire your celebrations! If we want to have great connections, we also need to know what it SOUNDS LIKE to celebrate. Here’s what celebrations do NOT sound like: • Ignoring the person and changing the subject • Talking about how you wish that had happened to you • Comparing your celebration story with theirs Here’s A VIDEO of what a celebration DOES sound like. It also means sharing your positive emotions in response to others’ positive stories or experiences. This is what it sounds like to rejoice with those who rejoice. • “I’m so glad that happened for you.” • “I’m happy for you. That’s amazing!” • “How cool is that?! I’m excited that you...” Ask a friend or family member about a recent celebration and then celebrate with them. Avoid responses that are NOT effective; practice the words above that ARE examples of celebration skills. Share Your Story—Have a conversation with a friend or family member about why it’s crucial to stop and celebrate milestones, accomplishments, good news, and positive things happening in our lives. For example: “I’ve been thinking about some of the positive memories in my life and how good it feels to have people join me in celebrating the little things, as well as the big things. I remember when _____celebrated with me about ______. It meant a lot to me because...” “How about you? When has someone celebrated with you about a big thing or a little thing in your life, and it meant a lot to you?” After this person shares their story, celebrate with them about their memory too! Finally, pray together. Thank God for how His Word helps build great connections. This week, take the initiative and have this conversation with two more people.
© Relational Values Alliance 3 What is Celebration? Session 1 Being intentional to cultivate an environment of celebration reinforces the values of your family, friends, and church community. It reminds your loved ones about the kind of people you’re all working to become. Celebrations show how much we care about our family and friends. When we celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, accomplishments, or any special day: we underline how important our relationships are to us. When we celebrate holidays and other significant days, we commemorate God’s blessings and the special moments that bring closeness and connection. As parents, family celebrations are a perfect time to teach and demonstrate our values, traditions, and faith to our children. Celebration includes: Vulnerably celebrating your own positive moments and recognizing times of celebration for others. This growth plan focuses on celebrating your and others’ growth as you live out the top ten relational needs. Let’s celebrate! WHY is celebration important? You’ll be living out God’s Word! Your church family will also benefit as you notice and celebrate good times with each other.
4 © Relational Values Alliance Part 1: Celebrating Our Need for Appreciation • Appreciation is: Recognizing someone’s accomplishments or efforts: especially noticing things they have DONE. Here’s a video for review. • Think about the ways YOU’VE grown in giving appreciation. When have YOU noticed someone’s accomplishments or efforts and said, “Thank you?” Celebrate your personal growth. • Share Your Story with a friend or family member: ”I’m grateful that I’m becoming a more appreciative person. I’m celebrating this growth because I...” (take fewer people for granted, have less conflict in my family, complain less and more positive things to say, am more grateful, etc.) • Celebrate Their Story: Next, notice the personal growth in the other person. Think about the times when he/she has recognized the accomplishments or effort of another person (maybe even including you). • “It was great to hear you give appreciation when...” Or “I heard you say ‘thank you’ to _____. I’m sure that made a difference in...” Or “I can tell that you’re making an effort to show more appreciation. I’ve seen that when _____. It looks good on you!” Part 2: Celebrating Our Need for Respect • Respect is: treating people as important and regarding them with great value. Watch the video here for a review. • Celebrate respect by asking a friend or family member these questions: “Please give me your opinion and perspective. I’d like to hear your ideas about a few fun topics today.” Celebrate and honor this person’s ideas. Treat them as important but make it a fun conversation! • Celebrate Their Story: Would you rather have a pause, rewind, or a fast-forward button in your life, and why? Or Would you rather lose all of your friends but keep your best friend or lose your best friend but keep the rest of your friends? Part 3: Celebrating Our Need for Encouragement • Encouragement is: Cheering on someone toward their goal: helping them become more determined, hopeful, or confident. Here’s a video for your review! • What’s something you can celebrate about someone else that they may not acknowledge on their own? Verbalize it and then give encouragement. • Celebrate Their Story: “I want you to know that I have seen you become more… I’m thrilled for you, and I believe in you!” Or “I’m celebrating how you’ve grown in the way you... God is truly transforming you in... I’m excited for you. Keep it up!”
© Relational Values Alliance 5 Make It Personal Session 2 How does celebration build healthier relationships? Let’s summarize just a few of the ways: 1. Families and friends who celebrate often learn not to take themselves or one another too seriously. Simply put: Celebrations help us have fun together! That’s one of the hallmarks of healthy relationships. 2. Families and friends who celebrate accomplishments, relationships, or efforts encourage continued effort. Celebrations help revitalize and re-energize the desire to keep trying or keep going. Celebrations help us live out Hebrews 10:24 and “urge one another on toward love and good deeds.” 3. Families and friends who celebrate may see an increase and even a restoration of their closeness and connection. Celebratory moments give the perfect opportunity to set aside differences or tension and enjoy being together. These moments help remind us of the importance of unity and how we need one another in the Body of Christ. Remember: Celebrating with others helps us focus on the good things happening in our lives as well as the positive moments in the lives of others.
6 © Relational Values Alliance Part 1: Celebrating Our Need for Acceptance • Acceptance is: Liking someone who may be different than you: not trying to change someone or fix them. Watch this video for a review of what acceptance is NOT. It is treating EVERY person as a hero! • Think about the ways YOU’VE grown in showing acceptance. When have YOU cared about someone different than you? Celebrate your personal growth. • Share Your Story with a friend or family member: ”I’m grateful that I’m becoming more accepting of others. I’m celebrating God’s change in me because I...” (have learned to value people, am less self-centered, etc.) • Celebrate Their Story: Notice the personal growth in the other person. Celebrate the times when they have demonstrated acceptance too. (Be careful not to talk badly about others as you do.) “I’m very impressed by how you’ve accepted _____ even though/even when...” Part 2: Celebrating Our Needs for Comfort and Support • Comfort is: Responding to a hurting person with words, feelings, and appropriate, gentle touch. Some of the most hurtful times are when we face struggles and challenges alone. Support is: Coming alongside another person and helping them with a problem or struggle. Here’s a video that reviews the need for support! • Watch this next video to hear more about the challenges of feeling alone, the joy of receiving support, and the celebration of accomplishment! • Celebrate Their Story: Affirm ways that friends or family members have given support. Celebrate their “super-hero-ness.” Talk to your friend or family member about times when you’ve seen them help another person or come alongside to pitch in on the practical needs of life. • “You have been a total Super Hero when…” Or “I’ve seen you save the day when you gave support to _____ by_______.” Part 3: Celebrating Our Need for Affection • Affection is: Expressing care and closeness through appropriate physical touch or sharing words like: “I love you,” “I care about you,” or “I really like being your friend.” Watch the video to see the power of affection in friendship! • Celebrate your family member or friend by giving a surprise demonstration of affection. Give a hug, or share the words above.
© Relational Values Alliance 7 Session 3 Giving Celebration Growing in Your Celebrations with Others Celebrations are times when we pause to cherish and reaffirm values, traditions, accomplishments, memories, and relationships. When a child feels celebrated, she feels loved and special. When a husband or wife feels celebrated, they feel prioritized and important. When a friend or other church family member feels celebrated, he feels honored, secure, and important. Setting aside time to acknowledge, affirm, and commend one another in a family or with friends builds individual self-esteem and unity within those relationships. Simply stated: Celebration creates positive experiences and moments of joy. It’s no wonder God tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice! Remember: When family members and friends know you will celebrate with them, they will seek opportunities to share their good times with you. Be ready to acknowledge, affirm, commend, and rejoice—even in the little things. Be sure to practice your skills of giving celebrations!
8 © Relational Values Alliance Part 1: Celebrating Our Need for Attention • Attention is: Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care: entering a person’s “world.” WATCH THIS VIDEO to see the value of giving attention, then replicate it! • You may not have a ball pit, but you CAN find a seat and make a friend. Ask a new friend or an old friend the questions below. Share your story and then enter their world by celebrating their story: 1. Name three things on your bucket list. 2. Talk about a Bible character or a person in your life who inspires you. 3. Find something unique that you have in common. 4. Talk about an experience that changed your life. • Celebrate the growth you see in yourself and the other person by saying, “I’m so happy we got the privilege to know each other a bit more today!” Part 2: Celebrating Our Need for Security • Security is: Harmony in relationships and freedom from fear or worry about the threat of harm or abandonment. WATCH THIS VIDEO and celebrate the power that comes from feeling safe and secure. • Celebrate their Story: Talk to a friend or family member about times when you’ve both felt most safe and secure in relationships. What confidence did that bring for each of you? Part 3: Celebrating Our Need for Approval • Approval is: Building up and affirming worth in another person: noticing someone’s character and commending them for it. • Celebrate Your Story: Celebrate your personal growth with a family member or friend. “I’m becoming a more approving person! I see the good in others more often, and this has been great because...” • Celebrate Their Story: Continue celebrating by WATCHING THIS VIDEO with a friend or family member. • Tell the other person why THEY are capable of amazing things because they are “special.” Talk about how you would like to work together to change everything around you!
© Relational Values Alliance 9 Live It Out Session 4 A person who celebrates well initiates celebrations in all relationships. Be intentional this week to celebrate in each of these areas. • Celebrate with Friends: ° Who has a birthday, anniversary, vacation, or family event coming up? Ask about this event and celebrate that it’s coming soon. If appropriate, do something to acknowledge it. Buy a balloon, write a text, give a card, or bake a treat. ° Which of your friends has achieved a goal or accomplished a task recently? Try sending a text or calling them to celebrate their progress and success! • Celebrate with Family: ° Look for ways that your family members are showing effort and/or accomplishing some aspect of personal growth in the top ten relational needs. ° Imagine giving your family members an award for one of the ways they’ve grown. Complete the following sentences for each person. ° “My award goes to ______ for being the most _____________.” (“My award goes to Tyler for the most comforting and compassionate person in our family!” Or “My award goes to Mom for being the most supportive person in the universe!”) ° End these conversations by praying together. Thank God for the privilege of relationships and the blessing of learning to celebrate with one another. Remember: Celebrating with others is contagious because it communicates value, joy, and care for others! Part 1: Live It at Home or with Close Friends
10 © Relational Values Alliance Part 2: Live It at Church Celebrate with Co-laborers, Small Groups, or Pastors: WATCH the VIDEOS BELOW. Let them inspire your own celebrations inside your church. You can also keep it simple: Send a handwritten note to a ministry partner, co-laborer, small group member, or pastor, celebrating them as people you care about. They’ll likely keep it forever! Start your note with words like: “I’m happy to have someone like you as a part of my life because…” Part 3: Live It in Your Community Celebrate with People in Your Community Think about the other people who serve in your community. Who are the unsung heroes who serve consistently and faithfully? Who are the volunteers, crossing guards, booster club sponsors, and fans who support the work of your community? Find out their story and plan a celebration. WATCH THIS VIDEO for inspiration! Remember: Celebration means taking the time to listen to another person’s story, discovering the positive moments in their story, and then sharing positive emotions in return! • You can also keep it simple and powerful. Sharing simple words of celebration can be just as meaningful. • “I’m celebrating you and the way you serve our community. I’m especially grateful when I see how you...”
© Relational Values Alliance 11 Appendix
12 © Relational Values Alliance Part 1: With caring connections, good things happen. We all have unique relationship needs—the distinct ways that we feel cared for and loved in relationships. In this session, you learned more about giving and receiving CELEBRATIONS to help create caring connections. Caring, connections at home help: • Enrich your home as a place of refuge and fun. • Reduce misunderstandings and conflicts. • Impart critical relational skills and values to children and future generations. • Deepen marriage intimacy and relational closeness. • Strengthen parents’ relationship with children. • Parents instill values, faith, and life purpose. • Reduce isolation and aloneness. • Prepare children and teens for adulthood and a positive, productive future. Part 2: Without caring connections, bad things happen. Without caring connections and if relational needs are missed, bad things happen. When we are feeling alone, disconnected, or isolated at home, we might: • Have difficulty with family cohesion, unity, and vision. • Struggle to address the inevitable conflicts of family life. • Struggle to negotiate the life stages of marriage and family. • Have more physical symptoms and health concerns. • Lose sleep or become depressed. • Become irritable, critical, uncooperative, or impatient. • Be more fearful, anxious, and have a tough time trusting other people. • Be more prone to abuse alcohol, drugs, or porn. • Escape into video streaming, gaming, shopping, work, or hobbies. • Feel depressed, withdrawn, or resentful.
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