A six-session course designed to provide practical tools to cultivate hope, peace, and well-being. Hope is a choice. We can increase it. This course shows you how! LIVING IN TURBULENT TIMES PARTICIPANT’S MANUAL HOPE-FILLED Session 1: Me Managing Me!
Visit Relational Values Alliance online at www.relationalvalues.com. Hope-filled Living in Turbulent Times Copyright © 2021 by Relational Values Alliance. All rights reserved. Cover photograph of lighthouse by Chris Meads @cjmeadsused used by permission via www.unsplash.com . All rights reserved. Cover designed by Jon Morris Edited by Terri Snead Printed in the United States of America
Table of Contents SESSION 1 Me Managing Me! Beginning with My Hope-filled Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 SESSION 2 Relate Don’t React . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 SESSION 3 Cultivating Gratitude Reduces Stress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 SESSION 4 Don’t Ride the Roller Coaster of Life Alone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 SESSION 5 Caring Connections Brings the Hope of Improved Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 SESSION 6 Practicing Kindness Reduces Stress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
©Relational Values Alliance Hope-filled Living relationalvalues.com - 1 - Me Managing Me (D) Session 1 Me Managing Me! Beginning with My Hope-filled Thinking In this time of COVID–19 crisis, social unrest, and online schooling, the battles between extreme pessimism and positive optimism and between fear and hope, become even more significant as we go about our daily lives, constrained from living “normal.” Researchers would tell us that optimistic thinking, or what we will call hope-filled thinking, is a key to our personal well-being. Psychologists use the term “negativity bias” in our thinking to describe our predisposition “for fight or flight.” In a good way, we seem wired to survive by thinking through worst case scenarios to remain safe. For example: if a car starts swerving onto your side of the road, you instinctively steer one way or the other to get out of the way and avoid a wreck. The challenge comes when we begin to see possible wrecks and panic with every car we pass. Our “negativity bias” becomes out of control and extreme pessimism, anxiety, and fear can overtake us. Here is an important principle and several practical tips for practicing more hope-filled thinking: Control what you can control and don’t waste brain power and conversations around what you can’t control! (The clinical terminology is “Locus of Control.”)
©Relational Values Alliance Hope-filled Living relationalvalues.com - 2 - Me Managing Me (D) A few practical tips for practicing this principle include: y FIRST: Follow the guidance of health professionals and local authorities. Ignoring these guidelines puts you additionally at risk, and as others observe your unsafe actions, it can provoke additional fear in them. Practicing social distancing, covering coughs, staying home when you are sick, and following other guidelines in this crisis are ways we can put people first. y SECOND: Limit the amount of COVID-19 news, other divisive commentary, and statistics you consume each day; tracking stats on numbers of virus cases, stock market prices, and what stores are sold out of what items can almost become addictive. Negative thinking around these topics only increases anxiety and fear. y THIRD: Limit your amount of talking about all the statistics and news. You can learn from what has already happened, but you can’t control or change it! Plus, reminding your friends or co-workers how bad things are doesn’t really help you or them! For sure, you need to be realistic and prudent in your planning because your future is something you can impact. y FINALLY, we can increase our positive, hope-filled thinking through such things as: ū Planning activities to look forward to then thinking and talking about those things. ū Schedule a time to put together a puzzle with your kids, play dominoes with your spouse, and have scheduled weekly “check-in” times with family and friends over Zoom,® Skype,® or FaceTime.® ū Laugh and have fun. You only have so much “thinking capacity,” and when you focus it positively on future plans, you reduce anxiety over aspects of the future you can’t control. Researchers tell us that more positive thinking and talk decreases anxiety and increases our ability to focus on what really matters—actually “being present” in our relationships at home as well as with friends, family, co-workers, and customers. Hope-filled thinking increases personal well-being or happiness as it is often called. Plus, this type of thinking improves our immune system, increases life-expectancy, and enriches our relationships! It’s a big deal! Parent Check-In Relational Values Alliance
©Relational Values Alliance Hope-filled Living relationalvalues.com - 3 - Me Managing Me (D) Below are some resources that can be helpful tools in the journey toward hope-filled living. Click the links or images to explore each resource. 1. MasterClass Learn from 85+ of the world's best minds. Masterclass.com 4. Dry Bar Comedy Live or recorded comedy specials for all audiences. www.drybarcomedy.com View these full comedian specials as a starting place. Click an image to view. 3. Klean Komedy TV Another great comedy resource with clean content. www.facebook.com/kleankomedytv/ 2. Free MasterClass Videos on Youtube. Here's a free master class video from one of the world's best dog trainers. https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=y5i1oX-dbFk Practical Resources for Hope-filled Living
©Relational Values Alliance Hope-filled Living relationalvalues.com - 4 - Me Managing Me (D) In a stress-filled world, many things are simply beyond our control—like the weather, how others behave, and even whether or not pandemics happen! Background: Mental stress activates your sympathetic nervous system, signaling your body to go into “fight-orflight” mode. During this reaction, stress hormones are released and you experience physical symptoms, such as a faster heartbeat, quicker breathing, and constricted blood vessels. Deep breathing exercises can help activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which controls the relaxation response. There are several types of deep breathing exercises, and in this article we focus on a popular technique called Box Breathing. The goal of deep breathing is to focus your awareness on your breath, making it slower and deeper. When you breathe in deeply through your nose, your lungs fully expand and your stomach rises. This helps slow your heart rate, allowing you to feel additionally peaceful. Box Breathing: Reduces stress and focuses your thoughts away from anxieties and fear. This article is written by Eric Ferguson, of theContinuumMethod.com The goal of deep breathing is to focus your awareness on your breath, making it slower and deeper.
©Relational Values Alliance Hope-filled Living relationalvalues.com - 5 - Me Managing Me (D) Box Breathing, also known as four-square breathing, involves exhaling to a count of four, holding your lungs empty for a count of four, inhaling at the same pace, and holding air in your lungs for a count of four before exhaling and beginning the pattern anew. In very high stress times, you might practice Box Breathing for 5-minutes each hour. Additionally, as your practice of Box Breathing becomes common, you can extend the pattern to 5 seconds, then 6 seconds, etc. It’s this type training that Navy Seals utilize as part of their underwater training. REMEMBER: Lower the stress, lower the inflammation, and see positive improvements in your overall wellness! That’s THE CONTINUUM METHOD. Click here to watch the Box Breathing video. Click here and explore the continuum method at https://thecontinuummethod.com Scan the QR Code for testimonials about The Continuum Method