You… Living a Life on PurposeFundamentals in Knowing and Engaging OthersFour Session Growth Guide
Copyright © 2026 by Relational Values Alliance. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, includingphotocopy, recording, or information storage and retrieval system, except for brief quotations in reviews, without written permission of the publisher. For more information address Relational Values Alliance, 2511 South Lakeline Blvd., Cedar Park, TX 78613.Helping You T.H.R.I.V.E.Human “flourishing” or well-being has been the focus of many disciplines over the centuries and very generally might be described as: “a state in which all aspects of a person’s life are good.” The term “all aspects of life” has various champions across many disciplines that tend to organize around important “life” domains. The Harvard Human Flourishing Program has developed such a six-part framework upon which this series is based. See the Appendix for additional information on each domain and an opportunity to take the T.H.R.I.V.E. assessment.
© Relational Values Alliance 1RelationalValues.comWhy is Clarity and Intentionality About One’s Vocation Important?Research from many fronts, including the Harvard Human Flourishing program, indicates that a sense of purpose is strongly linked to overall well-being, including mental and physical health, resilience, and even longevity. The term, “one’s vocation” is often used to highlight a person’s sense of purpose or “calling.”Key findings and insights from Harvard research on meaning and purpose include:• Finding and cultivating purpose can be a lifelongjourney, and it’s not necessarily tied to one specificcareer or goal.• One’s purpose contributes positively to mental health. Studies show that young adults with a strongsense of purpose experience significantly lower rates of anxiety and depression compared to those who don’t.• Purpose is often “beyond” one’s work - While work can be a source of purpose for some, it’s not the only or necessarily the most important one. Serving others,pursuing future goals, and engaging in meaningful activities also contribute to a sense of purpose.Why• Purpose impacts health positively - Harvardresearchers found that individuals with a higher senseof purpose in life tend to have better physical health.• Purpose can evolve: A sense of purpose is not staticand can evolve and grow throughout life, particularlyduring periods of transition or change.• The role of relationships - Meaning and purpose canbe found in close relationships and connections withloved ones, serving as a primary source of fulfillment.In essence, Harvard research highlights the profound impact a sense of purpose has on various aspects of life, from mental and physical well-being to resilience and longevity. It encourages individuals to actively seek and cultivate purpose through self-reflection, meaningful relationships, and engagement in activities that align with their values and goals.Harvard research emphasizes that discovering one’s life purpose involves a combination of self-reflection, engagement with the world, and cultivating meaningful relationships. It’s not a single, definitive answer but rather an ongoing process of exploration, connection, and contribution.
2 © Relational Values AllianceRelationalValues.comHowHow to Use This Resource.This resource is intended to develop your personal leadership skills and IDENTITY as a “People-First” Leader.There are four sessions, each taking approximately 45–60 minutes to complete. This resource can be used in several different ways:• Small-group gatherings• Team meeting discussions• “Lunch-and-learn” conversations, or• Mentoring new members into your culture.The best results will come from spending time in personal reflection as you engage in discussions with others about the principles. Reminder:“It’s hard to grow yourself…by yourself!”Next would come the intentional inclusion of various “people-first” practices into your personal life, team or organization.During each session, we will provide opportunities for your growth as a people-first leader, enabling you to become someone others want to follow at home, school, work, or in your community.Creating Your Purpose:• Purpose isn’t always found; it’s created: Actively build your sense of purpose through your choices and actions. • Be open to new possibilities: Your purpose may evolve over time. • Don’t be afraid to make mistakes: Learn from setbacks and keep moving forward. In essence, finding your life purpose involves a dynamic interplay between self- discovery, engagement with the world, and building strong, positive relationships. Harvard research emphasizes the importance of creating a life that is both personally meaningful and beneficial to others.What are Key Factors in Discerning One’s Purpose?“Vocation” comes from the Latin word “vocare,” which means “to call.” Rather than simply what you do for a living, it has to do with your purpose in life—where you find life meaning and what you feel “called” to do. You may or may not earn a living while pursuing your vocation. Your career, however, can be an excellent vehicle for living out a vocation you are passionate about.Key elements from Harvard research include:Self-Reflection and Discovery:• Identify your strengths and passions: Explore what naturally interests you and where your skills lie.• Reflect on past experiences: Consider what has brought you joy, meaning, and a sense of accomplishment.• Consider obstacles you’ve overcome: Your struggles can be a source of wisdom and empathy for others.• Visualize your best possible self: Imagine what a fulfilling life looks like for you.• Consider your legacy: What impact do you want to have on the world?Engagement with the World:• Seek out new experiences: Don’t be afraid to try new things and step outside your comfort zone.• Engage in socially useful activities: Find ways to contribute, whether through volunteering, mentorship, or other forms of service. • Connect your interests to the world: Look for ways your passions can benefit others. Cultivating Meaningful Relationships:• Focus on building strong connections: The quality of your relationships is a major predictor of happiness and well-being, according to a Harvard study. • Nurture existing relationships: Spend time with loved ones and deepen your bonds. • Seek out positive and supportive people: Surround yourself with those who uplift and inspire you. What
© Relational Values Alliance 3RelationalValues.comContentsGTKY: Connected and Less Alone. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4Give Great to Motivate . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6Strengthening Relationships Through Conversations.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8Encouragement: Cheering the Team. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10Appendix: You as a Person Who Thrives. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12YOUR Journey in BECOMING!Importantly, in a People-first culture, there are leaders whose IDENTITY is characterized as “thriving”. This transformation journey in wellness and flourishing can be characterized by the four stages noted below:• For example, you may be simply EXPLORING the importance of Giving-First to others, or• You may have EMBRACED the importance of this practice and are seeking practical ways to live it out.• You may be seeking to develop a daily practice of EXPERIENCING the disciplines of Giving-First…but hopefully, most important to you is…• YOU EXPRESSING the example of Giving-Firstas Your IDENTITY! It’s “who you are.“
4 © Relational Values AllianceRelationalValues.com1 © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thriveGetting to Know You: Connected and Less ALONEOur world is experiencing a “loneliness epidemic” and this painful truth demands we take strategic, intentional actions to build stronger relationships (Office of the Assistant Secretary for Health, 2023).ALONENESS (or feeling lonely) can be described as feeling unsure if anyone truly knows or cares about you.One intentional step we can take to address loneliness is to focus on genuinely and progressively getting to know those we relate to and work with.Scan or click the QR code to watch this video. It illustrates how we are each hard-wired to connect with other humans.Pause and Reflect:After you watch this interaction between teens and the senior adults, complete these statements:1. These people seem to have experienced feeling less ALONE because they connected in simple ways like:• •2. How did feeling less alone affect them?3. “When I am feeling ALONE, I tend to .” (do what?)4. In contrast, when someone takes the time to get to know me, I feel less alone. I feel grateful for these times because .”The Workplace Imperatives for a Relational CultureA strong case can be made for the increased priority of reducing “aloneness” even at work. There are many challenges in the workplace, but in a Gallup global survey, respondents were asked, “If you could make one change at your current employer to make it a great place to work, what would it be?”—The #1 answer (41%) said, “A change of culture!” (Gallup, Inc., 2023). Employees care about relationships at work!Turning Crisis into OpportunitiesA recent report on the “Loneliness Epidemic“ encourages us to create intentional strategies to learn about the personal lives of people around us. The reason why? We increase the likelihood that authentic social connections will develop when we feel truly known and cared for—as real people—individuals with passions outside of work, concerned citizens, and community members (Murthy, 2017).The GETTING to KNOW YOU worksheet and exercise (included) is intended to deepen how well we knowother people and help us plan how to “give first“ to others based on what we know. Set aside time with a friend, family member, or colleague to have these conversations: Pause and Reflect:Choose one of the five questions below to SHARE with a colleague, friend, or family member and then ask them to share in return:1. My family includes ; what about your family?2. One of my favorite sports teams is ; what is your favorite team?3. One of the places I would like to travel is ; where would you like to travel? 4. One of my favorite restaurants is ; what is one of yours?5. Something you might not know about me is ; how about you?Based upon this information, plan an intentional action where you give first to this person. You could: • Share an article or video about their favorite sports team or place they would like to travel. • Share a gift card to their favorite restaurant on an upcoming birthday or other celebration. Complete the Getting to Know You worksheet for yourself, give it to someone you would like to know better, and schedule a time to discuss responses.Vocational Fulfillment, Adequacy, and PurposeT.H.R.I.V.E. Solutions
© Relational Values Alliance 5RelationalValues.com © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thrive 2 ©David L. Ferguson Used by Permission Getting to Know You Date Updated:Top 3 Relational Needs:First Name (Preferred) Last Name Birthday (month/day)Significant Other/Spouse Anniversary (month/day/year) Birthday (month/day)Children, Close Family, and Best Friend/s Name/Age Relationship Name/Age RelationshipName/Age Relationship Name/Age RelationshipName/Age Relationship Name/Age RelationshipName/Age Relationship Close Friend Close Friend Pets: Name/Type? Favorites Cold Drink Hot Drink SnackFood Dessert Restaurant Music Group/Artist Sport Team/s HobbiesSignificant Life Reflections Share below additional life reflections about you:Life Celebrations (Past)Life Celebrations (Present) Life Dreams (Future)If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?If you could have dinner with anyone, who would it be? (Living or deceased)Something interesting about you which others might not knowCell Phone: Store/Company Current City, StateOther significant datesWorkaversary (month/day/year) Scan or click the QR code for a breakdown from our team on the power of Getting to Know You.Scan or click the QR code to download this form electronically
6 © Relational Values AllianceRelationalValues.com1 © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thriveGive Great to MotivateWHAT IS MOTIVATION AND HOW DOES IT AFFECT ME?Motivation is the driving force behind human action. It is the inner desire or drive that pushes us to set and achieve goals. Intrinsic motivation is the type of motivation that comes from inside a person. We are intrinsically motivated when we are driven by our personal passions, interests, and aspirations. When we are intrinsically motivated, we find joy and fulfillment in the pursuit of a goal rather than just the end result.Pause and Reflect:Think about a goal you regularly accomplish because of your personal, internal desire or passion. The goal can be big or small.I’m personally motivated to because .(For example: make my bed every morning because I love a tidy bedroom, or work out four times a week because I’m passionate about my physical health) On the other hand, extrinsic motivation is a different type of motivation. This type of motivation is at work when we are driven by external rewards (praise, recognition, money, etc.) or pressures like expectations or consequences. While intrinsic motivation is often seen as more sustainable and fulfilling, extrinsic motivation can provide the initial push and support needed to initially pursue a goal.Extrinsic motivation can be effective in influencing behavior, but may not always lead to long-term change or genuine transformation.Pause and Reflect:Motivation and strength for long-term change can come as we relate to people. Watch the video below and then have a conversation. How might this relationship fuel the son’s motivation?Click or scan QR code to see Rocky’s motivation speech to his son.When we benefit from the reward of mutually giving relationships we fuel personal growth, boost motivation, and achieve more success. Relational connection catalyzes transformation. Motivation soars when we relate.Pause and Reflect:Share your response with a person or team you trust. This connection between relational connection and motivation was true for me. Being around people helped me get/stay motivated in one of my personal goals recently when .Motivation MattersMotivation can lead to increased productivity, boosted confidence, improved well-being, and enhanced relationships. Understanding YOUR and others’ motivators can help you and your relationships! Try the exercise on the next page to get started!Vocational Fulfillment, Adequacy, and PurposeT.H.R.I.V.E. Solutions
© Relational Values Alliance 7RelationalValues.com© Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thrive 2Pick two motivation keys listed here that are most important to you. Talk about them with a close family member, friend, or member of your team. Ask about their motivation keys as well.As you share your preferences, take notes of each person’s response, then during the next few weeks, intentionally focus on Giving First (without expectation of return) according to these unique motivators. Concentrate on giving, but be open to receiving from other people.Here is how we’re motivated … Pause and Reflect: Based on this information, here is how I plan to give: GIVE GREAT TO MOTIVATETen Key Ideas for Giving to People Around YouI am positively motivated when someone important in my life…1. Provides personal thanks—one-on-one, in writing, or both. It works best when this thanks is timely, often, and sincere.2. Makes time for me—meets with me, and listens to me as I need for you to know and understand me.3. Provides me specific feedback. This can be about my performance, my team, or my personal life. Catch me doing something right and tell me. If you really care, be honest with me when I miss the mark.4. Creates an open environment for my contributions—helps create an environment that is open, trusting, and fun; encourages my new ideas, initiative, and creativity.5. Provides me with information—informs me how we are doing, why new rules, strategies, or plans are necessary, and how changes fit into the overall plan.6. Involves me and includes me—makes me feel a part of the decision-making process, especially on those decisions that directly affect me.7. Rewards high performance—gives acknowledgment and opportunity based upon my performance; challenges me to the next level.8. Gives me a sense of ownership—provides me with a sense of ownership in my work/activities and my environment; creates opportunities for others to follow my example, initiative, or learn from my leadership.9. Gives me opportunities to grow and learn—gives me a chance to try out and learn new things and helps me succeed within the context of the overall objective. Creates a partnership with me where my goals become your goals!10.Celebrates my successes—makes a big deal about the accomplishments that relate to my area, my interests, my team, and to the individuals in it. Takes time to celebrate with me, my team, and prioritize morale-building meetings and activities.
8 © Relational Values AllianceRelationalValues.com1 © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thriveStrengthening Relationships Through ConversationStrengthening our relationships begins by genuinely and progressively getting to know the people we relate to and serve with. A caring, People-First Culture allows each person to bring their “story” to the relationship or group. This provides the foundation for removing aloneness and improves well-being, communication, engagement, motivation, and collaboration.Pause to watch the video by scanning or clicking the QR code.Let this video be a reminder that everyone around you has a unique story. You may not have a ball pit, but you can be a part of making good things happen by taking the initiative to know more about the people in your life. Having great conversations helps build and strengthen relationships!Pause and ReflectHow might you benefit at home, school, or work if the people in your life genuinely knew you and took the time to hear parts of your story? What would be great about this for you?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________If the important people in your life took the initiative to know you AND demonstrated care so that you felt less alone, how might that be important to you?__________________________________________________________________________Learning to initiate conversations that go deeper than “How are you?” and “I’m fine” is one of the first steps to addressing isolation and building strong relationships at home, work, school, or in our community. Taking the time to hear others’ stories deepens connections among team members. Here are some practical steps of action:1. As you share a little of your life’s story, take turns asking about and then listening to others’ stories. Take the initiative to start these relationship-strengthening conversations. “What’s your story? Tell me a little about yourself.”2. On the next page are a few additional questions to help you get started. Take turns answering one of the questions and asking one of them. You can download the Strengthening Relationships worksheet by scanning or clicking the QR code.3. Take initiative to ask questions like these in new and existing relationships. Just like the video, ask about things you don’t yet know about this person, listen for things you have in common, and then look for ways to demonstrate care based on what you know.Vocational Fulfillment, Adequacy, and PurposeT.H.R.I.V.E. Solutions
© Relational Values Alliance 9RelationalValues.com© Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thrive 28. “Can you tell me a little bit aboutyour family?”9. “Tell me about your children or pets.”10.“What’s one of the best memories you had growing up?”11.“Who has had a meaningful impact on your life? How are you grateful?” 12.“What achievement are you most proud of and why?”13.“What are some challenges you’re facing outside of work?”14.“What’s one of the challenges you’ve overcome in your life?”15.“What compliment could someone give you to brighten your day?”16.“Name a time in your life that took a dramatic turn?”Click or scan the QR code to download this worksheet and begin your conversations.Pause and Reflect:With a family member, friend, colleague, or team take turns asking one another these strengthening relationships questions. Scan or click the QR code to watch this video segment on the importance of getting to know others.Strengthening Relationships“I’d like to get to know you better. If it’s okay, I want to ask you this question:”1. “Where’s your favorite restaurant?”2. “What do you like to watch on TV the most?”3. “What’s your favorite type of music, artist, songs?” 4. “What do you enjoy doing most in your spare time?” 5. “How would you describe your perfect day?” 6. “Who do you like to spend your vacations with the most?”7. “What’s one area of personal growth that you’re working on?”
10 © Relational Values AllianceRelationalValues.com1 © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thriveEncouragement:Cheering on the TeamA culture that’s filled with encouragement fosters a sense of teamwork due to its high degree of trust and collaboration. When people feel encouraged, they are more likely to stay motivated, push through challenges, and go the extra mile. When a team receives encouragement, they often perform better because they have the confidence to take initiative and strive for excellence. They believe in their abilities because others communicate their belief in them!What IS Encouragement?Encouragement is: Taking the time to urge someone towards a goal, helping them become more determined, hopeful, or confident. Encouragement means helping someone persevere.Let’s look at two of the primary moments when people need encouragement.We Need Encouragement When We Want to Succeed at a Goal or DreamEncouragement reinforces our belief in our abilities, reduces fear of failure, and serves as emotional fuel to keep going. It also provides a sense of responsibility to follow through—not just for ourselves but for those cheering us on.Pause to watch the video by scanning or clicking the QR code, then celebrate some of your successes!Pause and ReflectTalk to a family member, friend, or co-worker about the questions below.• What’s one of your last successes or something you’re most proud of?• If you had to write the first line of my autobiography, what would it be?We Need Encouragement When We’re Weary or StrugglingThe challenges of life or work can drain our energy. Encouraging words recharge us and give us more hope. When others share words of encouragement, we feel less alone in our struggle.Pause to watch the video by scanning or clicking the QR code. Watch how encouragement helps this man keep going!Pause and ReflectRemember the people who have encouraged you in one of your goals, dreams, or accomplishments. When has someone shown they believed in you, urged you on, or helped you keep going when you were weary or struggling? Why are you grateful for this person?I am so grateful for . He/she encouraged me by .It meant so much to me because .Text, call, or email this person and share your gratitude with them personally.Vocational Fulfillment, Adequacy, and PurposeT.H.R.I.V.E. Solutions
© Relational Values Alliance 11RelationalValues.com © Relational Values Alliancerelationalvalues.com/thrive 2Next, think about the future challenges ahead for your team. What goals or dreams do you hope to accomplish?Two or three of the following goals we hope to accomplish together as a team are:1. 2. 3. Practice Giving Words of Encouragement to Each Person on Your TeamThink about the individual strengths and efforts of your team members and how each person’s role matters to achieving your goals ahead. Prepare your thoughts and then share words like the following for each member of your team.• I believe we can accomplish this because of what we each of us brings to the team. I believe in you and your…• You amaze me/us with your . I can’t wait to see how…• You are so capable. I’m confident that with your abilities, we’re going to be able to . . .• Look at everything we’ve already accomplished because of your . So, I know we can…• I am confident of our team’s success because you are a part of it! I’m one of your biggest fans because… Watch how this team meeting ends with more smiles, statements of gratitude, and hope for the future!Successful Teams Thrive with EncouragementWhen teams feel encouraged and uplifted, they’re more likely to work together to accomplish goals and help one another succeed. In challenging and stressful times, encouragement helps teams stay positive, adapt more easily, and bounce back from setbacks together. Encouragement turns a group of individuals into a high-performing, unified team.Pause and ReflectPause and scan or click the QR code to watch this video.Sports movies are famous for inspirational speeches that remind us of the great things that can be accomplished when we encourage one another. After the video, have this conversation with a family member, friend, or co-worker.Think about the things you have already accomplished WITH your current team. Celebrate those moments with your team.Remember the projects, accomplishments, goals, or challenges you’ve navigated together. Share these responses:One of my best memories of what we’ve accomplished together is I was so proud of our team because
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© Relational Values Alliance 13RelationalValues.comTransformation in T Character and VirtueHealth: Physical, H Mental, and EmotionalRelational Closeness R in Caring ConnectionsIdentifying as Happy, Hopeful, and Satisfied with LifeIVocational Fulfillment, Adequacy, and VPurposeEnjoy Financial E Stability and FreedomPeople Who T.H.R.I.V.E. Give Attention to Their Continued GrowthScan the QR code to take the 12-question T.H.R.I.V.E. Assessment. Acknowledgment and PermissionsSpecial Acknowledgment and Gratitude to the Harvard Human Flourishing Program: The Program’s flourishing index measure is copyrighted under a Creative Commons License (CCBY-NC 4.0). However, it can be used without permission for noncommercial purposes if proper citation is given. The reference for the paper in which the measure was presented is:VanderWeele, T.J. (2017). On the promotion of human flourishing. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, U.S.A., 31:8148-8156.Scan QR code to watch Harvard's video about their Human Flourishing Program.You as a Person Who T.H.R.I.V.E.s @Home, @School,@Work, in Faith, and in Community!Human flourishing or well-being can be described as “the place in which all aspects of a person’s life are good.” There are different perspectives about what is meant by “all aspects of life.” Still, researchers agree on the priority of assessing life holistically. To assess well-being, we must consider EACH of the important domains of life and how well we are flourishing in them.The Human Flourishing Program at Harvard has developed a tool to assess human flourishing based on five central domains: (1) character and virtue, (2) physical and mental health, (3) close social relationships, (4) happiness and life satisfaction, (5) meaning and purpose, and the sixth (6) domain relates to the stability of our finances or access to practical and financial resources that allow us to flourish and sustain well-being (VanderWeele, 2017).To thrive means “to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way; to flourish; to live a satisfying, meaningful life.” We can label the six domains of human flourishing with the T.H.R.I.V.E. acronym.