A six-session course designed to provide practical tools to cultivate hope, peace, and well-being. Hope is a choice. We can increase it. This course shows you how! LIVING IN TURBULENT TIMES PARTICIPANT’S MANUAL HOPE-FILLED Session 3: Cultivating Gratitude Reduces Stress
Visit Relational Values Alliance online at www.relationalvalues.com. Hope-filled Living in Turbulent Times Copyright © 2021 by Relational Values Alliance. All rights reserved. Cover photograph of lighthouse by Chris Meads @cjmeadsused used by permission via www.unsplash.com . All rights reserved. Cover designed by Jon Morris Edited by Terri Snead Printed in the United States of America
Table of Contents SESSION 1 Me Managing Me! Beginning with My Hope-filled Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 SESSION 2 Relate Don’t React . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 SESSION 3 Cultivating Gratitude Reduces Stress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 SESSION 4 Don’t Ride the Roller Coaster of Life Alone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 SESSION 5 Caring Connections Brings the Hope of Improved Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 SESSION 6 Practicing Kindness Reduces Stress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
©Relational Values Alliance Hope-filled Living relationalvalues.com - 13 - Cultivating Gratitude Reduces Stress (D) Has it been a while since you’ve looked at your old photo albums, high school yearbook, or even scrolled all the way back to the beginning of the photos on your phone? Are those pictures of your college road trip or favorite fishing expedition collecting dust? During this season, invite your family or friends to get together and take a trip down memory lane. Ask everyone to bring their photo albums, scrapbooks, selfies, and yearbooks to your family gathering. After a meal, reminisce together about some of your favorite memories. Make this an occasion to reconnect around the times you have shared together and cherish the memories you’ve made. Make it a celebration of your relationships! As you look at your photos, reflect on why you’re grateful and then share these responses with family and friends: y I am particularly grateful for that memory because… y That day was special to me because… y I smile every time I see that picture because… Session 3 Cultivating Gratitude Reduces Stress
©Relational Values Alliance Hope-filled Living relationalvalues.com - 14 - Cultivating Gratitude Reduces Stress (D) As each person shares his positive feelings, respond with emotion in return! That might sound like: y I’m so happy you had that day because… y I feel a lot of gratitude as well. We were really blessed by… y It makes me smile, too, when I remember how you… y Wasn’t that incredible?! I still feel excited when I think about… y I’m glad you and I could experience that together. As you come across pictures or memories that are associated with painful memories, be sure to acknowledge and respond to those too. You might come across the picture of a loved one who has since passed away or a family photo from a previous marriage. Don’t ignore the memory or the feeling. Instead, encourage one another to talk about the emotions that are prompted. y I am kind of sad when I look at this picture because… y That day was hard for me because… y My heart hurts every time I see that picture because… y As family members share their painful feelings, respond with compassion. That might sound like: y “I feel sad with you. I know that time was so tough.” y “My heart hurts for you. I know that picture reminds you of a lot of difficult emotions.” y “I am so sorry that you went through that. I know that was a sad time for you.” As you share both positive and painful memories, and then respond to one another with celebration or compassion, you will be strengthening relationships that mean the most. There will be more smiles (and perhaps more tears) and a deeper connection with some of your greatest gifts. That’s a lot to be thankful for! Relationships are strengthened when we remember who and what we are thankful for and then verbalize that gratitude with one another. Let a trip down memory lane pave the way for a special time of gratitude!
©Relational Values Alliance Hope-filled Living relationalvalues.com - 15 - Cultivating Gratitude Reduces Stress (D) Celebrate the Differences in Your Marriage Here’s an idea to strengthen the relationship with your spouse: Spend a few special moments celebrating the uniqueness that each of you brings to the relationship. Celebrate your differences in three easy steps: 1. Think back to your dating experiences or the early years of your relationship. What was one of the first differences that you noticed between you and your partner? Did you discover that one of you was more punctual, more concerned about keeping things neat and orderly, more talkative, or more introverted than the other? Make this a fun conversation, where you celebrate the early discoveries of your relationship. Remember when we discovered that we were different in… 2. Now, talk on a little deeper level but still with celebration as your goal. Celebrate how each of you have in some way been prompted to accept your partner and love them “anyway.” Celebrate how amazing it can be when partners give acceptance. Your celebrations might start out like this: We both know that I am different from you and yet you choose to love me. I am grateful that you love me “anyway” because… 3. In love that lasts, couples give one another the freedom to be themselves without pressure to change or fear of rejection. So take the next few moments to share these words with your partner: I want you to be real with me because… I want to reassure you that you can be yourself because… CONGRATULATIONS! You have just met an important relational need for your partner. It’s the need for acceptance! Click HERE to download the Great Relationships Growth Plans!
©Relational Values Alliance Hope-filled Living relationalvalues.com - 16 - Cultivating Gratitude Reduces Stress (D) Gratitude Journal It may seem hard to be grateful when there’s plenty of reasons not to be, but cultivating gratitude guards our hearts from entitlement, self-focus, and half-empty thinking. Gratitude improves our mood, our experience of hope, and our general well-being. Great things come our way when we’re grateful! Reflect on some of the specific reasons you have to be grateful. Who are the people that mean the most to you and why? What are the places or experiences that bring the most gratitude? What is one specific memory that brings you joy and prompts your thanks? Make a list of at least 10 specific things you’re grateful for here: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
©Relational Values Alliance Hope-filled Living relationalvalues.com - 17 - Cultivating Gratitude Reduces Stress (D) Thanks/Wish List Begin by listing six to ten areas of genuine thankfulness you have about one particular relationship in your life. Be specific. Look particularly for things you maybe take for granted. (For example: “I’m grateful for your hard work as a provider for our family.” or, “I’m thankful that you are helping Mom with her retirement plans.” or, “I’m grateful that you think of me and bring me my favorite coffee.”) Thanks List 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Now, list 1-2 wishes you’d like to see concerning improvements and changes in this relationship. Remember to communicate in a loving manner. Be specific. (For example: “I’m hoping you can be more comfortable initiating calling or checking in on me.” “I’d like to spend some Saturday just being together and sharing a meal.” “I’d love it if we could go and visit Dad sometime together.”) Wish List 1. 2.