Yalla Issue 2

TOP 20 T I P S BYC O M M U N I T Y M A G A Z I N E
: CHAZAK
ON HOW TO ISSUE NO.2
BE A SUPER THE
MUM IN FEB HEROes

HALF TERM EDITION

MEMOIRS BITCOIN

OF A SEPHARDIC GIRL exposed

OSuupreLrhitetlreo A MAN

Mums of
at Work:
How to FAITH
Balance
the THE
Tightrope PERSIAN

THE FUTURE OF PA L AT E

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

FREEHOLD SALE

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FOR SALE: FITTED RESTAURANT & RESIDENTIAL UPPERS

Large residential catchment
Vibrant High Street in North London anchored
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Commercial element provides a single fronted
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Small forecourt area with external seating
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For further information please contact: YALLA MAGAZINE

Jonathan Moradoff
Davis Coffer Lyons

[email protected] 

CO N TAC T U S TO DAY

YALLA MAGAZINE 3

THE

CONTRIBUTORS

SHIRA DRUION
E d i to r - i n - Ch i ef

R A B B I Y I T S Y D AV I D
R A B B I S H L O M O FA R H I

RABBI MOSHE LEVY
RABBI DANIEL KADA

G AR E T H KO BR I N
MOSHE DRUION
R AC H E L I SA AC - SAU L
ELIZABETH FEIGIN
M AT T H E W M I L L E R
J O NAT H AN M O R AD O F F

MIMI MEYER
E SSIE SAKHAI
DANIELLA JAFF-KLEIN
KELLY KAHN
LESLIE SOLOMON
B AT S H E VA N E T Z E R
Y E H U D A A Z O U L AY
SHIRA DRUION

TABLE OF
CONTENTS

E D I T O R ’ S L E T T E R 02
A Note from Shira

F E A T U R E S
Mums at Work 48
A Man of Faith 79
Our Little Superhero 05
How to be a Super Mom in Feb Half Term 13
The Magic Carpet of Persia 72

I N S P I R A T I O N 44
A Hero in our Midst 65
Tu B’Shvat: Lessons for Life 96
Mordecahi Hayehudi 100
The Unique Merriment of Adar 126
Revealing the Secrets of Oznei Haman

PE O PL E AR E TAL KI N G 69
Memoirs of a Sephardic Girl 60
Leisure Property Market 111
A Magnificent Maverick

TABLE OF
CONTENTS

R E L A T I O N S H I P S 34
Teens Today 40
Mental Health for Teens 107
H E A L T H A N D W E L L N E S S 92
Shabbat Calories 103
Reflexology Revealed 57
The Winter Woes and How to Solve Them 29
T H E W O R L D O F T E C H 133
Artificial Intelligence 85
M O N E Y M A T T E R S 117
Bitcoin Exposed 124
W H A T ’ S H O T
Chazak in a Flash
SHORT STORY SERIES
The Day my Grampa Came to Visit
RE CIPE S
The Persian Palate
G R E AT R ABBI N I C F I G U R E S
Hacham Yitzchak Kaduri

WORDS FROM

R A B B I Y I T S Y D AV I D

It is amazing to look back over the last programming in the city and central London areas
eight years of Chazak and to see how the which is attended by a multi-cultural audience and
organisation has grown in its breadth of international array of London’s finest young community.
programming and its impact on the community.
Yalla Magazine is Chazak’s way of sharing the rich
Chazak started out as an organisation built and beautiful history, philosophy, culture, tastes
to strengthen the Sephardic community but has and wonders of the Sephardic world with you, our
become so much more than that. Chazak’s community audience as it allows us to try and shed light on the
centre in Hendon attracts teenagers from across pressing issues on all our minds.
the community. Young Sephardic boys and girls ask
almost apologetically if they can bring their Ashkenazi We have included a wide mix of articles that stretches
friends (of course the answer is always YES!). from finance to the challenges of parenting and of
course has many the inspiring narratives of the heroic
We are privileged to be invited as guest speakers humans in our world. We have endeavoured to
in all of the major synagogues, schools and cities in include something for everyone and it is our sincere
the United Kingdom and beyond. We are continuing hope that you enjoy reading through these pages as
to build our repertoire of young professionals much as we have enjoyed putting it all together.

1

EDITOR’S
LETTER

It’s 1:00am and I’m in the JFT office; just me and was Heroes.
the quiet, after a super long day and several
hours editing. Most writers will tell you that it is in It is hard to ascertain what exactly motivated that
the wee hours of the morning that the scripting thought but I think it came from Hashem. I believe most
bunny comes out to play as the words dance random thoughts that inexplicably enter my mind are
onto the keyboard like it’s nobody’s business. So here sent from Hashem to use accordingly. But I do believe
goes… in heroes. Every one of us needs to identify the humans
in our lives who are our heroes and appreciate how
Welcome back to our second edition of Yalla! Our their actions justify this title. Our heroes motivate us
first publication was so well received B”H that we to learn more diligently, to grow with more humility
pushed forward our next one and before I know it, and to develop our passions and dreams with more
deadline seemed to have arrived on my doorstep commitment and verve. The people who make us want
like an unexpected delivery, so obviously sent with to see more, to be more, to become more soulful and
love & light. We hope you feel just the same when you G-d-like.
receive your Yalla Magazine which we send with love
and light in abundance. But what is a hero really? My father always tells me,
“Shir, the test of a great person is not in his glorious
I was stuck in London traffic recently and - as has been moments but rather in the quiet ones that act as a
the case in the past - my mind was more focused on true litmus test of his character.” This couldn’t be more
my million + 1 duties pertaining to Yallla than it was on accurate.
the road! I was thinking of what to theme our upcoming
edition of Yalla and what immediately came to mind

2 YALLA MAGAZINE

When I thought about what the determining factors that May I take this opportunity to thank you - our readers
define true heroism are, I thought of it like a reservoir of - for engaging with us and for helping us to strive for
heroic DNA that resides inside each and every one of us, more, to become more and to offer you more as we take
waiting to be manifested. This ‘Hero Gene’ is essentially Chazak forward into 2018 with a more zestful pizzazz,
our G-dly spark, the mirror of greatness that refracts the empowered team, supportive community and most of all,
light of G-d like a prism, ultimately reflecting a luminous a more enlightened vision for a future that promises to
glow from all facets of the radiant stone sewn into each keep igniting the heroes around us.
and every one of us.
Love and Light,
The corrupted modern world can often define heroes as
the rich ones, the powerful ones, the strong ones, the good Shira
looking ones. This is in stark contrast to the spiritual, which
terms greatness in a much more profound light. The great “Our heroes motivate us to learn
men are the ones who master consistency, who display an more diligently, to grow with
incredulous sensitivity to the pain and triumphs of others. more humility and to develop
It recognises those who are bold for the sake of truth, our passions and dreams with
the honouring of integrity and for being generous with
every inch of one’s being. It is a world which recognises more commitment and verve.
the heroic qualities of the ordinary men and women who
have chosen to go beyond themselves and manifest SHIRA DRUION
their greatness. It is the soldier who goes back to save his
friend, it is the tired mother who rises early to make sure her ”
children are sorted for school or the boss who takes the
time to notice how his employee is feeling despite being
swamped with work commitments.

This edition is full of heroes, from our Persian ancestors
Mordechai and Esther of the Purim story, to the many who
inhabit the pages of this publication with their superhuman
qualities that have so clearly differentiated them from the
crowd.

When the Hollywood star Mathew McConaughey stood
up to receive his Oscar, he gazed into the star-studded
audience and said, “We all need a hero to look up to
and that hero is you in 10 years because you will never
reach that goal but it is what will keep you striving for more
and motivate you to keep pushing forward.”

YALLA MAGAZINE 3

SHALOM IN
THE HOME

SIX PART SERIES

New Term Starting Soon

TITLES INCLUDE

MEANINGFUL COMMUNICATION
CONFLICT RESOLUTION

KEEPING MARRIAGE FRESH

EDUCATORS INCLUDE: R’Yitsy David, R’Shlomo Farhi & Mrs Ora Goldberg

£60 per couple including a Friday night dinner finale
REGISTRATION ESSENTIAL

4 For moYArLeLAinMfAoGApZlIeNaEse contact [email protected]

OUR

LITTLE

SUPERHERO

A Father’s Journey…
Revealed.

- G AR E T H KO BR I N

The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further
than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find
himself in places no one has ever seen before.

This quote is attributed to Albert Einstein. I don’t know if he
actually said it, but I would love to have the opportunity to
ask him. I have this fantasy you see…

I go for a drink with Albert Einstein.

We sit at a table in an intimate pub in London, just the two
of us. We order a bottle of scotch and ponder existence.
We touch on everything, but concentrate on nothing.

I ask him about particle theory, the mysteries of the
universe and to prove to me that E really does equal mc
squared. We debate whether modern quantum mechanics
contradicts his Special Theory of Relativity and postulate
what a Grand Unifying Theory might actually comprise.

I ask him his opinions on religion, love and how it felt to help
create the nuclear bomb. I give him mine on life, logic and
premier league football.

The bar closes, so we high five and part ways.

After that conversation I would feel exhilarated – I engaged
in sophisticated banter with one of the greatest minds of all
time and held my own. I understood about 8% of what he

YALLA MAGAZINE 5

It was certainly
difficult to exist in a
community where the
vast majority wants
everything to be

the same.

said and I think I managed to convince him George reformed community because we thought they had

Best was better than Pele. deconstructed authentic Judaism.

But how would Al feel about the conversation? Therefore it was quite an eye-opener for us when we
experienced a similar discrimination every time we
From his perspective, I would come across as a climbed into our car to drive somewhere on Saturday
mental cripple. I am not a stupid human, but the gap morning. The Rabbis in our road knew we were Jewish
in intellect between Einstein and me is so vast that it because of our mezuzah, but there was an obvious
is comparable to me having a conversation about sense of disapproval (to say the least) with our way
international tax structuring with a trained monkey. of life.

The point is that everything is relative. (I think this was Perhaps it came from a good place, but it didn’t feel
actually Einstein’s first theory) good to be discriminated against for being different.
It was certainly difficult to exist in a community where
I have come to realise that when it comes to children, the vast majority wants everything to be the same.
we cannot be proud of them because of their
accomplishments; especially compared to others. Anyway, despite the feeling of isolation, we loved our
Rather we must try be proud of who they are. home and we had 2 beautiful healthy girls. I walked
with them to shul every Shabbat (only because of the
I should give some context before we continue: my proximity), but I still hopped in the car with them after
wife and I moved to London from South Africa over 10 lunch if we wanted to take them to sightsee in London.
years ago. By some inexplicable act of providence,
we landed up living in Golders Green – in what might Then, almost 4 years ago, my wife gave birth to what
be the frummest road outside of Bnei Brak. Like many we thought was a perfectly healthy boy. I remember
South Africans, we grew up with “traditional” Jewish the day clearly: Saturday morning, 17 May 2014,
values and an innate Zionistic affiliation. We drove Parshat Bad’midbar (“In the Wilderness”, which now
to shul on Friday nights, had Shabbat dinner with our seems poetic). At the time I was aware that it was
family and then watched TV. However, we considered Shabbat of course, but I still had no problem driving
ourselves fully orthodox. Ironically, we shunned the

6 YALLA MAGAZINE

home from the hospital after the birth and putting out there!
on the TV to watch some rugby and relax after the
traumatic labour experience. The next couple of weeks waiting for a diagnosis
were possibly the most traumatic of my life. We named
Around 6:30pm my wife Aimee interrupts the game to our special boy Aaron Joseph (or AJ to his sisters) and
tell me to urgently get back to the hospital. I thought the genetic specialists named what he was born with
nothing of it since she is usually the type to panic. as Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome (or “RTS”). I realise none
But, when I was brought into a cold room where the of you will have heard of this and it sounds like a
little man was being prodded by three people, I know medium-sized law firm, but suffice to say it is a genetic
something wasn’t kosher. disorder caused randomly at the time of conception.

In a nutshell, they had called in the top pre-natal Unfortunately we were told Aaron would have several
paediatric specialist in north London to come and physical issues to contend with and that he would be
examine him. She was clinical and to-the-point and severely mentally handicapped as well.
had the bedside manner of a Nazi scientist.
Most of the special needs cases with whom we
She listed 14 “observations” which weren’t “quite right” interact have neurological conditions, which are
about him. Abnormalities. Defects. Some are totally caused by problems in the brain and which usually
innocuous and some were downright freaky. occur at birth or during a pregnancy. The other class
of diagnoses involves a genetic abnormality which
When babies have so many seemingly unrelated occurs at the time of conception. It’s similar to how
issues, it usually points towards an underlying some superheroes are born with their powers (like
syndrome which causes them, some kind of genetic Superman), and some earn their powers by some
or chromosomal anomaly that explains all the cause or event (like Spiderman)
“deviations” from normality.
I like to think that our little boy was born a super hero.
That’s all we were told at the time and of course
that the Royal Free hospital basically shuts down After the diagnosis we were obsessed with asking
from lunch time Saturday until Monday morning. So why. From a physical perspective it’s the dread that
Professor Mengele left us with the haunting words that accompanies the thought that this all happened as
every parent could only hear in a dreaded nightmare, a result of something you did. Religiously you wonder
“there is definitely something wrong, but we won’t know if it is some kind of punishment. We started to think
what it is for a few weeks.” that maybe all those Saturday afternoon drives did
deserve the discerning looks we got from neighbours.
Aimee and I had 48 hours to type all 14 symptoms Aimee was basically ready to stick AJ in a backpack
into Google to try diagnose the disorder. Not such a and trek to Jerusalem to try discover some kind of
good idea. There are some pretty terrifying syndromes

“I like to think that our boy was born a 7
super hero.”

YALLA MAGAZINE

“When we are no longer
able to change a situation,
we are challenged to
change ourselves.”

- VIKTOR FRANKL

spiritual truth. phone on Friday evening seemed feasible.

The well-known Nietzsche quote explains it best: “He Well I am very proud to say that today we not
who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” only keep Shabbat on Friday nights, but Saturdays
as well. It is hard to put into words how Shabbat
In the end we actually did go and see a very holy was able to enrich our family, but those of you that
and wonderful rabbi here in Golders Green. He is very know will appreciate the true beauty of Shabbat in
learned in general and is also a student of Kabbalah, her sanctified ability to unite a family, to transcend
so we thought perhaps he could shed some mystical the mundane and to help provide meaning and
light during what we felt to be a dark time in our lives. perspective in this crazy world.

We explained Aaron’s syndrome and the obviously So here we are, over 3 years later – and our lives have
ominous implications, and I remember Aimee just sitting been transformed by our little hero. His abnormalities
there, weeping “Why?” His response was simple: “I have become our normal. His special needs are simply
have no idea why and anyone who tries to give you what this special boy needs. Viktor Frankl – survivor of
reasons should not be trusted. It happened and now Auschwitz and author of Man’s Search for Meaning –
you have to deal with it.” puts it very simply: “When we are no longer able to
change a situation, we are challenged to change
He advised us to donate charity to a related ourselves.”
cause (i.e. to an organisation which helps children
with special needs, or directly to families who have Sometimes it takes some darkness to help us see the
children with syndromes and the like). This sounded light.
like sensible advice to me – everyone understands
the concept of karma – and I remember learning I think most people go through life being too terrified
that Avraham travelled to the Far East to transfer to contemplate the reality of reality, but when
the wisdom of the Torah to their sages, so it must be something tragic happens, it helps provide a bit of
rooted in some truth. perspective; a bit of relativity.

His second piece of advice was less logical to me at In Aaron I don’t see his physical and mental maladies,
the time: try keep Shabbat. He told us to start with just I see a beautiful, infinite soul.
a Friday night and to take it from there.
Mark Twain wrote, “The common eye sees only the outside
I wasn’t ready to give up my Saturday sports of things and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces
indulgence, but in our desperate search for meaning through and reads the soul, finding there capacities
I was willing to try anything, so a few hours without my which the outside didn’t indicate or promise…”

8 YALLA MAGAZINE

In Aaron I don’t see his am not certain I would decide to “fix him”. I love him
and his broken little DNA. He has a purity and an

physical and mental awesomeness that I wouldn’t risk losing. Normal kids
are so boring.

maladies, I see a He may never find a soul mate, he will never do
beautiful, infinite soul. anything in the world of business or science and he
probably won’t even be able to talk to us – but just
Whatever your take on the soul, religion, or being around him makes me feel good, and that’s
spirituality… there is something astounding about something I could never give up.
the thought that Aaron will live his entire life without
ever doing anything wrong. He won’t talk badly about Warren Buffet said “Tell me your heroes and I’ll tell you
people, he won’t lie, he won’t cheat or steal and he how your life will end up.”
will never hurt anyone. He will cause no harm in the
world, he will only improve it. In an age where society idolises celebrities and
often worships the wrong kind of champions, it’s
But he will inspire. Could there be a more meaningful worth evaluating what we revere and hold dear.
existence than being the catalyst of other people’s
kindness? Aaron is a special soul, certainly not what we prayed
for. But he is a little ray of infinity, an ambassador
Maybe that is the definition of a true superhero. of heaven.

It may just be a case of ignorance is bliss, but I believe My broken boy is my hero – not despite being different,
there is something special about this little soul. Despite but because he is different.
his disabilities, I have never met a happier child.
Gareth was born in South Africa, where he graduated
There are many times I pray that his syndrome isn’t real with a Masters’ Degree in Economics from the University
or he will be ‘cured’. I picture coming home when Aaron of Cape Town. He moved to London just over a decade
is 6 and he looks up at me and says, “Welcome home ago and lives in Golders Green. He is married to Aimee
father. It appears I was incorrectly diagnosed. Can and together, have 3 beautiful children. Gareth worked
I pour you a whisky?” Unfortunately, the chromosome in the banking industry for a few years, where he also
that mutated and caused the RTS is imperfect for life qualified as a Chartered Management Accountant.
and failing some kind of miraculous genetic discovery, He is now CEO of a tax technology company called
he is going to be special forever. VATGlobal, part of the VAT IT group. When he’s not
doing VAT stuff, he loves to write and is obsessed with
But I am actually OK with that. I honestly believe that sport. If you need any advice on VAT, or just want some
if we were given the choice to make him ‘normal’, I sports banter, Gareth can be contacted at:

[email protected].

“Sometimes it takes some
darkness to help us see the
light.”

9

89 Golders Green Road
London NW11 8EN
0208 2488 472
headroomcafe.org

10 YALLA MAGAZINE

94 Golders Green Road
London NW11 8HB

YALLA MAGAZINE soyo.co.uk

0208 4588 788

11

20TOP TIPS TO KEEP
KIDS ENTERTAINED

12 YALLA MAGAZINE

HOW TO

BE A SUPER
MOM IN FEB
HALF TERM!

- KAT Y C O H E N &
R AC H E L

I SA AC - SAU L

Half Terms are always a great opportunity
to take the family out for some quality
time as well as doing fun packed days
out. We have come up with our Top 20
indoor and outdoor activities as well
as theatre events which we hope showcase some of the
fantastic opportunities London has to offer. The list includes
places you can visit that are open all year round whilst
some are specific to the February Half Term. We hope you
find this article useful as well as getting the kids excited for
the holidays.

13

ONE Name: Harry Potter: A History of Magic

Where: PACCAR Gallery

The British Library

96 Euston Road, London NW1 2DB

Nearest Tube: King’s Cross/St Pancras, Euston and Euston Square

When: Fri 20 - Wed 28 Feb 2018

Price: Included in regular museum ticket price which start at £8.00 for
Information: children and under 4’s are free.

Harry Potter fans and history lovers should prepare to be amazed by artefacts released from the archives of the
British Library, unseen sketches and manuscript pages from J.K. Rowling. It is a spellbinding exhibition to celebrate
the 20th anniversary of the publication of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. This is an unforgettable
journey exploring the history of the magic at the heart of the Harry Potter stories.

Another MUST for any Harry Potter fan is the Warner Brothers Studio Tour. Immerse yourself in the magic and
mystery of Harry Potter™ with a behind-the-scenes experience at Warner Bros. Studio Tour London - the Making
of Harry Potter. The studio tour is suitable for all ages and we recommend 3-4 hours so you can appreciate all
the museum has to offer.

TWO Name: Postal Museum & Mail Rail

Where: 15-20 Phoenix Place, London WC1X 0DA

Nearest Tube: Farringdon, Russell Square, King’s Cross and Chancery Lane.

When: Open all year round

Price: Tickets start at £8

Information:

The recently opened Postal Museum offers something for everyone. It is, interestingly, split over two sides of the
road.

On one side is the Mail Rail which includes a hands on technical experience of how the rail worked as well
as an enchanting miniature train ride lasting approximately 20 min. It must be booked in advance and is small
due to the track size so might be a squeeze for the very tall or large. At ground level is Sorted!, a postal play
area for 0-8s.

On the other side of the road is the Royal Mail exhibition (Postal Museum) which offers a fascinating insight into
the history of the postal service. It is well set out with a route to walk round so you see everything on display.
There is a lot of hands-on stuff, from designing your own stamp to sending rolled-up messages via overhead
pneumatic tubes.

14 We recommend a 2-3 hour visit YALLA MAGAZINE

THREE Name: A world inside a book: Gruffalo’s, dragons and other creatures

Where: Discover Children’s Story Centre,

383-387 High Street, London E15 4QZ Stratford

Nearest Tube: Stratford High Street (DLR), and Stratford

When: Sat 21 Oct 2017 – Sept 2018

Price: Exhibition carries a £1.50 additional charge to the museum
Information: entrance fee of £6.50 and under 1’s are free.

Take a trip into the brilliant 3-D technicolour world of the best loved children’s author, Julia Donaldson and
illustrator Axel Scheffler, with the UK’s first immersive exhibition of their wonderful work. Enter the magical world
of Axel and Julia where you will discover well-loved characters, landscapes to explore and create your own
stories. This promises to be a fantastic exhibition. Sessions last approximately 40 minutes and are targeted at
children aged 0-8. You can then visit the rest of the centre.

4 Name: Imagine Children’s Festival
Where: Southbank Centre

Belvedere Road, London SE1 8XX

Nearest Tube: Waterloo and Embankment

When: Weds 7 – Sun 18 Feb 2018

Price: Free

Information:

The Southbank Centre offers 12 days of jam-packed half-term fun in the annual festival run by kids for kids.
You will find there the best of children’s theatre, plenty of hands on activities to get stuck into and events by
inspirational authors. There will be loads to do for ages 0 – 12.

FIVE Name: Dinosaurs in the wild

Where: THE GREENWICH PENINSULA,

Peninsula Square, Greenwich Peninsula, London SE10 0SQ

Nearest Tube: North Greenwich

When: Mon 12 – Weds 28 Feb 2018

Price: Tickets start at £21.25

Information:

Dinosaurs in the Wild takes you on the voyage of a lifetime. Once you board the time machine your adventure
begins – in seconds their pioneering technology will transport you back 67 million years to see living dinosaurs
with your very own eyes. Get closer to dinosaurs than you ever imagined possible. The experience lasts about
90 minutes and is targeted at children aged 5 and above.

6 Name: Become a Vet at London Zoo
Where: London Zoo

Regent’s Park, London, NW1 4RY

Nearest Tube: Camden Town

When: Sun 11 – Mon 19 Feb 2018

Price: £18 - £26.90

Information:

Families are being invited to become vets in London Zoo’s brand new Animal Hospital, an exciting role-playing
experience for budding veterinaries. Children help junior vets x-ray and carry out toy treatments, experiencing
first-hand the huge variety of work carried out by the Zoo’s vets and zookeepers on a daily basis. The toy
practice is staffed with junior vets, prepped with gloves and masks, and a team in the specially created ‘surgery’.
Throughout, exciting talks and activities explain everything the Zoo’s amazing vets team do to keep the 18,000
animals in tip-top condition - from microchipping meerkats to checking tiger teeth. It is suitable for ages 6 and
up.

16 YALLA MAGAZINE

SEVEN Name: Milton Keynes XScape Sports Centre (includes Snozone, Indoor Skydiving, bowling and
cinema)

Where:

Xscape MK, 602 Marlborough Gate, Milton Keynes, Bucks, MK9 3XS

When: Snowzone
Price: Open all year round from 10am – 10pm
Sledging 45 minutes (Adult) - £12.99-£18.99

Sledging 45 minutes (Junior) - £9.99 - £15.99

Information: Sledging 45 minutes (family of four – one person must be 16+) - £34.99 - £49.99

Snozone is the UK’s leading snow centre for indoor skiing and snowboarding on real snow. The closest one,
located in Milton Keynes, offers skiers and snowboarders an authentic slope experience. Whether it’s your first
time on skis or you’re an experienced snowboarder, Snozone has a range of indoor activities to suit all ages
and all abilities – they’ve taught nearly 2 million guests since opening in 2000.

EIGHT Name: Indoor skydiving
When:
Price: Open all year round from 11am – 11pm (Saturday and Sunday
open from 7am)
Information:
Kick – Start for 1 is £28.99

Kick – Start for 2 is £53.99

iFLY offers you the chance to fly and sample the joy of flight as a pair or on your own. No previous experience
is necessary and as long as you’re ready for an adrenalin fuelled experience, their instructors will ensure you
have the ultimate sky diving experience.

They also offer Air-Born (4 flights, equivalent to 6 x 12,000 feet skydives). Double the flying time of the Kick-Start
and twice the fun! Often taken as 2 x double length flights, you can really start to make progress. Price includes
online discount.

YALLA MAGAZINE 17

NINE Name: Coral Reef Bracknell’s Water World
Where:
When: Nine Mile Ride, Bracknell RG12 7JQ

Price: Open all year round (Mon - Fri: 10:30am – 8:45pm and Sat &
Information: Sun: 9am – 5:45pm)

Tickets start at £7.80 and under 5’s are free

Discover the amazing waterslides at Coral Reef Waterworld. From the gentle Aqua Splash, to the stormy
Maelstrom, there is something for all the family.
The centre includes:
The thrill of their new iconic giant waterslides
The Little Corals Toddlers’ Pools, designed for the under 5s, which includes a large yellow diving bell and
drench buckets, 2 small slides and water troughs
Access to the Coralina pirate ship to fire water cannons and ride its slide
An erupting volcano
Fast flowing water around a disco island rapid channel
The Lazy River, enjoying the outdoor sun, available weekends and throughout the holiday periods
Relaxing poolside spa pools

18 YALLA MAGAZINE

TEN Name: Bracknell Discovery Centre

Where: Nine Mile Ride, Bracknell, Berkshire RG12 7QW

When: Open all year round from 10am – 5pm

Price: Tickets start at £5.00 and under 4’s are free

Information:

Do you or your family get a kick out of solving puzzles, or are you fascinated by learning how things work? If so
then you’ll love The Look Out Discovery Centre.

This hands-on science exhibition and nature exhibition has over 90 activities suitable for children of all ages,
spread over five zones. Launch a rocket or set off a hot air balloon in the Forces and Movement Zone. Learn
the mysteries of the human body and brain in the Body and Perception Zone by testing speed and reflex; play
with laser beams in the Light and Colour Zone, step outside to discover local wildlife in the Woodland and
Water Zone and, finally, join the Look Out construction crew in the Build it! Zone.

Outdoors there’s an adventure play area, forest walks and nature trails are perfect to explore by bike or foot.
The infant play trail is ideal for ages 3-6 with its massive fort in the middle! A day of discovery, learning, play and
nature!

11 Name: National Maritime Museum

Where: Park Row, London SE10 w

Nearest Tube: North Greenwich, Jubilee Line

When: Open all year round from 10am – 5pm

Price: Free

Information:

The museum itself is incredibly large and offers a range of exhibitions, special collections and permanent
displays which cover everything from traders across the globe, mighty sea voyagers, models of war ships and
the history of the Atlantic. There is also a specific Children’s Gallery along with a Ship Simulator Interactive
Gallery.

The Children’s Gallery allows youngsters to become a sailor on the gallery’s ship, Seahorse. They can prepare
food in the galley, whilst learning what real sailors would have been eating on board or they can shoot a
cannon at a pirate ship in a new interactive game.

The Ship Simulator brings to life a ship at sea and allows your child to become part of the crew and experience
life at the beck and call of the captain. The simulator is actually based on what the captains of P&O are
trained with. It is open to families on school holidays, every weekend and every Tuesday.

19

Older children will approve of the interactive elements of the museum in the Children’s Gallery. Toddlers will love the
little crane ride where they can pick up and throw a sandbag into a boat. This is a nice, and rather cute, touch.
Storytelling activities, when they’re on, are engaging and fun.

If you are in the area, you might like to take a cruise along the Thames depending on the weather. Take the tube to
Waterloo Station (Northern Line) and you can catch a TFL river boat from the London Eye Pier to North Greenwich
Pier – takes approx. 1 hour. From there you can take the cable car across the river Thames and take the DLR – a
driverless train back to the Northern Line.

TWELVE Name: 360 Play Stevenage

Where: Stevanage Leisure Park

Six Hills Way, Stevenage SG1 2UA

When: Open all year round 9:30am – 5:30pm

Price: Children’s prices start at £7.50 and under 1’s are free

Information:

360 is by far the most interactive soft play for young children. The central area consists of a soft play, bumper
cars and a carousel. The surrounding areas which cater more for the younger ones include a section which
allows children to explore their imagination through dressing up and role-play, as well as lego and a mini soft
play zone. It is a fun day out for all.

20 YALLA MAGAZINE

13 Name: Paultons Family Theme Park

Where: Ower, Romsey,

The New Forest, Hampshire SO51 6AL

When: Check website for opening times as they may vary

Price: Prices start at £27.25

Information:

Paultons Family Theme Park Home to Peppa Pig World has over 70 wonderful rides and attractions included in
the price. Paultons has been voted as the number 1 UK theme park for families by readers of Netmums, Which?,
Mumsnet and by reviewers on Trip Advisor. The Park is set on the edge of the New Forest National Park.

Paultons has a wide variety of children’s rides, family rides and thrill rides to enjoy including roller coasters, water
rides, a 4D Cinema and many more.

Peppa Pig World is Peppa Pig’s very own theme park, with 7 fun rides and attractions, an indoor playzone,
muddy puddles water splash Park and more - a must for all Peppa fans

FOURTEEN Name: Hampton Court Palace
Where: Molesey, East Molesey KT8 9AU

When: Open all year round, Monday-Sunday: 10am – 6pm
Price:
Information: Prices start at £10.45 and children under 5 are free. Buying
online is always cheaper.

Discover the magnificence of Henry VIII’s favourite royal residence. Immerse yourself in the sights and sounds of
the bustling Base Court and marvel at the breath-taking grandeur of Henry’s State Rooms. Stroll through over
60 acres of enchanting gardens, lose yourself in the famous maze and appreciate the beauty of one of the
greatest palaces on earth.

Explore the Chocolate Kitchens at Hampton Court or creep along the Haunted Gallery and discover another
palace, the Baroque Palace, full of intrigue and gossip from the Stuart and Georgian era. Audio guides are
included in the palace ticket and costumed tours and talks happen daily, as well as an excellent programme
of seasonal events.

Digital missions are available at Hampton Court Palace. Go on an interactive adventure at Hampton Court
Palace. Meet characters from history, explore all around you, do challenges and win badges!

YALLA MAGAZINE 21

15 Name: Great Notley Country Park, Essex

Where: Great Notley, CM77 7FS

When: Open all year round from 8am – 8pm

Price: Will differ depending on which activity you choose

Information:

Great Notley Country Park near Braintree covers some 100 acres of open space. The site is home to Sky
Ropes and Essex’s longest play trail – 1.2km - including a giant see-saw, climbing forest, tyre swings, sand pits,
rope climbers, slides, forts and a water play area, making it a great place for all ages to explore.

The park is also popular for birdwatching, walking, cycling, fishing, horse riding, football, picnics and kite-flying.

If you love the thrill of climbing Go Ape in Ally Pally and Clip n Climb in Chelsea are a must too.

SIXTEEN Name: Stanborough Lakes

Where: Stanborough Rd, Welwyn Garden City AL8 6DQ

When: Open all year round

Price: Will differ depending on the activity you choose

Information:

With its many attractions the Park and Lakes have something for all ages and tastes and offer a rewarding day
out for all the family. If you want to be active there are lots of activities on offer, both water and land based.

Facilities include:

• Activity Centre • Water Walkers

• Childrens Play Area • Coarse Fishing

• Walks (See www.hertsdirect.org/walking) • Model Boating Lake

• Orienteering

• Nature trail

• The Lakes

• Rowing Boat & Pedal Boat Hire

22 YALLA MAGAZINE

YALLA MAGAZINE 23

17 Name: What the Ladybird Heard

Where: ArtsDepot

5 Nether St, North Finchley, London N12 0GA

Nearest Tube: Finchley Central and Woodside Park

When: Weds 14 – Sat 17 Feb 2018

Price: £11-14

Information:

Hefty Hugh and Lanky Len have a cunning plan to steal the farmer’s fine prize cow. But they reckon without the
tiniest, quietest creature of all: The Ladybird has a plan of her own!

Wacky songs, animal sounds and upbeat performances abound in this charming stage version of the popular
children’s picture book. The performance last 55 minutes (no interval) and is aimed at age 3+.

18 Name: Pinnochio
Where: The National Theatre,

Upper Ground, South Bank, London SE1 9PX

Nearest Tube: Waterloo and Southwark

When: 1 Dec 2017 – 7 Apr 2018

Price: £15 - £62

Information:

On a quest to be truly alive, Pinnochio leaves Geppeto’s workshop with Jiminy Cricket in tow. Their electrifying
adventure takes them from alpine forests to Pleasure Island, to the bottom of the ocean.

This spectacular production is brought to the stage by an extraordinary team including the director of Harry
Potter and the Cursed Child and the writer of Matilda the Musical. Featuring unforgettable songs from the Walt
Disney classic, Pinnochio is brought to life like never before.

24 YALLA MAGAZINE

NINETEEN Name: I Believe in Unicorns

Where: The Polka Theatre,

240 The Broadway, Wimbledon, London SW19 1SB

Nearest Tube: Wimbledon and South Wimbledon

When 14th Feb – 18th Feb 2018

Price Tickets £13.50 | Concessions £10

Information:

An enchanting tale about the power of books and one boy’s bravery. Tomas hates reading and school,
but his world is turned upside down the day he meets the Unicorn Lady in his local library, a place where the
books hold more than stories within their pages. We challenge you not to believe in unicorns as we join Tomas’
interactive spellbinding journey.

“A glorious example of the magic of storytelling… I loved it”

The performance last 60 minutes (no interval) and is recommended for ages 6-12.

20 Name: Othello

Where: Unicorn Theatre

147 Tooley St, London SE1 2HZ

Nearest Tube: Southwark and London Bridge

When: Sat 3 Feb – Sat 3 Mar 2018

Price: Starts at £8

Inspired by William Shakespeare’s great tragedy, this is a modern, funny and inspired play by Belgian playwright
Ignace Cornelissen (Henry the Fifth, The Hunting Lodge) that brings the story of Othello to life for younger
audiences and reflects on the nature of relationships, friendships and how our flaws and feelings can blind us
to the truth. The performance lasts an hour and is targeted at kids aged 8-12.

Please check website for the opening hours of the individual activities.

These are just a few ideas for families 25
to get the most out of half term.

YALLA MAGAZINE

Rachel Isaac-Saul is the proud mother of three children and lives in Hendon.

She has a BA in Modern History. From a young age she has always been

involved in music and has taught piano and violin; including playing for the

Queen at St James’s palace. Rachel has also dedicated the last 20 years

to teaching Kodesh to young children in St. John’s Wood. She is currently the

events manager for Laniado and loves organising events; from gala dinners

t2o6 fun days out for her kids. YALLA MAGAZINE

ALL YEAR
ROUND
OPTIONS

The Royal Gunpowder Mills – families can explore
the secret history of gunpowder, explosives and rocket
propellants through our engaging interactive Exhibitions,
Science Shows and Children’s Activities.

Lost Jungle London – families can enjoy a 36 Hole
adventure golf course, a 9 hole footgolf course or a 9
hole ‘short’ golf course

Open Mead Farm is always great value for money and
fun for a range for ages.

Golden Hinde in central London (for this you need to
book tickets).

Please check website for the opening hours of the individual
activities.

Please be aware that everything on this list was correct at
time of going to print including pricing

Katy was born and raised in Gibraltar. She has a BSc in
International Management and a post grad in Education.
After completing her studies in Manchester and Paris, she
worked in marketing in New York. She currently lives in London
with her husband and is a proud full-time mum to her three
young children.

BITCOIN It is interesting to note the mood in which our present world
E X P osed finds itself, looking at it from a geopolitical, economic and
central banking perspective. We have once again been
- MOSHE DRUION witness to the rise to prominence of the technological
world after the crash of technology stocks in the 2001
Dotcom bubble. This has allowed for the formation of tech
superpowers such as Google, Amazon, and Facebook,
all of whom have added their own unique value to the

28 YALLA MAGAZINE

Economist Moshe Druion
breaks Bitcoin down

Moshe Druion is formerly South African economist who received his professional training at ETM Analytics in
Johannesburg and currently lives in Tel Aviv Israel, where he currently works as transfer pricing economist for
PwC. His interests include economics, technology, and watching the occasional football game if the mighty
Manchester United are playing.

world. It is no secret that technological innovation has and its most closely associated counterpart ‘Bitcoin’.
become a national buzzword in many countries with the The basis of this article is not to attempt to predict the
rejuvenation, reinvention and advancement of many value of Bitcoin or various cryptocurrencies in the future
different fields and industries such as health, automotive, but rather to explore what the blockchain and Bitcoin/
military technology and commerce. cryptocurrencies are and perhaps to shed some light on
what these developments mean for society as a whole
In our current climate, one of the most ground-breaking going forward.
and disruptive technologies is that of the blockchain

YALLA MAGAZINE 29

As an economist, I was schooled with the material
of the Austrian school of economics and so s was
naturally drawn towards a currency where control
of the currency is decentralized. Decentralized
cryptocurrency is produced by the entire
cryptocurrency system collectively, at a rate which
is defined when the system is created and which is
publicly known.

To make the Blockchain simpler to understand, we will In centralized banking and economic systems such
illustrate the blocks in a chain to be equal to pages as the Federal Reserve System, corporate boards
in a book. For example, a book is a chain of pages. or governments control the supply of currency by
Each page in a book contains the text: for example printing units of fiat money or demanding additions
the story and information about the page itself: at the to digital banking ledgers. In case of decentralized
top of the page is usually the title of the book, as well cryptocurrency, companies or governments cannot
as the chapter number or title, while at the bottom produce new units, and have not so far provided
there is usually the page number which tells you where backing for other firms, banks or corporate entities
you are in the book. So too in a block chain block, which hold asset value measured in it.
each block has the contents of the block, for example
in Bitcoin, it is the Bitcoin transactions, and the miner In terms of Bitcoin’s potential hurdles, the reputation
incentive reward (currently 25 BTC). In addition to of a platform that allows for theoretically limitless and
this, the block ‘header’ contains the data about the instantaneous transfers of wealth anonymously is easily
block. In Bitcoin, the header includes some technical sullied when its capabilities are used for dubious
information about the block, a reference to the purposes. Another consequence of this is that it allows
previous block, and a fingerprint (hash) of the data for effortless scapegoating by governments, who
contained in this block, amongst other things. jealously guard their national currency monopolies
and are happy to continue doing so even if for a
superficially differing rationale.

This risk of government clamp-down, particularly at the
more tangible nexus of exchanges for Bitcoins into
other currencies, is a key hurdle to Bitcoin’s potential
popular ascension and the ascension of other
competing monetary systems.

A currency monopoly is, after all, one of the most
powerful pillars of modern governments. It is for this
reason that, at least in current times, any kind of digital
currency would always effectively be renegade and
under the table. Over time, however, if confidence
in national centralized monetary systems wanes, the
appeal of digital alternatives can rise sharply and
quickly.

30 YALLA MAGAZINE

To quote Gareth

One of my initial reservations about cryptocurrency Brickman of ETM
still holds true today regarding hackers who are Analytics North
potentially able to steal funds from cryptocurrency America, “ In the case
wallets with a recent example being the Tether of Bitcoin, even though
account whereby a hacker transferred $30 million to it is constructed as a
their private Bitcoin account. How the cryptocurrency digital version of a
world figures out a solution to this potential stumbling scarce commodity, it
block remains to be seen. does not readily have
much of a use-value in
While the blockchain system and by extension and of itself, perhaps
cryptocurrency is a very intriguing conceptual basis for beyond mere novelty
an alternative medium of exchange, cryptocurrency is not and its application
really used as a medium of exchange at all. It functions
rather as a digital coupon that gets purchased with
government money because it is able to represent value
within the Bitcoin financial system that can be transferred
much more quickly and discreetly than in the conventional
financial system. However, when all’s said and done,
Bitcoin itself is not generally acceptable for payment in
the real world and its exchange rate is extremely volatile.
The speed and discreetness attributes also mean it’s a
magnet for illicit activities. Beyond the downright criminal,
the bulk of the trading volume in Bitcoin exchanges these
days emanates from China as the populace there uses it
to subvert capital and exchange controls.

Consequently, there are additional layers of risk from as the means of
the monopsony of Chinese participants and regulatory

impediments. While governments are unlikely to be able transferring value
to ever completely crush the Bitcoin financial system, they

can make utilizing it much more onerous, risky and hamper through the distributed
the ability to exchange between their currencies. All of
which bode ill for the Bitcoin itself to become a generally

accepted medium of exchange, which is supposedly its network like a receipt
ultimate appeal. An example of this is in Morocco where

Morocco’s currency regulator recently announced a ban or coupon.
on transactions in Bitcoin and other virtual currencies,

in a country where foreign exchange flows are tightly

controlled. YALLA MAGAZINE 31

“In our current climate, Whilst this problem of a lack of definitive use-value
one of the most can be supplanted by substitution (gradually linking
ground-breaking prices in existing currencies with an exchange rate
and disruptive for Bitcoins), this means the development of an
technologies is that objective exchange value by integrating Bitcoin into
of the blockchain... the pricing of goods and production will be subject
to exchange rate volatility. In addition, in order for
- MOSHE DRUION this integration to take place and it would have to
become increasingly desirable to hold and transact
” with Bitcoins, thus their purchasing power would need
to increase and they would become relatively more
valuable.

32 YALLA MAGAZINE

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www.pizaza.com YALLA MAGAZINE 33

TEENS
T O D AY

Rabbi Yitsy David shares insights & solutions
on how to deal with today’s
generation of teens.

Having been involved in education outline some of the common challenges parents face
for over a decade, I have with their teenagers. The point is not to lament the
interacted with hundreds of fact but rather to shed light that can be of help in
students of all ages and walks creating solutions to help create more harmonious
of life. Teenagers are exciting, relationships and better adjusted teens.
dynamic and unpredictable and also come with their
many challenges. Although they hail from a diversity Teenage Rebellion –Of all the stages of parenting,
of cultures, backgrounds and social groups, all come this phase is by far the most challenging but the
with a common set of challenges that apply to teens redeeming fact is that it is just a phase, scientific
across the board. What makes the teen situation fact! Upon entering the “teen years” something
even more testing is the increasingly young age that physiologically alters in the brain. Scientists explain how
our children are becoming ‘teeny.’ the brain undergoes a reshaping and reconstruction
in the teen years. Some of the many outcomes of this
There have been many changes in the last decade change manifest in feelings of insecurity, the search
and I have even heard some people claim that for a new identity and at times severe changes in
you have to consider it a new generation every personality.
three years, which creates an environment that
makes education challenging and at times renders In the 1970’s Richard Bandler and John Grinder
parenting almost impossible. How many times a week founded NLP otherwise known as Neuro-linguistic
do we think to ourselves, “will I ever understand my Programming which in layman’s terms is an approach
teenager?” Or, “If only we knew what was motivating that links the neurological processes of our brain to
them to behave like this? If only they would let me in linguistics (the way we speak) and to our behavioural
a little and allow me to understand, after all, I’m just patterns (programming). NLP works on the premise that
trying to help!” we are programmed linguistically to do the opposite
of what we are told and it goes on to explain the
Of course every family is different and every child is delicate balance between the language we use
unique, but in the following article, we will attempt to and the persuasive powers it yields over us.

34 YALLA MAGAZINE

“How many times a week
do we think to ourselves,
‘will I ever understand my

teenager?’”

YALLA MAGAZINE 35

In other words, the way we say things affects the but sometimes it’s the only way. It doesn’t mean that
response we elicit. Nowhere is this more apparent than a parent should stand by idly while their teenagers
in parenting teenagers. Our words fall on deaf ears. experiment and explore, of course a parent has the
Our sentiments so often ignored. It seems that the more right to set boundaries and help their teens to stay
we lecture them on what they should be doing, the healthy on all fronts. But ultimately the more we try and
further away from that path they steer. The more we try help, the less effective we are as parents.
to help, to guide, to encourage, the more they argue,
lock us out and run further away. Wayne W. Dyer, author and parenting expert has
repeatedly tried to give over this idea. He states that:
The road of a parent of a teenager is fraught with
temperamental and emotional episodes and is often “Your children are not
one that is very confusing for all. Western parenting
models might ask us to discipline them harshly or may your children. They are
require us to sit down and try to ‘lecture’ them into the product of life’s
understanding what it is that they now need to do. longing for itself. They

Essentially that sounds like, “You are not good enough. come through you but
You need to improve.” But this is precisely the message
we should not be wanting to give our already fraught
and insecure teenagers. Instead, we should be
attempting to imbue them with a sense of confidence,
helping them to understand their place in the world and
to ultimately help them to find a place of acceptance.

So how can we improve the situation? The answer is not for you. You have to
unfortunately not an easy one BUT paradoxically is sit back and allow them
amazingly simple and yet seemingly impossible at the the space to advance
same time.
in their own time.
The answer is NOTHING, we have to do nothing. As
parents we naturally care and love our children so much. - WAY N E W . D Y E R
We feel a responsibility for and to them and therefore
we feel the need to help (or “butt in” as they would ”
say) in every situation. However, at this time in their lives,
it’s not going to help. In fact it’s counterproductive!
It is so hard to keep quiet and not to get involved,

36 YALLA MAGAZINE

He explains that one of the biggest problems we unconditional love, the knowing that you will always
experience in our parenting is an attachment to that believe in them, be there for them and accept them,
which we think is ours. We think of our children as ‘ours’. no matter who they are or what they become, purely
We don’t see them as separate to ourselves. And and solely because they are your child, is truly powerful.
therefore we struggle to let them go. We think that
because we gave birth to them, we own them. But, this Although the entire philosophy of Chazak’s summer
couldn’t be more inaccurate. trip to Israel for seventeen year old boys is based on
the premise that we do not force religion or rules, one
In order to parent effectively, we need to step away story in particular story in particular illustrates the point
which at times can be terrifying. However, it is when we beautifully.
take a step back, something magical starts to happen.
In our letting go, we start to see a different picture. As The challenge of the trip is to find the perfect balance
one mother put it: “Once I realised that my children between freedom and structure. On a religious level
were not mine to turn into my vision for how I thought we encourage the boys to observe as much as they
they should be, I was able to start seeing them as ‘real do at home, without forcing them to do so. One year,
people with real wishes and different minds’. It was an a boy came to me at the end of the two weeks and
incredible experience for me. I saw them as individuals, said “Rabbi, I just wanted to tell you that this is the first
not just my kids that I needed to control. It was the most time since my Bar Mitzvah that I have laid Teffillin for so
liberating parenting advice anyone has ever given me. many days consecutively. In fact for the last two years
Just to let go….” I’ve probably only worn them a handful of times.”

It is only through letting go that we are able to start to “why did you even bring them?” I asked him.
view our teens as people whose thoughts and ideas
are worthy of respect. When we do this, we will we be “My Dad made me.” He answered. “But I had
able to stop seeing ‘us in them’ but rather see ‘them
for who they are’ which is primary in order to help our no intention on wearing them even once. I just
treasured teens to get to where they need to go.
brought them with to avoid confrontation.”
Perhaps the most important thing a parent can do is
LOVE, limitlessly, continuously and unconditionally! “So what changed?” I inquired eagerly

Don’t fight with them…, listen. Don’t argue with them, “On the first day of the trip you said something
ask them what they think the solution should be. Don’t
tell them what they should be doing, affirm that what that just switched my whole attitude...”
they are already doing is great. Just the giving of
Now I was really intrigued.

“You said we don’t have to! You said that you don’t

YALLA MAGAZINE 37

believe in forcing people to do Mitzvoth and we aren’t unconditionally. Close your eyes and just imagine
going to be checking up on any one. We encourage it if someone did that for you? There is power to that.
and believe it’s very important, but nobody is going to There is a great power to feeling accepted.
force you. It made me actually think for the first time if this
was something I actually wanted to do, and I decided SELF
that I did.” ESTEEM

I am filled with deep happiness when I think about the The power of acceptance is that in truth it is the
fact that to date, he has continued to wear his Teffillin foundation for self-esteem. A child who is allowed to
daily and that was five years ago. be themselves and is loved wholly for who they are has
what is required to become confident. Our goal should
Obviously it’s not always as simple as that. But the point be to create children whose spirit is intact and who
rings through with so much truth. This example is just one have not been tattooed with nasty words.
of many. Teens do not take easily to parental rules so
we need to be innovative and find alternative ways These words in our head make up our blueprint. We
of encouraging our children with positive reinforcement. believe the words people say to us wholeheartedly
and for most of us, these words were not words that
Ultimately, our goal is to raise mature, confident, built us but rather words that quietly tore us down.
independent adults which sometimes requires us having We are a nation riddled with anxiety and depression.
to let go. Patronising a child is not going to achieve The World Health Organisation says that by the year
that but never failing to shower them with love and 2020, the leading cause of death and disease will
warmth can. It is also important to allow them distance be depression. Unfortunately, the majority of us don’t
to create a space where they feel we are treating love ourselves in the way we should. Our self-esteem
them with respect as they feel they deserve. has been slowly chipped away by years and years of
well-meaning but misguided parenting.
Part of the reason we may feel uncomfortable with this
kind of advice is because it puts the onus on us, the Therapists and pharmaceutical companies may be
parents, as opposed to simply blaming the child. But thriving on the low self-esteem epidemic in the world
so much of parenting can be helped with us doing the today but as a nation who never settle for the status
work, not them. Our children are a product of us, they quo and who always want to strive for more, what can
are not a product of all the lectures we have given we do to raise our child’s self-esteem?
them. You can tell a child to love Hashem all day long
but if you don’t love Hashem yourself, the message falls Do we even know what a healthy self-esteem looks like?
on deaf ears. Do you have a good self-esteem? How can we expect
our children to have one when we question our own
Imagine being able to let go and allowing your
teens to be ‘their true selves’ by loving them

38 YALLA MAGAZINE

Self-esteem is a term thrown around so frequently but help them along this eventful journey. Of course these
hardly understood. In the Oxford English Dictionary, the ideas are just scratching the surface and are by no
definition for self-esteem is: means claiming to be magic solutions. Every parent has
been given the gift of their child, and with Hashem’s
“Confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect.” help may we be given the strength to guide them in
their destined paths and only see Nachat from them all.
Howard Glasser, founder of The Nurtured Heart
Approach, worked with the most delinquent of “If we keep highlighting
teenagers in America, for over 25 years. He often
administered Ritalin and tried desperately to work with their good qualities
the parents to resolve the issues. and deeds, we will
begin to build happy
After years and years of handing out prescriptions and children who have a
hours of talking to parents and teens, he realised it was healthy self-image and
all in vain. He noticed that the common denominator in
all these kids was low self-esteem. They didn’t think much self-concept.
of themselves which also ensured that their parents not
think much of them. He developed a revolutionary - RABBI YITSY
approach to parenting: The Nurtured Heart Approach.
An approach that is not to be confused with positive D AV I D
parenting where we throw out positive comments here
and there to try and build our children. He values ”
children and their intelligence much more than that.

He encourages parents to offer children the chance to
constantly be exposed to experiences which give them
the opportunity to affirm their self-esteem. He calls this
‘shining the light of greatness upon them.’ In other words,
there must be ample amount of times EVERY SINGLE
day that you could affirm your child’s and thereby
positively impact their self-esteem. “I loved how you
just woke up and went to school without complaining
today! Or I love your attitude towards your sister, you
are so compassionate and kind.”

If we keep highlighting their good qualities and deeds,
we will begin to build happy children who have a
healthy self-image and self-concept.

As with all advice, it’s easier said than done. We all
want the best for our children and do what we can to

YALLA MAGAZINE 39

MENTAL Having studied Education with History at the University of
HEALTH Cambridge, Elizabeth went on to read her M.Phil there in
For Teens Psychology and Education. Elizabeth has also done a Diploma
in Psychology and is in the process of studying a Professional
- ELIZABETH FEIGIN Doctorate in Psychology. As a trainee psychologist Elizabeth
works in mental health, both in and out of the Jewish community.
Understanding the Elizabeth has pursued research surrounding the impact of media
dichotomy of a on development and image. She is a Philosophy & Ethics A Level
teenage brain teacher and is Head of Sixth Form PSHE at Immanuel College. The
latter entails building, training and giving over the PSHE curriculum
surrounding matters relating to well-being, including mental health,
intimacy and societal pressures. Elizabeth enjoys working with
teenagers in a range of forums, combining her love for Judaism,
academia, psychology and education. Elizabeth is available for
further discussion, running of workshops or private classes. You can
reach her at:

[email protected].

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Emotive, dramatic, impulsive, irrational, heartedly into that which they choose which can
instinctive, spontaneous, rash, sensitive, often bring about great opportunities. However, this
touchy, unplanned, free…. Can you can leave teens vulnerable, as they may choose
imagine all of this wrapped up in one? something dangerous to passionately pursue,
Well, do you know any teenagers? especially considering they are often not well-
connected to the sensible decision-making part of
The development of the brain entails connections the brain. Just as the teenage brain is daring enough
between its various parts. As any teen, or teacher, to embrace the challenges and risks that lead to
parent, friend of a teen, may know, the area of the brain success, so too the teenage brain is daring enough
that controls emotions is highly charged during puberty to embrace a range of more damaging challenges
and the teenage years. There is an area at the front and risks like drugs and alcohol.
of the brain that is responsible for calculating risk versus
control that is used in order to make sensible decisions. It Sadly, some of the risks taken can hinder the
may come as no surprise to you that the highly charged development of connections that should be made
emotional zone and the sensible decision-making area in the brain on a long-term basis, such as drug use
of the brain are often not well connected during the or unhealthy relationships. However, many of the risks
teenage years. Put simply, the combination the teenage taken result in relationships built, subjects studied,
brain depicts high levels of emotions + little connectivity roles auditioned for, applications pursued, and
with rational decision making enable them to build solid foundations for the future.
Especially since these daily processes harvest brain
This instantly enhances our understanding of the connectivity, on which the ability to make informed
stereotypical features of being a teenager, as and healthy decisions in the future depends.
listed above. It also helps us to gain more insight
into teenagers’ ability to overcome the challenging Essentially we can see that with the teen years comes
hurdles with which they are confronted including great flexibility in the brain, and with this comes
GCSEs, A Levels, or dealing with peer pressure. boundless opportunity, but there is also significant
vulnerability. It seems that both opportunity and
With vast amounts of connections developing at any vulnerability is exasperated further in contemporary
given moment, the teenage brain has a tremendous living, especially when considering technology and
capacity for growth and development. When social media.
encountering something new and emotive, like a
rigorous curriculum or social situations, the teenage As globalisation has unfolded and the world has
brain is able to take a risk. This is through accessing become more connected, the opportunity that
their heightened emotions, whilst simultaneously not is available through the internet, travel, media
connecting this to the decision-making facet of and communication is magnanimous. Messages,
the brain, measuring risk. This potentially results in an promotions, accomplishments, fund-raising, awareness,
emotional launch into a challenge, sometimes against academic pursuits, products, sales, and so on, are
all odds. It is this heightened sense of emotional accessible world-wide with relative ease and with this,
existence, combined with a lack of connection to comes vast space for rapid growth and development
the decision-making faculty which leads teens to be in a range of capacities. Naturally this also comes
higher risk takers. This is part of what gets teenagers so with potential for globalised damage, such as wide-
far, but it can also be the reason for much pain. spread cyber bullying, easy access to ranging
damaging online material and easy access to
Teenagers can often throw themselves whole-

YALLA MAGAZINE 41

dangerous forums and irresponsible answers to questions.
This leaves individuals bought up in this technological era
not only able to have greater opportunity for phenomenal,
extraordinary, widespread success, but also for potentially
enormous, life-changing damage.

With this in mind, we must consider the intrinsic importance
of mental health. It is clear in Judaism that health, and the
value of life, is of the utmost importance and in fact almost
anything should be done in order to safeguard this. Until
recently people considered health to include the physical
functioning of a person, but as society has developed we
have learned that one’s mental state is intrinsic to one’s
health.

An individual’s mental health should be considered in
and of itself, but it is also intertwined with one’s physical
well-being. For example, an eating disorder, which is often
rooted in one’s mental state, significantly impacts one’s
physical well-being. When considering teens we cannot
ignore that about 70% of mental illnesses appear during
the teenage years and early adulthood which include
anxiety, addiction, depression and eating disorders.

When considering ‘teenage hood’ it is of the upmost
importance to bear in mind the heightened vulnerable state
of this phase of life, depicted not only in the neurological
evidence, but also in the stark statistics of mental illnesses.
This vulnerability to mental illness can be understood when
noting the discrepancy between intensified emotions
and slow connection to the decision-making faculty that
considers risk and control in the teenage brain. In fact,
arguably it is the imbalance of risk and control that lies at
the heart of many mental illnesses.

Teenagers are in a phase of life found to be highly emotionally

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charged with more distant connection to regulation So, what can we do? It seems the natural answer is to enhance
of control in the face of risk in decision-making. If we and develop the connections in the teenage brain, especially
imagine a society in which teens have little freedom, between their emotions and the decisions they make. We can
are highly controlled by others, and enjoy wide forum of do this through talking through emotions and discussing what
non-judgemental space for emotional expression, then actions they may motivate, encouraging consideration of an
this may not be much of an issue. However, considering evaluation of the sensibility of those decisions.
teens are raised in a world over which we as adults
have increasingly less control, not just because many of Furthermore, we can prompt thought regarding risk involved
us cannot access technology as well as most of them, in decisions stemming from emotions, as well as evaluation
but also because even if we can, we cannot control of the measure of control that should also be called upon if
where they go in their technological worlds. necessary. Highlighting the potential contrast between feelings
and careful thought, as well as encouraging a connectivity
Furthermore, we have little control over others who act between these will encourage the growth of connections in
as agents in teens’ lives, seemingly from a distance, the teenage brain. It is through these connections between
yet so intimately through their gadgets, which often thoughts and feelings that can help
follow them through every moment of their lives from
dates; socialising, parties, to bed, to the library, to the teens to maximise the potential available to them, whilst at
shops. Finally, there is little space for non-judgemental the same time being cautious of the vulnerabilities they may
expression of the high levels of emotions within their encounter.
social domain, since this is often social media, where
so many others are constantly watching, judging At the heart of this process is open, honest and non-
and are able to comment, compare, like or ignore. judgemental conversation with teenagers, and between
It is all of these features of contemporary living that teenagers; an initiative of which we can and should all
will provide the current teenage generation with take part.
ongoing and enormous scope of opportunity and
growth, but also that leaves them vulnerable in a
range of ways, including to mental health challenges.

43

A HERO

IN OUR MIDST

The indomitable spirit of Lavi Greenspan

- R A B B I S H L O M O FA R H I

“A hero is not someone This magazine centres on the power
extraordinary. the heroes in our lives give to us. It also
A hero is an ordinary speaks about Purim. The word hero
is first used In Greek mythology. Those
person, who does who wore the name were larger than
extraordinary things. life, gods even. That Jewish thought rejects the idea of
other Gods is obvious. But did you know that it also
- RABBI SHLOMO rejects the concept of heroism being the domain of
the extraordinary?
FA R H I
Heroes are everywhere. If you open your eyes. Even
” people who seem weak in one area of their life can
be mighty Giants in another. Echoes of this idea are
found in the teachings of our sages, “Hevey Dan et Kol
Hadam Lkaf Zechut” translates literally as- Judge ‘every‘
person positively. A deeper understanding of the word
‘Kol’ renders as ‘the whole” teaching instead J‘udge the
whole person positively’. Don’t focus on and define
someone by the area in which they are at their most
frail. See the whole person, where their other, admirable
qualities paint a much wider, accurate, impressive
picture.

So heroes are everywhere! Sometimes we can’t see
them because we’re squinting looking for someone in
the distance, obscuring those towering figures right next
to us. The trick is in taking the time and effort to unmask
them.

For today I want to focus in on one such character. He
isn’t someone you’d notice at first glance. Maybe that’s
why Hashem gives us two eyes. So that we learn to take

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