Yalla Issue 4 New Beginnings

MOTHERHOOD

When it comes to
pregnancy and birth,
support is vital to get
through the miraculous,
but challenging, journey.

Motherhood is the most miraculous odyssey that women will experience as they encounter all
that it means to create and nurture new life. Most moms will also agree that it is also life’s most
challenging journey, as they navigate the process of bringing new life into the world. The life-long
route of euphoria and challenges starts with pregnancy, stretching through to birth, and then travels
across the horizon, to meet each unique milestone as it is reached.
We have created a comprehensive feature on motherhood, with brilliant advice and shared insights
from our experts, including two doulas, a midwife, Swiss breathing coach, and a psychologist.
We hope they enlighten, inform and enrich.
The destination of motherhood is the journey itself.
Relish it!

For all the moms

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband
are thinking of “starting a family”.
“We’re taking a survey,” she says, half-joking. “Do you think I should have a baby?”
“It will change your life,” I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
“I know,” she says, “no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous
vacations....”
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I
want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the
physical wounds of childbearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with
an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

MOTHERHOOD

I know... However decisive she may be at the office, she will
I consider warning her that she will never again read second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
a newspaper without asking: “What if that had been
my child?” Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her
that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy,
That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. but she will never feel the same about herself. That her
That when she sees pictures of starving children, she life, now so important, will be of less value to her once
will wonder if anything could be worse than watching she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to
your child die. save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more
years – not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and her children accomplish theirs.
think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming
a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear I want her to know that a Caesarean scar or shiny stretch
protecting her cub. That an urgent call of “Mom!” will marks will become badges of honour. My daughter’s
cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal vase relationship with her husband will change, but not in the
without a moment’s hesitation. way she thinks.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years I wish she could understand how much more you can
she has invested in her career, she will be professionally love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who
derailed by motherhood. never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should
know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons
She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be she would now find very unromantic.
going into an important business meeting and she will
think of her baby’s sweet smell. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel
with women throughout history who have tried to stop
She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to war, prejudice and drunk driving.
keep from running home, just to make sure her baby
is alright. I want my daughter to know that everyday I hope she will understand why I can think rationally
decisions will no longer be routine. about most issues, but become temporarily insane when
I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children’s future.
That a five year old boy’s desire to go to the men’s room
rather than the women’s at McDonald’s will become a I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of
major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture
trays and screaming children, issues of independence for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft
and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste
that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.

My daughter’s quizzical look makes me realise that
tears have formed in my eyes. “You’ll never regret it,” I
finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my
daughter’s hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for
me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble
their way into this most wonderful of callings.

Anonymous

YALLA MAGAZINE 53

Meet Nurse and midwifery training has enabled me to have a
variety of career choices, from hospital and community
the midwifery to genetic counselling – speaking with women
and their families about preconception choices, women’s
midwife health counselling and screening, midwifery lecturing,
and my current role as a research lead working in the
1 : What ro l e d oes a mi d w i f e IVF and immunology unit at Imperial College London.
p l ay in the birth p rocess ?
Being a midwife is more than just delivering babies. 4 : When d o you think it is
A midwife is usually the first and main contact for the
woman during her pregnancy, throughout labour and necessary f or a d octor to be
the early postnatal period. She or he is responsible for
providing holistic care and supporting women to make in the room f or a birth ?
informed choices that are centred on their individual A midwife is an autonomous practitioner and expert in
needs and circumstances. the “normal” birth process. When any deviation occurs,
we liaise with the medical team for the safety of the
2 : What are the cha l l enges o f mother and baby.
being a mi d w i f e in the birth
p rocess ? 5 : H o w d o you think birthing
Midwives have the responsibility of caring for a woman,
her baby and the extended family throughout the birth has a d v ance d in 2 0 1 8 ?
process, acting as an autonomous practitioner, advocate, Many women have immediate access to the Internet
guide and confidante. The challenge is to care for each and a huge amount of information, advice and
family individually and identify their specific needs to media, which can be overwhelming and confusing.
secure the safest delivery and optimal birth experience. Individualised, professional midwifery advice is still vital.
Women now have a choice of birth place – homebirth,
3 : What ha v e been some o f a midwifery led unit, or hospital birth – to be discussed
the high l ights you ha v e to find the most suitable environment for the delivery.
e x p erience d in your career
as a mi d w i f e ? Encouraging women to writing a “birth plan” –
Undoubtedly, the diversity of relationships I have documenting women’s choices and wishes for her
formed throughout my working life, and the privilege delivery – is encouraged and respected; it’s a schema for
of being with women and their families at the most a woman’s care.
intimate and vulnerable time has been a privilege. I have
cared for Arab princesses and their whole entourage Today, women can labour with the knowledge that
taking over entire hospital floors, refugee mothers medication and medical intervention is immediately
delivering their babies as soon as they’ve landed in accessible and available if required. This is a huge
London, and I’ve supported women taking home their progress, yet our role as midwives remains the same –
premature babies to substandard accommodation. to support and educate women to have confidence in
their bodies and ability to birth.

MOTHERHOOD

Labour
a d v ice f rom
the mi d w i f e :

• Have faith in your body and your ability to birth.
• Prepare for the delivery with birth preparation classes,

breathing techniques and relaxation and exercises.
• Compare your labour to a ladder…
• Start at the bottom rung – use the least invasive, most

natural pain relief techniques to start – breathing
techniques, massage, movement, showers.
• Move up the ladder slowly using TENs therapy and
medication as advised.
• Consider epidural and spinal anaesthetic at the top
of the ladder – if you go straight to the top, there is
nowhere further to climb.
• Breathe!

C ontact Sara : sara. barnett @ yahoo. co.uk
Sara Barnett is a senior research midwife managing NIHR research projects for
Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust. Trained at the London Hospital, Whitechapel
and St Mary’s Hospital, Paddington, she has worked across London for 30 years. Sara
is an advocate for women’s health awareness and is involved in community projects,
including mentoring potential nurses and midwives.

MOTHERHOOD

P s y c h o l o g i c al
p o i n te r s
for new mums

• Try to follow your own instincts; ultimately, you know best. There is so much advice out there that it can
be overwhelming.

• Be mindful of your own needs. In order to look after a baby, a mother requires self-care, which includes
sleeping when the baby does. It is perfectly alright for the home to not be in perfect order.

• Take a walk. Being outside lifts one’s mood and allows mother the time and space to breathe.
• Create your own village. It’s always important to have social connections and a community in which

you can share the highs and lows of parenting and the transitions that take place as you enter parenthood.
• Everyone is going to parent differently, based on personal experiences and current circumstances.
• Ultimately, the most important part of early parenting is forming a healthy attachment and bond with your

baby. This requires adapting and learning to manage and accept the paradigm shift within the family unit.
This takes time, so allow it to. Focus on your family and everything will fall into place in time.
• If you are feeling low, anxious or afraid, reach out. It’s important to talk. There are many organisations
supporting issues such a birth trauma and post-natal depression, including the Make Birth Better Campaign.

N o t e : Hannah will be running drop-in groups for mums of babies, infants and toddlers/preschool, from
October, using supportive strategies and providing a space to consider developing with your baby, supporting
positive behaviours, toilet training, and supporting your own mental health.

C ontact Hannah : hannahabrahamse p@ gmai l. com

Hannah Abrahams is an support using the principles of challenges as well supporting the
educational and child psychologist cognitive behavioural therapy as well development of your child’s reading
and is especially interested in working as solution-focused brief therapy and mathematical knowledge. She
with children who have social and and narrative therapy. She also regularly runs training and INSET
communication difficulties, including runs informative and collaborative days for schools on a number of
autism. She has worked with children workshops for parents in order to topics, including supporting and
and young people with a range of provide a platform to discuss the recognising mental health difficulties
needs, including dyslexia, dyscalculia, challenges of parenting and caring for in pupils, supporting children who may
dyspraxia, autistic spectrum condition, children at different developmental experience social and communication
memory and behavioural difficulties, stages, with topics including: difficulties, as well as literacy and
offering a range of therapeutic Supporting and managing behavioural numeracy support.

Mums
& Tums
With CHAZAK

What to expect when you are expecting...

Join Chazak for an all new course and learn
refreshing new approaches and insights to enrich
your experience of birth and motherhood.

STARTING THIS OCTOBER...

Session 1:
What to expect during birth - Doula: Mrs Ora Goldberg

Session 2:
Swiss breathing method technique - Breathing Coach: Mrs Tsippy Krauss

Session 3:
Motherhood - Psychologist: Dr Hannah Abrahams

Session 4:
How to be a great mum – Rabbanit: Ruty David

Jewish Futures Trust For more information please email to [email protected]

T he S w i s s coach
b r eath i n g
o n b i r th

I am 34 years old and I’m a mum of five children: four My course provides a fully comprehensive antenatal
boys and one girl. I was living in Israel when I found out education, including pregnancy and birth info,
I was pregnant with my oldest, who are twins. I went to what to expect in the hospital, choices, pain relief,
birthing classes and tried to prepare for my upcoming interventions, C-sections, etc. On top of that, I
birth at the UCLH back in London. After a very long incorporate the Swiss Method breathing, relaxation,
and complicated pregnancy, a C-section and a five-week positions and exercises, ‘spinning babies’ exercises
stay in the hospital, I promised myself that one day, and rebozo and acupressure for pregnancy and birth.
when I had a little more time on my hands, I would do All these together, I believe, create a unique course to
something to help couples feel less vulnerable and alone empower and enable couples to feel prepared for the
than I had felt, when they are in a medical environment journey ahead, feel calm, in control and ready to take
that can often seem quite inhospitable. any decisions with greater understanding.

It was only after giving birth to my next son, with the For any other big event in our lives – an exam, interview,
help of the epidural, that I knew that I wanted to train etc – a person will make sure they are in possession of
in birthing education to enable couples to know their as much detail and information as they can and prepare
choices, feel empowered and have skills to enable a calm for it emotionally and physically. Birth is the same. The
birth experience. I started training in the Swiss Method more a couple prepares for the birth, the easier it will be
of birth and have since received training in ‘spinning to avoid feeling overwhelmed and traumatised. We have
babies’, mental health first aid, rebozo, acupressure to work in advance with the baby and body to quicken
and other birth info courses. Thank G-d, since then, and smoothen the labour process. Therefore, my classes
I had a wonderful water birth experience when my combine knowledge with techniques to enable my clients
gorgeous daughter was born, and then welcomed my to approach birth with a healthy balance of trust in their
rambunctious son into the world, who couldn’t wait bodies and their ability to safely birth their baby.
until we arrived at hospital and made his appearance
in the car!

I have been teaching for eight years and do occasional
doula work. I have taught hundreds of couples and
followed many of them through their pregnancy and
birth, which is extremely fulfilling and enables greater
understanding and growth as an educator. I thank G-d
every day for having allowed me to enact on my promise
through a profession that is so fulfilling and enjoyable
and gives me the ability to empower and strengthen
each couple I teach.

58 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

MOTHERHOOD

1 : H o w d o you Therefore, I incorporate breathing legs. Pregnancy yoga is also a great
techniques, deep relaxation skills option. To help with fear releasing,
su p p ort cou p l es and positions and exercises into the you first have to identify your
sessions. The breathing techniques, fears… is it the fear of tearing, have
through the birth relaxation and positions I teach you heard too many horror stories
are based on the Swiss Method from friends and colleagues, or is
p rocess ? antenatal education. It was there some other underlying worry
As a couple approaches the last compiled in Switzerland by Ester that you have? Start listening out for
trimester, the excitement and nerves Marilus and is now taught all over those who have had positive birth
start to build. Through my classes, the world. By using the different experiences (there are plenty) and
I try to reassure, work through techniques, we work on calming the read books like Childbirth without Fear
any fears and underlying worries body, keeping control and helping by Grantly Dick-Read. Discuss
that the mum or dad might be the baby stay safe. The techniques your anxieties with your midwife
feeling, and make sure they both enable a mum to stay in tune with or an experienced friend and
feel comfortable in their unique her body and the labour process and talk through them; you could also
roles. Discussion during the sessions are easy to implement and practise listen daily to the ‘fear release’ track
is encouraged to make sure both beforehand. We have unique words from hypnobirthing.
parents are on the same page, and and phrases for the husband to
understand which type of support remember and use if necessary to When it comes to the birth itself,
could be helpful. Knowing that prompt his wife through the birth. I’d recommend preparing your
can ease any tension that could The positions and exercises are one birth space to create a calm peaceful
otherwise crop up during the birth of the key reasons the method is so atmosphere, dimmed lights, relaxing
itself if previously unresolved. successful; they can help ease pain music, comfortable clothing,
Massage, rebozo, relaxation are and speed up the birth process by pleasant scents and loads of extra
some of the comforting ways that a enabling optimal foetal positioning. pillows (especially if you are giving
couple can bond and a woman can birth within the NHS system).
feel supported through pregnancy 3 : What ti p s d o
and birth by her husband. I would also recommend to ‘keep
you ha v e f or ne w calm and give birth’, put aside all
2 : What is the your plans and dreams and work
mothers to he l p with the birth that you are going
S w iss M etho d an d though; that way you will have
ensure a smoother your eye on the goal… a healthy,
ho w d oes it he l p safe mum and baby rather than a
birth ? textbook birth.
mothers ? I believe the key to a calm and
Apart from information about birth, peaceful birth is preparation –
preparing tools and skills that calm physical and emotional.
the body and help maintain control
are crucial. In pregnancy, I would recommend
working on baby positioning and
fear releasing. For positioning, I’d
wear a belly band, try to sit up
straight (pillow behind the back)
rather than slouching in a sofa or
a car seat, and avoid crossing the

YALLA MAGAZINE 59

4 : What ha v e been the MOTHERHOOD

high l ights o f your career “The more a couple

as a birthing coach ? prepares for the
I would say being at the birth of a family member really
moved and inspired me, but it’s when I see the strength birth, the easier it
that some couples possess and draw on though their
birth, that creates the highlights for me as a childbirth will be to avoid
educator. When I teach about birth, I see people’s eyes
light up when we discuss the style of birth they’ve been feeling overwhelmed
dreaming of. I always remind the couples that they
may have to be flexible, which in reality is really hard. and traumatised.”
So, when I had a phone call from a client who was
obviously still on her birth high, I was waiting to hear For me, seeing my couples feeling empowered to work
of the dream birth… and I did! She let me know how with their unique experiences definitely creates the
she and her husband worked on the breathing together highlights in my career.
while exercising in the car park until they were admitted
on the ward. When she did finally have her own room, 5 : H o w d o you w ork together
they worked together calmly and peacefully throughout w ith the mi d w i f e an d d ou l a ?
her 12-hour labour. She was happily reporting that she I am in constant touch with midwives and doulas all
was now recovering… from her C-section!? From her over the world. Firstly, to ensure that I am up to date
amazing attitude, I was not expecting that punch line! with all the latest protocols and ideas, and also to make
But it was her calmness and strength that blew me away. sure there is a flow and continuity of care for my clients
She said when complications set in after 12 hours of so the methods they’ve learnt in my course can be
labouring, she didn’t panic; she had learnt in our classes followed through. I have done courses for doulas and
the only way to keep the baby safe at this point was to go meet up privately with others to enable each couple
in for a C-section – so no disappointment, no guilt, only to have the support they deserve. I encourage open
thanks for her miraculous outcome. discussion and dialogue with midwives throughout
pregnancy and birth to ensure the care that is given is
Another lady came to me for her fourth. She’d had personalised and relevant.
two previous successful epidurals, but was denied one
for her third birth. She panicked through it, felt
completely out of control and traumatised. She was
coming to me just in case she couldn’t have another
epidural. She called me after the birth, saying she’d
never experienced such an uplifting birth experience.
She was calm and in control and the pain didn’t
even seem so overwhelming; she was definitely
recommending my classes to all her friends.

C ontact Tsi p py: tsi p pykraus @ yahooo. co.uk

Tsippy Kraus lives in London, and trained nine years for eight years and has taught hundreds of couples. She
ago under Esther Marilus, learning the Swiss Method started teaching to help empower women to make their own
antenatal education programme. She has since trained with decisions and feel safe and in control through this exciting
Gail Tully, learning the ‘spinning babies’ programme, and and vulnerable time. She draws on personal experiences
has had training in rebozo and acupressure for pregnancy and those of the many women she has taught to create her
and birth. She has been working as an antenatal educator own unique antenatal course. She is married and a mum to
five beautiful children.

T he

dynamic

d o u la d u o

Eight years ago, a combination of friendship, personal birth experiences and a mutual wish to empower women
through information, belief in themselves and connection to Hashem brought about Serene Birthing.

Charlotte Hotter and Ora Goldberg run birthing classes and assist women in labour as doulas, offering support
and techniques for a positive birth experience.

1 : What d oes a d ou l a d o d uring the birth p rocess ?
A doula is present to support the mother and her birthing partner through the preparation for the birth and the
days following the birth of their child. A doula helps a woman to birth in the way that makes her feel most secure,
minimising the need for additional interventions and increasing the efficiency of the birthing process by supporting
the mother to work with her body rather than against it during labour and birthing. She is there to help protect the
birthing mother’s space and bring a sense of calm and safety to the experience.

2 : H o w d o you think birthing to d ay is d i f f erent to w hat it w as
in the p re v ious generation ?
Natural childbirth is more popular in our generation than it was in our parents’ generation. Women are relearning
the skills that our grandmothers and great-grandmothers knew and understood, and are reclaiming their own sense
of control, empowerment and rights to choose in the birthing process.

Also, dads are now considered an important part of the birth. It wasn’t always a given that they would even
be present, and now their presence is a given and, when equipped, they are able to be a valuable support in
the process.

3 : H o w d o you p artner w ith a cou p l e in the birthing p rocess ?
That very much depends on the couple. During the preparation sessions we explore the different types of support
that women and their partners need during the birthing process and decide between us the roles that we will all
play. It’s vital that the couple or the women and her close family members can have intimacy and privacy during
the birth, and our role is to provide whatever support is needed to ensure and protect that.

YALLA MAGAZINE 61

4 : H o w is it bene f icia l to MOTHERHOOD

a cou p l e ?
Having extra support means there is less strain on
anyone to do and be everything. Many times, the
husbands, mothers or sisters present at the birth also
need support, explanation, validation, guidance and
care, and having professional support there can make
the experience more comfortable for everyone involved.

Birth is an immensely powerful shared experience for a
couple, and the more support they have, the more they
are able to share a positive and connecting experience.

5 : What d o you think husban d s 8 : What are the cha l l enges

can d o to assist their w i v es in you f ace as a d ou l a ?
Long and unpredictable hours; learning to live your
the birthing p rocess to he l p life on call; and, of course, medical complications
and negative outcomes for mothers or babies are
them f ee l more su p p orte d ? always difficult, but they are also a part of the job
This depends on the dynamic of the couple. We believe and you have to learn to embrace all of it. I think
there is not a singular approach to birth support, but developing that resilience and being present and
rather, people need to work to their strengths. Every proactive no matter what is going on or how many
couple has different ways of showing and needing love hours you have been on your feet is probably the
and support, and our role is to help translate that into steepest learning curve.
practical application during birth. For some, that is
teaching them physical support techniques; for 9 : H o w is a d ou l a d i f f erent
others it’s more about words of validation and support;
and in other cases, it might be advocacy that is needed. to a mi d w i f e in the l abour
It’s always a very individual process.
A lot of the time a husband can provide a huge amount p rocess ?
of support and comfort just by being calm and present. Midwives are the greatest asset to birthing, and in the
UK, we are incredibly privileged to have midwifery-
6 : What is the cost o f a d ou l a ? based care for women during pregnancy and birth.
Generally between £500 and £1 200, depending I truly believe our midwives are exceptional, and it is
on the experience of the doula. Newly qualified doulas essential that every doula has a good rapport with the
or those in training will sometimes offer lower rates. hospital or birthing centre and the professionals who
In addition, there are community doula gemachs made come to support the birth. We couldn’t do our job
up of wonderful women who provide doula support without them. Their level of medical training and
as a chessed. their focus on the health of the mother and baby is
what allows us to do our job uninterrupted. We can
7 : What ha v e been some o f focus entirely on supporting the women in the birthing
process and this is an immense gift to the profession.
the high l ights o f your career Any midwives who work with me know I am totally
indebted to their skills and the space they create that
so f ar ? allows me to work.
Every birth is a highlight! Seeing new life brought into
the world is the greatest blessing and I couldn’t think
of a greater privilege than to work in this profession.
It never ceases to amaze me how every birth is its own
unique journey. Every soul has its completely unique
process of entering the world.

62 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

“A doula is there to
help protect the
birthing mother’s
space and bring a

sense of calm and
safety to the
experience.”

1 0 : What a d v ice d o you ha v e f or mothers to ensure a more
p eace f u l an d serene birth e x p erience ?
Call us and book in! Spend time preparing yourselves for the birth in a way that resonates with you. Everyone
needs something different; take the time to explore your options and make sure your teaching and birth support is
individualised and resonates with who you are as individuals or as a couple. Have reasonable expectations of birth
partners and work to your strengths...
Stop listening to everyone else’s birth story or watching ‘One born every minute’, and work on creating a positive
headspace. There is no question that your mind plays a big role during birth, so it is certainly worth your time
investing in the right state of mind.

Contact Charlotte : charlottehotter @ gmai l. com
Contact Ora: aromail @yahoo. com

YALLA MAGAZINE 63

Growing up under the

British Raj

In d i a o f o l d

For Ma i s i e
M e y e r , life in the
close-knit Baghdadi
Jewish community
in Calcutta evokes
memories of large
vases of flowers,
bowls of fruit,
and music playing on the gramophone.

My ancestors were Baghdadi Jews and I was born in in India when Britain was a dominant power and all
Calcutta (Kolkata), India, the capital of the British that was Western seemed worthy emulation.
Indian Empire until 1911. Baghdadi Jews are proud
of their rich Babylonian heritage. We trace our roots My paternal grandfather, Kadouri Ezra Abraham Sadka
as far back as 587 BCE, when Nebuchadnezzar, King (we called him Dada), was a descendant of the illustrious
of Babylon, conquered the kingdom of Judah, and Haham Sadka Hussain, who was the Av Beth Din.
transported Jewish captives to Babylon. Sheik Sassoon, Grandmother Farha (Dadi) was the daughter of the
the illustrious leader of the Baghdadi Jewish community renowned Rabbi Ovadia. Her first husband died before
in the late 18th century, had the privilege of being the they had children, so she returned to Baghdad, hoping
Pasha’s chief treasurer, a semi-royal role. In the1820s, to marry her brother-in-law. However, he refused to
Dawud Pasha persecuted his Jewish subjects and take on the obligation of yibum. Faced with the alarming
imprisoned Sheikh Sassoon’s son David, only releasing prospect of returning to India without a husband, she
him after an enormous ransom was paid. The Sassoon considered performing the ritual of chalitza (removing
family fled from Baghdad and in 1830 settled in Bombay the shoe of her husband’s brother and spitting in his
(Mumbai), India, which was a British possession. face in the presence of the elders, which would have
precluded her from marrying any of his brothers).
David Sassoon built a huge commercial empire. He Imagine her surprise when one of them came forward
employed Baghdad Jews and Judea-Arabic was their and said: “Accept me as I am.”
medium of communication. The Sassoon family set up
the infrastructure to preserve Jewish tradition and their In India, Dada traded in French perfume and Limoges
Baghdadi identity in India. The pragmatic Baghdadi crockery and invested in property, which he rented. My
Jews, as far as it was possible, wished to identify with father, Saul Kadoorie was their only child because Dadi
their British rulers in the hope of achieving political had several miscarriages. Daddy married 16-year-old
security and social privilege. After all, they had arrived Seemah Jacob when he was 17 years old, in 1933.

YALLA MAGAZINE 65

Seemah Gloria Jacob (Mummy)
Born Calcutta, 9 March 1917 - Died July 2000

T ra d itions

My family lived in my
paternal grandparents’
house, where we were
brought up to respect our
Baghdadi culture and
traditions. We were proud
to be Jewish and observed
Baghdadi tradition and
rituals enthusiastically.
Living in a country where
idol worship was ubiquitous, we were surrounded by
avodah zara big time! Even today I recite Alenu Leshaba
with great kavana.

Saul Kelly Sadka (Daddy) My Jewish education was, above all, by example. I
have an enduring memory of Dadi and Mummy with
Born Calcutta, 1 Sept 1916 - Died March 1971 a prayer book in their hands. Daddy discussed the
weekly parsha after lunch on Sabbath. It was informal
My maternal grandfather, Yosef Ben Jerusalem Yacob, and enjoyable. A Baghdadi tutor in flowing robes and
was one of the first Baghdadis to work in a British firm fez came to our home. We found him amusing. He
in Calcutta. He married Sarah Jacob (Granny) and taught us individually how to read Hebrew prayers
lived in a luxurious home and had a lavish lifestyle. and, somewhat bizarrely, Torah cantillation (leining).
Granny was highly cultured and fashionable. An art We attended Rabbi Musleah’s Hebrew classes weekly.
teacher came to their home to give her lessons – we
cherish her beautiful oil paintings. She played the piano Dadi’s life revolved around preparations for the cycle
and enjoyed listening to classical music and opera on of Shabbat and festivals. She spoke Judaeo-Arabic,
the gramophone. Grandpa bought his eldest child, my English and Hindi and wore Baghdadi-style clothes –
Uncle Sammy, a car for his 21st birthday. Tragically, long loose gowns and her head covered with a scarf.
he was driving his father during a riot, when a bottle By contrast, my parents and seven siblings spoke only
thrown at the car hit my grandfather’s head and a few Arabic words and wore trendy Western clothes.
eventually killed him. The family was left in strained When Dadi’s brother died, she helped to bring up his
circumstances and was forced to move to a small son and three daughters.
apartment. Although the staff were dismissed,
they insisted on continuing to work without salaries, Dadi spent a considerable part of her day reciting
just their meals. Uncle Sammy, who was a broker, prayers and tehillim. Daddy bought chickens from the
helped Granny to raise his six sisters and brother. shochet in the bazaar, and Dadi supervised salting them
Two of my aunts graduated from university, which was and all the cooking to ensure the food was kosher. She
unusual at that time. checked all vegetables for insects. She prepared wicks
for the teriya, which comprised seven glass receptacles,
each containing wicks that slowly burned in oil.
It was suspended from the ceiling and lit on
Sabbath and festivals.

66 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

In d i a o f o l d

My parents’ wedding:

18 February 1933

Driving in Calcutta was hazardous, with pedestrian
jaywalking. The driver would wave a feather duster
out of the window calling out in Hindi: “If you want
to die, go on the pavement and die.” We spoke Hindi
to our servants. Their quarters were in an outhouse
on the premises. I enjoyed teaching English and sums
to Kookie, the ayah’s daughter, who was a few years
younger than myself. They were very loyal.

My lasting impression of our home in Calcutta is of

large vases of flowers, bowls of fruit, classical and

pop records playing on a gramophone. We had piano

lessons and took it in turns to play the piano. Mummy

was cultured and fashionable. Although she left school

at the age of 15, she was well-informed and a great

I remember our excitement when, before each conversationalist. She was involved in charitable work
and was prominent on the Ladies’ Guild. She was
festival, she would take us to buy dress material.
skilled at cryptic crossword
We chose styles from the puzzles and when she came
to London, she generally
“My Jewish educationlatest Western magazines and completed the cryptic Daily
Telegraph crosswords. She
the tailor came to our home was the president of the
Ladies’ Committee of the
was, above all, byto take our measurements,

producing the dresses in a

example. I have anfew days.

enduring memoryWe enjoyed a privileged, Ohel David Synagogue, in
Golders Green, and was
pampered, leisurely on the British Board of
existence, facilitated by many Deputies. My father was a
high-ranking Free Mason
of Dadi and Mummyservants. Hospitality was and continued to attend
lodges in London.
one of our most distinctive
We were a close-knit
with a prayer bookcharacteristics. There was a community, which is not surprising considering
Baghdadis were monogamous – they only married
continual stream of guests, Baghdadis. It was common for cousins, and uncles and
nieces, to marry. Annual balls, weddings, engagement
in their hands.”among them Hindus, parties and picnics brought the community together.
Social life revolved around our homes, our monumental
Muslims and British, and synagogues and the vibrant Maccabi Club, where we
friends just dropped in. The cook was trained to played basketball, hockey, table tennis and badminton.
prepare Baghdadi cuisine and cater for lavish banquets I won the Bengal State Badminton championship – my
for over 30 guests. Two boys served us at the table, twoclaim to fame!
ayahs (maids) looked after the children. A sweeper came
in twice daily. He squatted on his haunches with a floor
cloth in hand, sidling deftly from one side of the room
to the other. The gardener took diligent care of the
garden. My grandfather had taught our driver how to
drive, and he taught me and my siblings. By the time it
was my turn, he was old and grumpy.

In d i a o f o l d

Saul Kelly Sadka (Daddy)

Born Calcutta, 1 Sept 1916 - Died March 1971

Festi v e memories (sexton) handed us children and grandchildren they
the lulav and etrog have. We don’t count!
We celebrated Sabbath and festivals and we recited
with gusto. Tizku le-shanim rabbot – the blessing. Growing up in a British colony, we
may you merit many years – was the absorbed British culture. We placed
traditional greeting for festivals. Our servants great store on a thorough English
started cleaning education. I am pleased that you
These are some of our minhagim. the house cannot see my blushes when I reveal
immediately that my sisters and I were educated
Distinctive food was associated with after Purim in in St Helen’s Convent boarding
each festival. Most excitingly, before preparation school, run by Roman Catholic
Rosh Hashana, bakers arrived for Pesach. nuns from Belgium, in Kurseong,
carrying large trays on their heads, Walls were a picturesque hill-station at the
with ingredients for scrumptious whitewashed. Daddy, as chairman foothills of the Himalayan Mountain
Baghdadi delicacies, not least, of the Matzah Board, supervised Range. Somewhat incongruously,
baklava. Mummy supervised the the preparation and distribution I was awarded a distinction in
proceedings and we were avid of matzah, particularly to the poor. Catholic scriptures in the Overseas
spectators. The various delicacies We children would help Dadi to Cambridge Examination, equivalent
counted, the bakers took them away examine the rice to ensure there to A-levels. It gave me an insatiable
to bake. I can think of no better way were no other grains. Dadi soaked thirst for learning Jewish scriptures,
to ensure a shana tova u’metuka. raisins to make wine and squeezed which, Baruch Hashem, I shared
dates for halek (charoset), to which we with my husband Benny and our
For Tu B’Shevat, our table was laden added ground walnuts on the Seder three beloved children Deborah,
with a vast assortment of fruit and nights. It was delicious. Exquisite David and Shulie.
nuts. Some boasted they had 100 Limoges crockery was used
varieties, though this is questionable. exclusively for Pesach. The Hagaddah Kurseong had some perks, not
We recited excerpts from Tanach and was recited in Hebrew and Arabic least the breath-taking scenery and
then made brachot before eating the until the early hours of the morning. the salubrious weather – a huge
various species of fruit in a specific Siman tov was the greeting for the contrast to the gruelling Calcutta
order. After the service on Sukkot, birth of a boy; mazel tov for a girl. summers. When Edmund Hillary
we would go to the sukkah adjoining We considered it disrespectful to and Nepalese Tenzing Norgay
the synagogue where the shamash leave soles of shoes facing upwards. first reached the summit of Mount
We picked up and kissed a piece of Everest in1953, I had photographs
bread (the staff of life) when it fell taken with Norgay. When the
on the floor. We were mindful of Chinese invaded Tibet in 1950, the
the evil eye. All sorts of amulets like entourage of the Panchen Lama (a
chamsas (hand-shaped trinkets) were spiritual authority within Tibetan
hung over the baby’s crib to ward off Buddhism) passed our school and
evil spirits. At the Henna party, the the girls lined the road and waved
night before the wedding, a bride’s to him. I was friendly with King
hands were painted with henna, a Mahendra of Nepal’s children,
brownish herb. One bit of advice Bulu and Gita Rana, who were
– don’t ask a Baghdadi how many pupils at our school.

68 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

E x o d us Sadka sisters with the Girl Guide Shield (School Kurseong)
From left: Kathleen, Sarah, Florence, Marianne, Maisie

India gained its independence in 1947, ending British colonial rule in the country.

We noticed the swing of the pendulum to ardent Indian nationalism. It became obligatory to learn how to read
and write Hindi and Bengali in school. I was teacher’s pet because I learnt by rote, and so did better than the
Indian students. Our community dwindled because there were better prospects in Israel, England and America.
I moved to London in 1960, immediately after my BA (English honour’s degree) examination, and easily adapted to
the life here. I had completed a secretarial course in shorthand, typing and bookkeeping in India, which enabled me
to work as a secretary at the Kosher School Meal Service and, later, Boys Town Jerusalem. Most of my friends had
already settled in England and built up a network of Baghdadi Jews. They organised badminton games, picnics
and parties. We attended the Ohel David Synagogue in Golders Green.

My first encounter with an Ashkenazi community was exciting and enriching. I was struck by the faster pace of
life. Not having used public transport in Calcutta’s overcrowded trams and buses, I had great fun using London
transport. Although one of our ayahs accompanied my parents to London, she found the winter unbearable and
returned to India. Mummy’s heroic transition from arranging flowers, playing Mah-jong and giving the servant
instructions, morphed into a superb cook, although she had never set foot in the kitchen in Calcutta. She willingly
took on household chores and continued her charitable work as chairman of the Ladies’ Guild of Ohel David
Synagogue. It was our minhag to have Shabbat dinner and lunch with our parents.

I married Benjamin Meyer. We had lived on the same street in Calcutta, but it was not an arranged marriage.
Benny left to study civil engineering in London. Rabbi Sassoon’s family in Letchworth had a lasting impact on us.
We decided to follow their example.

Now, only a handful of the elderly remain in Calcutta. The synagogues are well maintained with money from
trusts, although there is rarely a minyan. I returned once with Benny, and Deborah and her husband Avram, who
were enraptured with it. We had a very special invitation. Benny’s brother Ellis (my sister Florence was his wife)
had been the foremost barrister and leader of the Calcutta Bar. He retired from India and practised in London.
The High Court in Calcutta closed for a day when
they were informed of his death (which was in 1997).
Astoundingly, about 10 years later, we had an invitation
from one of his former pupils to attend a ceremony for
opening a library in his name. A large portrait of Ellis
was hung on the wall above his seat in the law court,
where it remains. At a banquet, prominent barristers
and politicians delivered speeches about how he had
influenced and helped them.

I am truly blessed with happy memories of my childhood
in an exotic, exciting country, an easy adjustment to life
in England and, not least, the privilege of belonging to
an exceptionally friendly and vibrant Jewish community.

Maisie Meyer was born in Calcutta (Kolkata) and grew up in a colonial setting. She left India after university and moved to
London, where she married Benny Meyer and started a family. Once her children had grown up, she resumed her academic
career and was awarded a scholarship by the British Academy to do a PHD, which enabled her to pioneer the research of the
Baghdadi Jewish community of Shanghai. She wrote two successful books: From the Rivers of Babylon to the Whangpoo: A
Century of Sephardi Jewish Life in Shanghai (2003) and Shanghai’s Baghdadi Jews: A Collection of Biographical Reflections
(2016). She currently lives in Hendon, surrounded by her children and grandchildren.

A spot of

milk,Please…
For Chicago gal M i m i M E Y E R , the transition to life in
London was not always a walk in the park, but there’s
nothing a cup of PG Tips can’t fix!

Growing up in Chicago, whenever I had a stomach I have never looked back.
ache, my mother would make me a cup of tea. Plain
Lipton tea, hot and highly sweetened. I love tea with milk. I drink a few cups a day. I bring PG
Tips with me whenever I go on holiday, just in case all
When I first came to London, a newly married 20-year- they have is Lipton, or other such facsimiles of the real
old, I was aware that the British liked their tea. With thing. My parents laugh and my American friends are
my rare acquaintance with tea, I honestly couldn’t confused. If you are British, you understand.
understand the attraction.
As an American girl, born and bred in Chicago,
In my first week here, I was visiting my husband’s aunt how did I manage the transition?
and I had a slight stomach ache. “Would you like a cup
of tea?” she asked. Familiar territory, the answer to a “Was it difficult?”
stomach ache is a cup of tea. What appeared before “Do you miss America?”
me was a milky mixture that looked nothing like the “How did you settle so quickly?”
medicinal, sweet amber liquid I was expecting. With my
face scrunched up, I hesitatingly took a sip. Of course it was difficult, of course I miss America,
and no, I didn’t really settle so quickly.

70 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

OPI N IO N

I had been to Israel for
a gap year in seminary,
and for some reason, I
gravitated towards the
English girls. I loved their
worldliness and their sense
of humour. It was actually
one of my English friends
who set me up with
my husband.

Although we started our new surroundings. As people from here, there was no FaceTime, Skype
married life in Israel, similar backgrounds always seem or even texting. Communication was
where I finished my to seek each other out, a lot of my sporadic, and if I just wanted to call
bachelor’s degree and my husband new friends were actually other my mom to kvetch or cry or even say
was studying for semicha, when we Americans who settled in London. “hi”, I couldn’t. I had to wait.
came to live in London, I already Most of them did not seem to be
had a one-year-old baby in tow. faring so well. My friends were all getting married.
I was determined to go back to
I was lucky, as my husband, who “Aren’t they so cliquey?” Chicago for my close friends’
comes from London, had a built- “Don’t you miss Target?” weddings. But it was so expensive.
in support network for me as soon “I hate this weather!” How could I go to this one and not
as we moved here. His family took that one? How could I choose? Of
me in as a daughter and sister, and Maybe I felt all those things, but I course they would understand…
his friends’ wives invited us over for didn’t dare voice them. This was but would they?
Shabbat meals. Some of my English my new home. I was determined to
friends from seminary also had make the most of it. Friends. How do you compare
babies, and playdates were arranged. new friends that you’ve just made
As transitions go, it wasn’t all that to your old friends? The ones you
bad. Was it easy? Definitely not. had sleepovers with, the ones you
got into trouble in school with. The
All about attitude What I missed was my family and ones who have known you since you
friends. The time difference to were little, and nothing needs an
Perhaps it was my affinity to the Chicago is six hours. I had to wait explanation, an introduction,
British, or that I maintained a stiff till at least 2pm in order to call or context.
upper lip, and people marvelled at anyone, and even then it was a bad
how well I had acclimatised to my time, because that was the early
morning rush. When I first came

OPI N IO N

How do you start new friendships? All these struggles
happened in the background. So I made an effort. It’s a
little easier when you have children, as your kids’ social
group extends to become your social group. Even today,
20 years later, I am still good friends with my children’s
friends’ parents.

Do I miss the com f orts o f Learning the l ingo
A merica ?
Then there are the schools. I didn’t understand the
I am a proud American. I think most Americans are. school system when I arrived in London, with all these
We are raised to it. We said the Pledge of Allegiance terms that mean nothing to the uninitiated: sixth form,
in school. We sang the national anthem. We went O-levels, A-levels, primary, secondary, public, private,
to baseball games (go Cubs)! We are proud of the comprehensive. It seemed like most Jewish primary
tolerance, democracy and freedoms we are afforded school names revolved around the Chanukah story,
there. I was surprised, when I came here, to see how like Menorah or Hasmonean. I was used to elementary
narrow-mindedly we are thought of by the rest of the school and high school. Public apparently means
world. I’ve also noticed how many English people private. Grades in America go from first grade to
have a very strange ambivalence towards America. twelfth grade. No forms. Yes, we do have funny terms
too, like freshman, sophomore, junior and senior,
“Ooh, I’d love to go there!” but those are the names for the four years of both
(Think Hollywood, New York, Miami Beach) high school and university, so it’s easy to understand
“It’s so violent!” (Think guns, gangs, mass shootings) (for the initiated, at least).
“The people are thick as two planks!”
(Think most presidents, celebrities and people they Why did my children have to start learning to read
know from yeshiva and sem) when they were three? Why do they need to be tested
for everything? Has that helped or hindered my
My view of America has definitely changed as I’ve lived children’s education? I loved my schooling in America.
in London. I’m still proud, but I have a much wider There was pressure and there were tests, but it was also
perspective on how America is perceived by the world, fun. I didn’t have to choose a major at university till I
which you just don’t see while you are living there. was halfway through. Here, my kids have to figure out
what they want to do from the age of 13.
I still miss the 24-hour culture, the ease of buying
kosher food (“What do you mean there’s a list? Where’s It is a different system. Is it better or worse? I don’t
the OU?”), the shopping malls and outlets and sales. know. Again, I don’t complain. I am honestly very
I am not what one would call a JAP (Jewish American happy in London. I have learned so many things from
princess), but I do miss my home comforts. Kosher my move here. It is important to remember that when
Dunkin Donuts open at 3am – who wouldn’t miss that? making any change in your life, it is all about attitude.

72 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

OPI N IO N

I could have been miserable, always looking back

look forward.towhatIwasleavingbehind.InsteadIchoseto
I could have been miserable, always looking back to what
I was leaving behind. Instead I chose to look forward.
There was a genuine feeling of excitement about what
I thought of as an adventure. I wasn’t naive, I knew it
wouldn’t be easy, and that there would be challenges,
but I didn’t let that knowledge hold me back from
embracing what was to come.

I have also realised that sometimes it’s not a bad idea to I love having different stories to tell from both my
break out of your comfort zone. It makes you an active American and English friends. I may miss out on some
participant in your life, not just a passive bystander American experiences while living here, but I have
following the crowd. Don’t get me wrong, I love fitting gained English ones. Do I prefer England over America?
in. Everybody wants to feel that they belong. However, London over Chicago? That, my friends, is a question
being a stranger in a strange land definitely has its perks. for another day. Besides, for all the things that I miss
You find new perspectives, people notice you, and you about America, there are as many things that I would
sometimes need to work harder for what other people miss if I were to move back: Brent Cross, the Tube,
take for granted. That could be why the Jewish people Ocado, Pizaza, the politics, the humour, and of course,
have thrived in the Diaspora throughout the centuries. the PG Tips!
If that’s the case, viva la difference!

Mimi Meyer has a degree in psychology and is a graduate of Michlala Jerusalem College for Women, as well as
the Susi Bradfield Fellowship Programme. She has taught limudei kodesh, community studies, a life skills course, and
psychology enrichment at Hasmonean High School, as well as at LSJS on the Kolot Bat Mitzvah programme. She has
been giving shiurim on various topics to women's groups for over 10 years. She is wife to Rabbi David Meyer (executive
director of PaJeS) and a mother to five wonderful children.

Empowering

Y oung I srae l i w omen

Shira Druion speaks to
K o r y + Y i f at Barda s h about A T A R A ,

a home that assists girls from foster
care to integrate into Israeli society.

74 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

Israel news

1 : When d i d you start A T A R A

an d w hy ? “ATARA means a crown,
Ten years ago, Yifat and I opened our home and and we are figuratively
became foster parents for at-risk youth. Through our cleaning off the dirt and
experiences, we learnt first-hand of the many hardships putting a shiny crown
these youth face as they “age out” of the social welfare on the heads of all our
and foster care system. However, we were unable to
identify an organised programme and comprehensive young women."
solution for Israeli teenagers 18+. Therefore, in 2013,
Yifat founded ATARA – an organisation that tackles the
critical challenges that young adults face as they age out.

These young women spent many years in out-of-home
care arrangements (i.e. homeless, youth facilities,
boarding schools and foster families) until the age of
18. When they turn 18 and despite years of physical
and sexual abuse and severe neglect, they are dropped
in an instant and are forced immediately into fending
for themselves and premature independence, without
any guidance and no resources to assume adult
responsibilities. As they age out, they lose significant
financial, educational and social support that
government agencies and non-profits have provided

a crownupuntilthatpoint.
ATARA’s mission is to ensure and empower young

women make the successful transition to adulthood.

ATARA provides them with a warm home, high school

diploma, vocational training and critical life skills, such
as home economics, women’s health, job readiness and
coaching in healthy relationships and self-esteem – in
order to live successful independent lives and break the

cycle of poverty and abuse. ATARA’s comprehensive
programme was developed to stop the cycle of poverty
and abuse by specifically tackling the most significant

obstacles facing aged-out youth, such as lack of stability
in education, housing, finance and employment – the
leading causes of poverty, abuse and homelessness.

ATARA means a crown, and we are figuratively
cleaning off the dirt and putting a shiny crown on the
heads of all our young women. They are all so special
and we are helping to unleash their inner potential –
often after they have buried it away.

2 : What backgroun d s d o they Israel news

come f rom ? E d ucation an d v ocationa l
There are thousands of youth at risk that ‘age out’ training
of the system each year and we knew we had to start A personally tailored curriculum is set by an experienced
somewhere. We decided to concentrate our efforts on educational staff based on the inclinations and abilities
perhaps the most vulnerable population of religious/ of each participant. Besides receiving a high school
Charedi young women who have been on the receiving diploma, participants attend college preparation classes
end of abuse. These young women are not just poor or as well as vocational training to assist them in earning
from the periphery, but have lived a life of all forms of better wages on completion of the ATARA programme.
abuse and dysfunction, often from the hands of family Participants learn skills, complete with practical business
members. They are not only disconnected from their coaching, and receive trade certification. ATARA
home and community, but they also don’t know the participants are coached in work ethics, behavioural
‘rules of the street’. Due to their sheltered upbringing, norms and general job readiness.
they often fall prey to the most negative and harmful
people out there. Li f e ski l l s
Life skills training is a critical component of the
3 : What is the p rognosis f or programme, because it is the factor that will determine
successful application of their education and a healthy
the gir l s ? home and family life. Participants are taught the
The national statistics for young women who ‘age out’ fundamentals of home economics where they learn to
of social welfare is staggering. balance a budget and prepare healthy meals. They are
• Only 18% have a high school diploma. also advised on the basics of women’s health and values
• Less than 3% go on to higher education. to the running of a home.
• Chronic unemployment due to unmarketable skills.
• Over 40% will experience homelessness within

five years.
• Significantly higher levels of poor health, unwanted

pregnancies and abusive relationships.

Basically, the cycle of poverty and dysfunction continues N ationa l ser v ice :
for another generation.
Vo l unteerism
4 : H o w d o the gir l s bene f it Volunteerism through National Service plays a vital role
in our mission to significantly improve the lives of our
f rom your p rogramme ? participants. ATARA participants typically are exempt
Participants benefit through a fresh chance to start their from this requirement due to their life circumstances;
adult lives with skills, tools and direction. however, ATARA leverages Israel’s national service
We are so proud of all the amazing young women in platform, benefiting society, while boosting the self-
ATARA. We accept those who will be able to succeed confidence and sense of belonging for each participant.
and deal with the rigours of the programme. Not one Benefits:
of the participants of ATARA arrived with a high 1. On-the-job training.
school diploma, despite all going through the system to 2. For the first time, they are the ones giving and not
some degree. All of our participants have completed
their high school requirements, have been through receiving.
vocational training for a marketable profession, received 3. All social, economic and educational benefits for
therapy and learned coping skills, job training and so
many other life skills. Our graduates are all gainfully having completed National Service.
employed, living in safe and clean housing. Eight of our
alumni have married normative, healthy, loving young The goals they achieved while volunteering –
men and are building their own healthy families. responsibility, acceptance of authority, job skill
acquisition, exposure to various professions – help them
to acquire practical experience for future employment.

Israel news

5: How does Israeli Project ATARA was established in partnership with
Ha’Aguda L’Hitnadvut (Israel Volunteers Association)
infrastructure cater for and Telem, an organisation dedicated to helping at risk
high school aged young women from ultra-Orthodox
their needs and how have you (Charedi) backgrounds. Telem provides social and
educational services prior to aging out, from the
a n d Yi f a t f i l l e d i n t h e g a p s ? ages of 14-18.
Unfortunately, despite the overwhelming evidence of the We have also been a recipient of the Maurice &
scope of the problem, the cycle of abuse and poverty Vivienne Wohl Charitable Foundation, which saw in
continues, and taxpayers fund the huge economic ATARA a comprehensive solution to an overlooked
burden. No comprehensive plan exists to treat this and pressing need.
vulnerable section of society.
In Israel, there are many programmes for youth up to
the age of 18. There are also many programmes for
individuals at later stages in their lives, where social
services meet this same population at a later stage, when
they are single parents, unemployed and sometimes in
the criminal justice system.
There are programmes that cater to specific aspects of
our programme, but there is no other comprehensive
programme that combines education, vocational
training and life skills mentoring with integration into
Israeli society.
The need to intervene at this stage, as they age out, is
critical. The extensive research for transitional youth,
particularly on adolescent brain development and
self-identification during the ages of 18-25, make it
incumbent on us to act now.

6 : Wh o h a v e y o u p a r t n e r e d A T A R A G ra d uate on
her w e d d ing d ay
with in helping you to build

the programme?
In addition to our own extensive research and
experience, we consulted with social services,
youth village directors, the Israel Central Bureau of
Statistics and leading researchers and academics to
thoroughly understand the scope and full needs of
those who age out.

YALLA MAGAZINE 77

7 : P l ease share some o f the e x ce p tiona l stories
o f ho w the p rogramme has he l p e d the gir l s
an d ho w they ha v e been ab l e to d o things that
w ou l d not other w ise ha v e been p ossib l e ?
There really are endless stories. Stories that are hard to think about a young girl
having to endure. The teenage girls in the ATARA programme have gone through
many challenging experiences in their lives, such as trauma, loss, and rejection.
These experiences have left a mark on these young women’s spirits, from feelings
of depression and anxiety to behavioural problems.

One young lady (‘Shira’) came to ATARA from Bnei Brak. She is the youngest of
11 children whose father was abusive and didn’t work. Her mother was severely ill
with lung cancer. Her twin brother committed suicide and another brother would
steal what little they had to feed a drug problem. Another level of complication is that
they belonged to an extreme religious group that mandated all girls dress excessively
modestly and didn’t allow for much self-expression.

Shira is an amazing young woman who is highly intelligent and very creative.
She arrived at ATARA very withdrawn and shy, but with an inner determination
to make a life for herself. She completed two years of National Service in a hospital,
earning the highest accolades and achievements. She completed her high school
diploma and two years of psychological therapy. She was accepted to a leading
nursing programme, and loves painting in her free time.

At the ATARA graduation, Shira stood up in front of a large room and declared that
before she came to ATARA, she had no dreams. She couldn’t imagine that she could live
a life of fulfilment and joy. She couldn’t allow herself the delusion that anything would
change in her life. With tears in her eyes, she thanked Yifat and everyone at ATARA for
enabling her to dream once again.

8 : Do you think I srae l is e v o l v ing in her socia l
care , so at risk gir l s can be he l p e d by socia l
w e l f are p rogrammes ?
Yifat is a Technion graduate and has run several Israeli companies. She is the
perfect person to tackle this issue. She has spent the last few years lobbying various
municipalities and Knesset members on the importance of funding this population,
and we are beginning to see a recognition of the need for additional funding for this
age group, from a business perspective and not just a moral one.

In comparison with their peers, aged out youth are, on average, less likely to have a
high school diploma or matriculation, less likely to pursue higher education, less likely
to earn a living wage, more likely to experience economic hardships, more likely to
have a child outside of wedlock, and more likely to become involved with the criminal
justice system. These are important long-term cost consequences that affect all Israelis.

78 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

Israel news

There is overwhelming evidence based on highly regarded studies that project, on
average, taxpayers and donors pay $300 000 in social costs (“the cost of doing nothing”)
over their working lifetime (till the age of 55) of every young person who ages out of
the system unsuccessfully. Social costs are taxpayer funded expenses, such as public
assistance and incarceration, as well as costs absorbed by the community, such as wages
lost as a result of a lack of high school diploma and resulting employability.
From a cost avoidance perspective, ATARA’S two-year programme offers an effective
strategy for helping society avoid many of these costs. With intensive education and
life skills mentoring, participants in ATARA will become productive and add to the
country’s GNP, as opposed to becoming a drain on society’s resources.

9 : What are you an d Y i f at p assionate about ?
Although Yifat is a seventh generation Jerusalemite and I made aliyah 22 years ago from
the US, we share common values and come from families that are proud Jews, cherish
education, and seek to serve and strengthen Am Yisrael. We are passionate about family
and our amazing five biological kids. We are also focused on leading inspired and
meaningful lives. We love travelling, hiking and playing all sports. And, of course, we are
completely passionate about improving individual lives and impacting the whole society
in Israel through ATARA.

Working in S hare
T ze d ek

Yifat Bardash, director of ATARA, has nearly 25 years’ experience Kory Bardash has worked at leading
in corporate management and served as CEO of a non-profit organisation financial institutions throughout his career,
engaged in education for young adults. She has developed a strong reputation including Goldman Sachs. He currently
for initiating innovative programming, managing projects and staff and financial co-leads the Israeli operation of Wealth
planning. Yifat is a sought-after consultant to various organisations in the fields Management for Israel’s leading Multifamily
of process improvement and implementation of strategy and marketing. Yifat Office. Kory made aliyah from the US 23
holds an industrial engineering degree from the Technion. years ago.

W omen

in the workplace

Gender parity cannot be achieved alone
and in silence. Both men and women need

to participate in this dialogue –
loud and clear.

Ca n d i c e S h u l m a n

It’s not front page news when we say that In this way, we are not asking the individual
many cultural forces continue to stand in to adjust to the corporate world, but
the way of female inclusion in organisations. rather, we are asking the culture to open
From gender bias to the impact of to the individual. Celebrating women’s
motherhood on career progression – achievements is nice and all, but how do
the gender gap in business persists and we actively promote a more open, fair
the effects of this are becoming an and safe culture at work?
increasing cause for concern.
Di v ersity w ithout
For inclusion efforts to be truly effective, inc l usion is not goo d
differences need to be features of the enough
workplace instead of problems to deal with.

W OME N A T W OR K

There is a lot of exceptional female talent that is being neglected by society’s
expectations of what a business culture should look like. According to the Women in the
Workplace study (2017), women remain significantly underrepresented in the corporate
pipeline. At every subsequent step, the representation of women declines even further,
with women of colour facing a dramatic drop-off at senior levels. The result of this is
that one in five C-suite leaders is a woman, and fewer than one in 30 is a woman of
colour. This model of leadership is clearly not sustainable in an age where it is proven
that inclusive organisations are six times more likely to be innovative and agile.

It’s all very well understanding that diversity has benefits – the greater challenge is
strategically working to actualise these great sounding ideas. To help address this
underrepresentation of women and minorities, it is essential that organisations
continuously question the data – but from the top. By identifying representation gaps,
it is within leadership’s gift to help shift the organisational mind-set to finding the
right skills for that specific role, instead of simply focusing on years of experience.
Beyond this, those leaders who fail to align these efforts with their personal values, and
believe in the business case for diversity and inclusion, will not be able to take personal
responsibility for this change. The bottom line? It’s not just about the bottom line – it’s
about addressing gender parity as a societal issue, not just a business issue.

A n o p en d ia l ogue

With the demand for talent rising, developing people is a top priority for leadership, 81
which sets and maintains the standards for the quality of employee performance and
company culture. In order for organisations to succeed in leveraging inclusion in the
workplace, more leaders need to be asking the difficult question: “Where is female
inclusion in this conversation?”

YALLA MAGAZINE

W OME N A T W OR K

When more women have a seat at the head of the

table, they do more than increase the talent pool at

the top of the organisation – they send a sign that

developing women as leaders is fundamental to the Working with SMEs in the tech space, I can vouch

organisation’s success. for this discrepancy and further emphasise the

urgent responsibility men have when it comes to

The data speaks for itself when highlighting the actively listening to and engaging with their female

different perspectives of gender equality. The numbers counterparts. While arrangements around maternity

are alarming, with 39% of women believing their leave, flexible working hours and mentoring can be

gender will make it harder to get ahead, while a put in place to encourage more women to work in

small portion – only 15% of men – experiencing this technology, the reality is that wider cultural changes

challenge. Nearly 50% of men think women are well are critical.

represented in leadership “It’s safe to say men Women’s contributions
in companies, when the

reality is that only one are more likely to need to be valued and their

in 10 senior leaders is a voices encouraged
woman. It’s safe to say by their male counterparts.

men are more likely to believe the workplace is In today’s day and age,
believe the workplace is the new generation of tech

equitable, while women equitable while women leaders needs to create
see it as less fair, offering new opportunities and

less support. The above see it as less fair, think critically about how
only reinforces that we to fundamentally change

cannot achieve gender this culture to avoid the
countless life-changing
offering less support.”parity alone and in silence.

Women need men’s active innovations that could be

participation in this dialogue in order to make any failing to reach the marketplace. I say, start with your

real difference. female talent pool.

N ot so tech sa v v y S o f tness l ooks great on you

There remains an embedded gender bias in the funding Getting more women in executive positions is self-
of start-ups. The stats are scary when they highlight perpetuating; but according to Sheryl Sandberg,
that in the UK alone, men are 59% more likely to Facebook’s COO, women still fear appearing too
secure angel investment and 86% more likely to be ambitious at work because this determination is
VC-funded in digital start-ups than women. This identified as bossy. One of the most important
reflects the obvious imbalance in venture firms. reasons companies should be integrating women
into more senior positions is based on the unique
perspective they bring to the workplace. As an
organisation existing primarily of women, my
company surveyed the team’s perspectives on
working in a female-driven environment.

82 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

W OME N A T W OR K

From the thinkers and feelers, to the rationalists and Looking ( w ay ) beyon d gen d er
strategists – the results were swinging in women’s favour
when it came to agreeing that each brought a dynamic The case for the empowerment of women goes
contribution to the table. Being able to fully appreciate beyond the need for greater gender equality. It is about
our team’s unique (and often contrasting) attributes and leveraging the talent, creativity, emotional intelligence
skills, means we need to seek to understand, not define. and capabilities that women possess in order to build
This involves spending a great deal of effort learning a better and brighter future for everyone – men and
more about each other and the reasons behind one women alike. To commit to growing and competing
another’s thinking – in other words, developing our in today’s dynamic marketplace, organisations must
empathic ability. accept and nurture the diverse experiences and
perspectives of every employee.
As a result, we have become pretty good at questioning
how our differences contribute to our greater mission. This requires leadership to become stronger catalysts
When we fail to consider the specific ways people for change and inclusion across the entire organisation.
interpret and react to their environment, we never It also requires men to be at the forefront of this
fully learn the lessons that come as a result of expanding initiative. What our society needs is to value women
our worldview. and their role as much as men – not to make them take
on the same parts. This will be key to ensure our human
This acceptance and sensitivity toward the other resources – our employees, women and men alike – are
has helped shape a culture of equality as opposed to not only surviving, but thriving.
competition, where everyone has the same opportunity
for growth – all in support of creating a culture of As a male, how are you promoting a culture of inclusion
openness, as well as hard work. The long and short is to empower women in your workplace?
this: when women see other women achieve excellence,
they become role models for change, and those females
following in their footsteps envision themselves achieving
the same.

Candice Shulman is the Founder of HR360 Ltd, a Talent and
Leadership Development Consultancy that helps create and sustain
an organisation’s ultimate employee experience. Candice’s
interventions are holistically focused, and hold space for both the
employees personal and professional needs at every touch point.
She is a passionate advocate of a more integrative and connected
workplace, and approaches all client relationships from an emotional,
agility, spiritual, physical and mental point of view.

Rabbi, I don’t believe in

How to
navigate the
road map of

the soul.

Rabbi
Moshe Levy

A few years ago, a student at my judged again on Yom Kippur. After I explained to her the following:
Rosh Hashanah table looked at me a whole day in shul, when we get imagine you get caught speeding,
and said: “I don’t understand how to Neilah, we hear that now is the at over 100 miles an hour, by the
it all works… Why do we need to final judgment, and the past 40 police, and the officer tells you that
be judged on the first day of Rosh days come down to this moment. your licence might be suspended,
Hashanah and then again on the But over Sukkot, there are many and he gives you a massive fine.
second day of Rosh Hashanah?” commentaries that say we even You try and talk your way out of the
have until the last day of Sukkot ticket. You tell the officer that he is
She persisted: “We then have a (known as Hoshana Rabba) to doing a great job and that you are a
week that we need to be on our receive final judgment. loyal citizen who does so much for
best behaviour and then we get So, Rabbi, which one is it?” the community.

S p i r i t ual i t y

Judgment

Da y

You hope that by doing so, the best-case scenario is that he will not give you a ticket,
and the worst case is that he will reduce the fine so you can keep your licence.

On the first day of Rosh Hashanah, we get pulled over and judged. On the second
day, the Kabbalists explain, Hashem moves from the throne of justice to the throne
of mercy. We come to shul and we laud Hashem with praise for his Kingship over
the whole world. We express how we cannot wait until the whole world realises that
He runs the show, and that we want to be good Jews and represent Him by helping
the community and by being a light unto the nations. Our ticket, mercifully, gets
reduced, but we still need to go to court, and so the big court date is scheduled for
the following week.

After you get your ticket, you have a week to plan your appeal to the judge. So, you
find out what the judge is like and what he likely wants to hear you say so that he will
let you off. You find out that he wants people to show how they have learned from their mistakes and that
they have taken steps to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. You come to court looking smart and
clean and you tell the judge that you really regret making your mistake, and that you realise the potentially
serious repercussions. You admit sincere regret and display the resolve never to speed excessively again.
You even enrol in a special safety awareness course. You know that if the judge says no, you can still appeal a
gain, but the chances of getting a guilty verdict overturned are very slim unless you have new evidence.

YALLA MAGAZINE 85

On Yom Kippur, we stand in front of the Judge. S p i r i t ual i t y
We know that we can always appeal again and get
our verdict overturned on Hoshana Rabba if the new
evidence brought is compelling enough, but that the
chances are slim.

Yom Kippur is our real chance to get a clean outcome
and a year of health and happiness. We had a week
since Rosh Hashanah to prove that we acted carefully
and to prepare what we would say to the Judge. The
whole day we plead our case and at Neilah, we utter the
closing argument before the judge brings down the final
judgment.

We find out, astonishingly, that Hashem, our Judge,
just wants us to admit that we have sinned, to repent,
and then He lets us off. That is the kindness of our
Father in Heaven on Yom Kippur.

C on f essions o f a sinner

The question is: why do we have to admit that we I think the answer is that when we start to confess
are wrong and that we have sinned before Hashem over and over, it should get us to start thinking, ‘I have
will pardons us? What is the power of Viduy, a problem that needs to be fixed’. In rehab, for any
the confession that we say so many times over addiction – be it gambling, drinking, drugs or food – the
Yom Kippur really all about? first step is admitting there is a problem that needs to
be addressed. If we don’t admit there is a problem, we
The Sha’arei Teshuva explains Viduy’s importance with cannot begin the road to recovery and repentance.
a parable found in the Midrash (Kohelet 7:32): There
once was a group of prisoners in a maximum-security We are all prisoners in one way or another to our
prison, where conditions were terrible. They were forced temptations and desires, and it is this that causes us to
to do slave labour; they were tortured and tormented by live in a world of spiritual darkness. Then we see the
their jailers. Over time they decided they had to escape, tunnel of light, the tunnel of Yom Kippur that can help
so they dug a tunnel that would lead them out of the to free us from who we are and should be. We refrain
jail. The night came when they all crawled through the from eating or drinking and say that we are no longer
tunnel, escaping to freedom. All except for one prisoner slaves to our physical body.
who did not join them. The next morning, when the
jailbreak was discovered, the guards discovered the
one prisoner who had remained behind. Furious, they
beat the hapless prisoner to a pulp, all the while yelling
at him: “It wasn’t bad enough for you here? If you
had suffered then you would have looked for the first
opportunity to escape! The fact that you stayed behind
means the conditions here weren’t appalling enough for
you! You don’t even realise that there is a problem.
We aim to correct that, starting right now!”

86 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

S p i r i t ual i t y

“Over the high holy days, we return to the road
map of the soul, which will allow us to travel back

to our essence and reconnect back to what it
means to be in the army of G-d.”

When one says the words: “I have sinned,” he is When Hashem sees this sincere move towards us
externalising the sin, proclaiming: “It’s not me. It’s not wanting to do His will and to live a holy existence,
my essence. It’s external to who I am. My essence is my He says: ‘I want this person on my team, and of course,
G-dly soul that wishes to cleave to G-d! The sins that I I want them to be healthy and happy or they will be
commit are not who I am!” The verbalisation of them unable to represent me to the best of their abilities.
allows them to be purged from our souls so that we I don’t want them to be busy with financial or health
isolate them from the pure and unadulterated part of issues or they won’t have the head space to connect to
our souls. me properly.’

When we stop and think about our essence, what we Over the high holy days, we return to the road map of
are all about and where we are going with our lives, the soul, which will allow us to travel back to our essence
we will rebuke ourselves for ever having given into our and allow us to reconnect back to what it means to be in
temptations. It will disgust us that we were speeding army of G-d.
through life with no thought of where we were going. It
is this realisation that then compels us to resolve to do
good for the community and to do more mitzvot and get
close to G-d.

RaBBI MOSHE LEVY

LIFE AF T ER lo

Dealing with the debilitating
nature of grief and managing

the process of moving

forward.

D r A v i ta l P e ar l m a n

“The idea of a shiva week – where the bereaved
are surrounded by loved ones for prayers and comfort –
can enable those in mourning to survive the fog of loss

and loneliness.”

G r i e v i ng

ossAs human beings, we exist by creating attachments and There is no right or wrong way to grieve in
bonds to those around us. This process begins in utero circumstances such as these. Perhaps making it
and continues throughout the trajectory of our lives. through the day is enough in the early days.
These bonds are vital and not only help us with our
physical well-being, but also with our emotional and Many religions offer an incredible structure during times
psychological well-being. of mourning. Within Judaism, the idea of a shiva week
– where the bereaved are surrounded by loved ones for
We hope that we create strong relationships in all prayers and comfort – can enable those in mourning
spheres – familial, friendship and romantic – and we to survive the fog of loss and loneliness. It means not
hope to fall in love. We wish for these feelings of love having to face the initial trauma of the loss alone, or
to last forever, and we are aware they can leave us carrying out daily tasks such as cooking and cleaning.
devastated if we lose the person with whom this love I also believe the breaking down of the year of
and connection is shared. mourning into segments, with protocol around what
to do during these time periods, lends structure to the
Grief and loss can manifest in many forms, and I process of grief, and the stone-setting (unveiling) at the
am careful not to exclude hidden losses, such as a end of the year marks the passage of time, offering
miscarriage or what may seem like a never-ending permission to move forward.
journey to conceive. When we think of loss, I suppose
we all somehow hope it is the loss of an elderly parent Fi v e stages
or grandparent who has lived a full life, and perhaps
this is an end to their suffering, so we can put it where From a psychological perspective, I refer to the ‘Five
it is supposed to fit in the circle of life. Stages of Grief ’ by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. This model
breaks down the cycle of grief into stages that people
T raumatic l oss tend to experience in the face of loss. The stages
include: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and
All losses are traumatic, but it is the unexpected deaths acceptance. There is a misconception that these stages
– those that defy the ‘natural order’ of life – that seem happen in a linear fashion, and while this is possible,
more harrowing. it is more likely that people bounce between the stages
and can get stuck in a particular state if the processing
It’s the loss of a baby during pregnancy or infancy; of their loss renders them unable to continue. The hope
the loss of a child; a parent during childhood or young is that people reach a state of acceptance, but owing to
adulthood; or the loss of a beloved friend. It frequently the complexity of the trauma or relationship, this is not
occurs when we are not yet finished imagining our lives always the case. The stages of grief are protective, so
with the person who has died, and there is often no while they seem to be mainly negative emotional states,
warning of an ending. In these cases, there is not only they occur for a reason.
a mourning for the person that was, but also for who
they might have been and the dreams of milestones Denial is a necessary stage, as our brains take time to
and moments that should have been shared. process information and we must protect ourselves from
the full force of the realisation that a loved one has
died. Anger is also crucial, as it allows for a structure –
perhaps anger at doctors, family or friends.

YALLA MAGAZINE 89

Anger provides somewhere for feelings to go, and is G r i e v i ng
likely to be a state that people flip in and out of during
the grieving process, as there might be triggers along
the journey of mourning that will reignite the anger.
It is so important to allow oneself to feel angry, and for
those around the bereaved to acknowledge that it is a
valid feeling.

Bargaining often goes hand-in-hand with feelings of It might be about creating new relationships or finding it
guilt, that there was something that could have been is possible to ‘live’ again. It does not mean the loved one
done differently. There is a wish to go back in time and is forgotten, but that new connections can be made.
find the moment that might have changed the outcome.
Perhaps it’s a stepping stone to help oneself come to It is hoped that those who have lost a loved one can find
terms with the reality of the loss and pain, and the a pathway to acceptance. Where it is more complex, the
realisation that, sadly, the past cannot be altered. As grieving process can get stuck. Sometimes the bereaved
this realisation occurs, depression usually follows. won’t notice that they aren’t okay. And while some level
of depression is appropriate when grieving, for some it
N e w norma l will seem impossible to move out of this state.

There is the fear that this isn’t ‘normal’; however, it is an If you notice a bereaved person who is isolating herself,
appropriate response to the realisation of the permanence feels hopeless, isn’t able to look after herself properly
of loss. This is where friends and family can be invaluable. or feels unable to keep herself safe, it is important to
It is important to acknowledge the distress of others. step in. It might be that having a good friend or family
I think our natural instinct is to want to take away the member to talk to will be enough to help her feel
pain, which, of course, we cannot do. But, we can offer less alone, but it might be that she will need support
a space to talk about the loved one or reassure people they from her GP or a specialist bereavement counsellor.
aren’t alone, and that time can help people adapt to the Sometimes it can feel like nothing will ever be okay
new reality. again, and while no one can change the past, there are
ways to support people to begin to build a different
There is a saying that ‘time heals all wounds’, but this life; not the one they imagined, but an alternative
is complex where loss is involved. Sadly, where the loss reality that is allowed to hold moments of joy, coupled
feels outside of the ‘natural order’, time cannot heal in with memories and an understanding that they have
the same way, as there will be constant reminders of experienced a loss that has shaped their lives differently
where the loved one isn’t present. This is not to say our to those around them.
minds don’t allow us respite from the grief. The brain
creates new neural pathways that reduce the pain of the There are many organisations that support people who
moments one expects to see the loved one, as different are grieving. It is important to feel supported and know
habits are formed and there is a sort of ‘new normal’. there are others who have had similar experiences.
This is particularly important to remember, as one always These groups provide hope that the pain will slowly
wants to see people free from pain and ‘moving on’, so subside, leaving a pathway for life to continue. For
they can try avoid the realisation that the grief will remain resources and support, visit www.mind.org.uk. For
to some extent. People can enter in and out of grief states children, www.griefencounter.org.uk offers tools and
throughout their lives, often around transitional periods. access to specialist counsellors for those who have
lost a parent, sibling, friend or primary caregiver.
The ‘final’ stage of grief is acceptance. It is often
characterised by finding moments that make you It is always okay to ask for help! So often, it is too much
laugh or smile, and working through the feelings to manage alone.
of guilt that might be associated with finding small
pleasures in life again.

90 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

Helpful advice for young people
who have experienced a loss

01. Write down your feelings or thoughts on paper, then scrunch it up and throw it away.

02. Keep a diary where you can write down anything that comes to you – thoughts, poems and lyrics.

03. Talk to people who understand how you feel, and to those who knew the person who has died.

04. Put things or feelings away safely sometimes, so you can take them out at another time.

05. It is okay to feel sad, angry, scared or to cry. It’s also okay to feel happy and enjoy things.

06. Visiting the grave of the person who has died may make you feel closer to the person you have lost.

07. Talk to the person you have lost, either out loud or in your head.

08. It's okay not to think about death and loss all of the time, specifically the person you have lost.

09. Think about happy and special times with that person, and feel glad to have had them in your life.

10. Ask someone close to you for a cuddle. .

11. Let a trusted adult know if you’re worried about how you are feeling.

They can try to help you or find you the right support.

Dr Avital Pearlman is a clinical psychologist and is loss of a loved one, OCD and eating-related difficulties.
registered with the Health and Care Professions Council. Avital works individually and together with parents in order
She has worked in child and adolescent, family and to support both the individual and systemic change. She
perinatal settings for the past 10 years. She has a particular supports individuals and families in finding strength and
interest in supporting adolescents through the difficulties resilience that can be used in managing challenges.
that can arise during the transition from childhood to young
adulthood. This includes managing anxiety, low mood, the

Chronicling
T HE LIFE OF A
GI A NT
MARAN, an insightful volume
from Yehuda Azoulay’s
Sephardic Legacy Series,
takes a deep, rich, and exhaustive
look into the life and influence of
Hacham Ovadia Yosef.

92 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

Speaking at the Inauguration Hacham Ovadia Yosef Family portrait of the Ovadia family Hacham Ovadia and Hacham Ben
ceremony in the Rabbi Yochanan observing an Etrog. taken in 1924. Hacham Ovadia is Tzion Abba Shaul (far right) being
Ben Zakai Synagogue in the the boy on the top left. escorted from Panama Airport.
Old City of Jerusalem.

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who arrived over the course of the next 20 years, and onward, to marry

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YALLA MAGAZINE 93

Learning in the hospital.

The young Rabbi Ovadia Yosef giving a shiur in the Shaul Maran with his father-in-law, Hacham Hacham Ovadia giving hizuk to
Tzadkah Synagogue in Bet Yisrael, Jerusalem neighborhood. Avraham Phatal. Israeli soldiers.

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among many hundreds, is his ruling that although it is best for a man H[SHFWLQJ KLP WR FRPH WR PH ´

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Hacham Ovadia was committed to enhancing religious observance Torah understanding to the masses.

among the masses, rather than allowing it to remain the exclusive For the majority of his 93 years, Hacham Ovadia Yosef successfully

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understand what they are reciting. The need to lovingly reach out to “What stuck out for me,” says Azoulay, “are his original thoughts, and

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7RUDK RQ 6KDEEDW PHQ ZKR ZHUH QRW 6KDEEDW REVHUYDQW DV ORQJ DV 7KRVH ZKR SLFN XS Maran – The life and Scholarship of Hacham

seven observant men were called, as well). Ovadia Yosef ZLOO ¿QG LW GLI¿FXOW WR SXW GRZQ ± DQG ZLOO EHJLQ WR

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arose with the advent of advances in medicine and technology. Among Torah leaders in Jewish history.

94 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

A JOURNEY
NEVER TO BE
FORGOTTEN

3 Life-changing
Days in Poland

With JRoots Director, Tzvi Sperber &
Chazak Director, Rabbi Moshe Levy

This powerful experience includes:

Warsaw, including the cemetery, the story of
Warsaw Ghetto and the new Jewish Museum; Lublin;
Majdanek, Lizhensk, Krakow, Schindler’s Factory and
Auschwitz-Birkenau.*

14th-16th October 2018

£649 based on double room occupancy

(Including flights)

For more information or to book your place
on this historic journey, contact:
Rabbi Moshe Levy - 07816595550 - [email protected]

*Itinerary subject to change.

Inspiring Jewish Journeys

Poland,L essons
from
the
ashes

A moving perspective from
the Chazak trip to Poland.

Rabbi Moshe Levy

RabbiHeritage Moshe Levy

Words cannot begin to express a trip to Poland. How can one describe the emotional roller-coaster of
cramming 700 years of life and five terrible years of murder into three days?

On one hand, I got to see the beauty of a world that was, a world that is so different to anything I can
begin to imagine. Understanding Jewish life on so many levels. Seeing magnificent shuls and hearing the
stories of the people that once filled them. Learning about the foundations of chassidut and how even the
simplest person, who could not read or write, was able to feel part of something so big and so special.
Learning new tunes that have no words but speak the language of the soul.
Hearing about so many exceptional people who gave so much to Polish life,
and also to the world at large.

On the other hand, although we have all heard stories of the Shoah,
seeing is believing. When standing in a gas chamber or in front of a
crematorium, the emotions that I felt and thoughts that I thought were
more real than in any other place I have ever been. Over the course of
the trip, people start to really ask themselves questions… What would I
have done in that situation? Would I give my little bit of food to save the
life of a stranger? Would I risk my life and the life of my children to help
another person?

We often hear the number six million, but it is really one person six million
times. They say that if we had a minute of silence for each and every Jew
who was murdered in the Holocaust, we would have silence for over 11 years.
Each and every person had their own story and experience. Each and every
person reacted differently in their own unique situation. A parent of small
children did not have the luxury of one with teenagers. Grandparents had it
more challenging in many ways. What do you do all day in a crowded ghetto
when you have no job? How do you keep children occupied when there are no
schools? How do you stay healthy when you have 70 to 100 people living in a
house, many of which have typhus or other contagious diseases? What do you
take with you when you can only take one small suitcase? What do you say to a
loved one knowing it might be the last time you see them?

We often go on trips all over the world and see many unique things, but on a trip to Poland, you not only see, you
gain a real perspective.

When returning from a trip to Poland, you come back with a renewed appreciation for life, for family and for what
it means to live as a Jew.

In my humble opinion it is incumbent on every single person and, of course, every single Jew to go and experience
this thought-provoking and life-changing journey.

YALLA MAGAZINE 97

Anne Baruch H e r i t ag e

Nothing could quite prepare me for the turmoil of destruction to Jewish life is incomprehensible. We
of emotions felt and the thought-provoking trip were moved to tears by sad stories of individuals who
experienced, during the Chazak visit to Poland. lost everything: their belongings; their families; their
With the knowledge of our excellent tour guide, dignity; their individuality – standing by the bunkers of
Zak, and supplemented of course by the wonderful
moving stories from Rabbi Moshe Levy, we became
a group united by our shared experiences and a sense
of connection to our Jewish ancestors. We were
saddened and shocked at what was, yet felt pride
and hope for our Jewish continuity and future.

In a peaceful setting of a mystical forest, we began by
trying to connect to our Jewish past in pre-war Poland
by visiting the Warsaw Jewish Cemetery. There were
more than 250 000 magnificent monuments and grave
sites, where we heard poignant tales of centuries of
Jewish life: artists, scholars, actors, philanthropists, all
who formed part of a once vibrant urban community.

Later, visiting the Polin Museum, we reflected more on
the 1 000 years of Polish Jewish life.

While standing in front of remnants of the walls of the the Camps, it all felt very real. The chilling cold of -16
Warsaw Ghetto, we listened to stories about the half-a- degrees crept through to our bones, reflecting the icy
million Jews crammed here, dealing with hunger, disease cold atmosphere of what had occurred here less than
and Nazi brutality, and then the bravery of those Jews eight decades ago.
who fought to the death in the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising,
refusing to surrender to the Nazis.

Our stay in Lublin, at what was once the world’s largest There were so many other places of interest,
Yeshiva, opened by Rabbi Meir Shapiro in 1930, from visiting the tomb of Rabbi Elimelech (one of
gave us a sense of the spirituality and learning that once the founders of Chassidic movement); eating cholent
occurred there. Singing and dancing in the synagogue and kugel nearby in the home of a Jewish couple who
the next morning instilled this and elevated us to our welcome Jews from around the world; and walking
present-day Jewish spirituality. around the old Jewish quarter of Krakow, visiting the
17th century synagogue and getting a taste of times
Our sombre visits to Majdanek and Auschwitz-Birkenau that once were… a time in history not to be forgotten,
left images that will never be wiped away, and the scale and a trip to be remembered forever.

98 Y A L L A M A G A Z I N E

H e r i t ag e

Jeremy Kanzan

I faced my trip to Poland with great trepidation. For years I’ve delayed the journey I
knew I had an obligation to make. So when my favourite person, Rabbi Moshe Levy,
announced a new trip, I knew I was going to join. Enough with the excuses, the stars
had aligned.

I stepped off the plane, my body acknowledging the
bitter cold air with a little shiver. Colder than I had
been warned; layers of hi-tech clothing failing miserably
to comfort me against the biting icy wind.

The Chazak team greeted us warmly with smiles and
food, and we thawed a little. They continued to surpass
expectations in keeping us fed, sheltered, physically
and emotionally, during the entire trip.

We struck up an instant ancestral camaraderie with
fellow passengers on this surreal trip; visiting as royalty
the places of dark memories.

At each of the historical places, we stopped to pay our
respects. Rabbi Moshe and J-Roots helped transport us
back in time. Together they wove an intricate blend of
context and the horrors of the occurrence, helping us to
characterise and empathise with those who had lived it.

It was the proverbial emotional rollercoaster. The lows were to be expected, but forget.
it was the highs that surprised. I left spiritually lifted. A feeling of overwhelming
achdut and gratitude. Am Yisrael Chai. We came back to those places as victors,
the Nazis were annihilated, and we continue to flourish. We celebrate life in memory
of those who lost theirs. Strengthen (Chazak) your heart and trust in Hashem.

We must neverWemustneverforget.

YALLA MAGAZINE 99

vignettes

Mfroorm occo
The community tour to Morocco this year with He was instrumental in opening the unique Jewish
Chazak and J-Roots was a memorable and stimulating museum in Casablanca, located in a residential
experience. Our five-day trip took place in Marrakech, suburb of the city. He recounted entertaining stories
a berber village and the tomb of Rabbi Shlomo Ben and anecdotes of his life-story – from growing up in
Hench, in the low Atlas Mountains, Casablanca, Morocco, to living in England and Israel, and returning
Fes and Rabat. to Morocco, and his exploits to recover and document
Jewish sites.
At every opportunity there were insightful tales and
inspiring words of Torah and history from our special The kosher catering was a home-from-home delight.
team of leaders and guides: our own Rabbi Moshe We were treated to delicious, fresh home-cooked
Levy, joined by Rabbi Yitzchak Farhi; Tzvi Sperber, authentic tagine and couscous dishes, in private homes
a professional tour guide from J-Roots; plus historian of families in the Marrakech community, or at the
Rafi Elmaleh. Rafi has devoted many years to recording Jewish clubs in Casablanca. All in all, it was a true
and preserving Moroccan Jewish heritage. private dining experience.

LEON MEYE R