AL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRI Winter Best Wedding Ever
bridal Searching the internet for Best Wedding Ever brings up a few unmen-
tionable events, but not surprisingly, the majority of events involve laugh-
I’d Love To… I Think… ter. Is it possible to have fun at a wedding? Well, yes. You just have to keep
your stress level down. How in the world do you keep stress out of your
We’ve been best friends since sixth grade and were even roommates in wedding day? After all you’ve done to make this the best day ever, how can
college. I moved to the other side of the country and I’m looking for a job it possibly be stress-free? You’re going to have to make some choices.
— again. When it’s all been said and done, what really matters? Your attitude. If you
are, by nature, an uptight person, the challenge is on. However, with a bit
“You’re getting married? You want me to be your maid of honor? I’d of pre-planning, you can prevent some of the probable frenzy and lessen
love to… I think.” negative reactions. If possible, have a paid (or unpaid) wedding coordinator
who can roll with the punches, ’cuz the punches are going to come.
Before you accept such an honoring invitation, STOP. Count the cost…
then bravely and sensibly discuss. Where’s the cake? The caterer forgot the cake! Send someone to a near-
by grocery store to get already prepared desserts and ask a creative friend
Most bridesmaid dresses cost $150 and up. Then there are shoes, under- to display them festively. If the cake fell, don’t scream. It happens. Find
garments, alterations, gifts, jewelry, travel expenses (airfare, eats, hotel), that creative friend to remove the cake to the prep area to salvage pieces
time off of work, hairdresser, makeup and all the unexpected expenses. Can and place them neatly on plates. (A discreet photo of the mess will one day
you really afford to be in your dear friend’s wedding? It may cost $800– make you laugh.)
$1,000. But how can you say no?
Hopefully, your wedding officiant has a sense of humor and can distract
As a bride, please be aware of the lifestyles of those whom you ask to attention from unlit candles, children’s antics, a misplaced ring, germ-
be in your wedding. Most of your expenses are probably paid for by your spewing coughs, bored-looking groomsmen, birds flying amidst the chan-
parents. Your friends will probably have to foot their own bills. And many deliers, or eye-burning odors among the attendants.
just may not be able to afford to.
Select a few even-tempered guests to quell any possible arguments
As an invited, but cash-poor bridesmaid or maid of honor, what are your among exes.
options? Start with honesty. Explain to your friend, if she isn’t already
aware, your financial situation. If there is an amount you can spend on her Get a good night’s rest before the wedding. Moods alter quickly with
wedding, let her know that limitation. Perhaps her budget would include sleep deprivation.
paying part of your expenses, or perhaps she could select more reasonably
priced necessities. Limit alcohol availability. A couple choices of wine and maybe a light
beer could suffice during the reception.
If you can attend but not participate in the wedding party, perhaps you
could contribute to the celebration in another capacity: greeting guests, Be sure to have enough hunger-satisfying food; growling stomachs can
helping her get ready, hosting a bachelorette party, running errands with cause the natives to get quite restless. Even “filler food” among hors d’oeu-
her, coordinating a shower. The good memories will be in the time spent vres can placate a voracious appetite.
together, not the amount of money you had to spend on a never-to-be-
worn-again gown in the back of your closet. Not to be undervalued is a quick-witted, humorous (not cheesy) DJ who
can spin the atmosphere into laughter. While you and your new spouse are
Friendships are invaluable; good friends understand and accommodate greeting your guests, the DJ is filling the air with celebratory sounds. All
each other. Your friend’s wedding becomes a lifelong memory. Your desire is well. Carry on.
and challenge are keeping those memories positive, with lots of pictures
with lots of smiles. It’s pretty hard to have the best wedding ever when people are tense,
grouchy and rude. When that person is the bride or groom, well now…
True friends make it happen. Good luck.
So, lighten up, prepare as well as you can, then make the best of any sit-
uation. Throw cares to the wind and laugh. This is your day — hopefully
your best day ever!
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032819 010920 January 9, 2020 HAPPENINGS Page 23
WinterAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRparty," says wedding consultant Robyn Bruns, of horseshoes or chat around a blazing bonfire.
FW2017president of Red Letter Event Planning. "One of
bridal my clients did a double reception all in one day. --Serve more casual cuisine. From a backyard
They got married in the early daytime on a barbecue or picnic-style finger foods to interna-
Make it more casual the Saturday and had a very formal luncheon. Later tional fare, with a casual reception anything
second time that evening, they had a cocktail party at the goes.
bride and groom's home, which definitely had a
Two wedding receptions means twice the more fun atmosphere." --Skip the slow dance. For your first dance,
planning -- and twice the cost -- but it's a popular get the whole wedding party involved in a chore-
option for couples with faraway friends and fam- "The second reception is an opportunity for ographed line dance, or move everyone to the
ily who can't make it to the wedding. the couple to have fun," Bruns says. "The recep- dance floor for the electric slide.
tion can still include the formal toasts, cake cut-
In fact, more and more couples are hosting a ting, etc., but it should also have a sense that this --Instead of cutting a wedding cake, serve up
party after the party. is not the first time these things are being done." crowd-pleasing cream pies, or dish out ice cream
from a make-your-own sundae bar.
"Couples choose to host double receptions To help keep it casual and encourage guests to
because they recognize that their entire guest list have fun without breaking the bank, think --Forget the fussy dress code. Have the groom
will not be able to attend their wedding, typically beyond tradition. wear his favorite T-shirt under a classy linen suit,
because of geographic reasons," says Joyce while the bride dons a fun white frock with a pair
Scardina Becker, owner of Events of Distinction --Take it outdoors. For a relaxed reception, of her wildest heels.
and author of "Countdown to Your Perfect look to public parks, beachside venues or even
Wedding." your own backyard. Guests will be more inclined --Display pictures from the ceremony, espe-
to let loose if they can start an impromptu game cially if you had a destination wedding. Friends
"When I got married, we had a very formal and family will want to see your seaside nuptials
San Francisco wedding and reception for 120 and catch a glimpse of the exotic honeymoon.
guests," Becker says. "Six weeks later, we trav-
eled to upstate New York for a casual picnic --Skip the open bar and unlimited alcohol. For
reception for another 100 guests. Our guests did- an afternoon reception, serve signature mixed
n't need to spend money and time traveling to the drinks from a punch bowl, or offer a local micro-
receptions; we came to them." brew on tap. Or go alcohol-free with soda pop
Double receptions are the perfect solution for
couples planning destination weddings and those --Look to technology. Instead of hiring a tra-
with family who just can't make it to the ceremo- ditional wedding band, load an MP3 player with
ny, but planning two lavish parties can quickly your favorite tunes, and crank up the speakers.
eat away at the wedding budget.
--Forget the florist. Instead, hit the discount
"You can be dreaming up fabulous celebra- retailers for a few dozen roses or mixed bou-
tions in your mind and sailing along on a colli- quets, and use your own vases to create simple
sion course with the reality of how much things yet elegant table toppers.
will actually cost," Becker says.
--Make your own invites. When asking guests
To cut costs, couples are scaling back on the to attend a casual reception, invitations created
second reception. From finger foods and limited on your home computer, fill-in-the-blank post-
cocktails to a more casual venue, the key is cre- cards and online invites are perfectly acceptable.
ating a fun, less formal event.
Above all, don't stress the small stuff. This is
"There is less formality at a second reception. your chance to really kick back and have fun, so
The couple can sit back, visit and have a fun take advantage. If the couple enjoy themselves,
their guests will, too.
"If you enjoy entertaining with family and
friends, nothing beats the joys and lasting mem-
ories of a great party," Becker says.
Page 24 HAPPENINGS January 9, 2020 www.hap2it.com 13$ 95
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A Morning Affair menu. Instead of the usual, pricey dinner fare, also drink less in the morning, cutting down on
you can serve fruit, waffles, muffins, donuts, the bar bill.
Picture it. The sun is out, the air is cool, and bacon, quiche and whatever other breakfast
guests are mingling at the mimosa bar, taking in foods come to mind. By having the wedding earlier, you can free
the gorgeous scenery and waiting for the nuptials up everyone in the afternoon. You can start your
to begin. It is only 9 a.m., but you’re up and Just as the menu can be simpler and less honeymoon sooner and give guests more time
dressed to the nines for the most important day expensive for a morning wedding, so can the for travel and leisure. Rather than book a hotel
of your life. It’s your wedding day, and you’re attire. You can go with less informal dresses for room for the night and drive home the next
getting things off to an early start. the ladies and suits and ties for the guys. Guests morning, some guests may be able to leave that
can also dress down as well, making for a more day, while others who live nearby will be free to
While the majority of weddings take place in comfortable time all around. do what they wish with the rest of the day.
the afternoon or evening, some couples are opt-
ing to buck tradition and scheduling their nup- Along with cutting costs on the food and Morning weddings are unusual, but for some
tials earlier in the day. Instead of lunch or dinner, attire, you can also cut costs on the vendors. brides and grooms, they are the way to go.
they are serving brunch and giving guests the More vendors will be available early in the Forget dancing into the wee hours of the night
opportunity to leave earlier and have more of the morning, and many will offer reduced rates at and leaving for your honeymoon the next morn-
day to themselves. that time, especially if it allows them to book ing. Schedule your wedding for 10 and be in Key
another wedding later in the day. Guests will West by 6!
While not everyone is a morning person, there
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might even be able to book your wedding at a
venue that rarely permits weddings due to their
conflict with business hours. As long as your
wedding is over by 10:30 a.m. and does not run
into the lunch rush, for example, you might be
able to have it at that lakeside restaurant you
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Page 26 HAPPENINGS January 9, 2020 www.hap2it.com K
Winter January 9, 2020 HAPPENINGS Page 27 DAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRIDAL GUIDE • BRI
Wedding vows: the promises that
two people make to each other during
their wedding ceremony
Promise: a declaration that one will
do or refrain from doing something
But what is that vow worth? What
weight does the promise hold?
Millions of men and women have
recited vows, stating a variety of life-
I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful
wife/husband, to have and to hold
from this day forward, for better, for
worse, for richer, for poorer, in sick-
ness and health, until death do us part.
…I will love and honor you all the days of my life.
…I pledge thee my faith.
…I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.
…This is my solemn vow.
…I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be
your loving and faithful [husband/wife], in plenty and in want, in joy and
in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.
…I faithfully promise to love and support you from this day forward, in
sickness and health, in plenty and in want, in success and in failure, in joy
and in worry, as long as we both shall live.
If promises are made in a wedding ceremony then broken by 30-40% of
Americans, what is the purpose of the vow? Can I not trust my mate’s
words? Do I not understand his/her heart? Can I not even trust my own
I promise to love and support:
In sickness… Terminal illness? Mental illness?
In want… When I can’t find a job and we’re living on government hand-
In sorrow… When she doesn’t come home all night? When he screams
at me in rage? When his addiction has taken everything from the family?
In failure… When all the money was spent at the racetrack or the bar,
and the mortgage is overdue — again?
In worry… What will the kids eat? When will our electricity be turned
My vow stated that I’ll be with you forever — till I die. But situations
changed. You chose to turn your back on me and the kids. You left me with
all the problems, while adding another big one. I’m not the person you
thought I was, and I am not willing to change.
But I vowed…
The first recorded vows were published in 1549 in the Church of
England’s Book of Common Prayer. Did marriages survive before then?
Did they die? Were promises ever broken? Absolutely.
Vows may be made from the heart or recklessly stated for selfish satis-
faction. Good intentions… Perhaps marriage recitations should be reword-
ed to reflect human limitations. We long for the ideals of love, honesty,
integrity, faithfulness, forgiveness, patience — lofty aspirations often
required of others but admittedly difficult to attain in our own lives.
Before we commit, before we state, before we vow… we must carefully