Adelaide Literary Magazine No.7, Volume Two, June 2017

Adelaide Magazine

opportunity to ask her about Slippery Sadie’s. Mai Mai summoned her Chinese servants to bring
was surprisingly frank. She had immigrated to the cognac to the warm bubbling spa nearby. Mai
US on a fabricated visa twenty years earlier land- removed all her clothing and entered the spa in-
ing a job as a masseuse. She amassed enough viƟng me to join her. She drew close to me and
savings to purchase her first massage parlor. She with the expert touch of a masseuse and gentle
was able to expand her business by culƟvaƟng kiss, invited me to penetrate her. The servants
relaƟonships with “regulars” who were business- returned with plush bathrobes and we retreated
men willing to invest in new stores for both the to the master bedroom for a rain shower in her
high return on investment and “perks” with Mai’s lavish bathroom followed by pillow talk draped in
girls. Mai didn’t like partners and always paid red silk sheets. Mai was quick to the point and
them off earlier than agreed. Mai operated a proposed a business proposiƟon. She wanted me
sham American-Chinese tourist agency out of a to handle all of her landlord and tenant negoƟa-
post office box which arranged for young beauƟ- Ɵons as well as any immigraƟon issues. I told her I
ful Asian girls to “visit” wasn’t an aƩorney but knew my way around the
law because I was studying for the bar. Mai also
Vegas on a tourist visa and go to work in her mas- wanted the benefit of my contacts within the po-
sage parlors. All of the travel costs were paid by lice department as raids on her massage parlors
Mai. When the tourist visa was about to expire, were infrequent but costly. Mai proposed that we
Mai would enroll the girls in the local community could make big money from insurance seƩle-
college “English studies” program and applied for ments if I helped her stage accidents with Zion.
student visas. Her system seemed to be working She would supply the injured vicƟms from her
and seldom resulted in any immigraƟon complica- pool of massage therapists and immigrant com-
Ɵons. Slippery Sadie’s were opening at a rate of munity contacts and give me kickbacks from the
one per month aƩracƟng customers with bill- seƩlement money. In the back of my mind, I knew
boards adverƟsements throughout Vegas de- Sy was dying and pondered my job security. I told
picƟng young Asian beauƟes wearing cowboy her I would think about it but to propose a com-
hats, chaps, holsters, and cowboy boots. Mai was pensaƟon package if I was to represent her busi-
overwhelmed by the lease negoƟaƟons and land- ness interests. She wasted no Ɵme in offering me
lord tenant disputes because her English wasn’t 25% equity in all of her new establishments I
good and didn’t understand the law. She asked helped open. I accepted and said I would draŌ a
me to review a new lease she was negoƟaƟng and partnership agreement and LLC on each new
it didn’t take me long to find the lease was store opened. I knew the equity was only a carrot
wriƩen in favor of the landlord. I suggested she and Mai wanted the big money from the insur-
include free rent, tenant improvement allowance, ance payout scam. I soon discovered that the
and massage exclusivity clause in her negoƟa- third phone Mai owned was reserved for commu-
Ɵons. Mai was impressed and handed me the file nicaƟon between the two of us. She would call
saying “you handle for me” and conƟnued taking me day and night and I knew what Nassir felt like
calls throughout dinner. I found Mai aƩracƟve. being at Sy’s beck and call.
She was small in stature but tall in moxy. She had
an uncharacterisƟc large bust line for an Asian I laid awake evenings thinking about scamming
woman and her figure was shapely. Her hair was Zion and I couldn’t bring myself to harm Sy who
long and braided into a ponytail. Her small hands had become a father figure to me and then it
were delicate and adorned with Jade. dawned on me. Although Zion was the largest taxi
operator in Vegas, “gypsy cabs” refusing to join
I prepared a counter proposal on Mai’s leƩerhead the Zion cooperaƟve, ride share companies, and
to her landlord who capitulated to all of my de- Limousines cut into Sy’s market share. It would be
mands and I was invited to Mai’s palaƟal home in a smarter “bet” to target these operators and
an exclusive gated neighborhood outside Vegas. leave Zion out of it. To make it work, I would need
She was wearing a sexy low cut black dress and the help of Hush, Jonny, and Doc. I would also
smelled of Chanel. We enjoyed champagne and need to disclose it to Sy who would likely want no
caviar poolside. The champagne lowered my de- part of it.
fenses throughout the night as Mai probed about
my police and insurance contacts. AŌer dinner, Nassir called me in the middle of the night and

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told me Sy had been rushed to the emergency were no longer abstract text book concepts be-
room and was having trouble breathing. He was cause I lived and breathed them every day. When
requesƟng to see me immediately. Sy was in a I sat for the exam and began reading the case
private room. He was ashen gray and hooked up studies loaded with contracts, property, and torts
to an oxygen tank. His arm uncontrollably trem- principles which were easy to miss to an un-
bled as he reached for my hand and held it with trained eye, I found each of them to be excep-
that bear like grip but it was weaker than I recall. Ɵonally obvious. Not only did I see the legal issue
He removed the breathing mask and told me that at hand, I had well reasoned answers to each
he respected me because I had the hustle and the quesƟon and was the first to complete the exam
street smarts he had as a young man. He appreci- as I looked about the convenƟon center where
ated my drive and desire to learn his business at hundreds sat for the exam.
the expense of my bar exam studies which he told
me to pursue because I would be one of the great About a month later, an envelope from the State
shysters of Vegas one day. He made me a gener- Bar Examiners arrived in the mail noƟfying me
ous proposiƟon making me Chief ExecuƟve that I passed the exam and was in the upper 95%
Officer of Zion with a 75% equity stake. The re- percenƟle of examinees. For the first Ɵme in my
maining 25% would go to Jewish and Israeli young adult life, I broke down in tears for my fa-
philanthropies dear to Sy’s heart that I would ther as I held his box of ashes close to my heart
oversee. He had a contract ready for me to sign as and told him Pop we’ll be taking that ride down
he pressed the buƩon to summon a nurse who Pacific Coast Highway soon! AŌer taking my oath
arrived with a notary. He gave me that same at the State Building and receiving my State of
shark like stare the day he offered me the job: Nevada Bar License, I set up Accident Injury Legal
“are you in or are you out”. I said, I’m all in Sy. Consultants, LLC as a law firm which quickly flour-
The contract would take effect immediately. Sy ished. Mai staged accidents between Chinese
told me that he had less than a few days to live. tourists and the livery, ride share, and gypsy cab
When the notary finished her work and we had companies. The ride share drivers were the easi-
both signed, Sy told me to convene a meeƟng of est to seƩle because they were frightened about
the “gang” who would receive a copy of the the damage to their personal vehicle, liability to
agreement and I was now their boss and business their passengers and doubts about the insurance
as usual. This was the opportunity I needed to coverage from the rideshare company. The pas-
establish a staged automobile accident insurance sengers were also easy marks because they knew
hustle which would increase Zion’s market share they were in a private passenger vehicle with
at the expense of the compeƟƟon and enrich the minimal insurance coverage and I made it clear
members of the new LLC which would include the rideshare company would be difficult to sue. I
me, the members of the “gang” and Mai. It would could seƩle these for $500-$1000. The hard case
be called “Accident Injury Legal Consultants, LLC”. gypsy cabs and limos capitulated when Jonny or
Sy died that morning and his body was flown by one of his traffic cops arrived on scene and began
private jet for burial in Jerusalem. The flags at finding vehicle code violaƟons, outstanding immi-
Zion headquarters were flown at half staff. graƟon or arrest warrants on the drivers and pre-
sented them with an unfavorable accident report.
I knew the bar exam was coming up fast but I was Doc’s medical reports and Hush’s behind the
so busy doing seƩlements for Sy and working as scenes negoƟaƟons with the insurance adjustors
Mai’s business manager I didn’t have Ɵme to always favored our case. Word spread amongst
study. I contemplated giving up the law with my Zion’s compeƟtors that “AILC” was the “go to”
new found equity in Zion and Slippery Sadie’s. I law firm for accidents and retained our firm to
didn’t need to be a lawyer but I remembered how also seƩle their cases! As I grew to know the own-
proud my passing the bar would make Pop and ership of these compeƟng companies, I was able
Sy. I went ahead and registered for the Bar exam to negoƟate their purchase for Zion increasing
which would be my fourth and final aƩempt at our market share and becoming a virtual monop-
passing. In represenƟng Sy and Mai’s business oly within the Vegas taxi cab business. AILC be-
interests, the legal principles of torts, property, came the dominant auto accident legal firm
and contract law had become real to me. They in Vegas and I became enriched by my equity in

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Adelaide Magazine

Zion, AILC and Slippery Sadie’s. I never needed a James Santore
billboard to aƩract clients!
It was a five hour drive from Vegas to beauƟful 1
Del Mar California which is home to one of
Pop’s favorite horse racing tracks. Pop and I en- It was morning Ɵme in South Lymon, Ohio and
joyed every minute of the long drive in my new there were fourteen men standing in front of a
red Ferrari with Sinatra playing. The sun set be- house. The grass on the front lawn was long and
hind the blue Pacific Ocean with a blue sky paint- patchy and moist with morning dew. It was early
ed with wisps of orange and yellow clouds. I re- April, and it was cold. Overhead was blue and dry,
flected upon my father’s journey through life as just a cloud or two. The wind was rhythmic. Every
well as my own. In one hand, I held a boƩle of few minutes swiŌ rushes would funnel between
cognac and in the other; I held the box with Pop’s the houses sending unzipped jackets rippling, and
remains. I opened the lid to the box and as a fanning the branches of trees. Tall and lanky black
wave crashed into me just above my knees, I poplars forty feet high would lean forward then
sprinkled Pop’s ashes into the warm blue surf and arch back, green leaves kicking the breeze. Small,
he was gone forever but would always be my in- rounded Japanese maples the color of beets, and
spiraƟon. I took a swig of the cognac and toasted white and pink flowering dogwoods would con-
my beloved father saying I love you Pop and will vulse up and down, dancing for the men. A biƟng
never forget you. I also toasted our best friend Sy wind. One of those days that made you wake up
Hersh. They don’t make fellas like those anymore! and think twice about what season it was.
Between my investments in AILC, the Zion Taxi
CooperaƟve, and Slippery Sadie’s, my reputaƟon The men were kicking at a crazed, rup-
as a cunning business lawyer spread throughout tured sidewalk the color of old sweatpants. They
Las Vegas and I took on clients ranging from Casi- were dressed in jeans and wore thick flannels
no moguls to real estate developers. I was a fea- over white t-shirts. A few had light jackets of tan
tured speaker at State Bar convenƟons. My legal or navy blue. Most were in their forƟes or early
achievements, naƟve son ciƟzenship and youth fiŌies, but a couple were well over seventy, and
made me an aƩracƟve candidate for poliƟcal one was just eighteen.
office and was courted to run for office.
Every once in awhile, one of the insects crawls They wore their hair short, and looked
out from underneath the diamond and takes it much like the other men in this part of Ohio: ei-
with them. ther sinewy, with coarse, weathered skin, and
hair that always seemed to be thinning out yet
About the Author: never completely disappearing; or fleshy men
with whey skin, thick dark hair, and beefy arms. It
Jonathan Ferrini is a published author who lives was the geneƟc compromise in this part of the
in San Diego. He received his MFA in MoƟon Pic- Buckeye State. Once he reached a certain age, a
ture and Television ProducƟon from UCLA. man tended to driŌ toward one or the other.

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Revista Adelaide

THE MONEY
CHANGERS

For a few more minutes they talked, and then one 2
pointed toward a yellowed and washed out twin
house two lots leŌ of where they stood. He was “They call us offenders,” said the county execu-
paying parƟcular aƩenƟon to its four squared, Ɵve. He sipped his coffee from a warm thermos
eight-foot pillars; the white paint peeled, crusted, the color of its contents.
and chipped.
“Offenders?”
Then, as if an alarm sounded, they all scaƩered,
heading toward their homes. “Offenders. We violate moral law. In fact,
it seems they’re the only ones who don’t violate
The men and their families called them- moral law.”
selves The Armor of God. And they were the only
ones who called themselves that. They were nine- John Huff’s son was home for college – just
teen families, one hundred and thirteen people the weekend, then back to CincinnaƟ for finals.
aged two months to seventy-four years. Over the The men were headed south on State Route 139;
last decade, they had mutely bought all of the a doƩed, two lane backwater. They were three
sixteen abandoned, neglected twin homes that miles from South Lymon.
amounted to the unincorporated town of South
Lymon. It had gone from company town to ghost John went on. “I appreciate you coming
town to a God-fearing village of pious (or sancƟ- with me. This’ll be good experience. Dealing with
monious, depending in which aisle you stood) others, with people different, very different from
ChrisƟans, whose unwavering, irrefutably dog- you isn’t always easy. It takes pracƟce.”
maƟc beliefs were stamped in first-century Chris-
Ɵanity. “Yessum. Ma backward ways sure do need
some refinin’.”
The AOR believed two things were undeni-
able: Hal Huff smiled, rapidly scanning his dad.
John was fiŌy-nine. He wore an Ohio State base-
1) modern religion had become watered down to ball hat, maroon sweatshirt, tennis shoes and
the point of sacrilege (or worse, secularity) jeans. He was from the slender, pasty, thinning
hair syndicate of Ohioans.
and
John had large, deep creases from the base
2) that Jesus Christ was not sent to earth as the of his nose to his chin, and his skin was tough. He
loving, tender, and solicitous Savior fashionable had been the principal of Zeune High School for
theology would have you believe. For he was the twenty-eight years before his reƟrement from
Messianic Warrior, arrayed with a garment educaƟon. To the bewilderment of those who
dipped in blood splayed as one who has tramped knew him best, for he was a rather taciturn man,
through the winepress. he then ran for county execuƟve. In a district of

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